1
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(MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

2
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Gosh. It kinda gets ya, doesn't it?

3
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Yeah.

4
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Well, we'd better hurry. We don't
wanna be late for our appointment.

5
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Hope they're expecting us.

6
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Oh, they are... This time.

7
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All right, gentlemen,
we've all had our say,

8
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and we all agree on this one vital point,

9
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we are clamping a tight security lid

10
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on Professor Brainard's
tremendous contribution.

11
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-There's just one little thought, sir.
-It's not that we're edgy,

12
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but we've all been through
the missile lag and the space gap.

13
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We just don't want
a "Flubber foul-up" on our hands.

14
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The country's needs come first, sir,

15
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but if I could have just
a little money right now...

16
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Oh, you'll be recompensed.

17
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Goodness knows, the Armed Services
are never chintzy.

18
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Now what we do, we beard
the appropriations boys in Congress.

19
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Matter of fact, I'm putting two of my
bravest financial officers on the mission.

20
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You understand, sir,
the money isn't for me.

21
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Our college is in financial trouble, and...

22
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And you're turning
everything over to them.

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Professor, you are a fine, unselfish man.

24
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It's a privilege to know you.

25
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But just relax. No sweat.
The money is as good as in your hands.

26
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Rendezvous, 14:00 hours,
at Area 12, sir. The car is waiting.

27
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Gentlemen, we've had
a change of signals.

28
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Schedule four is going in.
Time and area as briefed.

29
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Well, Professor, I don't think we need
to take up any more of your time.

30
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We'll explore the entire situation,
pro and con,

31
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set a figure and then lay out
our grand strategy.

32
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And then, one fine morning,
we'll hit the beach on Capitol Hill.

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Those money watchers'll
go down like nine pins.

34
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But isn't that all going to take time?

35
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Certainly. We have
to stockpile statistics, build up pressure,

36
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deploy our firepower
so we hit them from all directions.

37
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After all, we don't fight Congress
with cap pistols, do we?

38
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Well, no, I don't suppose we do.

39
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Don't let
those double-breasted suits fool you.

40
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Those boys are tough.

41
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Well, the thing is,
we don't need all the money now.

42
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Professor, I don't think
you realize how important
this discovery of yours is.

43
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It's big. We've gotta handle it big.
Everything about it.

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If you settle for chicken feed now,
it's going to be a chicken-feed operation.

45
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Everyone is going to lose face.

46
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Everything is going to fall apart
all the way down the line,

47
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and the free world loses another battle.
Is that what you want?

48
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No, I wouldn't want that, sir.

49
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:47,073
Remember, you're in Washington. Stop
trying to be reasonable about money

50
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or you're going to bollix up
the whole thing.

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-Well, I wouldn't wanna do that.
-Good.

52
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Gentlemen, it is now 13:40 hours.
Let's move out.

53
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You'd think those people
at the Pentagon

54
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,752
could at least have given us a couple
of $100,000 out of petty cash.

55
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What's gonna happen, Professor?

56
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Everybody expects us
to come home loaded with loot.

57
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Yeah.

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-Ducks at 12:00, sir.
-Oh, roger.

59
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(QUACKING)

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I can just see Alonzo Hawk licking
his chops right now.

61
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He's been dying for a chance to move in
and tear the school down.

62
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I'm sorry, Biff.
Sometimes I forget he's your father.

63
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,472
Oh, that's okay. I gotta face it.

64
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,314
Pop's the biggest loan shark in the state,
and he's proud of it.

65
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Let's just say your father is
a very shrewd businessman.

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00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,592
Shrewd?

67
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The only time my pop ever got the worst
of a bargain was when he got me.

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I just didn't turn out the way
he wanted me to at all.

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I don't know what we're gonna tell
the Board of Regents

70
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and President Daggett.

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This is going to break his heart.

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(QUACKING)

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(QUACKING)

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(HORN HONKING)

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Our new hall of science.
Isn't it magnificent, gentlemen?

76
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,869
And all this is possible
thanks to Professor Brainard.

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Medfield College has,
I believe the saying goes,

78
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finally come into the chips.

79
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,636
Why don't you just change
the name of the place

80
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to Brainard College
and have done with it?

81
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,555
A splendid idea, Mr. Hawk,

82
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though I realize it was
offered in a spirit of irony.

83
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I discussed the matter
with Professor Brainard.

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With characteristic modesty,
he wouldn't hear of it.

85
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,948
However, he did consent to let us call
our new science building Flubber Hall.

86
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Now, to implement
our physical acquisitions,

87
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we must search
for gifted young instructors.

88
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You mean more Ned Brainards?

89
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We'll be up to our hips in crackpots.
This town won't be safe to live in.

90
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,832
I'm afraid we don't agree
with you, Mr. Hawk. Do we, gentlemen?

91
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:03,915
ALL: No.

92
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,948
Aren't you all getting
a little high and mighty?

93
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When you couldn't meet my loan,
you danced pretty lively when I talked.

94
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:15,516
Fortunately, a form of Terpsichore
we no longer have to endure, Mr. Hawk.

95
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,478
Professor Brainard is here.

96
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Oh, splendid.
Ask him to come in, please.

97
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,957
Gentlemen, would you be
good enough to rise?

98
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,432
When Professor Brainard comes
in that door,

99
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,670
Medfield College will embark
upon its golden age.

100
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Thank you, gentlemen,
but I wish you wouldn't do that.

101
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I mean you really shouldn't.

102
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Nonsense, Professor Brainard.

103
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Just a spontaneous little
of our personal esteem.

104
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I mean you, uh...
Well, you really shouldn't.

105
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-Nothing wrong, I trust?
-Well, not exactly. It's just...

106
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Well, things aren't quite as
simple as I hoped they'd be.

107
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So, they gave you
the ole dipsy-doodle, huh?

108
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They really sandbagged you.

109
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They hung your hide up
on the barn door to dry.

110
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,711
Professor Brainard, am I to assume that
something has gone amiss?

111
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,119
Well...

112
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,917
But I thought they were
delighted with your discovery.

113
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,552
Oh, they are.
It's just that...

114
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,872
Well, it's a little hard to explain.

115
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,069
May I?

116
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,109
Allow me to boil it down
for you gentlemen,

117
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and you be sure to tell me
if I get it straight?

118
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Number one, the boys in Washington
latched on to your little discovery,

119
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so you can't sell it anywhere else.

120
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Number two, they're not about to give
you any money until they think it over.

121
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Number three,

122
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meantime, you've got no money.

123
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How am I doin'?

124
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Number four,

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somebody better lay 350,000 clams
on the barrelhead,

126
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,436
first of the month by 9:00 am.

127
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to pay off the short-term loan
made to this college

128
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,032
by the Auld Lang Syne
Insurance and Loan Company,

129
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:59,073
or else exactly at 9:03
a fleet of bulldozers

130
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,955
owned by the Auld Lang Syne
Demolition and Wrecking Company

131
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,033
will start rolling through
those hallowed gates

132
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:11,469
and start flattening
these ivy-covered walls in all directions.

133
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,189
Period..

134
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,039
End of story.

135
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,953
Very sad.

136
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,359
But, uh,

137
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,029
personally, I'm crazy about it.

138
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,633
I can't believe you'd do a thing like that,
Mr. Hawk.

139
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:29,994
HAWK: Oh, you can't?

140
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:35,033
Well, boys, it looks like
I'm calling the tune again.

141
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,917
Anybody care to dance?

142
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,354
I know how badly
you must feel, President Daggett,

143
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:41,953
but things aren't
as bad as they seem.

144
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,639
l have this exciting new project
I'm working on...

145
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:44,669
Excuse me.

146
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,438
Mr. Hawk, I know we all want to give
full attention to your point of view.

147
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:51,919
I'm sure we can resolve

148
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,150
any minor differences
that happen to exist at the moment.

149
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,674
Wanna bet?

150
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,149
DAGGETT: Mr. Hawk, we know
the welfare of Medfield College

151
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,913
is very close to your heart.

152
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,678
As a civic leader...

153
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,193
Pearls!

154
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,032
Oh, I just love pearls.
How did you know?

155
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,509
I make it my business
to know, Mrs. Brainard.

156
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,955
And now, little something
to keep the chill off.

157
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,029
Oh!

158
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,235
Oh, you mustn't.
You really mustn't.

159
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,719
Oh!

160
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,712
Well, you don't think
it's a little bit too fussy, do you?

161
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,320
Like you've been wearing it
all your life, Mrs. Brainard.

162
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,719
To the manor born.

163
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,876
And here, the finishing touch.

164
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,559
(GASPS) How chic!

165
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,398
I knew you'd like them, Mrs. Brainard.
You look like a queen,

166
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,714
a regular queen.

167
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,034
-An empress.
-A goddess.

168
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,077
I do, don't I?

169
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,230
This, as you can see,
is a check for one million dollars

170
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,719
made out to
the Professor and yourself.

171
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,836
One million dollars!
Oh, but, Mr. Hurley, whatever for?

172
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,959
For a kind word, Mrs. Brainard.
Only a kind word.

173
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,596
You know, in a business deal,
the right word from the little woman...

174
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,751
I'm a great believer
in the power of a woman.

175
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,474
-How true.
-You really got something, Mr. Hurley.

176
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,275
Well, I don't know what Ned's
going to say about all this.

177
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,316
For a space-age scientist,
he's a little bit old-fa...

178
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,989
Yoo-hoo, Ned. Guess who?

179
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,515
Betsy!

180
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,192
Professor Brainard, my name is Hurley.

181
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,912
I've spoken to you on the phone,
from New York.

182
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,077
-What I'd like to do...
-Betsy, what is all this

183
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,031
the dogs and that coat?
Please take it off.

184
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,314
We can't afford that.

185
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,436
Now why don't we let
the little lady enjoy herself?

186
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,239
Professor, I'd like to talk
some business with you.

187
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,510
I hope you won't think
I'm presumptuous going ahead like this.

188
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,959
Mr. Hurley is a live wire.

189
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,230
He likes to act
while other people are still talking.

190
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,437
Just a minute.
Who are all these people around here?

191
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,109
All part of your company,
Flubber Enterprises.

192
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,634
"Flubber Enterprises?"

193
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,796
Just a cozy little company
we're putting together,

194
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,068
you and l, to make things
out of Flubber.

195
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,677
Professor, when you invented this stuff,
I don't think you dreamed what you had.

196
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,399
It'll touch the lives of every man, woman
and child in the world.

197
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,152
Just like Edison and the electric light.

198
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,389
Now wait, I hardly consider myself in
the same class with Mr. Edison.

199
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,799
Don't be so modest, Professor.

200
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,677
That's your trouble.
That's where I come in.

201
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,752
Now, I've worked up a few product sells
here just to give you an idea.

202
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,032
"Flubbermint gum,
it chews while you snooze."

203
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,597
"Flubberin, bounces away pain
again and again."

204
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,677
"Flub away the flab with
the scientific Flubbercycle."

205
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,912
"You'll wonder where your dentist went

206
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,630
"when you brush your teeth with
Flubberdent with Hexoflubberene."

207
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,157
And now I've had our agency boys
work up a little TV campaign.

208
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,357
Show people what
Flubber can do for them.

209
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,668
Hit them where they live.

210
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,034
They'll wonder
how they got along without it.

211
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,236
Now I don't want you to get
the feeling that we're rushing you.

212
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,589
But the thing is...

213
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,830
-Howie, roll the film.
-Guess what this is?

214
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,272
A million dollars!

215
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:50,952
-Quiet, Professor.
-But, Betsy...

216
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,794
(FAN FARE MUSIC PLAYING)

217
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,910
Hi there. Rex Williams here.

218
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,514
You know, my friends, down
through the corridors of time,

219
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,319
as mankind has emerged
from the Dark Ages,

220
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,670
toiling, ever striving upward,
there have been turning points,

221
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:10,714
inspirational milestones, and we
remember the great names of science.

222
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,280
Newton and the law of gravity.

223
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,400
Watt and the steam engine.

224
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,999
(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWING)

225
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,909
Edison and the electric light.

226
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,151
And, my friends,

227
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,198
Brainard and Flubber.

228
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,878
Yes, ladies and gentlemen,

229
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,393
Flubber.

230
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,756
For it was not too long ago,
in a small American city,

231
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,710
that the discovery of Flubber
burst upon a waiting world.

232
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,232
That was the beginning.

233
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:49,189
From those first crude
basketball shoes came more shoes,

234
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,110
shoes for people in every walk of life.

235
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,871
But it was not to stop there.

236
00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,597
True, now man had lifted
himself up by his own boot straps.

237
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,559
He could walk with his head
above the crowd.

238
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,479
But this was only the springboard,

239
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,512
not only to a vast new line of products,

240
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,831
but to a happier, safer way of life.

241
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,398
ANNOUNCER: Friends,
is your home a booby trap

242
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,954
just waiting to snare you the
moment you set foot in it?

243
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,758
I'm home, dear.

244
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:21,789
(YELLS)

245
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,239
(GASPS)

246
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:29,276
Is your kitchen a savage jungle
teeming with perils and pitfalls?

247
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,635
Dear, where's the first-aid kit!

248
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,794
Stop clowning, George.
You'll frighten the baby!

249
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,271
In short, is your family accident prone?

250
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:43,714
Then, friends, the time has
come to flubberize your home.

251
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,118
Transform it from a booby trap
into a love nest.

252
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,993
Make it safe for you
and your loved ones.

253
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:55,870
Yes, flubberize your home
with hazard-free flubberoleum floors.

254
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,950
Flubberoleum, in 16
beautiful decorator colors.

255
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:05,154
The foamiest, friendliest floor that ever
fondled your family's feet.

256
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,389
I'm home, darling.

257
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,152
Hi.

258
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,958
-Darling!
-Sweetheart!

259
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,669
(HUMMING)

260
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,833
-Oh!
-I got him! Whee!

261
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,354
(BABY LAUGHING)

262
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,438
(BABY COOING)

263
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,355
Yes, folks, you'd coo too...

264
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,279
If you belonged
to this happy Flubber family,

265
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,715
the family who can say proudly...

266
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,837
They live in the house
with the flubberoleum floors.

267
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:43,036
(BABY BABBLING)

268
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:48,709
That's just the start.

269
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,349
There are hundreds of products
we haven't even thought of yet.

270
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,356
I'm very impressed, Mr. Hurley, but...

271
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,874
Fine. Now if you'll just
sign this letter of agreement.

272
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,395
That million-dollar check
is the evidence of our good faith.

