1 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,084 Good day, sir. 2 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,887 I'm a weary traveler. Do you, perchance, 3 00:00:18,987 --> 00:00:20,722 have an extra bed or sofa where I could rest? 4 00:00:20,822 --> 00:00:22,724 Alas, I do not. 5 00:00:22,824 --> 00:00:25,860 But you're welcome to this hard pallet of pine wood. 6 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,565 Not to be discourteous, but I don't think that's pine. 7 00:00:30,665 --> 00:00:31,799 I'm pretty sure it is. 8 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,434 Whatever, I'll take it. 9 00:00:34,536 --> 00:00:36,604 Thank you. 10 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,873 Ooh. I am parched. 11 00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:40,440 Do you have any water? 12 00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,109 Oh, as a matter of fact, I do. 13 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,546 I just fetched some from yonder stream. 14 00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:46,413 Right. 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,082 So, is this the same stream 16 00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,653 I saw villagers using as a commode? 17 00:00:51,753 --> 00:00:52,954 The very same. 18 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,589 But don't worry. 19 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:56,591 The village is many paces upstream, 20 00:00:56,691 --> 00:00:58,960 and as the water tumbles down toward my dwelling, 21 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,963 it cleans itself. That's science. 22 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,598 Works for me. 23 00:01:08,937 --> 00:01:11,573 Hey, what's this I hear about cholera going around? 24 00:01:11,673 --> 00:01:13,808 Alas, it has felled many of my neighbors. 25 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:16,076 If only we could figure out how it spreads, 26 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,144 maybe we could stop it. 27 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,112 If only. 28 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,954 That hits the spot. 29 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,327 Sam, Jay, thanks for hopping on. 30 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,862 No problem, Mayor Tad. 31 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:36,363 -How's the vacation? -Huh? 32 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,131 No, no, not a vacation. 33 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:41,435 A working trip for the people of Ulster County. 34 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,838 This man is deeply corrupt. 35 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,205 Good for him. 36 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,942 Thor miss the salty brine of the ocean. 37 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,679 Can almost smell it from here. 38 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,514 Pretty sure that's just the wolf urine. 39 00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:55,115 I wanted to thank you two again 40 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,316 for helping to get my mayorship back, 41 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,318 and to let you know I have sold 42 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,989 my controlling interest in Woodstone B and B. 43 00:02:01,089 --> 00:02:02,890 -What? -Can he do that? 44 00:02:02,991 --> 00:02:04,358 You sold your stake in our business? 45 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,693 To who? 46 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,160 Ooh, was it someone famous? 47 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,863 "Chateau Chalamet" has a nice ring to it. 48 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,832 Get ahold of yourself, woman. 49 00:02:10,932 --> 00:02:13,200 He's so small, it drives me crazy. 50 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,536 It's a company called Ever Creek Water. 51 00:02:15,637 --> 00:02:16,971 The evil conglomerate 52 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:18,706 that won't pick up our empty water bottles? 53 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,808 Oh, so you know them. Great. Yeah. 54 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,043 They just made me an obscene offer. 55 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,044 Well, what does this mean 56 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,311 for us? 57 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,379 What do they want with Woodstone? 58 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,015 Fair question, so... 59 00:02:27,115 --> 00:02:28,716 I've texted you a number. 60 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,052 They will answer any questions that you have. 61 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,021 Hope it works out. Thanks again 62 00:02:33,121 --> 00:02:36,090 for everything. I said I wanted that flaming. 63 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,357 I gotta go. 64 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,995 Great, so this huge corporation that we hate 65 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:44,032 now owns a majority of our home and business? 66 00:02:44,132 --> 00:02:45,733 Should we call the number? 67 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,167 I guess. 68 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,705 Thank you for calling Ever Creek. 69 00:02:50,805 --> 00:02:53,407 If you're calling about new service, press one. 70 00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:55,743 If you're an existing customer, press two. 71 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,079 If you've received notification about 72 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,581 a hostile takeover of your business, press three. 73 00:03:00,682 --> 00:03:01,616 Oh, three. Press three. 