1
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3
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We need to call it, right?

4
00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:07,268
I think so too.

5
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,201
-Hey. Hey, hey.
-What?

6
00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:27,867
Hey.

7
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:30,065
They're sleeping.

8
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,098
I know.
Do you think that--

9
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,465
Should I pack a bag
and check into a hotel?

10
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:34,898
No, no. That's dramatic. What?

11
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,831
No, I know, just with the...

12
00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:38,132
-Or I could--
-What?

13
00:02:38,134 --> 00:02:39,532
I could make up a bed
down on the couch too,

14
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,432
-if that's gonna be...
-No, no, no.

15
00:02:41,434 --> 00:02:42,465
-Really?
-That's not necessary.

16
00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:43,865
Let's just...

17
00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:45,432
-Okay, what--
-Oh...

18
00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:47,432
-Hey, buddy,
-TESS: Hey. Hey, buddy.

19
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,567
-What are you doing up?
-Are you guys fighting?

20
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,434
-No.
-No. No, no, no.

21
00:02:52,235 --> 00:02:54,032
No, actually, we're not--
we're not fighting at all.

22
00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:55,501
We never fight.

23
00:02:56,034 --> 00:02:57,098
That's true.

24
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,933
Go back to bed, baby, okay?

25
00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:02,067
Come here, Charlie.
Come on. Outside.

26
00:03:06,135 --> 00:03:08,467
Come on, Charlie. Charlie, come.

27
00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,235
Come on, Charlie, let's go.

28
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,268
-Our last hurrah.
-What?

29
00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:32,401
-You know, just with the--
-Yeah, yeah.

30
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:35,032
The other day,
we were watching this, like,

31
00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:36,332
just one of those
doomsday docs, right?

32
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:37,565
You know, meteors,
the Earth, wars,

33
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:38,365
-everything, all that stuff.
-Uh-huh.

34
00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:39,565
And so,
you know, he had

35
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,065
the weirdest look on his face.

36
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:42,300
And at the end of the doc,
I looked at him,

37
00:03:42,301 --> 00:03:43,998
and I said, you know,

38
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,432
"How do you feel about that?
Does that bother you? Does it--"

39
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,300
You know,
fully expecting him to be like,

40
00:03:48,301 --> 00:03:50,065
"Hey, what--
What do we do about this?"

41
00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,465
Nothing.

42
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,532
He's perfectly fine
with the world coming to an end.

43
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,332
He literally said,

44
00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:57,233
"Well, you know, I've had
a good life up until now.

45
00:03:57,235 --> 00:03:58,565
What's there to be sad about?"

46
00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:01,898
Jalen, my 17-year-old boy.

47
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,166
First of all,
he's brilliant, right?

48
00:04:03,168 --> 00:04:05,499
He excels at everything
he puts his mind to.

49
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:07,898
But I just thought,
"What kind of mindset is that?"

50
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:11,399
My body does not say it,
but I still feel...

51
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:14,266
like I'm 24 years old, at best.

52
00:04:14,268 --> 00:04:16,066
Thank you, babe.
Shut up, Stephen.

53
00:04:16,068 --> 00:04:17,199
But, you know,
seriously, though.

54
00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:18,898
I'm not ready
for shit to end, right?

55
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:20,534
-Are you? No?
-No.

56
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:23,532
Well, because he lives
in a world with the likelihood

57
00:04:23,534 --> 00:04:25,233
that we may blow ourselves up
at any moment.

58
00:04:25,235 --> 00:04:26,332
What?

59
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,465
But that's nothing new.

60
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,399
We all grew up
during the Cold War.

61
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:29,898
Guys, it isn't that.

62
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:30,931
Yeah, but remember,
we were scared.

63
00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:32,099
It's not that. He's alive.

64
00:04:32,101 --> 00:04:34,199
You know? He just goes.

65
00:04:34,201 --> 00:04:37,499
He goes for it every day.
He crushes it every day.

66
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:38,365
-That's true.
-Mm. Yeah.

67
00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:40,332
And he's
in joy because of it.

68
00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:41,831
How 'bout joy?

69
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:44,033
I mean, it's beautiful.

70
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:46,499
Not giving a fuck about trying
to be like other people

71
00:04:46,501 --> 00:04:48,168
or trying to be a grown-up.

72
00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:50,499
Uh! Fuck!

73
00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:51,831
Wait, are you
talking about me?

74
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,300
No, somebody alive!

75
00:04:53,301 --> 00:04:54,565
-Shit.
-Jesus.

76
00:04:54,567 --> 00:04:56,235
-I was joking!
-Also dead.

77
00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,900
Just joking.

78
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,268
You are so alive, darling.

79
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:03,565
-Hey, I found it!
-"Darling"?

80
00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:05,033
Yes.

81
00:05:05,035 --> 00:05:06,965
-Oh, shit!
-Oh, my God!

82
00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:08,432
-Oh, my gosh.
-Are you all right?

83
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,432
You all right?

84
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,532
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

85
00:05:11,534 --> 00:05:14,199
-Oh, the rug. I'm sorry--
-Fuck. What the absolute fuck?

86
00:05:14,201 --> 00:05:15,432
-Balls!
-I'm sorry!

87
00:05:15,434 --> 00:05:17,266
I'll go. No, no, no, it's okay.

88
00:05:17,268 --> 00:05:19,233
-No, no! There's milk in it!
-I'll get more. I'll get more.

89
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,931
-Balls. No.
-It's right around the corner.

90
00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,099
-She doesn't need it.
-Stay, it's fine.

91
00:05:22,101 --> 00:05:23,233
-It's like every week.
-I'm sorry. Sorry.

92
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:24,565
God.

93
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:25,898
Don't cry
over spilled oat milk, okay?

94
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,365
Yeah, this is fine for you.

95
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,166
-Jesus.
-Oh, my God.

96
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:31,300
-It's literally everyday.
-Balls, it's perfect.

97
00:05:31,301 --> 00:05:32,999
-Thank you.
-You all right?

98
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:36,266
Uh, yeah. I'm a little... I'm
just, like, a little nervous.

99
00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:37,467
-Yeah, you seem it.
-'Cause, uh...

100
00:05:38,467 --> 00:05:40,168
one of the guys is, uh...

101
00:05:42,035 --> 00:05:43,266
not gonna be there
next Saturday matinee,

102
00:05:43,268 --> 00:05:45,101
so if you wanna come...

103
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:48,233
Oh, wow. Shit.
Do you know all his lines?

104
00:05:48,235 --> 00:05:50,235
His lines? Yeah,
I know all the disciples' lines.

105
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,465
-Of Christ?
-Yeah.

106
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:54,599
I'm just so grateful
I can grow such a hefty beard.

107
00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:55,865
You know what I mean?
Do I look like a disciple?

108
00:05:55,867 --> 00:05:57,499
-Babe, what? What?
-Am I doing it wrong? I'm sorry.

109
00:05:57,501 --> 00:05:59,066
No? I'm sorry.

110
00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,898
-Oh, my God.
-This always happens.

111
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,499
Half of me is always
living in the play.

112
00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:03,831
-Jesus.
-Yeah.

113
00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:04,999
It's the burden
of my beautiful wife.

114
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:06,332
Oh, God.

115
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:07,900
You got it, St. Paul.

116
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:11,365
Mm. Living with an artist, guys.
Living with an artist.

117
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:13,033
By the way, Oyster Bay?

118
00:06:13,035 --> 00:06:14,233
-Yeah?
-We call the primary.

119
00:06:14,235 --> 00:06:15,266
Wait, you can't call it
this far out.

120
00:06:15,268 --> 00:06:16,266
Yes, we just did actually.

121
00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:17,399
Why not?
Let them.

122
00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:18,865
What do you mean?
It's not forever.

123
00:06:18,867 --> 00:06:20,565
Let them. Babe,
they're literally newlyweds.

124
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,532
Plus, y'all two always take
the love shack attic anyway.

125
00:06:22,534 --> 00:06:23,999
It's actually perfect.
I love it.

126
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,365
-Hey, you wanna know why?
-Yeah.

127
00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,168
Because we made Jalen there.

128
00:06:27,401 --> 00:06:28,565
We're not making
any more babies.

129
00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:30,033
-Yeah.
-No.

130
00:06:30,035 --> 00:06:31,399
Well, you never know--
Oh no, that's true.

131
00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:32,399
You didn't even make
your first two that way, right?

132
00:06:32,401 --> 00:06:33,599
Okay, wow.

133
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,266
-Dude.
-That's enough.

134
00:06:35,268 --> 00:06:36,399
-No, please. Babe, stop, stop.
-All right. It's okay.

135
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:37,865
-No, but you have to have sex.
-Please stop talking.

136
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:38,932
Okay. Sorry, sorry.

137
00:06:38,934 --> 00:06:40,233
We have sex,
we just didn't--

138
00:06:40,235 --> 00:06:41,532
You know what, you guys,

139
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:42,565
maybe we should just
kinda wrap this thing up?

140
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:43,499
Wait, you did have sex
to make--?

141
00:06:43,501 --> 00:06:44,399
Yeah, yeah.
You know what? We gotta--

142
00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:45,699
That's too much gardening
for you, please.

143
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:49,166
I thought that they put it-- No,
I thought you created a zygote.

144
00:06:49,168 --> 00:06:50,999
-I'm so tired.
-Christine.

145
00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:53,499
-What?
-You baking your cookies?

146
00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:54,999
Oh, um...

147
00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:56,599
Why? Why?
Does it smell like cookies?

148
00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:57,565
Mm-hmm.

149
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:58,865
Really?

150
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:00,033
No, I just-- I think my kitchen

151
00:07:00,035 --> 00:07:02,166
just always smells like that.
You know?

152
00:07:02,168 --> 00:07:04,434
And you know what? Also, I was
heating the food in the oven.

153
00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:06,334
Do you want dessert?

154
00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:09,201
-We called an Uber.
-We have fortune cookies.

155
00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:10,999
Do you remember
Macaulay Culkin?

156
00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:13,233
When they came back,
he was changed forever.

157
00:07:13,235 --> 00:07:15,168
-And I believed it.
-Babe. Let's walk them out.

158
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:17,233
You asked her
about it specifically?

159
00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:18,367
Yeah. She lied.

160
00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:19,833
Oh...

161
00:07:20,768 --> 00:07:23,001
She was hiding 'em
till after we'd all gone.

162
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,334
When they get even
higher as fuck. Right?

163
00:07:29,467 --> 00:07:31,401
And Christine,
when she's not high?

164
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,868
-So grumpy.
-Ugh.

165
00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:38,434
Good thing we didn't tell 'em.

166
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,201
Would've been too much
for them to take.

167
00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:00,301
Maybe I laid it on
a little too thick.

168
00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:01,467
Too thick?

169
00:08:03,035 --> 00:08:04,235
What?

170
00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:07,365
Why, 'cause one time
you called me darling?

171
00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:08,334
That's like...

172
00:08:10,035 --> 00:08:11,599
I mean, if that's your idea

173
00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:13,932
of laying it on too thick,
I mean, that's--

174
00:08:13,934 --> 00:08:15,268
Okay, okay!

175
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:26,834
You took one?

176
00:08:27,168 --> 00:08:28,401
Fuck yeah.

177
00:08:29,135 --> 00:08:33,367
When I went to the bathroom,
I was stealing it.

178
00:08:35,934 --> 00:08:37,135
It's gonna make you
really fucking high.

179
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:40,068
That's the idea.

180
00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:45,968
Mm.

181
00:08:59,235 --> 00:09:00,434
Fuck it.

182
00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:11,534
You ate more than I did.

183
00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:20,099
Oh shit, that was
probably really stupid.

184
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,201
I love it.

185
00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:24,401
Oh, my God.

186
00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:36,033
Wait. What are you doing?

187
00:09:36,035 --> 00:09:37,068
Oh, my God. What am I doing?

188
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:39,467
Sorry. Shit.

189
00:09:42,035 --> 00:09:43,099
Oh!

190
00:09:43,101 --> 00:09:44,035
Shit.

191
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:46,035
Hey. Hey!

192
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:48,801
You okay?

193
00:09:49,268 --> 00:09:51,068
Are you gonna be okay?

194
00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:54,567
-I think so.
-Yeah?

195
00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:57,199
You're okay?

196
00:09:57,201 --> 00:09:59,068
Yeah. The cookie
hasn't hit me yet.

197
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,599
I'm gonna be okay.

198
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,534
I'll be okay.

199
00:10:18,268 --> 00:10:19,868
Holy shit.

200
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,235
What's up?

201
00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:12,465
I just wanna come in
and get a drink.

202
00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:13,501
Yeah, 15 buck cover.

203
00:11:15,135 --> 00:11:16,901
-To get a drink?
-It's comedy.

204
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:20,334
Is it funny?

205
00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:23,367
It's 15 bucks, man.

206
00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:25,300
Yeah, you already said that.

207
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:27,332
Look, man, I don't have
any money on me.

208
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,901
Yeah, I don't know
what to tell you.

209
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:31,099
-Hey.
-Yo.

210
00:11:31,101 --> 00:11:32,135
-Good luck.
-Thank you.

211
00:11:33,534 --> 00:11:35,033
How come she didn't
have to pay 15 bucks?

212
00:11:35,035 --> 00:11:36,101
She put her name down.

213
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,434
<i>Well, you're welcome.</i>

214
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,868
All right. Alex Novak,
downstairs in two minutes.

215
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:47,834
That's me.

216
00:11:48,301 --> 00:11:49,501
Well, you better
head down there, then.

217
00:11:50,235 --> 00:11:52,066
-Where?
-Just straight behind you.

218
00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:53,268
Down the stairs.

219
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,899
Hey, hey. Hey.

220
00:12:02,901 --> 00:12:04,834
Why don't you leave that right
over there with the other ones?

221
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:06,934
-Right here?
-Yeah. They'll watch it.

222
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:11,901
Okay.

223
00:12:19,602 --> 00:12:20,600
Oh, my God.
It's completely different.

224
00:12:20,602 --> 00:12:22,899
Like, you cannot have
casual sex with a woman.

225
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,199
Okay? You can't do it.

226
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:27,566
You have to buy her dinner,
um, at least.

227
00:12:27,568 --> 00:12:29,334
With men, I am the dinner.

228
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,099
It's easy. It's easy.
It's simple. It's simple.

229
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,832
-Sorry.
-What up, man?

230
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,401
-They called me.
-Yeah.

231
00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:40,301
When you see the light,
just get off, all right?

232
00:12:41,901 --> 00:12:43,999
There you go.
Just talk to 'em, have fun.

233
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,465
...orgasm from
a man who embarrasses you.

234
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:48,235
No, I'm leaving.
I'm leaving. I'm going.

235
00:12:51,068 --> 00:12:52,465
Okay.

236
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:55,099
That's Rolo, everybody!
That was really funny.

237
00:12:55,101 --> 00:12:57,999
Alrighty, I got a lot
of familiar names on here,

238
00:12:58,001 --> 00:12:59,832
but I'm gonna shake it up a bit.

239
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:03,365
Uh, let's put your hands
together for Alec Novak?

240
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,602
Alec Novak.

241
00:13:07,035 --> 00:13:08,401
Alec Novak, everybody.

242
00:13:10,301 --> 00:13:11,101
Alec!

243
00:13:26,201 --> 00:13:27,434
Um...

244
00:13:32,301 --> 00:13:34,001
I don't have a ton of jokes.

245
00:13:36,535 --> 00:13:38,199
And, uh...

246
00:13:38,201 --> 00:13:41,467
Actually my name is
Alex Novak, uh, for that lady.

247
00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:45,101
It's okay.

248
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,568
My parents won't be mad.

249
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,101
Um...

250
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:55,135
What do I tell ya?

251
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,901
Um...

252
00:14:01,201 --> 00:14:02,968
I think I'm getting a divorce.

253
00:14:04,934 --> 00:14:06,035
Yeah.

254
00:14:09,401 --> 00:14:11,133
What tipped me off was that, uh,

255
00:14:11,135 --> 00:14:13,602
I'm living, um,
in an apartment on my own.

256
00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:16,999
Yeah.

257
00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:19,235
And my wife and kids
don't live there. So...

258
00:14:22,602 --> 00:14:24,301
That was probably the--
the biggest clue.

259
00:14:27,068 --> 00:14:28,068
Um...

260
00:14:36,401 --> 00:14:38,535
I was, uh... Well,
I was married for 20 years.

261
00:14:40,135 --> 00:14:41,968
Yeah.

262
00:14:42,568 --> 00:14:44,568
Uh, engaged--
Uh, engaged for two years.

263
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,068
Dated for three.

264
00:14:50,135 --> 00:14:53,435
And... met a year before that.

265
00:14:55,934 --> 00:14:57,334
So, 26 years.

266
00:15:00,135 --> 00:15:01,201
Which makes sense...

267
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:04,899
now, because my wife used to say
being married to me

268
00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:06,402
was like running a marathon.

269
00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:12,402
I don't really know
what happened, um...

270
00:15:15,135 --> 00:15:16,332
to my marriage.
Uh...

271
00:15:16,334 --> 00:15:21,001
I came home one day, um...
and my...

272
00:15:23,301 --> 00:15:25,068
I guess, still wife, but...

273
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,068
Uh, Tess was her name.

274
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:33,168
Her name is still Tess.

275
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,301
I plan on, uh, letting her
keep that in the divorce.

276
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:43,332
Um...

277
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:46,135
Yeah, I-- I came home,
and, um...

278
00:15:46,868 --> 00:15:49,535
there was a conversation,
I remember, and somebody said...

279
00:15:52,068 --> 00:15:56,068
It, um...
"Should we end this thing?"

280
00:15:56,568 --> 00:15:58,301
And then there was an agreement.

281
00:16:00,035 --> 00:16:02,035
Um, I'm pretty sure she said--

282
00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:06,201
This is what she meant
about not paying attention.

283
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,301
Yeah, she-- I came home.

284
00:16:12,934 --> 00:16:14,368
And, uh...

285
00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:17,868
I guess we both agreed
it was over.

286
00:16:18,235 --> 00:16:21,402
Which is awesome...
that at least we agreed on that.

287
00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:26,500
It was less awesome
for our two kids.

288
00:16:26,502 --> 00:16:28,966
Yeah.

289
00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:30,135
It's okay. They're ten.

290
00:16:32,602 --> 00:16:34,335
The-- They're not--
They're not twins.

291
00:16:35,301 --> 00:16:36,502
They're Irish twins.

292
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:40,001
Which is...

293
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,901
...why I pulled an Irish goodbye
when I left.

294
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,435
Oh, come on.

295
00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:49,333
I thought you guys told--

296
00:16:49,335 --> 00:16:50,566
I thought this
was a comedy...

297
00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,801
...show.

298
00:16:55,402 --> 00:16:56,834
Anyway, um...

299
00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:00,502
I think I earned my keep here.
Um...

300
00:17:03,602 --> 00:17:05,468
What do I say? My name's Alex.

301
00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:11,866
Alex Novak, everybody.

302
00:17:11,868 --> 00:17:13,267
Sorry.
Is there a bathroom here?

303
00:17:13,269 --> 00:17:17,366
Wow. All right,
let's hear it for Jill McKenzie.

304
00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:20,468
There she is. There she is.

305
00:17:22,068 --> 00:17:24,233
Keep it going for Kemp,
you guys. Kemp rules.

306
00:17:24,235 --> 00:17:25,302
What's up?

307
00:17:26,235 --> 00:17:28,366
The side part
is the skinny part. Agreed?

308
00:17:28,368 --> 00:17:31,199
Now, the skinny part,
the side part-- same part.

309
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,500
Same size, same part.
You know what I'm talking about?

310
00:17:33,502 --> 00:17:35,233
You take it out and--

311
00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:37,502
<i>♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪</i>

312
00:17:38,168 --> 00:17:40,435
<i>♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪</i>

313
00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,868
You have to favor a labia?

314
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:45,502
<i>♪ We've conquered</i>
<i>All of Europe ♪</i>

315
00:17:46,068 --> 00:17:47,968
<i>♪ We're never gonna stop ♪</i>

316
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,269
<i>♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪</i>

317
00:17:52,568 --> 00:17:54,868
<i>♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪</i>

318
00:17:55,535 --> 00:17:57,066
because she wants me
to feel good.

319
00:17:57,068 --> 00:17:58,999
Like, for instance,
she's like a hot girl.

320
00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:00,300
You know what I mean?
Like, she has the vagina

321
00:18:00,302 --> 00:18:01,966
that fits the little underwear,
okay?

322
00:18:01,968 --> 00:18:03,300
She goes... And she...

323
00:18:03,302 --> 00:18:05,033
What was the advice she gave me?

324
00:18:05,035 --> 00:18:06,199
Oh, she said, "Boundaries?"

325
00:18:06,201 --> 00:18:07,333
You guys know
about these boundaries?

326
00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:08,932
You guys talk
about these boundaries?

327
00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:10,333
-She goes...
-First time?

328
00:18:10,335 --> 00:18:12,066
She goes, um, "You need to learn
how to set boundaries."

329
00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:13,433
Yeah.

330
00:18:13,435 --> 00:18:14,966
Stick around.
Support your fellow comics.

331
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,500
"I told my boyfriend
he has to text me

332
00:18:16,502 --> 00:18:18,166
every night before bed,

333
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:19,934
'Goodnight, I love you'
or it's over."

334
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,333
And she goes, "Now, he texts me
every night before bed,

335
00:18:24,335 --> 00:18:26,500
'Goodnight, I love you.'
And now everything's great."

336
00:18:26,502 --> 00:18:28,932
And I was like, "Oh, thank--
thank you. Thanks."

337
00:18:28,934 --> 00:18:31,466
If I said that to any man I've
ever dated, they would be like,

338
00:18:31,468 --> 00:18:32,966
"Oh, perfect.
I was on the fence anyway.

339
00:18:32,968 --> 00:18:34,035
Get the fuck outta here, bitch."

340
00:18:35,468 --> 00:18:37,832
You know what, I'm not
fucking calling in favors.

341
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:39,566
With me in a relationship,
it's me going, "No, dude."

342
00:18:39,568 --> 00:18:42,466
I... I gotta date better men.
I have to.

343
00:18:42,468 --> 00:18:44,400
My girlfriends are dating men
who are, like,

344
00:18:44,402 --> 00:18:46,999
running 10Ks
on the weekends for fun.

345
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,466
My ex wouldn't let me touch his
<i>Magic: The Gathering</i> cards

346
00:18:49,468 --> 00:18:51,600
'cause he was worried
that I would bend them.

347
00:18:51,602 --> 00:18:54,068
They didn't say nothing
about my sister's new ass.

348
00:18:54,335 --> 00:18:55,566
Not even a warning.

349
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,966
Just a warning
would have been nice.

350
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,333
Something. Anything.

351
00:18:58,335 --> 00:19:00,400
"Hey Reggie, go in the kitchen.

352
00:19:00,402 --> 00:19:02,366
Meg Thee Stallion is in there."

353
00:19:02,368 --> 00:19:05,033
Now, I don't feel bad for
looking at my sister's new butt.

354
00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:07,099
...on PS5. Kung fu game.

355
00:19:07,101 --> 00:19:08,101
Got it right now?

356
00:20:05,602 --> 00:20:07,267
So, what happens now?

357
00:20:07,269 --> 00:20:09,568
Between, you know,
Mom and you?

358
00:20:10,136 --> 00:20:11,500
What do you mean?

359
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:14,999
Well, you know, you guys
told us that you separated?

360
00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:16,366
Yeah.

361
00:20:16,368 --> 00:20:18,368
Does that mean you're
going to get divorced?

362
00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:21,234
Well, I...

363
00:20:21,236 --> 00:20:22,899
-Remember that dragon?
-What dragon?

364
00:20:22,901 --> 00:20:24,966
At the... at the assembly.

365
00:20:24,968 --> 00:20:27,100
The school assembly.
The big red dragon.

366
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:29,001
You mean the lion?

367
00:20:29,302 --> 00:20:30,899
Was it a lion?
Looked like a dragon.

368
00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:32,167
It only had two people in it.

369
00:20:32,169 --> 00:20:33,832
Huh.

370
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,566
What does a dragon
have to do with anything?

371
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,267
-It was a lion.
-Whatever it was,

372
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:38,966
-lion or dragon.
-Lion.

373
00:20:38,968 --> 00:20:41,067
It was big and it was brave,

374
00:20:41,069 --> 00:20:43,100
and that's what I need
you guys to be.

375
00:20:43,102 --> 00:20:44,600
That's not it at all.