273
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,040
Well, there's just one little hitch.
l have a prior commitment.

274
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,471
A prior commitment? With who?

275
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,788
The government.

276
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,036
-Our government?
-That's right.

277
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,519
You just said the magic word.

278
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,599
All right, boys, pack up the gear.
Let's get out of here. The party's over.

279
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,438
I can't tell you how badly
I feel, Mr. Hurley.

280
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,272
I do have another idea you might be...

281
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,439
-Forget it.
-You've hurt Mr. Hurley very deeply.

282
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,034
-Oh! Oh!
-He is terribly disappointed in you, sir.

283
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,437
-Now just a minute. This is my dress.
-Oh! I beg your pardon.

284
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,028
If you'd just let me show you some of
the plans l have in my lab...

285
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,071
-Mrs. Brainard, the check, please.
-Oh, please.

286
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,839
Do I have to give this back?

287
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,239
If you don't mind.

288
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,719
-No.
-Betsy, give Mr. Hurley back his check.

289
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,354
I won't!

290
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,555
Betsy!

291
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,871
This isn't like you.
Now give him his check.

292
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,560
-No!
-Betsy, give me that check.

293
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,274
Betsy.

294
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,399
Give it to me.

295
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,953
Thank you.

296
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,598
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

297
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,518
I just lost my head for a moment.

298
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,476
But when you've been fighting
with the grocer all month

299
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,596
and you find a million dollars
in your hand...

300
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,316
I suppose this half isn't any good?

301
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,638
Oh, very nice. Beautiful quality.

302
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,591
-Professor Brainard?
-Yes?

303
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,148
How do you do? My name is Harker.
I'm from Washington.

304
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,715
From Washington?

305
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,233
Well, am I glad to see you.
Come right in.

306
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,309
Thank you.

307
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,549
Darling, wonderful news.

308
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,312
This is Mr. Harker.
He's here from Washington already.

309
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,517
How perfectly marvelous.
How do you do?

310
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,676
How do you do?
It's very nice to know you, Mrs. Brainard.

311
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:58,994
May I take your hat and coat,
Mr. Harker?

312
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,069
Oh. Thank you.

313
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,720
You and your discovery have certainly
created quite a stir

314
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,677
down in our nation's capital.

315
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,320
-And you've come about the payments?
-You betcha.

316
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,879
You're quite a prize, you know.

317
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,668
The boys in my department drew
straws to see who'd get ya.

318
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,676
-I'm happy to say I won.
-Well, thank you.

319
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,914
Now the thing is, Mr. Harker,

320
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,911
we want most of this money
to go to Medfield College.

321
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,555
Oh, but first, of course, we'd like
to pinch off just a tiny bit for ourselves.

322
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,797
Just enough to take care
of the household bills

323
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,717
that have been stacking up for months.

324
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,677
-All right, dear?
-Whatever you say, darling.

325
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,188
I'm afraid you folks don't understand.

326
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,151
I'm from the Internal Revenue Service.

327
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,513
Well, if there's one thing we could use
around here, it's a little revenue.

328
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,278
Yes, we certainly...

329
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,677
lnternal revenue?

330
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,434
Your tax bill for the first three quarters
of the current year.

331
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:57,431
The figure includes delinquent penalties
of $12,895 at five percent

332
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:58,879
for the first two quarters.

333
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,394
All based on an estimate of
projected earnings, of course.

334
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,593
$656,000?

335
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,075
Oh, I realize that the estimate is low,

336
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,355
considering the staggering
potential of Flubber.

337
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,399
But Uncle Sam is willing
to be understanding

338
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,317
until you get
your financial house in order.

339
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,276
But, Mr. Harker,
we don't have 656 cents.

340
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,953
You don't say?

341
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,195
Let me explain, Mr. Harker.

342
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,755
You see, I turned my discovery
over to those people at the Pentagon.

343
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,070
Now they put a top-secret
classification on it.

344
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,395
I'm not even supposed
to talk to anybody about it.

345
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,832
Yes. I know those boys
at the Pentagon.

346
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,993
I used to review some of the General's
personal tax returns. A million laughs.

347
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,430
Well, then you do understand.

348
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,279
Certainly.

349
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,309
(BUZZER RINGING)

350
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,594
Excuse me.

351
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,433
Now if you'll just give me a check for
the amount on this paper here, please.

352
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,189
But how can I pay you
if nobody pays me?

353
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,590
Well, I regret to say, Professor,
that's your problem.

354
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,192
We've been counting on you.
We trusted you.

355
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,191
Uncle Sam needs the money.

356
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,556
You don't build those rockets to
the moon with green stamps, you know.

357
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,757
Excuse me, dear.
Joey's here to collect for the paper.

358
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,552
-Do you have half a dollar?
-I don't think so.

359
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,279
Now you estimated your income
for the current year at a million dollars.

360
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,355
Is this true?

361
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,391
Well, that was just a wild guess,
Mr. Harker.

362
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,959
We thought the money was going
to come rolling in

363
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,359
from all directions, millions!

364
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,000
We wouldn't be able to count it all.
There's ten cents.

365
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,035
There's another dime. That's twenty.
We'll have to owe him the rest.

366
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,479
He wants his money.

367
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,072
But you did make this estimate
based on

368
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,151
this tidal wave of money
that you speak about.

369
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,948
That's right. There's another dime.
That's all I've got.

370
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,471
There's not another cent
in the whole house.

371
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:40,749
You see, essentially, Professor,
we have a trusting nature.

372
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,432
When a taxpayer makes an estimate,

373
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,391
we believe him,
we're happy for him.

374
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,431
We're rooting for him all the way.

375
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,750
Well, that's very kind of you, Mr. Harker.

376
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,910
Oh, Ned, I cleaned all
the loose change out of there.

377
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,231
Oh. Well, we should
have company over more often.

378
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,440
But Uncle Sam has to run
his store on current income

379
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,714
just like everyone else.

380
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,356
When the money he's
counting on doesn't come in,

381
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,429
he's very sad.

382
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,671
Now, in this case, the sadness
is represented by

383
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,190
a delinquent penalty of $12,895.

384
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,914
I found another dime.
We're still a dime light.

385
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,519
Then I'll just have to go
and talk to him.

386
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,709
Uh, Professor...

387
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,828
(CLEARS THROAT)
May I?

388
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,548
Thank you, Mr. Harker.

389
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,674
Thank you.

390
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,915
Now, in addition
to the six percent penalty,

391
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,152
in the case of willful failure
to pay your estimated tax,

392
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,191
there's a $10,000 fine...

393
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,595
Or imprisonment.

394
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,388
Thank you, Mrs. Brainard.
I'll give you your receipt.

395
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,951
Professor, what is, uh,
the little lad's name?

396
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,396
Uh, Joey Marriano.

397
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,713
And how many customers
would you say he has on his route?

398
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,394
-Oh, I'd say around 30.
-Wait a minute.

399
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,392
What are you doing with that
information about little Joey?

400
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,153
Uh, just a reminder to myself
to put a spot-check on the lad.

401
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,559
A small thing, you might say,

402
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,677
but you'd be surprised how much
unreported income turns up this way.

403
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,556
But Joey's only seven years old.

404
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,797
You wouldn't take money from a child.

405
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,551
(LAUGHING)

406
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,393
You know, Professor,

407
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,510
your wife has a
refreshing sense of humor.

408
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,029
We don't run into it often
in our line of work, and that's a fact.

409
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,711
You ought to be ashamed.

410
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,399
Ah-ah-ah-ah. Sticks and stones, etc.

411
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,592
We do our part to keep the wheels
of democracy rolling.

412
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,150
Warriors unsung,
unknown, misunderstood.

413
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,398
If need be, I imagine you'd
put your own mother in jail.

414
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,070
Funny you should mention that
about Mom.

415
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:36,749
A little matter of some unreported
income from jams and jellies.

416
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,829
We nailed her dead to rights.

417
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,594
Well, I won't bore you with shop talk.

418
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,515
Uh, one last little
parting thought, Professor.

419
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,033
Should Uncle Sam really want
to throw the book at you,

420
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:53,715
we have some lovely punitive
laws under section 7203,

421
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:58,590
and section 6653, paragraph b,
is a real Jim-Dandy.

422
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,313
Good day, sir, and a pleasant day
to you, Mrs. Brainard.

423
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,631
Oh, Ned.

424
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,995
I forgot to kiss you
when I came home.

425
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,230
I missed you.

426
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,151
I missed you, too.

427
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,629
You know all I could think about

428
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,109
while I was there in Washington?

429
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,388
What?

430
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,869
I just couldn't help feeling
sorry for all those people.

431
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,678
They have their problems,
too, you know.

432
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,796
Now, you take that income tax man.

433
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,559
Ned Brainard, don't you dare,

434
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,358
dare try to straighten out
the government.

435
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,431
We have our own troubles, right here.

436
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,675
Sweetheart, l was only thinking
about the welfare of our country.

437
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,870
Well, this is part of the country, isn't it?

438
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,758
This house is
on United States territory.

439
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,193
We're citizens.

440
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,915
Now look, I don't want
to appear selfish, but just once,

441
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,150
can't we think about ourselves?

442
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,952
Betsy, I don't blame you
for feeling the way you do,

443
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,116
but please believe me,
everything's going to work out all right.

444
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,235
But, Ned!

445
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:54,309
Now sit down, and hold your
breath.

446
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,635
l have something of
great importance to tell you.

447
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:57,669
Oh?

448
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,751
I wasn't going to tell you
till I had it completely worked out,

449
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,876
but if I keep it to myself any longer,
I'm going to bust.

450
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,958
Betsy, this is going
to bowl you over.

451
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,031
I think I've managed
to get hold of the weather.

452
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:11,192
What does that mean, you
"got hold of the weather"?

453
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,033
What it means, Mrs. Brainard,
is that flubber was only the key

454
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,192
that unlocked a great storehouse
of cosmic forces.

455
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,312
Out in that humble garage,
from the residue of flubber,

456
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,873
I found a gas.

457
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:26,038
I call it "flubber gas,"
and l have reason to believe
that with this flubber gas,

458
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,350
I can activate a change
in the molecular balance

459
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,719
of the atmosphere.

460
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,558
It could even trigger off the energies

461
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,198
which give us rain, snow, sleet,

462
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,038
electrical storms, blue skies,
sunshine,

463
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,230
whatever, wherever we choose.

464
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,157
Do you realize
what that would mean, Betsy?

465
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,559
It would mean that,
for the first time,

466
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,437
weather would become
the slave of man,

467
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,919
rather than his master.

468
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,911
It could change
the future of the whole world,

469
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,070
the history of mankind itself.

470
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:50,917
That's very nice, dear.

471
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,554
Very nice?
Betsy, this is the greatest...

472
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,354
Ned, why do you always have to
do something so world-shattering?

473
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:58,674
Can't it be something modest

474
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,035
that would bring
just a few dollars into this house?

475
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,594
Like goop that would keep
fingernails from breaking?

476
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,752
Or trash can lids that would actually
fit the top of trash cans!

477
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,432
Trash cans?

478
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,835
Or some little machine
that pays the grocer

479
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,399
and the dry cleaner
at the end of every month.

480
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,273
I'd say I could use
a little machine like that right now!

481
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,554
Betsy, please be serious.

482
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,512
Do you realize what a wonderful age
we are living in today?

483
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,750
Anything can happen.
Anything!

484
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,796
Forty years ago,
even thirty years ago,

485
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,871
if! said I'd found a
way to control weather,

486
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,949
no one would've listened,

487
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,393
but today,
do you know what they'd say?

488
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,839
I know what I would say.

489
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,037
I'd say I think the first impression that
I ever had of you was right.

490
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,155
What was that?

491
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,434
I thought you were nuts!

492
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,594
Look. We've got this big
football game with Rutland

493
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,073
-next Saturday, right?
-Right.

494
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,758
And they're practically
national champs, right?

495
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,109
-Right.
-Suppose we beat Rutland on Saturday.

496
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,390
Even my own father
couldn't close a college

497
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,038
that had just clobbered
the national champs, could he?

498
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,190
Ah, Biff,
how can we beat Rutland?

499
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:55,719
Our team is hardly
strong enough

500
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,119
to get itself dressed in the morning.

501
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,639
What do you think the suit is for?

502
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,233
Science in action, boy.

503
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,673
I haven't been hangin'
around professor Brainard

504
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:02,949
all semester just for kicks, you know.

505
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,753
What's this thing supposed to do?

506
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,478
Knute Rockne put
new ideas into football.

507
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,317
Pop Warner put new ideas
into football.

508
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,278
And now, Alonzo Hawk Jr.
is gonna do his part.

509
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:13,719
-How does that feel?
-Hi, Biff.

510
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:14,989
Oh, hi, Prof.

511
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,315
Good. You've got the flubber
gas all hooked up, huh?

512
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,954
Just like you asked me to, sir.
Oh, by the way, Professor,

513
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,228
I'd like you
to meet my assistant.

514
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:22,514
This is Humphrey Hacker.

515
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,790
Oh. Glad to know ya, Humphrey.

516
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,796
-Hi there.
-He wants to become a scientist.

517
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:27,909
Oh, not exactly.

518
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,673
What I'm really interested in
is animal husbandry.

519
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,314
Oh, Humph, I wouldn't let you
throw your life on a bunch of cows.

520
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,352
Sir, science needs brilliant
young minds like Humphrey.

521
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,992
Besides, I needed a volunteer.

522
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,991
Volunteer? For what?

523
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,433
Sir, I hope you won't mind,

524
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,476
but I'd like very much to
borrow a little flubber gas.

525
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,397
You see, we've got
this football suit here, that...

526
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,509
Oh, so that's what it is.

527
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,360
Yes, sir.
Humphrey, come on, demonstrate.

528
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,671
When we get the flubber gas,
it would come through feed tube A

529
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,399
and inflate
shoulder pad B.

530
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,876
Then it would come through
feed tube C

531
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,191
and inflate shoulder pad D
and then the leg pads, and so forth.

532
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,033
There's only thing, Biff.

533
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,994
Flubber gas is extremely violent,
exceptionally powerful.

534
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,554
I don't know how much protection
those pads are going to give you.

535
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,994
Protection, sir? Oh, we're not
thinking about protection.

536
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,519
We're thinking about
offensive power!

537
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,356
Well, look. Just imagine, sir.
The teams line up. The ball is snapped.

538
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,038
I take the ball, and l slam it into
Humphrey's stomach.

539
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,235
-Bam!
-Oof!