74 00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,051 That's you. 75 00:03:03,151 --> 00:03:04,719 Who's ready to watch 76 00:03:04,819 --> 00:03:07,421 some-- oh, look. 77 00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:09,557 The bunker ghosts are here, sitting on the couch 78 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,092 -again. -Hey, Hetty. 79 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,493 You guys have been here for like five hours. 80 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,395 Yeah, I mean, I was happy to free you all 81 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,598 from your afterlife of eternal servitude to Bruce, 82 00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,600 but you're kind of bogarting the TV, man. 83 00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:21,201 Don't you have any 84 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,905 bunker commitments you got to get back for? 85 00:03:24,005 --> 00:03:25,272 - Not really. - Ever since 86 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,741 the cult disbanded, 87 00:03:26,841 --> 00:03:28,375 there's kind of no schedule down there. 88 00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,444 It was oppressive but structured. 89 00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:32,113 Yeah. 90 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,581 All you hear about with cults is the brainwashing 91 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,116 and the weird sex stuff. People don't talk enough 92 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,685 about the upsides of a predictable calendar. 93 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,088 Well, can we at least put on Bodices and Barons? 94 00:03:40,188 --> 00:03:41,956 I believe a new episode just dropped, 95 00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,124 as they say. 96 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,424 Trevor, do your finger thing. 97 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:45,793 Actually, we're kind of 98 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,729 in the middle of a Houdini documentary. 99 00:03:47,829 --> 00:03:49,229 As you know, 100 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:52,299 I do magic, and we were here first, so... 101 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,267 You were here first? 102 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,772 You were here first? 103 00:03:57,872 --> 00:03:59,107 Yeah. 104 00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:00,641 I built this house. 105 00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:01,943 Well, technically a group of Irish day laborers 106 00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:03,310 built the house, 107 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,779 along with a plucky group of orphans. 108 00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:06,647 She's hard to root for but we love her. 109 00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:07,648 I know you bunker ghosts 110 00:04:07,749 --> 00:04:09,517 were just unearthed, 111 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:11,384 so let me explain how things work on this property. 112 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,121 The basement ghosts 113 00:04:13,221 --> 00:04:15,156 stick to the basement. The shed ghosts stick to the shed. 114 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,825 And the upstairs ghosts, well, this 115 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,961 is our domain. 116 00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:21,996 Okay, but this documentary's really interesting. 117 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,599 Did you know Houdini died from a punch to the stomach? 118 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,100 Don't give me any ideas. 119 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,635 Okay. 120 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:30,972 Please continue to hold. 121 00:04:31,072 --> 00:04:33,508 We hope you're having a refreshing day. 122 00:04:33,608 --> 00:04:35,676 Representative! 123 00:04:35,777 --> 00:04:39,479 Representative! We need a representative. 124 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,116 That's what we said. To King George. 125 00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:44,351 That's called political humor. 126 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,953 They call this customer service? 127 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,320 When I was a travel agent, 128 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,524 I was available for my clients 24/7. 129 00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:51,526 I can't tell you how many times I had to pick up a suitcase 130 00:04:51,626 --> 00:04:52,794 in the middle of the night and drive it out 131 00:04:52,894 --> 00:04:54,461 to some guy on the docks. 132 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,197 Babe, do you think that might have been mob stuff? 133 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,865 What? No. 134 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,067 Yeah, probably. 135 00:05:00,168 --> 00:05:01,702 Thank you for holding, how can I quench your thirst 136 00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:03,037 for information? 137 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,539 Elegant how they pull water theme 138 00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:06,473 through entire customer service experience. 139 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:07,742 Yeah, um, 140 00:05:07,842 --> 00:05:09,577 we just found out that our property, 141 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,245 Woodstone Mansion, was recently sold 142 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,880 to Ever Creek, and we were hoping 143 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,016 for some information about what that means. 144 00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:16,150 Of course. 