1
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:48,540
That's the worst act I've ever seen in
my life. Now get out and stay out. And

2
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:49,580
take your props with you.

3
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:54,300
Well, this is the 26th theater we got
thrown out of this month.

4
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:58,840
What is there left for us? Four more
theaters. Except February, which has 28.

5
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,680
Quiet. Are you guys still here?

6
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,920
Listen, Mr. Smellington, give us another
chance.

7
00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:08,420
No. You've chased enough customers away.

8
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,340
You guys are a menace to society.

9
00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:14,230
Why don't you climb the tallest building
in town and jump off? That's a fine way

10
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,208
to talk to a professional.

11
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:16,210
Well,

12
00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:21,130
I guess there's nothing left for us to
do but bump ourselves off.

13
00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:22,770
Why didn't we think of that before?

14
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,730
Let's do it right now. Come on.

15
00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:26,430
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

16
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,610
I've got something to do before I die.

17
00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:29,870
What?

18
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,030
Wait a minute.

19
00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:38,980
If you're going to pump yourself off,
what's the idea of eating pie?

20
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,700
So I can digest right.

21
00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:46,060
Come on, we got some croaking to do.

22
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,640
You too.

23
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:52,720
All

24
00:01:52,720 --> 00:02:01,960
right,

25
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000
girls?

26
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,920
Yes. Then let's do it.

27
00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:13,490
What's the big idea?

28
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:19,610
We've nothing to live for. We have a
dancing act, but no theater will hire

29
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:21,750
So we're going to jump and end it all.

30
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:23,030
Move over. You got company.

31
00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:26,850
How do you do?

32
00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:27,769
I'm Larry.

33
00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:32,010
I'm Moe. I'm Curly. I'm Hilda. I'm
Wilder. I'm Tilda.

34
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,370
Look, look, look, look.

35
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:36,250
Those two men down there. They're my
uncles.

36
00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:37,609
Your uncles?

37
00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:40,230
Yeah. They look like ants. They got ants
in their...

38
00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:41,930
Spread out. We've got to jump.

39
00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:45,910
Yes. Let's jump before somebody
interrupts us again.

40
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:49,310
Right. We've got to get this thing over
with. I've got to be at the cleaners at

41
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:50,310
2 o 'clock.

42
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,670
Hey, Porcupine.

43
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,250
What time is it?

44
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:57,910
Let me see. It ought to be about... Hey,
what's the idea of the three watches?

45
00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,430
That's how I tell the time.

46
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,290
What do you mean, that's how you tell
the time? Well, you see, this one runs

47
00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:04,710
minutes fast every two hours.

48
00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:07,490
This one runs 20 minutes slow every four
hours.

49
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,260
The one in the middle is broken. It
stopped at 2 o 'clock.

50
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:12,780
Well, what time is it now?

51
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:16,760
Uh, 3 .15. Simple, isn't it? Yeah, so
are you.

52
00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:19,600
Come on, we gotta start jumping.

53
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,520
Let's get going.

54
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:22,620
Everybody ready?

55
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,080
Yes!

56
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,080
All right, now.

57
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,880
Goodbye, Miss, uh...

58
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:37,760
Wilder. Goodbye, Miss Wilder.

59
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,860
Farewell, my lovely... What's your name?

60
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,180
Tilda. Tilda.

61
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,280
This I like. And I get paid for it, too.

62
00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:53,380
Adios, senorita.

63
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,760
Hilda. Adios, senorita Hilda.

64
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:12,450
Quiet. What's the matter with you? You
want to fall off? Gee, thanks.

65
00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:14,930
You know, a guy can get killed from up
here.

66
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:20,829
You know, honey, this is the most
momentous moment of my life.

67
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:26,030
Oh, how you carry on. You know, when
your eyes look at me, it makes my dreams

68
00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:27,030
happen.

69
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,140
You and I could travel the dusty road of
matrimony in double harness.

70
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,520
Come on, everybody ready?

71
00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,260
Okay!

72
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,800
Okay, one, two.

73
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,020
Two and a half, two and a half. Anybody
make it three?

74
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:52,060
I got two and a half, two and a half,
two and a half, two and a half. Go on to

75
00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:53,260
two and a half, go on to two and a half.

76
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:54,500
Lady, will you make it three?

77
00:04:55,660 --> 00:04:56,660
Two.

78
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,590
Hey, cut it out.

79
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:52,549
Wait a minute.

80
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:53,790
Where's that music coming from?

81
00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:55,150
Well, let's find out.

82
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:18,990
He must have jumped by himself.

83
00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:21,590
Poor Curly.

84
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:23,650
Poor Curly.

85
00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:25,490
Somebody paged me.

86
00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:26,770
His ghost.

87
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,270
Ghost nothing. That's me.

88
00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:29,630
Where did you go?

89
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,890
Took a shortcut.

90
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:31,929
You lunkhead.

