1 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:16,148 Stupid expired lunch meats, why are you so affordable? 2 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,617 (loud gurgle) 3 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:22,221 What the? Where's the toilet paper? 4 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:39,004 I should have at least ten rolls left. 5 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:43,976 Mr. Mumbles, toilet paper is not a toy. 6 00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:47,279 If you need to shred something, that's why I stole Chris' shoe. 7 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,352 Mr. Mumbles? Where are you? 8 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,955 (mr. mumbles meow) 9 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,426 Don't tell me you've got a date 10 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,661 with that tabby across the street, 11 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:06,098 the whole neighborhood knows he's got a catnip problem. 12 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:06,698 (mr. mumbles meow) 13 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:13,105 If he's out by that dumpster again, I'm gonna-- 14 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,907 Sand? 15 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,575 Egyptian Cat worship? 16 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,610 Missing toilet paper? 17 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:24,516 MUMMY! 18 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,766 (smashing sound) 19 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,701 Ahh meatball shark! 20 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,403 Chris! I need to use your bathroom! 21 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,337 Ugh, Dan. 22 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,206 Were those knives? 23 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,307 What knives? 24 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,879 Dan, remember our conversation about visiting hours? 25 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:54,740 (dan o.s.) What? 26 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,540 I waited until morning out of respect for you! 27 00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,151 It's four o'clock. 28 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,419 (dan o.s.) ...in the morning! 29 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,188 What is this? 30 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,357 Where is the good toilet paper? 31 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,093 We only have one kind of toilet paper. 32 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,495 Three ply? 33 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,364 You people are savages. 34 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,901 Anything less than five ply might as well be sandpaper. 35 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:19,037 Well, I'm sorry if our toilet paper isn't up 36 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,206 to your lofty standards. 37 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,209 You're only cheating yourself. 38 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:27,112 Why are you even using our bathroom to begin with? 39 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,647 Did you break yours? 40 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,083 No, I didn't break mine. 41 00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,451 I've been robbed. 42 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:35,587 Pilfered. Hijacked. Encrimed. 43 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,656 Not a real word. 44 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,225 The beauty of a living language is you can make up new words 45 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,927 whenever you want. 46 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,264 Shakespeare did it, you flueswonkler. 47 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,032 Anyway, this is beside the point. 48 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,934 A mummy stole my toilet paper! 49 00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,090 It's true. 50 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,600 Why would a mummy steal your toilet paper? 51 00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,645 Because it's super high end. 52 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:03,749 Imported Egyptian cotton. I have a guy. 53 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:07,119 Where do you get the money to splurge on fancy toilet paper. 54 00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,287 Priorities, Chris. 55 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:11,223 When it's important you find the money. 56 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,659 Does that mean I can have my twenty dollars back? 57 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,295 I'm not even going to justify that with an answer. 58 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,897 Are you sure you didn't just run out? 59 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,899 Run out? Run out?! 60 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,136 I may not know the middle two digits of my social security 61 00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:27,773 number, I may not know what's actually in the jar 62 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:31,410 in my fridge marked 'not pickles' but, 63 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:34,546 I swear by Odin's frosty beard, 64 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:38,517 I know to the square how much toilet paper I have 65 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,520 and I have been robbed! 66 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,188 Yeah, but a mummy? 67 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,990 Well, the History Museum did just open a 68 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,291 new Egyptian exhibit. 69 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:50,028 Ah ha! See! Come on, Chris. 70 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,964 We have a mummy to revengenate. 71 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,333 Not a word. 72 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,168 Okay, Dan. You can have Chris for a little bit, 73 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,502 but I need him tonight. 74 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,304 We're going to M'Opera. 75 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,872 It's a mime opera. 76 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,274 This is the last run of -- 77 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,944 So, keep the mayhem to a minimum. 78 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,779 I stopped listening after 'platypus'. 79 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,082 I never said 'platypus'. 80 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,350 Didn't you? 81 00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:13,950 Hey, have you seen my other sneaker? 82 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,825 I'm not exactly clear on the plan. 83 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,795 The mummy stole my stuff, so we're gonna steal his stuff. 84 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,931 Technically, isn't it the museum's stuff? 85 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,866 And, isn't that a felony? 