1 00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,460 by the time you 2 00:00:54,089 --> 00:00:56,990 Dear John is filming for our studio audience. 3 00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:02,950 And they said it was impossible, but I was... 4 00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:06,650 able to get two tickets next Saturday night to La Boheme. 5 00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:08,710 Wow, La Boheme. 6 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,830 Not the La Boheme. 7 00:01:11,690 --> 00:01:16,030 Hey, Connors, you haven't the foggiest notion what I'm talking about. 8 00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:17,770 Not a clue. 9 00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:19,670 The opera, then. 10 00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,130 The opera. 11 00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:23,010 Next Saturday? 12 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,970 Oh, darn. Next Saturday. I'm working that night. 13 00:01:27,490 --> 00:01:32,610 Oh, yeah. See, the thingamajig on the boiler, it isn't... 14 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:34,640 Thingamajigging. 15 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,000 It's technical. 16 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:43,660 I'm so disappointed we can't go to La Boheme. It's my favorite opera. 17 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,100 Don't worry. 18 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,300 As soon as that baby comes out in video, it's yours. 19 00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:56,860 Anybody like to go and see La Boheme with me next Saturday night? 20 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:06,500 Something they'd like to share? 21 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,760 Will I? 22 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,560 No, I'm sure y 'all are tired of hearing about it. 23 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,520 Oh, you mean your job at the soap? 24 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,980 Yeah. I'm sorry, but ever since we lost one of our writers on The Divided Heart, 25 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,800 I've had to do double duty. 26 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,700 I'm telling you, I have absolutely no social life. 27 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,780 I finally understand what you people have been going through. 28 00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:29,940 You know, Mary Beth, I was going to wait until the end of the meeting, but since 29 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:33,360 you seem so desperate, I might as well break the good news now. 30 00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:34,469 Good news? 31 00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:35,870 Well, actually, great news. 32 00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:39,690 I've been thinking about your problem, and I think I've come up with the 33 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:40,690 solution. 34 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,130 Your show needs a writer. 35 00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:44,210 Well, I've done a little writing. 36 00:02:44,610 --> 00:02:46,970 So, I just put two and two together. 37 00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:51,010 I don't follow you, John. 38 00:02:52,990 --> 00:02:57,270 Look, I've been watching The Divided Heart all this week, and I think I can 39 00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:58,270 write for it. 40 00:02:58,670 --> 00:03:00,510 I've even jotted down a couple of thoughts. 41 00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:06,000 Oh, boy, this is going to be a long night. 42 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:13,140 Now, the way I see it is, there is an opportunity here, Mary Beth, to educate 43 00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:14,280 as well as entertain. 44 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:15,940 Educate? Yeah. 45 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,400 Picture this. 46 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:21,580 Lance is deeply troubled about something. 47 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:27,240 So, even when his wife, Vicki, shows up at the office wearing nothing but a 48 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,460 raincoat and a smile, 49 00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:32,880 Lance still can't get his mind off his problems. 50 00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,700 So, they embrace. 51 00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:38,880 And in a wild, passionate frenzy, roll onto the conference table. 52 00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:45,360 Vicki looks deep into Lance's eyes and says, I can't live without you. 53 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,860 Lance looks deep into Vicki's eyes and says, You know what I can't live 54 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:51,440 Clean air. 55 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,000 You mean that's all? 56 00:03:56,260 --> 00:04:00,220 No, no, no, of course not. He takes her to bed. He turns out the lights and 57 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:02,200 tells her about everything that contributes. 58 00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:03,830 To air pollution, though. 59 00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:10,210 Congratulations, John. You just iced down every horny housewife in America. 60 00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:12,810 Oh, yeah? 61 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:17,970 I suppose you think you could do better? You bet I could. Really? Fine, okay. Be 62 00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:19,110 my guest. Go ahead. Try it. 63 00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:20,930 Go ahead. 64 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:21,990 Okay. 65 00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:24,970 All right. 66 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:27,330 Picture this. 67 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,110 Lance has the hearts for his sister -in -law, right? 68 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,280 His wife, Vicki, finds out about this. 69 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,160 What does Lance do? 70 00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:40,640 He does what any normal man would do. 71 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,780 He fakes his own suicide. 72 00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:52,800 One day, Vicki comes home. She finds Lance with a noose around his neck. She 73 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,760 feels so bad, she lets him keep fooling around with her sister. 74 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,360 This way, Vicki gets Lance. 75 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,780 Amber gets Lance, and Lance gets the super sister sandwich. 76 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:11,020 Oh, come on, Kirk. That would never happen in real life. 77 00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:13,800 I wish someone would tell that to my sisters. 