1
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:35,812
Tuesday, January 1st, 1856.

2
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,412
Fair and very cold.

3
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,247
This morning,

4
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,171
ice in our bedroom
for the first time all winter.

5
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,566
The water froze on the potatoes

6
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,205
as soon as they were washed.

7
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,503
With little pride, and less hope,

8
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,096
we begin the new year.

9
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,123
On the porch after sunup,

10
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,138
I could hear the low chirping
of sparrows

11
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,894
in the hedgerows that are
now buried in the snow.

12
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,980
Dyer has maintained
that with good health,

13
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,806
and a level head,

14
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,392
there is always
an excellent chance

15
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,068
for a farmer willing to work.

16
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,082
He feels he can never fully
rid himself of his burdens.

17
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:02,215
And I'm certain that because
his mind is in such a bad state,

18
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,088
it affects his whole system.

19
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,100
He told me this morning

20
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:36,412
that contentment was like
a friend he never gets to see.

21
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,206
You're late with the milking.

22
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,503
She wasn't suffering.

23
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,085
And you?

24
00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,607
Since our acquisition of this farm,

25
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:04,152
my husband had kept a ledger
to help him see the year whole.

26
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,068
This way he knows what each crop

27
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,196
and field pays from year to year.

28
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,530
And dyer has asked me
to keep a diary of matters

29
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,036
that might otherwise
go overlooked...

30
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:23,126
From tools lent out
to bills outstanding.

31
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,629
That I have done.

32
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,547
But there would be no record
in these dull and simple pages

33
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,473
of the most passionate circumstances

34
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,051
of our seasons past.

35
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,814
No record of our emotions or fears.

36
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,480
Our greatest joys.

37
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,441
Our most piercing sorrows.

38
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,908
With our child,

39
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,335
it was as if I'd found my bearings.

40
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,837
But I too rarely told her
that she was our treasure.

41
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,468
Would you like to try?

42
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,595
Like this, papa?

43
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:19,974
That's it.

44
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,891
She often seemed
separate from us,

45
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,524
as if she was working at
just fitting in where she could.

46
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,732
They saw his brothers and sisters

47
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,783
and they were
the mouse's family...

48
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,139
There is something so affecting

49
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,532
about mute and motionless grief and illness

50
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,117
in a child so young.

51
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,374
She put her arms around me
and said nothing else.

52
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,089
But it felt like
we were speaking.

53
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,155
I have become my grief.

54
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,080
I have become my grief.

55
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,632
"Welcome sweet day of rest”,

56
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,385
says the hymn.

57
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:48,391
And Sunday is most welcome
for its few hours of quiet ease.

58
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,726
As for me.

59
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,395
I no longer attend.

60
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,611
After the calamity of Nellie's loss,

61
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,819
what calm I enjoy

62
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,528
does not derive from the notion
of a better world to come.

63
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,332
I want to purchase an atlas.

64
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,865
- It could be a bother.
- No, no. No bother.

65
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:25,767
Who is that?

66
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,766
His name is Finney.

67
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,638
- His wife tallie.
- Hyah!

68
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:32,877
I met them at the feed store.

69
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,516
They seem to keep to themselves.

70
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,736
They're renting the zebrun farm.

71
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,210
Monday, February 4th.

72
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,545
Why is ink like fire?

73
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,715
Because it is a good servant,

74
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,262
and a hard master.

75
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,349
Did you say something?

76
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,562
I want to purchase an atlas.

77
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,526
I suppose there are more
frivolous purchases

78
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:27,656
one could make.

79
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,785
I've saved 90 cents of my own.

80
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,121
I can't imagine a better way
to spend it.

81
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,876
Could buy your husband a gift.

82
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,053
What better gift could I give him

83
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,260
than a wife
who is no longer a dullard?

84
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,545
My self-education

85
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,606
seems the only way
to keep my unhappiness

86
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,108
from overwhelming me.

87
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,848
Good afternoon.

88
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,858
I've been using a broom
on my porch.

89
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,060
The snow is so dry.

90
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,075
I'm tallie.

91
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,113
Abigail.

92
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,122
I hope I'm not intruding.

93
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,751
No.

94
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,247
I just, I needed to get away
for the day.

95
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,044
The farm is a slaughterhouse
right now.

96
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,667
My husband is killing his hogs.

97
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,261
Would you like to come in?

98
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,464
Yes, I'd love that.

99
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,853
Or we could just stay
out on the porch, shivering.

100
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,172
I know it's the dullest
of all things

101
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,596
to have an ignorant neighbor
come by

102
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,317
and spoil a Sunday afternoon.

103
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,148
Oh, no,
you're the most welcome here.

104
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,529
But I know the feeling.

105
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,362
Sometimes, I imagine during
the widow weldon's visits

106
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:19,119
that I've been plunged up to
my eyes in a vat of the prosaic.

107
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,700
Oh, widow weldon!

108
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,456
She got going on the county
Levy once...

109
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,129
She saw I had noticed her hair,

110
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,798
and admitted she had been vain
about it as a girl.

111
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,718
She said that back then,
she'd worn it longer

112
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,672
and plaited in a bun
at the back of her head.

113
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:39,094
In the winter sun
through the window,

114
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,975
her skin had an underflush
of Rose and Violet

115
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,809
which so disconcerted me
that I had to look away.

116
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,818
As always,

117
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,613
when it came to speaking

118
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,538
and attempting to engage
another's affections,

119
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:02,333
circumstances doomed me
to striving and anxiety.

120
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:08,248
From my earliest youth,
I was like a pot-bound root,

121
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,549
all curled in upon itself.

122
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,797
I hope I'm not keeping you
from something.

123
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:13,889
No.

124
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,007
I'm glad you've come.

125
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,603
Finney saw your husband
at the cooperage.

126
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,181
He mentioned his new method
for farrowing his piglets.

127
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,314
With some asperity?

128
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,817
My husband mentions everything
with some asperity.

129
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,991
I told him that once,

130
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,118
and...

131
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,663
He observed in response that
it seemed to be quite a favor

132
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,286
to get a kind word from me.

133
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,146
And I told him that if he
was married to himself,

134
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,161
he'd soon find out
what a favor it was.

135
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,359
My mother always said
that having children

136
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,748
would resolve that dilemma.

137
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,714
My mother made the same claim.

138
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:57,467
And yet...

139
00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,674
Here we are...

140
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,555
Both childless.

141
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,312
My daughter, Nellie,
would have been five today.

142
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,316
Oh.

143
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,613
How did she pass?

144
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,284
Diphtheria.

145
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,578
Last September.

146
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,782
I'm so sorry.

147
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:32,919
- Hello.
- Oh.

148
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,511
Good afternoon.

149
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,137
I'm dyer.

150
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,515
Tallie.

151
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,266
Oh, it's late, isn't it?
I should be getting on.

152
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,686
Don't go on my account.

153
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,812
Oh, no.

154
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,862
That's a nice wrap you have.

155
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,655
Thank you.

156
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,824
I never receive compliments
for my clothes.

157
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,831
I'm so glad you've come.

158
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,454
Meeting you has made my day.

159
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,129
It has?

160
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,795
Well...

161
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,874
How pleasant and uncommon
it is to make someone's day.

162
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,178
Thursday, February 14th.

163
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,303
Dyer's third night
with the fever.

164
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,311
Drink this.

165
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,532
I plan on getting sick
more often.

166
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,993
My wife smiles at me.

167
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,717
Promise me you're not gonna die.

168
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,476
That would be the opposite
of my intention.

169
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,297
I've restored him somewhat

170
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,936
with an enema of molasses,

171
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,646
warm water and lard.

172
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:23,242
Also a drop of turpentine
next to his nose.

173
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:30,166
I spent the day reconsidering
my conversation with tallie.

174
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,833
We compared childhood beds...

175
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,039
Mine in which the straw

176
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:39,170
was always breaking up
and thinning out.

177
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,469
And hers, which was as hard,
she claimed,

178
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,171
as the pharaoh's heart.

179
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,018
I should be taking care of you.

180
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,524
I agree.

181
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:04,321
Her manner is sweet
and calm and gracious.

182
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,243
And yet her spirits
seem to quicken

183
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:09,117
at the prospect of
further conversation with me.