376
00:20:44,602 --> 00:20:46,200
The lion chews up the lettuce,

377
00:20:46,202 --> 00:20:48,433
and that brings us wealth
and prosperity for the new year.

378
00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:51,035
Right. That's it.
That's exactly it. Right.

379
00:20:51,502 --> 00:20:53,234
Are you going
to feed the lion, Dad?

380
00:20:53,236 --> 00:20:54,834
Me? I don't know, I...

381
00:20:55,302 --> 00:20:57,100
Are you?

382
00:20:57,102 --> 00:20:59,500
I fed it because I have goals
this year I want to achieve.

383
00:20:59,502 --> 00:21:00,999
Do you have goals, Dad?

384
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:02,300
No, of course I do. Of course--

385
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,102
-Dad, you should have goals.
-We have goals.

386
00:21:06,335 --> 00:21:07,300
Good night, guys.

387
00:21:07,302 --> 00:21:08,234
-Settle in.
-Dad--

388
00:21:08,236 --> 00:21:09,267
Settle in. All right.

389
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,999
-Love you.
-Love you, too.

390
00:21:11,001 --> 00:21:12,932
Get down there. Get down there.

391
00:21:12,934 --> 00:21:14,834
All right, you guys.
Good night, guys.

392
00:21:16,169 --> 00:21:17,868
-No talking, all right, guys?
-Okay.

393
00:21:26,269 --> 00:21:28,267
I haven't told your father.

394
00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:29,366
What?

395
00:21:29,368 --> 00:21:31,134
<i>Entre nous.</i>

396
00:21:31,136 --> 00:21:33,466
No, Mom, there is no <i>entre nous.</i>
We don't have any secrets.

397
00:21:33,468 --> 00:21:35,167
The boys know everything.
You don't have to whisper.

398
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:36,466
Well, you don't have
to embarrass me.

399
00:21:36,468 --> 00:21:37,566
I just told you
your father doesn't know.

400
00:21:37,568 --> 00:21:39,300
-Okay--
-What doesn't Grandpa know?

401
00:21:39,302 --> 00:21:41,034
That Mom and I are splitting up.

402
00:21:41,036 --> 00:21:42,400
Oh.

403
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:43,566
Think you should tell him, Dada.

404
00:21:43,568 --> 00:21:45,134
-Great.
-Yes, son, that's up to you.

405
00:21:45,136 --> 00:21:46,234
It's got nothing to do with me.

406
00:21:46,236 --> 00:21:47,400
Yeah, well tell that
to our marriage.

407
00:21:47,402 --> 00:21:49,067
Look how you're going on.

408
00:21:49,069 --> 00:21:52,267
And stop being jealous
of my friendship with Tess.

409
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,866
I adore her. I love her so much.

410
00:21:54,868 --> 00:21:56,333
-Dad! Dad?
-Yeah. I know it. What?

411
00:21:56,335 --> 00:21:57,832
-And you know something?
-Dad!

412
00:21:57,834 --> 00:22:00,034
Look, you two have always
been very different.

413
00:22:00,036 --> 00:22:00,899
Yeah, and you
and Dad are twins?

414
00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:02,200
Dad? Dad?

415
00:22:02,202 --> 00:22:03,899
Your father is an immigrant
to this country.

416
00:22:03,901 --> 00:22:05,832
-I know that.
-And I've always been a woman

417
00:22:05,834 --> 00:22:07,134
who wants the taste
of the exotic.

418
00:22:07,136 --> 00:22:08,932
-And that's what makes it work.
-Mom! Jesus, Mom.

419
00:22:08,934 --> 00:22:09,932
I'm just saying this
in front of the children...

420
00:22:09,934 --> 00:22:11,366
Can I have another apple juice?

421
00:22:11,368 --> 00:22:12,533
-I already said no.
-...because there's no secrets,

422
00:22:12,535 --> 00:22:15,566
-so... Just pick a lane, okay?
-I know.

423
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,402
-Why not?
-For crying out loud.

424
00:22:18,169 --> 00:22:19,267
Felix, it's your turn.

425
00:22:19,269 --> 00:22:21,067
Mom, do you have any...

426
00:22:21,069 --> 00:22:22,500
Do you have any more
of those juice boxes?

427
00:22:22,502 --> 00:22:24,433
Your father drank them all.

428
00:22:24,435 --> 00:22:26,433
It's got little pretzels on it.

429
00:22:26,435 --> 00:22:28,433
They're all individual pretzels?

430
00:22:28,435 --> 00:22:30,134
They all started individual,

431
00:22:30,136 --> 00:22:32,400
and then I, uh, glued
most of them together.

432
00:22:32,402 --> 00:22:33,533
Oh, oh.

433
00:22:33,535 --> 00:22:35,234
There's one or two separate.

434
00:22:35,236 --> 00:22:36,899
And you have the mustard
and the ketchup there, too.

435
00:22:36,901 --> 00:22:37,967
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

436
00:22:37,969 --> 00:22:39,433
But the guy's got the day off.

437
00:22:39,435 --> 00:22:40,932
You know?

438
00:22:40,934 --> 00:22:42,267
He's got the day off
like the rest of the town.

439
00:22:42,269 --> 00:22:44,169
Everybody's taking today off.

440
00:22:45,069 --> 00:22:47,169
She thinks I don't know,
but I know.

441
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,234
Here, put that there.

442
00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:50,069
And, uh...

443
00:22:51,602 --> 00:22:53,269
For me, it's no big deal.

444
00:22:54,202 --> 00:22:57,167
Well, it is kind
of a big deal, Dad.

445
00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:58,500
I think that we're
gonna get divorced.

446
00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:00,400
Ah, okay. Slow down.

447
00:23:00,402 --> 00:23:02,502
Slow down.

448
00:23:04,302 --> 00:23:06,202
Clean your plates everyone.

449
00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:08,236
Grandma,
do you have any Jell-O?

450
00:23:08,535 --> 00:23:10,136
-In the fridge.
-Okay.

451
00:23:12,136 --> 00:23:14,366
That's not what's
going on. Nobody cheated.

452
00:23:14,368 --> 00:23:16,967
Yeah, well,
so what is the problem then?

453
00:23:16,969 --> 00:23:17,801
I don't know, it's...

454
00:23:19,935 --> 00:23:21,167
...complicated.

455
00:23:21,169 --> 00:23:22,335
It's complicated.

456
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:25,868
You don't have to tell me that.

457
00:25:25,535 --> 00:25:27,935
Is Dada going to be okay?

458
00:25:28,302 --> 00:25:30,867
Of course. What do you mean?

459
00:25:30,869 --> 00:25:34,067
I don't know,
he's just out there. On his own.

460
00:25:34,069 --> 00:25:35,333
But he's not alone.

461
00:25:35,335 --> 00:25:37,600
He loves when you boys
stay with him.

462
00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:40,500
-But he sleeps on the couch.
-Huh?

463
00:25:40,502 --> 00:25:42,167
We sleep in his bed.

464
00:25:42,169 --> 00:25:43,568
Yeah, it's awesome.

465
00:25:44,202 --> 00:25:45,236
Great.

466
00:26:05,036 --> 00:26:07,335
For fuck's sake.

467
00:26:12,402 --> 00:26:14,169
Hey there, I'm Alex Novak.

468
00:26:15,036 --> 00:26:16,236
How you doing tonight?

469
00:26:16,969 --> 00:26:19,333
Once again I didn't want
to pay the 15 bucks,

470
00:26:19,335 --> 00:26:21,368
so... here I am.

471
00:26:23,935 --> 00:26:25,433
No, I'm joking, and...

472
00:26:25,435 --> 00:26:27,435
No, no, no, I'm joking. I, uh...

473
00:26:28,435 --> 00:26:30,833
I didn't pay last time, but
I was willing to pay this time,

474
00:26:30,835 --> 00:26:31,635
but I wanted to, uh...

475
00:26:33,335 --> 00:26:35,967
I said, uh,
I wanted to have fun.

476
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,167
Wanted to have fun here tonight.

477
00:26:37,169 --> 00:26:38,502
Anybody else wanna have fun?

478
00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:40,933
Yeah?

479
00:26:40,935 --> 00:26:43,366
You know, I recently got fired.

480
00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:46,136
It's the fucking fifth time
I've been fired.

481
00:26:47,468 --> 00:26:49,335
I've only had three jobs.

482
00:26:52,835 --> 00:26:55,435
That means I've gotten fired
from two jobs fucking twice.

483
00:26:57,402 --> 00:26:58,533
Funny how things change...

484
00:26:58,535 --> 00:26:59,833
Bathroom's straight down
and to the right.

485
00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:01,200
No, I think I'm next on the...

486
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:02,134
How things
become cool and uncool.

487
00:27:02,136 --> 00:27:03,267
They called my name.

488
00:27:03,269 --> 00:27:05,466
I drive a Tesla.

489
00:27:05,468 --> 00:27:06,468
And, um...

490
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,366
I just have one question.

491
00:27:09,368 --> 00:27:12,900
Can you stop keying
my fucking car?

492
00:27:12,902 --> 00:27:14,500
So, a couple months into it,

493
00:27:14,502 --> 00:27:18,200
they bring my folks in
for like a parent's day.

494
00:27:18,202 --> 00:27:20,900
They kind of catch them up
on our progress, you know?

495
00:27:20,902 --> 00:27:23,269
I'm-- I'm a teenager
at this point and, uh...

496
00:27:23,969 --> 00:27:26,500
So they come in and,
and Pete says, you know,

497
00:27:26,502 --> 00:27:28,034
"Alex has been great.

498
00:27:28,036 --> 00:27:29,466
He's opened up,
and this is what's going on,

499
00:27:29,468 --> 00:27:31,100
and this is how
he feels about this

500
00:27:31,102 --> 00:27:33,600
and this dynamic
that's going on at home."

501
00:27:33,602 --> 00:27:35,535
My parents just kind of listen.

502
00:27:36,169 --> 00:27:38,833
We're driving home,
little while later.

503
00:27:38,835 --> 00:27:40,200
And I remember this so clearly.

504
00:27:40,202 --> 00:27:43,566
I was in the back seat
of my mom's station wagon.

505
00:27:43,568 --> 00:27:45,134
But my dad was driving.
Doesn't matter.

506
00:27:45,136 --> 00:27:46,967
If my Dad was in the car,
he was always driving,

507
00:27:46,969 --> 00:27:49,433
even though it was
my mom's station wagon.

508
00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:53,000
And I remember her being
in the passenger seat

509
00:27:53,002 --> 00:27:56,468
and spinning around,
and looking at me and saying,

510
00:27:57,468 --> 00:28:00,335
"How dare you tell this stranger
all our family secrets."

511
00:28:03,269 --> 00:28:06,234
And I was like,
"You made go talk to the guy.

512
00:28:06,236 --> 00:28:09,200
You literally paid the guy
to listen to the problem.

513
00:28:09,202 --> 00:28:11,867
You set this up.
You drove me there."

514
00:28:11,869 --> 00:28:13,067
That's insane.

515
00:28:13,069 --> 00:28:14,335
That would be like...

516
00:28:15,368 --> 00:28:16,833
That would be like--
That'd be like your partner

517
00:28:16,835 --> 00:28:18,869
driving you to an orgy...

518
00:28:20,368 --> 00:28:21,933
...and then saying,

519
00:28:21,935 --> 00:28:24,102
"I can't believe
you fucked all those people."

520
00:28:26,036 --> 00:28:28,500
"That was the point
of being there in the--

521
00:28:28,502 --> 00:28:32,169
You knew where I was going.
I was naked in the car."

522
00:28:33,869 --> 00:28:35,500
Anyway, uh, this is, uh...

523
00:28:35,502 --> 00:28:36,900
Boy, this is starting
to actually get good

524
00:28:36,902 --> 00:28:38,200
and now my time is up.

525
00:28:38,202 --> 00:28:40,202
This is so awesome.
I will see you next time.

526
00:28:41,969 --> 00:28:43,833
Same place. I'm coming back.
We'll meet here, all right?

527
00:28:43,835 --> 00:28:45,333
We'll all meet here.
All right, I've been Alex Novak.

528
00:28:45,335 --> 00:28:46,833
Thank you so much.

529
00:28:46,835 --> 00:28:48,566
Sad guy, you hanging out?

530
00:28:48,568 --> 00:28:50,234
Everyone's hanging out
in the back booth to the right.

531
00:28:50,236 --> 00:28:51,200
We got
some actually funny people

532
00:28:51,202 --> 00:28:53,167
-coming to the stage next.
-Okay, thank you.

533
00:28:53,169 --> 00:28:54,400
Good.
It takes the pressure off.

534
00:28:54,402 --> 00:28:55,900
That's how I feel about my dog.

535
00:28:55,902 --> 00:28:57,034
Hey.

536
00:28:57,036 --> 00:28:58,300
-Cool to sit down here?
-Yeah.

537
00:28:58,302 --> 00:29:00,234
-Look who's back.
-Just talked to Rolo upstairs.

538
00:29:00,236 --> 00:29:02,000
Hey, I remember you
from my-- Yeah.

539
00:29:02,002 --> 00:29:04,366
-What up? Dan. What up?
-Alex.

540
00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:06,833
How'd it go?
I'm surprised you back.

541
00:29:06,835 --> 00:29:07,833
-Really?
-Yeah.

542
00:29:07,835 --> 00:29:09,167
-That bad?
-Yeah, I mean...

543
00:29:09,169 --> 00:29:10,533
-It wasn't bad.
-It wasn't.

544
00:29:10,535 --> 00:29:12,100
-What do you even do?
-Just say it.

545
00:29:12,102 --> 00:29:13,466
-He's gonna ask for a job.
-Come on, what is it?

546
00:29:13,468 --> 00:29:15,067
I work in finance.

547
00:29:15,069 --> 00:29:16,300
If you wanna do it again,
I'll tell you the website.

548
00:29:16,302 --> 00:29:17,466
Just DM me.

549
00:29:17,468 --> 00:29:19,002
-All right.
-Yeah. Just...

550
00:29:19,435 --> 00:29:21,933
All the mics in the city,
badsaliva.com.

551
00:29:21,935 --> 00:29:23,569
And just, keep going up.

552
00:29:24,435 --> 00:29:26,536
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta
go up five, six times a week.

553
00:29:28,202 --> 00:29:29,466
-Yeah.
-Five or six times?

554
00:29:29,468 --> 00:29:31,267
No, sometimes we go
five a night.

555
00:29:31,269 --> 00:29:32,567
On long nights, yeah.

556
00:29:32,569 --> 00:29:33,967
If you have like a bit
you wanna work out,

557
00:29:33,969 --> 00:29:35,500
you go five times
by the end of the night.

558
00:29:35,502 --> 00:29:37,567
You got a spot.
Five minutes around the corner.

559
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:39,067
-I'm Alex.
-Lovely.

560
00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:40,466
That's the manager,
and this is the one--

561
00:29:40,468 --> 00:29:41,433
-Oh.
-So, yeah, I have--

562
00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:43,300
Don't make eye contact
with her. Jesus.

563
00:29:43,302 --> 00:29:44,867
-Yeah, look down.
-Shut up.

564
00:29:44,869 --> 00:29:46,167
-I have four rooms.
-Sorry.

565
00:29:46,169 --> 00:29:48,567
You can see downstairs
where you just were.

566
00:29:48,569 --> 00:29:49,435
Yeah.

567
00:29:50,036 --> 00:29:51,200
Stop showing off
in front of your friend

568
00:29:51,202 --> 00:29:52,466
with Laverne
and Shirley back there.

569
00:29:52,468 --> 00:29:54,100
Fuck you!

570
00:29:54,102 --> 00:29:55,967
-We got jobs.
-I'm Laverne. I'm Laverne.

571
00:29:55,969 --> 00:29:57,167
What's your name again?

572
00:29:57,169 --> 00:29:59,034
-Alex.
-Alex, come here.

573
00:29:59,036 --> 00:30:00,935
-Hey man, that's my white slave.
-Shut up.

574
00:30:02,069 --> 00:30:03,267
You can have him.
Take him.

575
00:30:03,269 --> 00:30:05,234
Come talk
to some real comedians.

576
00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:06,433
What's up, man?

577
00:30:06,435 --> 00:30:08,136
Yo, you hold my pocket
when we leave.

578
00:30:10,402 --> 00:30:13,134
You can't treat comedy
like prison, man, Dan.

579
00:30:13,136 --> 00:30:14,466
He's <i>Scared Straight</i> -ing him.

580
00:30:14,468 --> 00:30:16,867
-Dan, don't <i>Scared Straight</i> him.
-He's scared straight.

581
00:30:16,869 --> 00:30:18,333
He's scared white.

582
00:30:18,335 --> 00:30:20,100
You gonna be all right.
How often are you getting up?

583
00:30:20,102 --> 00:30:22,534
I don't know, man.
Tonight was my second time.

584
00:30:22,536 --> 00:30:24,067
I put it to you like,
my pop used to let me

585
00:30:24,069 --> 00:30:25,967
watch <i>Def Jam</i> when I was six,

586
00:30:25,969 --> 00:30:28,400
but he would act like he
was telling me not to watch it.

587
00:30:28,402 --> 00:30:31,100
"Hey, me and your stepmom
are watchin' the program.

588
00:30:31,102 --> 00:30:33,534
It's on HBO. Go upstairs
and watch something else."

589
00:30:33,536 --> 00:30:35,300
And then wink at me.
And I'll be like, "Oh, shit."

590
00:30:35,302 --> 00:30:37,433
I actually got caught by my dad.

591
00:30:37,435 --> 00:30:39,167
I was trying to watch porn.

592
00:30:39,169 --> 00:30:40,833
You know, like, the,
the late night HBO,

593
00:30:40,835 --> 00:30:42,400
the <i>Taxicab Confessions</i>
or whatever.

594
00:30:42,402 --> 00:30:44,333
-Oh, yeah. <i>Real Sex.</i>
-I was trying to watch porn,

595
00:30:44,335 --> 00:30:47,567
and it was <i>Def Comedy Jam,</i>
and I saw Greer Barnes on stage

596
00:30:47,569 --> 00:30:50,134
doing a joke about Mike Tyson
and Arnold Schwarzenegger

597
00:30:50,136 --> 00:30:51,400
sharing a jail cell together.

598
00:30:51,402 --> 00:30:53,100
I was dying laughing,

599
00:30:53,102 --> 00:30:55,034
and I asked my dad,
I was like, "Is that a job?"

600
00:30:55,036 --> 00:30:57,433
And he was like, "Yeah.
You gotta go to college first."

601
00:30:57,435 --> 00:30:59,400
-Been doing jokes ever since.
-Gotta get up everyday.

602
00:30:59,402 --> 00:31:01,900
Open that diary,
Anne Frank. Get to it.

603
00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:03,200
What? What's wrong?

604
00:31:03,202 --> 00:31:04,833
You guys just
write stuff down all day?

605
00:31:04,835 --> 00:31:06,400
I said to open up his diary
if he gonna write any jokes.

606
00:31:06,402 --> 00:31:07,967
-You gotta write.
-Work on your craft.

607
00:31:07,969 --> 00:31:10,102
You gotta write.

608
00:31:25,503 --> 00:31:28,835
Just-- I was just watching CNN,
and they say it's official,

609
00:31:30,169 --> 00:31:31,969
according to scientists...

610
00:31:32,402 --> 00:31:35,067
No. According to scientists,
it's official,

611
00:31:35,069 --> 00:31:36,469
guys get hotter with age.

612
00:31:37,835 --> 00:31:39,366
Big win.

613
00:31:39,368 --> 00:31:41,833
Then we convinced them,
you know what's really hot?

614
00:31:41,835 --> 00:31:42,569
Dad bods.

615
00:31:43,536 --> 00:31:44,967
You kiddin' me? We're on a roll.

616
00:31:44,969 --> 00:31:46,567
It's like, we're playing
with house money now.

617
00:31:46,569 --> 00:31:48,933
What else--
What else can we get away with?

618
00:31:48,935 --> 00:31:50,969
You know what's super hot?
Being poor.

619
00:32:08,469 --> 00:32:10,234
-He stole it.
-You can't take--

620
00:32:10,236 --> 00:32:11,467
-Hello. Good morning. Hi.
-He doesn't even need it.

621
00:32:11,469 --> 00:32:12,401
-Hey. Hi.
-Hey.

622
00:32:12,403 --> 00:32:13,867
Hey. Look who's here?

623
00:32:13,869 --> 00:32:15,100
-Hi, guys! Hi! Hi, guys.
-Dad?

624
00:32:15,102 --> 00:32:16,467
I thought Mom
was taking us to school.

625
00:32:16,469 --> 00:32:17,867
-Yeah, me too.
-Yeah, I know.

626
00:32:17,869 --> 00:32:19,900
But maybe
there's a surprise outside

627
00:32:19,902 --> 00:32:21,401
and maybe this
has something to do with it.

628
00:32:21,403 --> 00:32:22,567
Is that a new car?

629
00:32:22,569 --> 00:32:23,867
I don't know if the term "car"

630
00:32:23,869 --> 00:32:25,034
really does it
any kind of justice.

631
00:32:25,036 --> 00:32:26,333
-Alex.
-Let's go. It's right outside.

632
00:32:26,335 --> 00:32:27,167
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Come check it out.

633
00:32:27,169 --> 00:32:27,800
Hold on!
We're eating breakfast here.

634
00:32:27,802 --> 00:32:29,269
Come on, here we go.

635
00:32:30,935 --> 00:32:32,601
-This is sick.
-Look at that!

636
00:32:32,603 --> 00:32:34,367
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

637
00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:35,467
-Hey! Hold on a second!
-Whoa, this is cool.

638
00:32:35,469 --> 00:32:36,534
-Hang on. Let me get your mom.
-Whoa. This is cool.

639
00:32:36,536 --> 00:32:39,367
-What? What did you do?
-I am gonna immortalize

640
00:32:39,369 --> 00:32:42,100
the first moment that you
lay eyes on this beauty.

641
00:32:42,102 --> 00:32:43,501
This is not
how it's gonna work.

642
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:45,234
Look at this thing.
This gives you the morning off.

643
00:32:45,236 --> 00:32:47,367
From what?
The morning off from what?

644
00:32:47,369 --> 00:32:49,167
I don't know. The Olympics
are here in two years.

645
00:32:49,169 --> 00:32:50,467
What?

646
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:51,300
Who knows
what you're capable of?

647
00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:53,134
-What did you say?
-All right.

648
00:32:53,136 --> 00:32:56,102
The fucking Olympics?
Does he think that's funny?

649
00:32:56,835 --> 00:32:58,167
Fuck him.

650
00:32:58,169 --> 00:33:00,202
I mean, does he think
this is about me?

651
00:33:01,336 --> 00:33:03,169
No, 'cause it's not.

652
00:33:04,069 --> 00:33:07,002
No, he didn't say it.
He never says anything.

653
00:33:07,436 --> 00:33:09,002
I mean, isn't that typical?

654
00:33:09,202 --> 00:33:11,536
My God, you should know,
you're his mom!

655
00:33:12,835 --> 00:33:13,935
Marilyn!

656
00:33:14,536 --> 00:33:16,134
-Hey.
-I rang the doorbell.

657
00:33:16,136 --> 00:33:18,234
I hate the phone.

658
00:33:18,236 --> 00:33:19,833
I just wanted to see you.

659
00:33:19,835 --> 00:33:21,034
-Come inside. You're sweet.
-No, no, no.

660
00:33:21,036 --> 00:33:22,501
Jan doesn't even know
I left the house.

661
00:33:22,503 --> 00:33:23,900
I gotta get right back.

662
00:33:23,902 --> 00:33:25,867
-Okay.
-I just...

663
00:33:25,869 --> 00:33:27,167
You're both in shock.

664
00:33:27,169 --> 00:33:28,534
-Yeah.
-That's all.

665
00:33:28,536 --> 00:33:29,933
It's okay.

666
00:33:29,935 --> 00:33:31,601
And I just wanted
to tell you one thing.

667
00:33:31,603 --> 00:33:34,034
-Okay.
-Well, two things.

668
00:33:34,036 --> 00:33:35,102
One...

669
00:33:37,236 --> 00:33:40,436
Give yourself the grace...

670
00:33:41,403 --> 00:33:43,136
to feel what you feel.

671
00:33:44,069 --> 00:33:45,501
Unfiltered.

672
00:33:45,503 --> 00:33:47,136
And number two...

673
00:33:48,835 --> 00:33:51,167
The Olympics are here
in two years.

674
00:33:51,169 --> 00:33:52,833
Oh, my God.

675
00:33:52,835 --> 00:33:54,369
Marilyn, fuck you!