91
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:33,530
Oh, oh, oh.

92
00:06:33,990 --> 00:06:35,190
Listen to the music.

93
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:37,050
It's out there. Come on.

94
00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:47,350
Oh, hello there. Hi.

95
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,320
Did you like my music?

96
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:50,660
Oh, swell.

97
00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:52,800
Yeah, but why are you playing up here?

98
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,540
Oh, well, unfortunately, I happen to be
a millionaire. In fact, I'm afflicted

99
00:06:56,540 --> 00:06:57,259
with millions.

100
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:58,260
What a disease.

101
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,200
My family doesn't approve of my playing.
They think it's below my dignity.

102
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,040
So that's why I sneak up here.

103
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,440
Do you happen to be musicians by any
chance?

104
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:06,319
Oh, sure.

105
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,420
I play in five flats and get thrown out
of all of them.

106
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,300
Do you play by ear?

107
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:16,740
Yes.

108
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,560
Get a load of this.

109
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,760
That's clever. That's very clever.

110
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,960
I have just written a musical play, but
I just can't find the proper actors to

111
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:38,699
play in it.

112
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,140
Well, look no further. You've just hired
a complete cast.

113
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,400
How wonderful.

114
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:46,180
But I can only afford to pay you $1 ,000
a week.

115
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,480
Mayor, pen money.

116
00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:49,930
We'll take it. No, no, no, no. Not so
fast.

117
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,270
First, I must have a sample of your
music.

118
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:53,470
Right.

119
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,870
Show them some of your dance stuff,
girls.

120
00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:03,630
Oh, gee, kid, this is our big jab. We've
just got to be good. Right.

121
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:05,230
Play something hot.

122
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,390
You know Swingaroo Joe?

123
00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:09,949
Swing it!

124
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,430
One, two, three, four.

125
00:10:56,819 --> 00:10:57,819
We're ready now.

126
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:23,080
dressed as ballerinas. Of course you
know we're not.

127
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:29,640
And what you're going to see now, folks,
is something we ain't got.

128
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,440
Listen, I'm going to murder you. Can't
you stop it?

129
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,740
Quiet.

130
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,900
Okay, fellas, we've got to get dressed.

131
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,880
Indigestion, one tablet.

132
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,700
Gallstones, two tablets.

133
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,480
Hay fever, three tablets.

134
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:19,720
Ingrown hangnails, four tablets.

135
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,160
Boy, oh, boy.

136
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,620
Hey, Mike, get this guy ready on the
double. Okay.

137
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,400
Hiya, stranger.

138
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,680
How do, bub? Say ah.

139
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:30,020
Ah.

140
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:32,740
Where were you born? In a hospital.

141
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,560
Why? I wanted to be near my mother.

142
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:37,720
Say ah.

143
00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:38,820
Ah.

144
00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:41,020
How old are you, bub? I'm 26.

145
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:44,980
No, you couldn't get that homely in 26
years. Say ah.

146
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,400
Ah.

147
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,960
Listen, you, I mean...

148
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,450
Take off your clothes.

149
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:53,870
Pardon me?

150
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:55,790
I said take off your clothes.

151
00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:58,210
How dare you? I don't even know your
name.

152
00:14:58,570 --> 00:15:02,590
The name is Mike Lippincrantz. Now off
comes the clothes.

153
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,680
Come on.

154
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:30,960
Get up.

155
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,700
Come on. You better get the clothes off.

156
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:35,440
Come on, I tell you.

157
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:39,900
Fancy meeting you here.

158
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:44,420
Why, you... Get it?

159
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,900
Why? I never heard of such a thing.

160
00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:55,680
I never heard of such a thing.

161
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,180
If you ever get in my...

162
00:16:00,850 --> 00:16:05,290
I'm worried if you get in my company...
Oh, stop it, will you? I never heard of

163
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:05,969
such a thing.

164
00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:10,150
Hey, what's going on around here? This
guy won't let me take his clothes off.

165
00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:11,890
Oh, a tough guy, eh?

166
00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:14,630
We'll take care of him right now.

167
00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:19,170
So you want to play rough, eh? Well,
let's.

168
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:22,850
Okay.

169
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,180
You win.

170
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,320
Gee,

171
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,200
that was swell, girls. Oh, wonderful.

172
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,020
Colossal. Oh, you were all terrific.

173
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,480
Thanks. Thanks. I'm doubling your salary
right now.

174
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,580
I throw my money around, I'll bet you
think I'm crazy.

175
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,400
Hello.

176
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:10,880
All right, Mr. Walsh, you better come
home before the woodpeckers get you. I

177
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,240
don't want to go by automobile. I want
to go by train.

178
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:14,940
Okay, we'll go by train.

179
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,520
Oh, choo -choo!

180
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:18,920
All aboard!

181
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:25,839
Oh, no. It can't be.

182
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:27,940
He's as nutty as a nest of cuckoos.