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Ladies and gentlemen,
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please welcome Trevor Noah!
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Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
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Thank you very much.
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Hello.
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Yeah!
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This is us.
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Hello. Thank you. Thank you.
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Thank you very much.
Nice to see you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
Welcome. Welcome.
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This is us.
Washington, D.C.
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Yeah!
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Okay, you guys feeling good?
Yeah?
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That's good.
That's good, yeah.
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Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo to you too.
- Whoo!
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And that as well, ma'am.
And that as well.
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I love that.
I love the sounds people make.
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It's so much fun, yeah.
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We're just-- we're just throwing
language out of the window.
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I like that.
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I feel like we're devolving
as human beings now.
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No, 'cause that was the thing
that separated us from the apes,
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wasn't it?
The fact that we chose speech.
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Yeah.
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The monkeys used to run around
and screech.
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And we were like, "No."
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English.
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But now, we've started
to go back to that,
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started to embrace our roots.
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People get excited,
"Are you happy?"
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"I'm real happy."
"How happy?"
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"Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!
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"Whoo-hoo!
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"Whoo! Whoo!
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Whoo!"
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That's one of
my favorite sounds.
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It sounds like
someone's having so much fun
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they hurt themselves.
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Like you didn't plan
ahead of time.
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Too much fun.
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Such a weird sound.
I love it.
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And you know what's crazy is
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that we all know
what that sound means.
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We don't agree on anything
in this world--
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race, religion, politics--
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but that sound, that "whoo-hoo,"
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has united us all.
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You can make that sound anywhere
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and people accept it.
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As long as there's alcohol
present,
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you can make that sound.
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Whoo-hoo!
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But there has to be alcohol.
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You can't make that sound
anywhere else.
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You can't make that sound
in the office.
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It's unacceptable.
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Your boss won't allow it.
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You can't be like, "Final email.
Sent.
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Whoo-hoo!"
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"Johnson!"
"Sorry, sir. Sorry, sorry."
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Can't make that sound in church.
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"And that is why Jesus died
for our sins."
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"Whoo-hoo!"
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"Sorry, pastor."
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"Go to hell."
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You just can't do it,
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but everyone knows it.
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Everyone knows
what "whoo-hoo" means.
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It means happiness, yeah.
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The happiness of the people.
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Strange, because no one asked me
to vote on it.
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I didn't get to choose.
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If I was to choose,
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I don't know that I would pick
"whoo-hoo"
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as the sound of happiness.
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Strangely enough,
I think it may be more apt
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as the sound of sadness.
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I could see it, at a funeral.
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Family gathered around
the caskets.
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Tears streaming down their face.
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Pastor reading the eulogy.
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"We'll always remember Mary
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"as a loving mother,
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"a caring friend,
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"foodie, blogger,
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"and wonderful sister.
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"Before we lay her to rest,
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"would you please join me now
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as we observe a moment
of whoo-hoo."
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Everyone's standing there
in tears.
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"Whoo-hoo!
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"Whoo-hoo!
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There'll always be one big lady
in the corner,
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[Amazing Grace melody]
♪ Whoo ♪
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"Thank you very much, sister."
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Such a fun sound.
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The sound of happiness.
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The sound of white happiness,
in particular.
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Yeah.
I've tracked it.
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I've searched for the source
of whoo-hoo
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and I found it originated
with white people.
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White-- white woman
in particular.
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Yeah, that's where
it comes from.
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That is the sound
of a white woman's turnup.
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That is the sound
of her getting into the game.
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It's like,
"Tammy! Whoo-hoo!"
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And that's where you know
it's on.
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Yeah, 'cause everyone else
learned it a from white woman.
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That's where it came from,
you know?
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It spread through society
like a virus.
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It's not the natural sound
anybody else makes.
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White women make that sound
instinctively,
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but everyone else
has learned it.
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Like, white men were
the first ones to learn it,
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because for them,
it's sort of like a mating call.
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They know what it means.
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They have to reciprocate,
like, "Whoo-hoo!"
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"Whoo-hoo!"
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But everyone else
had to learn it.
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It's a natural sound for them
but for nobody else.
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Like, black people whoo-hoo
but it's not the natural sound
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black people make for fun,
you know?
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Black people can whoo-hoo.
Black people often do whoo-hoo,
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but it's not instinctively
a black sound of happiness.
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And I think it's because
black people aren't comfortable
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with the whoo-hoo.
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Deep down inside there's
a certain moment in whoo-hoo
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when every black person
stops enjoying it.
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There's just--
there's just a moment
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when-- and maybe this is just
my personal experiences,
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but I fear it sounds eerily
similar to a police siren.
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There's just a moment
where it stops being fun.
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There's just that split second
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where it's like,
"Whoo-hoo, whoo!
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"Whoo, whoo, whoop-whoop, whoo.
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Whoop. Whoop. Boop."
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Put your hands in the air...
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and keep them there.
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It's not the sound of happiness
in my life, that's not--
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Although, I guess that's why
white people do it.
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'Cause white people
love calling the police,
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so they're probably like,
"Whoo-hoo!
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"My God, the cops are here!
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"Party time!
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Come on in.
I thought you'd never make it."
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'Cause white people do,
white people have
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a very different relationship
with the police.
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I was trying to explain this
to my friend, Dave.
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You know, when we're hanging out
he's like,
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"Dude, what is it
with black people and police?"
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I'm like, "It's not that black
people don't like the police
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or hate the police,
it's just that-- it's just that
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we have a tumultuous history
with the police."
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One day we were driving--
we're driving on the highway
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and the police car
pulled up behind us
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and I got tense.
I just got really tense.
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And he's like,
"Dude, what's going on?"
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I said, "The police.
The police are behind us."
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He was like, "Yeah, and?
Did you do anything wrong?"
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I said,
"That's not the point."
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Because it really isn't.
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For white people,
that is the point.
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The police will send you to jail
if you do something wrong.
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As a black person, you have
a different relationship.
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The police may send you to jail
just because.
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I know this because I was--
I was driving--
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I got pulled over by the police
for the first time
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in my life in America.
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And already, I'm not
very comfortable when driving
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in the United States, you know.
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Not because it's the other side
of the road,
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but because it's
the other side of the car.
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I'm not used to that, you know.
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Like-- like, I always get into
the car on the wrong side.
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I'll be shopping and I'll come
back to my car confidently,
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and I'll jump inside
and put the things down,
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and then I'm like, "Ah."
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And then instead of getting out,
I sit there.
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I always just sit there,
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because I always think
somebody's watching me.
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So I just sit there and I act
like I planned it all, like...
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"Where is my driver?"
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"Where is my--
He should have been here by now.
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Where is my-- Well,
I guess I'll drive myself."
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I don't know why I do that.
I'm not comfortable.
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But you have to drive
in Los Angeles.
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So I had a little rental car
and I'm driving on the freeway
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and this police car
pulls up behind me.
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And he drives behind me
for a little bit
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and then he flashes his lights.
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And I was like,"
he probably wants to go past."
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And so I moved over
to the middle lane
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and then he came with me
and he flashed his lights again.
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And I was like, "Come on,
just go past me, man.
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Just go past me, man."
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And I went back to the fast
lane, he came back with me.
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And he hit-- flash the lights,
and this time it was like,
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whoop, whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop.
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And I was like, "Yeah, go past.
You keep coming with me.
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Go past." 'Cause I didn't think
he was stopping me.
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I thought it was basically
the vehicular equivalent
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of that moment on the sidewalk
when you both don't know
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which way to go.