540
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,872
Now a whole wave
of those big Rutland gorillas

541
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,353
comes pouring in to smash him.

542
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,356
Fearlessly, Humphrey
lowers his head

543
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,879
and he charges right into 'em.

544
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,188
The flubber gas reacts...
Zam!

545
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,514
Wham! Kersplunch!

546
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,750
Rutland linemen fall like
ten pins in every direction!

547
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,030
Humphrey staggers,
but he keeps running.

548
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,150
The Rutland secondary
comes in just to smash him!

549
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,719
Boom! Pow!
Pow!

550
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,233
Like water off a duck's back,
they bounce.

551
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,232
Humphrey staggers,
but he keeps on running,

552
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:41,514
and he's to the 30.

553
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,433
He's to the 20, the 10!
He's over for a touchdown!

554
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,794
Fans are going wild!

555
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,718
Yeah, Humphrey!
Yeah, Medfield! Yeah!

556
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:49,749
Yeah!

557
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,913
Whaddya think, sir?

558
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,238
Well, if first impressions
mean anything, I, uh...

559
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:57,078
I think you're slightly nuts.

560
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,112
-Sir?
-I'm sorry, Biff.

561
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,236
l was thinking of something
someone very near and dear

562
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,429
just said to me.

563
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,159
Don't let me discourage you.
You go right ahead.

564
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,232
Oh, thank you, sir. We'll go
on a crash program right now.

565
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,395
Pick it up, Humph.

566
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,955
We're gonna eat and sleep this thing
24 hours a day till we get it whipped.

567
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:13,917
-Let me know if I can help you.
-Thank you, sir.

568
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,270
Meantime, I'm on a little trash can...
I mean, crash program of my own.

569
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,113
Project weather gun.

570
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,388
Well, here goes.

571
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,835
First, we connect the circuit
with the weather gun.

572
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,792
And we fill the circuit
with flubber gas.

573
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,674
(HISSING)

574
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,751
Then we activate the pump...

575
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,560
So the gas flows through
the gun at constant pressure.

576
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,308
Now the flubber gas is violent,
but we need even more violence,

577
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,311
so we stimulate it electronically.

578
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:05,989
Yeah.

579
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,239
Now, let's see what we've got.

580
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,875
Hmm. Now let's see.

581
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,278
You know, Biff, this stuff
is labeled "dangerous."

582
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,553
Oh, now, Humph boy.

583
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,677
Look, would I get you into a situation
unless I knew exactly what I was doing?

584
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:32,514
Yeah.

585
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,471
That should do it.
That should do it.

586
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,314
(LAUGHING)
I've never seen them so worked up.

587
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,391
When I bombard a cloud
with a beam like this,

588
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,038
it just has to lead to clustering.

589
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,313
In turn, leading to a transfer
of particle momentum

590
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,435
and the inevitable consequence,
precipitation. Rain all over the place.

591
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:55,994
Now, for a cloud.

592
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,598
Not a cloud in the sky.

593
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,476
Not one single cloud.

594
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,871
Wouldn't ya know it?

595
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,120
Well, what have we here?

596
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,312
Range, about 30 feet.

597
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,553
Switch on.

598
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,360
Ready. Aim.

599
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,628
Fire.

600
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,712
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)

601
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,918
(THUNDERING)

602
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:07,789
(BARKS)

603
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,679
It works!

604
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,958
Charlie Brainard!

605
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,880
Betsy. Betsy.
I did it! I did it!

606
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,033
-You did?
-That's right, sweetheart.

607
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,348
And that's only the beginning.

608
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,317
The next time, I'm going
to flood the whole county.

609
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,588
It's a result of my fooling around

610
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,796
with the molecular
configuration of flubber gas.

611
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,434
I'll get a mop and clean it up.

612
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:02,873
Oh, never mind.

613
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,279
Ned, I've had enough
for one day.

614
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,515
All I ask of you
is to get dressed for dinner.

615
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,113
Company will be here at seven o' clock.

616
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,991
Whatever you say, dear.
(CHUCKLES)

617
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:15,155
J‘ Though April showers may come
your way they bring the flowers J‘

618
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,757
Well, who's going to be here
for dinner, Betsy?

619
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,114
Oh, didn't I tell you, dear?

620
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,519
No, I don't think you did.

621
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,713
Who's going to be here?

622
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,953
Now, I don't want you to be upset.

623
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,871
Betsy, who's coming to dinner?

624
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,672
If there's one thing
I'm certain you're not,

625
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,159
it's narrow-minded.

626
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,910
Betsy, I would like to know
who's coming to dinner.

627
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,355
It isn't as though he were
coming all by himself.

628
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,715
Besides, he was such a good
sport about our getting married.

629
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:41,869
You don't mean...

630
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,433
I don't see one single reason

631
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,033
why we can't
all be good friends.

632
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,399
We're adults, you know, not children.

633
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,431
You don't for one single minute mean...

634
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,080
That dear, sweet, kind, thoughtful...

635
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,549
Double-crossing, miserable,
four-flushing snake...

636
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,431
BOTH: Shelby Ashton!

637
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,837
Betsy, I think you'll agree
that I'm a very patient man.

638
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,759
But old flame or not,

639
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,594
if that no-good rat sets one grubby paw
inside this house, I'll...

640
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,035
Ned, if you raise one hand...

641
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,150
(DOOR BUZZER)

642
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,315
I'll get it.

643
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,909
Nuzzie! Oh.

644
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,195
Evening, Professor. Hello, Betsy dear.
It's wonderful to...

645
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,229
Who is that?

646
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,593
As soon as they unglue
themselves,

647
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,790
I'd like you to meet
an old friend of Ned's.

648
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,230
-Desiree de la Roche.
-Now wait a minute. I don't know any...

649
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,234
Holy cats!
It's Mary Lee Spooner!

650
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,679
Of course it is, Nuzzie darling.

651
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:42,829
I'll be darned.

652
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,957
I knew you were vague, lover,
but I didn't think you were that vague.

653
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,758
I'll be doggone.

654
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,553
Betsy, do you know who this is?

655
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,591
No, "Nuzzie," who is it?

656
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,079
It's Mary Lee Spooner.

657
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,838
You said that before.

658
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:56,911
Somehow or another,
I didn't get much out of it.

659
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,957
You must've heard me
talk about her.

660
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,871
Mary Lee and I
used to go together, didn't we?

661
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,791
It was long before I met you, Betsy.

662
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,599
By gosh, Mary Lee, you've changed.

663
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,473
What's all this
Desiree de la whatever it is?

664
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,120
Well, I've been married here
and there, and, uh,

665
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,839
I picked up a name or two
since I left Medfield.

666
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:14,714
And I've just been living
in Paris all this time.

667
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:15,789
Pans,huh?

668
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:16,949
Didn't you know that?

669
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,638
I didn't know that.
I wondered what happened to ya.

670
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,480
Gosh, we used to have the times,
didn't we, Mary Lee?

671
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,755
Betsy, there was one time
when Mary Lee and l...

672
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,955
Well, I guess
that's all water under the bridge, huh?

673
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,478
Why don't we go in the living room
and try to make ourselves comfortable?

674
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,039
Yes, let's.

675
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,830
Betsy, why didn't you
tell me there was a surprise for dinner?

676
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,673
Well, I hadn't exactly
planned it this way.

677
00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:42,678
Well, uh, Desiree was back in town,
and I said to myself,

678
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,990
"Shelby, how about
a grand reunion?"

679
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,717
As the poet said,
"Is not old wine the wholesomest,

680
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,995
"old pippins the most toothsome?

681
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,996
"Old wood burns brightest,

682
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,190
"and old friends are surely the best."

683
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,153
A lovely thought.

684
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,999
Mmm, yes.
That's tres continental.

685
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,755
It's so interesting seeing
the kind of girl Ned married.

686
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,436
Why, you and l aren't
the same type at all.

687
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,556
Oh, what type would you
say I am, Desiree?

688
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:12,949
WeII...

689
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,190
A funny thing happened
out in the lab today...

690
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,034
We're so different, you and I.
I'm the gay, irrepressible madcap

691
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,712
flitting from flower to flower,

692
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,395
and you're the nice,
sensible little homemaker.

693
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,916
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
N'est—ce pas?

694
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,709
The wonderful thing about Betsy is,
she combines beauty with brains.

695
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,360
-Well, I'll drink to that.
-DESIREE: So will I.

696
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,313
I think Betsy's sweet.

697
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,868
I think she's just as sweet
as she can be.

698
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,636
You know, I don't think you
realize how lucky you are.

699
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,795
I had to go through three marriages
before I realized

700
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,314
that Ned was the kind of man
l was looking for all along.

701
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:51,795
Oh, is that so?

702
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,753
Sometimes I get all choked up inside
thinking of it.

703
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,031
Imagine going all the way
to the other side of the world

704
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,753
when the bluebird of happiness
was here all along.

705
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,671
Oh, I'm sorry, Desiree.

706
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,075
Still, it's nice to know
I've done the right thing.

707
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:06,469
Yes.

708
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:10,036
Poor, brave child.
I wish things were going better for her.

709
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:11,669
What do you mean?

710
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,593
Come now, Brainard.
There's no reason to pretend with us.

711
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,592
Everyone knows Medfield College
is about to go down the drain.

712
00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:18,755
Where does that leave you?

713
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:19,829
What's it to you?

714
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,478
It so happens I have just been made

715
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,755
Head of the English department
of Rutland College.

716
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,473
It's a very complex and demanding job.

717
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,750
I'd like to ask Betsy
to become my assistant.

718
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:32,232
That's terribly kind of you,
and very flattering.

719
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:33,508
Well, you can just forget it.

720
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,238
Now, let's have no foolish pride.

721
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,316
-I said let's forget it.
-Just a minute, Ned.

722
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,433
If you don't mind, I'd like
a chance to express myself.

723
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,869
Another thing, old man, I can
probably use my influence

724
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,110
to get you some instructor's job.

725
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,912
Don't bother to do me any favors.

726
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,350
Ned I didn't say l was going
to take the position. All I said was...

727
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,476
Betsy, no wife of mine
is going to work,

728
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,829
not as long as l have
a spark of life left in my body.

729
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,956
That is an absurdly
old-fashioned attitude.

730
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,513
Well that's what I like about Nuzzie.

731
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,949
I just adore old-fashioned men.

732
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,914
Could I have an onion instead
of an olive this time?

733
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,552
You'll find some
in the icebox.

734
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,756
-Excuse me.
-Oh.

735
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,389
You're so much better for him
than I am.

736
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,710
If I'd married him,
I would have just spoiled him rotten.

737
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,031
You shouldn't
take it this way, Brainard.

738
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,758
There's nothing to be
ashamed of.

739
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,319
After all, what are friends for?

740
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,476
Look, just where do you get
the idea that we're supposed to be

741
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:24,873
starving to death around here?

742
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,039
Okay, so the flubber deal
has stalled in Washington temporarily,

743
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,034
but I've got something going
on in that garage out there...

744
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,635
Well, it can make a man
wealthy a dozen times over.

745
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,235
Hold tight, Humph.
Here we go.

746
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:39,719
(GAS HISSING)

747
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:56,034
Biff! Biff!
Biff, help me!

748
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,514
Hang on, Humph.
Just a little trouble with the valve.

749
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:00,997
Please, Biff.
Get me outta here, Biff!

750
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,031
Biff! Come on.
Get me outta here!

751
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:04,595
I don't wish to pry,

752
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,752
but may I inquire what
this marvelous new discovery is?

753
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,429
It's a revolutionary concept
in weather control.

754
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:11,748
Weather control.

755
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,229
That's right. It'll effect
people all over the world.

756
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,399
And its commercial
possibilities are endless.

757
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,876
May I ask how it works?
Or is it still in the visionary stage?

758
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,837
It is not in the visionary stage.

759
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,711
l bombard the clouds
with a technique

760
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,791
I am not at the moment
at liberty to divulge.

761
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:28,676
-Oh, I see.
-(EXPLOSION)

762
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,152
Biff!

763
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,388
-Biff!
-(EXPLOSION)

764
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,672
Biff!

765
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,551
You bombard the clouds with people.
That is original thinking.

766
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,313
-Biff!
-(CRASHING)

767
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,037
Who's there?

768
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,196
Humphrey, are you all right?

769
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:58,117
Well, I don't know.

770
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,476
Who's there? Answer
or I'll blast you to ribbons.

771
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,554
It's all right, Mr. Hummel.
Nobody in here but us chickens.

772
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,431
(GUNSHOT)
-Oh!

773
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,591
(GUNSHOT)

774
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,353
-Dinner's ready when you are.
-(LAUGHING)

775
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,512
-Hi, Prof. How's it goin'?
-Fine. Fine.

776
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,716
You know, I found out
one thing yesterday.

777
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,314
Flubber gas has a certain
antagonizing effect on the atmosphere.

778
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,389
-Yeah?
-Yeah.

779
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,311
And today I'm really going to stir it up.

780
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,678
I'm looking for big game today.

781
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,151
Like that big, fat cloud out there.

782
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,476
Come on, Humph.
Let's get suited up.

783
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,351
You're not gonna shoot me
out the garage again?

784
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,192
Will you stop worrying so much?

785
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,115
Well, why couldn't you test
the suit with a chimpanzee?

786
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,469
Are you kidding?
Those animals cost money.

787
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:15,031
Now, let's see.
I'd say distance about three miles.

788
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,633
Might be a little far, but we'll take
a crack at it anyway, hey, Charlie?

789
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,829
Maybe give 'em a little rain over in
Lincoln County. They need it there too.

790
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:25,633
All right.

791
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:27,679
Switch on.

792
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,520
(CHUCKLES) Relax, Charlie.
You won't take the rap this time.

793
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,919
All right, here we go.

794
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,753
Ready. Aim.

795
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:38,669
Fire.

796
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,797
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)

797
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,750
J‘ It isn't raining rain
you know

798
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,195
J‘ It's raining flubber gas J‘

799
00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:59,549
(HUMMING)

800
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,589
Hmm. Smells like rain.
Better get my umbrella.

801
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,038
Nothing. (SIGHING)

802
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,997
All right.
We'll pour on a little more juice.

803
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,997
Now...

804
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,071
Come on now, cloud.

805
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,238
Cry a little.

806
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,710
Maybe we're going to have
a change in the weather, dear.

807
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,758
Yes. The barometer's real...

808
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,153
(CRASHING)

809
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,429
(GLASS SHATTERING)

810
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,553
Nothing, Charlie. Just nothing.

811
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:53,874
What have we got to lose?