145 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,885 I have that information on tap. 146 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,386 Give me just a quick sec. 147 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,022 I'm scared, babe. 148 00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:22,389 What if they don't want us to run Woodstone anymore? 149 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,357 It's gonna be okay, Jay. 150 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:25,660 I hope. 151 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,028 Okay, I've pulled up your file. 152 00:05:27,128 --> 00:05:29,697 So, it looks like nothing's gonna change... 153 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,767 ...for 48 hours, at which point 154 00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,268 your home will be demolished 155 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:35,736 and construction on an Ever Creek data center 156 00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:37,572 -will commence. -Wait, what? 157 00:05:37,672 --> 00:05:39,006 Is there anything else I can help you with? 158 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,609 Yeah, can you not demolish our house? 159 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,376 I know, that would be great, right? 160 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,412 Let me put you on a brief hold while I look into that. 161 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,215 No, wait! 162 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,684 ♪ Splish, splash, I was takin' a bath ♪ 163 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,018 ♪ Long about a Saturday night... ♪ 164 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,887 Water theme continue. 165 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,895 This is indeed a problem, dear neighbors. 166 00:06:00,995 --> 00:06:04,031 A data center? On this property? 167 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,365 I guess it's a whole thing. 168 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,268 They like to set up shop in rural areas 169 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,070 next to water sources. 170 00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:10,437 Betrayed by the magical creek. 171 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,973 I don't understand. 172 00:06:12,073 --> 00:06:14,407 What does Ever Creek have to do with a data center? 173 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,611 I thought they were a water company? 174 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:17,979 I guess there's been a bunch of mergers. 175 00:06:18,079 --> 00:06:20,248 Now, they're also in telecommunications, 176 00:06:20,348 --> 00:06:22,950 sports betting, weapons manufacturing. 177 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,484 They also have big presence in beef. 178 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,920 Interesting fact. 179 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:29,290 I saw something about this on TV. 180 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,759 Those data centers are a scourge. 181 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,895 We can't have that in our community. 182 00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:35,495 Sorry to hit you with all this 183 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,765 right when you get back from your RV adventure. 184 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,567 "RV adventure." 185 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,468 That's a polite way of saying "coast-to-coast sex romp." 186 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,004 It was a glorious trip. 187 00:06:43,104 --> 00:06:45,106 There were just so many nooks and crannies 188 00:06:45,206 --> 00:06:47,942 to explore all across this great country. 189 00:06:48,042 --> 00:06:49,610 No one want to think about that. 190 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,646 Is one reason why we threw elders off cliff. 191 00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:53,281 Anyway, 192 00:06:53,381 --> 00:06:55,816 we know you know local ordinances inside and out. 193 00:06:55,917 --> 00:06:58,653 Do you think there's anything we can do to stop this? 194 00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:00,321 Well, there might be. 195 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,823 If a building in Ulster County 196 00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:05,660 is designated a historical landmark, 197 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,328 it cannot be torn down. 198 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,996 Great, so how do we get designated 199 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,865 as a historical landmark? 200 00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:12,333 Well, you would have to be approved 201 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,002 by the county historian Joe Patterson. 202 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,637 I can put you in touch with him. 203 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,307 Thank you so much for this. We really appreciate it. 204 00:07:19,407 --> 00:07:21,275 Don't mention it. Come along, Margaret. 205 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:24,312 We have an RV to deep clean. 206 00:07:24,412 --> 00:07:26,314 Would be safer to just burn it. 207 00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,650 It's just not right, tearing down a mansion 208 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,285 to make way for industry. 209 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,821 That is what working-class neighborhoods are for. 210 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,122 What is a data center anyway? 211 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,456 I looked this up online. 212 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,360 Apparently, it is just a big warehouse 213 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,995 filled with computer parts. 214 00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:42,730 Oh, like a giant RadioShack? 