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I thought we were doing that
with our cars,
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like, "Yeah.
Yeah, all right."
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I thought that was happening.
I thought that was happening.
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And clearly he thought
that I was evading him
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in the most polite manner ever,
because he gets irritated,
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and he's like, "Pull over
to the side of the road, sir."
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Whoop, whoop.
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"Pull over
to the side of the road now."
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Now, I couldn't hear
what the hell he was saying.
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I'm not gonna-- Which I think
is part of the problem.
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I don't think it's fair
that police have speakers
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on their cars and we don't.
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I think this is
a recipe for disaster.
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That's the first step
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in mending relationships
is communication, people.
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I don't know what the hell
that guy was saying,
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but I couldn't tell him.
He was like,
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"Pull over to the side of the
road."
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If I had a speaker, I would have
had the ability to be like,
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"Sir, I cannot hear
what you're saying.
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"Enunciate your words, please.
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Enunciate your words.
Speak clearly."
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"I said, pull over."
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Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
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"No, no, use your words, buddy,
use your words.
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Talk to me. Talk to me.
What do you need?"
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"Pull over, pull over."
I'd be like,
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"Okay, I will be pulling over
right now. Thank you very much."
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Like, it would be more
effective, but I didn't know.
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So I'm-- and he's like,
"Pull over."
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I'm like, "I don't know what
the hell you want."
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"Pull over to the side
of the road."
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I'm like,
"What are you talking about?"
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He's like,
"Pull over! Pull over!"
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And I panicked,
and so I stopped. I pulled over.
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Right there where I was
on the freeway, which apparently
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you're not supposed to do.
I didn't know this,
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'cause I just know that police
tell me to do something,
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I do it. So he said,
"Pull over," and then I stopped.
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and then he was like,
"Don't pull over there."
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Then I was like, "Well, you
should have been more specific.
246
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,460
You can't tell me to pull over
and then tell me not pull over.
247
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,162
You should've said pull over at
a time that is more appropriate.
248
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,730
You can't just tell--
Now I'm panicking.
249
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,432
He's like,
"Get back onto the road."
250
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,700
I'm like, "This guy does not
know what he wants. I'm-- "
251
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,001
Now, I'm back on the road.
252
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,903
He's like,
"Take the next exit."
253
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,138
And now, we're driving
and now he's guiding me along.
254
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,839
It's like I had
a really angry GPS.
255
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,474
It was the weirdest thing ever.
256
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,543
And, so he's driving me like,
Make a right at the light.
257
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:39,945
Make a right."
258
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,212
It's like I chose angry cop
on my Waze.
259
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,714
That's what it felt like.
260
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,349
He was like, "Turn left.
No, I said left. Turn left."
261
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:48,954
No, recalculating.
When it is safe, Mickey."
262
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,826
And so finally--
finally we stopped.
263
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,394
We stop, I pull over
on the side of the road.
264
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,797
He pulls over behind me
and he gets out of the car,
265
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,667
and I'm **** myself.
266
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,968
As he gets out, he goes,
267
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,137
"Keep your hands
where I can see them!"
268
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,339
I'm like, "I don't know
what you can see or not see.
269
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,307
"I don't know.
270
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,409
"These are very
vague instructions.
271
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,979
I don't know what you can't"--
So now, I'm doing this.
272
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,015
'Cause I don't know
what you can see or not.
273
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,216
I was--
Like, don't get me wrong.
274
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,118
I just--
You know what the thing is.
275
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,920
I just don't want to die.
That's all, I don't--
276
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:25,290
I just don't want to die.
And I know I don't look like--
277
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,392
but I'm not the dying type.
I really-- I'm not.
278
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,060
Like, I'm a chill-out guy
who likes living.
279
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,029
I don't want to die,
and the worst thing is
280
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,231
I don't know how not to die.
281
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,400
That's the thing.
I don't know how not to die.
282
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,135
'Cause every day,
I turn on the TV it seems like
283
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,103
another black person
is being shot.
284
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:42,640
So I just want to know
how not to get shot, you know?
285
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:46,411
I try and learn, I really do.
I try and learn, you know?
286
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:50,014
It all started in the lower--
in the lower echelons
287
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,517
of enforcement, community watch,
288
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,954
George Zimmerman, shot Trayvon,
the young boy.
289
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,089
And the story started off
with "Man shoots boy."
290
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,524
Everyone was like,
"Yeah, this is horrible.
291
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,125
This is disgusting."
292
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,760
But then the news, for some
strange reason, the next day
293
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,262
they just forget and then they
start asking other questions.
294
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,997
"Well, why was he wearing
a hoodie?
295
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,899
What was he doing, and why
was he wearing a hoodie?"
296
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,867
I was like, "Is that-- so
that's-- so don't wear a hoodie."
297
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,304
That's what it is, the hoodie.
It's very frightening.
298
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,406
You don't know
what's going on under there.
299
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,075
Yeah, we've all seen
"Star Wars."
300
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,577
It's the creepiest thing ever.
Yeah, yeah.
301
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,380
It's the dark side.
And so I was like,
302
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,148
if I don't wear a hoodie
then I'm safe.
303
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,483
No one's gonna shoot me
if I don't wear a hoodie.
304
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:28,186
you cut forward,
and then the next thing you know
305
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,456
it's Mike Brown in Ferguson,
and he gets shot by the police.
306
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:32,957
Unarmed, gets shot.
307
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,926
You know, like a man was unarmed
and he got shot,
308
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,527
and I was like,
"This is disgusting."
309
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,730
And they said, "But also,
he approached the police officer
310
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,932
"apparently, and he may or may
not have scuffled with him.
311
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,433
We don't know,
but he approached him."
312
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,902
And I was like, okay, okay,
don't wear a hoodie
313
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,071
and don't approach the police.
Don't go towards the police.
314
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,606
You see police,
you go the other way.
315
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,042
You got the other way from--
Okay, cool. I got it.
316
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,610
So no hoodies,
no approaching the police.
317
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,445
This is it, I'm learning.
I'm learning. This is--
318
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,414
But then-- but then the next guy
comes on the news,
319
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,383
Eric Garner in New York City.
320
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,184
And there he is,
he's standing and the police,
321
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,652
they apprehend him
and they start choking him.
322
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,254
He doesn't go towards them.
He doesn't--
323
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,689
He's standing there
with his arms up,
324
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,491
and he gets choked to death
by six policemen.
325
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,259
And then they come on the news
and they say-- and they go,
326
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,894
"Well, you gotta understand,
for these police, I mean,
327
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,963
"this was a--
this was a pretty big guy.
328
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,298
"He was a pretty big guy.
He was scary.
329
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,534
He was a really scary,
big black guy."
330
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:19,270
And I'm like, "Okay, cool.
So don't be a big black guy
331
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,671
"and then you should be fine.
332
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:22,573
Don't be a big black guy
and then I should"--
333
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,043
And every day I look in the
mirror and I'm like, "Good job."
334
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,711
And I'm like,
"Okay, fine, fine."
335
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,614
Okay, so don't wear a hoodie.
Don't wear your hoodie
336
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,116
and don't approach the policemen
and don't be a big black man.
337
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,052
I think-- I think
I've got it all down. I think--
338
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,888
And then I turn on the TV
and then I see Walter Scott.
339
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,689
A 50-something-year-old man
340
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,658
running away from a policeman
341
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,395
getting shot in the back.
Running away from the policeman.