184
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,952
I find that everything
I wish to tell her

185
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,833
loses its eloquence
in her presence.

186
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,084
So how did you come
to meet dyer?

187
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,010
He was the oldest son
of a neighbor.

188
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,838
He helped out
on my father's farm.

189
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,092
And was he instantly smitten
by you?

190
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,719
He was, wasn't he?

191
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,554
He was instantly smitten by you.

192
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:42,113
He admired what he viewed
as my practical good sense.

193
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:45,691
You don't countenance words
like "smitten", do you?

194
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,868
I suspect I use
all the same words you do.

195
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,071
I suspect you don't.

196
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,827
In speech,
yes, because you're shy.

197
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,917
But I bet you're more
accomplished in your writing.

198
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,383
Thank you.

199
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,053
Your good sense, that's all
your husband was smitten with?

200
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,845
And my efficient habits.

201
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,056
That's all?

202
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,062
My handy ways.

203
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,192
Dyer likes mechanical things.

204
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,218
I have no doubt he would've
been happier

205
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,698
had he been allowed to pursue

206
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,573
the natural scientific bent
of his mind.

207
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,824
Circumstances forced him
into farming.

208
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,833
And despite all of that,
his heart compelled him to you?

209
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,046
Well...

210
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,092
You would have to ask him
about that.

211
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,965
And what would you say
if I asked you?

212
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,724
I suppose that as a suitor,
he was...

213
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,773
Not generous, but he was just.

214
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,981
And that he was affectionate,
if not constant.

215
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,079
I wasn't sure
of his suitability.

216
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:24,957
But my family felt
that more improving

217
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:26,132
might be in the offing.

218
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,180
After all, it is a long Lane
that has no turning.

219
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,354
You both have much
to be thankful for.

220
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,396
We do.

221
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:03,916
It's still too soon.

222
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,511
Sorry.

223
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:11,383
Tuesday, February 19th.

224
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:23,516
My reluctance seems
to have become his shame.

225
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:27,479
His nighttime pleasures,
which were never numerous,

226
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:30,189
have curtailed even more.

227
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:34,027
And I have so far refused
to engage his persistence

228
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,077
on the subject of another child.

229
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:11,824
Evening.

230
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,483
This is my husband Finney.

231
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:15,618
And you already know dyer.

232
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:16,663
Our paths have crossed.

233
00:24:16,747 --> 00:24:19,159
And this is the Abigail
that I've been mentioning.

234
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,311
My wife talks about you as
if you're all about the house,

235
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,604
and everything
reminds her of you.

236
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,586
Oh, well, it's all I can do
but sit cross-legged and morose

237
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:26,708
whenever she's away.

238
00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:30,253
- Come in.
- Thank you.

239
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:33,051
The rain so heavy
that it broke down our mill.

240
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,469
Did you miss me?

241
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:40,805
Yes.

242
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,432
You look different.

243
00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:45,810
No...

244
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:50,527
Finney seems agreeable.

245
00:24:53,409 --> 00:24:55,149
Yes, he is,
when he chooses to be.

246
00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,752
I guess I'm
supposed to offer a toast.

247
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,279
But when it comes
to the social graces,

248
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:16,045
I'm about as smooth as coming
down a rocky hill in the dark.

249
00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,721
What my husband means
is he's so happy

250
00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:18,923
to finally get together,

251
00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:20,303
and to see dyer again.

252
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:24,727
Cheers.

253
00:25:26,817 --> 00:25:28,273
Part of what I value
about my wife

254
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,851
is how she taught me to
associate with my fellow beings.

255
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:37,984
Finney, that's a handsome
neck tie you've chosen.

256
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:39,700
Thank you.

257
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:40,868
But with my neck,

258
00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:43,572
my head sticks out like a
chicken in a poultry wagon.

259
00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:45,032
Your tart was
wonderfully savory.

260
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:46,617
Oh, did you like it?
I'm so glad.

261
00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:47,939
I was worried I wouldn't
have enough eggs

262
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:50,295
- because we had an accident.
- Oh.

263
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,124
My hired hand pulled down a
box of eggs and broke two dozen.

264
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:54,958
I announced that he was
unlucky to eggs

265
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,885
and no longer allowed
to approach them.

266
00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,884
"Unlucky to eggs.” I like that.

267
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,466
I told him that his shirt
had so many holes,

268
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,176
he can make a necklace of it.

269
00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:07,434
Well, we often wish
we could afford a hired hand.

270
00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,836
We've suffered a great deal from
the carelessness of hired hands.

271
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,880
Mr. holt's hired hand is said
to have swum his horse

272
00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:13,565
over the canal despite the cold.

273
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:14,655
Really?

274
00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:17,360
Yes.

275
00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:18,611
Winter's been so hard,

276
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,987
sometimes Mrs. weldon's son

277
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:22,536
has had to deliver the mail
on skis.

278
00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:25,285
Now our letters can get lost
at breakneck speed.

279
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,661
Did you write letters to tallie
when you were courting?

280
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,088
I did.

281
00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:34,248
And did tallie keep them?

282
00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:39,135
Only tallie knows for sure.

283
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:49,517
[Monday, February 25th.

284
00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:04,282
Finney and tallie's bond
confounds me.

285
00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:07,952
At times, when their eyes meet,

286
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:12,457
they seem yoked in opposition
to one another,

287
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,790
while at other times,
there seems a shared regard.

288
00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:20,127
There is something going on
between us

289
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,712
that I cannot unravel.

290
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,310
Hold this here.

291
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,520
Okay.

292
00:27:47,457 --> 00:27:48,457
Thank you.

293
00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:15,269
Hello, dyer.

294
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:17,361
Well, hello.

295
00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:19,481
You're off?

296
00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:20,813
Yes, to town.

297
00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:25,696
She'll be pleased to see you.

298
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,046
Happy birthday!

299
00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:42,167
Brought you some things.

300
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:47,506
Hand-knitted?

301
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:49,641
I hoped you'd like them.

302
00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:50,763
I do.

303
00:28:57,819 --> 00:28:58,854
An atlas!

304
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,150
The United States of America.

305
00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:12,201
Oh and a little pot of
apple sauce with an egg on top.

306
00:29:18,257 --> 00:29:19,622
My feet are freezing.

307
00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:21,047
Oh, let me warm them.

308
00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:34,814
How's Finney?

309
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:37,858
He's Finney.

310
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:51,285
Ah, it tickles.

311
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,962
My husband records
trespassers in his journals.

312
00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:07,215
And this morning,
when I asked him

313
00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:08,796
what he intends to do
about them,

314
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,097
his response was so unpleasant
that I...

315
00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:13,683
Resolved to visit you...

316
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,454
So that there would be something
in my day

317
00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:18,892
other than his meanness.

318
00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:25,529
Dyer thinks he has
many estimable qualities.

319
00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:26,775
He does.

320
00:30:26,867 --> 00:30:29,779
And he also uses a ledger to
keep accounting of whom I visit

321
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,030
and how long I stay.

322
00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:32,361
Why?

323
00:30:32,456 --> 00:30:33,821
I have no idea.

324
00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:35,371
As he's gotten more like this,

325
00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:37,165
I've given up trying
to figure out

326
00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:39,243
all the peculiarities of his...

327
00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,162
Odd little world.

328
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:49,215
I suppose he's especially
unhappy with me since...

329
00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:52,972
I'm yet to give him a child.

330
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:02,728
What does it feel like?

331
00:31:05,072 --> 00:31:06,687
Like nothing at first.

332
00:31:07,824 --> 00:31:10,691
But then when she began to stir...

333
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:13,072
It's like butterflies flapping their wings.

334
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,740
Later, like a rabbit...

335
00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:19,665
When she kicked her legs at night.

336
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:24,496
It frightens me.

337
00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:32,087
The thought of having none of that.

338
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:39,306
And of giving birth.

339
00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,139
Most of us feel that way.

340
00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:46,070
But...

341
00:31:47,322 --> 00:31:50,485
When the time comes,
I will be there...

342
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:51,906
To guide you through it.

343
00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:02,163
Dyer must want another child.

344
00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:10,212
I understand.

345
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,169
Birthday gifts.

346
00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:01,013
A box of raisins.

347
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:04,308
That needle case
you've been needing.