86 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:31,069 California penal code eight thirty three dot four, 87 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,504 sub-paragraph B. 88 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,941 It's only a felony if someone sees you doing it. 89 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,808 You're making that up. 90 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,310 Am I? 91 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,179 Alright, we need to hide until after closing. 92 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,649 Dan, this place doesn't close for another eight hours. 93 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:44,816 Why don't we just come back? 94 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:49,221 With that level of commitment, it's no wonder Elise left you. 95 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:50,689 What?! Elise didn't leave me! 96 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,525 Well, where has she been for the last six months? 97 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:57,129 Dan, you just saw her at the house not twenty minutes ago! 98 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,163 Quick, someone's coming! 99 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:02,234 And here we have your typical cavemen warming themselves 100 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:05,404 around the fire after a long day hunting tasty, 101 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,371 succulent mammoth. 102 00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:07,639 Mm! 103 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,542 Ugh, boring. Cavemen are dumb. 104 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,644 Look at that one, he's so dirty. 105 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,212 And tiny. 106 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,180 And ugly. 107 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,420 Ow! The caveman just poked me! 108 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,688 Animatronics. 109 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:23,955 On to the New World. 110 00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:25,691 Did you know the ancient Mayans 111 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,759 predicted the end of my marriage? 112 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,461 (tour guide o.s.) Ha ha ha. 113 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,595 I'm so lonely. 114 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:35,667 Aw. It's foam rubber. 115 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,070 You expected real mammoth? 116 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,772 Well, real mammoth flavoring at least. 117 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,774 Now we wait. 118 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:48,080 Remember, hold perfectly still. 119 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:48,747 (chomp) 120 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,583 Still not mammoth. 121 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,185 Mind your own business. 122 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,028 Shouldn't we swing by the Civil War 123 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,730 and grab a musket or something? 124 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,533 Chris, you don't use a civil war musket to kill a mummy. 125 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,636 That's strictly swamp creature weaponry. 126 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,415 Yes. This will do nicely. 127 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,755 Uh, Dan. You should see this. 128 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,256 (smash) 129 00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:33,820 Okay, you've got his stuff, let's go. 130 00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:34,780 If we go, 131 00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:37,990 how is he going to know that I'm the one who got revenge? 132 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,464 You could leave a note? 133 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:40,365 (creak) 134 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:46,171 (groaning) Aaaaaaaahhhh! 135 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,173 Dan, I think maybe you should give the stuff back. 136 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:52,978 Man, that thing feels like it gets smaller every night. 137 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:58,750 Hi, I'm Ahkenrah. Sup? 138 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,484 Sup? 139 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,886 Sup!? 140 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:04,489 You broke into my apartment, messed with my Mr. Mumbles 141 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:09,594 and stole my personal toiletries, that's what's up! 142 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,896 Get him, Chris! 143 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:11,863 Why me? 144 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,632 Because you're the Chris. 145 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,966 Look, I don't want any trouble. 146 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,902 Do I have to do everything? 147 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,140 Hey, hey, ow, what the heck, bro? 148 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:28,246 There! Vengence, thy name is Dan. 149 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,614 Great. Can we go now? 150 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,349 Sure. Hold these. 151 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,251 Why? 152 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,288 Because if I get caught with them, I'll go to jail. 153 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,593 You know getting revenge on an apparently immortal 154 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,296 Pharaoh was much easier than I would have thought. 155 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,799 That's what happens when I declare something Persona- 156 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,100 Non-Dan. 157 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,902 That means someone who isn't you. 158 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:56,341 Right, and because they aren't me, they don't stand a chance. 159 00:07:56,343 --> 00:08:03,882 When I set my mind to something, it's as good as... 160 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:04,516 ...done? 161 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,360 Oh, no. Mummy's curse! Mummy's curse! 162 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,800 Uh, bro. Cut that out. 163 00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:24,236 Little help? 164 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,707 Your stuff is right there. Take it. 165 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:30,609 What, that junk? 166 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,744 Keep it, it's all fake anyway. 167 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,981 Remind me to demand a refund from the museum. 168 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,549 We snuck in, remember? 169 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,917 What's your point? 170 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,318 What are you doing here? 171 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,822 I dunno, I just got excavated, you guys seemed cool. 172 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,290 I thought we could hang. 173 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,691 Hang? Hang?! 174 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,160 You stole my toilet paper! 