342
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:47,231
And again, the media,
for some strange reason,
343
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,933
just seems to forget
what the main purpose
344
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,968
of-- of the discussion is.
'Cause on day one they go,
345
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,703
"Unarmed man shot in the back."
346
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,706
Day two they're like,
"Who was Walter Scott?
347
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,275
"Let's find out about it.
348
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:01,679
Apparently he had a charge
of assault against him in 1987."
349
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,082
So he gets shot for it?
350
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:05,616
How hard did he punch the guy
351
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,385
that he gets shot for it
in 2015?
352
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,153
What, did he punch the guy
into the future
353
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,923
and then he came back to get
him? Is that what happened?
354
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,291
I mean, it was the '80s.
355
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,725
Everyone punched somebody
in the '80s.
356
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,127
I don't understand why
this is a big deal.
357
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,595
They were saying
the craziest things.
358
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,330
They were like, "Walter Scott,
I mean, this is--
359
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,898
"Everybody's talking about
the police officer.
360
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000
Let's talk about him.
Why did he run? Why did he run?"
361
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,504
'Cause he didn't want
to go to jail.
362
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,072
Are we really
gonna live in a world
363
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,740
where police no longer
want to chase criminals?
364
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,409
Is that what we're saying?
Is that what we're saying?
365
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,311
Police no longer want
to chase criminals.
366
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,679
That's the whole point
of the game, isn't it?
367
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,514
We played it as kids,
cops and robbers, yeah?
368
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,616
You've seen the movies.
That's what makes it fun.
369
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,618
"Freeze!"
"You can't catch me, copper."
370
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,986
And then you run.
371
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,256
That's what makes it fun.
372
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,691
Now, police no longer want
to chase criminals.
373
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,559
We're gonna live in a world
where police--
374
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,261
Can you imagine what that's
gonna do to the movie industry?
375
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,629
It's gonna be horrible.
376
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,664
We're gonna be watching
"Bad Boys Five,"
377
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,233
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith,
"Freeze!"
378
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,301
"Okay."
End of movie. Done.
379
00:13:57,403 --> 00:14:00,071
It would be
the worst movie ever.
380
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,572
This is the strangest thing.
381
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,374
They ask all the weird
questions,
382
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,610
questions that have nothing to
do with a man being shot
383
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,111
who is unarmed.
384
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,247
They come on and they go,
"Also-- also noted
385
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:13,618
is that Walter Scott owed
$16,000 in child support."
386
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,889
To the cop?
387
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,759
No, no, I mean, like--
388
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,565
To the--
389
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,801
'Cause-- 'cause that would be
a different story.
390
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,537
That would be like if that was
the mother of his children
391
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,173
that shot him,
then you know what?
392
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,041
I may-- I may actually
be on her side.
393
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,809
You never know, yeah.
394
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,444
I might have been there like,
"You know what, sister,
395
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,712
"you shoot him in the back,
girl.
396
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,347
"That's right, you shoot him
397
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,850
"thinking he ain't gonna pay
after he play.
398
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:49,387
"You shoot him in the back
thinking he gonna run away
399
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,822
"from his responsibilities.
400
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:55,560
Shoot him dead."
401
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,361
But this has nothing
to do with it.
402
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,163
A policeman shoots
an unarmed man.
403
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,066
He's running away,
and they have the nerve--
404
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,302
They have the nerve,
the crazy nerve to say,
405
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,270
"This officer feared
for his life. He was afraid."
406
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:09,407
Afraid of what?
The man's running away.
407
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,576
There's nothing less frightening
408
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,345
than somebody
running away from you.
409
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,514
That is the definition of fear.
He's running away.
410
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,382
The only thing he could have
done to be less threatening
411
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,251
is to cluck like a chicken
as he-- .
412
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,520
There's nothing less frightening
than a man
413
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,589
running away from you.
Like, what are you afraid of?
414
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,390
You can't say he was running--
"I was afraid."
415
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,026
Afraid of what?
He's running away from you.
416
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,128
That makes no sense.
You're seeing him from behind.
417
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,930
No one's threatening
from behind.
418
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,632
They're running away.
There's no one who's--
419
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,902
Like, maybe Kim Kardashian,
but nobody else is--
420
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,004
He's running away from you.
421
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,273
You shoot him in the back.
422
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,641
Like, yeah, "I was afraid."
Afraid of what?
423
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,209
What, do you have
abandonment issues?
424
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,946
Why would you shoot a man--
425
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:51,916
"My dad left when I was five."
426
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,318
Makes no sense.
427
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,622
So I don't know how not to die.
428
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:01,392
And here I am in my car
on the side of the road
429
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,694
in a random street
in Los Angeles,
430
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,763
and the whole time it was like,
"I don't want to die.
431
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,598
I don't want to die.
I don't want to die."
432
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,434
And the policeman
gets out of his car
433
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:13,804
and he starts walking towards me
434
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:17,241
and his hand is by his side.
435
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:21,279
And it's doing this.
436
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,114
And I've watched westerns.
437
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,618
I know what this means.
438
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,719
This is never good.
439
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,789
This never turns into
friendship.
440
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,863
So now, I'm starting to stress
and I'm looking at him
441
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,998
in the side mirror of my car
and I'm panicking,
442
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,567
because objects in the mirror
are closer than they appear.
443
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,936
So he's gonna get there
at any moment.
444
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,672
And I don't know why,
I don't know why I did this.
445
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,206
Like as soon as he-- I panicked.
I completely panicked,
446
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,608
and I launched myself
out the window.
447
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,576
I took my body
and I threw it out the window,
448
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,445
and I fell under the side
of the car just like...
449
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,314
and onto the side of the car.
450
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,516
I basically went back to nature.
I thought of a predator.
451
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,518
You don't make eye contact
and you play dead.
452
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,321
That's all I did, I just played
dead on the side of the car.
453
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,955
Which freaked him out.
He was completely--
454
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:07,758
He was just like, "What?
Hey, hey! Hey, what's going on?"
455
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,394
I said, "I'm sorry, officer.
I'm sorry."
456
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:11,996
He's like, "Sir,
what are you sorry for?"
457
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,231
I said, "Whatever it is that's
gonna make you shoot me,
458
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,701
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, officer."
459
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,402
He said, "Sir, get back in
the car. Get back in the car."
460
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:21,339
I said, "No! I don't wanna die.
461
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,040
"Please, I'm not falling
for that trick.
462
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:24,809
Please, officer, I'm sorry."
463
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,277
He's like, "Sir, I'm not--
I'm not gonna kill you.
464
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,945
Just get back in the car."
And I mean,
465
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,980
this guy was just as freaked out
as I was. I'm not gonna lie.
466
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,849
'Cause I mean, when I put myself
in his shoes, what does he do?
467
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,584
Imagine that, you're standing on
the side of the road,
468
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,419
a guy jumps out of his own car.
What doe he--
469
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:36,854
He can't even call for backup.
What does he say?
470
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,556
"10-4, I need backup."
"What do you need?"
471
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:41,659
"I got a black guy,
killed himself?"
472
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,694
"10-4, you gotta make something
up better than that.
473
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,296
We'll back you up, don't worry."
474
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,864
Like, you can't--
Like, what do you say?
475
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,433
It's just like a weird--
The guy's freaking out.
476
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,436
I'm freaking out,
and I'm lying there.
477
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,038
And this guy,
he-- he approaches slowly.
478
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,407
He approaches, he finally gets
to me and lifts my arms,
479
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,109
and he's like, "Get back
in the car, sir, get back.