812
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,990
Why don't we turn up full power
and see what happens?

813
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,751
Yeah. What have we got to lose?

814
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,158
-Well, you can't blame Betsy.
-Thank you, sir.

815
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:16,959
How would you feel having to live
in the same house with that nut?

816
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,116
(GLASS BREAKING)

817
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,835
Oh, no! No!

818
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,797
(GASPS)
(SHRIEKS)

819
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,312
(GLASS SHATTERING)

820
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,998
(ENGINE CRANKING)

821
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,908
-(ENGINE CRANKING)
-(GLASS BREAKING)

822
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,558
(MEOWING)

823
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,592
Well, we didn't get much rain
out of that one, did we, Charlie?

824
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,508
Well, here comes another one.

825
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,032
Oh, yes, such a lovely piece,
Mrs. Brainard.

826
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,674
I just don't see how you can
bring yourself to sell it.

827
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,712
Well, a little extra money
around the house comes in handy.

828
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,637
A professor's wife, you understand.

829
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:47,190
Yes, well, under the circumstances,
I think I can accommodate you.

830
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,949
There's 40, 60...

831
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,716
Broken windows?

832
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,109
No, I haven't seen anything
like that around here.

833
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,270
MAN: (ON RADIO) Just stay
on the ball out there.

834
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,078
Sure, Captain. Sure.

835
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:21,875
Hanson, Kelly! Somebody answer me!

836
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,959
Hanson! I hear water!

837
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,956
It's all right, Captain.
We're just gettin' the car washed.

838
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,320
-No, no, no! We don't pay off on that!
-(PHONES RINGING)

839
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,198
Nobody, but nobody,
puts anything over on Alonzo P. Hawk.

840
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:44,070
Quiet back there. I'm on the phone.
Read the small print!

841
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:45,918
Hold on.

842
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:50,228
Now look. If the glass broke,
you were probably negligent.

843
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,113
The Auld Lang Syne does not
pay off on negligence, friend.

844
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:55,116
And that goes for all of ya!

845
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,957
(PHONES RINGING)

846
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,276
-(RINGING CONTINUES)
-(GLASS BREAKING)

847
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,871
Well, nothing.

848
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,998
Absolutely nothing.

849
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,751
You can come out now, Charlie.

850
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,149
Well, Charlie, maybe I was wrong.

851
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,794
Maybe there was nothing
to the idea after all.

852
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,079
It won't be the first time
we've struck out, will it?

853
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,510
-Hey, where do we put this stuff?
-Our test site's over here.

854
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,830
You know, I sure appreciate
you guys helping us out.

855
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,030
What are we doing here?
What's the big secret?

856
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,917
You'll find out soon enough.

857
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,673
Or maybe the cloud was just
too far away, Charlie.

858
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,714
Rainmakers have always
run into that same old snag.

859
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,155
Clouds are either too far away
or no clouds at all.

860
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,959
If we could just have clouds when and
where we needed them, maybe...

861
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,555
Wait a minute, Charlie.

862
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,756
I made that little teakettle cloud rain by

863
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,717
bombarding it with a flubber gas beam,

864
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,396
and disorganizing the moisture pattern.

865
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,794
Would it be possible to make a cloud

866
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,432
by working in reverse?

867
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,191
Naturally, it couldn't be anything
as simple as just

868
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,396
reversing the polarity of the gas.

869
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:24,833
Or could it?

870
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,312
Could it, Charlie?

871
00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:29,958
Let's find out.

872
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,076
Now we'll reverse the polarity

873
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,272
and see what happens.

874
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,552
Oh, something's happening,
all right, Charlie.

875
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,797
Something's really happening.

876
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,590
And the n-402s don't even seem to care.

877
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,038
Now, let's see.

878
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,711
l reversed the polarity.

879
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,236
Now, this must have integrated
the vaporific forces

880
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,834
and promoted the coalescence
of the interatomic junctures.

881
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,237
(PHONE RINGING)

882
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,070
WOMAN: (ON PHONE) Nuzzie?
Is that you, darling?

883
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:12,515
Desiree here. Hello? Nuzzie?

884
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,598
(LOW-PITCHED VOICE) Hello, Desiree.

885
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,114
Poor lamb.

886
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,953
You sound as if you have a terrible cold.

887
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,191
Isn't that nice little wife
of yours taking proper care of you?

888
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:27,755
You know, overshoes
and all that sort of thing.

889
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,517
-What do you want, Desiree?
-Well, lover, I just wanted to be sure

890
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,433
you hadn't forgotten
our little get-together tomorrow.

891
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,590
(NORMAL VOICE) Get...
(LOW VOICE) Get-together?

892
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,950
Well, of course, dearest. We arranged it
when I saw you yesterday.

893
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,153
Oh, yes. Yesterday.

894
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,589
Well, tres bon, chéri.

895
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:48,428
And I'll see you around eightish?

896
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:50,919
Hugs and kisses.

897
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,112
Arrivederci.

898
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,119
Well, that puts the tin hat on it!

899
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,595
DP, P, plus, minus and G.

900
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,790
GT, DH.

901
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,830
(MUTTERING)

902
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:28,473
(BARKS)

903
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,996
(GROWLS)

904
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,798
Great jumping Jupiter Pluvius!
We've made our own cloud!

905
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,559
And it's raining! It's raining!

906
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,234
It's raining! Charlie, it's raining!

907
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,278
And it's our rain, Charlie,
made from our own cloud!

908
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,271
Taste it. Isn't it wonderful?

909
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,193
(LAUGHING) Oh, my notes.
I don't want to lose them.

910
00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:14,437
(LAUGHING) Now I know how
those Texas oil fellas feel

911
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,238
when a gusher comes in.

912
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,876
Isn't it wonderful, Charlie?

913
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:21,914
Where's my pen?

914
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:25,635
It's really comin' down.

915
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,197
Hey, come on, Biff. What gives?
You know, this isn't the first time

916
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,959
we've been roped in on some
half-baked idea of yours.

917
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,396
You know, it wasn't my idea entirely.
The professor's in on this too.

918
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,595
-The prof is?
-Just as good as.

919
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:37,954
He checked the whole thing out with me.

920
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:41,271
Why didn't you say so? That's different.
'Cause if the prof says it's okay...

921
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,590
J‘ Raining you know it's raining J‘

922
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,309
Betsy!

923
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:48,639
Betsy!

924
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:57,235
Betsy! Betsy, I made a cloud,
and I made it rain.

925
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,589
It's bad luck to open
an umbrella in the house.

926
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,433
"How," you say, "did you make
this cloud, you genius you?"

927
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,596
And I say, "Just the way nature
herself does it,

928
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,272
"out of the moisture
in the air around us."

929
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,477
Of course, it's been going on right under
our noses for thousands of years,

930
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,312
but the question was,
how does she do it? Well...

931
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,436
Speaking of things going on
under our noses,

932
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,277
have you been seeing
Desiree de la Roche?

933
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,555
I may have bumped into her
a couple of times.

934
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:18,669
She phoned a while ago,

935
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:21,354
mentioned something about
a little get-together tomorrow night.

936
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,113
-Said that you'd know all about it.
-Said I'd know all about it?

937
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,873
Why, I haven't the... Wait a minute.
There was some talk about a party.

938
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,030
-I think it was for Halloween.
-Ha!

939
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,634
l was on my way home from class, and
she just happened to be driving by...

940
00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:34,075
Women like Desiree never
happen to do anything.

941
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:35,235
What?

942
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:38,511
If I wasn't such a sweet,
innocent-minded little wife,

943
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:41,797
I'd say that woman was trying
to get her hooks into you again.

944
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,757
Now, Betsy, that isn't worthy of you.

945
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:47,110
Mary Lee... I mean, Desiree,
just isn't that kind of a girl.

946
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:51,990
Do me a personal favor and
stop calling that woman a girl!

947
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,072
Well, anyway, underneath all that
glamour and gaiety and intelligence

948
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,076
is really a simple, kind-hearted person.

949
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:58,997
You bet.

950
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,112
Betsy, I hate to say this,
but I've noticed a change in you lately.

951
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,788
It all seemed to start the night that
sneak Shelby Ashton

952
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,916
came over and here offered you that job.

953
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,436
I told you I didn't want that job,
but I'm beginning to change my mind.

954
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,199
Betsy, I'm not a fussy man, but when
that Ashton comes over here

955
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,675
and starts buttering you up
with that guff about "beauty plus brains".

956
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:16,789
Oh!

957
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,230
And as far as you're concerned,
there's not a word of truth in it, right?

958
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,709
I didn't say that,
but anybody that would listen to

959
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:24,870
what that pretentious
pipsqueak has to say...

960
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,996
Oh, Ned, let's not quarrel.

961
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,554
-Betsy, are you going somewhere?
-Yes, I am, Ned.

962
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,552
You see, I have a problem.
I love you.

963
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,399
If it weren't for that,
I'd know exactly what to do.

964
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:38,552
Betsy, you're not leaving!

965
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,313
Yes, I'm going somewhere
where I can think clearly.

966
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,272
-Think clearly? About what?
-About you and Desiree.

967
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,272
Desiree doesn't mean anything to me,
Betsy. I don't mean anything to her.

968
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,078
Oh, really? Well, you should've
heard her on the phone

969
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:50,673
when she thought
she was talking to you.

970
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:54,673
Everything was "darling," "sweetie,"
"lover," "chéri," "hugs and kisses"!

971
00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:57,280
But, Betsy, that's just her way.
She's a very outgoing personality.

972
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,796
Well, say good-bye to another
outgoing personality.

973
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:02,518
Betsy, you're not leaving this house!

974
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:03,868
Ned, I'm going to the Daggetts'
for a few days.

975
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:04,949
Betsy.

976
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:09,358
I don't know when and if I'll be back.
I just have to think calmly and logically.

977
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,313
Betsy, you can't go anyplace.
What did you do to our car?

978
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,033
I didn't do anything to it.
And don't change the subject.

979
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,439
I'm going to the Daggetts'.

980
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,078
Please, Betsy, can't we reason this out?

981
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,958
No, because a strange thing
has happened to me.

982
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,600
Desiree de la Roche may or may not be
the sweetest girl in the world,

983
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,352
but I'll tell you one thing,

984
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,871
every time I hear her name I get
awfully, awfully, awfully, awfully angry.

985
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,230
But, Betsy, you're not
being very logical about this.

986
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,878
Hey, what I don't get is,
how come no pads behind Humphrey?

987
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,309
Humph doesn't need 'em.
He'll come smashing into you,

988
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:45,753
you guys'll go bouncing back,

989
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,070
and ol' Humph is gonna keep
right on goin', right, Humph?

990
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,639
-I guess so.
-Okay, Humph, it's your neck.

991
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:52,948
Ready, you guys?

992
00:52:54,240 --> 00:52:56,800
Ready, humph? One, two, hike!

993
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:57,915
Oof!

994
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,759
(CRASHING)

995
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,438
(CLUCKING)

996
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,479
Who's in there?
Answer or I'll blast ya!

997
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,795
(CLUCKING)

998
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,078
That's it. I've had it. I quit.

999
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,714
Look, after all you've been through,
you're not gonna turn chicken.

1000
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,233
I already did.

1001
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:45,193
(PHONE RINGING)

1002
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,954
You'd better answer it, Mrs. Daggett.

1003
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:56,670
That poor man has phoned a half-dozen
times today. I'm tired of stalling him.

1004
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,990
What's the matter? Afraid to talk to him?

1005
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,956
Why doesn't somebody pick up
that phone? Or is it contaminated?

1006
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,560
And would you come in and help me
with my hair, if you don't mind?

1007
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,748
(RINGING CONTINUES)

1008
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,433
Ja?

1009
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:14,992
Is this the, uh, Daggett residence?

1010
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,554
-Ja.
-Well, who's this?

1011
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,472
(WITH A SWEDISH ACCENT)
This Hulda Christoffsen.

1012
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,273
I think. New maid, by golly.

1013
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,238
Oh. Well, Hulda,

1014
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,754
may I speak to Mrs. Brainard, please?
It's very important.

1015
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,594
Miss Betsy not here.

1016
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:36,356
She been sittin' around
all day cryin' like heart would break.

1017
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,711
She been gone out tonight.

1018
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,270
Gone out? Do you know where?

1019
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,752
She invited many parties.

1020
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:46,876
Very popular, I think.

1021
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,315
Look very pretty, by Jiminy.

1022
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,272
-Look beautiful.
-Oh?

1023
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,353
You been gone out tonight, too?

1024
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:58,190
You have lady friend too, ja?

1025
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:00,198
(WITH A SWEDISH ACCENT)
No, I been sit home alone.

1026
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,108
Friendless, hungry.
There's nothing to eat in the house.

1027
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:05,716
-Good!
-What?

1028
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:07,910
I think I hang up now.

1029
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,589
"Gone out."
"Look beautiful."

1030
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,199
As far as she's concerned,
I could starve to death.

1031
00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,629
There must be something
to eat in this house.

1032
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:29,153
Soap.

1033
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:36,591
Dandy. For dogs.

1034
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:45,753
Wheat flour, whole milk,
soybean meal, dried fish.

1035
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,153
Hmm!

1036
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:56,512
(GROWLING)

1037
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:05,079
Sorry, Charlie.

1038
00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:17,951
Mmm. Candy.
Not good for little dogs, Charlie.

1039
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:21,476
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

1040
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,550
BOTH: Trick or treat, Professor!

1041
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,598
Oh, I'm sorry fellas.
There's just not a thing in the house.

1042
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,631
Trick or treat.

1043
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,518
Except these chocolates.

1044
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:41,673
They look stale.

1045
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,552
Yes, they do look
a little stale, don't they?

1046
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,393
-I'll tell you, if you don't want them...
-Yes, we do.

1047
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,956
Hey, that's some crazy radiator cap
the professor's got there.

1048
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,798
Yeah. Guess he's goin' out to make
some field studies with it.

1049
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,274
As a matter of fact, I thought I might
go out tonight after dinner.

1050
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,390
Hi, Prof. By the way,
have you fellas eaten?

1051
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:06,795
BOTH: No!

1052
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,638
Well, science marches on, but
not on an empty stomach, huh?

1053
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:11,831
Why don't we go out
and have a nice, hot dinner?

1054
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:13,273
-Great! I'm starving.
-Yeah!

1055
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,998
Does anybody have any money?

1056
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,476
Oh, I'm sorry, Prof,
but the hot water bottles didn't work,

1057
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,034
and we had to blow
every cent we had on the scuba suit.