215 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,732 Well, that's not bad. That's kind of great, actually. 216 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,901 I wonder what Tandy version they're up to by now? 217 00:07:47,001 --> 00:07:48,869 8,000? 9,000? 218 00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:51,505 No, this is just a giant room that is freezing cold 219 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:54,375 and extremely loud and bright, like all the time. 220 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,377 But where will we sleep? 221 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,346 I need my eight hours. 222 00:07:58,446 --> 00:08:00,982 I don't know why I need it, but I do. 223 00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:02,383 I guess we'd sleep in the woods? 224 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,185 Well, you know me, I love 225 00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:06,554 a campout, but every night for eternity? 226 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,889 Without s'mores, or getting to pee on a fire 227 00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,524 - in the morning? - Well, our options 228 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,226 are limited here. These data centers are huge. 229 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,728 Everything is gonna be demolished, 230 00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:15,396 except probably the bunker. 231 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,864 Ooh, well, why don't we just ask the bunker ghosts 232 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,065 if we can live with them? 233 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,600 Right. 234 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,370 That may be complicated at the moment, huh? 235 00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:23,738 You mean because 236 00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:24,839 you screamed at them, and told them 237 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:26,173 to stick to their own domain, 238 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,541 which now you'd be asking to live in? 239 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:28,876 Well, maybe they're over that. 240 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,578 Or maybe none of this will even matter 241 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,214 because Sam and Jay will find a way to save Woodstone 242 00:08:33,314 --> 00:08:36,350 by outmaneuvering a powerful, multinational corporation. 243 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:39,787 Yeah, I better go eat some crow. 244 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,089 Thank you so much for meeting with us, Joe. 245 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,225 As I shared on the phone, 246 00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:47,628 our property has been sold to an evil water conglomerate 247 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,597 and they're planning on tearing it down. 248 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,899 That's a shame. It's a beautiful old building. 249 00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:55,403 I love how you've kept so many of the original details intact. 250 00:08:55,504 --> 00:08:56,937 Definitely choice, not just because 251 00:08:57,038 --> 00:08:58,406 they too broke to renovate. 252 00:08:58,507 --> 00:09:00,041 You know, we were told that 253 00:09:00,141 --> 00:09:01,942 if Woodstone is designated a historical landmark, 254 00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:04,979 then Ever Creek wouldn't be allowed to demolish it. 255 00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:08,282 The criteria for what qualifies is quite specific. 256 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,251 Woodstone, while grand, 257 00:09:10,351 --> 00:09:12,453 is rather run-of-the-mill for mansions of this era. 258 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,954 Dibs on telling Hetty 259 00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,290 this guy called her house "run-of-the-mill." 260 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,426 Okay, well, what would qualify us? 261 00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:19,960 Well, I recently awarded landmark status 262 00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:23,397 to a nearby Revolutionary War-era tavern, Pierre's. 263 00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:25,800 Oh, I spent many an evening there. 264 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,802 The leg of horse, mmm. 265 00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:30,404 So tender, the meat fell right off the hoof. 266 00:09:30,505 --> 00:09:31,972 But Pierre's hosted a bevy 267 00:09:32,073 --> 00:09:34,141 of legendary figures from history. 268 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,810 Ben Franklin was a regular there. 269 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,978 Ben Franklin was a regular at every tavern. 270 00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:39,980 You know what would have been historically significant? 271 00:09:40,081 --> 00:09:41,816 If he had had a piece of broccoli. 272 00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:43,451 What if I told you 273 00:09:43,552 --> 00:09:46,153 someone historically significant actually died here. 274 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,688 That would be very interesting. 275 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,490 That would command my attention. 276 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,358 All right, we all know where this is heading. 277 00:09:51,459 --> 00:09:52,927 Bertie Town. 278 00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,662 Have you ever heard of the famous jazz singer 279 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,163 Alberta Haynes? 280 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,965 She was murdered right here at Woodstone. 