1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,700 I mean, I can't tell you how disappointed I was. 2 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:09,080 I know, John. I'm so sorry I had to cancel another date on you. But, you 3 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,360 my catering business is really taking off. 4 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:15,300 You know, for example, Thursday, I have a wedding I have to cater. You know, I'm 5 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,860 starting to think the only way we're going to get to spend an evening 6 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:19,820 is if I get remarried and you cater it. 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,080 Oh, John, I do want to go out with you. I really do. Good. And I got a surprise. 8 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,940 Two tickets to Miss Saigon. 9 00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:31,750 No. Fifth row on the aisle. No. Next Saturday night. 10 00:00:32,330 --> 00:00:33,750 No. No. 11 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,490 No, I can't. I have to work. An anniversary party. 12 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,770 Oh, John. 13 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:38,850 I'm so sorry. 14 00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:40,490 Yes, so am I. 15 00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:43,010 I'll call you. 16 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:44,750 You better. 17 00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:48,410 Hey, big John. 18 00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:50,550 Oh, hi, Kirk. Oh, hey, Kirk. 19 00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:53,550 By any chance, would you be interested in Miss Saigon? 20 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:55,670 Miss Saigon? 21 00:00:56,010 --> 00:00:56,949 Yes. 22 00:00:56,950 --> 00:00:59,070 You bet I would. How much? 23 00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:00,470 A hundred bucks. 24 00:01:00,730 --> 00:01:01,730 All right. 25 00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:03,790 Tell her to be of my place at nine. 26 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:24,580 without that jerk. The lousy creep left me standing at the altar crying my eyes 27 00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:28,480 out. The man made me look like a fool in front of my entire family. 28 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,740 You think I should call him? 29 00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:33,860 Too pushy, huh? 30 00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:36,600 There you go, Joanne. 31 00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:38,580 That's the first step to feeling better. 32 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:42,660 Being able to laugh about it. Hey, pal, you see me laughing? 33 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,080 That's the second step, unloading your hostility on the nearest man. 34 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,320 Take it, Louise, Mary Beth, anybody. 35 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,820 Joanne, this group can be a real help. 36 00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:55,680 I mean, we can't tell you that you're never going to experience loneliness or 37 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,800 depression or feel the pain that comes from a guy just breaking your heart into 38 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:00,800 a million pieces. 39 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,140 But you do get a cup with your name on it. 40 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,020 Thank you, Mary Beth, for pointing out the one -to -one club perk. 41 00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:14,160 Actually, the only reason I'm even here is to get my mother off my back. 42 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,660 The day after Charlie left me, she started nagging me to get help. 43 00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:22,100 The man I love leaves me on my wedding day. And do you know what my mom says to 44 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:23,100 comfort me? 45 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,960 Joanne, darling, why do you have to take everything so personally? 46 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:33,360 She wouldn't let up. I finally made a deal with her. I told her I would join a 47 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,900 support group and she would take the plastic off the furniture. 48 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,600 That was three weeks ago. She's up to the kitchen. 49 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,520 Miss Joanne, it doesn't matter what brought you here. The important thing is 50 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,160 you're taking the first step toward helping yourself. 51 00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:46,620 That's right. 52 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:52,140 You know, when my boyfriend walked out on me, I was so mixed up and confused. 53 00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:56,700 All I could think of was, how am I going to kill him? 54 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,620 First I thought I'd shoot him. 55 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:03,620 Or push him in front of a bus. Or maybe throw him off a cliff. 56 00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:06,200 But thanks to this group... 57 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,080 I'm not confused anymore. 58 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,360 Now I know exactly how I'm going to do it. 59 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,860 Well, it's nice to know I'm not the only one carrying a grudge against the 60 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:21,880 unfair sex. 61 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,080 What's your story, Mrs. Philbert? What do you think about men? 62 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,860 Oh, I can take them, or... I can take them. 63 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:36,390 Boy, you had a rough deal, Joanne. But, you know, don't give up on men just 64 00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:37,390 because of one jerk. 65 00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:39,870 No, believe it or not, there are a lot of nice guys out there. 66 00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:41,109 Hey, late. 67 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:42,790 What is your problem? 68 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:48,790 I didn't say you had nice honkers. I said, are you from Yonkers? 69 00:04:50,810 --> 00:04:53,390 By the way, nice honkers. 70 00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,170 Well, well, well. 71 00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,470 What have we here? 72 00:05:02,359 --> 00:05:03,760 member, Joanne Singer. 73 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,280 Hello. I'm Kirk Morris. 