1058
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,998
God, I wish we were invited to one of
those Halloween parties around here.

1059
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:24,837
I bet they got lots of eats.

1060
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,357
Wait a minute! I was invited to
a Halloween party at Desiree's house.

1061
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:32,348
Now, let's see. Help me get that
old trunk off of the shelf, huh?

1062
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:34,073
But how 'bout Humph and me?

1063
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,628
Don't you worry.
We're all going to get something to eat.

1064
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,039
Open that side.

1065
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:42,030
Now I'll go in first, and then you fellas
come along later and ring the doorbell.

1066
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:44,031
We'll arrange some kind of a signal.

1067
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,469
And then... Here's my old coonskin coat.

1068
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,199
My old hat.

1069
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,152
(SWING BAND PLAYING)

1070
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,915
Just a little something
in case I get hungry later.

1071
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:35,949
Yes, sir.

1072
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:39,755
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

1073
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:41,597
Two longs and a short. That's it.

1074
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,592
Oh, pardon me. I'll get it.

1075
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,869
-BOTH: Boo!
-Well, a couple of ghosts!

1076
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,109
BOTH: Trick or treat!

1077
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:54,276
Well, we don't want any tricks
around here, do we?

1078
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:56,749
-Here's some nice popcorn.
-Oh, boy! Popcorn!

1079
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,791
-Potato chips.
-I like potato chips!

1080
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:01,400
-And some chicken.
-Chicken! I want a drumstick.

1081
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:05,433
Well, Brainard. Aren't you going to ask
the little folk to step inside?

1082
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,910
-Come on, kiddies.
-Jiggers!

1083
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:12,558
Well! How do you like those big lugs
pretending they're children?

1084
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,039
I'll go and have a talk with them.

1085
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,908
(GASPS) Nuzzie! So nice that
you could get here.

1086
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:21,356
There's a tub of martinis in here,
and everybody's bobbing for olives.

1087
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,715
It's just terrific that you
brought your saxophone.

1088
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:26,789
Oh, well...

1089
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,993
Boys, I'd like you to meet
the finest saxophone player

1090
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:31,718
in the history of Medfield High School.

1091
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,997
-Well, I wouldn't say that.
-You were, too! Now go on, Nuzzie. Play.

1092
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:36,348
Well, I don't think I'd better.

1093
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:39,360
Come on, lover, join right in.
It'll be just like old times.

1094
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,993
Well, if you fellas don't mind.

1095
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:49,720
-(TOOTS)
-(ALL LAUGH)

1096
00:59:49,800 --> 00:59:54,237
The same sweet clown. I'm so glad
to see that girl hasn't changed you.

1097
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,191
I don't know whether
I should have come.

1098
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,073
Nonsense, my dear.
A bit of gaiety will do you good.

1099
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,113
-Good evening.
-Good evening, sir.

1100
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,033
-Good evening, madam.
-I feel guilty about Ned.

1101
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,232
He's so helpless all by himself.

1102
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:08,197
Excuse me, my dear.
Hello, Frederick.

1103
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:11,508
-May I take your coat, madam?
-Oh, yes. Thank you.

1104
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:16,350
(SWING MUSIC PLAYING)

1105
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,717
-Betsy! So nice to see you.
-Excuse me, please!

1106
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,228
How lovely you are when you're angry.
Is anything the matter?

1107
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,551
Betsy! What in the world
are you doing here?

1108
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,950
I might ask the same thing of you.
In fact, I think I will.

1109
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:38,553
Here I was feeling sorry for you

1110
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,551
because I thought you were home
alone and hungry.

1111
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:44,275
Well, I was. But there is an instinct
called self-preservation, you know.

1112
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:45,998
Under certain conditions
even the lowest form

1113
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:47,439
of animal life will go searching for food.

1114
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:49,078
Very aptly put.

1115
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,231
Look, Neptune,
why don't you just submerge?

1116
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,153
Ned, there is no reason
for any of that. I'm leaving!

1117
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:55,913
Betsy, I want to talk to you.

1118
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,514
There is nothing for you and me
to say to one another!

1119
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,198
Shelby, would you
take me home, please?

1120
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,470
You see, Brainard, you've already
spoiled the party for her.

1121
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,358
-Now why don't you leave Betsy alone?
-Ashton, if you don't stay out of this...

1122
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:08,233
I will not have
you two fighting over me!

1123
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:11,118
Why, Betsy!
What a perfectly darling costume!

1124
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,872
Some kind of a peasant, aren't you?

1125
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:15,114
Good night, Nuzzie.

1126
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,873
-Wait, Betsy...
-Come on, Nuzzie. Back to the party.

1127
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:20,951
-Wait, Mary Lee...
-Come on, darlin'.

1128
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:32,592
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

1129
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:46,309
Normally, I'm the last person in the world
to intrude upon a person's private life,

1130
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,431
but when you love someone,
as I do...

1131
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,038
Thank you
for bringing me home, Shelby.

1132
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:51,792
Simply because of a headstrong,

1133
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:56,152
impetuous marriage to a man not fit
to touch the hem of your skirt.

1134
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:58,953
Betsy, I forgive you for what
you did to me, but...

1135
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:02,037
Oh, Shelby. I didn't want to hurt you.

1136
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:04,511
No, it's all right.

1137
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:07,512
As the poet says,
"The hurt is not so deep as a well,

1138
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:09,837
"nor so wide as a church door,

1139
01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:12,151
"but 'tis enough, 'twill serve."

1140
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:14,632
I'm sorry, Shelby. Good night.

1141
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,397
I'll ring you first thing
in the morning!

1142
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:22,992
(WHISTLING)

1143
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,830
Okay, Charlie.
Battle stations.

1144
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,919
I need a guinea pig for this experiment,
and I know just the pig.

1145
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:08,678
(HUMMING)

1146
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:34,117
-(WHISTLING)
-(THUNDER CRASHING)

1147
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:48,036
(THUNDER CRASHES)

1148
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:12,957
-Brainard!
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

1149
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:18,993
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-(THUNDER CRASHES)

1150
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,831
(SCREAMING)

1151
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:52,435
Ahhh! (MOANS)

1152
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:57,474
-(THUNDER CRASHES)
-(TIRES SCREECH)

1153
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:15,156
Oh, say, Captain, we want to thank you
again for this new prowl car.

1154
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:23,152
Don't worry, Captain. This is one car
we're really gonna take care of.

1155
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,154
(RADIATOR HISSES)

1156
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:36,874
(SOBS) Aww.

1157
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,997
-OFFICER: What is it?
-I've got just the faintest ghost

1158
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:50,871
of an idea.

1159
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:53,915
(COUGHING AND SPUTTERING)

1160
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,236
I'm terribly sorry, Professor,

1161
01:05:57,320 --> 01:06:01,199
but did our brand-new
patrol car get in your way?

1162
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:04,352
Officer!
It isn't my fault!

1163
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:06,231
It's that fiend, Brainard!

1164
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:09,909
He's up there, somewhere!
Get him! Find him!

1165
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,195
Do something!

1166
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:14,711
(LAUGHING)

1167
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:18,196
J‘ Though April showers
may come your way J‘

1168
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:21,630
They bring the flowers
ladadadee

1169
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:27,030
(DOOR OPENS) Good morning, boys.
You're up early this morning.

1170
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:29,594
-MAN: Bright and early, Professor.
-(DOOR CLOSES)

1171
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:31,911
Mr. Hawk!
What are you doing here?

1172
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:36,556
Spreading sunshine, bringing cheer
and good tidings to my fellow man.

1173
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,034
Uh, may I take
the liberty, Professor?

1174
01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:45,073
Now, as you can see,
this is a map of our fair community.

1175
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:47,194
What about it?

1176
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:51,233
On Thursday pm. this week,
a peculiar thing happened in Medfield.

1177
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:54,909
Plate glass in stores,
automobile windshields,

1178
01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:59,590
bottles, clock faces, glass of every kind
and description

1179
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:02,632
began to break and shatter in various
portions of our community.

1180
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:06,476
This in turn brought mental anguish
and sorrow to the owners,

1181
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:09,998
more especially to the Auld Lang Syne
Insurance Company,

1182
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,594
which was left holding the bag
for all the damages.

1183
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:14,796
But what has all this
got to do with me?

1184
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:18,595
As president of Auld Lang Syne, l was
naturally interested in this phenomenon,

1185
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:22,389
so I made up a kind of a war map
of the damaged areas.

1186
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:25,873
As you see,
they formed a pattern,

1187
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:29,038
a sort of cone-shaped pattern
of devastation,

1188
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:32,271
as though some unseen force
had fanned out

1189
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:35,198
from one beginning point,

1190
01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:38,790
at a place on the corner
of Maple and Litchfield.

1191
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:41,952
Now, I may be wrong, Professor,

1192
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:45,510
but isn't that the precise point on which
I'm standing at this very moment?

1193
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:50,632
That's right. I heard something
about the breaking glass,

1194
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,910
but I had no idea
I could have been responsible.

1195
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:54,958
Professor, l have suffered damages

1196
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,309
amounting to tens of thousands
of dollars because of you.

1197
01:07:57,840 --> 01:07:59,990
I could have you dragged off
to jail and left there.

1198
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,836
But outside of making me feel good
all over, what would it get me?

1199
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:07,517
No, the point is, I'm not sore at you
at all, Professor.

1200
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:11,879
As a matter of fact, I take my hat
off to you. (CHUCKLES)

1201
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:13,837
Yes, sir, I think you've really
got something here

1202
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:16,878
in this glass-breaking gizmo.

1203
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:20,830
Why, it's pure genius.
(CHUCKLES)

1204
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:24,959
While everybody else is busy making
things, you come up with the answer.

1205
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,877
You come up with something
that breaks things!

1206
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:28,599
But that wasn't the idea.

1207
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:30,557
Okay, Brainard.
You've done your part of it.

1208
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,116
Now, as your partner,
here's how we go about it.

1209
01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:36,431
Very quietly, we buy up
a lot of glass company stock,

1210
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,875
slowly, so that nobody catches on.

1211
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:41,554
Then suddenly, all over the country,
all over the world,

1212
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:43,870
zingo!
Glass begins to break.

1213
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:47,230
We replace it with new glass.
It breaks. We'll clean up!

1214
01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:49,629
Mr. Hawk, you don't
seem to understand. I...

1215
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,950
How about that United Nations building
in New York?

1216
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:55,077
How about all that glass, huh?
And stained glass.

1217
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:58,630
Maybe we could organize
a quiet little corporation

1218
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:00,950
that does nothing
but break church glass.

1219
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:05,036
Well, what's the matter, Brainard?

1220
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:06,718
You don't think you're gonna
freeze me out of this thing

1221
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:08,518
like you did out of flubber, do you?

1222
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,071
Your friend, Mr. Hawk,
isn't gonna be standing

1223
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:14,396
with a balloon in his hand watching
the parade go by this time.

1224
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:17,069
Mr. Hawk, you don't
for one minute think

1225
01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:19,111
I'd go along with a scheme
like that, do you?

1226
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:21,551
Well, what are you acting
so high and mighty about?

1227
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:23,710
You invented this glass-breaker,
didn't you?

1228
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:27,355
The glass-breaking was an unfortunate
side effect of my cloud experiment.

1229
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:29,072
In trying to reach the cloud
with my weather gun

1230
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:31,350
there must have been an overload
of electronic excitation,

1231
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,030
which set up an in-harmonic
saw-tooth oscillation

1232
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:35,672
and imparted a tremor to the gas.

1233
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:37,990
Now, this was intercepted by the glass,
which is, of course,

1234
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:40,753
an amorphous super-fluid
in a temporary state of rigidity.

1235
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:43,718
And I guess the resulting strain
was just a little too much.

1236
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:47,908
Yeah. Look, Professor, why don't you
just settle for what you got here?

1237
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:49,871
With the money from this thing
we'll both get fat.

1238
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:52,878
And there'll be enough left over for you
to take care of the Medfield problem.

1239
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:57,437
Well, that's what you want to do, isn't it?
Save Medfield College?

1240
01:09:57,760 --> 01:09:59,591
That kind of money would never help
Medfield College

1241
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:00,999
or anyone else, Mr. Hawk.

1242
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,958
Well, you know what you're doing,
don't you?

1243
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:04,951
You'll go to jail
for what you did to me!

1244
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:07,508
And before this day is over
I'll be back here with the sheriff.

1245
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:09,915
And we'll have this place tied up
tighter than Fort Knox!

1246
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:11,837
With all your work
and all your experiments!

1247
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:13,035
Good day, Mr. Hawk.

1248
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:15,076
And as for Medfield,
a year from now,

1249
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:18,078
people will have forgotten there ever was
such a punk little college.

1250
01:10:18,520 --> 01:10:19,794
You wanna bet?

1251
01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:24,396
-Oh. Hi, Pop, what are you doing here?
-Out of the way, son.

1252
01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:26,914
Hey, Pop, I thought I'd mention it.
You're a little overdue on my allowance.

1253
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:28,313
Allowance!

1254
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:31,951
Why, I'm just liable to send you off
to jail with this criminal here,

1255
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:33,354
as a fellow conspirator,

1256
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:35,471
a partner in crime!

1257
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:38,309
Why, if you weren't deductible,
I'd disown you!

1258
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:42,114
-What was that all about?
-Come on, fellas.

1259
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:44,116
Let's get to work on
that football suit of yours.

1260
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:46,116
Professor, you mean
you're gonna help us?

1261
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:47,832
Maybe the college
won't be here next year,

1262
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,831
but we're going to see
that nobody ever forgets it.

1263
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:51,990
Yahoo! Come on, Humph!
Let's hustle into it!

1264
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:53,712
But, Biff, about my idea!
You promised!

1265
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,392
Will you forget about that?
The Professor's with us now!

1266
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:56,589
The first team's coming into the game!

1267
01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:57,874
We're gonna have the suit in no time.

1268
01:10:57,960 --> 01:10:59,552
Biff, Biff.
Let's take it easy for a minute.

1269
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:01,597
Now, your basic idea is fine.

1270
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:03,671
I just think there might be a more
effective way of using it.

1271
01:11:03,920 --> 01:11:05,512
That's what I've been trying to tell him.

1272
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,393
Forget the suit.
Put the flubber gas in the football!

1273
01:11:08,480 --> 01:11:11,870
Boy, just think, 70-yard kicks,
90-yard passes!

1274
01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:14,349
Humph, what is the matter with you?
Are you cracking up?

1275
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:15,833
Our team can't even
hold onto the ball now.