676
00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:58,434
-But I get it.
-Do you?

677
00:33:58,436 --> 00:33:59,501
I get it.

678
00:33:59,503 --> 00:34:01,503
I think so. Come here.

679
00:34:05,236 --> 00:34:06,268
Are you gonna start fucking?

680
00:34:06,270 --> 00:34:07,167
Immediately.

681
00:34:07,169 --> 00:34:08,867
Yes!

682
00:34:08,869 --> 00:34:10,401
New dick. That's what you need.

683
00:34:10,403 --> 00:34:11,933
Some new deep dickin' too.

684
00:34:11,935 --> 00:34:13,167
No pity fucks.

685
00:34:13,169 --> 00:34:15,000
Maybe that's what you need.

686
00:34:15,002 --> 00:34:16,900
It's like the one good thing
Balls and I have left.

687
00:34:16,902 --> 00:34:17,902
Really?

688
00:34:18,236 --> 00:34:20,100
Y'all ever fuck sober?

689
00:34:20,102 --> 00:34:22,100
No. I hate him too much
to be able to do that.

690
00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:23,270
Well, that's a red flag.

691
00:34:24,102 --> 00:34:25,169
No duh.

692
00:34:25,469 --> 00:34:27,169
Hey.

693
00:34:28,069 --> 00:34:29,969
I'm gonna play
for a club team, again.

694
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:34,102
And I've been reaching out
to people about coaching.

695
00:34:34,902 --> 00:34:37,369
-I just worry.
-About what?

696
00:34:37,969 --> 00:34:40,336
Look, you have a full life.

697
00:34:40,935 --> 00:34:44,000
You're not defined by this
one amazing thing you did.

698
00:34:44,002 --> 00:34:45,935
So, I just hope...

699
00:34:46,436 --> 00:34:50,567
that enough time has passed that
you can re-enter this world,

700
00:34:50,569 --> 00:34:52,434
without giving it
too much meaning.

701
00:34:52,436 --> 00:34:54,167
Yeah, but I'm not gonna
be able to do that

702
00:34:54,169 --> 00:34:55,434
now that you said it out loud.

703
00:34:55,436 --> 00:34:57,067
I'm just reminding you, babe,

704
00:34:57,069 --> 00:34:58,501
you have done
other amazing things.

705
00:34:58,503 --> 00:34:59,467
Like?

706
00:34:59,469 --> 00:35:01,401
Like being a mother.

707
00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:03,067
Like this house.

708
00:35:03,069 --> 00:35:05,569
I don't give a fuck
about volleyball. You're great.

709
00:35:27,237 --> 00:35:28,369
Come on, puppies.

710
00:35:29,935 --> 00:35:31,169
Come on, babies.

711
00:35:32,869 --> 00:35:35,134
Come on, Charlie.
Charlie, come to me.

712
00:35:35,136 --> 00:35:36,902
Come, Charlie. Yeah.

713
00:35:37,403 --> 00:35:39,102
Yes, baby.

714
00:35:40,869 --> 00:35:41,969
Come on. Come on.

715
00:35:42,902 --> 00:35:44,136
Yeah.

716
00:35:59,902 --> 00:36:01,933
-Don't move.
-Hi, Mom.

717
00:36:01,935 --> 00:36:03,567
-Hey.
-Are you lice free yet?

718
00:36:03,569 --> 00:36:06,069
-Yeah, I mean, I got it, but...
-Mom. Mom, mom, mom!

719
00:36:06,336 --> 00:36:08,270
This guy's good.
I'm just checking this guy.

720
00:36:08,902 --> 00:36:10,367
We're probably gonna have
to check each other.

721
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,034
-He's gonna give you lice.
-Ew, that's disgusting.

722
00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:13,933
I gotta see if we...

723
00:36:13,935 --> 00:36:15,567
I can't tell if that's
dandruff or...

724
00:36:15,569 --> 00:36:17,467
You got
some more paper towels?

725
00:36:17,469 --> 00:36:19,601
I do have more paper towels.
Just did a Costco run.

726
00:36:19,603 --> 00:36:21,367
There should some
in the bedroom in the back.

727
00:36:21,369 --> 00:36:22,933
All right.

728
00:36:22,935 --> 00:36:24,135
-Dad, why do you have--
-See what I mean?

729
00:36:24,137 --> 00:36:25,534
Why are they
in a doctor's office?

730
00:36:25,536 --> 00:36:28,469
So, you...
using our old armoire?

731
00:36:29,536 --> 00:36:31,933
Yeah, I took it out of storage
until I get some more furniture.

732
00:36:31,935 --> 00:36:33,034
Why, you want me
to put it back?

733
00:36:33,036 --> 00:36:34,534
Immediately.

734
00:36:34,536 --> 00:36:37,000
No, it's just that hadn't talked
about that kind of stuff.

735
00:36:37,002 --> 00:36:39,067
Yeah. Sorry. Probably
should have asked first.

736
00:36:39,069 --> 00:36:40,403
It's fine.

737
00:36:41,469 --> 00:36:44,000
So, what do you think
about your new style?

738
00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:45,268
You know what,
I gotta get more paper towels.

739
00:36:45,270 --> 00:36:46,401
I think we should
just go with this.

740
00:36:46,403 --> 00:36:47,334
-All the time.
-Don't move. Don't move.

741
00:36:47,336 --> 00:36:49,000
-All right?
-Don't move.

742
00:36:49,002 --> 00:36:49,469
You're lice-free,
and we'll just keep this look.

743
00:36:54,303 --> 00:36:55,967
I think I might have lice.

744
00:36:55,969 --> 00:36:57,501
Hmm.

745
00:36:57,503 --> 00:36:59,534
Any-- Aren't you seeing it
jump off me? Why are you--

746
00:36:59,536 --> 00:37:01,034
Yeah, let's get you
in the chair.

747
00:37:01,036 --> 00:37:02,501
I think that's what we gotta do.

748
00:37:02,503 --> 00:37:04,135
Yeah, you look--
One just crawled in between--

749
00:37:04,137 --> 00:37:05,867
-No--
-Mom's pregnant.

750
00:37:05,869 --> 00:37:06,933
-You are so pregnant.
-What?

751
00:37:06,935 --> 00:37:08,268
You hooked up with a bug.

752
00:37:08,270 --> 00:37:10,168
-All right, guys, enough.
-Guys.

753
00:37:10,170 --> 00:37:11,467
But Dad, that's how
you said you get lice.

754
00:37:11,469 --> 00:37:13,168
-Yeah... yeah.
-Oh, is that how you said it?

755
00:37:13,170 --> 00:37:15,900
No. It's bec-- It was a joke,
because the video said

756
00:37:15,902 --> 00:37:17,068
we're looking
for baby eggs, all right?

757
00:37:17,070 --> 00:37:18,334
It was a joke.

758
00:37:18,336 --> 00:37:19,933
-Did you hook up with a bug?
-No.

759
00:37:19,935 --> 00:37:22,168
-Well, you've got lice so...
-Yeah, you did.

760
00:37:22,170 --> 00:37:24,135
<i>-You hooked up with a bug</i>
-You promised not to tell them.

761
00:37:24,137 --> 00:37:26,367
-You have lice, too.
-Yeah, sorry. I couldn't resist.

762
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:27,833
All right, you know what?
You guys need to rehearse.

763
00:37:27,835 --> 00:37:29,434
-Let's go. Let's go.
-Okay.

764
00:37:29,436 --> 00:37:31,034
-Get busy.
-I already know it.

765
00:37:31,036 --> 00:37:33,268
-Keep the volume down, too.
-Turn the volume up? Okay.

766
00:37:33,270 --> 00:37:34,833
No, not up.
Keep the volume down.

767
00:37:34,835 --> 00:37:35,501
Dad, do you know where
the loudspeaker is?

768
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:36,601
I'm serious about the volume

769
00:37:36,603 --> 00:37:38,334
So you're really
not seeing anything?

770
00:37:38,336 --> 00:37:40,935
-There's no little bites or...
-I don't think so.

771
00:37:41,436 --> 00:37:43,101
To be honest, just looking--

772
00:37:43,103 --> 00:37:44,567
Now, it's making me itch.
I think I--

773
00:37:44,569 --> 00:37:45,902
I must have it.
Would you check me?

774
00:37:46,469 --> 00:37:47,569
Sure.

775
00:37:49,835 --> 00:37:51,434
You can get
like little bites or...

776
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,467
Yeah, make sure to really check.

777
00:37:53,469 --> 00:37:55,035
Yeah.

778
00:37:55,037 --> 00:37:56,802
"Under Pressure"?

779
00:37:57,869 --> 00:37:59,835
Oh. That's what that is.

780
00:38:01,037 --> 00:38:02,434
You didn't recognize it?

781
00:38:02,436 --> 00:38:04,867
No. The first 40 million times
I didn't recognize it.

782
00:38:04,869 --> 00:38:06,336
They're obsessed.

783
00:38:06,969 --> 00:38:08,168
It's all they talk about.

784
00:38:08,170 --> 00:38:09,833
That performance
is so far from now too.

785
00:38:09,835 --> 00:38:11,967
I wonder where they get
their work ethic from.

786
00:38:11,969 --> 00:38:13,536
Mm. Poor boys.

787
00:38:14,569 --> 00:38:16,503
Just check one more in here.

788
00:38:20,503 --> 00:38:25,070
I'm gonna dip my toe
into the coaching world.

789
00:38:27,336 --> 00:38:28,902
Is that why you were
in the city?

790
00:38:29,869 --> 00:38:32,070
No. I was in the city
'cause you called me.

791
00:38:33,436 --> 00:38:35,401
Oh. I just figured
you were in the city,

792
00:38:35,403 --> 00:38:37,168
because you said
you'd come right over.

793
00:38:37,170 --> 00:38:39,334
Yeah. I wanted to see
the halfway house

794
00:38:39,336 --> 00:38:41,135
our kids are living in
part time.

795
00:38:41,137 --> 00:38:42,601
I'm glad you got
the vibe that I'm going for.

796
00:38:42,603 --> 00:38:44,070
Yeah, you did great.

797
00:38:44,835 --> 00:38:47,902
I haven't talked
to any programs yet, just...

798
00:38:50,835 --> 00:38:52,168
I think that's great.

799
00:38:52,170 --> 00:38:54,003
Any program would die
to have you, I'm sure.

800
00:38:54,569 --> 00:38:56,070
Yeah.

801
00:38:56,503 --> 00:38:57,569
I think it's great, too.

802
00:39:00,237 --> 00:39:02,369
Um, I think you're good.

803
00:39:03,436 --> 00:39:05,003
Good. Okay.

804
00:39:06,170 --> 00:39:07,534
Do you wanna
take a shower with--

805
00:39:07,536 --> 00:39:10,101
and rinse off with some of that
special shampoo?

806
00:39:10,103 --> 00:39:11,201
Oh, oh...

807
00:39:11,203 --> 00:39:12,101
-Might as well.
-Yeah.

808
00:39:12,103 --> 00:39:13,367
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

809
00:39:13,369 --> 00:39:15,003
Bathroom's right down there
on the left.

810
00:40:01,103 --> 00:40:02,469
You got this.

811
00:40:04,170 --> 00:40:05,601
So I read
that the number one

812
00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:06,968
fantasy for guys...

813
00:40:06,970 --> 00:40:07,668
-Can I help you?
-Hey, man.

814
00:40:07,670 --> 00:40:09,268
Yeah, I'm here for the open mic.

815
00:40:09,270 --> 00:40:10,968
Yeah, right here. Just write
your name down there.

816
00:40:10,970 --> 00:40:11,934
Okay.

817
00:40:11,936 --> 00:40:12,970
You're next.

818
00:40:13,137 --> 00:40:14,270
-I'm next?
-Yup, be ready.

819
00:40:15,070 --> 00:40:16,301
Fuck.

820
00:40:16,303 --> 00:40:17,401
I'm getting the light,
so I gotta go.

821
00:40:17,403 --> 00:40:18,567
Oh, the light. The light.

822
00:40:18,569 --> 00:40:20,037
The light. Yeah, the light.

823
00:40:33,369 --> 00:40:35,170
Ladies and gentlemen...

824
00:40:38,503 --> 00:40:39,968
<i>-Yo, man. What's up?</i>
<i>-Hey.</i>

825
00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:41,201
I was actually hoping
that I could just,

826
00:40:41,203 --> 00:40:42,501
you know,
watch and hang tonight?

827
00:40:42,503 --> 00:40:45,101
-Yeah.
-Yeah? I got 15 bucks on me.

828
00:40:45,103 --> 00:40:47,868
Nah. Keep your 15 bucks.
Get yourself something nice.

829
00:40:47,870 --> 00:40:49,467
-Go on in.
-Thanks, man.

830
00:40:49,469 --> 00:40:52,070
You got it-- Just... Yeah, just
finish that before you go in.

831
00:40:53,137 --> 00:40:54,536
-Finish it?
-Yeah.

832
00:40:55,469 --> 00:40:57,934
-Hey.
-Hey.

833
00:40:57,936 --> 00:40:58,970
-There he is.
-Make yourself comfortable.

834
00:40:59,536 --> 00:41:01,135
Am I okay here?

835
00:41:01,137 --> 00:41:03,035
-Yeah. No one's sittin' here.
-You're fine.

836
00:41:03,037 --> 00:41:04,103
How was your night?

837
00:41:04,536 --> 00:41:06,003
It was pretty good.

838
00:41:06,336 --> 00:41:09,237
I went and did
a different open mic and...

839
00:41:11,336 --> 00:41:12,834
Yeah.

840
00:41:12,836 --> 00:41:14,301
You know, I've been
doing this for 25 years.

841
00:41:14,303 --> 00:41:15,567
You know what I mean?
And I love it.

842
00:41:15,569 --> 00:41:17,035
I wouldn't wanna be
anywhere else.

843
00:41:17,037 --> 00:41:19,068
But what I like about you
is you're so innocent.

844
00:41:19,070 --> 00:41:20,268
You're not naive,
you're innocent.

845
00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:21,567
And that's why it works.

846
00:41:21,569 --> 00:41:23,168
So that's good.
It comes outta your head,

847
00:41:23,170 --> 00:41:24,501
you put it on a piece of paper,
and you get up there.

848
00:41:24,503 --> 00:41:26,567
It's like therapy.
But, people can relate to that.

849
00:41:26,569 --> 00:41:27,868
-I don't know what it is.
-You don't know anything.

850
00:41:27,870 --> 00:41:29,467
But I just do know
that coming here

851
00:41:29,469 --> 00:41:32,068
-has ended up making me feel...
-Yeah. It's a safe space.

852
00:41:32,070 --> 00:41:33,037
-Well, a lot better.
-Yeah.

853
00:41:34,037 --> 00:41:35,035
You are good--
I mean, you're bad at stand-up,

854
00:41:35,037 --> 00:41:36,467
but you're good.

855
00:41:36,469 --> 00:41:39,101
You have a good heart.
You seem like a pure...

856
00:41:39,103 --> 00:41:40,934
like I believe you that
you just found this thing,

857
00:41:40,936 --> 00:41:43,068
and now you're in love
with stand-up.

858
00:41:43,070 --> 00:41:45,534
Other than the fact that
I'm really insulted, thank you.

859
00:41:45,536 --> 00:41:48,035
But you're bad.
You're really bad.

860
00:41:48,037 --> 00:41:49,301
Okay.

861
00:41:49,303 --> 00:41:50,834
So I was waxing.
It didn't hurt, right?

862
00:41:50,836 --> 00:41:52,501
And then she finished
really quickly,

863
00:41:52,503 --> 00:41:54,101
like I didn't even
know what happened.

864
00:41:54,103 --> 00:41:56,970
And I was like, she goes,
"Your triangle's done." Okay.

865
00:41:57,336 --> 00:41:59,334
"Your triangle's done."

866
00:41:59,336 --> 00:42:00,567
What she gave me...

867
00:42:00,569 --> 00:42:02,403
Okay, wait.
Can I use your napkin?

868
00:42:03,870 --> 00:42:06,601
What I was expecting was this.

869
00:42:06,603 --> 00:42:08,970
This is what,
what I was expecting. Okay?

870
00:42:09,203 --> 00:42:12,101
You see this?
Reasonable. Reasonable.

871
00:42:12,103 --> 00:42:14,469
What she gave me...

872
00:42:22,103 --> 00:42:23,170
...is this.

873
00:42:24,070 --> 00:42:26,567
-It is ridi-- Look at this.
-No!

874
00:42:26,569 --> 00:42:28,301
Look at what I'm showing you.

875
00:42:28,303 --> 00:42:31,235
I'm not-- This is not--
It is tiny.

876
00:42:31,237 --> 00:42:33,270
Well, I brought
my drink up. Um...

877
00:42:33,970 --> 00:42:35,534
-It's okay.
-Is that all right?

878
00:42:35,536 --> 00:42:37,334
Hang on. Do you guys mind?
I'm gonna put this right here.

879
00:42:37,336 --> 00:42:38,968
Use it!

880
00:42:38,970 --> 00:42:41,467
You okay? I'm watching it,
all right? So, don't--

881
00:42:41,469 --> 00:42:43,367
Oh, please roofie me.

882
00:42:43,369 --> 00:42:44,868
Oh.

883
00:42:44,870 --> 00:42:47,001
Please, I'd love
to get roofie'd tonight.

884
00:42:47,003 --> 00:42:48,870
Please!

885
00:42:49,303 --> 00:42:52,467
Hey, is it true that you do
magic? Is that a true story?

886
00:42:52,469 --> 00:42:54,601
Yes. That is my day job.

887
00:42:54,603 --> 00:42:57,068
One of my kids,
he's obsessed with-with magic.

888
00:42:57,070 --> 00:42:58,567
-Oh, no.
-Yeah, his birthday's coming up,

889
00:42:58,569 --> 00:42:59,968
and his mom's
doing this thing,

890
00:42:59,970 --> 00:43:01,235
and I want to kinda
add something to it.

891
00:43:01,237 --> 00:43:03,868
Would you ever consider doing
something like that? Is that...?

892
00:43:03,870 --> 00:43:05,434
-Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah?

893
00:43:05,436 --> 00:43:06,369
-I'd be down. Sure.
-Okay.

894
00:43:12,903 --> 00:43:14,070
The driveway's okay?

895
00:43:16,270 --> 00:43:18,903
Okay in front of the driveway.
They're not going anywhere.

896
00:43:29,137 --> 00:43:30,536
Shit doesn't even look gold.

897
00:43:32,170 --> 00:43:33,369
I should have picked
the balloons.

898
00:43:37,170 --> 00:43:39,037
What?

899
00:43:39,369 --> 00:43:40,934
-Hey!
-Hey. Hey.

900
00:43:40,936 --> 00:43:42,035
What are you doing out here?
The door was open.

901
00:43:42,037 --> 00:43:42,601
I didn't know
what the protocol was.

902
00:43:42,603 --> 00:43:44,101
What? Get in here.

903
00:43:44,103 --> 00:43:46,268
You guys all right?

904
00:43:46,270 --> 00:43:47,601
Wow.

905
00:43:47,603 --> 00:43:49,201
-It's gonna be so good.
-You really went all out.

906
00:43:49,203 --> 00:43:51,436
Hey, will you help me actually
put some more food out?

907
00:43:52,170 --> 00:43:53,868
<i>Crudités</i> in the fridge.

908
00:43:53,870 --> 00:43:55,301
-There's two of 'em.
-Okay.

909
00:43:55,303 --> 00:43:57,235
I just really need the carrots

910
00:43:57,237 --> 00:43:59,001
because they have
not touched one vegetable.

911
00:43:59,003 --> 00:44:02,201
Hi, buddy. Oh, hey. Hi, hi, hi.
You having fun?

912
00:44:02,203 --> 00:44:03,434
-Yeah.
-Yeah? How's the magician?

913
00:44:03,436 --> 00:44:04,569
-Good.
-Yeah?

914
00:44:05,103 --> 00:44:07,201
Your father's sorry
he couldn't make it.

915
00:44:07,203 --> 00:44:09,235
-He's on one of his walks.
-Okay.

916
00:44:09,237 --> 00:44:11,936
Hey! There he is.

917
00:44:13,303 --> 00:44:14,903
Hey, Charlie doesn't like
to be picked up.

918
00:44:15,603 --> 00:44:17,101
Is that his name?

919
00:44:17,103 --> 00:44:18,068
Yeah. Did you really
not know Charlie's name?

920
00:44:18,070 --> 00:44:19,401
No.

921
00:44:19,403 --> 00:44:21,168
-After all this time?
-Dude, you look so good.

922
00:44:21,170 --> 00:44:22,367
-For real?
-Yeah, yeah.

923
00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:24,068
Is that-- You look--
Did you lose weight?

924
00:44:24,070 --> 00:44:25,367
Is that a new sweater?

925
00:44:25,369 --> 00:44:27,834
Honestly, no,
I've had this sweater for...

926
00:44:27,836 --> 00:44:29,268
Well, you should
keep wearing it.

927
00:44:29,270 --> 00:44:31,001
It's the guilt
eating away at you, I'm sure.

928
00:44:31,003 --> 00:44:32,268
-The guilt?
-Christine.

929
00:44:32,270 --> 00:44:33,334
-What?
-Don't say that.

930
00:44:33,336 --> 00:44:35,035
What?

931
00:44:35,037 --> 00:44:36,901
Guilt about what? What are you
talking about, Christine?

932
00:44:36,903 --> 00:44:38,201
Is that your name?

933
00:44:38,203 --> 00:44:40,135
Christine, have I done
something to offend you?

934
00:44:40,137 --> 00:44:42,567
Because if I have, or like upset
you or something, then I'm--

935
00:44:42,569 --> 00:44:44,035
No, no, no. You know what?
Forget it.

936
00:44:44,037 --> 00:44:45,235
I'm not going to Oyster Bay.

937
00:44:45,237 --> 00:44:46,135
Don't apologize to me. What?

938
00:44:46,137 --> 00:44:47,201
-Guys.
-Why not?

939
00:44:47,203 --> 00:44:48,467
-It's a birthday party.
-Because.

940
00:44:48,469 --> 00:44:50,001
Go! Run, run, run!

941
00:44:50,003 --> 00:44:51,336
Go Judey, go Judey, go Jude!

942
00:44:53,237 --> 00:44:55,068
Oh, you got my... She got my...

943
00:44:55,070 --> 00:44:56,934
You're gonna be
part of this trick, okay?

944
00:44:56,936 --> 00:44:58,101
-All right.
-Can all three of us do it?

945
00:44:58,103 --> 00:44:59,268
-Yeah.
-Yeah,

946
00:44:59,270 --> 00:45:00,903
all three of you can do it.
Okay.

947
00:45:01,203 --> 00:45:03,569
-I think I took too much.
-Honey. Oh.

948
00:45:05,237 --> 00:45:07,403
I didn't... I didn't know
I was holding the dog.

949
00:45:08,503 --> 00:45:10,137
Well, this is pretty good.

950
00:45:11,436 --> 00:45:13,903
I'm not the reason you're
not coming to Oyster Bay, am I?

951
00:45:15,270 --> 00:45:16,534
Oh, God, no. Not at all.

952
00:45:16,536 --> 00:45:18,168
I mean, 'cause we can all go.

953
00:45:18,170 --> 00:45:19,868
It doesn't have to be awkward.
Right?

954
00:45:19,870 --> 00:45:22,868
No... you mean like it is now?

955
00:45:22,870 --> 00:45:25,602
Hey, sorry that
I just kinda lost it earlier.

956
00:45:25,604 --> 00:45:26,567
I felt really attacked
by all those guys.

957
00:45:26,569 --> 00:45:28,401
Yeah.

958
00:45:28,403 --> 00:45:29,301
I mean, why are we even talking
about Oyster Bay now at all?

959
00:45:29,303 --> 00:45:31,268
-I know.
-It's so far away.

960
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,602
-They're crazy.
-Those guys,

961
00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:33,968
you know they're psychos
when it comes to planning.

962
00:45:33,970 --> 00:45:36,035
Yes.

963
00:45:36,037 --> 00:45:38,534
All I know is we made
a couple wonderful boys.

964
00:45:38,536 --> 00:45:40,103
Right?

965
00:45:40,570 --> 00:45:41,970
Yeah.

966
00:45:44,003 --> 00:45:49,301
<i>♪ Happy birthday, dear Jude ♪</i>

967
00:45:49,303 --> 00:45:54,103
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

968
00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:46,070
-You got it all over you.
-I know! I--

969
00:46:46,504 --> 00:46:48,469
You got it all over you, too.