74 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,260 If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable, please let me know. 75 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,060 What the hell is she doing in my chair? 76 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,260 That's my chair! 77 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,960 She's so typical. She's in my chair. She's touching my stuff. 78 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,220 You men are all so territorial. 79 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,960 Here, why don't you just pee on the leg? 80 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,470 the satisfaction. 81 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,850 Joanne, you're going to learn what we've all learned. 82 00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,730 Suddenly finding yourself alone doesn't have to be so terrible. 83 00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:52,790 That's right. You see, what Louise means is you can still lead a rich, full life 84 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,850 even on your own. I mean, take me for example. 85 00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:57,350 I come home every night at five o 'clock from work. 86 00:05:57,870 --> 00:06:01,910 I watch the news, do a little reading, make some dinner, listen to some music, 87 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,050 and before I know it, it's almost... 88 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:04,820 5 .30. 89 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,800 God, I hate my life. 90 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:19,220 Hey, I should have known Charlie was going to leave me at the altar. 91 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,220 You know what he gave me for Valentine's Day? 92 00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:23,560 Corn cob holders. 93 00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:26,600 I think that's the gift that dreams take me. I'm yours. 94 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,780 No, it screams, bar me, I'm yours. 95 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,660 You know, it's nice to see you smile. 96 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,780 Look, John, I really want to apologize for how I acted earlier. 97 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,300 Lately, my friends have been pointing out I'm a little hostile around men. 98 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,220 Torch one ex -boyfriend's car and right away you get a rip. 99 00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:44,860 Hey, you like theater? 100 00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:48,640 Sure. Well, I have an extra ticket to Miss Saigon next Saturday night. 101 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:52,880 You're kidding. I've been dying to see that show. I even had tickets, but I 102 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,799 returned them. 103 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,160 You returned tickets to the hottest show on Broadway? 104 00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:58,210 I had to. They were a wedding present. 105 00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:02,270 Maybe, John. Yeah, sure. 106 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,230 Oh, look at that. I've got to go anyway. 107 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,349 What's the rush? 108 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:07,570 Oh, I've got to get home. My neighbor's dog is on Letterman. 109 00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,130 Hi, 110 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:13,910 John. Hey, John just asked me to go see Miss Saiga. 111 00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:15,570 Joanne, that's wonderful. 112 00:07:15,850 --> 00:07:16,549 All right. 113 00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:18,150 Oh, it's no big deal. It's just a date. 114 00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:19,690 What am I saying? 115 00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:20,890 I've got a date. 116 00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:22,550 Excuse me, everyone. 117 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:25,890 I just want you all to know I've got a date. 118 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:28,330 Thank you very much. Go back to what you were doing. 119 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,430 Oh, listen, I am dying to know more about John. 120 00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:35,210 But I guess it wouldn't be right to ask you guys. 121 00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:36,710 No. 122 00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:41,010 John's our friend. It wouldn't be right to talk about him behind his back. 123 00:07:41,470 --> 00:07:42,449 Nice guy? 124 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:43,670 Smashing. Straight? Yes. 125 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:44,930 Same? Close enough. 126 00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:46,149 Definitely straight. 127 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:47,690 Promise. Divorced how long? 128 00:07:47,930 --> 00:07:48,649 Four years. 129 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:51,950 Seeing anyone now? Not really. Not really? He's got tons of women, but no 130 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:54,530 special? Or not really? He hasn't done it since the bicentennial. 131 00:07:56,610 --> 00:08:00,970 Does it matter? Not really. Well, see you next week. 132 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:02,129 Where are you going? 133 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:05,070 I want to get up early and start shopping for a dress for Saturday. 134 00:08:05,390 --> 00:08:06,730 Oh, what do you have in mind? 135 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:10,790 Oh, no, just some simple little thing off the rack that'll turn me into a sex 136 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:15,290 goddess. Oh, thank you, Louise, for letting me in the group. I love you. 137 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:17,130 Bye. Bye. 138 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:21,770 See ya. I can't believe she said those three little words. 139 00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,369 Marry them. 140 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:27,050 There's nothing wrong with one friend saying I love you to another. 141 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,410 No, I mean off the rack. 142 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,169 Oh, John. 143 00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:39,789 Hi, Ellen. Hi, I'm glad I caught you. Yeah? 144 00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:44,870 Listen, after all the times I canceled on you, do you still want to go out with 145 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:48,490 me? Do I still want to go out with you? Are you kidding? Of course. Yeah? Well, 146 00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:51,070 then we're in luck. My anniversary party was canceled. 