348
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:05,855
And a tin of sardines.

349
00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:07,735
You spoil me.

350
00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:13,693
Oh, you got gifts
from your new friend.

351
00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:18,618
She left hours ago.

352
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:22,956
I just saw her leave.

353
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:34,213
The great storm began

354
00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:37,546
with a faint groaning
in the northeast.

355
00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:40,428
It was like a noise
of a locomotive.

356
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,110
Help!

357
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:17,320
Come closer, girl.

358
00:35:17,407 --> 00:35:18,772
It's warmer over here.

359
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:42,466
I'm sorry, I'll be going.

360
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,717
You should wait it out.

361
00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:54,735
Come on, mare.

362
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,376
Dyer!

363
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:31,678
Dyer!

364
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:56,745
Dyer!

365
00:37:16,860 --> 00:37:20,102
How long would it be
before I receive word of tallie?

366
00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:23,821
How long could I wait?

367
00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,531
How long will the feed
in the barn last?

368
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:35,496
Each cow eats 26 pounds
of forage every day.

369
00:37:36,713 --> 00:37:38,874
You should know that.

370
00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:42,549
They start to skinny down
after three days.

371
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:45,342
Heard the newspaper predicts
the storm'll let up by then.

372
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:46,670
But that's probably based on

373
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:49,006
an expert's consultation
of a goose bone.

374
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:04,104
"In a real crisis of nature,
we're all at another's mercy."

375
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:05,818
Yes.

376
00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:09,154
My mother liked to say,

377
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:11,827
"we tumble from one
mortification to another."

378
00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:21,838
When I was seven, an earthquake
knocked down our house and barn.

379
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,260
Did I tell you?

380
00:38:26,262 --> 00:38:27,297
Never.

381
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:30,217
- An earthquake?
- Yes.

382
00:38:33,102 --> 00:38:34,888
I remember something woke me
before dawn.

383
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,219
I don't know what.

384
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:39,768
My father was calling out.

385
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:46,067
But I couldn't tear myself
away from the window.

386
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:50,491
I saw birds fluttering
in the air, afraid to set down.

387
00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:52,990
The river was roiling,
and I couldn't move.

388
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,034
And then...

389
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:04,331
Finally, I jumped down
to our collapsed stairwell,

390
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,342
as all my brothers
had done before me.

391
00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,841
And we all huddled together
in the dark on the porch.

392
00:39:21,109 --> 00:39:22,599
Later, my mother said

393
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,436
that the dread never fully
went away after that.

394
00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:32,692
She said, "what was safe if
the solid earth could do that?"

395
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:39,662
Mother.

396
00:39:58,187 --> 00:39:59,927
Tallie! You're frozen!

397
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,190
Tallie! Stay awake! Stay awake!

398
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:10,237
Open your eyes! Open your eyes!

399
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:16,747
Keep your eyes open!

400
00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:18,582
Keep your eyes open!

401
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:21,703
Look at me.

402
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,541
I would die without you.

403
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:34,178
Then you're safe.

404
00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:37,594
Because I am here.

405
00:40:39,729 --> 00:40:41,845
Monday, march 17th.

406
00:40:58,081 --> 00:41:00,914
Half the chickens are lost.

407
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,458
I dug ice and snow
from their dead open mouths

408
00:41:04,545 --> 00:41:07,082
in an attempt to revive them.

409
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,533
Hobnalils...

410
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,157
For better traction.

411
00:41:47,547 --> 00:41:49,629
The widow weldon's
son, on his rounds,

412
00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:52,753
reported that tallie
had gotten home safely,

413
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:55,551
with, he thought,
only a bit of frostbite.

414
00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:57,799
We haven't seen your friend
down the Lane for a while.

415
00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:00,841
Finney took her to oneonta.

416
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,600
So everything is tedious
and lonesome?

417
00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:10,191
Thursday, April 10th.

418
00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:16,902
Biscuits and dried mackerel
for breakfast.

419
00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:21,323
Dyer has augmented
the padding in the cattle pens

420
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:24,281
with his hoardings
of maple leaves and old straw.

421
00:42:26,335 --> 00:42:28,826
It always seems
that tallie will never appear.

422
00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,335
But I remind myself that time
and the needle wear

423
00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:35,041
through the longest morning.

424
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:38,966
And I have noted
that when she does arrive,

425
00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:43,849
my heart is like a leaf
borne over a rock

426
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:46,018
by rapidly moving water.

427
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:08,120
Hello. Oh!

428
00:43:08,211 --> 00:43:10,042
Oh! Careful.

429
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,797
Stay. Sit, sit.

430
00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:24,431
Saturday, April 12th.

431
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:27,932
- I spent the last two days...
- Very damp, cloudy and cool.

432
00:43:29,148 --> 00:43:30,684
Smoky.

433
00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:33,357
Perhaps the forest
is somewhere on fire.

434
00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:38,479
Your nose is being gracious.

435
00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:41,566
Monday, April 14th.

436
00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:44,277
A terribly bad spring so far,

437
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,704
but the clover
has come up through it,

438
00:43:46,791 --> 00:43:48,076
and is all right.

439
00:43:50,002 --> 00:43:51,002
And how's Finney?

440
00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:53,623
The soul of Patience.

441
00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:57,924
He's mentioning again the idea
of migrating west.

442
00:44:00,596 --> 00:44:02,211
You're planning on moving west?

443
00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:05,468
Perhaps.

444
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:09,849
I had an uncle who moved to Ohio
and came to a desperate end.

445
00:44:09,939 --> 00:44:12,305
Which is what one
might expect from Ohio.

446
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,476
- Tomorrow?
- Hm.

447
00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:24,613
Thursday, April 17th.

448
00:44:24,704 --> 00:44:28,071
Rain in torrents
nearly all night.

449
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:31,533
The Lane is flooded
and the ditches brim full.

450
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:34,619
This morning,
only a slight shower.

451
00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:37,547
Tallie came later
than her usual time today.

452
00:44:38,885 --> 00:44:40,750
She offered no explanation.

453
00:45:04,035 --> 00:45:08,449
I'm sorry that your childhood
was anything less than joyous.

454
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:09,949
Joyous it was not.

455
00:45:11,167 --> 00:45:12,782
But I made my own happinesses.

456
00:45:15,922 --> 00:45:19,164
My husband says, "god
puts heavy stones in your path,

457
00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:20,794
it's up to us
to step over them."

458
00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:25,507
Stones are what
the fortunate receive.

459
00:45:26,891 --> 00:45:30,759
My mother's mother was born
in 1780

460
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:32,639
right here in schoharie county.

461
00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:37,231
I often wonder at the courage

462
00:45:37,318 --> 00:45:39,229
and the resourcefulness
of those women.

463
00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:44,109
Imagine faring forth
into a wilderness,

464
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,612
hoping to build the foundations
of a home.

465
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,907
Maybe they had a certain high
hopefulness that we don't have.

466
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,712
When can you come?

467
00:46:04,971 --> 00:46:06,006
Tuesday.

468
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:13,885
- Hello, tallie!
- Good day.

469
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:15,766
Was your afternoon gladsome?

470
00:46:15,856 --> 00:46:16,936
Yes, it was, very.

471
00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:21,813
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

472
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:28,816
I felt,

473
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:31,448
looking at her expression,

474
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:35,373
as if she were
in full sail on a flood tide,

475
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,996
while I bobbed
along down backwards.

476
00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:40,544
And yet,

477
00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:43,873
I never say on her countenance
the indifference

478
00:46:43,968 --> 00:46:47,005
of fortunate
towards the less fortunate.

479
00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:20,128
Good day.

480
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:21,873
Good day.

481
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:22,964
Are you sick, too?

482
00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:25,043
Not at all.

483
00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:27,799
I was hoping to compare colds.

484
00:47:29,430 --> 00:47:30,670
I'll make you tea and honey?

485
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,243
What?

486
00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:01,746
Every morning I wake up

487
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,419
and I think that I never
want to be far from you.

488
00:48:14,767 --> 00:48:16,995
And under your influence,
since you're so good with words,

489
00:48:17,019 --> 00:48:18,099
I've composed a poem.

490
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,894
It's entitled...

491
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:25,975
"Oh, sick and miserable heart,
be still."