480
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,544
Get back in." And he stuffs-- he
stuffs me back into my window.
481
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,079
"Get back there." I'm like,
"No, no, I'm not--
482
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,882
Please, I don't want to die."
483
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,618
He's like, "Sir, sir, calm down.
Calm down."
484
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,855
I go, "Okay. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry."
485
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,857
He's like,
"Sir, have you been drinking?"
486
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,893
I said, "No, sir,
I haven't been drinking."
487
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,395
He said, "Okay, calm down.
488
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,563
Do you know why
I pulled you over, sir?"
489
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:23,501
I said, "Is it because
I'm black?"
490
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,337
And now, I wasn't being an ass,
nor was I joking.
491
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,573
I'd just been informed that
as a black person in America,
492
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,909
if you drive a really nice car,
there's a good chance
493
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,978
you're gonna get pulled over
by the police.
494
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,546
Yeah, so in my world,
495
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,581
he was doing his job
as I had been told.
496
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,850
Yeah, I wasn't judging him.
497
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,585
In fact, I was--
I was a little flattered.
498
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,921
I was like, "Well, thank you
very much, Mr. Officer,
499
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:47,091
"for noticing this bad boy
right here.
500
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,526
That's right, 2015, baby."
501
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,327
I was really excited.
502
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,763
He was more freaked out, though,
'cause I-- 'cause I said to him,
503
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,565
I said, "Is it because
I'm black?"
504
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:58,235
And then he did this thing
that I've come to learn
505
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,204
is the reaction of white people
in America
506
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:04,875
who, when they hear information
they can't process fast enough,
507
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,678
have this-- this thing
where they smile on the outside,
508
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:11,682
but on the inside, it's almost
as if they're short-circuiting.
509
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,820
Like, he looks at me and he
goes, "I'm-- I'm sorry, what?"
510
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,621
I said, "Because I'm black,
that's why you pulled me over."
511
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,557
And he goes, "No.
Hey, no, no. Hey, we--
512
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:23,160
"No, that-- that is not-- that--
No. No. Hey, um, who--
513
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,930
I don't-- I don't-- No.
No, that is not why-- "
514
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,374
I felt so bad for him.
515
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,677
Yeah, I think we both
learned a lot that day.
516
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,746
The two of us grew
from that experience.
517
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,615
Yeah.
518
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,717
I was speeding,
that's why he pulled me over.
519
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,421
Yeah.
520
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,157
But he let me go.
521
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,025
Fear.
522
00:19:57,131 --> 00:20:01,980
I'm having a great I'm not getting
speeding fines, enjoying my time out here.
523
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
Some of you may or may not know,
I got a job.
524
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,835
This is fantastic for me.
525
00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:07,337
Thank you very much.
526
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:10,373
Thank you.
Thank you very much, yeah.
527
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:18,147
Changed my life completely.
528
00:20:18,249 --> 00:20:22,518
Come into the U.S., feel like
people are smiling at me more.
529
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,721
Might just be my imagination.
530
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,824
'Cause I noticed at the airports
when I've been flying in,
531
00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,526
probably a combination
of-- of my job
532
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:34,697
and the fact that
the Ebola crisis is now past.
533
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:36,699
That was probably the worst--
the worst time ever
534
00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:40,570
is flying into America
as an African
535
00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:43,272
during the Ebola crisis.
536
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,341
It was the craziest thing
I've ever seen in an airport.
537
00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:48,177
You'd walk in,
there'd be tension.
538
00:20:48,279 --> 00:20:51,514
They'd usher everybody
into a special quarantine area.
539
00:20:51,616 --> 00:20:53,950
Ask you questions, questions
that they don't normally ask.
540
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:55,318
The number one question they
always asked was,
541
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,353
"Sir, have you been in contact
with Ebola?"
542
00:20:57,455 --> 00:21:01,290
They'd always ask, "Sir, have
you been in contact with Ebola?"
543
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,593
I love-- I love the sincerity
of the question.
544
00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:07,730
Like there was a chance
my answer could be, "Yes.
545
00:21:07,832 --> 00:21:09,899
And next stop, Disney World."
546
00:21:14,305 --> 00:21:16,205
Like, what kind of person
do you think I am
547
00:21:16,307 --> 00:21:17,206
that I'd still be embarking
on a journey
548
00:21:17,308 --> 00:21:18,574
having knowingly been in contact
549
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,343
with the most deadly disease
on the planet?
550
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,311
Like, who do you think I am that
I'd be there like,
551
00:21:23,581 --> 00:21:25,148
"I don't care!
552
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,418
"Booking.com has
a zero refund policy.
553
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,353
"I'm going to Disney World
even if it kills me,
554
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,288
"Mickey Mouse,
and everybody else.
555
00:21:32,390 --> 00:21:35,024
I'm going!"
556
00:21:35,126 --> 00:21:37,460
"Have you been in contact
with Ebola?"
557
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:38,828
And they always say that
558
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,463
like Ebola was like
a distant relative.
559
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:42,465
I love the phrasing. "Have you
been in contact with Ebola?"
560
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,867
"Yeah, I spoke to him last week.
He's doing well.
561
00:21:44,969 --> 00:21:46,602
Thank you very much for asking."
562
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,938
Ebola made flying a nightmare.
563
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,008
'Cause Ebola was one of the
craziest things I've ever seen
564
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,510
in terms of the human condition,
565
00:21:54,612 --> 00:21:57,580
how quickly we're taught
to panic.
566
00:21:57,682 --> 00:22:00,049
You know, one minute
I'll be flying
567
00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:02,452
and I'll see people
of Middle Eastern descent
568
00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:05,254
getting pulled, you know,
random selections
569
00:22:05,356 --> 00:22:07,657
beeping through the machine.
570
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:09,092
And then Ebola happened,
571
00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:11,961
and all of a sudden
the focus shift--
572
00:22:12,063 --> 00:22:13,863
The focus shifted,
and now it was Africans
573
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,665
being pulled aside,
Africans waiting.
574
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:19,368
Middle Easterners were cruising
through security.
575
00:22:21,439 --> 00:22:23,706
And then almost as quickly
as it started,
576
00:22:23,808 --> 00:22:25,174
it flipped back overnight.
577
00:22:25,276 --> 00:22:27,543
And I'll never forget
when it happened.
578
00:22:27,645 --> 00:22:31,447
Right after the "Charlie Hebdo"
attack in Paris.
579
00:22:31,549 --> 00:22:33,883
That attack happened,
580
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,652
and almost the next day
581
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,188
Ebola wasn't a thing anymore.
582
00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:42,158
Middle Easterners were back
in the spotlight.
583
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,961
Normal service had been resumed.
584
00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:47,730
'Cause after "Charlie Hebdo,"
I would walk through airports
585
00:22:47,832 --> 00:22:49,332
and no one gave a damn.
586
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,868
They didn't care about me,
where I was from,
587
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:54,604
nor the bananas in my bag.
588
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:05,915
I just-- I just cruised
through security.
589
00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:09,519
"Charlie Hebdo."
590
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:10,954
"Terrorist attack in France."
591
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,956
Everyone led with it.
CNN, "Breaking news.
592
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,858
Terrorists have attacked
'Charlie Hebdo' headquarters."
593
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,893
BBC, "And in breaking news,
unconfirmed report says-- saying
594
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:18,428
12 people have been killed by
terrorists who've attacked"--
595
00:23:18,530 --> 00:23:19,462
Everyone said
they were terrorists.