147 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:55,690 I can go see Miss Daigamichi tomorrow night. Oh, wow. That's great. 148 00:08:56,630 --> 00:09:01,150 Oh, unless you ask somebody else. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I would never ask 149 00:09:01,150 --> 00:09:02,310 anybody else. No? 150 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:06,450 No. Okay, great. Then, um, so call me tomorrow and we can make all the 151 00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:08,630 arrangements. Yeah, sure. Okay, great. Okay. 152 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,250 Bye. Bye. 153 00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:13,950 Oh, this is going to be interesting. 154 00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:15,270 You. 155 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,200 Joanne and Heather squeezed into two seats on the aisle. 156 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:19,460 Very dinky. 157 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:23,020 Oh, come on, come on, Kirk. I'll just tell Joanne she can't go because I asked 158 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:23,759 somebody else. 159 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,100 Now, believe me, women understand these things. 160 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,320 They do. 161 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,120 John, John, John. 162 00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:37,040 My poor dear brain -damaged friend. 163 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:42,080 What you're going to need is an airtight excuse. Now, John, my two personal 164 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,340 favorites are the dead grandmother... 165 00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:46,170 And the coup in Guatemala. 166 00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:50,490 But if you want to hedge your bet, you could always tell her your granny threw 167 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,810 herself on a grenade during the coup, you know. 168 00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:56,370 Thank you, thank you. But I'm not going to lie to Joanne. 169 00:09:56,610 --> 00:09:57,610 Yeah, 170 00:09:57,770 --> 00:10:01,010 it's probably just as well. I mean, you'd never get away with it. Your upper 171 00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:06,190 always sweats when you lie. It does not. Well, maybe it gets a little moist. 172 00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,450 A little moist? 173 00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:11,610 John, you've got the only upper lip that has a tide. 174 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,140 Well, it was no big deal. Not like Joanne and I had a real date. 175 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,860 I just happened to have an extra ticket. 176 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:19,800 Oh, bye, you guys. 177 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,800 All right, ladies. You guys, have a good time tomorrow night. Don't do anything 178 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:27,800 I wouldn't do. Yeah, you get her home by dawn, you hear? 179 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,220 Or don't get her home at all. 180 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,240 I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to seeing this show tomorrow 181 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,240 night, John. 182 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,400 Grandma called. 183 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,480 The boat for Guatemala leaves at midnight. 184 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,080 What's he talking about? 185 00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:52,040 Oh, his grandmother's a travel agent. 186 00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:57,480 I've got to be honest with you, Joanne, about tomorrow night. Yes? 187 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:04,060 Well, the truth is, I'm afraid tomorrow night's out because... I'm sick. 188 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,260 Yeah, I'm sick. 189 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:10,320 Oh, poor baby. What's wrong? I don't know. I don't know. It's just sort of a 190 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,400 thing. I mean, I still think I'm very weak and sort of queasy, you know, and I 191 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,420 think I've got a fever. 192 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,820 Well, you feel okay, but your upper lip is sweating like crazy. 193 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,400 And then right after the show, we go to dinner. 194 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,780 A romantic candlelit dinner at the Rainbow Room. 195 00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:36,950 Oh, John, you are such a classy guy. 196 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,230 You betcha. 197 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:39,830 We better get going. 198 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,030 It's a long walk to the subway. 199 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:43,670 No, no, just kidding, just kidding. We're taking a cab. 200 00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:48,170 Good. Well, listen, I've got to freshen up. Okay, I'll just put this stuff away. 201 00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:49,370 Great. 202 00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:53,090 Better hurry. We don't want to miss the curtain. 203 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:30,850 surprise. 204 00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:33,470 Listen, thanks for stopping by. God bless you. 205 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,270 I'm not going. You look awful. 206 00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:38,470 I feel awful. 207 00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:42,790 Well, I need some rest. No, what you need is some chicken soup. 208 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,969 Kitchen in there? 209 00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:47,090 Yes, but no, you don't want to go in there. No, the place is a mess. Please. 210 00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:49,490 Oh, 211 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:53,750 John, look, it's no trouble at all. My mother made that soup. 212 00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:55,070 It's her secret recipe. 213 00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:59,460 She'll tell the bus driver all about her hysterectomy. Me, she won't tell him 214 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:00,460 what's in this damn soup. 215 00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:06,320 I'm much too weak to eat any soup. Well, I'm not leaving until you do. 216 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,000 Well, 217 00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:17,220 don't be a stranger. 