970
00:46:49,137 --> 00:46:51,367
What does that have to do
with, like, opening wine?

971
00:46:51,369 --> 00:46:52,836
-Hi.
-Hi.

972
00:46:53,303 --> 00:46:54,434
Thank you so much for coming.

973
00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:54,901
Thank you so much
for having me.

974
00:46:54,903 --> 00:46:56,502
You were awesome.

975
00:46:56,504 --> 00:46:57,535
-Yeah, I really appreciate it.
-The kids loved it.

976
00:46:57,537 --> 00:46:58,568
-Hey, that was amazing.
-Thank you. Thank you.

977
00:46:58,570 --> 00:46:59,602
Oh. My balance is off.

978
00:46:59,604 --> 00:47:00,968
-Nice to meet you.
-You okay?

979
00:47:00,970 --> 00:47:01,434
-This is my buddy.
-Nice to meet you.

980
00:47:01,436 --> 00:47:02,401
Balls.

981
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:03,968
-Balls?
-Yeah.

982
00:47:03,970 --> 00:47:05,434
Cool. Okay.

983
00:47:05,436 --> 00:47:06,401
Happens every time.

984
00:47:06,403 --> 00:47:07,504
Don't make my mom do that.

985
00:47:09,137 --> 00:47:11,334
-What happens every time?
-Nothin'.

986
00:47:11,336 --> 00:47:12,470
Okay, what's the deal?

987
00:47:14,237 --> 00:47:15,901
You mean with
why you still have that beard

988
00:47:15,903 --> 00:47:17,135
even though the play's
been over for two months?

989
00:47:17,137 --> 00:47:18,901
I can't choose
when the character leaves me.

990
00:47:18,903 --> 00:47:20,201
Characters, you mean.

991
00:47:20,203 --> 00:47:22,434
Actually, I feel like
maybe it's providing,

992
00:47:22,436 --> 00:47:24,367
like, a new thing
for casting directors,

993
00:47:24,369 --> 00:47:26,268
now that I'm working again.
Thank you for coming by the way.

994
00:47:26,270 --> 00:47:27,968
Twice. I came twice.

995
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:29,367
And you didn't even go on
the second time.

996
00:47:29,369 --> 00:47:31,068
I know.

997
00:47:31,070 --> 00:47:34,568
It's because that asshole Paul
said he was gonna be sick

998
00:47:34,570 --> 00:47:36,068
and then he showed up anyway.

999
00:47:36,070 --> 00:47:38,934
But I was psyched because
he got St. Paul sick,

1000
00:47:38,936 --> 00:47:40,168
and I went up
for two weeks straight.

1001
00:47:40,170 --> 00:47:41,901
-It was amazing.
-Yeah, that's a bonus.

1002
00:47:41,903 --> 00:47:43,367
And people said
that I was, like...

1003
00:47:43,369 --> 00:47:44,968
-Yeah.
-...better.

1004
00:47:44,970 --> 00:47:46,101
-Than him?
-Yeah.

1005
00:47:46,103 --> 00:47:47,268
Yeah. I bet.

1006
00:47:47,270 --> 00:47:48,968
-I got recognized on the street.
-Did you?

1007
00:47:48,970 --> 00:47:51,001
Somebody literally thought
I was a disciple. It was great.

1008
00:47:51,003 --> 00:47:53,237
But I think maybe they were,
like, a Jesus freak. But...

1009
00:47:53,936 --> 00:47:55,367
They're not a fan
of the play necessarily.

1010
00:47:55,369 --> 00:47:57,135
Well, they saw the play a lot.

1011
00:47:57,137 --> 00:48:00,435
I think they saw the play almost
all the two weeks that I did it.

1012
00:48:00,437 --> 00:48:02,502
So, I didn't really tell them
that I was the understudy.

1013
00:48:02,504 --> 00:48:04,268
-But anyway, this is about you.
-Right.

1014
00:48:04,270 --> 00:48:07,303
Don't fucking... Don't fucking
change the subject.

1015
00:48:09,403 --> 00:48:10,369
Let me rephrase it.

1016
00:48:11,570 --> 00:48:13,336
What's the deal, man?

1017
00:48:14,403 --> 00:48:16,303
Yeah, I don't know what to
tell you, man. There is no deal.

1018
00:48:16,970 --> 00:48:18,103
Okay.

1019
00:48:18,604 --> 00:48:19,970
You don't want to tell me
her name?

1020
00:48:22,170 --> 00:48:23,003
All right.

1021
00:48:25,369 --> 00:48:26,535
If I tell you something, you
promise you won't tell anybody?

1022
00:48:26,537 --> 00:48:28,137
No. Keep going.
What's her name?

1023
00:48:30,103 --> 00:48:31,369
I've been doing stand-up.

1024
00:48:32,037 --> 00:48:33,235
Oh.

1025
00:48:33,237 --> 00:48:34,535
I don't know who that is.

1026
00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:36,235
That's a crazy handle.
What? Is she famous?

1027
00:48:36,237 --> 00:48:37,868
No, no, no. Dude,

1028
00:48:37,870 --> 00:48:40,201
I've been doing stand-up comedy
on stage downtown.

1029
00:48:40,203 --> 00:48:41,103
Okay.

1030
00:48:42,237 --> 00:48:43,468
What?

1031
00:48:43,470 --> 00:48:44,504
Is it like a hobby?

1032
00:48:46,270 --> 00:48:48,502
Well, I'm not about to
quit my job and go on tour.

1033
00:48:48,504 --> 00:48:49,369
Okay.

1034
00:48:52,103 --> 00:48:54,201
Yeah. It's just,
I-I mean, I love it, man.

1035
00:48:54,203 --> 00:48:57,101
It's great. I-- You know,
it's actually pretty amazing.

1036
00:48:57,103 --> 00:49:00,035
And it's terrifying,
but I love every aspect of it,

1037
00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:01,968
and it's something
I look forward to.

1038
00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:03,070
-Fuck.
-What?

1039
00:49:08,470 --> 00:49:09,303
I knew it.

1040
00:49:10,936 --> 00:49:11,570
Knew what?

1041
00:49:13,203 --> 00:49:15,370
Just like...

1042
00:49:18,404 --> 00:49:21,135
You've always been the funniest
guy in the room forever, right?

1043
00:49:21,137 --> 00:49:22,535
Ever since college,

1044
00:49:22,537 --> 00:49:24,101
and now that you're actually
fucking pursuing it...

1045
00:49:24,103 --> 00:49:25,335
I'm not pursing anything.

1046
00:49:25,337 --> 00:49:27,103
You're gonna kill it.
It's inevitable.

1047
00:49:27,870 --> 00:49:32,570
And it kills me that I hate it
so much because I-I have...

1048
00:49:33,203 --> 00:49:34,901
...always gotten comfort

1049
00:49:34,903 --> 00:49:36,101
in knowing that you settled.

1050
00:49:36,103 --> 00:49:37,370
That you're a settler.

1051
00:49:39,070 --> 00:49:41,870
And I-I'm the guy who...

1052
00:49:43,370 --> 00:49:45,934
Even though, you know, is
going for it. That's my thing.

1053
00:49:45,936 --> 00:49:47,502
Jesus, Balls.

1054
00:49:47,504 --> 00:49:49,568
I know. It's been a lot
for me to carry around.

1055
00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:51,301
Just so nothing
gets misconstrued,

1056
00:49:51,303 --> 00:49:52,568
I don't have a girlfriend.

1057
00:49:52,570 --> 00:49:54,335
-Oh, you do whatever you want.
-I don't.

1058
00:49:54,337 --> 00:49:55,435
Look, it doesn't matter.

1059
00:49:55,437 --> 00:49:56,602
You don't have to
justify yourself.

1060
00:49:56,604 --> 00:49:58,268
You're famous now, anyway.
So, whatevs.

1061
00:49:58,270 --> 00:49:59,502
What are you
talking about, man?

1062
00:49:59,504 --> 00:50:01,035
Look, you don't have
to justify yourself.

1063
00:50:01,037 --> 00:50:02,103
Listen to me. To anybody.

1064
00:50:02,437 --> 00:50:04,101
Not to Tess, not to anybody.

1065
00:50:04,103 --> 00:50:06,836
Just like Tess doesn't
have to justify herself to you.

1066
00:50:07,537 --> 00:50:08,504
Justify what?

1067
00:50:10,970 --> 00:50:12,003
Nothing.

1068
00:50:12,437 --> 00:50:15,001
-Is Tess seeing someone?
-No.

1069
00:50:15,003 --> 00:50:16,201
I mean, is she open to it?

1070
00:50:16,203 --> 00:50:17,235
I wouldn't know.
I don't think so.

1071
00:50:17,237 --> 00:50:19,304
But is she? Yeah. Maybe.

1072
00:50:20,270 --> 00:50:21,435
Did Christine say something?

1073
00:50:21,437 --> 00:50:22,568
Who?

1074
00:50:22,570 --> 00:50:23,504
Christine?

1075
00:50:24,470 --> 00:50:25,568
Ab-About what?

1076
00:50:25,570 --> 00:50:27,101
About Tess seeing somebody.

1077
00:50:27,103 --> 00:50:28,137
No. Did she?

1078
00:50:28,504 --> 00:50:29,504
I'm asking you.

1079
00:50:31,370 --> 00:50:32,901
-What are you--
-Well, did you hear anything?

1080
00:50:32,903 --> 00:50:34,068
What did Christine say about it?

1081
00:50:34,070 --> 00:50:35,504
What did she say?

1082
00:50:35,936 --> 00:50:37,271
Dude, I'm asking you.

1083
00:50:41,870 --> 00:50:44,269
Hey, Olga? I just
put a bunch of trash there.

1084
00:50:44,271 --> 00:50:46,068
-Is there anything else?
-No. All good. Thank you.

1085
00:50:46,070 --> 00:50:47,836
Good. Okay. Thank you.

1086
00:50:51,170 --> 00:50:52,037
Hey.

1087
00:50:53,537 --> 00:50:55,070
-Yeah?
-Are you leaving?

1088
00:50:57,337 --> 00:50:58,903
I was just finishing
cleaning up.

1089
00:51:00,237 --> 00:51:01,570
Yeah, I-I gotta go.

1090
00:51:10,836 --> 00:51:11,903
How you doing?

1091
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:14,570
All right.

1092
00:51:17,404 --> 00:51:19,868
Oh, man. I'm Alex.

1093
00:51:19,870 --> 00:51:21,137
How's everybody feeling tonight?

1094
00:51:22,203 --> 00:51:24,203
Good. I'm feeling pretty good.

1095
00:51:25,103 --> 00:51:28,468
I, uh-- I'm recently separated
from my wife.

1096
00:51:28,470 --> 00:51:30,970
No. Oh, thank you.

1097
00:51:32,404 --> 00:51:37,168
And, uh, I think that
she's maybe seeing someone.

1098
00:51:37,170 --> 00:51:38,535
Yeah, I just found out
the possibility

1099
00:51:38,537 --> 00:51:40,001
that she's seeing someone,

1100
00:51:40,003 --> 00:51:41,834
and I'm handling it just fine,
I think.

1101
00:51:41,836 --> 00:51:44,135
Right? And, uh...

1102
00:51:44,137 --> 00:51:46,502
So I just made up
a list of, uh...

1103
00:51:46,504 --> 00:51:49,803
possible worst case scenarios,
which I think is really healthy.

1104
00:51:50,037 --> 00:51:51,535
Number one.

1105
00:51:51,537 --> 00:51:54,537
This guy is a radiologist.

1106
00:51:55,003 --> 00:51:58,771
Because that would mean
he's knowledgeable,

1107
00:51:59,238 --> 00:52:03,037
he's noble,
and he makes a ton of money.

1108
00:52:03,836 --> 00:52:07,435
Terrible. So, that's number one.
Number two. He surfs.

1109
00:52:07,437 --> 00:52:09,168
Because surfing
is so fucking cool,

1110
00:52:09,170 --> 00:52:12,269
and those guys seem like
they're really cool,

1111
00:52:12,271 --> 00:52:14,568
and that they, like,
can do anything,

1112
00:52:14,570 --> 00:52:17,269
and they drive old trucks.

1113
00:52:17,271 --> 00:52:19,936
You know, and they don't care,
they never wear shoes.

1114
00:52:20,504 --> 00:52:23,470
And, uh, they never met a jar
they couldn't open.

1115
00:52:23,970 --> 00:52:25,468
You know what I mean?

1116
00:52:25,470 --> 00:52:27,901
And they don't need to cut
their hair, or do anything.

1117
00:52:27,903 --> 00:52:30,337
And they're always suntanned.
Um...

1118
00:52:30,836 --> 00:52:32,901
And they look like they got
really strong forearms,

1119
00:52:32,903 --> 00:52:34,001
you know?

1120
00:52:34,003 --> 00:52:36,568
Which is, thinking about, um,

1121
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:38,834
someone you love,
like a lady you love,

1122
00:52:38,836 --> 00:52:40,903
with a guy with
really strong forearms.

1123
00:52:42,238 --> 00:52:46,304
Uh, my forearms
are basically atrophied. Um...

1124
00:52:47,370 --> 00:52:49,970
No, that's not true. I actually
do work out a fair bit.

1125
00:52:50,870 --> 00:52:54,136
I've got, um,
what I would describe as, um,

1126
00:52:54,138 --> 00:52:56,337
and a lot of ladies would
describe, as a dad bod.

1127
00:52:59,171 --> 00:53:02,435
By the way, it occurs to me that
men have done a really good job

1128
00:53:02,437 --> 00:53:06,537
of convincing women
that dad bods are a good thing.

1129
00:53:07,204 --> 00:53:09,502
You know? Like, we go, like,
"Oh, he's got a dad bod."

1130
00:53:09,504 --> 00:53:13,934
We're like, "Okay." It's like we
all got together and conspired.

1131
00:53:13,936 --> 00:53:15,335
You know what I mean? Anyway.

1132
00:53:15,337 --> 00:53:16,602
Um...

1133
00:53:16,604 --> 00:53:20,171
So, yeah, so...
radiologist, surfer.

1134
00:53:21,504 --> 00:53:24,271
Nightmare if he was
a surfing radiologist.

1135
00:53:25,437 --> 00:53:28,070
Because that would be...
that would be...

1136
00:53:34,570 --> 00:53:37,934
It would, like-- Like, what,
he's gonna pull up to my house

1137
00:53:37,936 --> 00:53:41,502
with his dumb,
beautiful Porsche.

1138
00:53:41,504 --> 00:53:45,204
Um, and take her out
on-- on a date?

1139
00:53:47,337 --> 00:53:48,271
I mean...

1140
00:53:50,037 --> 00:53:52,238
Jill, this is where I got stuck.

1141
00:53:53,138 --> 00:53:54,535
Keep-- Keep going?

1142
00:53:54,537 --> 00:53:55,970
Yeah, I don't... Okay.

1143
00:53:56,504 --> 00:53:58,069
This is the...

1144
00:53:58,071 --> 00:54:00,001
What did I write
on my thing after...?

1145
00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:01,169
You wrote--

1146
00:54:01,171 --> 00:54:03,368
What did I say
after I take them, uh...

1147
00:54:03,370 --> 00:54:04,335
I take them on a date?

1148
00:54:04,337 --> 00:54:05,502
It's right there on the thing.

1149
00:54:05,504 --> 00:54:07,335
It says "I have small penis."

1150
00:54:07,337 --> 00:54:09,202
It does not say
I have a small penis!

1151
00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:11,238
"I have a very small penis."

1152
00:54:13,003 --> 00:54:14,468
Oh, I follow them.

1153
00:54:14,470 --> 00:54:16,535
I follow them. I follow them.
Thank you very much.

1154
00:54:16,537 --> 00:54:17,602
-You're welcome.
-That's my friend Jill

1155
00:54:17,604 --> 00:54:19,468
who's very helpful, um...

1156
00:54:19,470 --> 00:54:21,236
By the way,
if I had a small penis,

1157
00:54:21,238 --> 00:54:23,169
I wouldn't need
to remind myself.

1158
00:54:23,171 --> 00:54:25,602
I feel like I would, um...

1159
00:54:25,604 --> 00:54:27,169
By the way, I don't.

1160
00:54:27,171 --> 00:54:28,271
Anyway.

1161
00:54:30,337 --> 00:54:31,970
I don't know. Uh...

1162
00:54:32,470 --> 00:54:33,504
And...

1163
00:54:34,104 --> 00:54:35,337
So, anyway...

1164
00:54:36,903 --> 00:54:38,968
I-I left you a little something.

1165
00:54:38,970 --> 00:54:42,001
Just to for you to remember
to have confidence.

1166
00:54:42,003 --> 00:54:44,535
The folder is unacceptable.
Bright yellow?

1167
00:54:44,537 --> 00:54:46,302
Why? This is where
I keep everything organized.

1168
00:54:46,304 --> 00:54:50,036
It's just, "I'm a dad
coming to--" We don't do that.

1169
00:54:50,038 --> 00:54:52,535
We have it in here, like adults.

1170
00:54:52,537 --> 00:54:55,102
I like the way that you
even wrote it in uppercase

1171
00:54:55,104 --> 00:54:56,602
just to make sure that
it looks like I wrote it.

1172
00:54:56,604 --> 00:54:58,102
-Like a dude wrote it.
-Yeah, yeah.

1173
00:54:58,104 --> 00:55:00,934
I embossed it.
I matched your handwriting.

1174
00:55:00,936 --> 00:55:03,370
It's untraceable. To me.

1175
00:55:05,104 --> 00:55:07,934
I think we should fuck.
I think we should fuck.

1176
00:55:07,936 --> 00:55:09,335
-You and me?
-Yeah.

1177
00:55:09,337 --> 00:55:11,202
Is that crazy?
I think we should fuck.

1178
00:55:11,204 --> 00:55:12,304
Is that crazy?

1179
00:55:12,537 --> 00:55:14,071
We're gonna fuck.

1180
00:55:43,936 --> 00:55:45,071
Are you a nurse?

1181
00:55:45,903 --> 00:55:47,435
No, I'm a comedian.

1182
00:55:47,437 --> 00:55:48,934
Are you a fucking nurse?

1183
00:55:48,936 --> 00:55:50,138
Don't let my cat out.

1184
00:56:09,437 --> 00:56:10,969
Jill?

1185
00:56:10,971 --> 00:56:13,271
<i>And don't</i>
<i>answer my buzzer.</i>

1186
00:56:21,370 --> 00:56:24,002
I understand it now,
so I'm good.

1187
00:56:24,004 --> 00:56:25,302
Same.

1188
00:56:25,304 --> 00:56:26,169
No, you don't
understand it now, dude.

1189
00:56:26,171 --> 00:56:27,834
Yes, I do, anyways.

1190
00:56:27,836 --> 00:56:29,901
You guys gonna crush this
"Under Pressure" thing or what?

1191
00:56:29,903 --> 00:56:31,602
-Gonna crush it.
-You're screwing me up.

1192
00:56:31,604 --> 00:56:33,136
-Dad?
-Yeah?

1193
00:56:33,138 --> 00:56:35,370
-Are you sad?
-No. Why, do I look sad?

1194
00:56:39,470 --> 00:56:42,568
Hey! No, hey, hey.
What the fuck, guys?

1195
00:56:42,570 --> 00:56:44,004
Sorry.

1196
00:56:45,104 --> 00:56:47,902
Guys, where'd you find this?

1197
00:56:47,904 --> 00:56:48,902
-By your bed.
-By your bed.

1198
00:56:48,904 --> 00:56:50,402
Like where the stand is.

1199
00:56:50,404 --> 00:56:52,935
Okay. You're not supposed to
touch other people's stuff.

1200
00:56:52,937 --> 00:56:54,468
But it was like,
right on your side table.

1201
00:56:54,470 --> 00:56:56,502
-I know, I know, I know.
-It's right where I sleep.

1202
00:56:56,504 --> 00:56:57,902
I know, but when peop--

1203
00:56:57,904 --> 00:56:59,036
It was right next to
where we sleep.

1204
00:56:59,038 --> 00:57:00,435
I know,
but when people leave stuff--

1205
00:57:00,437 --> 00:57:02,302
When it's other people's
personal property

1206
00:57:02,304 --> 00:57:03,902
that's obviously their property,

1207
00:57:03,904 --> 00:57:05,335
you don't touch it, okay?

1208
00:57:05,337 --> 00:57:07,069
Like, that's just like
a rule in life.

1209
00:57:07,071 --> 00:57:08,435
Yeah, but it's weird.
Like, really weird.

1210
00:57:08,437 --> 00:57:10,271
Okay, I know. But it's just...

1211
00:57:10,937 --> 00:57:13,204
It's just a joke book, okay?

1212
00:57:14,204 --> 00:57:15,437
Jokes?

1213
00:57:15,971 --> 00:57:18,537
No, more like... just maybe...

1214
00:57:20,071 --> 00:57:21,435
jokes that
I've been thinking about.

1215
00:57:21,437 --> 00:57:23,302
You know, like, like made up...

1216
00:57:23,304 --> 00:57:24,902
-funny stories.
-They aren't funny, Dad.

1217
00:57:24,904 --> 00:57:27,468
You write about so much stuff,
like... radio-ologist.

1218
00:57:27,470 --> 00:57:28,871
And surfer.

1219
00:57:31,004 --> 00:57:34,570
-What's a radio-ologist?
-And talk about us and Mom.

1220
00:57:35,470 --> 00:57:37,935
I know, I know, but you guys--
you guys are real.

1221
00:57:37,937 --> 00:57:39,368
And me and your mom are real.

1222
00:57:39,370 --> 00:57:42,335
And the radiologist is made up.
He's a kind of doctor.

1223
00:57:42,337 --> 00:57:44,368
And the surfer...
The surfer's made up.

1224
00:57:44,370 --> 00:57:46,904
Those are just characters, okay?
And-- and it's like, I'm...

1225
00:57:49,304 --> 00:57:52,568
It's like I'm making up stories,
you know,

1226
00:57:52,570 --> 00:57:55,069
because a lot of stuff
is changing.

1227
00:57:55,071 --> 00:57:57,935
Right? And it's-- and it's
kind of a way to process it all.

1228
00:57:57,937 --> 00:57:59,535
-Do you know what I mean?
-Mm-hmm.

1229
00:57:59,537 --> 00:58:02,837
Oh, no. Come on.
Come on, come on. Hey, hey.

1230
00:58:03,937 --> 00:58:05,502
Hey, listen. Hey, hey.

1231
00:58:05,504 --> 00:58:07,202
No, listen, none of it's real.

1232
00:58:07,204 --> 00:58:09,169
That's all made-up stuff, okay?

1233
00:58:09,171 --> 00:58:11,169
Come on. Come on.
It's just made up.

1234
00:58:11,171 --> 00:58:14,337
None of it's real life,
really. Okay?

1235
00:58:14,871 --> 00:58:16,871
You know how sometimes
you use your imagination...

1236
00:58:17,871 --> 00:58:21,104
to make up stories, you know?
And games and stuff?

1237
00:58:21,937 --> 00:58:22,771
It's like that.

1238
00:58:24,304 --> 00:58:26,535
It's like the grown-up version
of that.

1239
00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,071
And I'm-- I'm just--

1240
00:58:31,304 --> 00:58:33,238
I don't know what I'm doing.

1241
00:58:35,171 --> 00:58:36,402
But you can ask me anything

1242
00:58:36,404 --> 00:58:37,902
and I'll tell you
the truth, okay?

1243
00:58:37,904 --> 00:58:40,269
Okay, but it's weird, Dad.

1244
00:58:40,271 --> 00:58:42,370
I know. Life's weird.

1245
00:58:53,238 --> 00:58:55,368
-Hey, Kemp.
<i>-Hey. I got a set for you.</i>

1246
00:58:55,370 --> 00:58:56,537
O-Okay.

1247
00:58:56,971 --> 00:58:58,502
It's so weird.

1248
00:58:58,504 --> 00:59:01,104
-Like an open mic thing?
<i>-No, no, no, guest spot.</i>

1249
00:59:01,271 --> 00:59:02,568
-Really?
<i>-Yep.</i>

1250
00:59:02,570 --> 00:59:04,204
Wow. Okay.

1251
00:59:05,304 --> 00:59:07,568
-When? Is...
<i>-Tonight, 8:00.</i>

1252
00:59:07,570 --> 00:59:09,537
-Tonight, as in today, tonight?
<i>-Yeah.</i>

1253
00:59:11,038 --> 00:59:12,502
No, I don't know.
I don't know if I can--

1254
00:59:12,504 --> 00:59:14,871
I don't know if I
can really step-- step away.