596
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,131
It was weird to me
597
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,766
'cause we didn't know
that they were terrorists.
598
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,034
We just knew that
they were Middle Eastern.
599
00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,935
But immediately
we went to terrorist,
600
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:28,538
because if you're Middle Eastern
that's a terrorist.
601
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,407
That's the world we live in now.
602
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,108
Yeah, if you're Middle Eastern,
603
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,643
terrorism is your trademark.
604
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:36,313
It's so crazy how easy it is
to get people
605
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,281
to hate a group of people,
'cause that's what happened.
606
00:23:38,383 --> 00:23:40,183
"Charlie Hebdo," and then
everyone started saying things
607
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:41,785
about Muslims.
608
00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:44,788
"These damn Muslims. These
damn-- We gotta stop Islam.
609
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:47,257
"That's what we gotta do.
We gotta stop these Islamists.
610
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:48,792
"These Muslims.
611
00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:51,361
"Now, I'm not saying all Muslims
are terrorists,
612
00:23:51,463 --> 00:23:54,664
but all terrorists are Muslims."
613
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,533
It sounds really smart,
doesn't it?
614
00:23:56,635 --> 00:23:58,001
Sounds really smart,
but it's not.
615
00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,402
It's stupid
and it's hate speech.
616
00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:03,106
That's what it is. It really is.
617
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:12,615
Terrorism is not a race,
it's an act.
618
00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:14,384
It evolved over time.
619
00:24:14,486 --> 00:24:16,486
Yes, right now we're dealing
with extremism,
620
00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:18,555
Islamic terror in some parts
of the world.
621
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:20,223
But if you go to other parts
of the world
622
00:24:20,325 --> 00:24:21,524
and ask them
what a terrorist is,
623
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:23,626
they'll show you
a different face.
624
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:25,295
You go to England 20 years ago
625
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:26,996
and you said,
"What's a terrorist?"
626
00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:29,833
They'd show you
a drunk Irishman, right.
627
00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:33,136
I didn't need to say drunk.
I could have just said Irishman.
628
00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:37,040
There was a time when--
629
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,209
when Nelson Mandela
was labeled a terrorist.
630
00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:42,145
Like, terrorism is an act,
it's not a face.
631
00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:44,114
People say these things,
"Well, these Muslims,
632
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,216
"you gotta admit,
there's an awful lot of them.
633
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,618
Awful lot of them
doing the same thing."
634
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,489
I'm like, "Yeah, but you know
who's not terrorists?
635
00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,858
Most Muslims."
636
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,195
Yeah, most Muslims
are not terrorists.
637
00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:02,332
I'm not even Muslim,
but it gets to me,
638
00:25:02,434 --> 00:25:04,534
because I'm like most Muslim
people are not terrorists.
639
00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:07,170
You know how you know this?
Because we're still alive, yeah.
640
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,439
They've had ample opportunity
to take us out, people.
641
00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:11,941
There's a billion Muslim people
on the planet.
642
00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:13,410
They've had every chance.
643
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,245
They could have killed us
using those falafels
644
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,081
they sell us after midnight
when we come out of the club.
645
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:21,217
They could have wiped us all out
646
00:25:21,319 --> 00:25:24,888
with their killer kebabs.
647
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:26,656
They've had the means.
648
00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:29,259
It's so weird to see
our prejudices, you know,
649
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:31,261
the way people are labeled
in the media, in society.
650
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:33,029
It's not just Muslim people.
651
00:25:33,131 --> 00:25:34,564
You see it with black people
as well, you know.
652
00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:36,299
People saying these things like,
you know, I remember
653
00:25:36,401 --> 00:25:38,201
when the-- when the riots
were happening in Baltimore.
654
00:25:38,303 --> 00:25:39,803
People quickly jumped,
"These thugs.
655
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:42,372
"These are a bunch of thugs
running around. These thugs.
656
00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:44,007
"You know, I'm starting to think
that black people like crime.
657
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,442
"That's what I'm starting
to think.
658
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:46,609
"Is that the only way
they can deal with it?
659
00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:48,011
Black people like crime."
660
00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:51,381
No, no, black people
don't like crime,
661
00:25:51,483 --> 00:25:53,616
because you know
who's not a criminal?
662
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:55,018
Most black people.
663
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:57,754
Yeah, most black people
are not criminals.
664
00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:02,692
Black people hate crime
just like everybody else.
665
00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,928
It's not like black people
are cheering crime on.
666
00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:06,629
It's not like they're watching
a black guy do some ****.
667
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:09,132
Like, "Yeah, Darnell,
you steal that ****, man.
668
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,501
You steal that ****. Yeah!"
No.
669
00:26:11,603 --> 00:26:13,570
When black people see
a black person doing a crime,
670
00:26:13,672 --> 00:26:16,105
they're also looking
at the person like,
671
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:19,008
"That nigger crazy!"
672
00:26:19,110 --> 00:26:20,510
You gotta fight the act,
not the face,
673
00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:22,545
not a face that you put the--
It's not the--
674
00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:25,482
It's not the same thing,
and everybody has it, you know.
675
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,283
If you're Middle Eastern
and you do something,
676
00:26:27,385 --> 00:26:29,419
if you're a black person--
black person gets shot
677
00:26:29,521 --> 00:26:31,187
in a bad neighborhood, the first
story they always lead with--
678
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:32,922
Always lead with the same thing.
679
00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:36,226
"And today in Compton, a man was
shot in what is suspected
680
00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:38,094
to be gang-related violence."
681
00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:39,629
It's always
gang-related violence.
682
00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:41,264
It never says anything else.
They were just two guys.
683
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:42,799
Gang-related,
probably gang-related.
684
00:26:42,901 --> 00:26:45,502
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, because, you know,
685
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:49,706
in this area there's...
hip-hop."
686
00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:51,241
Why is it gang-related?
It's always gang--
687
00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:52,609
It doesn't matter who it is.
688
00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:54,310
Could be two kids,
someone got shot,
689
00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,479
"A three-year-old was shot today
by a four-year-old
690
00:26:56,581 --> 00:26:59,516
in what is suspected to be
gang-related violence."
691
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,918
"But they're kids."
"Yeah, they recruit very young."
692
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,786
"It wasn't a mistake?"
"No, it's not a mistake.
693
00:27:03,889 --> 00:27:05,388
It's never a mistake."
694
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:07,724
But if it's in a rich
neighborhood, the story changes,
695
00:27:07,826 --> 00:27:09,125
'cause you'll never hear them
reporting the same thing
696
00:27:09,227 --> 00:27:10,560
about the Hamptons.
697
00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:12,529
"And today in the Hamptons,
a man was shot
698
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:14,764
"in what is suspected to be
gang-related violence.
699
00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:16,599
"The Burberry gang have been
known to operate
700
00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:18,768
around these parts
and recently"--
701
00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:20,503
They never say those things.
702
00:27:20,605 --> 00:27:22,505
In fact, you're more likely
to see the police commissioner
703
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:24,908
going, "A lot-- We've just
conducted an investigation.
704
00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:29,612
"We found out that a firearm was
discharged earlier today
705
00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:34,250
"and the bullet left
the-- the weapon...
706
00:27:34,352 --> 00:27:38,254
"penetrating a victim,
and we're gonna investigate
707
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,590
whether-- whether
it was misfired or"--
708
00:27:40,692 --> 00:27:42,859
"I'm sorry, did you say--
Did someone shoot the gun?"