1276
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:17,836
Now, what would happen if we
hopped it up with flubber gas?

1277
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:18,989
Biff is right.

1278
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,118
We must never lose possession of it.

1279
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:27,358
So, we never throw just the ball,
we throw the player with the ball.

1280
01:11:29,040 --> 01:11:32,794
-Right! We throw a player?
-That's right.

1281
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:36,077
(STUTTERING) Look, Professor,
couldn't we put the gas in the football?

1282
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:38,720
-You know, forget the suit?
-Humphrey, it's just simple logic.

1283
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:41,479
With the flubber gas we make you
quasi-weightless, or buoyant,

1284
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:43,676
and then we throw you with the ball.

1285
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:46,354
-You do?
-Yes! Don't you see the beauty of it?

1286
01:11:46,480 --> 01:11:49,756
Even if they intercept, we still have
possession of the ball. Right?

1287
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:51,398
. -Right!
-Right, Humphrey?

1288
01:11:51,480 --> 01:11:53,516
-Uh, right.
-Well, good. Let's go to work!

1289
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:58,275
CROWD: Poor old Medfield!
See them run!

1290
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:02,911
Come on, Rutland! Mow them down!
(CHEERING)

1291
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:06,714
Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we
are in the little community of Medfield.

1292
01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:08,831
Say what you will
about their football team,

1293
01:12:08,920 --> 01:12:10,831
at least the weather here is good.

1294
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:14,237
A clear, crisp, moonlight night,
not a cloud in the sky.

1295
01:12:14,320 --> 01:12:17,995
As for what has been optimistically
advertised as a football game,

1296
01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:20,230
I'm afraid we can't promise you much.

1297
01:12:20,280 --> 01:12:22,157
Mighty Rutland University, untied,

1298
01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:24,231
unscored upon
for the past three seasons,

1299
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,080
knocking at the door
of the national championship

1300
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,754
pitted tonight against puny Medfield.

1301
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:31,791
Oh! Here comes Rutland on the field.

1302
01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:34,595
(CROWD CHEERING)

1303
01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:43,429
They've chickened out,
both of them.

1304
01:12:43,480 --> 01:12:46,153
-Wait'll I get my hands on those two!
-Coach! Coach!

1305
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:48,879
-I got a note for you.
-Oh, good, good.

1306
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,713
"Dear coach, Humphrey and I will be
a little late for the game tonight,

1307
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:54,439
"so go ahead without us.

1308
01:12:54,480 --> 01:12:57,790
"We're getting
a secret weapon ready.

1309
01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,718
"You'll be proud of us
when you see what it is.

1310
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:03,360
"Best wishes, Biff Hawk."

1311
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:09,711
-Oh, no. Coach. Steady. Steady.
-Best wishes? Best wishes! Oh!

1312
01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:12,354
(STAMMERING AND SOBBING)

1313
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:16,150
And at fullback position for
Rutland, Hjalmar Woccskyinska,

1314
01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:19,670
a 240-pound husky
from Broken Jaw, ldaho.

1315
01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:22,069
Back home
during his summer vacations,

1316
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:25,038
Hjalmar runs
a training school for prison guards.

1317
01:13:25,120 --> 01:13:29,477
(LAUGHS) And that completes
the starting lineup for Rutland.

1318
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:31,476
How would you like to be
in little Medfield's shoes,

1319
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:34,313
and square off against that array
of giants, huh, friends?

1320
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,470
(LAUGHS)
Oh, here comes Medfield.

1321
01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:39,918
(CROWD CHEERING)

1322
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:44,799
Well, here come
the lambs to the slaughter.

1323
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,035
Jeffrey, I just don't see
why you had to come.

1324
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,509
You know how this game is
going to upset you.

1325
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:53,309
My dear, when a ship is sinking,
the captain remains at his post.

1326
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:55,590
Come on, Medfield!
Eat 'em alive!

1327
01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:58,114
ANNOUNCER: Second quarter,
Rutland's ball, first and ten.

1328
01:13:58,720 --> 01:14:03,157
QUARTERBACK: Ready, set.
Hut one! Hut two!

1329
01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:05,236
Hut three! Hut four!

1330
01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:23,151
ANNOUNCER: (ON RADIO) Down to
the 30, the 20, the 10, and

1331
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:24,792
over for another
Rutland touchdown.

1332
01:14:24,880 --> 01:14:26,677
Yeah, there goes another one.

1333
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:28,952
I can't understand
what's happened to Biff.

1334
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:31,156
He went to get that vulcanizing kit
over an hour ago.

1335
01:14:31,720 --> 01:14:34,393
Sir, we're never gonna get
this thing ready in time.

1336
01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:37,079
-If you'd just reconsider my idea.
-What's that, Humphrey?

1337
01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:40,556
-Well, this. There's flubber gas in here.
-What's it for?

1338
01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:42,397
Well, so I don't have
to wear this suit.

1339
01:14:42,480 --> 01:14:46,393
Instead, we give the good ole football a
shot of gas, and then zzshhhh!

1340
01:14:46,480 --> 01:14:48,471
-Humphrey. Humphrey...
-Boy, just think. 70-yard passes...

1341
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:49,913
-Humphrey.
-80-yard punts!

1342
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,274
-90-yard field goals!
-Wait a minute now.

1343
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:52,918
We've been through all that.

1344
01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:53,949
Don't you understand, Humphrey?

1345
01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:55,917
You don't have
a thing to worry about now.

1346
01:14:56,280 --> 01:14:59,477
With this new valve you have perfect
buoyancy control at all times.

1347
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:01,959
(TIRES SCREECH)

1348
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:05,438
Professor! Come on.
We gotta get out of here.

1349
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:06,834
-What's wrong, Biff?
-My father.

1350
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:08,876
l was just over
at Higgins' Super Mercantile store

1351
01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:10,194
getting this vulcanizing kit.

1352
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:12,231
Pop walked in to get the sheriff who was
his dinner there,

1353
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:13,429
and I overheard them talking.

1354
01:15:13,480 --> 01:15:14,674
Then they went over
to Judge Murdock's.

1355
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,159
And professor,
they've got a warrant for you,

1356
01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:17,918
and they're coming over here
to throw you in jail.

1357
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:19,433
Well, you're right.
We'd better get out of here.

1358
01:15:19,480 --> 01:15:20,879
We'll have to fix the suit
in the locker room.

1359
01:15:20,920 --> 01:15:22,273
Open the doors, Biff.

1360
01:15:24,120 --> 01:15:27,112
(SIREN WAILING)

1361
01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:30,074
Look out!

1362
01:15:38,440 --> 01:15:40,590
Back out, you idiot!
He's getting away!

1363
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:43,792
(TIRES SCREECH)

1364
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:46,358
(TIRES SCREECH AND
ENGINE REVS)

1365
01:15:48,480 --> 01:15:50,675
(TIRES SCREECH)

1366
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:01,556
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's
going just the way we predicted.

1367
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,871
Mighty Rutland is shredding
the little Medfield team to bits.

1368
01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:07,315
As we go into the closing minutes
of the third quarter,

1369
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:11,155
the score, Rutland 28,
Medfield, nothing. (CHUCKLES)

1370
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,151
Well, he must be here someplace.

1371
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:18,073
You two get the rest of the boys
and spread out!

1372
01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:22,718
"Aye, tear her tattered ensign down,
long has it waved on high."

1373
01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:25,633
Look, I don't mind losing
the football game, Professor Ashton,

1374
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:27,636
but spare us
your garbled quotations.

1375
01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:31,468
As you will. You're not expecting
anyone, are you, Betsy?

1376
01:16:32,480 --> 01:16:34,869
-Thank you.
-Shelby, wouldn't you rather sit on your

1377
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:36,871
own side of the field? You're winning.

1378
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:39,394
Oh, it's of no consequence, my dear.

1379
01:16:39,480 --> 01:16:41,630
Just remember, the next time
you see a football game,

1380
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,193
you'll see it from the right side,

1381
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:44,468
the Rutland side.

1382
01:16:44,840 --> 01:16:46,671
(CROWD CHEERING)

1383
01:16:49,440 --> 01:16:51,590
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)

1384
01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:53,675
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

1385
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:56,354
ANNOUNCER: Pitney returns to take off
to the 21 -yard line.

1386
01:16:57,360 --> 01:16:58,554
(BLOWS WHISTLE)

1387
01:16:58,640 --> 01:17:00,312
ANNOUNCER: Time out for Medfield.

1388
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:05,198
-It's a massacre, coach.
-(LAUGHING) Yeah, ain't it a shame.

1389
01:17:05,280 --> 01:17:07,316
We should have brought along
the girls' volleyball team.

1390
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:08,554
We could have sent them in.

1391
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:10,670
(ALL LAUGHING)

1392
01:17:14,520 --> 01:17:16,715
Okay.
Any volunteers?

1393
01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:20,320
BIFF: Hold it, coach! We're here.
Everything's okay, sir.

1394
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:21,879
The secret weapon is primed
and ready to fire.

1395
01:17:21,960 --> 01:17:23,029
Where've you been, Hawk?

1396
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:25,514
And what's all this static
about a secret weapon?

1397
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:26,993
This is it, sir.

1398
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:32,670
-You're the secret weapon?
-Yes, sir.

1399
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,239
It's not fair.

1400
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:38,229
-It's not fair.
-Come on, boy.

1401
01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:39,554
Let's mop up the field with 'em.

1402
01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:43,438
-(SIGHS)
-(WHISTLE BLOWS)

1403
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:47,915
ANNOUNCER: Hawk and Humphrey
coming in for Medfield.

1404
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:52,435
Medfield's ball, first and ten
on their 21 -yard line.

1405
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:58,792
(CROWD CHEERING)

1406
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:06,997
Humph, give it the gas.

1407
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:12,596
(FLUBBER GAS HISSING)

1408
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:16,314
Ready?
Break!

1409
01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:22,556
BIFF: Down! Hut!
Hut two! Hike!

1410
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:41,592
(CROWD CHEERING)

1411
01:18:45,440 --> 01:18:49,149
ALL: Way to go, Humphrey!
Touchdown! Come on!

1412
01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:53,113
All right, you first string, get back
in there! And forget your manners!

1413
01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:11,471
And there goes the try
for the extra point.

1414
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:14,558
It's good.

1415
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:17,473
The score, Rutland 37,
Medfield 7.

1416
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,116
I tell you, that Medfield touchdown
was certainly a surprise.

1417
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:24,516
To recap, Humphrey,
the Medfield tailback,

1418
01:19:24,600 --> 01:19:27,512
received the ball,
then he, uh...

1419
01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:30,592
George, what kind of play
would you say that was?

1420
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:32,671
Uh...

1421
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:43,512
Rutland returns the kickoff
to Medfield's 45-yard line.

1422
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:45,431
Now we'll see what happens.

1423
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:48,159
For my money, folks, I think little
Medfield's gonna be awfully sorry

1424
01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:50,191
they made that accidental touchdown.

1425
01:19:50,280 --> 01:19:52,510
Those Rutland boys are like
a bunch of hungry tigers.

1426
01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:54,352
QUARTERBACK: Ready, set!

1427
01:19:56,280 --> 01:20:00,114
Hut one! Hut two!
Hut three! Hut four!

1428
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:22,310
What happened to you
on that play, stupid?

1429
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:25,358
What happened to me?
What happened to you, clod?

1430
01:20:25,400 --> 01:20:28,039
Well, now. Let's see
what happened that time.

1431
01:20:28,080 --> 01:20:30,913
As I make it out,
Rutland had just started one of its

1432
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:33,560
famous razzle-dazzle plays,
when, uh...

1433
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:36,116
Did you see how that
happened there, George?

1434
01:20:36,200 --> 01:20:37,758
Uh, well, it...

1435
01:20:47,000 --> 01:20:50,675
ANNOUNCER: Olson returns the ball
to Rutland's 38-yard line.

1436
01:20:55,440 --> 01:20:57,749
Hut one! Hut two!

1437
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:15,477
-Here he comes!
-Catch him!

1438
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:18,113
ANNOUNCER: Humphrey knocked
out of bounds over

1439
01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:20,276
the Medfield 49-yard line.

1440
01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:22,470
-Upsy-daisy!
-Have a good trip, Humph!

1441
01:21:25,440 --> 01:21:30,560
(WHEEZING)
Out! Get him away from me!

1442
01:21:30,640 --> 01:21:32,790
ANNOUNCER: Medfield ball,
first and ten.

1443
01:21:32,880 --> 01:21:34,916
Down! Hut one!

1444
01:21:56,520 --> 01:21:57,635
Oof!

1445
01:22:01,600 --> 01:22:03,477
I don't know what it is,
but there's somethin' crooked

1446
01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:07,069
-going on here.
-Okay. Here's a rule book.

1447
01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:09,879
You think there's somethin' wrong?
You find it!

1448
01:22:10,480 --> 01:22:11,993
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
I guess you know by now,

1449
01:22:12,040 --> 01:22:14,395
we are witnessing one of the wildest,
slam-bang football games

1450
01:22:14,480 --> 01:22:16,516
ever played anywhere at any time.

1451
01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:18,835
Tiny Medfield College,
led by captain Biff Hawk,

1452
01:22:18,880 --> 01:22:20,518
and a high-stepping back
named Humphrey,

1453
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,591
has turned a rout into a battle of titans.

1454
01:22:22,680 --> 01:22:24,591
And, oh!
There's the kickoff!

1455
01:22:24,680 --> 01:22:26,671
It arches through the air
down to the Rutland 25...

1456
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:28,790
Rutland fumbles!
Medfield's got the ball again.

1457
01:22:28,880 --> 01:22:31,269
Looks like mighty Rutland's
beginning to feel the pressure.

1458
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:35,794
ANNOUNCER: Medfield's ball,
first and ten.

1459
01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:39,314
Hut one! Hut two! Hike!

1460
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:41,075
The ball is snapped
to Humphrey.

1461
01:22:41,160 --> 01:22:42,354
He fakes a handoff
to the wingback.

1462
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:43,992
Humphrey still has the ball.

1463
01:22:44,920 --> 01:22:46,319
Now Hawk has Humphrey.

1464
01:22:48,080 --> 01:22:51,390
(CROWD CHEERING)

1465
01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:09,317
Rule seven, section 30...

1466
01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:10,879
Get off the playin' field.

1467
01:23:10,920 --> 01:23:14,356
I got myself a football game
goin' on out here!

1468
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:15,992
-Why, you...
-Wait a minute, coach.

1469
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:17,069
Take it easy, huh?