1255
00:59:15,504 --> 00:59:17,368
No, no. Wait. Sorry. Sorry.

1256
00:59:17,370 --> 00:59:18,869
No, no, no. Wait.
I'll do it. I'll do it.

1257
00:59:18,871 --> 00:59:19,437
Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll do it.

1258
00:59:21,337 --> 00:59:22,568
-Hey. Hey.
-Hey.

1259
00:59:22,570 --> 00:59:24,236
What's going on?
Is everything okay?

1260
00:59:24,238 --> 00:59:25,236
Yeah, everything's great.
Everything's great.

1261
00:59:25,238 --> 00:59:26,602
Everything's good.

1262
00:59:26,604 --> 00:59:28,136
-Are the boys okay?
-Yeah, the boys are great.

1263
00:59:28,138 --> 00:59:29,435
Hey, listen, do you mind

1264
00:59:29,437 --> 00:59:31,069
if I drop them off here
for a couple hours?

1265
00:59:31,071 --> 00:59:33,136
-I know it's last minute, but--
-What the fuck?

1266
00:59:33,138 --> 00:59:34,568
No, no, I--
Listen, Tess, please--

1267
00:59:34,570 --> 00:59:37,136
Listen, don't ambush me
like this in front of the boys

1268
00:59:37,138 --> 00:59:39,502
as though they can't come home
whenever they want.

1269
00:59:39,504 --> 00:59:42,535
Like I'm trying to keep them
from being inside?

1270
00:59:42,537 --> 00:59:44,570
Come on. That sucks.

1271
00:59:45,304 --> 00:59:47,038
-Look--
-You suck.

1272
00:59:48,404 --> 00:59:49,837
<i>You</i> suck!

1273
00:59:50,370 --> 00:59:52,136
-What the fuck?
-Hey, where are you going?

1274
00:59:52,138 --> 00:59:53,935
You know, I got it covered.

1275
00:59:53,937 --> 00:59:55,502
-No, where are you going?
-No, no, forget it. Forget it.

1276
00:59:55,504 --> 00:59:56,568
-Hey, Lucy! No!
-Yeah. Good.

1277
00:59:56,570 --> 00:59:58,036
Let's go, Charlie, let's go!

1278
00:59:58,038 --> 00:59:59,969
-No, Charlie, stay!
-No, I got 'em all.

1279
00:59:59,971 --> 01:00:01,102
-What?
-I got it covered.

1280
01:00:01,104 --> 01:00:02,302
You don't even have leashes.

1281
01:00:02,304 --> 01:00:04,468
No, it's okay.
I got my own leashes.

1282
01:00:04,470 --> 01:00:06,504
I got lots of leashes.

1283
01:00:09,038 --> 01:00:10,302
Okay.

1284
01:00:10,304 --> 01:00:12,271
-Hi, Grandma!
-Puppy dogs!

1285
01:00:13,304 --> 01:00:16,269
-Hi, darlin's.
-I'm sorry. Sorry about this.

1286
01:00:16,271 --> 01:00:17,568
I know it's last minute.
Come on.

1287
01:00:17,570 --> 01:00:20,169
Please. I'm so happy
that you thought of us.

1288
01:00:20,171 --> 01:00:22,236
Are you kidding?
Who else would we think of?

1289
01:00:22,238 --> 01:00:24,468
-Please do not feed the dogs.
-Hi, Grandpa.

1290
01:00:24,470 --> 01:00:25,902
Okay.

1291
01:00:25,904 --> 01:00:28,236
-Hey, Dad. Hi. Hey.
-Hey, son. Hi.

1292
01:00:28,238 --> 01:00:29,568
No, no, no.

1293
01:00:29,570 --> 01:00:31,236
-I can't stay for dinner.
-What?

1294
01:00:31,238 --> 01:00:33,236
-I gotta go back to the city.
-Well, yes, you can.

1295
01:00:33,238 --> 01:00:36,835
It's not good to run around
on an empty stomach.

1296
01:00:36,837 --> 01:00:39,335
Read between the lines, Marilyn.
He's got a hot date.

1297
01:00:39,337 --> 01:00:41,102
-Dad, don't--
-Hot date?

1298
01:00:41,104 --> 01:00:43,136
-You can stay for a quick bite.
-Dad has a hot date?

1299
01:00:43,138 --> 01:00:44,535
No, I can't stay
for a quick bite.

1300
01:00:44,537 --> 01:00:46,335
-I gotta get back to the city.
-Do you have any Jell-O?

1301
01:00:46,337 --> 01:00:48,568
I told you--
No, no, no. I have to go--

1302
01:00:48,570 --> 01:00:50,468
If you must know,
I gotta get changed

1303
01:00:50,470 --> 01:00:52,036
and I'm going to a comedy club.

1304
01:00:52,038 --> 01:00:53,969
What? Well, you can go later.

1305
01:00:53,971 --> 01:00:55,435
You know, you want to go later,

1306
01:00:55,437 --> 01:00:57,169
because they usually
put the guys

1307
01:00:57,171 --> 01:00:58,535
who ain't so funny
at the beginning,

1308
01:00:58,537 --> 01:01:00,468
and then... so the pros
look better later on.

1309
01:01:00,470 --> 01:01:03,238
No, I can't--
I can't be late because I'm...

1310
01:01:03,837 --> 01:01:05,804
-I'm one of the guys going up.
-What?

1311
01:01:06,937 --> 01:01:08,402
I've been doing
open mic nights.

1312
01:01:08,404 --> 01:01:10,435
-What's an open mic?
-I just-- And, they--

1313
01:01:10,437 --> 01:01:11,568
I just got a call that
one of the comics

1314
01:01:11,570 --> 01:01:13,302
who's emceeing
at the club tonight,

1315
01:01:13,304 --> 01:01:15,435
they agreed to give me
ten minutes on stage.

1316
01:01:15,437 --> 01:01:16,902
I'm one of the acts.
One of the comedy acts.

1317
01:01:16,904 --> 01:01:18,468
-You?
-Yeah, me.

1318
01:01:18,470 --> 01:01:22,537
Well-- so, I don't know--
What do you do, you tell jokes?

1319
01:01:23,271 --> 01:01:25,335
I mean, sort of.
Well, kind of...

1320
01:01:25,337 --> 01:01:27,136
more like funny stories
about my life.

1321
01:01:27,138 --> 01:01:28,568
-Oh, honey.
-What's funny about your life?

1322
01:01:28,570 --> 01:01:30,269
I had no idea
your life was so bad.

1323
01:01:30,271 --> 01:01:32,069
No, no, no, it's not so bad.

1324
01:01:32,071 --> 01:01:34,269
-This is why she threw you out!
-What's funny about your life?

1325
01:01:34,271 --> 01:01:36,502
-She threw you out?
-Nobody threw me out, guys.

1326
01:01:36,504 --> 01:01:38,969
No, I love her.
Mom, what are you doing?

1327
01:01:38,971 --> 01:01:40,535
Nobody threw me out.
Nobody threw me out.

1328
01:01:40,537 --> 01:01:41,603
-I left by mutual consent.
-She threw you out?

1329
01:01:41,605 --> 01:01:44,402
No. Everybody knows that.
I left by mutual consent.

1330
01:01:44,404 --> 01:01:47,236
And, by the way, I'm not
in a bad place. I'm happy.

1331
01:01:47,238 --> 01:01:49,937
And doing this,
it makes me feel good.

1332
01:01:50,337 --> 01:01:53,835
-You know? It helps.
-How? How does it help

1333
01:01:53,837 --> 01:01:56,502
to have a roomful of people
laughing at you?

1334
01:01:56,504 --> 01:01:58,136
-They're not laughing at me.
-Son. Son.

1335
01:01:58,138 --> 01:01:59,869
And it's not bad
to have them laugh.

1336
01:01:59,871 --> 01:02:02,269
Son, you know what this is?
This is a mid-life crisis.

1337
01:02:02,271 --> 01:02:03,835
-That's what it is.
-Oh, Dad...

1338
01:02:03,837 --> 01:02:06,368
So, why you... Just go
get yourself a motorcycle.

1339
01:02:06,370 --> 01:02:08,002
I don't know. A leather jacket.

1340
01:02:08,004 --> 01:02:09,169
No. Dad, listen.
I love you very much.

1341
01:02:09,171 --> 01:02:10,835
-I love you all. Love you guys.
-Come on.

1342
01:02:10,837 --> 01:02:12,402
I will see you in the morning.
Thank you so much.

1343
01:02:12,404 --> 01:02:14,335
Remember to pick us up
on your new motorcycle!

1344
01:02:14,337 --> 01:02:16,036
Nobody's getting a motorcycle.

1345
01:02:16,038 --> 01:02:19,138
No, it is definitely not a date.

1346
01:02:19,537 --> 01:02:23,335
Because he has a wife,
and he's had children.

1347
01:02:23,337 --> 01:02:25,204
They've been together for ages.

1348
01:02:25,904 --> 01:02:28,071
Yes, yes. Always just friends.

1349
01:02:28,571 --> 01:02:30,069
He called because
he heard that

1350
01:02:30,071 --> 01:02:31,804
I was putting out feelers
about coaching.

1351
01:02:49,071 --> 01:02:50,071
Okay.

1352
01:02:56,571 --> 01:02:59,002
-Hey. I'm meeting...
-Hi, welcome.

1353
01:02:59,004 --> 01:03:01,004
I see him right there.
Thank you.

1354
01:03:05,871 --> 01:03:07,904
Excuse me. Hey.

1355
01:03:08,538 --> 01:03:09,902
How you doing?

1356
01:03:09,904 --> 01:03:11,202
"We're gonna need that hand,
Roche!"

1357
01:03:11,204 --> 01:03:14,102
Stop.

1358
01:03:14,104 --> 01:03:16,835
I used to slam the floor
so fucking hard

1359
01:03:16,837 --> 01:03:18,603
and pretend it didn't hurt.

1360
01:03:18,605 --> 01:03:20,835
Look, that's what made you
a champion.

1361
01:03:20,837 --> 01:03:23,138
Your singular focus,
your dedication.

1362
01:03:24,204 --> 01:03:27,002
That's why I heard
you wanted to get into coaching,

1363
01:03:27,004 --> 01:03:28,236
I had to reach out.

1364
01:03:28,238 --> 01:03:29,935
It's very flattering.

1365
01:03:29,937 --> 01:03:31,503
I was really excited
you reached out.

1366
01:03:31,505 --> 01:03:33,902
Half the US Women's
volleyball team

1367
01:03:33,904 --> 01:03:36,202
has come out of our program.

1368
01:03:36,204 --> 01:03:38,302
And the truth is,
I've been missing it

1369
01:03:38,304 --> 01:03:40,337
every single day
since I retired.

1370
01:03:40,971 --> 01:03:42,503
I just...

1371
01:03:42,505 --> 01:03:45,404
Yeah, I knew coaching
would be a great way back in.

1372
01:03:45,837 --> 01:03:47,569
I guess part of me
didn't want to accept

1373
01:03:47,571 --> 01:03:49,337
that I wasn't a player anymore.

1374
01:03:49,837 --> 01:03:52,302
You know, so much of my identity
was wrapped up in it and...

1375
01:03:52,304 --> 01:03:54,435
I get that. But I'm telling you,

1376
01:03:54,437 --> 01:03:57,102
coaching fills that void
for you.

1377
01:03:57,104 --> 01:03:58,935
It forces you to shift gears.

1378
01:03:58,937 --> 01:04:01,402
You stop using the phrase,
"Hey, back when I played..."

1379
01:04:01,404 --> 01:04:02,536
Right.

1380
01:04:02,538 --> 01:04:05,337
You learn
to make everyone better

1381
01:04:05,904 --> 01:04:08,236
without comparing them
to yourself.

1382
01:04:08,238 --> 01:04:10,236
Right. Amazing.

1383
01:04:10,238 --> 01:04:12,102
Is-- Is it frustrating?

1384
01:04:12,104 --> 01:04:15,102
-Yes! Absolutely frustrating.
-Oh. Okay.

1385
01:04:15,104 --> 01:04:16,302
That's just a given.

1386
01:04:16,304 --> 01:04:18,102
I think it'll always
be that way.

1387
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:21,269
But for me, I can't tell you
how gratifying it is

1388
01:04:21,271 --> 01:04:25,471
to be part of a sport as
it evolves, despite not playing.

1389
01:04:26,138 --> 01:04:28,002
-Wow.
-That's what does it for me.

1390
01:04:28,004 --> 01:04:30,902
The best part, my three
daughters, they love it.

1391
01:04:30,904 --> 01:04:33,169
They actually
think their dad is cool.

1392
01:04:33,171 --> 01:04:36,102
Hey, how's Tracy?
What a beast she was.

1393
01:04:36,104 --> 01:04:37,269
She's good.

1394
01:04:37,271 --> 01:04:39,603
She's, uh, in Salt Lake,
doing her thing.

1395
01:04:39,605 --> 01:04:41,368
Oh, yeah. Is she skiing or...?

1396
01:04:41,370 --> 01:04:42,304
Polygamy.

1397
01:04:45,071 --> 01:04:46,835
Oh!

1398
01:04:46,837 --> 01:04:48,536
Yeah, look. It threw us
for a loop. Don't get me wrong.

1399
01:04:48,538 --> 01:04:51,104
But... it's all worked out.

1400
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:54,304
-I-I didn't know you'd split.
-Seven years now.

1401
01:04:55,004 --> 01:04:56,902
I have to admit,
being single

1402
01:04:56,904 --> 01:04:58,804
in your mid-to-late-forties
is, uh...

1403
01:04:59,538 --> 01:05:01,505
What's the word here?
Interesting?

1404
01:05:02,571 --> 01:05:04,335
-Okay?
-Is that the word?

1405
01:05:04,337 --> 01:05:05,304
But...

1406
01:05:07,004 --> 01:05:09,202
I'd be lost without coaching.

1407
01:05:09,204 --> 01:05:10,505
It-- It saved me.

1408
01:05:11,871 --> 01:05:13,536
So... All right.
Enough about me.

1409
01:05:13,538 --> 01:05:15,169
Alex. How's he doing?

1410
01:05:15,171 --> 01:05:17,069
-Two boys, right?
-Two boys.

1411
01:05:17,071 --> 01:05:19,004
-How are they?
-They are great.

1412
01:05:19,370 --> 01:05:21,835
Well, adjusting, 'cause, uh,

1413
01:05:21,837 --> 01:05:23,469
Alex and I decided
to take a little break.

1414
01:05:23,471 --> 01:05:24,971
Oh, no.

1415
01:05:25,605 --> 01:05:27,337
I'm sorry. I hadn't heard that.

1416
01:05:27,605 --> 01:05:29,337
Yeah. No, it's...

1417
01:05:30,370 --> 01:05:32,304
Wait, it's not a break.

1418
01:05:33,238 --> 01:05:35,171
We split. He moved out.

1419
01:05:36,571 --> 01:05:38,469
-Wow.
-Uh, it's over. Yeah.

1420
01:05:38,471 --> 01:05:40,071
Wow. Okay.

1421
01:05:40,538 --> 01:05:41,804
Yeah, it's actually good.

1422
01:05:43,038 --> 01:05:45,102
I gotta admit, I'm shocked.

1423
01:05:45,104 --> 01:05:47,304
You two just seemed like
a perfect fit to me.

1424
01:05:48,605 --> 01:05:51,971
Yeah. Me too, but, um...

1425
01:05:55,371 --> 01:05:56,571
I guess we just...

1426
01:05:59,104 --> 01:06:01,069
...slowly grew away
from each other.

1427
01:06:01,071 --> 01:06:02,204
If that makes any sense.

1428
01:06:02,904 --> 01:06:03,871
I get that.

1429
01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:06,204
Jeez, Tess, I'm...

1430
01:06:07,538 --> 01:06:09,071
I'm glad I reached out.

1431
01:06:14,571 --> 01:06:15,835
Yeah.

1432
01:06:15,837 --> 01:06:18,238
Are you tired? 'Cause I'm not.

1433
01:06:18,937 --> 01:06:20,503
I'm not tired. Absolutely not.

1434
01:06:20,505 --> 01:06:21,869
My buddy says
there's a great place

1435
01:06:21,871 --> 01:06:23,269
right around the corner,
actually.

1436
01:06:23,271 --> 01:06:26,603
Oh. Amazing. I'm gonna just...

1437
01:06:26,605 --> 01:06:27,971
-Yeah. Okay.
-...use the restroom and...

1438
01:06:28,505 --> 01:06:29,438
Be right back.

1439
01:06:45,038 --> 01:06:45,871
Yeah.

1440
01:06:46,605 --> 01:06:48,305
Fuck it.

1441
01:06:50,471 --> 01:06:51,971
-All right. Following you.
-Okay.

1442
01:06:53,471 --> 01:06:55,036
Sounds fun.

1443
01:06:55,038 --> 01:06:56,969
No, I'm not gonna do it, but...

1444
01:06:56,971 --> 01:06:58,238
Absolutely not.

1445
01:07:03,305 --> 01:07:04,869
-They letting you go up tonight?
-Yeah.

1446
01:07:04,871 --> 01:07:06,171
We'll see.
I'm a little bit late.

1447
01:07:07,338 --> 01:07:08,869
-Fuck. Cutting it close.
-Sorry.

1448
01:07:08,871 --> 01:07:10,605
I got held up. I'm sorry.

1449
01:07:12,305 --> 01:07:13,503
I was starting to think
you were bailing on me.

1450
01:07:13,505 --> 01:07:15,069
What? No, no, no. No.

1451
01:07:15,071 --> 01:07:16,270
-Whatever, I just--
-You want a drink?

1452
01:07:16,272 --> 01:07:17,503
-No, no, no. I'm good.
-Okay.

1453
01:07:17,505 --> 01:07:19,338
Oh, my God, I need a beer.

1454
01:07:21,471 --> 01:07:22,969
Big night.

1455
01:07:22,971 --> 01:07:24,469
-Big night tonight.
-Oh, my God.

1456
01:07:24,471 --> 01:07:26,603
-You're gonna kill it.
-I know, I know.

1457
01:07:26,605 --> 01:07:28,438
Then we'll see.
I'll meet you up here.

1458
01:07:29,204 --> 01:07:30,605
I'll meet you back here
when we're done.

1459
01:07:37,505 --> 01:07:40,837
♪ I needed to know where
The river came out, come on ♪

1460
01:07:41,238 --> 01:07:43,236
Uh, Sam Jay has the light.
You have two minutes.

1461
01:07:43,238 --> 01:07:44,305
Okay.

1462
01:07:45,871 --> 01:07:47,171
You're gonna be great.

1463
01:08:02,405 --> 01:08:05,071
We can't just fuck and
make a kid. We can't do that.

1464
01:08:05,338 --> 01:08:06,869
So it's like,
how we gonna do it?

1465
01:08:06,871 --> 01:08:08,837
Someone's gotta go buy nut
and I'm not buying nut.

1466
01:08:10,204 --> 01:08:11,436
I'm not.
I'm not goin' to the nut store,

1467
01:08:11,438 --> 01:08:12,603
ask nobody for no nut.

1468
01:08:12,605 --> 01:08:14,169
And she got upset
when I told her that.

1469
01:08:14,171 --> 01:08:15,969
She's, like, "You're an asshole.

1470
01:08:15,971 --> 01:08:18,237
We don't just have to buy a nut.
We can just adopt."

1471
01:08:18,239 --> 01:08:19,835
I'm like, "All right." Now
we're going to the baby store

1472
01:08:19,837 --> 01:08:22,069
and buying a whole one, so...

1473
01:08:22,071 --> 01:08:24,138
Hey, my name's been Sam Jay.
Thank you so much.

1474
01:08:27,538 --> 01:08:29,371
Yeah!

1475
01:08:30,871 --> 01:08:32,270
You guys,
give it up for Sam Jay!

1476
01:08:32,272 --> 01:08:33,937
I hope
there's somebody else.

1477
01:08:34,305 --> 01:08:36,371
-She was great.
-She was great.

1478
01:08:37,538 --> 01:08:39,069
-This is so fun.
-It's cool, right?

1479
01:08:39,071 --> 01:08:40,436
Love it.

1480
01:08:40,438 --> 01:08:40,969
Next comedian
coming to the stage...

1481
01:08:40,971 --> 01:08:42,303
I'm glad we're here.

1482
01:08:42,305 --> 01:08:43,835
...first time on this show.

1483
01:08:43,837 --> 01:08:45,969
Yeah, so I need you guys
to give him a lot of energy.

1484
01:08:45,971 --> 01:08:47,503
Start clapping,
make a lot of noise...

1485
01:08:47,505 --> 01:08:48,935
All right.
Somebody else coming.

1486
01:08:48,937 --> 01:08:51,405
...and give it up
for Alex Novak!

1487
01:08:55,004 --> 01:08:56,239
How you doing?

1488
01:08:58,371 --> 01:09:01,170
Oh! How you guys doing tonight?

1489
01:09:01,172 --> 01:09:03,203
Yeah! Give it up for our host.

1490
01:09:03,205 --> 01:09:04,804
-Wait.
-He's doing great, huh?

1491
01:09:05,138 --> 01:09:07,170
What the fuck is happening?

1492
01:09:07,172 --> 01:09:08,436
Give it up for me.
I'm doing great!

1493
01:09:08,438 --> 01:09:10,369
I can promise you,
I did not know...

1494
01:09:10,371 --> 01:09:11,569
I don't--

1495
01:09:11,571 --> 01:09:12,403
My personal life's
in the shitter...

1496
01:09:12,405 --> 01:09:13,971
-Does he do--?
-No!

1497
01:09:14,305 --> 01:09:16,569
Yeah, I mean, I'm paying rent
on a shitty apartment

1498
01:09:16,571 --> 01:09:19,469
and mortgage on a house
I don't live in anymore.

1499
01:09:19,471 --> 01:09:21,969
You know? It's fine.
And one of my teeth hurts.

1500
01:09:21,971 --> 01:09:24,336
And I don't even know
where my dentist is.

1501
01:09:24,338 --> 01:09:26,303
My ex used to handle all that.

1502
01:09:26,305 --> 01:09:28,904
But other than that,
you know... Hey...

1503
01:09:29,837 --> 01:09:31,835
I had sex with a woman.

1504
01:09:31,837 --> 01:09:34,139
Yeah, so like I said,
I'm doing great.

1505
01:09:36,004 --> 01:09:37,239
Yeah.

1506
01:09:38,971 --> 01:09:42,038
I never thought I'd get applause
for having sex with a woman.

1507
01:09:42,505 --> 01:09:45,102
Like, "You finally did it!"

1508
01:09:45,104 --> 01:09:46,338
Yeah!

1509
01:09:47,505 --> 01:09:51,172
Uh, yeah. No, I had sex
with a... with a woman, um...

1510
01:09:51,904 --> 01:09:54,336
after, you know, being married
for a number of years.

1511
01:09:54,338 --> 01:09:56,272
And... and it was...

1512
01:09:57,272 --> 01:09:58,569
...scary.

1513
01:09:58,571 --> 01:10:00,036
Yeah.

1514
01:10:00,038 --> 01:10:02,471
But at least
I was not very good at it.

1515
01:10:04,505 --> 01:10:08,403
I think that after-- I think
after 20 years of marriage,

1516
01:10:08,405 --> 01:10:12,036
you know, you just get used to
doing things a certain way.

1517
01:10:12,038 --> 01:10:14,036
You know what I mean?
Like, sex with your wi--

1518
01:10:14,038 --> 01:10:15,969
It's-- It's fine.
It was great with my--

1519
01:10:15,971 --> 01:10:18,403
It's like, you know
when you go to an Airbnb,

1520
01:10:18,405 --> 01:10:22,036
and you go into the kitchen, and
it kind of looks the same, like,

1521
01:10:22,038 --> 01:10:24,069
but it's just
a little bit different?

1522
01:10:24,071 --> 01:10:26,935
Like, certain spoons
are in different drawers?

1523
01:10:26,937 --> 01:10:28,403
So you're kind of
looking around,

1524
01:10:28,405 --> 01:10:30,137
you're opening stuff up,
and you're like--

1525
01:10:30,139 --> 01:10:32,105
And I was doing that
on a human body.

1526
01:10:33,505 --> 01:10:36,403
I don't know, I feel like
sex now has really changed

1527
01:10:36,405 --> 01:10:40,536
since back when
I was out there in the game 20--

1528
01:10:40,538 --> 01:10:42,569
I never cheated on my wife,
so this is the first--

1529
01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:44,303
And it feels like now...

1530
01:10:44,305 --> 01:10:45,403
Are you sure
you don't want to leave?