709
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:45,628
"Well, we're not-- we're not
ruling anything out right now,
710
00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:48,965
"but-- but we're checking to see
if there was a mechanism failure
711
00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:50,767
or"--
"What about the person?"
712
00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:52,735
"Well, we-- we don't think that
this was intentional.
713
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:54,571
We don't"--
"So wait, we live in a world
714
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,439
"where you investigate a gun
before you investigate
715
00:27:56,541 --> 00:27:58,074
a rich white man,
is that what you're saying?"
716
00:27:58,176 --> 00:28:00,677
"No, no, no. No, that--
That's not what we're saying.
717
00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:02,278
"But I mean, you must remember,
the gun is black,
718
00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:03,947
"but that's not the point.
719
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,382
The point is"--
720
00:28:10,488 --> 00:28:12,055
It's so weird how our prejudices
721
00:28:12,157 --> 00:28:13,623
have given everyone their lane.
722
00:28:13,725 --> 00:28:16,426
Middle Easterner does something,
they're a terrorist.
723
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:18,828
Black person does something,
they're gang-related,
724
00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:20,463
they're a thug.
725
00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:22,765
But if a white guy walks into a
church killing nine people dead,
726
00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:24,267
what do they lead with
on the news?
727
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:27,136
"And today
in an isolated incident
728
00:28:27,238 --> 00:28:28,838
"a lone gunman
walked into a church,
729
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:30,640
opening fire
and killing nine people."
730
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:32,442
It's always a lone gunman, yeah.
731
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:35,211
"A lone gunman with no ties
to society whatsoever."
732
00:28:35,313 --> 00:28:37,013
They always separate him
as quickly as possible.
733
00:28:37,115 --> 00:28:38,481
I love how they do that.
734
00:28:38,583 --> 00:28:41,084
"He kept to himself
and was notoriously unfriendly.
735
00:28:41,186 --> 00:28:43,987
He had no friends whatsoever."
736
00:28:44,089 --> 00:28:46,022
No, no friends, really?
No, no friends?
737
00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:48,758
Not even one?
Not even one?
738
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:54,897
No friends?
739
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,099
I--
740
00:28:56,201 --> 00:28:57,667
Not even on Facebook?
741
00:28:57,769 --> 00:28:59,469
No, everyone has friends
on Facebook, come on.
742
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,204
You're telling me
the guy had no friends.
743
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:03,006
It's almost like as the shooting
happens, everyone's like,
744
00:29:03,108 --> 00:29:04,807
"What? Dillon? Unfriend,
unfriend, unfriend, unfriend,
745
00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:08,244
unfriend, unfriend, unfriend,
unfriend, unfriend."
746
00:29:08,346 --> 00:29:10,847
It's the weirdest thing ever.
747
00:29:10,949 --> 00:29:15,318
And the first thing they always
go to is mental instability.
748
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,886
That's what they go to,
the first thing.
749
00:29:16,988 --> 00:29:18,621
They never go with terrorism.
750
00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:20,423
"What happened? Are we-- are we
saying this was terrorism?"
751
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,592
"Whoa, wait. We're not gonna
jump to that conclusion.
752
00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,327
"This was a young man who was
really mentally--
753
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:28,031
He was unstable.
He was a troubled young man."
754
00:29:28,133 --> 00:29:30,800
But he was a terrorist 'cause he
committed a terrorist act.
755
00:29:30,902 --> 00:29:32,735
He walked into a building,
shot a bunch of people
756
00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:34,837
to try to spread a message
of hatred, right.
757
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:38,941
He was trying to pass something.
He was trying to do something.
758
00:29:39,044 --> 00:29:40,910
That's an act of terror.
759
00:29:41,012 --> 00:29:44,313
"Now, well-- well, look.
No, not necessarily.
760
00:29:44,416 --> 00:29:47,016
He was a troubled young man."
761
00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:49,652
"Yes, and a terrorist."
762
00:29:49,754 --> 00:29:51,354
"Yeah, but he was
mentally unstable."
763
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:53,389
"Just like terrorists."
764
00:29:53,491 --> 00:29:55,692
That's exactly
what a terrorist is.
765
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,061
There's no normal reason
to blow yourself up.
766
00:29:58,163 --> 00:30:01,197
That is ridiculous as ****.
767
00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:02,999
You're crazy.
768
00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:07,503
You're crazy,
769
00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:09,972
but you're still a terrorist.
770
00:30:10,075 --> 00:30:11,641
It's weird. It's almost like
without realizing it,
771
00:30:11,743 --> 00:30:12,875
what they're saying
on the news is,
772
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,278
"You know, this young white man
773
00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,647
"is clearly struggling
with something.
774
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:22,218
"I mean, because why would you
forgo all that privilege?
775
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,387
Why would you"--
776
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,955
"I mean,
he was a young white man.
777
00:30:26,057 --> 00:30:27,957
"Why would you throw that
all away by--
778
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:31,127
"I mean, if he was a minority,
I get it, 'cause that **** sucks.
779
00:30:31,229 --> 00:30:34,997
But I mean, why would you
throw it-- He must be crazy."
780
00:30:37,035 --> 00:30:39,135
This is madness.
I refuse to be part of this.
781
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:42,238
I refuse to live in a world
who will deny white people,
782
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:44,874
the moniker of terrorist.
783
00:30:44,976 --> 00:30:47,376
That's racism, people,
that's what that is.
784
00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:49,579
If a white man, through hard
work and determination,
785
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:50,813
commits an act of terror,
786
00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:52,782
he deserves to be called
a terrorist.
787
00:30:52,884 --> 00:30:54,383
He worked for it, damn it.
You don't deprive him of that
788
00:30:54,486 --> 00:30:56,786
because of the color
of his skin.
789
00:30:56,888 --> 00:30:59,455
You give it to him
and you put him up there.
790
00:30:59,557 --> 00:31:02,759
Bin Waleed and Charlie.
791
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,060
It's terrorism.
792
00:31:07,365 --> 00:31:08,898
We all have our prejud It's not like
I-- You know, I try to be better.
793
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,900
I really do.
I realize every now and again
794
00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:14,303
I do things that I'm not
particularly proud of, you know.
795
00:31:14,405 --> 00:31:17,807
Like, for instance,
whenever I fly into America,
796
00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:20,309
if I've been out of the country
and flying back into America,
797
00:31:20,411 --> 00:31:23,880
I always try to fly
on Middle Eastern airlines
798
00:31:23,982 --> 00:31:27,717
specifically.
799
00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:31,287
So I'll fly on Emirates or Qatar
or Etihad or one of those.
800
00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:32,522
And the reason I do this
801
00:31:32,624 --> 00:31:37,493
is because I feel
there's less chance...
802
00:31:39,430 --> 00:31:41,831
That somebody--
803
00:31:50,175 --> 00:31:52,041
That some-- And this may sound a
little bit racist,
804
00:31:52,143 --> 00:31:54,043
You have every right
to be offended, you really--
805
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:55,745
But I feel like there's less
chance that somebody
806
00:31:55,847 --> 00:32:00,316
will attack one of those planes,
807
00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:02,051
for-- for a few reasons.
808
00:32:02,153 --> 00:32:04,086
Number one, because they're
not proving a point.
809
00:32:04,189 --> 00:32:06,522
The plane's already
Muslim owned, Muslim run.
810
00:32:06,624 --> 00:32:07,957
They're not converting anybody.