281 00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,667 Actually, I have heard of her. 282 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:00,968 -Yes! -But, no, 283 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,336 she's nowhere near famous enough. 284 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,538 You son of a bitch. 285 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,473 Oof, that humiliation on par 286 00:10:05,574 --> 00:10:07,308 with dying with small stupid hat. 287 00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:08,476 Ooh! 288 00:10:08,577 --> 00:10:09,544 There's also evidence 289 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,212 that Isaac Higgintoot died here. 290 00:10:11,312 --> 00:10:13,481 Yes. He was a Revolutionary War officer. 291 00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:16,851 He negotiated the surrender at Fort Ticonderoga. 292 00:10:16,951 --> 00:10:19,854 And he was... just across the street 293 00:10:19,954 --> 00:10:22,289 during the signing of the Declaration of Independence. 294 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:23,457 He would have been there, 295 00:10:23,558 --> 00:10:24,526 but they started earlier. 296 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,693 Yeah, it doesn't sound great 297 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,529 when you line it all up like that. 298 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,363 Tell them about time Isaac turn into bat 299 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,632 and attack Alexander Hamilton. 300 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,000 That was from the book. 301 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,468 You know that wasn't real, right? 302 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,037 Yes. 303 00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,472 Dumbass. 304 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,342 Hey, guys. See, I told you 305 00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:42,877 the water line would take us right here. 306 00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:44,678 That was harrowing! 307 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,247 I think a snake went right through my face. 308 00:10:46,347 --> 00:10:47,348 Well, if it isn't 309 00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:48,583 the upstairs ghosts. 310 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,017 Hetty. 311 00:10:51,185 --> 00:10:56,157 Uh, I came here to apologize. 312 00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:59,594 I was wrong to lash out as I did. 313 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,563 And truth be told, I was a little-- 314 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:05,065 I believe the word is-- "hangry." 315 00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,234 She hasn't eaten since the Grover Cleveland administration. 316 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,369 The point is, 317 00:11:08,469 --> 00:11:10,771 I do deeply regret my behavior. 318 00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,273 Yeah, we heard about the data center. 319 00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:14,576 Let me guess, you all want to move in here 320 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,110 now that they're tearing down the mansion? 321 00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:19,246 Oh. Nothing could be further from the truth. 322 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,848 But now you bring it up, 323 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,384 it is a gracious invitation we happily accept. 324 00:11:23,484 --> 00:11:24,919 I'll tell you what, we'll let you all 325 00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:26,687 move in here, except for Hetty. 326 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:29,690 Hey, man, Hetty is our friend, 327 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,725 and we're not gonna abandon her like that. 328 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,361 Indeed. We are one and we have spoken. 329 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,831 Well, if that's your choice, then, I respect it... 330 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,535 ...but none of you can move in. 331 00:11:40,635 --> 00:11:42,903 Enjoy huddling together outside in the dead of winter. 332 00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:46,608 -Yeah, okay, we'll take the deal. -Sorry, Hetty. 333 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,610 -Can I get a top bunk? -Ugh! 334 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,744 Apparently, they can't tear down the mansion 335 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,980 if someone historically significant died here. 336 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,282 I might be historically significant. 337 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,451 I ate an orange once. 338 00:11:57,552 --> 00:12:00,788 Yeah, I'm not sure that's gonna move the needle. 339 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,256 You should tell them your secret. 340 00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:03,991 Oh, shut it, you sack of turds. 341 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,826 I don't want anyone to know about that. 342 00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,762 Not even if it saves Woodstone? 343 00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,766 Okay, so, you're saying a Viking died here. 344 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,603 -That's right. -Which would be 345 00:12:14,703 --> 00:12:16,638 extremely historically significant. 346 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,472 Is nice to hear. 347 00:12:18,573 --> 00:12:21,308 And you actually had remains that could prove it, 348 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,744 but for some reason, you pushed those remains 349 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,080 out into the middle of a lake and set them on fire? 350 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,415 It was sort of a Viking funeral. 