1531
01:10:45,405 --> 01:10:46,403
...there are so many noises

1532
01:10:46,405 --> 01:10:48,002
-that she was making.
-No.

1533
01:10:48,004 --> 01:10:49,002
-...so animalistic.
-I don't want to go anywhere.

1534
01:10:49,004 --> 01:10:51,036
And it just felt like
two apes fucking.

1535
01:10:51,038 --> 01:10:53,170
Obviously,
apes do not make love, right?

1536
01:10:53,172 --> 01:10:55,303
Nobody imagines
that apes are like this,

1537
01:10:55,305 --> 01:10:57,103
staring in
each other's eyes, saying,

1538
01:10:57,105 --> 01:11:00,237
"I love you. And
let's come at the same time."

1539
01:11:00,239 --> 01:11:02,137
Apes don't do that shit.

1540
01:11:02,139 --> 01:11:05,303
Apes are doing it, fucking,
you know, dog-style.

1541
01:11:05,305 --> 01:11:07,902
Or ape-style.
Whatever the fuck it is.

1542
01:11:07,904 --> 01:11:10,436
I don't know.

1543
01:11:10,438 --> 01:11:12,303
I gotta tell you,
the whole experience,

1544
01:11:12,305 --> 01:11:14,203
to be honest,
made me miss my wife.

1545
01:11:14,205 --> 01:11:15,971
It really did. Yeah.

1546
01:11:16,371 --> 01:11:20,072
Which was, um,
surprising because...

1547
01:11:20,971 --> 01:11:22,237
we had a lot of fights.

1548
01:11:22,239 --> 01:11:24,804
Listen... And, um...

1549
01:11:25,272 --> 01:11:28,272
And I actually kind of ended up
missing some of our fights, too.

1550
01:11:29,072 --> 01:11:31,371
Yeah, they were...
Our fights were...

1551
01:11:31,571 --> 01:11:32,837
Uh...

1552
01:11:33,305 --> 01:11:35,336
...psychological?

1553
01:11:35,338 --> 01:11:37,039
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I mean by that?

1554
01:11:38,338 --> 01:11:41,037
All the dudes know what I mean.

1555
01:11:41,039 --> 01:11:42,869
They're like,
"Yeah. Every interaction

1556
01:11:42,871 --> 01:11:45,272
is a fucking
psychological minefield."

1557
01:11:46,105 --> 01:11:47,969
You know when your wife
or your partner

1558
01:11:47,971 --> 01:11:49,835
gets really, really quiet,

1559
01:11:49,837 --> 01:11:52,338
and now you gotta
guess what's wrong?

1560
01:11:52,605 --> 01:11:56,569
So, you have to ask
a blanket, like, question.

1561
01:11:56,571 --> 01:11:58,203
Keep it really gener--

1562
01:11:58,205 --> 01:12:01,403
I remember one time,
my ex-wife and I were driving,

1563
01:12:01,405 --> 01:12:02,937
coming home
from a friend's place.

1564
01:12:03,904 --> 01:12:06,305
And she is so quiet.

1565
01:12:07,305 --> 01:12:09,137
She's so quiet, like...

1566
01:12:09,139 --> 01:12:10,871
Do you remember <i>Jacob's Ladder?</i>

1567
01:12:11,972 --> 01:12:13,603
It was like that. Right?

1568
01:12:13,605 --> 01:12:16,203
I'm sort of dating myself
a little bit, but it was...

1569
01:12:16,205 --> 01:12:19,270
It was like I was questioning
my own existence on the planet,

1570
01:12:19,272 --> 01:12:20,403
it was so quiet.

1571
01:12:20,405 --> 01:12:22,869
Just the two of us, in the car,

1572
01:12:22,871 --> 01:12:26,438
and I'm so scared
of what she's gonna say.

1573
01:12:27,139 --> 01:12:29,103
So I just go...

1574
01:12:29,105 --> 01:12:30,405
I muster up the courage.

1575
01:12:32,571 --> 01:12:34,139
"Honey, are you mad at me?"

1576
01:12:36,471 --> 01:12:38,103
And she looks at me
and she goes,

1577
01:12:38,105 --> 01:12:42,369
"You know, sometimes I just
wish that you'd talk to me

1578
01:12:42,371 --> 01:12:44,471
the same way that you talk
to your friends."

1579
01:12:46,205 --> 01:12:47,505
And I go, "Okay."

1580
01:12:51,039 --> 01:12:53,039
"Dude,
my wife is driving me crazy."

1581
01:12:56,139 --> 01:12:57,603
Awesome.
You guys have been so great.

1582
01:12:57,605 --> 01:12:59,936
Thanks so much.
I've been Alex Novak.

1583
01:12:59,938 --> 01:13:01,303
All right, guys, thanks so much.
Good night.

1584
01:13:01,305 --> 01:13:02,538
Let's go.

1585
01:13:06,272 --> 01:13:09,103
You guys,
give it up for Alex Novak!

1586
01:13:09,105 --> 01:13:11,503
Oh, my God!
Alex, that was fantastic!

1587
01:13:11,505 --> 01:13:13,303
Yes! You were so good!

1588
01:13:13,305 --> 01:13:14,569
Hey, can I get some water,
please?

1589
01:13:14,571 --> 01:13:16,203
Absolutely, man. Yeah.

1590
01:13:16,205 --> 01:13:18,037
-Yeah.
-This is Laird. Sorry.

1591
01:13:18,039 --> 01:13:19,835
I'm Nina. Nice to meet you.
Good to see you.

1592
01:13:19,837 --> 01:13:21,237
Good to-- Yeah, we're gonna...

1593
01:13:21,239 --> 01:13:23,105
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I get it.

1594
01:13:23,438 --> 01:13:25,037
-It's a lot.
-All right.

1595
01:13:25,039 --> 01:13:26,203
You guys ready for this
next comedian? Say, "Hell yeah."

1596
01:13:26,205 --> 01:13:28,137
Hell yeah!

1597
01:13:28,139 --> 01:13:29,503
Start clapping right now.

1598
01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:34,505
Give it up right now
for the legend, Mr. Dave Attell!

1599
01:13:37,405 --> 01:13:39,369
Wow! What a night!

1600
01:13:39,371 --> 01:13:41,469
-Hey! How was it?
-It was so good.

1601
01:13:41,471 --> 01:13:43,103
-Was it good?
-I'm so proud of you.

1602
01:13:43,105 --> 01:13:44,869
-I just opened for Dave Attell!
-You ballsy motherfucker.

1603
01:13:44,871 --> 01:13:46,903
Yeah, you just did that set
in front of your wife.

1604
01:13:46,905 --> 01:13:48,436
-I respect that.
-What are you mean?

1605
01:13:48,438 --> 01:13:49,936
Tess is here with Laird.
The tall--

1606
01:13:49,938 --> 01:13:51,336
What do you mean, Tess?
Tess is here now?

1607
01:13:51,338 --> 01:13:52,469
What are you talking about?
Where?

1608
01:13:52,471 --> 01:13:53,037
Yeah, just saw them.
They went outside.

1609
01:13:53,039 --> 01:13:54,336
Did you not invite them?

1610
01:13:54,338 --> 01:13:55,137
No, I didn't
fucking invite them!

1611
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:56,438
Jesus Christ.

1612
01:13:59,837 --> 01:14:02,336
-Holy shit. Okay.
-'Cause I said so.

1613
01:14:02,338 --> 01:14:05,037
-Take it easy there, bruh.
-Whoa!

1614
01:14:05,039 --> 01:14:06,938
-What?
-You found a sitter?

1615
01:14:07,139 --> 01:14:09,137
No, I got them working
at the falafel place right here.

1616
01:14:09,139 --> 01:14:10,336
They're at your folks' place?

1617
01:14:10,338 --> 01:14:11,205
Yeah.

1618
01:14:12,471 --> 01:14:14,835
-What the fuck are you--?
-What the fuck?

1619
01:14:14,837 --> 01:14:16,303
What the fuck, me?
What the fuck are--?

1620
01:14:16,305 --> 01:14:17,970
You've been moving on, huh?

1621
01:14:17,972 --> 01:14:20,270
Me, moving on?
You show up with fucking Laird?

1622
01:14:20,272 --> 01:14:21,569
Who I just said goodbye to.

1623
01:14:21,571 --> 01:14:22,536
Okay, but Laird,
of all fucking people.

1624
01:14:22,538 --> 01:14:23,569
What the fuck do you care?

1625
01:14:23,571 --> 01:14:24,369
How long have you
been fucking him?

1626
01:14:24,371 --> 01:14:25,336
For years.

1627
01:14:25,338 --> 01:14:26,438
-No.
-No.

1628
01:14:26,838 --> 01:14:28,338
Oh, fuck.

1629
01:14:29,005 --> 01:14:30,569
How long you been doing...

1630
01:14:30,571 --> 01:14:32,170
-stand-up comedy?
-No, I only did that one time.

1631
01:14:32,172 --> 01:14:34,005
-Jesus Christ.
-Oh.

1632
01:14:34,338 --> 01:14:35,804
Mmm.

1633
01:14:38,838 --> 01:14:39,838
Sorry, I thought you...

1634
01:14:41,205 --> 01:14:42,905
Yeah, stand-up
I've been doing for a while.

1635
01:14:45,371 --> 01:14:47,137
So I'm the only one
who doesn't know you do this?

1636
01:14:47,139 --> 01:14:48,571
Actually, tonight
was kind of a big night.

1637
01:14:50,239 --> 01:14:53,072
I mean, it's obviously
bigger now that...

1638
01:14:54,872 --> 01:14:56,569
I usually only do
open mic nights,

1639
01:14:56,571 --> 01:14:57,972
and they're, like,
half the crowd, and...

1640
01:14:59,205 --> 01:15:00,369
I don't know
why I never told you.

1641
01:15:00,371 --> 01:15:01,970
I haven't even really
told myself

1642
01:15:01,972 --> 01:15:03,139
that it's becoming a thing,
you know?

1643
01:15:05,972 --> 01:15:07,105
It's hot.

1644
01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:09,405
Really?

1645
01:15:11,938 --> 01:15:13,172
Give me a drag.

1646
01:15:26,371 --> 01:15:27,972
Mmm.

1647
01:15:31,272 --> 01:15:33,037
Hey, will you pass me my smokes?

1648
01:15:33,039 --> 01:15:33,938
I think they're
on the table there.

1649
01:15:35,505 --> 01:15:37,436
If you hit the light.
The button's right on the...

1650
01:15:37,438 --> 01:15:38,838
You got it.

1651
01:15:39,371 --> 01:15:40,870
I think the lighter's there
too, right?

1652
01:15:40,872 --> 01:15:41,805
Yeah.

1653
01:15:41,972 --> 01:15:42,872
Thanks.

1654
01:15:50,338 --> 01:15:52,039
What's with all the smoking?

1655
01:15:53,371 --> 01:15:55,436
I feel like we're
in our twenties again.

1656
01:15:55,438 --> 01:15:57,338
Mmm.

1657
01:15:58,905 --> 01:16:00,039
Mmm.

1658
01:16:04,072 --> 01:16:05,970
I'm just, you know...

1659
01:16:05,972 --> 01:16:08,203
allowing myself the grace to...

1660
01:16:08,205 --> 01:16:10,471
-Marilyn?
-Yeah.

1661
01:16:13,039 --> 01:16:15,072
Let's talk about Marilyn.

1662
01:16:16,239 --> 01:16:17,805
Sorry.

1663
01:16:21,072 --> 01:16:25,039
What the absolute fuck?

1664
01:16:26,139 --> 01:16:28,003
Oh, my God.

1665
01:16:28,005 --> 01:16:30,305
Look, I think we're just gracing
the shit out of each other.

1666
01:16:30,872 --> 01:16:32,571
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry...

1667
01:16:33,338 --> 01:16:34,903
Sorry.

1668
01:16:34,905 --> 01:16:37,272
I promise
I won't bring my mom up again.

1669
01:16:39,005 --> 01:16:41,371
No, it's hot. No.

1670
01:16:45,039 --> 01:16:45,972
Oh.

1671
01:16:47,072 --> 01:16:48,239
Hey.

1672
01:16:52,105 --> 01:16:53,970
What about the boys?

1673
01:16:53,972 --> 01:16:55,538
Like, we can't tell anybody.

1674
01:16:57,338 --> 01:16:59,172
-No. No, of course.
-Right?

1675
01:16:59,538 --> 01:17:01,172
We can't confuse them.

1676
01:17:02,105 --> 01:17:05,139
'Cause, I mean, yeah.
This is confusing.

1677
01:17:06,172 --> 01:17:07,436
Yeah. No.

1678
01:17:07,438 --> 01:17:09,438
Of course. Yeah, it is.
It is confusing.

1679
01:17:12,538 --> 01:17:13,938
I'm sleeping over.

1680
01:17:15,139 --> 01:17:16,872
-Okay. Yeah.
-Yeah.

1681
01:17:17,338 --> 01:17:19,469
Uh, there's, like, boxers
and T-shirts

1682
01:17:19,471 --> 01:17:20,936
in that top drawer there.

1683
01:17:20,938 --> 01:17:22,105
-Here?
-Yeah.

1684
01:17:23,105 --> 01:17:24,872
I feel shaky.

1685
01:17:26,405 --> 01:17:27,405
Fuck.

1686
01:17:37,905 --> 01:17:40,005
I can't believe
you fucked somebody!

1687
01:17:50,305 --> 01:17:52,471
Oh, my God.

1688
01:17:54,938 --> 01:17:58,237
Did you fuck her right here?
In front of our armoire?

1689
01:17:58,239 --> 01:18:01,371
Come on. I never would have
done it in front of our armoire.

1690
01:18:02,205 --> 01:18:04,403
Do-- Do you know how
sick and twisted that'd be

1691
01:18:04,405 --> 01:18:06,338
if I did it
in front of the armoire?

1692
01:18:13,938 --> 01:18:15,536
That was fucking insane.

1693
01:18:15,538 --> 01:18:17,172
That was fucking insane.

1694
01:18:18,305 --> 01:18:19,305
Mmm.

1695
01:18:21,838 --> 01:18:23,205
You kept looking at me.

1696
01:18:25,471 --> 01:18:26,905
I always do.

1697
01:18:28,471 --> 01:18:30,538
Have you upped your parenting
since we split?

1698
01:18:31,405 --> 01:18:33,139
Out of necessity.

1699
01:18:33,438 --> 01:18:35,538
Well, yeah, that.
But, I mean, like...

1700
01:18:36,905 --> 01:18:38,205
Do you find that you'll, like...

1701
01:18:39,838 --> 01:18:41,172
Do you find that you'll, like...

1702
01:18:42,872 --> 01:18:44,172
I don't know. You'll-- You'll...

1703
01:18:44,872 --> 01:18:47,436
get off your phone
if the boys are around,

1704
01:18:47,438 --> 01:18:52,072
thinking that maybe they'll
see you on it less than me?

1705
01:18:53,172 --> 01:18:55,003
Just, like, you know--

1706
01:18:55,005 --> 01:18:57,170
being more attentive
to be better than me?

1707
01:18:57,172 --> 01:19:00,838
To, like...
to beat me at parenting?

1708
01:19:01,272 --> 01:19:02,972
Yeah. But I always do that.

1709
01:19:04,272 --> 01:19:06,170
Yeah, but, I mean,
isn't that ridiculous?

1710
01:19:06,172 --> 01:19:07,272
Yeah.

1711
01:19:07,505 --> 01:19:09,005
But I always want to win.

1712
01:19:10,205 --> 01:19:12,972
Yeah, of course.

1713
01:19:19,938 --> 01:19:20,838
Fuck.

1714
01:19:23,505 --> 01:19:25,005
Yeah. I knew you'd say that.

1715
01:19:26,239 --> 01:19:28,471
Unbelievable.
The passive aggressive.

1716
01:19:29,505 --> 01:19:32,237
My mom said
that she didn't want to, uh,

1717
01:19:32,239 --> 01:19:35,005
meddle in-in my marriage.

1718
01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:38,371
Which is exactly
what meddlers say...

1719
01:19:39,539 --> 01:19:41,239
before they meddle
in your marriage.

1720
01:19:42,505 --> 01:19:45,072
Uh... My kids, um...

1721
01:19:46,272 --> 01:19:48,170
My kids though, I know...

1722
01:19:48,172 --> 01:19:51,170
They'd probably be happy to know
that we're together. You know?

1723
01:19:51,172 --> 01:19:52,903
I mean,
I think this would make them...

1724
01:19:52,905 --> 01:19:55,003
But we cannot tell 'em.

1725
01:19:55,005 --> 01:19:59,239
Because what if the wheels
come off this particular bus?

1726
01:20:01,072 --> 01:20:02,371
That's what I'm worried about.

1727
01:20:03,371 --> 01:20:08,272
But until then, I'm just
enjoying this wild ride...

1728
01:20:09,471 --> 01:20:10,272
of...

1729
01:20:13,139 --> 01:20:16,471
...having an affair
with my ex-wife.

1730
01:20:18,405 --> 01:20:20,037
Hey, man,
just came down on my break.

1731
01:20:20,039 --> 01:20:22,239
I wanted to watch your act.
It's good. Getting better.

1732
01:20:22,471 --> 01:20:24,436
-Come on. One more time!
-Thanks, man.

1733
01:20:24,438 --> 01:20:25,369
Excuse me.

1734
01:20:25,371 --> 01:20:27,403
Well, well, well.

1735
01:20:27,405 --> 01:20:30,239
I heard you crushed the other
night with some new material.

1736
01:20:31,972 --> 01:20:33,070
You smoked my weed
and you owe me money.

1737
01:20:33,072 --> 01:20:35,270
Just gonna go out
on a limb and say I think--

1738
01:20:35,272 --> 01:20:36,903
Novak, let me get it straight.

1739
01:20:36,905 --> 01:20:40,103
So, your main is your side
and your side is the main.

1740
01:20:40,105 --> 01:20:41,137
The new main.

1741
01:20:41,139 --> 01:20:42,170
-The new main.
-Yeah.

1742
01:20:42,172 --> 01:20:43,369
That's like going to Popeyes

1743
01:20:43,371 --> 01:20:44,504
and gettin' chicken
and chicken on the side.

1744
01:20:44,506 --> 01:20:46,938
"Let me get wings
with a side of wings."

1745
01:20:47,172 --> 01:20:49,436
My grandma used to say
gettin' back with a ex

1746
01:20:49,438 --> 01:20:51,472
is like taking a shit and trying
to put it back in your asshole.

1747
01:20:52,938 --> 01:20:54,537
-Fuck you guys.
-Just let go!

1748
01:20:54,539 --> 01:20:55,836
Fuck you too, Novak!

1749
01:20:55,838 --> 01:20:57,272
Hey, love you, young Novak.

1750
01:20:58,972 --> 01:21:01,037
Yeah. Here we go!
Ready? Cover, cover!

1751
01:21:01,039 --> 01:21:03,037
Wait, you aced five.

1752
01:21:03,039 --> 01:21:05,103
I mean, she could not pass
the float serve.

1753
01:21:05,105 --> 01:21:06,504
And our hitter was on fire, too.

1754
01:21:06,506 --> 01:21:08,239
Well, you had
that great last swing.

1755
01:21:16,506 --> 01:21:17,905
You're nuts!

1756
01:21:21,072 --> 01:21:22,572
-What are you doing?
-What?

1757
01:21:25,039 --> 01:21:27,870
You drove all this way from
the city just to drive me home?

1758
01:21:27,872 --> 01:21:29,572
It's a 47-minute drive.
It's not a big deal.

1759
01:21:33,205 --> 01:21:34,305
This is scary.

1760
01:21:35,205 --> 01:21:36,872
But fuck, it's fun.

1761
01:21:38,506 --> 01:21:39,439
Yeah.

1762
01:21:43,472 --> 01:21:44,604
-Is that Mom?
-Is that Mom?

1763
01:21:44,606 --> 01:21:46,537
-Yeah.
-Whoa! That's cool.

1764
01:21:46,539 --> 01:21:47,537
What do you think?

1765
01:21:47,539 --> 01:21:48,570
Pretty cool.

1766
01:21:48,572 --> 01:21:49,506
That's really cool, yeah.

1767
01:21:53,239 --> 01:21:54,437
Is that when
she was in the Olympics?

1768
01:21:54,439 --> 01:21:57,039
Yeah. What do you think?
It's pretty awesome right?

1769
01:21:57,406 --> 01:21:58,239
-Yeah.
-Hi, Mom.

1770
01:22:18,239 --> 01:22:19,572
Oh, shit.

1771
01:22:21,072 --> 01:22:22,239
Shit.

1772
01:22:24,406 --> 01:22:26,537
Just like every year.
There he is.

1773
01:22:26,539 --> 01:22:29,570
Oh!

1774
01:22:29,572 --> 01:22:31,870
I thought you guys
didn't make it.

1775
01:22:31,872 --> 01:22:33,404
I was looking at all the--

1776
01:22:33,406 --> 01:22:35,437
-Hey, buddy.
-Hey, hey, hey!

1777
01:22:35,439 --> 01:22:39,103
Somebody actually fell asleep on
my shoulder while I was there.

1778
01:22:39,105 --> 01:22:40,570
-Hey.
-Hey. Can I give you a hand?

1779
01:22:40,572 --> 01:22:42,070
No, man, I got these.
They're light.

1780
01:22:42,072 --> 01:22:43,404
How are you?

1781
01:22:43,406 --> 01:22:44,838
-I'm good. How are you doing?
-Great.

1782
01:22:46,506 --> 01:22:48,903
-You like my 'stache?
-Yeah. What's with the look?

1783
01:22:48,905 --> 01:22:50,504
The look? I've got a...

1784
01:22:50,506 --> 01:22:53,437
I got a fourth callback
of a ranch hand

1785
01:22:53,439 --> 01:22:55,103
in a western TV series.

1786
01:22:55,105 --> 01:22:56,370
-What? No!
-Good.

1787
01:22:56,372 --> 01:22:57,604
-Yeah.
-It's a strong 'stache.

1788
01:22:57,606 --> 01:22:59,604
-Yeah, yeah. I'm just grateful.
-Nice.

1789
01:22:59,606 --> 01:23:01,003
-Here.
-Thanks, man.

1790
01:23:01,005 --> 01:23:02,005
Shotgun!

1791
01:23:04,305 --> 01:23:05,836
Yeah, I know where it is.

1792
01:23:05,838 --> 01:23:08,003
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Jesus. Wow.

1793
01:23:08,005 --> 01:23:09,404
I'm just excited.
What do you want me to say?

1794
01:23:09,406 --> 01:23:10,270
-Yeah, all right.
-Wow, thrilling.

1795
01:23:10,272 --> 01:23:12,205
What do you know?

1796
01:23:12,938 --> 01:23:13,872
Jesus.

1797
01:23:17,439 --> 01:23:18,272
Where's she at?

1798
01:23:19,606 --> 01:23:21,370
Hey!
Welcome to Oyster Bay!

1799
01:23:21,372 --> 01:23:23,139
-Hey!
-Whoo!

1800
01:23:24,539 --> 01:23:25,936
My God.

1801
01:23:25,938 --> 01:23:27,003
I can't believe
it's been a year already.

1802
01:23:27,005 --> 01:23:28,237
-I know.
-Did that Hopkins thing.

1803
01:23:28,239 --> 01:23:29,936
-You've been working hard.
-Learn it 250 times.

1804
01:23:29,938 --> 01:23:31,437
You're in the attic, of course.

1805
01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:32,936
-Great.
-I'm so happy to be back here.

1806
01:23:32,938 --> 01:23:34,903
Geoffrey, Stephen,
you guys are in the primary.

1807
01:23:34,905 --> 01:23:36,437
Game night tonight still?

1808
01:23:36,439 --> 01:23:37,903
-Are we still doing that?
-Yeah.

1809
01:23:37,905 --> 01:23:39,370
-For sure.
-What are we playing?

1810
01:23:39,372 --> 01:23:41,003
Alex, you want
something to drink?

1811
01:23:41,005 --> 01:23:42,472
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Same thing we play every year.

1812
01:23:43,105 --> 01:23:45,037
-Why don't we play...
-Same thing we...

1813
01:23:45,039 --> 01:23:46,203
Why don't we do Bananagrams?

1814
01:23:46,205 --> 01:23:47,370
-I got all the--
-What?

1815
01:23:47,372 --> 01:23:48,404
-What did you say?
-Are you unhappy wi--

1816
01:23:48,406 --> 01:23:50,239
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We know what game we're playing.