1470
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:18,752
Well, it's a race
against time now.

1471
01:23:18,840 --> 01:23:20,956
Medfield trails Rutland
by nine points.

1472
01:23:21,040 --> 01:23:22,473
With less than
four minutes left to play,

1473
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:26,513
the big question is can Rutland stop
Medfield's brilliant aerial attack?

1474
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,750
Oh, it looks as if Rutland may
have something up their sleeve.

1475
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:30,836
ANNOUNCER: Medfield ball,
first and ten.

1476
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:33,798
I've never seen 'em use
this kind of defense before.

1477
01:23:35,320 --> 01:23:39,279
BIFF: Down! Hut one!
Hut two! Hike!

1478
01:23:39,320 --> 01:23:40,719
Now!

1479
01:23:49,520 --> 01:23:52,751
Wait a minute! Are you gonna
let them get away with that?

1480
01:23:52,800 --> 01:23:56,110
What are you kickin' about?
That's a legal tackle, ain't it?

1481
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:59,272
Now, remember, you guys,
the old lady with a twist on two.

1482
01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:00,548
Ready? Break!

1483
01:24:03,440 --> 01:24:06,000
-The same thing again.
-Down!

1484
01:24:07,320 --> 01:24:08,389
Hut one! Hike!

1485
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:20,956
No! No!
The other way!

1486
01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:25,630
Looks like the old Statue of Liberty play.
Right, George?

1487
01:24:25,680 --> 01:24:27,398
ANNOUNCER: Medfield scores.

1488
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:34,876
The clock is ticking away
the last minutes of the game.

1489
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,552
Medfield takes over the ball again.

1490
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:38,392
Ready? Break!

1491
01:24:39,840 --> 01:24:43,116
You look kinda flabby, Humph.
Better gas up a little.

1492
01:24:45,600 --> 01:24:48,319
(FLUBBER GAS HISSING)

1493
01:24:55,840 --> 01:24:59,037
BIFF: Down! Hut one!
Hut two! Hike!

1494
01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:06,037
(CROWD CHEERING)

1495
01:25:08,680 --> 01:25:11,592
Biff!

1496
01:25:16,040 --> 01:25:17,678
Biff!

1497
01:25:23,320 --> 01:25:25,197
Biff! Biff!

1498
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:42,797
It's Hawk with Humphrey.

1499
01:25:45,720 --> 01:25:48,712
He's down to the 20,
the 15, the ten, the five...

1500
01:25:53,240 --> 01:25:56,357
He's back to the ten,
the 15, the 20...

1501
01:26:03,960 --> 01:26:05,598
(FLUBBER GAS EXPELLING)

1502
01:26:05,720 --> 01:26:07,631
Biff!

1503
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:13,073
(HUMPH GROANING)

1504
01:26:16,200 --> 01:26:18,794
-(WHISTLE BLOWING)
-ANNOUNCER: Medfield calls time out.

1505
01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:27,432
And that looks like
the end of the line for Medfield.

1506
01:26:27,520 --> 01:26:30,796
They're back on their own two yard line
with eight seconds left to play.

1507
01:26:30,880 --> 01:26:34,111
The score, Rutland 37, Medfield 35.

1508
01:26:34,200 --> 01:26:38,432
Well, Humph, I guess we've had it.
Anyway, we tried.

1509
01:26:38,480 --> 01:26:40,948
Well, if you'd just let me use my needle,
we'd have won easy.

1510
01:26:41,040 --> 01:26:43,429
Well, it isn't doing us
any good back at the lab.

1511
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:47,308
Well, like I said,
I never did trust this crummy suit.

1512
01:26:50,640 --> 01:26:51,959
Humph!

1513
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:57,309
There may be time for one more play.

1514
01:27:02,240 --> 01:27:04,754
ANNOUNCER: Medfield lining up
for a field goal attempt.

1515
01:27:04,800 --> 01:27:06,438
They're gonna try a field goal from here?

1516
01:27:06,480 --> 01:27:07,515
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1517
01:27:07,600 --> 01:27:10,194
(ALL LAUGHING)

1518
01:27:10,280 --> 01:27:14,273
It looks as though Medfield is going to
attempt a 98-yard field goal.

1519
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:17,676
Repeat, 98 yards. Ridiculous.

1520
01:27:17,760 --> 01:27:20,035
The poor lads must be
cracking under the strain.

1521
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:25,355
Hike!

1522
01:27:26,480 --> 01:27:27,799
(FLUBBER GAS HISSING)

1523
01:27:29,720 --> 01:27:33,269
Too bad. Medfield just made
a final, desperate effort to...

1524
01:27:33,320 --> 01:27:35,311
Wait a minute.
It's gaining altitude.

1525
01:27:38,360 --> 01:27:41,158
(CROWD CHEERING)

1526
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:47,673
And there goes the final gun
as the game ends and Medfield wins.

1527
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:50,598
The ball, the ball is still going up...

1528
01:27:50,680 --> 01:27:52,910
Up... Up...

1529
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:55,238
Out of the stadium!

1530
01:27:59,120 --> 01:28:02,590
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think it's going into orbit.

1531
01:28:03,880 --> 01:28:06,758
George.
George, did ya see that?

1532
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:14,751
(LAUGHING)
We won! We... Ooh! Ooh!

1533
01:28:14,840 --> 01:28:17,832
Get him! Get him!
Get him! Get him!

1534
01:28:44,040 --> 01:28:46,508
(LAUGHING)

1535
01:28:46,560 --> 01:28:48,312
Oh, shut up!

1536
01:28:56,360 --> 01:29:00,114
Well, the trial of Professor Ned Brainard
swung into its third day today.

1537
01:29:00,760 --> 01:29:02,751
Against advice to the contrary,

1538
01:29:02,800 --> 01:29:06,076
Professor Brainard continued
to act as counsel in his own behalf

1539
01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:10,593
He was quoted as saying he was
confident in the due processes of law.

1540
01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:13,552
Despite the growing tide
of testimony against him,

1541
01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:15,909
as the prosecution kept
a steady parade of witnesses

1542
01:29:16,000 --> 01:29:17,672
moving through the witness box,

1543
01:29:17,760 --> 01:29:21,878
today, the prosecution unlimbered
its big guns against the defense.

1544
01:29:22,240 --> 01:29:25,676
PROSECUTOR: Professor Brainard,
you seem proud of your job as a teacher.

1545
01:29:25,760 --> 01:29:28,957
Do you like it because you believe
it makes you important?

1546
01:29:29,160 --> 01:29:32,755
Well, not me personally.
But I believe the work I do is important.

1547
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:36,719
In what way?
Would you care to tell us a little about it?

1548
01:29:37,320 --> 01:29:40,278
It gives me the opportunity to help
young people, to stir them up,

1549
01:29:40,320 --> 01:29:43,312
to make them restless,
to make them think.

1550
01:29:43,440 --> 01:29:46,591
Maybe plant a bug of discovery
in their minds, or...

1551
01:29:46,640 --> 01:29:49,518
-And you think that's important?
-Of course it's important!

1552
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:51,636
One of those young people
might discover something

1553
01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:53,676
the entire world has been looking for.

1554
01:29:54,200 --> 01:29:58,637
He might not, but I like to feel that
I had a part in giving him a crack at it.

1555
01:29:58,920 --> 01:30:00,956
PROSECUTOR: I see.

1556
01:30:01,040 --> 01:30:04,510
Now, regardless of whether
you are found guilty or not,

1557
01:30:04,600 --> 01:30:08,275
I ask you to consider
this question very carefully.

1558
01:30:08,920 --> 01:30:11,309
Would you hope to
return to your classroom?

1559
01:30:11,360 --> 01:30:13,237
Would you continue as before?

1560
01:30:13,320 --> 01:30:16,551
Would you recklessly incite the
young minds of your class again?

1561
01:30:16,680 --> 01:30:18,591
To inspire them to such experiments

1562
01:30:18,680 --> 01:30:21,797
as that which bombarded
our skies with powerful rays?

1563
01:30:21,840 --> 01:30:24,308
Rays which expose all of us
to unknown peril?

1564
01:30:25,680 --> 01:30:28,148
I put the question to you
again, Professor,

1565
01:30:28,200 --> 01:30:30,919
and I ask you
to mark well your answer.

1566
01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:35,437
Would you still persist in these
dangerous and malicious follies?

1567
01:30:36,240 --> 01:30:38,959
Well, that question is
a little difficult to answer.

1568
01:30:39,000 --> 01:30:40,638
Well, Professor?

1569
01:30:42,840 --> 01:30:47,960
-Mr. Prosecutor, may I say something?
-Go ahead, Professor.

1570
01:30:48,640 --> 01:30:52,269
I'm sure we'd all be interested
in hearing your views.

1571
01:30:52,920 --> 01:30:56,196
-Looks like he's gonna crawfish.
-Well, it seems to me that a lot of people

1572
01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:59,277
are going around these days
selling fear.

1573
01:30:59,360 --> 01:31:03,956
All kinds of fear.
Fear of bombs, bugs, smog,

1574
01:31:04,040 --> 01:31:07,077
surpluses, fallout, falling hair,

1575
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:09,230
even fear of Mr. Hawk.

1576
01:31:09,760 --> 01:31:12,035
We find ourself apologizing,

1577
01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:15,436
hiding our heads,
or jumping at shadows.

1578
01:31:16,360 --> 01:31:19,796
I can remember when Groundhog Day
only came once a year in this country.

1579
01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:25,909
Now, I see a lot of students from
my science class here in the courtroom.

1580
01:31:27,080 --> 01:31:30,072
They may not be the most studious
group of young people in college today,

1581
01:31:30,160 --> 01:31:33,357
but I'll say this for them,
so far they are unafraid.

1582
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,510
They have good will, enthusiasm,

1583
01:31:36,760 --> 01:31:39,991
and an infinite capacity
for making mistakes.

1584
01:31:40,080 --> 01:31:41,832
l have high hopes for them.

1585
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:44,672
Am I to understand, Professor,

1586
01:31:44,760 --> 01:31:48,309
you actually encourage
mistakes in your class?

1587
01:31:48,840 --> 01:31:49,875
Mr. Prosecutor,

1588
01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:53,913
the road to genius is paved
with fumble-footing and bumbling.

1589
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:56,116
Anyone who falls flat on his face
is at least moving

1590
01:31:56,200 --> 01:31:58,111
in the right direction, forward.

1591
01:31:58,680 --> 01:32:01,069
And the fellow who makes
the most mistakes

1592
01:32:01,160 --> 01:32:03,754
may be the one who will save the neck
of the whole world someday.

1593
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:08,993
PROSECUTOR: Now, may I ask again,
and will you answer clearly,

1594
01:32:09,080 --> 01:32:10,832
for the benefit
of the court and the jury,

1595
01:32:10,960 --> 01:32:13,758
most of whom are parents.

1596
01:32:13,880 --> 01:32:17,270
Suppose you are returned
to your role as a teacher,

1597
01:32:17,320 --> 01:32:20,357
would you do exactly as you did before?

1598
01:32:21,240 --> 01:32:24,198
Yes. I would do exactly as I did before.

1599
01:32:28,960 --> 01:32:31,679
(GAVEL BANGS)

1600
01:32:31,760 --> 01:32:33,990
Order! Order, please.

1601
01:32:34,080 --> 01:32:36,230
-(GAVEL BANGS)
-Order!

1602
01:32:36,320 --> 01:32:39,392
Another such outburst and the bailiff
will clear the court.

1603
01:32:48,760 --> 01:32:51,320
JUDGE: That is all.
You may step down.

1604
01:32:53,320 --> 01:32:55,834
Come on. Let's tie this thing up
and get out of here.

1605
01:32:55,920 --> 01:32:58,275
-(WHISPERING) Are you sure?
-Stall for time.

1606
01:32:58,320 --> 01:32:59,833
15 or 20 minutes should do it.

1607
01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:01,871
JUDGE: Professor, you may
call your first witness.

1608
01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:05,635
-No witnesses, Your Honor.
-In that case, I will sum up briefly.

1609
01:33:05,680 --> 01:33:07,671
Sit down.

1610
01:33:07,760 --> 01:33:12,436
Is it true, Professor, that you have
provided no witnesses in your behalf?

1611
01:33:12,920 --> 01:33:15,673
-No, I haven't, Your Honor.
-May I suggest, Professor,

1612
01:33:15,720 --> 01:33:18,553
as defense counsel, you're not doing
much in your own behalf.

1613
01:33:18,640 --> 01:33:20,995
I'm a witness for the defense,
Your Honor.

1614
01:33:21,040 --> 01:33:22,189
Splendid.

1615
01:33:22,560 --> 01:33:24,596
-I object!
-I object too!

1616
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:25,994
Both objections overruled.

1617
01:33:26,240 --> 01:33:28,629
But, Your Honor,
this is most unusual procedure.

1618
01:33:28,680 --> 01:33:31,274
It is also unusual procedure
for the defense to have

1619
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:33,032
no witnesses in his own behalf.

1620
01:33:33,120 --> 01:33:34,155
Swear in the witness, please.

1621
01:33:34,200 --> 01:33:37,192
l merely hoped to save
the court's valuable time.

1622
01:33:37,240 --> 01:33:40,755
My time is your time,
Mr. Prosecutor.

1623
01:33:40,840 --> 01:33:41,955
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth,

1624
01:33:42,040 --> 01:33:43,268
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?

1625
01:33:43,360 --> 01:33:44,873
-I do.
-State your name.

1626
01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:46,239
Elizabeth Brainard.

1627
01:33:47,960 --> 01:33:51,032
-Will the defense question the witness?
-No, Your Honor.

1628
01:33:53,040 --> 01:33:57,750
Very well. Will you kindly tell
your story in your own words?

1629
01:33:58,680 --> 01:34:00,033
Well, uh...

1630
01:34:00,120 --> 01:34:03,715
As I was saying,
my name is Elizabeth Brainard.

1631
01:34:03,800 --> 01:34:05,358
Occupation, housewife.

1632
01:34:06,040 --> 01:34:08,395
I first met the defendant
at Medfield College

1633
01:34:08,480 --> 01:34:10,835
where l was employed as a secretary.

1634
01:34:10,880 --> 01:34:13,394
He scratched my fender
in the parking lot just outside

1635
01:34:13,440 --> 01:34:15,271
the administration building.

1636
01:34:15,360 --> 01:34:17,510
And I fell hopelessly in love.

1637
01:34:17,560 --> 01:34:21,917
Your Honor, I don't see what
the testimony of this witness can...