351 00:12:28,516 --> 00:12:31,986 Uh, perhaps the first one in Ulster County. 352 00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:33,622 Huh? Is that something? 353 00:12:33,722 --> 00:12:35,624 It is something, 354 00:12:35,724 --> 00:12:36,824 just not something that can help you here. 355 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:37,925 Oh, this isn't good. 356 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,460 We're running out of ghosts. 357 00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,495 Anyway, I should probably be going. 358 00:12:41,596 --> 00:12:43,030 Hey, guys. What's going on? 359 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,832 Uh, w-what about Pete Martino, who died here? 360 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:47,334 He-he was a famous local cuckold. 361 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,370 Okay, not my favorite way to walk into a room. 362 00:12:49,470 --> 00:12:51,372 I'm not sure I know who that is, 363 00:12:51,472 --> 00:12:54,308 and if being a cuckold were enough to get landmark status, 364 00:12:54,408 --> 00:12:56,176 my home would have had a plaque years ago. 365 00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:57,311 Feels like there's a story there. 366 00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,179 It was wonderful meeting you two. 367 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,881 I'm sorry this didn't go your way. 368 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,019 What are we gonna do? 369 00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,321 We are so screwed. 370 00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:10,824 I heard you're looking for someone who's dead and famous. 371 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,695 Well, look no further. 372 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,496 Nancy, what are you talking about? 373 00:13:15,597 --> 00:13:17,031 I've got a story to tell. 374 00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:19,033 It's something I never wanted anyone to know, 375 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:21,302 but if it'll save Woodstone, 376 00:13:21,402 --> 00:13:23,370 I guess now's the time to tell you. 377 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,205 The thing is... 378 00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:28,175 I'm a princess. 379 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,216 Jay, Nancy just told everyone that she's a princess. 380 00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:38,553 - Okay. - Yeah, 381 00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:40,054 we're gonna need you to say more. 382 00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:42,524 Nancy's not my real name. 383 00:13:42,624 --> 00:13:44,058 I was born... 384 00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:49,129 Princess Adeline Marie Dunham of Bedford. 385 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,232 We lived in a castle. I had servants. 386 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,235 I crapped in a golden bowl. The whole nine. 387 00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:58,238 Mother, why must I sit for this portrait? 388 00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:00,407 It is most tiresome. 389 00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:04,244 We intend to send it to the Prince of Liechtenstein. 390 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:07,448 Hopefully, it will make a favorable impression, 391 00:14:07,549 --> 00:14:09,416 and he will take you for his wife. 392 00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,952 Mm, but I don't wish to marry him. 393 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,755 I hear he smells bad. 394 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,090 I mean, we all smell pretty bad, 395 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,258 so if you're hearing about how someone smells, 396 00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:20,260 that can't be pleasant. 397 00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:21,796 Don't be ridiculous. 398 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:24,566 It will be a comfortable life of teas and balls 399 00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:26,534 with others of the noble class. 400 00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:28,770 It is the life you were born for. 401 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,405 Oh, but those things don't interest me. 402 00:14:31,506 --> 00:14:33,941 I wish to cavort by creeks, 403 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,110 run in fields, speak plainly 404 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:40,948 and, if I'm being honest, lay with many different people. 405 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:45,620 You're describing the life of a commoner. 406 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,388 So, I ran away. 407 00:14:47,488 --> 00:14:49,957 On a royal trip to Canada, I slipped away in the night, 408 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:54,128 ditched my fancy duds and reinvented myself as Nancy. 409 00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,163 You're the lost princess of Bedford? 410 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,600 I-I read about that in school. That was a big deal. 411 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,100 Okay, now, that sounds 412 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,002 - plaque-worthy. - Nancy, 413 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,772 why you never tell anyone? 414 00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:05,305 'Cause I'm embarrassed. 415 00:15:05,406 --> 00:15:07,141 It was a dumbass thing to do. 416 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:09,343 What did I think was so terrible, huh? 417 00:15:09,443 --> 00:15:12,781 Eating bonbons all day? Frickin' idiot. 418 00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:16,651 This whole time, Nancy was... fancy. 419 00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:18,452 The problem is, Joe is gonna want proof. 