811
00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:10,860
And secondly,
and more importantly on my side,
812
00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:12,195
I think there's a small chance
813
00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:14,163
somebody could defuse
the situation.
814
00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:16,032
Someone could talk them down
815
00:32:16,134 --> 00:32:18,000
just because they speak
the same language, yeah.
816
00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:19,802
That's-- that's half of terror
for me
817
00:32:19,904 --> 00:32:21,971
is the fact that you don't
understand what the person says.
818
00:32:22,073 --> 00:32:23,472
The guy's speaking Arabic.
819
00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:26,442
Arabic, it puts fear
in the hearts of all men.
820
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,214
You never think good things
when you hear Arabic.
821
00:32:31,316 --> 00:32:33,683
Yeah, we watch-- we watch
too many movies and TV shows.
822
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:34,984
Like, you-- whenever
you hear Arabic,
823
00:32:35,086 --> 00:32:36,519
then some bad **** happens
immediately.
824
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:38,521
That's always what happens.
825
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:41,991
It's never something cool
or sexy.
826
00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:45,728
It's never like,
827
00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:49,365
It's never that.
828
00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:51,400
And so it makes you think, it
makes you think a certain way.
829
00:32:51,502 --> 00:32:53,536
I know-- I know
I'm not any different.
830
00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:57,206
I was on a flight,
my first Middle Eastern flight,
831
00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:59,775
flying on an Emirates plane,
832
00:32:59,878 --> 00:33:02,578
and this man emerged
from the galley...
833
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,480
he had a long beard
and he was carrying a box,
834
00:33:04,582 --> 00:33:05,781
and he just went off,
he was like,
835
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,754
And I was like, "Aah!"
836
00:33:17,896 --> 00:33:21,864
Chicken, please.
837
00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:24,867
Chicken.
838
00:33:24,969 --> 00:33:27,203
Sorry, I--
839
00:33:27,305 --> 00:33:29,305
I get really excited
with chicken.
840
00:33:29,407 --> 00:33:32,174
I'm-- I'm sorry for that.
841
00:33:32,277 --> 00:33:34,143
Sorry.
842
00:33:34,245 --> 00:33:37,113
"That, my friend, excited?
You looked petrified."
843
00:33:37,215 --> 00:33:40,783
I said, "I am, of the flavor.
844
00:33:40,885 --> 00:33:42,785
"Chicken, wah!
845
00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:44,520
I love chicken.
I love chicken so much."
846
00:33:44,622 --> 00:33:48,824
He's like, "Is that the--
is that the black thing?"
847
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:51,294
I said, "That's racist."
848
00:33:56,260 --> 00:33:58,093
It's just--
it's just a little thing
849
00:33:58,195 --> 00:33:59,761
that makes me think
there's a chance
850
00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:01,863
that if someone understands
the language
851
00:34:01,966 --> 00:34:03,999
they may be able
to talk the guy down.
852
00:34:04,101 --> 00:34:06,335
You-- there could be. There could
be a terrorist on the plane.
853
00:34:06,437 --> 00:34:08,103
Guy with a suicide vest.
854
00:34:08,205 --> 00:34:11,440
We'll be flying
40,000 feet in the sky.
855
00:34:11,542 --> 00:34:13,408
Man jumps off, losing his head.
856
00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:17,813
There he is...
857
00:34:17,915 --> 00:34:20,916
And just maybe, maybe some guy
will be opposite him like,
858
00:34:21,018 --> 00:34:23,118
"Hey!
859
00:34:23,220 --> 00:34:25,387
What are you doing?"
860
00:34:25,489 --> 00:34:28,457
"I'm going to blow up this plane
to show everybody
861
00:34:28,559 --> 00:34:33,028
that Allah is great!"
862
00:34:33,130 --> 00:34:35,731
"Yeah, but...
863
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:37,933
we know this."
864
00:34:40,838 --> 00:34:44,306
"Everybody here knows this.
So what are you doing?"
865
00:34:44,408 --> 00:34:46,608
"I wanted to show all of you
the power of-- "
866
00:34:46,710 --> 00:34:48,276
"What are you showing us
if we already know, huh?
867
00:34:48,379 --> 00:34:50,178
"What are you showing us?
Are you saying
868
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,014
"we are not good Muslims, is
that what you are saying, huh?
869
00:34:52,116 --> 00:34:53,849
"Are you saying we do not know
the power of Allah?
870
00:34:53,951 --> 00:34:55,484
"Is that what you are saying?
871
00:34:55,586 --> 00:34:57,285
You are saying we are bad
Muslims. What are you saying?"
872
00:34:57,388 --> 00:34:58,787
"No, my friend, please, I was
not trying to offend you.
873
00:34:58,889 --> 00:34:59,988
"I was just trying to kill you.
874
00:35:00,090 --> 00:35:01,023
Listen to what I
wanted to show you."
875
00:35:01,125 --> 00:35:02,624
"What are you showing me, huh?
876
00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:04,526
"Are you saying I do not pray,
is that what you are saying?
877
00:35:04,628 --> 00:35:06,028
"You're a better Muslim than me?
878
00:35:06,130 --> 00:35:07,562
"You think I'm not good Muslim
just because
879
00:35:07,665 --> 00:35:09,264
"I'm watching" Cloudy with
a Chance of Meatballs,
880
00:35:09,366 --> 00:35:11,299
is that what you think, huh?
What are you saying?"
881
00:35:11,402 --> 00:35:13,135
"No, I'm not saying that.
I wanted to-- "
882
00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:15,470
"What are you show-- You show
nothing. You make us look bad.
883
00:35:15,572 --> 00:35:17,939
"Why don't you preach? Why
don't you talk to people, huh?
884
00:35:18,042 --> 00:35:19,908
"This is not Islam. What are you
doing with your stupid dress?
885
00:35:20,010 --> 00:35:23,412
Blah blah blah, blah blah blah.
You make us all look bad."
886
00:35:23,514 --> 00:35:25,947
"No, no, I was not-- "
"No, you're not trying nothing.
887
00:35:26,050 --> 00:35:27,516
"No, you even got
your vest backward.
888
00:35:27,618 --> 00:35:29,918
You don't even know
what you are doing here."
889
00:35:30,020 --> 00:35:32,421
"Sorry, it's my first time.
I never done this before."
890
00:35:32,523 --> 00:35:36,191
"Yeah, yes, story, story. Sit
down, shut up, eat something."
891
00:35:36,293 --> 00:35:37,893
"I don't know if I can-- "
"No, it's all challah.
892
00:35:37,995 --> 00:35:39,061
"You can eat it.
Don't worry, you can eat it.
893
00:35:39,163 --> 00:35:41,596
"You can eat it.
894
00:35:41,699 --> 00:35:43,198
Stupid."
895
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:46,802
There's just a chance
that that could happen.
896
00:35:46,904 --> 00:35:50,272
There's a small chance
that could happen.
897
00:35:50,374 --> 00:35:52,307
And that's why I do it.
898
00:35:56,847 --> 00:35:58,113
re.
899
00:35:58,215 --> 00:35:59,381
Thank you very much
for coming out.
900
00:35:59,483 --> 00:36:00,982
Thank you. I appreciate it.
901
00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:08,023
I really appreciate it.
902
00:36:08,125 --> 00:36:10,926
It means the world to me.
903
00:36:11,028 --> 00:36:12,861
And I mean that, literally.
904
00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:14,529
But I would-- I probably never
would have traveled the world
905
00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:16,231
were it not for stand-up comedy,
you know.