218 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:19,300 Oh, listen. 219 00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,960 Better go out this door and take the service, Eleanor. 220 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,360 The angel of death. 221 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,540 Uh, hello. 222 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,840 Hello. 223 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,100 Um, John, what's going on? Uh, well... Can I ask you a question? 224 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,700 Sure. You aren't, by any chance, going to see Miss Zygon tonight, are you? 225 00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,440 Why, yes, actually we are. 226 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,680 Well, then I think there's something you should know about this liar. 227 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,380 He asked me to go first, and then he told me he was sick. 228 00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,980 So he could take you. 229 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,960 What? John, you did that? That's terrible. 230 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,920 Well, sure, if you're going to say it like that. 231 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:13,940 I hope you're happy. You have taken an already unstable woman and emotionally 232 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,500 crippled her for life. 233 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,640 Enjoy the show! 234 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,680 A lot of fun she would have been at the theater. 235 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,240 So, shall we go? 236 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,930 John. I think I'll go home. Huh? 237 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,790 I cannot believe I called you a classy guy. 238 00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:36,210 No, no, no. Oh, come on. Heather. No, no. Come on. Just give me a chance. Just 239 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:39,350 give me a chance. Uh, uh, uh, Blaine. 240 00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:51,110 Why do 241 00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:52,110 you always do this to me? 242 00:14:55,030 --> 00:14:56,890 This job will be terrific. 243 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,660 Pizza. I have to be really fast. 244 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:08,780 If I don't deliver the pizza in 30 minutes, the customer gets it for free 245 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,220 comes out of my salary. 246 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,600 Oh, how's it going? 247 00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:15,100 Great. I haven't had to pay for one single pizza. 248 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,820 Of course, I do have 200 bucks in speeding tickets. 249 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,820 Women? Yes, John? 250 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,740 No, I mean women. 251 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,340 Oh. 252 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,440 I asked Joanne out to see Miss Saigon, so she went out and she got herself a 253 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,980 dress. New shoes, new purse, a manicure, a pedicure, and a facial. 254 00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:39,900 And just because I stood her up, she sends me the bill for $682. 255 00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:44,440 It's your own fault, John. I mean, none of this would have happened if you 256 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,340 killed your grandmother like I told you to. 257 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,060 John, answer that. 258 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,200 This is incredible. 259 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,500 Tell me about it. 260 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:58,360 She got a new dress, new shoes, new purse, a manicure, a pedicure, and a 261 00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,360 for only $600. 262 00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:02,530 Marry that woman. 263 00:16:04,510 --> 00:16:10,130 Joe, I may have overreacted a bit, but you did ask for it. You broke a date. It 264 00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:16,710 wasn't a date. It was more like one friend asking another friend to share a 265 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:17,710 mutual activity. 266 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:21,170 You invited her to the theater on a Saturday night. 267 00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:23,710 Where I come from, that's a date. 268 00:16:24,390 --> 00:16:27,070 Unless, of course, the guy is gay, a priest. 269 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,480 For a relative? 270 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 I agree. 271 00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,180 Who do I? 272 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,320 Me too. 273 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,940 But I'm flexible on the relative part. 274 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:43,100 Excuse me, everybody. I don't mean to interrupt the meeting, but this won't 275 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,440 long. John, I want my money. 276 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:47,540 You're serious? 277 00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,620 She's serious. Did you hear that? She's serious. 278 00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:55,180 Look, I'm sorry about what happened. John, I want my money. Well, I'm not 279 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,180 to pay you. 280 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:57,480 I don't want to talk about it anymore. 281 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,580 End of discussion. We have nothing further to say. 282 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,020 You think I'm a jerk? Sue me. 283 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,400 Oh, Max. 284 00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:09,700 Mr. John Lacey? Yes? Here. What's this? 285 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:11,380 A subpoena. You're served. 286 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:17,500 Mr. 287 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,280 Lacey. 288 00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:29,230 You've been accused of a breach of promise regarding a date with Miss 289 00:17:30,970 --> 00:17:32,070 I plead you, sir. 290 00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,050 Definitely not guilty. 291 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,390 Your Honor, if I may indulge the court. 292 00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:38,030 Whatever. 293 00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:42,190 I made a few notes. 