175 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,796 Yeah, bro. My bad. Though you can't really blame that on 176 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,732 me though, you're the only one in a hundred miles 177 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,368 with rolls of Egyptian cotton just laying around. 178 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,003 I needed a touch up. 179 00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,442 Oh, nasty! 180 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,578 I've been in pyramids younger than this sandwich. 181 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,614 That sandwich was a collector's item! 182 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,616 That's it. Get out! 183 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,321 Chris! Help me! 184 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,857 I don't know, Dan. I don't want to get cursed. 185 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,825 There is no mummy's curse. 186 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,128 There so is, dude. 187 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,963 Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it. 188 00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:27,300 So what am I supposed to do with him?! 189 00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:28,900 Just ignore him. 190 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,160 That's what Elise always tells me to do. 191 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,072 Why would Elise give you advice on dealing with 192 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,041 annoying mummies? 193 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,009 Mummies... right. 194 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:38,877 Good night, Dan. 195 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:41,913 So, you wanna play pinochle? 196 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,251 Elise? You up? 197 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,819 I brought presents from the museum. 198 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,693 Oh... ...crud. 199 00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,265 Dan. Dan. 200 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:00,932 Dan? 201 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,167 Dan. Dan. 202 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:05,870 WHAT?!?! 203 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,939 Dan. Can I use this spoon? 204 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,950 Morning. Whatcha making? 205 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:21,620 Bacon? 206 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:25,523 For me? 207 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,425 I know, I screwed up. 208 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:32,097 But tonight, you and me, M'Opera for sure. 209 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:35,800 Dan is...uh...uh occupied. 210 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,802 Promise? 211 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:38,436 I promise. 212 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,273 Thanks! 213 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:46,544 Morning, little man. 214 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,314 What are you still doing here? 215 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,116 Why aren't you back at the museum? 216 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,385 That place is boring. 217 00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:55,387 I borrowed a shirt, you don't mind do you? 218 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:59,891 First my toilet paper, now my couture? 219 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:00,925 What are we doing today? 220 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,827 Well, I don't know what you're going to do, 221 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,296 but I'm going to be trying to get rid of you. 222 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,698 Hah up top. 223 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,635 Mr. Mumbles, come have some cereal. 224 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:14,239 Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. 225 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,709 Oh, look. She likes me. 226 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,945 Who's the earthly embodiment of Bastet? 227 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,915 You are. Yes, you are. 228 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,216 (purrs loudly) 229 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,084 E tu, Mr. Mumbles? 230 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,354 Ack! 231 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,823 Sorry. 232 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,059 Had a bad case of scarabs for years now. 233 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,761 Just can't get rid of the little buggers. 234 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:43,034 That's it. I need to... run to the store for... a 235 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,436 A new chandelier. 236 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:48,206 I'll be right back. Wait here. 237 00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:53,411 Hello? 238 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,146 Chris? I'm coming over. 239 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,781 The mummy never went home last night. 240 00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:58,640 Who is this? 241 00:11:58,640 --> 00:11:59,420 Shut up. 242 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,020 We've got to get rid of him, he's driving me crazy. 243 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,154 Well, don't bring him here. 244 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,756 I told Elise you were busy today. 245 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,159 Don't be an idiot. I left him at my place. 246 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,260 I'll be there in a second. 247 00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,163 No, Dan. I'm serious. 248 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,599 I can't. Dan. Dan? 249 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,036 Ah, crud. 250 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,471 What? 251 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:21,106 Aw, crud. 252 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,240 What? 253 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,642 What are you doing here? 254 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,445 I'm four thousand years old, bro. 255 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,681 You really think I'm gonna fall for 'gotta run to the market'? 256 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,290 If Elise comes home and finds him, she's gonna kill me. 257 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,825 Get him out of here. 258 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,495 What do you think I've been trying to do? 259 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:46,131 Actually, I was talking to Ahkenrah. 260 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,199 Elise! 261 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,168 You're back? 262 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,804 Or did you just come to collect your things before moving on? 263 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,405 Dan, stop that. 264 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,808 Chris, is that a mummy on our couch? 