906
00:36:16,333 --> 00:36:17,299
I'm the first person
in my family
907
00:36:17,401 --> 00:36:18,967
to ever board an airplane.
908
00:36:19,069 --> 00:36:23,038
First person in my family to
ever get kicked off an airplane.
909
00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:25,540
I would have never-- I would have
never learned about America.
910
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:27,843
I would have never come out to
places like Washington, D.C.
911
00:36:27,945 --> 00:36:29,211
I would have never learned
to travel
912
00:36:29,313 --> 00:36:30,545
on the other side of the road.
913
00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:31,980
I would have never learned about
charming racism
914
00:36:32,082 --> 00:36:34,916
had I not come to
this beautiful country, yeah.
915
00:36:35,018 --> 00:36:37,586
Probably something
that changed my life forever,
916
00:36:37,688 --> 00:36:40,522
charming racism.
917
00:36:40,624 --> 00:36:43,058
Classic American
charming racism.
918
00:36:45,095 --> 00:36:46,661
I never knew there was
such a thing, growing up.
919
00:36:46,764 --> 00:36:48,497
And I thought
I knew all about racism.
920
00:36:48,599 --> 00:36:50,565
I was, you know,
coming from the home
921
00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:53,068
of some of the best racism
in the world.
922
00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:55,937
No, and I don't mean to brag,
but South Africa is, by far--
923
00:36:56,039 --> 00:36:59,107
Like-- like we've got-- we've got
top quality racism out there.
924
00:36:59,209 --> 00:37:00,408
Like, it's handcrafted.
925
00:37:00,511 --> 00:37:01,843
You don't get racism like that
anymore.
926
00:37:01,945 --> 00:37:03,445
Like, I've seen racism
all over the world.
927
00:37:03,547 --> 00:37:04,513
To be honest,
the standards have dropped.
928
00:37:04,615 --> 00:37:06,047
It's not what it used to be.
929
00:37:06,150 --> 00:37:07,816
Like, I'm talking about quality
racism, you know.
930
00:37:07,918 --> 00:37:09,117
Now, it's cheap
and mass-produced,
931
00:37:09,219 --> 00:37:10,552
probably made in China now.
932
00:37:10,654 --> 00:37:15,457
I'm talking about real racism.
933
00:37:15,559 --> 00:37:17,192
I discovered charming racism
934
00:37:17,294 --> 00:37:19,194
in a place called
Lexington, Kentucky.
935
00:37:21,298 --> 00:37:23,598
I don't know if you've ever
been, but you really need to go.
936
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:25,967
It's a beautiful place.
937
00:37:26,069 --> 00:37:29,404
Old-school charming racism
with a smile
938
00:37:29,506 --> 00:37:31,573
and the tip of a hat.
939
00:37:31,675 --> 00:37:34,442
Everyone in Lexington had
this vibe, this smile,
940
00:37:34,545 --> 00:37:36,678
the charm, the drawl--
The Southern drawl,
941
00:37:36,780 --> 00:37:38,713
I love it so much, the way
they would speak out there.
942
00:37:38,816 --> 00:37:41,283
The grammar's horrible,
but it's still beautiful.
943
00:37:41,385 --> 00:37:43,318
Well, 'cause the sentences
don't really make sense.
944
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:45,153
They'd be like, "Y'all ain't
never done gone see none
945
00:37:45,255 --> 00:37:47,589
of them out"-- and it's like,
that's-- that's--
946
00:37:47,691 --> 00:37:50,058
That's not English.
Your autocorrect is broken.
947
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,594
I don't know what that is,
but it's-- but it's beautiful.
948
00:37:52,696 --> 00:37:54,129
You know, in fact,
when they speak really fast,
949
00:37:54,231 --> 00:37:55,430
sometimes it sounds like
somebody's playing a banjo
950
00:37:55,532 --> 00:37:56,865
inside their mouths, that's--
951
00:37:56,967 --> 00:37:58,900
That's what it sounds like
to me.
952
00:37:59,002 --> 00:38:01,770
I asked two men for directions,
and this-- They started arguing.
953
00:38:01,872 --> 00:38:03,772
It was the most beautiful sound
I've ever heard in my life.
954
00:38:03,874 --> 00:38:05,674
The guy was like,
"Where you goin', boy?"
955
00:38:05,776 --> 00:38:07,876
I said, "I'm going to the-- to
the theater. Can you direct me?"
956
00:38:07,978 --> 00:38:10,345
He said, "Y'all get on the road.
957
00:38:10,447 --> 00:38:12,113
that way."
958
00:38:12,216 --> 00:38:15,550
The friend was like,
"No,."
959
00:38:21,024 --> 00:38:22,057
It was almost--
960
00:38:29,633 --> 00:38:32,200
It sounded like someone started
a Mumford and Sons concert
961
00:38:32,302 --> 00:38:35,103
in their mouth, 'cause one
minute they were talking
962
00:38:35,205 --> 00:38:36,872
and then they got into it
and the guy was like,
963
00:38:50,721 --> 00:38:53,221
♪ that way ♪
964
00:39:02,699 --> 00:39:04,432
Nigger.
965
00:39:10,374 --> 00:39:12,574
The reason I'll never forget
Lexington, though,
966
00:39:12,676 --> 00:39:15,410
is because I met a woman
out there.
967
00:39:15,512 --> 00:39:17,612
A gorgeous, gorgeous woman.
968
00:39:17,714 --> 00:39:19,648
I'll never forget her
till the day I die.
969
00:39:19,750 --> 00:39:21,516
She walks into the lobby
of the theater
970
00:39:21,618 --> 00:39:23,485
where I was standing
with some friends,
971
00:39:23,587 --> 00:39:26,221
and she was absolutely stunning.
972
00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:29,791
A classic Southern belle.
973
00:39:29,893 --> 00:39:32,861
She had long, big blond hair,
974
00:39:32,963 --> 00:39:34,863
giant boobs.
975
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,800
She strutted her stuff
into the lobby,
976
00:39:38,902 --> 00:39:42,671
pushing people out of the way.
977
00:39:42,773 --> 00:39:44,606
She made her way straight
for me, straight for me.
978
00:39:44,708 --> 00:39:46,007
Came to me, pointed me
in the face, and she was like,
979
00:39:46,109 --> 00:39:47,842
"Excuse me, baby.
Excuse me, honey.
980
00:39:47,945 --> 00:39:50,612
May I chat to you for a moment,
please?"
981
00:39:50,714 --> 00:39:53,014
I said, "Yes, of course.
Hi, hi. How are you?
982
00:39:53,116 --> 00:39:54,482
How are you, ma'am?"
983
00:39:54,584 --> 00:39:56,785
She said, "Honey,
I just want to let you know
984
00:39:56,887 --> 00:40:00,822
"that you are by far
the funniest
985
00:40:00,924 --> 00:40:04,326
and handsomest nigger
I done ever seen!"
986
00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:09,965
And I was like, "What?"
987
00:40:10,067 --> 00:40:12,834
I was so shocked.
988
00:40:12,936 --> 00:40:16,838
'Cause isn't it "most handsome,"
not "handsomest"?
989
00:40:18,976 --> 00:40:22,577
Their grammar
is just crazy, man.
990
00:40:22,679 --> 00:40:24,579
No, you guys have been
too much fun.
991
00:40:24,681 --> 00:40:26,982
Thank you so much
for coming out tonight.
992
00:40:27,084 --> 00:40:30,752
I had a great time with you.
Thank you very much.