492
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:35,409
When I was a little girl,

493
00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,407
I thought I could cultivate
my intellect

494
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:39,580
and do something for the world.

495
00:48:42,545 --> 00:48:47,005
But my life has surprised me
by being far more ordinary.

496
00:48:52,721 --> 00:48:54,086
You're talking about that moment

497
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:57,719
that I have dreamed about,
when we're carried in triumph

498
00:48:57,810 --> 00:49:01,052
for having done something
wonderful or received at home

499
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:04,560
with tears and shouts of joy.

500
00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:05,890
Do you know what I wonder?

501
00:49:17,037 --> 00:49:19,198
Is it possible...

502
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:22,202
That such a moment hasn't
yet come for either of us?

503
00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:26,244
I think it has.

504
00:49:30,259 --> 00:49:31,419
Or that it could.

505
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:32,969
You do.

506
00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:36,132
So what do you think?

507
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:39,006
What do you think about us?

508
00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:45,725
I don't know how
to put it into words.

509
00:49:45,816 --> 00:49:46,816
Well, try.

510
00:49:49,111 --> 00:49:50,567
- I have tried.
- Well, try again.

511
00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:51,939
What do you imagine?

512
00:49:58,245 --> 00:49:59,781
I imagine that I love

513
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:02,955
how our encircling feelings
leave nothing out...

514
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,541
For us to want or seek.

515
00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,003
I've presumed too much.

516
00:50:23,312 --> 00:50:25,803
It's been my experience
that it's not always those

517
00:50:25,898 --> 00:50:30,107
who show the least
who actually feel the least.

518
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,988
Just my dog's toenails
on the wood.

519
00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:03,432
Why didn't you do
what you attempted to do?

520
00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:45,424
I worry you'll catch my cold.

521
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,183
You smell like a biscuit.

522
00:51:57,948 --> 00:51:59,404
I have to go home.

523
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:21,301
Astonishment and joy.

524
00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:31,557
Astonishment and joy.

525
00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:45,283
Astonishment and joy.

526
00:53:09,812 --> 00:53:12,144
You haven't accomplished
any of your responsibilities.

527
00:53:14,692 --> 00:53:17,684
- Do you need assistance?
- No, I don't think so.

528
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:33,706
So it's a cold plate
for supper tonight?

529
00:53:44,388 --> 00:53:45,594
I'll milk the cows.

530
00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:25,334
Friday, may 30th.

531
00:54:27,931 --> 00:54:30,047
The sunshine streaming
through the branches

532
00:54:30,142 --> 00:54:33,555
makes a tremendous farrago
of light and shade.

533
00:54:40,194 --> 00:54:44,062
We hold our friendship
between us and study it,

534
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:49,150
as if it were the incomplete
map of our escape.

535
00:54:58,754 --> 00:55:00,164
When the day is done,

536
00:55:01,340 --> 00:55:02,830
my mind turns to her,

537
00:55:02,925 --> 00:55:05,086
and I think,
with a special heat,

538
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:09,386
"why are we to be separated?”

539
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:34,452
Your smile stopped.
Is it meant for someone else?

540
00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:36,155
Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.

541
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:44,046
We need calico and buttons
and shoe thread.

542
00:55:49,471 --> 00:55:51,837
Am I troubling you,
sitting here with you like this?

543
00:55:53,433 --> 00:55:54,468
Not at all.

544
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:01,597
I may be late coming to it,

545
00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:03,728
but I've learned
consideration of others.

546
00:56:06,738 --> 00:56:08,603
I've learned the need
for human sympathy

547
00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:11,781
and the unfulfilled want of it.

548
00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:15,656
I feel I've provided you
with sympathy.

549
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:19,990
I suppose that's so.

550
00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:37,762
The smile returns.

551
00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:47,101
Good day.

552
00:57:00,584 --> 00:57:04,873
Oh.

553
00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:07,045
I believe that intimacy
increases goodwill.

554
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,002
And if that's the case,

555
00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:11,458
then every minute
we spend together

556
00:57:11,553 --> 00:57:13,418
will make us
more cheerful workers.

557
00:57:16,141 --> 00:57:17,847
Won't our farms benefit
from that?

558
00:57:19,186 --> 00:57:20,266
Won't our husbands?

559
00:57:23,565 --> 00:57:25,351
All our burdens
will be lightened.

560
00:57:51,843 --> 00:57:55,506
When she left,
I was like a skiff at sea

561
00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:58,555
with neither hand nor helm
to guide it.

562
00:58:01,353 --> 00:58:03,844
They're cleaning out the drain
under the street along the fork.

563
00:58:07,192 --> 00:58:09,183
And several people
are down with fever.

564
00:58:15,075 --> 00:58:17,862
Holt came by to hang the bacon.

565
00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:20,615
He still hasn't recovered from
being beaten by two strangers.

566
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:25,203
He had to be hauled to his home
in his cart.

567
00:58:25,293 --> 00:58:27,133
He said the men who did it
were gonna kill him,

568
00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:29,669
and then realized they were
mistaken as to who he was.

569
00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:31,316
Lately, it seems like
all you talk about

570
00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:32,922
are highwaymen
and house breakers.

571
00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:42,014
On the contrary,

572
00:58:42,102 --> 00:58:43,967
I often defer
to your sensitivities.

573
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,349
And I haven't even
told you about

574
00:58:47,441 --> 00:58:49,056
all the reports
in the county of men

575
00:58:49,151 --> 00:58:51,608
who've poisoned
and killed their wives

576
00:58:51,695 --> 00:58:53,895
because I haven't found it
a fitting subject for supper.

577
00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,741
"Killed their wives,"
he used those words?

578
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:01,238
Mm-hm. Those words.

579
00:59:02,831 --> 00:59:05,243
Have you had any disagreements?

580
00:59:05,333 --> 00:59:07,665
Yes, about my wifely duties.

581
00:59:07,753 --> 00:59:10,119
I told him that I was opposed
to it, that I was not willing.

582
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:14,256
And he accepted that?

583
00:59:15,761 --> 00:59:17,626
Well, he hasn't
touched me since, so...

584
00:59:29,649 --> 00:59:31,230
But I made myself feel better...

585
00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:33,983
By composing a poem.

586
00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:37,104
Can I read
you the opening stanza?

587
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:40,114
You can read me the entire poem.

588
00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:42,113
No, I'll start with
the opening stanza.

589
00:59:48,668 --> 00:59:50,374
"I love flowering gardens.

590
00:59:51,129 --> 00:59:53,211
I love creeping plants.

591
00:59:53,298 --> 00:59:55,459
I love walking in the air,

592
00:59:55,550 --> 00:59:57,256
but I fear swarming ants."

593
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:04,426
I don't think I can
support the rhyme.

594
01:00:09,606 --> 01:00:11,346
You see why I didn't
read the whole thing?

595
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:13,898
I'm sorry.

596
01:00:13,985 --> 01:00:16,271
I've always been contrary
and maladroit.

597
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,405
Earlier, I... I felt that...

598
01:00:26,706 --> 01:00:30,540
Whenever I would draw close
to you, you would retreat,

599
01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:33,039
and that, if I kept still,
you would return

600
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:35,963
but you'd stay at a distance,
like those sparrows

601
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:39,007
that stay in the farmyard
and won't come into the house.

602
01:00:40,428 --> 01:00:43,420
- That's not how I feel.
- How do you feel, then?

603
01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:45,346
When I was in school,

604
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:47,173
the teacher had me
read "cordelia"

605
01:00:47,269 --> 01:00:48,725
to an older boy's "king lear."

606
01:00:50,272 --> 01:00:51,307
Near the end of the play,

607
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:54,140
the king and his daughter
are imprisoned,

608
01:00:54,234 --> 01:00:56,225
but he views it in a positive way.

609
01:00:57,904 --> 01:01:00,611
"Come, let's away to prison,"
he says.

610
01:01:02,534 --> 01:01:06,026
"We two alone shall sing
like birds in a cage."

611
01:01:07,164 --> 01:01:08,199
Imprisoned...

612
01:01:10,709 --> 01:01:12,074
In a positive way?

613
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:17,004
Well, maybe that one has to read
the entire play.

614
01:01:17,090 --> 01:01:19,046
It may be only in plays where people

615
01:01:19,134 --> 01:01:22,001
are imprisoned in a positive way.