78 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,380 You know, Kirk, that's not that bad. 79 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,840 Maybe you should be writing soap opera. 80 00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:25,240 What? Kirk, a writer? What, are you out of your mind? Mary Beth may have a 81 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,340 point. Nobody has an imagination like Kirk. 82 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:29,720 Come on. 83 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:31,710 He's the biggest liar we know. 84 00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:33,690 You hear that, John? 85 00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:36,570 Maybe now you'll have a little respect. 86 00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:38,590 Yeah, but don't you understand? 87 00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:42,330 He doesn't know a thing about writing. No, he doesn't, but you do. 88 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:47,090 With his imagination and your writing skills, there's no telling what the two 89 00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:48,090 you could come up with. 90 00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,690 What are you saying? 91 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:54,050 All I'm saying is that if the two of you decide you want to sit down and write 92 00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:56,870 something, I'll pass it on to the show's producers. 93 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,260 Yeah. What do you say, John? 94 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:00,600 Huh? Come on. 95 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:04,820 Okay, okay, okay. I'll, uh... Maybe I'll give it a try. Oh, great! 96 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:08,420 I'm sure y 'all are gonna be just the kind of writers that the divided heart 97 00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:09,420 looking for. 98 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:11,920 Okay, Kirk. Yeah. 99 00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:13,900 We're partners. 100 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:17,500 But if we're gonna try this, we're gonna have to make a serious, dedicated 101 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,180 effort. Hey, John, I'm with you. 102 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:20,960 Okay. 103 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:23,540 Okay, we just started my place tomorrow. We'll need a... 104 00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:27,170 typewriter and some paper and... And a secretary. We don't need a secretary. 105 00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:28,170 I'll do the typing. 106 00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:31,910 Oh, yeah. Well, then, who's gonna sit on my lap while you're working? 107 00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:36,530 Bayside Motel? 108 00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,710 I'm calling to confirm a reservation for next Saturday night. 109 00:06:40,630 --> 00:06:41,630 Now, the name is Connors. 110 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,310 Right. Queen -size bed will be perfect. 111 00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,770 No, just for the one night. 112 00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:49,250 Okay. Thanks. 113 00:06:50,690 --> 00:06:51,690 Oh. 114 00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:53,120 Louise, honey bunch. 115 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:57,980 Working late Saturday night, are we? All right, then. Who is she? Who's the 116 00:06:57,980 --> 00:07:00,980 tart? No, Louise, you got this all wrong. There's no tart. 117 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,140 There's tart working with the thingamajig of the boy. Yeah, the 118 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,720 is... You couldn't understand. 119 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:12,760 I refuse to listen to any more of your lies. I said I'm not going to listen. 120 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:13,880 Please, if you just... 121 00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:32,630 next week? 122 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:33,930 Your father? 123 00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:36,970 The motel room is for him. 124 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,250 Your father? 125 00:07:40,610 --> 00:07:42,830 And you didn't want me to meet him? 126 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,590 Ben, you're ashamed of me, aren't you? 127 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:50,070 No, it's just that my father's kind of old -fashioned. And I was sort of 128 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:55,410 about him finding out that I was seeing someone... Just say it, Ben. Someone 129 00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:56,910 older than you? 130 00:07:57,370 --> 00:08:00,150 Louise, you know it doesn't make any difference to me. But you don't know my 131 00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:01,150 father. 132 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:06,550 He can sometimes be a little insensitive. 133 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:10,750 Oh, who am I kidding? A man scares the hell out of me. 134 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:17,650 Ben, I'm sure he's not the ogre you're making him out to be. 135 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:22,070 Come on, I want you to call your father and tell him we're having dinner 136 00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:24,390 together. I'll charm him off his feet. 137 00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,510 Charm him off his feet? 138 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,910 It's just what my mother used to say. 139 00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:31,750 God bless her, she died trying. 140 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:40,020 This is good. This is good. I got a real feeling about this partnership. I think 141 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,679 we're doing something really special, John. 142 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,840 Okay. Read back what we got so far. 143 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,700 Lance Anderson says hi. 144 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,160 I like it! I like it! 145 00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:52,180 Yeah, well, I don't. 146 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:58,660 Why? Because I thought of it? Oh, come on, Kurt. For the thousandth time, Lance 147 00:08:58,660 --> 00:08:59,840 would never say hi. 148 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,140 What? You're not the kind of man that can hide. 149 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:04,720 Fine. 150 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:05,860 Have it your way. 151 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,740 Oh, come on. What are you doing? Oh, you know Lance so well. Why don't you ask 152 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:11,840 him what I'm doing? 