1817
01:23:52,005 --> 01:23:53,237
I'm just saying, why
don't we start with Bananagrams?

1818
01:23:53,239 --> 01:23:54,437
No!

1819
01:23:54,439 --> 01:23:55,836
Why would we change it?

1820
01:23:55,838 --> 01:23:56,936
What are you talking about?

1821
01:23:56,938 --> 01:23:58,337
It's the best game in the--
It's why we come here.

1822
01:23:58,339 --> 01:23:59,304
Okay.

1823
01:23:59,306 --> 01:24:00,406
Hey, hey, hey...

1824
01:24:11,039 --> 01:24:12,572
Hey guys, wait,
don't start without me.

1825
01:24:17,172 --> 01:24:18,836
Come on, y'all.

1826
01:24:18,838 --> 01:24:20,470
None of this fighting shit.
Come on.

1827
01:24:20,472 --> 01:24:22,370
Fun weekend. Let's go.
Come on, honey.

1828
01:24:22,372 --> 01:24:23,570
-Yeah.
-Okay.

1829
01:24:23,572 --> 01:24:25,170
-Remember what I said.
-I know.

1830
01:24:25,172 --> 01:24:26,870
-Jesus.
-Did they start without us?

1831
01:24:26,872 --> 01:24:28,537
-No. I told them not to.
-Okay.

1832
01:24:28,539 --> 01:24:30,170
-Yeah, so, it's our time to ask.
-All right.

1833
01:24:30,172 --> 01:24:31,238
Obviously I meant...

1834
01:24:31,240 --> 01:24:32,404
Are you sure? Okay.

1835
01:24:32,406 --> 01:24:33,936
Look, I have four left.

1836
01:24:33,938 --> 01:24:35,238
Well, you think.

1837
01:24:35,240 --> 01:24:36,472
Wait, wait.
I can't see. I can't see.

1838
01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:39,304
I-- Ho--
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1839
01:24:39,306 --> 01:24:41,271
Mm-mmm.
-Hold on.

1840
01:24:41,273 --> 01:24:42,537
God, I'd love to know
what this process is.

1841
01:24:42,539 --> 01:24:45,271
Second floor-- I know! Gosh!

1842
01:24:45,273 --> 01:24:47,370
I know. What?

1843
01:24:47,372 --> 01:24:49,903
-Does this person--
-Guys, we gotta get serious now.

1844
01:24:49,905 --> 01:24:52,003
Does your person hold on
to library books

1845
01:24:52,005 --> 01:24:53,037
past their due date?

1846
01:24:53,039 --> 01:24:54,404
Yes!

1847
01:24:54,406 --> 01:24:56,103
-That's a good one!
-Yes, yes.

1848
01:24:56,105 --> 01:24:57,170
-No, no, no. No.
-No. That's a librarian.

1849
01:24:57,172 --> 01:24:58,304
-Yeah.
-Keep her up.

1850
01:24:58,306 --> 01:24:59,238
-No.
-You know, every year,

1851
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:00,836
-this does not end well.
-No.

1852
01:25:00,838 --> 01:25:02,370
-No. Does not keep it past the--
-These two.

1853
01:25:02,372 --> 01:25:03,537
This person does not.

1854
01:25:03,539 --> 01:25:05,037
No. It's this person does.

1855
01:25:05,039 --> 01:25:06,170
It's this person,
it's this person.

1856
01:25:06,172 --> 01:25:07,103
Okay, we're ready to
make a guess.

1857
01:25:07,105 --> 01:25:08,204
Okay. Is your person...

1858
01:25:08,206 --> 01:25:09,105
-...Joan?
-Joan.

1859
01:25:09,306 --> 01:25:12,003
Joan! Oh my God!

1860
01:25:12,005 --> 01:25:14,070
Yes! Yeah!

1861
01:25:14,072 --> 01:25:16,037
How good was that!

1862
01:25:16,039 --> 01:25:17,206
How good was that!

1863
01:25:20,139 --> 01:25:20,972
Hey.

1864
01:25:23,206 --> 01:25:24,439
-Hey, man.
-What are you doing?

1865
01:25:26,273 --> 01:25:27,805
Just having a smoke.

1866
01:25:30,306 --> 01:25:32,072
-Sit with you?
-Yeah.

1867
01:25:35,139 --> 01:25:36,240
Starting to rain.

1868
01:25:43,039 --> 01:25:44,304
Not gonna ask me
what I was doing

1869
01:25:44,306 --> 01:25:45,970
coming out
of the fucking darkness?

1870
01:25:45,972 --> 01:25:48,539
Sorry, man. What were you doing?

1871
01:25:52,872 --> 01:25:54,372
I just want to say...

1872
01:25:55,838 --> 01:25:57,139
I gotta hand it to you.

1873
01:25:58,606 --> 01:26:01,039
-You do?
-Yeah. You look happy.

1874
01:26:03,339 --> 01:26:06,572
Happier than
you've been in a... long time.

1875
01:26:09,372 --> 01:26:10,472
Okay.

1876
01:26:11,339 --> 01:26:13,140
If anything,
you're an inspiration.

1877
01:26:14,072 --> 01:26:16,037
I mean, you're proof positive
that it's never too late

1878
01:26:16,039 --> 01:26:18,273
for a man of a certain age to
turn his life around, you know?

1879
01:26:19,140 --> 01:26:20,206
Make a fresh start.

1880
01:26:20,905 --> 01:26:23,339
Find out who you really are.

1881
01:26:25,372 --> 01:26:26,404
Thank you, man.

1882
01:26:26,406 --> 01:26:28,070
Right.

1883
01:26:28,072 --> 01:26:30,404
Which is why I'm gonna
ask Christine for a divorce.

1884
01:26:30,406 --> 01:26:31,504
What?

1885
01:26:31,506 --> 01:26:32,539
Yeah.

1886
01:26:33,072 --> 01:26:34,406
No. I hear ya.

1887
01:26:35,206 --> 01:26:37,005
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna take control.

1888
01:26:37,838 --> 01:26:39,506
No, what are you
talking about, man?

1889
01:26:39,872 --> 01:26:41,204
I just told you.
You inspired me.

1890
01:26:41,206 --> 01:26:42,604
No, no, no.
I didn't inspire you...

1891
01:26:42,606 --> 01:26:43,972
Yeah. You did.

1892
01:26:47,240 --> 01:26:48,970
I've been unhappy
for such a long time.

1893
01:26:48,972 --> 01:26:50,604
I was just too chicken-shit
to ever do anything about it.

1894
01:26:50,606 --> 01:26:52,104
No. Don't do this, man.

1895
01:26:52,106 --> 01:26:52,972
-Don't do it.
-Why not?

1896
01:26:53,938 --> 01:26:55,171
Our son's going to college.

1897
01:26:55,173 --> 01:26:58,106
If I get this job,
it shoots in Texas.

1898
01:26:59,039 --> 01:27:01,003
I've never auditioned
for anything outside the city

1899
01:27:01,005 --> 01:27:02,570
'cause I never wanted
to be away from Jay.

1900
01:27:02,572 --> 01:27:03,872
That's over.

1901
01:27:05,372 --> 01:27:07,005
I want to be happy.

1902
01:27:07,339 --> 01:27:09,171
Okay, that's fine.
But that doesn't mean that you--

1903
01:27:09,173 --> 01:27:11,539
-Don't you want me to be happy?
-No, of course I do, man.

1904
01:27:11,972 --> 01:27:13,306
Look...

1905
01:27:15,306 --> 01:27:17,005
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't.

1906
01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:26,905
'Stache feels right. Feels good.

1907
01:27:33,339 --> 01:27:36,439
-Sorry. Kinda small, right?
-Hmm.

1908
01:27:40,506 --> 01:27:41,972
You need more blankets?

1909
01:27:42,372 --> 01:27:43,836
-No. I think I'm--
-Are you sure?

1910
01:27:43,838 --> 01:27:45,204
This one's kinda old.

1911
01:27:45,206 --> 01:27:47,204
No, they seem,
they seem okay. That's--

1912
01:27:47,206 --> 01:27:48,470
-Okay. Any more pillows?
-I'm good.

1913
01:27:48,472 --> 01:27:49,838
Anything?

1914
01:27:50,106 --> 01:27:51,570
No, this is great. Thank you.

1915
01:27:51,572 --> 01:27:54,073
Sorry. I know it's not
the biggest couch in the world.

1916
01:27:54,872 --> 01:27:56,339
It's gonna be fine. Thank you.

1917
01:27:57,406 --> 01:27:58,572
You want to know my secret?

1918
01:28:01,439 --> 01:28:02,372
Do I?

1919
01:28:02,838 --> 01:28:03,506
Yeah.

1920
01:28:05,106 --> 01:28:07,173
The real reason I despise you.

1921
01:28:09,472 --> 01:28:10,306
Yeah, I guess.

1922
01:28:13,040 --> 01:28:14,805
It's because you remind me
of myself.

1923
01:28:16,872 --> 01:28:18,439
Surprise.

1924
01:28:19,938 --> 01:28:22,537
And watching you
wither away all these years

1925
01:28:22,539 --> 01:28:25,970
just keeps reminding me
of how hot you used to be.

1926
01:28:25,972 --> 01:28:27,537
How funny you were.

1927
01:28:27,539 --> 01:28:28,938
Just, magnetic.

1928
01:28:31,838 --> 01:28:33,470
I was even attracted to you
back in the day.

1929
01:28:33,472 --> 01:28:35,439
And I'm not hitting on you,
I'm just making a point.

1930
01:28:37,206 --> 01:28:39,204
Watching you disappear
in front of my eyes

1931
01:28:39,206 --> 01:28:43,306
has just been
this fucking reminder to me.

1932
01:28:45,306 --> 01:28:46,905
That marriage
doesn't fucking work.

1933
01:28:48,938 --> 01:28:50,372
I mean, it didn't work
for my parents.

1934
01:28:51,539 --> 01:28:54,104
I literally watched it
kill them.

1935
01:28:54,106 --> 01:28:55,437
And then it killed you.

1936
01:28:55,439 --> 01:28:57,805
And now it's doing
the same thing to me.

1937
01:29:00,106 --> 01:29:03,836
And I wake up every day,

1938
01:29:03,838 --> 01:29:07,040
and the first thing I feel
is anger.

1939
01:29:08,838 --> 01:29:11,106
I'm just fucking angry
all the time.

1940
01:29:12,539 --> 01:29:14,537
So, yes, when I see you,
I see me.

1941
01:29:14,539 --> 01:29:16,472
And I just fucking lash out,
you know?

1942
01:29:19,306 --> 01:29:21,040
I'll deny
we ever had this conversation.

1943
01:29:22,439 --> 01:29:23,306
Okay.

1944
01:29:25,306 --> 01:29:26,870
But I'm glad we talked.

1945
01:29:26,872 --> 01:29:28,273
It's like we needed it, maybe?

1946
01:29:30,206 --> 01:29:31,539
Yeah. Get some sleep.

1947
01:30:18,006 --> 01:30:22,504
<i>♪ Amazing grace ♪</i>

1948
01:30:22,506 --> 01:30:23,973
Morning.

1949
01:30:25,073 --> 01:30:29,206
<i>♪ How sweet the sound ♪</i>

1950
01:30:31,439 --> 01:30:36,973
<i>♪ That saved a wretch ♪</i>

1951
01:30:37,306 --> 01:30:41,838
<i>♪ Like me ♪</i>

1952
01:30:42,372 --> 01:30:48,073
<i>♪ I once was lost ♪</i>

1953
01:30:48,539 --> 01:30:54,238
<i>♪ But now am found ♪</i>

1954
01:30:54,240 --> 01:30:56,971
<i>♪ Was blind ♪</i>

1955
01:30:56,973 --> 01:31:02,836
<i>♪ But now I see ♪</i>

1956
01:31:02,838 --> 01:31:05,570
Ooh.

1957
01:31:05,572 --> 01:31:11,238
<i>♪ Amazing grace ♪</i>

1958
01:31:11,240 --> 01:31:16,572
<i>♪ How sweet the sound ♪</i>

1959
01:31:17,173 --> 01:31:22,604
<i>♪ That saved a wretch ♪</i>

1960
01:31:22,606 --> 01:31:27,006
<i>♪ Like me ♪</i>

1961
01:31:28,906 --> 01:31:29,937
How'd you sleep?

1962
01:31:29,939 --> 01:31:31,372
-Amazing.
-Yeah?

1963
01:31:33,040 --> 01:31:34,971
-Really good.
-Did you?

1964
01:31:34,973 --> 01:31:36,839
-The couch is good.
-Is it?

1965
01:31:38,939 --> 01:31:40,337
I got it.

1966
01:31:40,339 --> 01:31:45,606
<i>♪ Was blind, but now... ♪</i>

1967
01:31:47,106 --> 01:31:48,240
-Yeah.
-You know?

1968
01:31:49,206 --> 01:31:53,040
I know it's been
a difficult time for... some.

1969
01:31:53,539 --> 01:31:55,006
A lot of change.

1970
01:31:55,939 --> 01:31:57,439
But that's okay.

1971
01:31:58,073 --> 01:32:01,240
Um... You know, I read a line
in a book once.

1972
01:32:02,006 --> 01:32:03,537
I don't remember
exactly how it goes,

1973
01:32:03,539 --> 01:32:05,038
but it was something like,

1974
01:32:05,040 --> 01:32:08,406
"People change.
But love always stays the same."

1975
01:32:09,973 --> 01:32:11,106
Anybody?

1976
01:32:12,306 --> 01:32:15,604
Mmm. Yeah, I don't see how
that relates exactly, but okay.

1977
01:32:15,606 --> 01:32:17,937
-No. I loved it. I loved it.
-It's really nice.

1978
01:32:17,939 --> 01:32:18,937
-I think it's nice.
-Actually,

1979
01:32:18,939 --> 01:32:20,372
since you brought it up.

1980
01:32:20,973 --> 01:32:23,470
I have my own toast
that I would like to make

1981
01:32:23,472 --> 01:32:24,937
to a very special
friend of mine.

1982
01:32:24,939 --> 01:32:25,937
Oh, thank you.

1983
01:32:25,939 --> 01:32:27,238
-Her name is Tess.
-Oh.

1984
01:32:27,240 --> 01:32:28,904
Um, as you all know,

1985
01:32:28,906 --> 01:32:30,904
she recently returned
to her life's passion.

1986
01:32:30,906 --> 01:32:32,171
Mmm. Okay.

1987
01:32:32,173 --> 01:32:33,537
And even though
she's only been at it

1988
01:32:33,539 --> 01:32:35,238
for a short period of time...

1989
01:32:35,240 --> 01:32:36,404
What, like a few months?

1990
01:32:36,406 --> 01:32:37,439
Yeah, but--

1991
01:32:37,973 --> 01:32:40,071
No, this is amazing.

1992
01:32:40,073 --> 01:32:43,537
She has already been asked
to be the assistant coach

1993
01:32:43,539 --> 01:32:46,171
for the US Women's Team,

1994
01:32:46,173 --> 01:32:48,171
-LA '28!
-What?

1995
01:32:48,173 --> 01:32:50,204
-What? Oh my God!
-No decisions, guys.

1996
01:32:50,206 --> 01:32:51,271
No. It's just...

1997
01:32:51,273 --> 01:32:52,537
-You! Get up here!
-No.

1998
01:32:52,539 --> 01:32:54,337
-Yes, please.
-Come here. Oh, my God.

1999
01:32:54,339 --> 01:32:55,372
That is so...

2000
01:32:58,073 --> 01:33:01,470
Okay. So, it was not supposed to
go down like that.

2001
01:33:01,472 --> 01:33:02,238
Don't worry about it.
It's totally fine.

2002
01:33:02,240 --> 01:33:03,537
I'm really sorry
she announced it.

2003
01:33:03,539 --> 01:33:05,038
She happened to be
at the house.

2004
01:33:05,040 --> 01:33:06,138
It's okay. It's great.

2005
01:33:06,140 --> 01:33:07,304
It's great news!

2006
01:33:07,306 --> 01:33:08,271
It's just such a big deal
to tell you.

2007
01:33:08,273 --> 01:33:09,837
-I know.
-But it is a big deal.

2008
01:33:09,839 --> 01:33:11,038
-It's big-- a huge deal.
-Right? That they asked me.

2009
01:33:11,040 --> 01:33:12,337
That's so-- You deserve it, too.

2010
01:33:12,339 --> 01:33:14,171
But I have no idea
if I want to do it.

2011
01:33:14,173 --> 01:33:15,904
-You should.
-It would be a lot.

2012
01:33:15,906 --> 01:33:18,871
It would be a lot. You know.

2013
01:33:18,873 --> 01:33:20,370
And the boys. And...

2014
01:33:20,372 --> 01:33:22,171
-Actually, you know what?
-I don't know how I feel.

2015
01:33:22,173 --> 01:33:23,570
I don't even know
what it would be like,

2016
01:33:23,572 --> 01:33:25,273
-or what the commitment is.
-Look at, look at this.

2017
01:33:26,472 --> 01:33:28,104
-What?
-Something funny I just--

2018
01:33:28,106 --> 01:33:29,240
Look at that.

2019
01:33:29,906 --> 01:33:31,604
-That's you.
-Wait. Where is this?

2020
01:33:31,606 --> 01:33:33,837
That's--
I found that photo of you

2021
01:33:33,839 --> 01:33:36,404
and I blew it up and I put it
on the wall of my apartment.

2022
01:33:36,406 --> 01:33:37,570
'Cause I wanted the boys to see

2023
01:33:37,572 --> 01:33:38,839
what a fucking legend
their mom is.

2024
01:33:41,106 --> 01:33:44,806
Why didn't you pick a photo of
me with the kids for your wall?

2025
01:33:45,273 --> 01:33:49,204
No, because I got a photo of you
at the height of your power.

2026
01:33:49,206 --> 01:33:51,238
Look at you.
Look how high you are.

2027
01:33:51,240 --> 01:33:53,038
That is sick!
I mean, are you kidding?

2028
01:33:53,040 --> 01:33:56,204
Just be like... Smash! You know?

2029
01:33:56,206 --> 01:33:59,038
Like, that's unbelievable.
It's their favorite thing.

2030
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:01,506
I love it, too. I think--
That photo is awesome.

2031
01:34:03,173 --> 01:34:04,306
It's not me now.

2032
01:34:08,206 --> 01:34:09,140
Yeah, it is.

2033
01:34:11,873 --> 01:34:12,939
No, it isn't.

2034
01:34:14,106 --> 01:34:14,973
Here.

2035
01:34:19,040 --> 01:34:21,004
Do you have to sleep till like
two fucking thirty every day?

2036
01:34:21,006 --> 01:34:22,238
Why? Did people wake up already?

2037
01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:23,306
Oh, my God.

2038
01:34:24,006 --> 01:34:25,873
What are we looking at? Oh!

2039
01:34:26,973 --> 01:34:27,971
I'm not sure
what's happening right now.

2040
01:34:27,973 --> 01:34:28,939
I'm upset.

2041
01:34:29,939 --> 01:34:31,006
That's what's happening.

2042
01:34:31,372 --> 01:34:32,273
Okay.

2043
01:34:34,140 --> 01:34:36,240
You can upset me,
and I can upset you.

2044
01:34:37,106 --> 01:34:38,173
Right?

2045
01:34:38,906 --> 01:34:40,539
It's what happens
in a relationship.

2046
01:34:41,406 --> 01:34:44,339
I never said that we
couldn't get upset.

2047
01:34:47,073 --> 01:34:48,973
I know you were trying
to do a nice thing.

2048
01:34:53,306 --> 01:34:56,339
It hurt my feelings.
Let's go in.

2049
01:34:58,539 --> 01:35:01,271
Are you... Do you still want me
to come to the attic tonight?

2050
01:35:01,273 --> 01:35:03,406
What?

2051
01:35:05,273 --> 01:35:06,171
What about this?

2052
01:35:06,173 --> 01:35:07,306
That's fine.

2053
01:35:08,106 --> 01:35:09,339
-Space?
-Okay. Jesus.

2054
01:35:12,572 --> 01:35:13,939
I'm starving.

2055
01:35:14,939 --> 01:35:16,904
Well, why don't you use a spoon
like a person?

2056
01:35:16,906 --> 01:35:19,140
Oh. Well, I don't want to dirty
any more dishes.

2057
01:35:19,506 --> 01:35:21,437
Well, we can wash them
in the morning.

2058
01:35:21,439 --> 01:35:22,806
Oh, okay.

2059
01:35:24,372 --> 01:35:26,006
It's so good with my fingers.

2060
01:35:29,240 --> 01:35:30,971
Shouldn't have done
that one thing, you know?

2061
01:35:30,973 --> 01:35:32,472
Jesus Christ.

2062
01:35:54,472 --> 01:35:57,171
House is busy tonight.

2063
01:35:57,173 --> 01:35:58,873
Anybody see you come up?

2064
01:35:59,173 --> 01:36:01,138
No, everybody was
kind of in their own world.

2065
01:36:01,140 --> 01:36:04,370
I was watching this video of
a therapist talking to couples,

2066
01:36:04,372 --> 01:36:08,071
and had them,
as a healthy exercise,

2067
01:36:08,073 --> 01:36:10,006
ask each other what they
don't like about each other.

2068
01:36:12,306 --> 01:36:14,372
That you slept with somebody,
for starters.

2069
01:36:15,040 --> 01:36:16,837
Well, I only did
because I thought you were

2070
01:36:16,839 --> 01:36:17,472
and I was jealous.

2071
01:36:19,106 --> 01:36:21,271
How you never respond
to photos I send you.

2072
01:36:21,273 --> 01:36:23,004
Photos you always ask for.

2073
01:36:23,006 --> 01:36:25,171
I always send a thumbs-up
or a heart emoji or something.

2074
01:36:25,173 --> 01:36:26,937
I'm sitting there,
rushing around,

2075
01:36:26,939 --> 01:36:30,339
trying to get some perfect angle
of a photo for them.

2076
01:36:30,939 --> 01:36:32,904
Just so that... You know,

2077
01:36:32,906 --> 01:36:34,404
I just felt like a psycho.

2078
01:36:34,406 --> 01:36:36,971
Feel like an idiot,
knowing you could care less.

2079
01:36:36,973 --> 01:36:38,372
I love getting those photos.
That's not true.

2080
01:36:40,040 --> 01:36:41,906
How quiet you got at home.

2081
01:36:43,939 --> 01:36:45,337
As if you were
a different person

2082
01:36:45,339 --> 01:36:46,605
than you are
with everybody else.

2083
01:36:46,607 --> 01:36:48,304
That drove me crazy.

2084
01:36:48,306 --> 01:36:51,071
Well... no, first...

2085
01:36:51,073 --> 01:36:52,971
Jeez, you're good at this game.

2086
01:36:52,973 --> 01:36:54,540
First that confused me.

2087
01:36:55,173 --> 01:36:57,372
Then made me sad,
then drove me crazy.

2088
01:37:00,240 --> 01:37:02,806
As if we clearly weren't
interesting enough for you.

2089
01:37:03,540 --> 01:37:05,273
I wasn't.

2090
01:37:07,339 --> 01:37:08,939
It was like
you weren't even there.

2091
01:37:10,540 --> 01:37:11,973
I wasn't there?

2092
01:37:12,906 --> 01:37:15,104
-You checked out.
-Me?

2093
01:37:15,106 --> 01:37:16,571
Just like you would
after a loss.

2094
01:37:16,573 --> 01:37:18,004
Except for
I wouldn't know the cause,

2095
01:37:18,006 --> 01:37:19,439
and so I'm just like, alone.

2096
01:37:21,273 --> 01:37:23,607
Well, good thing
we aren't together.

2097
01:37:27,439 --> 01:37:28,806
Aren't we?

2098
01:37:29,806 --> 01:37:33,073
Well, I don't think us hiding is
us back together.

2099
01:37:33,507 --> 01:37:35,573
Well, what do you care
what anyone thinks, anyway?

2100
01:37:37,372 --> 01:37:38,906
Maybe I'm embarrassed.

2101
01:37:39,839 --> 01:37:40,939
By what?

2102
01:37:43,006 --> 01:37:44,406
-Me.
-Why?

2103
01:37:47,372 --> 01:37:49,273
'Cause I don't know
if you even love me.

2104
01:37:53,406 --> 01:37:56,173
You love some idea of me,
hanging on your wall.

2105
01:37:57,906 --> 01:37:59,904
But not the woman
you're looking at right now,

2106
01:37:59,906 --> 01:38:01,304
-in front of you
-Don't tell me

2107
01:38:01,306 --> 01:38:02,471
-in this moment.
-how I feel and think.