616
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:24,632
You don't think there's a cage
that could work to our benefit?

617
01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:31,927
I just...

618
01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:37,724
I only know that...

619
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:42,233
I've never liked cages.

620
01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:05,343
I hope you had a good afternoon
in shangri-la or timbuktu,

621
01:02:05,430 --> 01:02:06,590
wherever it is you've been.

622
01:02:06,681 --> 01:02:08,467
I had a busy afternoon, yes.

623
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:09,843
I would think.

624
01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:11,891
Five hours you've been gone.

625
01:02:11,978 --> 01:02:13,093
I went to the drapers.

626
01:02:13,188 --> 01:02:15,429
I couldn't find anything I liked.

627
01:02:15,523 --> 01:02:17,418
Then I stopped by the tinker
for a sack of coffee,

628
01:02:17,442 --> 01:02:20,149
but he's now asking 60 cents,
and I only had 50.

629
01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:22,173
Then I thought I would buy you
a treat of some kind,

630
01:02:22,197 --> 01:02:23,778
but Mr. arnolds reminded me

631
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,745
that I still owed
for my last transactions so...

632
01:02:27,577 --> 01:02:29,408
I was forced
to close up my purse.

633
01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:33,788
Tell me everything
about your day.

634
01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:35,115
Don't hold anything back.

635
01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:38,077
You're not interested in
how your wife spends her time.

636
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,082
I don't feel I have a wife.

637
01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:43,006
I feel I have a selfish whore who...

638
01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:45,379
Who'd rather wander off
to another man's house

639
01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:46,960
than contribute any labor.

640
01:02:51,810 --> 01:02:53,550
Well, dyer was off in the fields,

641
01:02:53,645 --> 01:02:55,852
and her house
is on the way back home, so...

642
01:02:57,941 --> 01:02:59,351
So it's just Abigail and you

643
01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:01,933
tittering and gossiping
away the hours?

644
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:05,111
Enjoying each other's company.

645
01:03:05,198 --> 01:03:08,440
I have certain expectations,
and you have certain duties.

646
01:03:08,535 --> 01:03:11,447
We've talked all night and day
about your expectations.

647
01:03:13,957 --> 01:03:15,322
I will not stay with a woman

648
01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,453
if it continually requires contention.

649
01:03:17,544 --> 01:03:20,035
Well, then you shouldn't
stay with me, should you?

650
01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,791
Don't ask for more
than you can handle.

651
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:34,007
Sunday, June 8th.

652
01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:37,515
All afternoon, a hawk has been
using a single cloud above us

653
01:03:37,605 --> 01:03:39,436
as its own parasol.

654
01:03:55,540 --> 01:03:57,747
To ward off others of its kind.

655
01:04:12,182 --> 01:04:16,141
Our whole house now
seems both angry and repentant.

656
01:04:19,773 --> 01:04:20,979
God help us.

657
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,843
When three days went by
without a word from her,

658
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:55,013
I stole over to her house
to look on her

659
01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:56,715
from what I imagined to be

660
01:04:56,810 --> 01:04:58,892
a vantage point
of perfect safety.

661
01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:10,988
By turning the lens piece,
I could draw her face nearer,

662
01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:14,532
and hold it there
until she turned away.

663
01:05:14,619 --> 01:05:17,201
Her image provoked
a sensation in me

664
01:05:17,288 --> 01:05:19,745
like the violence
that sends a floating branch

665
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,791
far out over
a waterfall's precipice

666
01:05:22,877 --> 01:05:24,742
before it plummets.

667
01:05:38,643 --> 01:05:41,760
"For the wife does not have
the authority over her own body,

668
01:05:41,855 --> 01:05:42,855
but the husband does.

669
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:44,395
Do not deprive one another,

670
01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:46,188
so that Satan may not tempt you

671
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:48,437
because of your lack
of self-control."

672
01:05:48,528 --> 01:05:51,986
Ephesians 5:33. "Submit to your
own husbands, as to the lord..."

673
01:05:52,073 --> 01:05:54,109
Monday, June 9th.

674
01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:11,668
Merciful father...

675
01:06:13,386 --> 01:06:15,672
Turn the channel of events.

676
01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:32,235
Wednesday, June 11th.

677
01:06:36,534 --> 01:06:39,571
Dyer has been silent all day,

678
01:06:39,662 --> 01:06:42,244
and I was happy to be left
in my solitude.

679
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:57,548
Hello!

680
01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:00,426
Tallie...

681
01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:01,882
We haven't seen you for days.

682
01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:04,805
Have you been ill?

683
01:07:06,731 --> 01:07:08,331
- Nothing serious, I hope.
- Ho!

684
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:12,187
She's been under the weather.

685
01:07:13,947 --> 01:07:16,814
- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

686
01:07:16,908 --> 01:07:20,025
We want to invite you to dinner
again this Saturday next.

687
01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:22,986
But it's our turn.
We should be feasting you.

688
01:07:23,081 --> 01:07:24,946
In the meantime,
please be our guests.

689
01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:27,543
We'd love to.

690
01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:29,162
Six?

691
01:07:30,213 --> 01:07:31,703
- Six it is.
- Hup!

692
01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:51,556
My mother once told me in a fury

693
01:07:51,651 --> 01:07:53,482
when [I was a little girl

694
01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:55,401
that my father
asked nothing of her

695
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:57,604
except that
she work in the garden,

696
01:07:57,699 --> 01:08:00,315
harvest the produce,
preserve the fruit,

697
01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:04,743
manage the household duties,

698
01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:07,493
and help out in the fields
when needed.

699
01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:09,290
She said she appeared
in his ledger

700
01:08:09,377 --> 01:08:11,663
only when she purchased a dress.

701
01:08:13,172 --> 01:08:14,582
Am I anywhere in there?

702
01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:20,756
I'm recording spring expenses.

703
01:08:20,847 --> 01:08:23,054
And how have things changed?

704
01:08:23,141 --> 01:08:25,006
Daughters are married off
so young

705
01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:28,434
that everywhere you look
a slender and unwilling girl

706
01:08:28,521 --> 01:08:31,354
is being forced to stem
a sea of tribulations

707
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:33,932
before she is even full-grown
in height.

708
01:08:37,864 --> 01:08:39,070
That's its purpose!

709
01:08:58,259 --> 01:08:59,294
Come on. Come on.

710
01:09:07,226 --> 01:09:08,341
Morning.

711
01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:26,700
Morning, Jim.

712
01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:29,033
Morning, ma'am.

713
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:30,329
I've got a new book for you.

714
01:09:30,416 --> 01:09:31,852
Do you know,
I'd actually like to see

715
01:09:31,876 --> 01:09:33,616
that blue dress you have there.

716
01:09:33,711 --> 01:09:34,791
All right, lady.

717
01:09:39,550 --> 01:09:40,630
Over here!

718
01:09:51,354 --> 01:09:52,560
It's two and a half.

719
01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:55,645
I'll take it.

720
01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:28,421
My change?

721
01:10:33,980 --> 01:10:35,015
Thank you.

722
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:39,557
The mannings' oldest
daughter tipped over an oil lamp

723
01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:41,313
and it set the house ablaze.

724
01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:43,019
- Fire!
- Ho! Ho!

725
01:10:44,782 --> 01:10:46,051
- Fire!
- Before she was driven

726
01:10:46,075 --> 01:10:48,316
from the house by the flames,

727
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:50,447
she heard calls from her sister,

728
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:52,529
who was trapped in the upper loft.

729
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,755
Get her out of there.

730
01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:14,175
Cassie!

731
01:11:24,822 --> 01:11:26,187
Get her out!

732
01:11:30,912 --> 01:11:32,072
Get her out!

733
01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:58,094
Your wife is to be commended
on her hospitality and cooking.

734
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:04,483
I can recall the day...

735
01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:06,936
No, thank you.

736
01:12:07,031 --> 01:12:12,151
When every family was fed,
clothed, shod, sheltered,

737
01:12:12,245 --> 01:12:14,452
and warmed from the products
a good wife

738
01:12:14,539 --> 01:12:16,404
gathered within
her own fence line.

739
01:12:18,793 --> 01:12:21,250
I heard down by the loggers
that Mrs. mannings' oldest

740
01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:23,874
got fiercely burned
in the house fire.