153 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,220 Look, look. 154 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,660 Kirk. Don't! You touch me. 155 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,500 Kirk, we're getting nowhere. 156 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,120 Look, we have to establish some ground rules. 157 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,940 I mean, if we're going to work together, we have to be mature enough to 158 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,260 encourage each other and respect each other's ideas. 159 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,810 Okay? Okay. Come on, let's get back to work. All right. 160 00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:38,370 Okay. Forget about hi, forget about hello. 161 00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:43,330 All we really need is for Lance to walk in, pick Vicki up in his arms, and carry 162 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,730 her into the bedroom. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 163 00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:48,130 That's good. 164 00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:49,790 Very good. 165 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:56,950 They kept and tumbled onto the bed where they slipped. 166 00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,450 and glide on satin sheep. 167 00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:03,790 They make mad, passionate, loud. 168 00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:06,430 There's a flurry of hands correcting flesh. 169 00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:10,530 They make mad, passionate, loud. Yes! 170 00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:12,650 Repeatedly. Yes! 171 00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:14,230 Yes! Yes! 172 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:20,670 Completely spent, they call it sleep, and he covers his arm. 173 00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,610 The next morning, they wake up. 174 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:25,750 He looks into his eyes. 175 00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:27,270 I smile. 176 00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:34,890 Lance takes her face in his hand, looks at her tenderly, and he says, Hi, 177 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,050 Lance. 178 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:39,130 Lance would never say hi. He says no. 179 00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:40,610 I 180 00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:49,390 am 181 00:10:49,390 --> 00:10:50,710 not nervous. 182 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:55,220 Will you stop telling me I'm nervous? You're one who's nervous. 183 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,800 I'm not nervous. 184 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,920 Oh, my God, he's here. 185 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:06,280 Ben, stop it. Now, you go ahead. I'll join you in a minute. I've just got to 186 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,000 my face. But, Louise... Ben, you're going to be just fine. 187 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,860 Now, just march right over there and don't let him treat you like a little 188 00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:16,620 Okay. Good. 189 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,300 And stop slouching. 190 00:11:26,030 --> 00:11:27,030 Hi, Dad. 191 00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:28,389 Great to see you. 192 00:11:28,390 --> 00:11:30,270 Dad, you look terrific. 193 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:35,370 Well, come over here, son. Give your father a nice, big, warm handshake. 194 00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,410 Listen, Dad, there's something I want to tell you. Oh, good. There's something 195 00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:41,410 I'd like to tell you, too. 196 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,910 Over here, honey. 197 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,890 Ben, meet Sarah, your new stepmother. 198 00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:50,190 Stepmother? Hiya, Ben. 199 00:11:53,270 --> 00:11:55,170 Here was destiny, Ben. Right here. 200 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:59,640 Yeah, we were on the same wavelength right from the very first moment we met. 201 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,440 took one look at her, and she knew exactly what I wanted. 202 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:05,380 Double Whopper large fries. 203 00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,620 So naturally, you decided to get married. 204 00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,020 Well, I know Ben. 205 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,720 Sarah's just a puppy. 206 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:18,320 When a guy and a gal are in love, what's the little age difference? 207 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:22,780 Well, I'm glad you said that, because there's a gal I'm in love with, and 208 00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:24,760 there's a little age difference in our relationship, too. 209 00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,260 Oh, good boy. 210 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,119 You see? 211 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,100 The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 212 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,260 That's my Louise. That's her talking to the waitress over there. 213 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:33,980 Oh, come on. You're pulling my leg. 214 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:37,580 You picked the oldest woman in the room just to make a little joke on me? 215 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:42,140 Sorry to keep you all waiting. 216 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,920 I was in the older lady's room. 217 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,440 apologize for that little snafu before there. 218 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:02,300 It's just when I first saw how mature you are, I just, uh, well, I never 219 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,860 that you'd be my little Ben's girlfriend. 220 00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:05,459 Of course. 221 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:06,900 It could happen to anyone. 222 00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,960 Unfortunately, it happened to happen to me. 223 00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:14,700 Oh, how's everybody doing over here? 224 00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:17,820 Oh, Kate, I can't tell you how good it is to see you. 225 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:21,340 Kate is a friend of ours. She owns the restaurant. Kate, this is my father. 226 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,360 Oh. Oh, well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. 