265 00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:58,570 Whoa! 266 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,880 You dudes never told me you were living with a goddess. 267 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,815 Let me take those off your hands, my lady. 268 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:08,386 I'm Ahkenrah, Fourteenth King of the Neferankon Dynasty. 269 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:12,123 It's very nice to meet you, your majesty. I'm Elise. 270 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,692 In my day, you would've been Elise-opatra, 271 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,461 Queen of the Nile! 272 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,631 A shimmering goddess who walks amongst mortals swathed in the 273 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,999 finest gold and jewels. 274 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,067 Hey, I got her those! 275 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,269 You stole them. 276 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,037 They're fake! 277 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,173 Well, your highness, I was about to make some lunch. 278 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,274 Care to join me? 279 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,910 Only if you let me cook it for you. 280 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,011 Deal. 281 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:34,646 Mummy's curse! 282 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,284 That was delicious. 283 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,820 It's nice to have someone else do the cooking... 284 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,855 I cook. 285 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,390 ...and leave some for me. 286 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,892 Well, it is so nice to have someone to talk to, 287 00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:51,840 besides Dan, I mean. He's always complaining. 288 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:53,160 Tell me about it. 289 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,800 Between him and Elise, it's like I can't do anything right. 290 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:56,568 Him and who? 291 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,670 What? I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything...and I'm sorry? 292 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,941 So, Ahkenrah, would you be interested in seeing 293 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,008 the M'Opera? 294 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,009 I have a spare ticket. 295 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:05,944 We have three tickets? 296 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,912 No. 297 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,914 It would be an honor, my lady. 298 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,082 Excellent. 299 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,384 Chris, you stay here and play with Dan. 300 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,118 Later, bros. 301 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,791 So, not only did she leave you, she left you for a guy who's 302 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:22,360 been dead for four thousand years. 303 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,662 Elise did not leave me. 304 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:25,897 (vroom)(honk) 305 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,165 (elise o.s.) Bye! Don't wait up. 306 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,235 Okay, he's got to go. 307 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:30,969 Finally. 308 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:44,415 Maybe, I don't know, could we unravel him? 309 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,884 Great, then we've got a naked 310 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:50,722 four thousand year old dead guy we can't get rid of. 311 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,923 Light him on fire? 312 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,392 That's your answer to everything; the yoga studio, 313 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,996 the mailman, cottage cheese. 314 00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:58,863 I've got it! 315 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,833 Get on your computer. 316 00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:08,640 Find out where we can buy a couple thousand frogs and two, 317 00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:12,844 no three million locusts. 318 00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:17,782 Oh, and do a search on 'LA river' and 'turn to blood'. 319 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:20,919 We're not recreating the plagues, Dan. 320 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,453 Oh, come on. 321 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,988 That's what you said last time! 322 00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:27,180 How about just 'mummy problem'? 323 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,280 Here we go. 324 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,730 There's a store in Little Egypt that sells mummy supplies. 325 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,632 Where is Little Egypt? 326 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,000 East Pasadena. 327 00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,168 It's like twenty miles away. 328 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,203 Twenty miles?! 329 00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,540 It might as well be real Egypt. You're driving. 330 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,143 And I'm not paying for gas. 331 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,010 When have you ever? 332 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,398 Welcome to Crazy Habbab's where you'll always find a 333 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,000 pyramid of savings. 334 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,234 You're Crazy Habbab? 335 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:11,869 Actually, I'm Larry. 336 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,171 Crazy Larry? 337 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,940 No, just regular Larry. 338 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,508 We've got a little mummy problem. 339 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:24,615 Great, how much? 340 00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:25,960 Five bucks each. 341 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:27,120 Twenty total. 342 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,180 What are you doing? 343 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,020 This is Little Egypt, We're supposed to haggle . 344 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,926 We'll give you one penny each. 345 00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,828 Five bucks each. 346 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,063 Ten cents each. 347 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:39,931 Five bucks. 348 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:40,965 One dollar. 349 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,034 Five. Bucks. 350 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,335 Three. 