2108
01:38:02,473 --> 01:38:03,573
That's not--

2109
01:38:05,473 --> 01:38:07,971
I mean, maybe I don't love you.
I don't know.

2110
01:38:07,973 --> 01:38:10,104
Maybe I fucked you
because you fucked that woman,

2111
01:38:10,106 --> 01:38:12,038
or 'cause it felt good
to hear you say

2112
01:38:12,040 --> 01:38:13,370
you missed me
in front of strangers,

2113
01:38:13,372 --> 01:38:15,138
-which is... embarrassing.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

2114
01:38:15,140 --> 01:38:17,238
It was a stupid fucking thing
I did, and I hate myself for it.

2115
01:38:17,240 --> 01:38:21,038
Why? We had no responsibility
to each other.

2116
01:38:21,040 --> 01:38:22,937
Even now,
there's no real commitment.

2117
01:38:22,939 --> 01:38:24,571
-Of course there is.
-To what?

2118
01:38:24,573 --> 01:38:26,505
To making each other happy.

2119
01:38:26,507 --> 01:38:28,238
Because we're doing things
that make us happy

2120
01:38:28,240 --> 01:38:29,571
as individuals now.

2121
01:38:29,573 --> 01:38:31,571
And if we're happy, that's it.

2122
01:38:31,573 --> 01:38:34,238
Then we make
the people we love happy too.

2123
01:38:34,240 --> 01:38:36,140
That's it?
What are you, eight years old?

2124
01:38:37,006 --> 01:38:39,204
A real relationship

2125
01:38:39,206 --> 01:38:42,271
is finding somebody
you can also be unhappy with.

2126
01:38:42,273 --> 01:38:43,507
Somebody who has your back.

2127
01:38:45,073 --> 01:38:47,372
We stopped
having each other's backs.

2128
01:38:47,573 --> 01:38:50,206
I always tried to have
your back. Are you kidding me?

2129
01:38:50,939 --> 01:38:52,337
There just wasn't enough room

2130
01:38:52,339 --> 01:38:53,605
because had to
have your own back.

2131
01:38:53,607 --> 01:38:55,871
There wasn't any room left
on your back.

2132
01:38:55,873 --> 01:38:58,271
Trust me, I heard.
"Alex, he loves it so much.

2133
01:38:58,273 --> 01:38:59,571
He's always there for you.

2134
01:38:59,573 --> 01:39:01,605
He goes to everything.
He loves it."

2135
01:39:01,607 --> 01:39:04,440
-I did.
-Yeah? And when I retired?

2136
01:39:07,607 --> 01:39:11,071
When I let go of the thing
I loved since I was 11?

2137
01:39:11,073 --> 01:39:12,140
You shut off.

2138
01:39:14,240 --> 01:39:15,971
You said you felt alone?

2139
01:39:15,973 --> 01:39:18,806
Baby, you left me alone
years ago in this relationship.

2140
01:39:23,473 --> 01:39:25,006
Okay, you want to
know the truth?

2141
01:39:25,507 --> 01:39:26,573
Yes.

2142
01:39:27,006 --> 01:39:28,140
I wasn't the downer.

2143
01:39:29,839 --> 01:39:30,806
You were.

2144
01:39:37,273 --> 01:39:40,473
You're right. I was a downer.

2145
01:39:43,373 --> 01:39:46,140
After years of dedicating myself
to a thing,

2146
01:39:46,906 --> 01:39:48,006
I thought I could just stop.

2147
01:39:50,206 --> 01:39:53,407
And have my own children,
and you be the replacement.

2148
01:39:57,340 --> 01:39:58,540
I did.

2149
01:40:01,440 --> 01:40:02,438
Never acknowledging

2150
01:40:02,440 --> 01:40:05,305
that it was the end
of this whole other life,

2151
01:40:05,307 --> 01:40:07,540
or where I was gonna
put all those feelings.

2152
01:40:07,973 --> 01:40:10,371
And then I was doing
six years of in vitro,

2153
01:40:10,373 --> 01:40:12,471
and injecting myself
full of all those chemicals,

2154
01:40:12,473 --> 01:40:14,271
whatever that was doing.

2155
01:40:14,273 --> 01:40:16,507
And by the way,
and I love that challenge.

2156
01:40:18,307 --> 01:40:23,338
But I was having trouble
with you and them

2157
01:40:23,340 --> 01:40:26,973
being the only thing
fulfilling me.

2158
01:40:30,173 --> 01:40:32,873
And you knew I was struggling.

2159
01:40:34,440 --> 01:40:36,540
But that I was too proud
to ever ask for help.

2160
01:40:38,307 --> 01:40:39,873
You hid behind that.

2161
01:40:41,839 --> 01:40:43,571
And I felt relieved.

2162
01:40:43,573 --> 01:40:45,405
That you never asked.

2163
01:40:45,407 --> 01:40:48,173
Because then
I could avoid it too.

2164
01:40:48,473 --> 01:40:49,971
I couldn't ask you that.

2165
01:40:49,973 --> 01:40:51,837
-Of course you could.
-No!

2166
01:40:51,839 --> 01:40:53,040
-Of course you could.
-Baby, baby...

2167
01:40:54,373 --> 01:40:55,837
You left me alone.

2168
01:40:55,839 --> 01:40:57,305
I left you alone?

2169
01:40:57,307 --> 01:40:59,138
You checked out.

2170
01:40:59,140 --> 01:41:00,871
You think
that was fun to be around?

2171
01:41:00,873 --> 01:41:03,438
I don't want to go back to that.
I won't!

2172
01:41:03,440 --> 01:41:05,272
-So what are you saying then?
-What I'm s--

2173
01:41:05,274 --> 01:41:07,038
Fuck! Oh, fucking stupid--

2174
01:41:07,040 --> 01:41:08,171
What the fuck?

2175
01:41:08,173 --> 01:41:10,038
Jesus fucking Christ,
Christine!

2176
01:41:10,040 --> 01:41:12,405
Why don't you mind your own
fucking business for once?

2177
01:41:12,407 --> 01:41:13,904
Whoa.

2178
01:41:13,906 --> 01:41:15,440
Maybe take care
of your own shit first.

2179
01:41:15,939 --> 01:41:17,071
What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?

2180
01:41:17,073 --> 01:41:18,906
<i>...comedy,</i>
<i>make some noise right now!</i>

2181
01:41:19,407 --> 01:41:22,939
For my main man, the one
and only, Alex Novak everybody!

2182
01:41:50,540 --> 01:41:52,173
Fucking relationships suck.

2183
01:41:55,407 --> 01:41:57,171
And I don't mean that they--
they're like a downer.

2184
01:41:57,173 --> 01:41:58,839
I mean, they fucking suck.

2185
01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:02,904
I don't think you're fucking
hearing what I'm trying to say.

2186
01:42:02,906 --> 01:42:05,004
I'm telling you
that relationships suck.

2187
01:42:05,006 --> 01:42:07,605
Like, if you are in
a relationship with somebody,

2188
01:42:07,607 --> 01:42:09,104
they are literally
trying to suck

2189
01:42:09,106 --> 01:42:10,274
the fucking life out of you.

2190
01:42:12,274 --> 01:42:14,307
Okay? They're fucking vampires.

2191
01:42:17,973 --> 01:42:20,205
And the moment that
you're happy, fucking look out.

2192
01:42:20,207 --> 01:42:22,138
The moment that
you are fucking happy,

2193
01:42:22,140 --> 01:42:25,871
they see that as pure,
unfiltered fucking blood,

2194
01:42:25,873 --> 01:42:28,038
and they will suck it
right out of your fucking body

2195
01:42:28,040 --> 01:42:30,605
until you are gaunt
and fucking drained.

2196
01:42:30,607 --> 01:42:33,272
And they will take
every fucking morsel of it out.

2197
01:42:33,274 --> 01:42:36,873
Because you know why? Because
happiness is the sun to them.

2198
01:42:37,507 --> 01:42:40,305
Okay? Happiness is like a stake
to the fucking heart.

2199
01:42:40,307 --> 01:42:41,571
They don't want it.

2200
01:42:41,573 --> 01:42:43,839
They don't want you
to be fucking happy.

2201
01:42:45,040 --> 01:42:46,505
And there are only two ways out

2202
01:42:46,507 --> 01:42:50,205
of this fucking
bleak, miserable existence.

2203
01:42:50,207 --> 01:42:53,106
You either become one of them
or you fucking die.

2204
01:42:55,006 --> 01:42:56,141
Well, I don't want it.

2205
01:42:57,507 --> 01:43:00,939
I don't wanna be
a fucking vampire. Okay?

2206
01:43:03,274 --> 01:43:05,373
I don't want it.

2207
01:43:23,906 --> 01:43:25,040
Dad.

2208
01:43:25,906 --> 01:43:26,904
What the fuck
are you doing here?

2209
01:43:26,906 --> 01:43:28,006
Son, uh...

2210
01:43:28,973 --> 01:43:31,904
Well, I just came down
to see what the fuss is.

2211
01:43:31,906 --> 01:43:33,305
Jesus...

2212
01:43:33,307 --> 01:43:36,573
You... really yelled
at those guys.

2213
01:43:39,207 --> 01:43:42,038
Yeah, sorry, I don't really know
what that all was.

2214
01:43:42,040 --> 01:43:47,107
Yeah, well, I wouldn't say
it was funny, but it was, uh...

2215
01:43:48,340 --> 01:43:49,507
...a bit dangerous.

2216
01:43:51,973 --> 01:43:52,937
-Dad, look--
-Son.

2217
01:43:52,939 --> 01:43:53,873
-No, Dad, listen--
-Son.

2218
01:43:55,307 --> 01:43:57,939
You're a decent man, Alex.

2219
01:43:59,006 --> 01:44:01,004
And you can give yourself

2220
01:44:01,006 --> 01:44:03,207
the grace to
work through all of this.

2221
01:44:04,074 --> 01:44:05,274
You know?

2222
01:44:06,174 --> 01:44:07,937
Mom.

2223
01:44:07,939 --> 01:44:10,605
Yeah, well, we rub off on
each other. That's a good thing.

2224
01:44:10,607 --> 01:44:14,373
Your mother and I,
we're lucky like that.

2225
01:44:15,307 --> 01:44:16,407
It's rare.

2226
01:44:18,340 --> 01:44:22,241
It's really rare.
You understand?

2227
01:44:29,074 --> 01:44:30,006
Okay.

2228
01:44:31,174 --> 01:44:32,473
It's okay. Come on.

2229
01:44:33,839 --> 01:44:34,806
Come on.

2230
01:44:36,041 --> 01:44:36,973
Hey.

2231
01:44:37,939 --> 01:44:39,141
There you go.

2232
01:44:42,573 --> 01:44:44,505
Now.

2233
01:44:44,507 --> 01:44:46,438
I'm sorry... I'm sorry about...

2234
01:44:46,440 --> 01:44:48,871
You-- You don't have to
be sorry about anything.

2235
01:44:48,873 --> 01:44:52,205
Life happens to us, you know?

2236
01:44:52,207 --> 01:44:54,904
What we have to do is recognize

2237
01:44:54,906 --> 01:44:57,041
where we stand
and what's good about it.

2238
01:44:59,307 --> 01:45:00,274
It's gonna be okay.

2239
01:45:01,241 --> 01:45:03,141
Yeah? You work it through.

2240
01:45:06,007 --> 01:45:08,041
As for this, next time...

2241
01:45:09,873 --> 01:45:11,107
a few more jokes.

2242
01:45:12,007 --> 01:45:13,373
-See you.
-See ya.

2243
01:45:14,440 --> 01:45:16,141
I'll add <i>a</i> joke.

2244
01:46:00,540 --> 01:46:03,571
Hey, man. I got bagels.

2245
01:46:03,573 --> 01:46:05,041
Oh, for fuck's sake.

2246
01:46:06,440 --> 01:46:09,141
So, they didn't say it,
like, outright,

2247
01:46:10,041 --> 01:46:12,305
but my agent did tell me
that production

2248
01:46:12,307 --> 01:46:14,473
called them,
like, several times.

2249
01:46:14,906 --> 01:46:16,338
Maybe they want their hat back.

2250
01:46:16,340 --> 01:46:18,473
Will you just let me dream, bro?

2251
01:46:19,107 --> 01:46:20,473
No, you're probably right.

2252
01:46:21,207 --> 01:46:22,972
Look, man, I think
it's great that you got the job

2253
01:46:22,974 --> 01:46:25,837
and that you had
that experience, but...

2254
01:46:25,839 --> 01:46:27,205
I don't know,
now that you're back in town,

2255
01:46:27,207 --> 01:46:30,005
don't you think maybe
it's time that you face reality?

2256
01:46:30,007 --> 01:46:33,239
I have no delusions. Okay?

2257
01:46:33,241 --> 01:46:37,172
I know they killed my character,
but just think about it.

2258
01:46:37,174 --> 01:46:40,072
What if they bring him back
as a ghost seeking revenge?

2259
01:46:40,074 --> 01:46:41,405
I sketched out
this little storyline

2260
01:46:41,407 --> 01:46:42,905
I'm gonna send to production.

2261
01:46:42,907 --> 01:46:44,940
But I'm definitely gonna
give the hat back first.

2262
01:46:45,607 --> 01:46:47,873
But you never know.
I'm a good writer.

2263
01:46:49,174 --> 01:46:50,440
I was talking about
your marriage.

2264
01:46:51,074 --> 01:46:53,407
Oh.
What about it?

2265
01:46:54,274 --> 01:46:56,571
Well, I mean, just, everything,
you know, with Christine

2266
01:46:56,573 --> 01:46:59,307
and you leaving her
and all that.

2267
01:46:59,573 --> 01:47:01,573
Oh, no, no, no. No, we're good.

2268
01:47:02,607 --> 01:47:04,239
-Really?
-Yeah.

2269
01:47:04,241 --> 01:47:06,205
Yeah, yeah. We talked it out.

2270
01:47:06,207 --> 01:47:07,272
Yeah.

2271
01:47:07,274 --> 01:47:09,072
She said her piece--

2272
01:47:09,074 --> 01:47:12,072
...which was hard to hear,
was good.

2273
01:47:12,074 --> 01:47:15,007
And then I said mine
and then, yeah. Yeah.

2274
01:47:16,107 --> 01:47:17,837
Oh. Check this out.

2275
01:47:17,839 --> 01:47:20,538
She wants me to go back
more than I do.

2276
01:47:20,540 --> 01:47:22,305
Yeah, she keeps saying,
"You should just write them.

2277
01:47:22,307 --> 01:47:24,107
They need to bring back
your character."

2278
01:47:25,440 --> 01:47:27,373
-Is that crazy?
-Mmm.

2279
01:47:29,174 --> 01:47:30,074
Yeah.

2280
01:47:32,974 --> 01:47:34,340
Hey, man, is there, um...

2281
01:47:37,207 --> 01:47:39,074
Is there a chance that she's...

2282
01:47:40,440 --> 01:47:41,874
I don't know,
that she wants you to...

2283
01:47:43,839 --> 01:47:45,407
I don't know, she wants
to get some time away from you?

2284
01:47:47,573 --> 01:47:48,573
Why?

2285
01:47:48,974 --> 01:47:50,438
You'll be out of town or...

2286
01:47:50,440 --> 01:47:52,174
She came with me to Texas.

2287
01:47:52,874 --> 01:47:53,571
-Really?
-Yeah.

2288
01:47:53,573 --> 01:47:55,005
She did?

2289
01:47:55,007 --> 01:47:56,407
Yeah. She was there
all nine days.

2290
01:47:58,440 --> 01:48:00,007
It was her idea
to steal the hat.

2291
01:48:01,141 --> 01:48:03,239
Yeah, she's like,
thinks I look...

2292
01:48:03,241 --> 01:48:05,074
you know, really handsome.

2293
01:48:06,141 --> 01:48:07,373
Wow, I'm confused.

2294
01:48:08,974 --> 01:48:10,438
Yeah, well, confused is good.

2295
01:48:10,440 --> 01:48:12,274
I'm confused most of the time.

2296
01:48:12,974 --> 01:48:14,307
I just like being confused
with her.

2297
01:48:16,207 --> 01:48:18,039
Who would have thought Jalen...

2298
01:48:18,041 --> 01:48:20,039
I love that guy...

2299
01:48:20,041 --> 01:48:22,107
but going away would
be actually good for us?

2300
01:48:24,207 --> 01:48:25,974
-Hmm.
-What is that behind me?

2301
01:48:28,041 --> 01:48:30,107
-That's a picture of Tess.
-Oh.

2302
01:48:31,207 --> 01:48:32,907
I can't see her face.

2303
01:48:33,440 --> 01:48:35,072
Well, yeah,
the photo's taken from behind.

2304
01:48:35,074 --> 01:48:37,074
Yeah, well, you should just
turn her around.

2305
01:48:37,507 --> 01:48:39,373
Yeah, I don't think--
I don't think they can do that.

2306
01:48:41,440 --> 01:48:42,573
Someday.

2307
01:49:09,407 --> 01:49:11,872
She's competed
every single night

2308
01:49:11,874 --> 01:49:13,305
of her college career.

2309
01:49:13,307 --> 01:49:15,239
She doesn't have as much
international experience,

2310
01:49:15,241 --> 01:49:17,505
but to be able to grind
through the Big Ten season

2311
01:49:17,507 --> 01:49:20,371
and make a big run
in the tournament...

2312
01:49:20,373 --> 01:49:22,005
-She's got what it takes.
-Played for John Cook too.

2313
01:49:22,007 --> 01:49:23,305
-John Cook.
-Exactly.

2314
01:49:23,307 --> 01:49:25,139
Is that Rachel,

2315
01:49:25,141 --> 01:49:27,074
who Arch
was saying came out of UVA?

2316
01:49:35,007 --> 01:49:36,107
-Hi.
-Hey.

2317
01:49:37,074 --> 01:49:38,605
-Uh, is everything--
-Everything's fine, yeah.

2318
01:49:38,607 --> 01:49:40,105
I just dropped the boys off
at school,

2319
01:49:40,107 --> 01:49:41,239
but I wanted to come by here

2320
01:49:41,241 --> 01:49:42,571
before I drove back
to the city--

2321
01:49:42,573 --> 01:49:44,239
I'm just in the middle of it

2322
01:49:44,241 --> 01:49:45,838
-with the coaching staff, so I--
-Okay. Okay, I just want--

2323
01:49:45,840 --> 01:49:47,207
I just wanna show you something
really quick.

2324
01:49:49,174 --> 01:49:51,972
-Look at that.
-What is that, Alex?

2325
01:49:51,974 --> 01:49:54,072
It's you. It's you.
First time you saw the minivan.

2326
01:49:54,074 --> 01:49:55,505
Look how unhappy you are.

2327
01:49:55,507 --> 01:49:56,940
It's my favorite thing.

2328
01:49:58,907 --> 01:49:59,807
I see that.

2329
01:50:01,507 --> 01:50:03,507
I realize that I was the one
who was unhappy.

2330
01:50:06,407 --> 01:50:09,074
I was unhappy in our marriage.

2331
01:50:09,407 --> 01:50:12,174
I wasn't unhappy
with our marriage.

2332
01:50:20,573 --> 01:50:22,207
I wanna be unhappy with you.

2333
01:50:25,974 --> 01:50:27,207
Let's be unhappy together.

2334
01:50:46,874 --> 01:50:49,172
Fuck!

2335
01:50:49,174 --> 01:50:50,274
I'll think about it.

2336
01:51:23,607 --> 01:51:27,272
<i>♪ Pressure</i>
<i>Pushing down on me ♪</i>

2337
01:51:27,274 --> 01:51:30,340
<i>Pressing down on you</i>
<i>No man ask for</i>

2338
01:51:31,373 --> 01:51:33,338
And in that moment,
I stood up and I said,

2339
01:51:33,340 --> 01:51:36,907
"Hey. Your mom
is not going anywhere...

2340
01:51:37,540 --> 01:51:39,573
till she helps me
open this jar."

2341
01:51:47,907 --> 01:51:52,139
<i>♪ That's the terror of knowing</i>
<i>What this world is about ♪</i>

2342
01:51:52,141 --> 01:51:54,872
<i>♪ Watching some good friends</i>
<i>Screaming ♪</i>

2343
01:51:54,874 --> 01:51:56,305
<i>♪ "Let me out!" ♪</i>

2344
01:51:56,307 --> 01:52:00,007
<i>♪ Pray tomorrow takes us higher ♪</i>

2345
01:52:00,540 --> 01:52:04,172
<i>♪ Pressure on people</i>
<i>People on streets ♪</i>

2346
01:52:04,174 --> 01:52:07,074
Mmm.

2347
01:52:10,141 --> 01:52:11,274
<i>♪ Okay ♪</i>

2348
01:52:13,340 --> 01:52:15,471
<i>♪ Chippin' around ♪</i>

2349
01:52:15,473 --> 01:52:17,305
<i>♪ Kick my brains</i>
<i>'Round the floor ♪</i>

2350
01:52:17,307 --> 01:52:21,172
<i>♪ These are the days</i>
<i>It never rains, it just pours ♪</i>

2351
01:52:21,174 --> 01:52:22,974
<i>♪ People on streets ♪</i>

2352
01:52:25,307 --> 01:52:26,473
<i>♪ People on streets ♪</i>

2353
01:52:29,007 --> 01:52:33,305
<i>♪ It's the terror of knowing</i>
<i>What this world is about ♪</i>

2354
01:52:33,307 --> 01:52:35,838
<i>♪ Watching some good friends</i>
<i>Screaming ♪</i>

2355
01:52:35,840 --> 01:52:37,272
<i>♪ "Let me out!" ♪</i>

2356
01:52:37,274 --> 01:52:39,272
<i>♪ Pray tomorrow ♪</i>

2357
01:52:39,274 --> 01:52:41,471
<i>♪ Takes us</i>
<i>Higher, higher, high ♪</i>

2358
01:52:41,473 --> 01:52:45,074
<i>♪ Pressure on people</i>
<i>People on streets ♪</i>

2359
01:52:47,840 --> 01:52:51,174
<i>♪ Turned away from it all</i>
<i>Like a blind man ♪</i>

2360
01:52:52,141 --> 01:52:55,107
<i>♪ Sat on a fence</i>
<i>But it don't work ♪</i>

2361
01:52:55,974 --> 01:52:59,305
<i>♪ Keep coming up with love</i>
<i>But it's so slashed and torn ♪</i>

2362
01:52:59,307 --> 01:53:04,874
<i>♪ Why, why, why ♪</i>

2363
01:53:10,473 --> 01:53:14,338
<i>♪ Love, love, love</i>
<i>Love, love, love, love ♪</i>

2364
01:53:14,340 --> 01:53:18,239
<i>♪ Insanity laughs under pressure</i>
<i>We're cracking ♪</i>

2365
01:53:18,241 --> 01:53:22,105
<i>♪ Can't we give ourselves</i>
<i>One more chance? ♪</i>

2366
01:53:22,107 --> 01:53:26,072
<i>♪ Why can't we give love</i>
<i>That one more chance? ♪</i>

2367
01:53:26,074 --> 01:53:30,005
<i>♪ Why can't we give love</i>
<i>Give love ♪</i>

2368
01:53:30,007 --> 01:53:33,974
<i>♪ Give love, give love,</i>
<i>Give love, give love... ♪</i>

2369
01:53:35,440 --> 01:53:40,272
<i>♪ 'Cause love's</i>
<i>Such an old-fashioned word ♪</i>

2370
01:53:40,274 --> 01:53:44,905
<i>♪ And love dares you</i>
<i>To care for ♪</i>

2371
01:53:44,907 --> 01:53:50,506
<i>♪ The people on</i>
<i>The edge of the night ♪</i>

2372
01:53:50,508 --> 01:53:55,338
<i>♪ And love dares you to change</i>
<i>Our way of ♪</i>

2373
01:53:55,340 --> 01:53:59,905
<i>♪ Caring about ourselves ♪</i>

2374
01:53:59,907 --> 01:54:03,905
<i>♪ This is our last dance ♪</i>

2375
01:54:03,907 --> 01:54:07,972
<i>♪ This is our last dance ♪</i>

2376
01:54:07,974 --> 01:54:09,207
<i>♪ This is ourselves ♪</i>

2377
01:54:12,407 --> 01:54:13,874
<i>♪ Under pressure ♪</i>

2378
01:54:16,174 --> 01:54:17,574
<i>♪ Under pressure ♪</i>

2379
01:54:20,874 --> 01:54:21,873
<i>♪ Pressure ♪</i>