227 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,560 Connors. Oh, then you must be Ben's little sister. 228 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,060 Now I'm his stepmother. 229 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,380 Excuse me, I have to go into the kitchen. I believe I smell something 230 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,300 Bertie. 231 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,800 Well, you sure got lucky snaring my little boy, huh, Lois? 232 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:47,800 It's Louise. 233 00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:49,420 Oh. 234 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,880 But, you know, you do sort of look like a Lois. 235 00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:53,460 Louise. 236 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,320 Sorry to keep you guys waiting. 237 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,960 You folks ready for a drink? 238 00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:02,140 Oh, yes, please. I'd love a glass of white wine. I'll have the same. Me too. 239 00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:03,140 too. 240 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,900 I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to see some ID. 241 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,060 Oh, how embarrassing. 242 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,720 This happens all the time. 243 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,320 Here you go. 244 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,580 Take it, take it, take it. 245 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:20,339 Thank you. 246 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:21,600 And the young lady? 247 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,700 Okay, I'll have a Coke. 248 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:34,140 Well, where did you two first meet? 249 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,800 Oh, at the community center. Louise runs a support group there. 250 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,840 Oh, so you're like a therapist? 251 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:45,840 No, I counsel people who are recently divorced, separated, or widowed. 252 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,300 Which of those are you? 253 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:48,920 Widowed. I killed him. 254 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,970 She's kidding, Dad. She's kidding. 255 00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:54,610 Tell Dad you're kidding. 256 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:56,170 You tell him I'm kidding. 257 00:14:56,710 --> 00:14:57,710 Excuse me. 258 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,190 So, where did you two go on your honeymoon? 259 00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:07,090 SeaWorld. It was always a dream of mine to ride Shamu. 260 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,430 Would you like a drink, ma 'am? 261 00:15:11,850 --> 00:15:15,690 Who told you to call me ma 'am? He told you to call me ma 'am, didn't he? Give 262 00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:17,790 me a drink and don't call me ma 'am. Yes, sir. 263 00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:26,670 I can tell by your body language that things are going extremely well. I've 264 00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:30,830 never been so humiliated in my life as being a complete ass. 265 00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,770 Oh, Ben's father's giving you a hard time, huh? 266 00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:35,390 I'm talking about Ben. 267 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:42,310 He's so intimidated by his father that he's allowing him to rip me to shreds 268 00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,010 he's not doing one thing about it. 269 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:47,250 I'd rather mind to go over there and break a chair over both their heads. 270 00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:51,850 Oh, you don't want to break a chair over anybody's head. The worst thing you can 271 00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:53,910 do right now is to lose your temper. 272 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:58,470 Louise, will you come on back to the table? Dad thinks you don't like him. 273 00:16:00,470 --> 00:16:01,870 Here, use my chair. It's heavier. 274 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,930 Ben, have a seat. 275 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:07,890 Sure. 276 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:15,990 Ben, your charming father made all those snide remarks about me and you just sat 277 00:16:15,990 --> 00:16:16,990 there. 278 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:22,680 What does it take to shake you up? Louise, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I 279 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,100 should have stood up for you, but I've never been able to handle him. 280 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,260 I just thought if we could get through tonight, then he'd go away and we could 281 00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:29,260 get back to our lives. 282 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,400 All right, then. 283 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,860 I guess I shouldn't have pushed you into this. 284 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,260 I disappointed you. 285 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,800 No, no. 286 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,240 Come on. 287 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,940 Let's get back to the table. I'll be good. I promise. 288 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,520 But, Bill, I don't want to give up my career. 289 00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:51,900 Who says a married woman can't be a drum majorette? 290 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,520 Glad to see you two. 291 00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,800 Sarah and I were wondering where you went off to. 292 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,520 Well, it's nice to be missed. 293 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,020 Well, good, good. 294 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,940 Louise, would you pass the bread, please? 295 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,359 Pass the bread? 296 00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:10,000 That's it. I've had it. 297 00:17:10,579 --> 00:17:13,720 Louise, I'm sorry. I'm not going to let him talk to you like that. 298 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:15,740 Ben, I don't like the tone of your voice. 299 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,760 Well, get used to it. My voice has changed. 300 00:17:19,819 --> 00:17:23,560 What kind of hypocrite are you anyway, criticizing my relationship because of 301 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,060 our age difference? And here you are married to a girl who's a hell of a lot 302 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,300 younger than Louise is, older. 