351 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,973 Five. 352 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,676 Fine! Five, but I'm taking this lollipop. 353 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,745 Those are twenty five cents. 354 00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,379 Chris, pay the man. 355 00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:06,824 I really thought that the wind was going to blow him over. 356 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,095 Feel the wrath of Dan! 357 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,966 Ah, what the-- Hey, cut that out. 358 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,402 Chris, what are you doing? 359 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:21,339 I will not be replaced by another man. Not even a king! 360 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:22,590 Replaced? 361 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,340 And I will not let you turn Mr. Mumbles against me, 362 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:29,981 you... you.... Feline filcher! 363 00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:31,649 Gah! What is that stuff? 364 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:36,120 It's anti-mummy spray. Why aren't you melting? 365 00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,589 Seriously. Quit it. 366 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,891 I'm starting to get cheesed off here. 367 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,793 Get him in the mouth! 368 00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:42,860 Ack, pfft! 369 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,295 Come on guys I mean it. 370 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,196 I'm... Aaaaarggggh! 371 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:48,933 Ha! It worked. 372 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,338 Kind of...Ow! 373 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,741 We should do something. 374 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,209 I want to see how this plays out. 375 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,277 Rrrraaaaaawwwwwrrrr! 376 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:10,955 Help me! 377 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,194 Oh, gross. 378 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:20,431 You think that's gross, I got some in my mouth. 379 00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,468 Technically, I was just helping. 380 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,570 Uh, oh. 381 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:26,704 Curse. Right? 382 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,739 Grrrraaaaaaaa-- 383 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:30,641 (sharp whistle) 384 00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:33,978 Mrrrrraaaaawwww? 385 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:39,784 (smash) 386 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,121 Hit him over the head? 387 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,790 Seriously, that's all you had to do? 388 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,994 Thanks. You look fantastic by the way. 389 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,964 Thanks, my husband got it for me. 390 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,399 How could you think I was replacing you? 391 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,135 I just wanted you to see what it's like, 392 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,637 not getting to spend time with the person you love. 393 00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,442 Uggh, get a room. 394 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,476 Dan, this is our house. 395 00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:08,112 What now? 396 00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:11,916 What are the police doing here? 397 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:15,353 Probably investigating those artifacts you stole. 398 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,989 We can't just walk him in without being seen. 399 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:21,526 Don't worry, I have a plan. Help me strip him down. 400 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:26,230 (groan) 401 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,469 Rrrraaaaawwwrrr! 402 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:35,907 (girlish screams) 403 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:36,574 All clear. 404 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,920 Quick, in the coffin. 405 00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,060 Sarcophagus. 406 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,910 Why do you always have to be the smartest person in the room? 407 00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:44,949 There's a label right on it. 408 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,654 Lid. 409 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,423 Elise. My tools. 410 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:58,563 Is it weirder that Dan knows how to use that, 411 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,799 or that we had one in the garage and I didn't know it. 412 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,969 Oh, there's much weirder stuff in the garage. 413 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:05,930 What? 414 00:20:05,935 --> 00:20:06,765 Nothing. 415 00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:08,670 There. 416 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,200 He's not getting out of that for at least another 417 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,350 four thousand years. 418 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,120 (thumping) Hey! Not cool, bro. Not cool. 419 00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,130 Let's go. 420 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:24,610 Finally. 421 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,620 You have no idea how annoying it was having him just 422 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,327 hanging around. 423 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,696 Yeah, no idea. I'm sure. 424 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,931 Why are you still carrying the bandages? 425 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,367 You really think I'm going to go out and spend another fifteen 426 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,369 dollars on toilet paper? 427 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,037 What am I made of diamonds? 428 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,372 Good night, Dan. 429 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,506 Oh, and I'm telling you right now, 430 00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,575 I'm not free tomorrow night. 431 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:48,112 Elise and I are going to the Amish ballet. 432 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,514 If she ever comes back. 433 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:51,582 Good night, Dan. 434 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:11,569 Fine. 435 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,005 But I'm keeping a square for myself. 436 00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:21,579 We are so not friends anymore, jerk. 437 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,448 You're the jerk! 438 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,085 I guess you'll have to do. 439 00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:38,062 (dan o.s.) Oh, come on!