420 00:15:18,553 --> 00:15:20,254 What about this? 421 00:15:21,422 --> 00:15:23,157 It's got my initials on it. 422 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:25,926 Nancy has a locket with her real initials on it. 423 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,763 Okay, but how does that help us? We need the real necklace. 424 00:15:28,863 --> 00:15:31,165 Well, hell, I don't know. My cholera-ravaged corpse 425 00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,167 has got to be around here somewhere. 426 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,169 Go rooting around. 427 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,638 So, we have to dig up your body? 428 00:15:36,738 --> 00:15:38,005 Okay, I'll go 429 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,973 put on my grave-digging gloves. 430 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,010 No need. Thor has seen necklace before, 431 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:46,146 and Thor know where to find it. 432 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:49,116 You people have some nerve. 433 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,618 What are you talking about? 434 00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:52,854 No, seriously, I do need to get caught up. 435 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,288 Hetty, let's be adults 436 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,558 about this. I get that you're upset. 437 00:15:56,658 --> 00:15:57,859 Did someone eat your alfalfa sandwich 438 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,193 from the commune fridge, 439 00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:00,728 even though you clearly marked it? 440 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,530 I hate when that happens. 441 00:16:02,630 --> 00:16:04,498 How could you all so quickly accept that offer? 442 00:16:04,599 --> 00:16:05,867 We were simply cutting to the chase. 443 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,535 How exactly do you figure? 444 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:08,570 Inevitably, you would have told us 445 00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:10,070 to carry forth without you. 446 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,873 We would've objected, you would have insisted. 447 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,240 Back and forth it would go, 448 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,175 until finally, we gave in to your wish. 449 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,678 You're welcome. 450 00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:19,547 This has been a most difficult day. 451 00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:21,348 The thing I spent my life building-- 452 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:25,553 my house, my life's work-- could very well be demolished. 453 00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:28,055 And it shall be as though I never existed. 454 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,492 And it is in this darkest of hours, 455 00:16:31,593 --> 00:16:35,329 that my "friends" choose to forsake me. 456 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:41,134 Are you two happy with yourselves? 457 00:16:41,235 --> 00:16:43,805 I hope that sandwich was worth it. 458 00:16:46,941 --> 00:16:49,243 Necklace in there. 459 00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:51,011 How do you know that? 460 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,248 Many years ago, Thor watch Hetty's father take necklace 461 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:57,017 off Nancy's dead body, then gift to Hetty. 462 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,453 -Lovely. -He claim he had it made for her 463 00:16:59,554 --> 00:17:01,121 by fine European jeweler. 464 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,223 Hetty keep necklace in there. 465 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,259 Oh, my God, Jay, I think this is it. 466 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,796 Yeah, there it is. The one thing I kept from my old life. 467 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,766 A.D., for "Adeline Dunham," 468 00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:14,268 which is Nancy's real princess name! 469 00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:17,437 Wow, crazy stuff happening in ghost world today. 470 00:17:17,539 --> 00:17:19,741 But how did Hetty's dad explain those initials? 471 00:17:19,841 --> 00:17:21,910 He say it stand for "adorable daughter." 472 00:17:22,010 --> 00:17:23,578 Quick thinking, Thor thought. 473 00:17:23,678 --> 00:17:26,548 He awful, but wise. 474 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,952 Hey, guys. 475 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,287 I think a groundhog went through my stomach. 476 00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,222 Oh, I hate the dirt. 477 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,891 What do you guys want? 478 00:17:36,991 --> 00:17:38,125 We want to talk to you about the whole 479 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:39,293 "leaving Hetty out" thing. 480 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:40,962 I-It's not cool. 481 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,598 Yeah, cults aren't about excluding people. 482 00:17:43,698 --> 00:17:45,633 They're about bringing people in, 483 00:17:45,733 --> 00:17:47,936 gradually poisoning all of their outside relationships 484 00:17:48,036 --> 00:17:49,637 and then not letting them leave. 485 00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:51,405 And while we appreciate you agreeing to shelter us, 486 00:17:51,506 --> 00:17:54,107 we could not abandon our friend to do so. 487 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,109 Okay. Sounds good. 488 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,579 -Yeah, good luck with everything. -Yeah. 489 00:17:57,679 --> 00:17:59,313 Oh, come on, bunker buddies. 