741
01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:25,796
- Cassie.
- And died.

742
01:12:27,051 --> 01:12:28,916
Yes, she did.

743
01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:32,548
Well, as my father used to say,

744
01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:35,636
"the supreme disposer
of all events

745
01:12:35,726 --> 01:12:38,217
does sometimes disappoint
our earthly hopes."

746
01:12:43,734 --> 01:12:45,770
What a marvelous hanging lamp.

747
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,773
Finney purchased it so
that everyone could read

748
01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,775
with equal ease around the room.

749
01:12:49,866 --> 01:12:51,652
I wasn't brought up to read
over much,

750
01:12:53,619 --> 01:12:55,826
but I do believe a father
should give his children

751
01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:58,245
every chance to improve.

752
01:12:58,332 --> 01:13:00,414
Children being a sore point
in this household.

753
01:13:03,296 --> 01:13:04,502
And yours, I'd expect.

754
01:13:08,426 --> 01:13:09,836
You'll have to forgive
my husband.

755
01:13:14,557 --> 01:13:16,718
Even so,

756
01:13:16,809 --> 01:13:18,845
whatever misfortunes
arrive at my doorstep,

757
01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:21,552
I seek to improve my lot
with my own industry.

758
01:13:25,776 --> 01:13:27,641
I study my options closely,

759
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:30,695
and just attend to everything
with more vehemence.

760
01:13:30,781 --> 01:13:33,147
Well, then you should be
commended for that.

761
01:13:33,242 --> 01:13:34,778
I'll give you an example.

762
01:13:34,869 --> 01:13:37,781
When I first began farming,

763
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:39,828
I was so vexed
at my own inability

764
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:41,998
to stop my dogs barking

765
01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:44,496
that one January,
during a storm,

766
01:13:44,587 --> 01:13:47,750
I held the dog around
the corner of the barn in a Gale

767
01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,080
until it froze to death.

768
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:56,713
I nearly froze to death myself,
at least froze my hands,

769
01:13:56,807 --> 01:13:58,513
even with my heavy work gloves.

770
01:13:58,601 --> 01:14:00,011
That is reprehensible.

771
01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:05,555
Did I see outside
that you use an old shovel plow?

772
01:14:05,650 --> 01:14:08,517
Well, since you're interested
in my machinery,

773
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:13,362
I have a hinged harrow
that's been giving me trouble.

774
01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:16,782
The spikes catch the rocks
and roots, and they break off.

775
01:14:16,869 --> 01:14:19,531
Well, our harrow
has upright discs.

776
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:20,737
Work better?

777
01:14:21,749 --> 01:14:22,784
Yeah, it seems to.

778
01:14:26,253 --> 01:14:27,743
Bring the desserts.

779
01:14:27,838 --> 01:14:29,794
I think we're stuffed.

780
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:31,463
My husband insists
on his pastries

781
01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:33,040
and preserved fruits and creams.

782
01:14:34,095 --> 01:14:35,130
Well, good.

783
01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:44,517
What is happening?

784
01:14:44,605 --> 01:14:46,141
Are you in danger?

785
01:14:46,232 --> 01:14:48,018
What happened to your neck?

786
01:14:48,109 --> 01:14:50,100
No, I just took a fall
over a fence.

787
01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:52,943
I hadn't heard.

788
01:14:54,615 --> 01:14:56,655
There are many things about
which you haven't heard.

789
01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:05,787
Back at the table,

790
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:08,076
tallie kept strict custody
of her eyes.

791
01:15:09,672 --> 01:15:12,664
Her husband's mood
seemed to have darkened.

792
01:15:12,758 --> 01:15:15,500
He served the pastries
and creams himself,

793
01:15:17,555 --> 01:15:19,386
leaving only her plate empty.

794
01:15:35,781 --> 01:15:38,193
Saturday, June 21st.

795
01:15:39,869 --> 01:15:41,359
My heart a maelstrom.

796
01:15:42,496 --> 01:15:44,828
My head a bedlam.

797
01:15:44,915 --> 01:15:47,372
A whole week
and no visit from tallie.

798
01:15:49,211 --> 01:15:50,246
No word.

799
01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:02,505
My anxieties often force me
to stop my work

800
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:04,716
and pace the house
like an inmate.

801
01:16:06,395 --> 01:16:07,601
I have to see her.

802
01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:28,156
Ho, ho!

803
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:48,513
Tallie! Tallie!

804
01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:41,653
What has happened?

805
01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:43,738
They're gone.

806
01:17:46,287 --> 01:17:47,993
And no goodbye?

807
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:49,445
We need to call the sheriff.

808
01:17:55,004 --> 01:17:58,246
And report what exactly?
That our neighbors moved?

809
01:17:58,340 --> 01:18:00,456
It's the zebrun farm.
They were renting.

810
01:18:00,551 --> 01:18:01,551
I'll go then.

811
01:18:02,219 --> 01:18:03,675
For what reason?

812
01:18:03,762 --> 01:18:04,842
There's blood!

813
01:18:08,058 --> 01:18:09,468
And you never had an accident?

814
01:18:17,193 --> 01:18:18,649
So we'll just do nothing?

815
01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:37,744
I'll make the rounds
of the neighbors.

816
01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,338
And if we are not satisfied,

817
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:42,905
we can take your fears
to the sheriff.

818
01:18:46,096 --> 01:18:47,096
Thank you.

819
01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:54,636
Monday, June 23rd.

820
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:57,597
Dyer said Mrs. nottoway
recalled spotting their caravan

821
01:18:57,691 --> 01:19:01,354
on the country road in the
late evening, heading northwest.

822
01:19:01,445 --> 01:19:02,525
Mrs. nottoway?

823
01:19:02,613 --> 01:19:04,524
She believed she spied
tallie's figure

824
01:19:04,615 --> 01:19:07,652
alongside her husband's
but was unsure.

825
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:12,453
A hired hand, she thought,
was driving the second wagon.

826
01:19:12,539 --> 01:19:14,780
Sunday, June 29th

827
01:19:14,875 --> 01:19:17,491
I spotted the sheriff
on his way to church.

828
01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:20,828
I conveyed my accusations,
to no response.

829
01:19:23,634 --> 01:19:26,000
Dyer said that no one would
investigate a crime

830
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:28,177
without evidence that a crime
had been committed.

831
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:29,264
Calm myself?

832
01:19:29,348 --> 01:19:31,088
I refused to calm myself,

833
01:19:31,183 --> 01:19:34,596
so he tied me to a chair
and administered laudanum.

834
01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:37,599
Monday, June 30th.

835
01:19:37,690 --> 01:19:40,523
Bleary and short of breath
from the laudanum...

836
01:19:44,405 --> 01:19:45,690
I wake weeping,

837
01:19:46,615 --> 01:19:47,855
retire weeping,

838
01:19:48,993 --> 01:19:51,359
stand before my duties weeping.

839
01:19:56,959 --> 01:19:59,575
Sunday, July 6th.

840
01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:02,753
I am a library without books,

841
01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:06,958
a sea of fear,
agitation and want.

842
01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:10,920
Dyer speaks of how much we
have for which to be grateful.

843
01:20:11,015 --> 01:20:14,007
I sit violently conscious
of the ticking clock

844
01:20:14,101 --> 01:20:16,092
while he weeps
at what he imagines

845
01:20:16,186 --> 01:20:19,144
to be his own poor,
forgotten self.

846
01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:21,017
Wednesday, July 9th.

847
01:20:22,776 --> 01:20:24,858
Despite some hours
without the laudanum,

848
01:20:24,945 --> 01:20:27,402
I was so befogged
and wild with grief

849
01:20:27,489 --> 01:20:29,400
that dyer left me
for the afternoon,

850
01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:32,733
unsettled and wary of my state.

851
01:20:37,541 --> 01:20:39,907
Tuesday, July 22nd.

852
01:20:55,976 --> 01:20:58,092
- Weldon?
- Good day.

853
01:20:58,187 --> 01:20:59,539
The renters at zebrun's farm
are gone.

854
01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:01,099
Did they leave
a forwarding address?

855
01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:04,565
No. You've got a letter.

856
01:21:07,279 --> 01:21:08,359
Hyah.