1638
01:34:22,000 --> 01:34:23,319
(JUDGE SHUSHING)

1639
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:25,356
On October 30th of this year,

1640
01:34:25,400 --> 01:34:28,153
I became involved in an argument
with the defendant.

1641
01:34:28,240 --> 01:34:31,073
I told him I didn't think l was cut out
to be a scientist's wife.

1642
01:34:32,320 --> 01:34:35,471
Well, I'd like to inform the defendant
at this time that l was wrong.

1643
01:34:36,440 --> 01:34:40,956
Whether he happens to be a scientist
or an Arctic explorer...

1644
01:34:41,560 --> 01:34:44,597
Or a headhunter, or anything else,

1645
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:48,428
I'm cut out to be only one thing, his wife.

1646
01:34:49,880 --> 01:34:50,915
I love him.

1647
01:34:52,360 --> 01:34:54,828
-Betsy, do you mean that?
-Of course, she means it.

1648
01:34:54,920 --> 01:34:56,638
The witness is under oath
to tell the truth,

1649
01:34:56,720 --> 01:34:58,597
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.

1650
01:34:58,760 --> 01:35:01,115
-Oh, Betsy.
-Your Honor, I would like to inquire,

1651
01:35:01,200 --> 01:35:04,351
is this a court of law
or a lonely hearts club?

1652
01:35:04,440 --> 01:35:08,149
The witness has been instructed to
tell her own story in her own way.

1653
01:35:08,240 --> 01:35:09,355
Please sit down.

1654
01:35:10,960 --> 01:35:13,190
Your Honor, will you excuse
the witness at this time?

1655
01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:18,679
Uh, will Your Honor also tell the
defense counsel to please sit down?

1656
01:35:18,760 --> 01:35:20,796
JUDGE: The defense counsel
is so instructed.

1657
01:35:21,560 --> 01:35:23,596
Why are we looking up
at that clock all the time?

1658
01:35:23,640 --> 01:35:25,153
How should I know?

1659
01:35:25,720 --> 01:35:27,392
(WHISPERING)
Sit down.

1660
01:35:29,640 --> 01:35:31,790
BETSY: Well, then I went
to Finney's to buy

1661
01:35:31,880 --> 01:35:34,917
this darling midnight blue dress
that was on sale.

1662
01:35:35,040 --> 01:35:37,634
The defendant always said
he loved me in midnight blue.

1663
01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:39,995
Your Honor, what does all this
foofaraw about a blue dress

1664
01:35:40,040 --> 01:35:41,109
have to do with the case?

1665
01:35:41,160 --> 01:35:45,836
Uh, Mrs. Brainard,
does all this, uh, foofaraw

1666
01:35:45,880 --> 01:35:48,678
have any bearing on
the disposition of the case?

1667
01:35:48,720 --> 01:35:51,632
-You bet, Your Honor.
-I don't believe it.

1668
01:35:52,400 --> 01:35:55,551
The prosecution will have
an opportunity to cross-examine.

1669
01:35:56,360 --> 01:35:58,874
That is, if you don't mind
wasting the time.

1670
01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:04,078
Gangway! Hey, gangway.
Gangway, everybody! Gangway!

1671
01:36:04,160 --> 01:36:07,277
-Ooh! (GIGGLES)
-Gangway!

1672
01:36:07,360 --> 01:36:09,954
(CROWD MURMURING)

1673
01:36:10,840 --> 01:36:14,833
-Excuse me, please.
-Uh, but, Mrs. Brainard, please...

1674
01:36:19,320 --> 01:36:21,436
-(POUNDS GAVEL)
-Professor Brainard...

1675
01:36:21,720 --> 01:36:25,474
-(GAVEL POUNDING)
-I don't wish to pry,

1676
01:36:25,520 --> 01:36:27,909
but would you kindly
divulge your intentions?

1677
01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:30,195
The court is waiting.

1678
01:36:30,280 --> 01:36:33,795
I'm sorry, Your Honor. May I ask that this
witness be recalled to testify for me?

1679
01:36:34,240 --> 01:36:36,231
-Very well.
-Objection!

1680
01:36:36,320 --> 01:36:38,231
Your Honor, the case is
ready for summation.

1681
01:36:38,320 --> 01:36:41,756
Must we subject ourselves to irrelevant
testimony trumped up by the defense?

1682
01:36:42,440 --> 01:36:44,396
The witness is qualified.

1683
01:36:44,440 --> 01:36:48,115
If I recall, he testified in behalf
of the prosecution two days ago.

1684
01:36:48,200 --> 01:36:49,838
But Your Honor...

1685
01:36:49,880 --> 01:36:53,190
Do you wish to challenge
the integrity of your own witness?

1686
01:36:53,240 --> 01:36:54,593
Down, down!

1687
01:36:56,080 --> 01:36:59,038
-Now, sir, we know who you are.
-Oh, yes. I'm A.J. Allen.

1688
01:36:59,080 --> 01:37:01,548
I'm the county agricultural agent,
that's who I am.

1689
01:37:01,640 --> 01:37:04,712
Now, Mr. Allen, day before yesterday,
you testified

1690
01:37:04,760 --> 01:37:07,274
that the rays with which I bombarded
the atmosphere seemed to have

1691
01:37:07,360 --> 01:37:10,830
a peculiar effect on the flowers, crops,
and vegetation and so forth around here.

1692
01:37:10,920 --> 01:37:14,276
-Is that right?
-Oh, yes, yes. I said that. I certainly did.

1693
01:37:14,560 --> 01:37:15,834
And you were very upset.

1694
01:37:16,360 --> 01:37:18,430
Oh, I was extremely upset, yes.
(CHUCKLING)

1695
01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:21,791
So much so that you decided to
investigate the matter thoroughly.

1696
01:37:21,920 --> 01:37:24,753
Oh, certainly.
I'm dedicated to my work, you know.

1697
01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:27,633
And you've come here today to make
a complete report on your findings.

1698
01:37:27,720 --> 01:37:31,315
Well, I didn't come here
to toast marshmallows, you know.

1699
01:37:31,400 --> 01:37:35,029
No. Now, Mr. Allen...
First, would you mind telling us about

1700
01:37:35,080 --> 01:37:37,275
the soil conditions here
in Medfield County?

1701
01:37:37,360 --> 01:37:39,749
Well, it's no secret, goodness knows.

1702
01:37:39,840 --> 01:37:43,515
Medfield County has the thinnest,
rockiest, wore-out, farmed-out,

1703
01:37:43,600 --> 01:37:45,431
pooped-out soil in the whole state.

1704
01:37:45,560 --> 01:37:46,549
It's pitiful!

1705
01:37:47,200 --> 01:37:48,872
I've been so ashamed.
(CHUCKLING)

1706
01:37:49,240 --> 01:37:50,958
It's not much good for growing things.

1707
01:37:51,240 --> 01:37:52,229
Growing things?

1708
01:37:52,720 --> 01:37:54,711
Professor, you want me
to show you something?

1709
01:37:54,800 --> 01:37:56,950
Wait, I'll show you something.
Wait a minute.

1710
01:37:58,000 --> 01:38:01,231
Do you know what that poor thing is?
That is an ear of corn.

1711
01:38:01,800 --> 01:38:03,791
That's what we've been
growing around here.

1712
01:38:03,880 --> 01:38:06,440
Do you mind watching that, Your Honor?

1713
01:38:07,280 --> 01:38:09,032
Growing things!
My goodness!

1714
01:38:11,680 --> 01:38:13,955
That's a radish.
A radish!

1715
01:38:14,720 --> 01:38:17,757
You wouldn't get a respectable burp
out of a dozen of 'em.

1716
01:38:18,920 --> 01:38:21,150
If you want to see something
really miserable... (LAUGHING)

1717
01:38:21,240 --> 01:38:23,595
l have a rutabaga here someplace...

1718
01:38:23,640 --> 01:38:26,757
I know I had it when I left home.
Somebody put...

1719
01:38:26,800 --> 01:38:29,473
The rutabaga. Where's the rutabaga?
It's around here somewhere...

1720
01:38:29,560 --> 01:38:31,949
Uh, that's fine,
Mr. Allen. Thank you.

1721
01:38:32,000 --> 01:38:35,072
Now, would you tell us,
have you noticed any change recently?

1722
01:38:35,160 --> 01:38:36,718
Have I noticed any change?

1723
01:38:36,800 --> 01:38:39,439
Why, Professor,
you don't know what's going on!

1724
01:38:39,480 --> 01:38:42,950
All over Medfield County,
things are growing up like crazy!

1725
01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:47,232
Why, everywhere I look,
everything is suddenly all fertiled up!

1726
01:38:47,320 --> 01:38:49,629
Mr. Allen, would you say it might have
something to do with what

1727
01:38:49,680 --> 01:38:51,716
the prosecutor has been calling
"Flubber Fallout"?

1728
01:38:52,280 --> 01:38:55,238
Oh, I don't...
He can call it anything he wants.

1729
01:38:55,360 --> 01:38:56,349
Personally, Professor,

1730
01:38:56,440 --> 01:38:57,953
I think that you've invented...

1731
01:38:59,640 --> 01:39:01,198
Oh, for heaven's sakes.

1732
01:39:01,280 --> 01:39:03,510
You might call it "dry rain."

1733
01:39:04,040 --> 01:39:06,235
-Dry what?
-ALLEN: Dry rain.

1734
01:39:06,320 --> 01:39:08,470
I just thought of it just this minute.

1735
01:39:08,680 --> 01:39:10,272
That's exactly what it is.

1736
01:39:11,440 --> 01:39:14,159
I don't believe I've ever
heard of dry rain.

1737
01:39:14,200 --> 01:39:16,760
Is it anything like taking a dry bath,

1738
01:39:16,840 --> 01:39:19,513
or going for a dry canoe ride?

1739
01:39:19,560 --> 01:39:21,915
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-(LAUGHING) No, no.

1740
01:39:22,000 --> 01:39:25,072
Actually, it's more like guzzling
a dry martini, you know.

1741
01:39:25,160 --> 01:39:27,879
It's very stimulating.
(CHUCKLING)

1742
01:39:27,920 --> 01:39:30,718
You see, Professor Brainard's rays
must have combined

1743
01:39:30,760 --> 01:39:34,548
with massive amounts
of nitrogen out in the atmosphere, see?

1744
01:39:35,280 --> 01:39:39,034
And it came "shoomping" right down
in front of our eyes, but we never saw it.

1745
01:39:40,360 --> 01:39:43,238
Why, for all we know, it might be
dry-raining right down in this courtroom

1746
01:39:43,320 --> 01:39:46,312
this very minute,
fertilizing everything in sight!

1747
01:39:46,400 --> 01:39:47,992
You can't tell, you know.
(CHUCKLING)

1748
01:39:49,080 --> 01:39:52,072
Do you expect this court to believe
all this mumbo jumbo?

1749
01:39:52,160 --> 01:39:53,878
Can you substantiate it?

1750
01:39:54,120 --> 01:39:56,588
(LAUGHING)
Oh, my goodness!

1751
01:39:56,680 --> 01:39:58,636
I thought he'd never ask me!

1752
01:39:58,760 --> 01:40:00,751
(LAUGHING)

1753
01:40:00,840 --> 01:40:03,195
Boys, bring in the substantiation,

1754
01:40:03,280 --> 01:40:04,599
-will you, please?
-Yes, sir!

1755
01:40:06,520 --> 01:40:09,239
-(CROWD MURMURING)
-Come on! Bring it in!

1756
01:40:12,720 --> 01:40:14,756
(CROWD CHATTERING)

1757
01:40:17,400 --> 01:40:19,868
That's right, boys!
Just put it up there on the bench!

1758
01:40:20,360 --> 01:40:23,591
Look at those carrots, judge!
I tell you, a rabbit couldn't...

1759
01:40:26,280 --> 01:40:28,430
(ALL CHATTERING)

1760
01:40:30,600 --> 01:40:32,591
-Boys! Boys!
-Order!

1761
01:40:32,680 --> 01:40:35,353
Don't push! Keep it dignified!

1762
01:40:35,920 --> 01:40:37,592
Well, don't just sit there.
Do something!

1763
01:40:37,640 --> 01:40:39,835
Your wife says
to get home right away.

1764
01:40:39,920 --> 01:40:43,754
A summer squash just rolled off the vine
next door and smashed your sports car!

1765
01:40:45,720 --> 01:40:48,314
The jurors will please
sit down! Order!

1766
01:40:48,400 --> 01:40:50,470
Thank you very, very,
very much, judge.

1767
01:40:50,520 --> 01:40:53,273
You should try some of this walnut.
It's off my own tree, you know.

1768
01:40:53,320 --> 01:40:55,151
-That's a walnut?
-Oh, yes, yes.

1769
01:40:55,240 --> 01:40:57,390
Your honor, this is outrageous!
I leave it to you...

1770
01:40:57,480 --> 01:40:59,516
Smart move.
Case dismissed.

1771
01:40:59,600 --> 01:41:02,876
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-That isn't what I meant!

1772
01:41:02,960 --> 01:41:05,520
(BAND PLAYING MARCH)

1773
01:41:12,240 --> 01:41:14,515
Come on, pop.
Don't take it so hard.

1774
01:41:14,600 --> 01:41:18,229
I'm not crying, you blasted nitwit!
It's these onions!

1775
01:41:19,640 --> 01:41:22,393
(INAUDIBLE)

1776
01:41:32,240 --> 01:41:35,630
(MARCH CONTINUES)

1777
01:41:45,440 --> 01:41:48,113
Of course, I don't have
anything against science, mind you.

1778
01:41:48,200 --> 01:41:49,838
As a matter of fact,
I'm crazy about it, but...

1779
01:41:49,920 --> 01:41:51,148
Betsy.

1780
01:41:51,200 --> 01:41:53,634
Offhand, can you name one thing that
science hasn't improved upon,

1781
01:41:53,680 --> 01:41:55,511
one way or another?

1782
01:41:55,560 --> 01:41:59,394
-Offhand, I think I can.
-All right, what?

1783
01:42:00,080 --> 01:42:01,672
Oh!
(LAUGHING)

1784
01:42:02,040 --> 01:42:03,792
I guess I'll have
to go along with that.

1785
01:42:07,880 --> 01:42:09,598
(BEEPING)

1786
01:42:11,800 --> 01:42:13,916
(RAPID BEEPING)

1787
01:42:14,720 --> 01:42:17,188
(PULSING)

1788
01:42:20,920 --> 01:42:23,354
(FLUBBER GAS BURBLING)