490 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,315 Why can't you just take Hetty in? 491 00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:03,417 She hates us and she's so mean. 492 00:18:04,786 --> 00:18:06,186 -Yeah. -Very astute. 493 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,155 -She... -How about this? 494 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,825 We agree to take you in, Hetty included, 495 00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:12,961 but we want our TV privileges back. 496 00:18:13,061 --> 00:18:16,163 Even in the event that Woodstone is spared from demolition. 497 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,497 But if Woodstone were to be spared, 498 00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:19,333 we wouldn't need your help any longer. 499 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,669 That's their point, Isaac. They're exercising leverage. 500 00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:24,338 It's something I understand well from my trading days. 501 00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:26,007 You guys know who Jordan Belfort was? 502 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,341 No. 503 00:18:27,441 --> 00:18:29,176 Well, I was at his bachelor party. 504 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,612 So, do we have a deal? 505 00:18:33,748 --> 00:18:35,049 Fine. 506 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,985 And thank you. We shall be on our way. 507 00:18:37,085 --> 00:18:38,987 A-Actually, we'll come with you. 508 00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:40,688 There's a six-part Doug Henning documentary 509 00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:42,356 I wanted to jump into. 510 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,326 No groundhogs, no groundhogs, no groundhogs... 511 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,695 Right in my mouth! 512 00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,998 Damn these dirt squirrels. 513 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:56,838 Oh, thank you again for stepping up in the end. 514 00:18:56,938 --> 00:18:58,673 -Mm. -I truly appreciate your friendship. 515 00:18:58,773 --> 00:19:00,708 -Oh, we could not abandon you. -Hmm. 516 00:19:00,808 --> 00:19:02,710 Can you two keep it down? I can't hear Doug talk about 517 00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,545 the wonder of magic. 518 00:19:04,646 --> 00:19:06,714 But next time, don't ever make a deal without me. 519 00:19:06,814 --> 00:19:08,883 -You all got hosed. -Yeah, that's fair. 520 00:19:08,983 --> 00:19:11,019 Maybe sleeping outside 521 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:12,587 wouldn't have been so bad. 522 00:19:12,687 --> 00:19:14,221 Although nature can be scary. 523 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,923 I was once eaten by a bear. 524 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:18,026 Hmm. That was tough to watch. 525 00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,762 The cubs were cute, though, when they joined in. 526 00:19:26,801 --> 00:19:28,903 Well, this is exquisite. 527 00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:31,606 Late Regency. The period certainly seems to be correct. 528 00:19:31,706 --> 00:19:34,542 And those are clearly the lost princess's initials, right? 529 00:19:34,642 --> 00:19:36,410 True, but unfortunately, this necklace 530 00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:38,546 could have belonged to anybody with these initials. 531 00:19:38,646 --> 00:19:39,947 Uh-- Joe, buddy, this is close. 532 00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:42,349 Tie goes to the runner. Plaque us up. 533 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,552 I'm just saying, it's not conclusive. 534 00:19:44,652 --> 00:19:47,220 Unlike the texts I found on my wife's phone. 535 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,455 We didn't have texting in my day. 536 00:19:48,556 --> 00:19:49,957 Otherwise, I would have figured out 537 00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:52,093 the whole Carol/Jerry thing a lot sooner. 538 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,862 They go away for two-week trip to Bermuda, Pete. 539 00:19:54,962 --> 00:19:56,531 Tell you it was for "bowling league." 540 00:19:56,631 --> 00:19:58,833 Okay, there were signs. 541 00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:01,669 Let me know if you're able to find more concrete evidence. 542 00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:03,437 Thank you. 543 00:20:03,538 --> 00:20:06,774 Okay, we need to tie this necklace to Nancy. 544 00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:08,475 Well, this is a long shot, 545 00:20:08,576 --> 00:20:10,912 but there's a painting of me wearing it. 546 00:20:11,012 --> 00:20:12,747 What? Really? W-Where is it? 547 00:20:12,847 --> 00:20:14,115 Oh, beats me. 548 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,482 Mother was gonna send it to that prince 549 00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:16,951 so he could perv out on it, 550 00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:19,352 but then I left, so my best guess is that 551 00:20:19,453 --> 00:20:21,956 it's still in my family's castle collecting dust. 552 00:20:22,056 --> 00:20:25,159 I mean, maybe, but it could be anywhere by now. 553 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,662 Nancy says there is a portrait of her wearing the necklace, 554 00:20:27,762 --> 00:20:31,298 but it might be in her family's castle, or anywhere, really. 555 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,134 So, we have less than 72 hours to track down 556 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,970 a 200-year-old painting which may or may not still exist, 557 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,072 and if we don't, an evil water conglomerate's 558 00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:40,407 gonna destroy our home and business? 559 00:20:40,508 --> 00:20:42,677 You know, Sam gets most of the credit for summarizing, 560 00:20:42,777 --> 00:20:44,277 -but he's not bad, either. -Mm-hmm.