857
01:21:13,327 --> 01:21:14,362
Is it from her?

858
01:21:16,789 --> 01:21:17,869
It is.

859
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:21,456
- Oh.
- Origin?

860
01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:23,158
Onondaga county. Do you know it?

861
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,124
It's north of Syracuse.

862
01:21:35,974 --> 01:21:37,089
Are you gonna read it?

863
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:40,600
To myself.

864
01:21:55,327 --> 01:21:59,070
Abigail, Abigail, Abigail.

865
01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:02,497
I'm sorry that all I have
to send you is this letter,

866
01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:06,372
and I'm sorry for all
that a letter cannot be.

867
01:22:07,965 --> 01:22:10,502
Even the best letter
is just a little bit of someone.

868
01:22:12,428 --> 01:22:14,794
I'm sorry I never got
to say goodbye,

869
01:22:16,473 --> 01:22:18,714
and I'm sorry that we seem
to have traded

870
01:22:18,809 --> 01:22:20,595
one sort of misery for another.

871
01:22:23,021 --> 01:22:25,433
It turns out that houses
deep in the backwoods

872
01:22:25,524 --> 01:22:29,437
always seem to be awful and
unnatural in their loneliness.

873
01:22:31,029 --> 01:22:32,565
If there were only
a ruined Abbey

874
01:22:32,656 --> 01:22:35,568
around here with bats in it,
the view would be perfect.

875
01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:41,870
Our roof is ramshackle and sheds
water nicely in dry weather

876
01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:46,496
but we have to spread milk pans
around the floor when it rains.

877
01:22:46,587 --> 01:22:48,452
Still, outside the kitchen,

878
01:22:48,547 --> 01:22:52,790
there are already anemones
and heart's-ease,

879
01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:55,422
and even prettier flowers
which my stupidity

880
01:22:55,512 --> 01:22:58,675
keeps me from naming for you.

881
01:22:58,765 --> 01:23:02,599
I believe I've enjoyed myself
less these last few weeks

882
01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:05,098
than any other female
who ever lived.

883
01:23:07,232 --> 01:23:09,188
During what little time
I have to myself,

884
01:23:09,276 --> 01:23:11,733
Finney reads aloud
instructions for wives

885
01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:13,435
from the old testament.

886
01:23:16,074 --> 01:23:17,689
But when it comes to the Bible,

887
01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:20,116
I have to say that
there are a lot of passages

888
01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:22,195
he may know word for word,

889
01:23:22,289 --> 01:23:23,995
but which haven't touched
his heart.

890
01:23:25,876 --> 01:23:28,083
I can't account for his state
of mind except to say

891
01:23:28,170 --> 01:23:31,628
that my company must be
intensely disagreeable to him.

892
01:23:32,716 --> 01:23:33,956
And if that's the case,

893
01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:35,920
I'm sorry for it.

894
01:23:48,190 --> 01:23:49,225
Ho...

895
01:23:50,817 --> 01:23:51,897
Good afternoon!

896
01:23:54,738 --> 01:23:56,069
Afternoon.

897
01:23:58,283 --> 01:23:59,363
Whoa.

898
01:23:59,451 --> 01:24:00,486
Hey.

899
01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:03,277
I've got something for you.

900
01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:06,534
There you go.

901
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:08,289
Thank you.

902
01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:09,412
Good day.

903
01:24:10,087 --> 01:24:11,543
Hyah. Come on.

904
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,549
- Is it for me?
- From schoharie county.

905
01:24:29,314 --> 01:24:31,225
- Your Abigail.
- Give that to me.

906
01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:33,022
Give it. Finney, give...

907
01:24:35,404 --> 01:24:36,484
Finney!

908
01:24:36,572 --> 01:24:39,154
"What's to become
of the thousands of our sex

909
01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:40,856
scattered out in the wilderness

910
01:24:40,951 --> 01:24:43,658
and obliged
to tax our strengths?

911
01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,451
I feel as if,
at that selfsame hour

912
01:24:45,539 --> 01:24:46,766
when our prospects
were brightest,

913
01:24:46,790 --> 01:24:49,247
that in the dim distance
a black shadow approached.

914
01:24:50,168 --> 01:24:51,999
And yet still,

915
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:54,419
imagine the happiest of unions
for us of the sort

916
01:24:54,506 --> 01:24:56,426
in which two families previously
at daggers drawn

917
01:24:56,466 --> 01:24:59,003
are miraculously brought
together on love's account.

918
01:25:04,641 --> 01:25:06,302
It is your face
I bear through the night.

919
01:25:06,393 --> 01:25:08,475
It is to you I devote
a dreaming space

920
01:25:08,562 --> 01:25:11,679
before I turn myself to sleep,
but there is no sleep.

921
01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:15,265
It's as if within me everything
clamors for air,

922
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,442
and I think
if it's like this now,

923
01:25:17,529 --> 01:25:18,644
what will it be like later?

924
01:25:19,906 --> 01:25:23,194
I send you what love
and support I can.

925
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:26,864
I send you all my heart's hopes.
Abigail."

926
01:25:52,230 --> 01:25:53,936
Please know that force alone

927
01:25:54,024 --> 01:25:57,437
couldn't have gotten me here
to a place like this.

928
01:25:57,527 --> 01:26:01,611
I was told I had to act
in support of interest,

929
01:26:01,698 --> 01:26:06,692
happiness and the reputation
of someone I once loved.

930
01:26:08,955 --> 01:26:10,661
As far as I can figure,

931
01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:13,707
we're now still only about
85 miles apart.

932
01:26:15,087 --> 01:26:17,078
But of course,

933
01:26:17,172 --> 01:26:19,629
people like us
don't go on long visits.

934
01:26:55,919 --> 01:26:59,082
Dyer refused first
to permit my departure,

935
01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:00,708
and then to accompany me,

936
01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:04,253
and only caught up to the cart

937
01:27:04,344 --> 01:27:06,881
at the end of our property
and climbed aboard.

938
01:27:10,767 --> 01:27:13,600
We were the very picture of anguish,

939
01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:15,803
rattling along side by side.

940
01:27:17,691 --> 01:27:20,182
The night was fair and warm

941
01:27:20,277 --> 01:27:22,393
with the appearance of a coming rain.

942
01:27:22,487 --> 01:27:23,647
A shower.

943
01:28:05,322 --> 01:28:07,278
It's so hard to write about

944
01:28:07,365 --> 01:28:09,401
how much I want to thank you,

945
01:28:09,493 --> 01:28:12,075
but I have to start somewhere.

946
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:15,658
Abigail...

947
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:20,834
I want to tell you that being
with you, even alone,

948
01:28:20,921 --> 01:28:24,334
has been like being a part
of the biggest

949
01:28:24,424 --> 01:28:29,635
and most spacious community
I could ever imagine.

950
01:28:29,721 --> 01:28:33,760
I feel closer to you
than I would a sister since

951
01:28:33,850 --> 01:28:36,011
everything amazing that I feel,

952
01:28:37,270 --> 01:28:39,556
I chose to feel.

953
01:28:42,275 --> 01:28:44,812
And do you know what memory
it is that I most Cherish?

954
01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:51,065
It's of you turning to me
with that smile you gave me

955
01:28:52,577 --> 01:28:56,161
once you realized
that you were loved.

956
01:28:59,459 --> 01:29:02,701
I have no way of knowing
what is to come,

957
01:29:02,796 --> 01:29:06,209
but I do know
that all of the trust

958
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:09,336
and care and courage we shared,

959
01:29:10,637 --> 01:29:12,343
that will all shine on us

960
01:29:13,807 --> 01:29:15,047
and protect us.

961
01:29:17,102 --> 01:29:20,435
You are my city of joy.

962
01:29:22,148 --> 01:29:24,514
You are my city of joy.

963
01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,384
Whoa.

964
01:30:04,983 --> 01:30:06,343
Might I ask your business?

965
01:30:06,401 --> 01:30:09,063
We've come to see tallie.
Where is she?

966
01:30:09,154 --> 01:30:11,440
I heard you on the road.

967
01:30:11,531 --> 01:30:13,691
You made such a racket.
I took you for the tin knocker.

968
01:30:13,742 --> 01:30:14,844
We've ridden for three days.