303 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,780 It's none of your business who I'm in a relationship with. 304 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:36,740 I chose to be with this woman because she's beautiful and sensitive and 305 00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:40,320 intelligent. And if you can't accept us, that's just too darn bad. Come on, 306 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,320 Louise, let's go. 307 00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:44,950 Ta -ta. 308 00:17:45,090 --> 00:17:46,090 Nice to meet you. 309 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,690 I'm so proud of you, Ben. 310 00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:55,530 You finally stood up to your father. 311 00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:58,490 What do you say we go back to your place as fast as we can? 312 00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:00,770 Feeling a little amorous, are we? 313 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:02,350 No, I think I'm going to throw up. 314 00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:11,590 Oh, good. That's the perfect way to start scene two. Yeah, and dead. 315 00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:18,060 Lance. walks into the meat locker and he finds Angela and Charles frozen in an 316 00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:19,060 embrace. 317 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,780 But he doesn't know what to do because he loves Angela and he hates Charles. 318 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:29,520 So, he thaws them out with a blowtorch. 319 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,160 And he bludgeons Charles to death with a veal shank. 320 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:35,580 You're a genius. 321 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:36,900 No, you're the genius. 322 00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,060 Come on. 323 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,480 You know, John, I have a feeling this idea might be too good to waste on that 324 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,260 soap opera. You know, you're right. You're right. This could be a movie. 325 00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,520 could be a blockbuster. 326 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:59,400 I hate to be the voice of reality, but you just 327 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,240 started and now you're going to write a movie? 328 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,620 Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little? 329 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,080 Annie, when we write this movie, you've got to pardon it. 330 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,360 Oh, my God! 331 00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:17,590 you two were able to work so well together. Well, you know, Louise, it was 332 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:21,370 of bumpy at the start, but we kind of stuck with it. 333 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:26,850 And we both learned that when you're working with another person, you have to 334 00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:31,130 let go of your ego and open yourself to your partner's ideas. We would get on 335 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:32,130 these roles. 336 00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:33,430 That's right as fuck. 337 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:38,770 And we would just get so caught up in the whole creative process that when we 338 00:19:38,770 --> 00:19:40,210 looked at the final product... 339 00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:42,210 We couldn't tell who wrote what. 340 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,370 Hey, everybody. 341 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:49,610 Hey, Mary Beth. Listen, we got so excited about writing that scene that we 342 00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:53,250 couldn't wait to show it to you. Yes, so we hand -delivered it to the producers 343 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,250 ourselves. Right. 344 00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:55,390 So I heard. 345 00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:57,790 Oh, so, huh? 346 00:19:57,990 --> 00:19:58,990 What did you hear? 347 00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:05,890 Well, guys, there's no easy way to tell you this, but, well, the producers hate 348 00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:06,890 your writing. 349 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,240 Didn't mean to hate. 350 00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:11,300 Oh, I think they did. 351 00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:14,500 They also asked me for a picture of the two of you to put up by the front door 352 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,720 in case you ever try to get in the building again. 353 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,440 Some nerves. 354 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,200 They won't buy our script, but they want a picture of us. 355 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,040 Well, we gave it our best shot, buddy. 356 00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:33,880 Oh, and you had such dreams. I am sorry. 357 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,300 What didn't they like? 358 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,940 That scene was brilliant. It was better than brilliant. 359 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:42,440 Well, they hated that part where Amber slips into a coma. 360 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,020 Oh, that was John's idea. My idea? Come on, you came up with that. 361 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,060 Oh, and you know the part where Nurse Sophie pushed Dr. 362 00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:53,140 Hawthorne off that cliff? That was Kirk's stupid idea. That was your stupid 363 00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:56,960 idea. That was your idea. You were typing. You were typing. 364 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,140 Sorry, it was your idea. Guys, that's the one thing they liked. 365 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,680 That was my idea. 366 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,530 Great, okay, let's go. 367 00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:19,410 Donald walks to the door, and he says, So long! 368 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:21,750 Donald would never say, So long! 369 00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,089 He says, Goodbye! 370 00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:24,090 He says, So long! 371 00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:25,029 He says, Goodbye! 372 00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:25,709 So long! 373 00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:27,670 Goodbye! He says, So long! He says, Goodbye! 374 00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:28,890 So long! 375 00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:30,390 Goodbye!