294 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:48,430 The battle between the sexes has been going on since the beginning of man and 295 00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:49,430 woman. 296 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:54,540 I'm sure that cavemen and cavewomen in the Paleolithic age, which, by the way, 297 00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:55,559 predates... Mr. 298 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,680 Lacey, would you jump ahead a few centuries? 299 00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:00,540 Jumping right ahead, sir. 300 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,060 Your Honor, 301 00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:11,440 this case has nothing to do with money. 302 00:18:11,740 --> 00:18:17,000 Here. Here is the $682 in cash. I don't care what happens to it. All I care 303 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,340 about is the principal involved here. 304 00:18:19,470 --> 00:18:23,270 two people agreed to go out for an evening on the town. It is their God 305 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,070 right to change their plans, to change their minds. 306 00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:32,190 I wish to cite a precedent from the 1985 Honolulu Superior Court. 307 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,090 Macalulu versus Ho? 308 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:41,430 Judge Bernstein states right here that just because Macalulu failed to show up 309 00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:44,390 at the luau, he is not responsible for paying for the pig. 310 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,210 I rest my case. 311 00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,010 Good. 312 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,320 Miss Singer. 313 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:56,220 He asked me out on a date. I blew a bundle on the outfit. He stood me up. 314 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,320 I find for the plaintiff. 315 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:00,740 Wait a minute. 316 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,760 Now, wait a minute. 317 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,640 I talked a lot longer than she did. Didn't you hear anything I said? 318 00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:10,880 Now, look, I just asked her out to a show. It wasn't a date. It was a friend 319 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,760 thing. Excuse me. I don't get my legs waxed for a friend. 320 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:19,040 Oh, and by the way, that'll be another $22 .50. Oh, yeah, sure, fine. Another 321 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,960 $22 .50, yeah, no problem. And while I'm at it, why don't I pay for all the 322 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,500 other guys who dumped on you? How about the guy that left you standing at the 323 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,780 altar? Why don't you sue him? Because I didn't, but I am suing you. 324 00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:33,700 I am tired of guys dumping on me, and you are the end of a long line, buddy. 325 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,840 oh, oh, I get it. You're taking out all the anger from your past rejections out 326 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,240 on me. You bet I am. 327 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,680 Aha! That's exactly what Ho said to Macalulu. 328 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,500 The same words. I'm telling you, it's exactly the same. 329 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000 You have my ruling. 330 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:50,680 Now, court's adjourned until 3 o 'clock. Hopefully the two of you won't be here. 331 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,120 All right. 332 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,720 Get me some barley soup and a tossed green salad. 333 00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:03,660 You don't get it, do you? You just don't get it. 334 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:09,240 You have no idea how hurt I was when I walked into your apartment and realized 335 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,680 what you had done to me. 336 00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:12,920 Yeah, well, I, uh... 337 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,440 I guess it was a rotten thing to do. 338 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,660 Is that an apology? 339 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:18,760 Yes. 340 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:22,340 I'm... I'm sorry I lied to you. 341 00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:24,800 And I'm sorry if I caused you any pain. 342 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:30,200 No, I really am. Well, I guess I owe you an apology, too. I mean, I shouldn't 343 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,980 have taken all my hostility out on you. 344 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,820 It's not your fault Billy Conroy dumped me for that redhead with the braces in 345 00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:36,820 the fourth grade. 346 00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,880 You're still angry at a guy from the fourth grade? Yeah, and I don't let 347 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,520 forget it either. I get to yell at him every Tuesday at five. 348 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,720 He's my shrink. 349 00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:53,040 Well, listen, I'm, uh... I'm glad we, um, got to work this out between us. 350 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,040 Friend? 351 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:57,460 Friend. 352 00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,680 Hey, what are you doing? 353 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,520 I have a lot of anger to work out, and Billy is expensive. 354 00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:05,480 You hear? I'd like to tell you something. 355 00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:07,930 Your mother makes lousy chicken soup. 356 00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:10,370 Aloha. 357 00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:17,410 I believe that woman cost me $682. 358 00:21:17,870 --> 00:21:18,870 Yeah, I know. 359 00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:22,870 But it's kind of like that time I went out and bought that expensive Mets 360 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:26,130 baseball jacket and then you canceled out on taking me to the game. 361 00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,730 Kirk, I know what you're getting at. And you're crazy if you think I'm going to 362 00:21:28,730 --> 00:21:31,910 pay you for that jacket. Oh, okay. Well, at least I tried. 363 00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,470 Do you remember Mac?