969
01:30:14,868 --> 01:30:16,304
We are not leaving
without seeing her.

970
01:30:16,328 --> 01:30:18,944
I'm not concerned with what you
will or will not leave without.

971
01:30:19,039 --> 01:30:20,308
Keep a civil tongue, friend.

972
01:30:20,332 --> 01:30:22,118
Where is she?

973
01:30:22,208 --> 01:30:23,493
I treated her with tea of soot

974
01:30:23,585 --> 01:30:26,076
and pine-tree root to good effect,

975
01:30:26,171 --> 01:30:27,607
but sickness always tests
our willingness

976
01:30:27,631 --> 01:30:29,462
to bow before
the greatest authority.

977
01:30:30,800 --> 01:30:32,665
My guess is that it was diphtheria.

978
01:30:32,761 --> 01:30:33,761
No!

979
01:30:35,347 --> 01:30:37,158
There is some alienation from marital...

980
01:31:57,262 --> 01:31:58,422
What time is it?

981
01:32:01,057 --> 01:32:02,137
I don't care.

982
01:32:15,238 --> 01:32:17,945
- I have to go.
- You're gonna make a Mark.

983
01:32:25,999 --> 01:32:27,034
Come on.

984
01:32:28,418 --> 01:32:29,498
Come on.

985
01:32:31,796 --> 01:32:32,876
Come on.

986
01:33:22,680 --> 01:33:25,296
Sunday, August 31st.

987
01:33:27,102 --> 01:33:29,013
Weather very hot and sunny.

988
01:33:31,106 --> 01:33:32,971
I cleaned out the shed

989
01:33:33,066 --> 01:33:35,432
which was full of rusty
and dusty rubbish,

990
01:33:36,361 --> 01:33:38,568
washed the windows,

991
01:33:38,655 --> 01:33:40,566
and preserved apples
for the winter.

992
01:33:43,618 --> 01:33:46,610
Fourteen dollars from the sale
of our milk and butter.

993
01:33:49,040 --> 01:33:51,281
I have cut my hand
with a paring knife.

994
01:33:54,796 --> 01:33:57,458
I console myself
with the conviction

995
01:33:57,549 --> 01:33:59,631
that someday in the future
when dyer

996
01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:03,255
is forced to travel to Syracuse
for feed or supplies,

997
01:34:04,597 --> 01:34:06,383
I will join him,

998
01:34:06,474 --> 01:34:09,466
and take his rifle
and go to skaneateles

999
01:34:09,561 --> 01:34:11,722
and kill Finney where he sits.

1000
01:34:18,945 --> 01:34:20,901
Dyer has been at work
on the barn.

1001
01:34:26,953 --> 01:34:30,195
Each day,
we enact our separation.

1002
01:34:35,044 --> 01:34:37,626
Sometimes after it gets dark,

1003
01:34:37,714 --> 01:34:40,626
we walk over the hills
across our upper fields

1004
01:34:40,717 --> 01:34:42,298
for the wide, wide view.

1005
01:34:44,971 --> 01:34:47,633
And dyer tries to imagine us
as we were,

1006
01:34:50,351 --> 01:34:52,216
while I try to imagine tallie

1007
01:34:52,312 --> 01:34:54,598
and that cordial and accepting home

1008
01:34:54,689 --> 01:34:56,805
that existed solely in our dreams.

1009
01:34:58,484 --> 01:35:01,601
I imagine tallie and Nellie
somewhere together,

1010
01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:04,358
and Nellie running her brush
through tallie's hair.

1011
01:35:06,576 --> 01:35:09,659
I imagine banishing forever
those sentiments of my own

1012
01:35:09,746 --> 01:35:11,828
that she chastened and refined.

1013
01:35:14,626 --> 01:35:17,834
I imagine resolving to do
what I can for dyer.

1014
01:35:20,882 --> 01:35:23,669
And I imagine continuing
to write in this ledger,

1015
01:35:25,261 --> 01:35:26,967
here,

1016
01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,761
as though this was my life.

1017
01:35:32,018 --> 01:35:34,225
As though my life was not elsewhere.

1018
01:36:10,306 --> 01:36:12,638
I've always feared
that I would bring misfortune

1019
01:36:12,725 --> 01:36:13,965
to those I loved.

1020
01:36:35,290 --> 01:36:37,281
Are you really saying nothing
to that?

1021
01:36:41,421 --> 01:36:43,082
I don't know where to start.

1022
01:36:48,594 --> 01:36:52,007
I can't imagine what more
we could do for one another...

1023
01:36:55,059 --> 01:36:56,799
With our constraints.

1024
01:36:57,979 --> 01:36:59,014
You can't?

1025
01:37:03,943 --> 01:37:05,023
I can't.

1026
01:37:12,368 --> 01:37:13,368
You can't?

1027
01:37:22,879 --> 01:37:23,914
Well, then...

1028
01:37:28,134 --> 01:37:30,546
It's a good thing we remember
that our imaginations

1029
01:37:30,636 --> 01:37:32,467
can always be cultivated.

1030
01:38:49,090 --> 01:38:54,505
J and well beyond

1031
01:38:55,763 --> 01:39:01,383
j the world to come j

1032
01:39:01,477 --> 01:39:06,722
j I'll section my heart and

1033
01:39:06,816 --> 01:39:12,777
j for my own sympathies j

1034
01:39:12,864 --> 01:39:18,575
j and I believe j

1035
01:39:18,661 --> 01:39:24,702
j we shall receive and

1036
01:39:24,792 --> 01:39:29,832
j surrendering hope

1037
01:39:29,922 --> 01:39:34,586
j from a true sovereignty j

1038
01:39:35,636 --> 01:39:40,471
j it was like a dream j

1039
01:39:41,434 --> 01:39:46,428
j you came to be j

1040
01:39:46,522 --> 01:39:51,983
j then happenstance drew you and

1041
01:39:52,069 --> 01:39:56,312
j next Tome and

1042
01:39:57,408 --> 01:40:02,573
j are you the one j

1043
01:40:02,663 --> 01:40:08,033
j to whom I belong j

1044
01:40:08,127 --> 01:40:14,248
j and here stays resembling j

1045
01:40:14,342 --> 01:40:19,962
j my only song j

1046
01:40:20,056 --> 01:40:24,345
j in my world and

1047
01:40:24,435 --> 01:40:28,519
j to come j

1048
01:40:30,983 --> 01:40:35,067
j fate to be j

1049
01:40:35,154 --> 01:40:41,992
j as morning sun j

1050
01:40:42,078 --> 01:40:48,574
j deeply in your arm j

1051
01:40:49,544 --> 01:40:54,880
j to sweet lovers j

1052
01:40:54,966 --> 01:40:59,460
j will succumb and

1053
01:41:00,513 --> 01:41:04,176
j will succumb and

1054
01:41:18,239 --> 01:41:22,357
J why if you were born j

1055
01:41:23,452 --> 01:41:28,788
j the winter's morn j

1056
01:41:28,874 --> 01:41:33,743
j pair of wings carried thee j

1057
01:41:33,838 --> 01:41:38,252
j back Tome j

1058
01:41:38,342 --> 01:41:43,553
j to begin, it means j

1059
01:41:43,639 --> 01:41:48,133
j constancy and

1060
01:41:48,227 --> 01:41:53,472
j beholding the fathomless j

1061
01:41:53,566 --> 01:41:57,605
j destiny

1062
01:41:58,988 --> 01:42:02,105
j in my world and

1063
01:42:02,992 --> 01:42:07,406
j to come j

1064
01:42:09,290 --> 01:42:12,703
j free to be and

1065
01:42:12,793 --> 01:42:16,456
j as one d

1066
01:42:16,547 --> 01:42:20,631
j in some sweet j

1067
01:42:20,718 --> 01:42:26,679
j oblivion and

1068
01:42:26,766 --> 01:42:32,261
j to the sweet nights j

1069
01:42:32,355 --> 01:42:36,189
j will succumb and

1070
01:44:03,028 --> 01:44:08,614
J and well beyond

1071
01:44:08,701 --> 01:44:13,570
j the world to come j

1072
01:44:13,664 --> 01:44:18,078
j a deafening heart j

1073
01:44:18,169 --> 01:44:24,005
j beats fast for thee j