1 00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:06,120 You know, come on, now that you have time to think about it, what do you say? 2 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:12,520 All right, how about without your sister? 3 00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,380 Kirk, Kirk, we gotta talk. 4 00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:20,260 The Swiss watch you sold me stopped working. 5 00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:23,340 What? I want my $40 back. Let me see it. 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:29,080 Well, he's a very sensitive timepiece. Now, be honest with me. 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,000 While you were wearing this, did you do any skydiving? 8 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:34,920 Not that I recall. 9 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:39,980 Well, they're also very sensitive to magnetic fields. You weren't down in a 10 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:42,260 nuclear sub with this, were you? No, I swear! 11 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,840 All right, because they're very delicate instruments. 12 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:48,960 There, 13 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:52,140 it's going. 14 00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:56,300 Now, be careful with it. 15 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,820 For $40, and a day and a half later, it didn't work. 16 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,620 I tell Kirk to give me my money back. 17 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:08,940 Kirk, you give me my money back! Ralph, I told you I cannot get your money back. 18 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:12,920 The jeweler I bought these watches from relocated. Yeah, he moved to another 19 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:13,920 alley. 20 00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:17,220 Boy, you ought to be ashamed of yourself taking advantage of an innocent guy 21 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:20,100 like Ralph. John, you know I would never do anything like that. 22 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,500 Ralph, here. 23 00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:22,860 Take mine. 24 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:23,900 They're identical. 25 00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:25,140 We'll switch. 26 00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:26,260 Thanks, Kirk. 27 00:02:26,470 --> 00:02:29,130 Don't ever accuse me of trying to take advantage of anyone again. 28 00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:33,190 Huh. My miss. 29 00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:35,010 One by one. 30 00:02:36,730 --> 00:02:39,370 Hey, everybody. 31 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:42,550 Hi, Kate. Hi, Louise. 32 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:47,290 Louise? 33 00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:52,470 Are you okay? 34 00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:54,790 No, I'm... 35 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:01,100 group tonight might take my mind off it, but I don't think it's going to work. 36 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,160 Good night, everybody. 37 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:03,700 Wait a minute. 38 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,640 Don't go. Don't go. Tell us. What's wrong? 39 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:10,980 I just spent the last hour on the phone with my family back in England and... 40 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,560 And? 41 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:16,220 And they're flying in to visit me. 42 00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:19,580 Uh -oh. 43 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,980 Once again, PMS rears its ugly head. 44 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,080 You too? 45 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:35,140 Please, please. What's wrong with your family coming to visit you? I'm in such 46 00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:36,140 trouble. 47 00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:42,140 I told my parents I'm married. I didn't want my father to know that my baby 48 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:44,200 Nigel was born out of wedlock. 49 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,600 So you invented a husband, huh? I had to. 50 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:54,300 My father's extremely rigid and proper and already thinks I'm totally immoral. 51 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,600 Imagine, one tiny... 52 00:03:57,739 --> 00:04:01,420 involving the boys' rugby team and a girl's got a reputation. 53 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,360 Tell me about it. 54 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,460 Engine Company 39. 55 00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:19,380 And when my father learns the truth, he'll never speak to me again. He'll cut 56 00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:20,380 off from the family. 57 00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:23,100 I'm sure your mother will have something to say about that. 58 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,780 My mother's even more intimidated by my father than I am. 59 00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:31,210 And my jealous sister will be so delighted to do cartwheels all the way 60 00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:32,210 London. 61 00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:35,230 Wow, I can only do from the kitchen to the living room. 62 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,790 Isn't there anything you could do about it? How? 63 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:42,310 They're all arriving tomorrow night. 64 00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:45,090 Expecting to meet my husband, Richard. 65 00:04:46,490 --> 00:04:47,730 The brilliant surgeon. 66 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:52,190 You told them he was a surgeon? John, please. 67 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:55,610 You wouldn't expect me to marry a general practitioner, would you? 68 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:59,620 Well, I guess you're just going to have to tell him the truth then. I mean, 69 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,620 you've got no other choice. 70 00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:04,920 Unless you can get someone to pretend to be your husband. 71 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,440 No, no, no, no, no, no. 72 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:12,700 Don't look at me. No way am I going to pretend to be Louise's husband. 73 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:13,839 Now, sorry. 74 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:14,840 Forget it. 75 00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:16,220 Thank you, John. 76 00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:20,040 I knew I shouldn't have come to this stupid meeting tonight. 77 00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:39,830 Oh, you're a mummy good boy. Yes, you are. 78 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:43,870 Here you go. 79 00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:49,810 Well, Nigel, this is it. Your grandfather's here. 80 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,219 long ago. 81 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,680 I'm surprised you haven't dropped some of that weight by now. 82 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,980 Dad is parking the car. He'll be up in a minute. He just loves driving on the 83 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,080 wrong side of the road. 84 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,720 After that long trip, I bet I look an absolute fright. 85 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,300 And you'd win that bet. 86 00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,180 How do rooms round there? 87 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,460 Well, and when are we going to meet your rich... 88 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,290 Plus the misplaced McKees again. 89 00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:14,890 Richard? 90 00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:17,130 Richard? 91 00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:19,430 Richard, it's Mama. It's Richard. 92 00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:20,950 Oh, this is the mother. 93 00:07:21,590 --> 00:07:22,590 Hello there. 94 00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,610 Delighted to meet you at last, Richard. 95 00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:27,410 I'm sorry I'm late. I had an emergency appendectomy. 96 00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,970 I thought Louise said you were a brain surgeon. 97 00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:34,970 Oh, so that's why they shaved his head. 98 00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:03,750 Yes. Oh, Richard, I have something for you. 99 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:07,070 A box of Cuban cigars. 100 00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,910 Cigars? You love those. 101 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:11,330 I love them. Thank you. 102 00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:38,500 So, uh, where is the old ball and chain, anyway? 103 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,480 Ah, yo, sweet lips, Dr. 104 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:43,740 Buns is home. 105 00:09:06,030 --> 00:09:07,030 spend a lot of time away. 106 00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:08,530 Quick, 107 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:13,170 where do we keep the tea? 108 00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:15,610 Don't worry, I found it. 109 00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,250 What? You're smoking a cigar. 110 00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:22,390 This? 111 00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:23,870 Oh, yes. 112 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,910 It's been so long since I've had a good Cuban. 113 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:33,410 Now, Audrey, Mom, why don't you go back in the kitchen and make us the tea? 114 00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:34,530 We'll be right in. 115 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,300 What the hell is that idiot doing out there? 116 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,800 She's taking pictures. 117 00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:41,260 I mean, Kurt. 118 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:44,560 The same things you are, pretending to be my husband. 119 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:46,740 Please, it's your father. 120 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,460 Oh, no, just get in the kitchen and keep Mother busy. 121 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,080 You're in a lot of trouble, Louise. 122 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,140 I'm coming, 123 00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:55,780 I'm coming. 124 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,640 Father. 125 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,040 You think the wife of a doctor could afford to live in a building with a 126 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,040 elevator? 127 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:14,380 Now, where's that grandson of mine? I can't wait to give him the present I 128 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:14,979 brought him. 129 00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:17,360 Really? Yeah, your husband's bringing it up right now. 130 00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:03,510 Oh, was that Father at the door, dear? Yes, but he's having a bit of a lie down 131 00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:09,090 after the long trip. And it's also time to put little Nigel to bed. Oh, dear. 132 00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:10,550 Well, let me help you. 133 00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:21,950 I'd like to hear about the emergency lobotomy you performed. 134 00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:26,730 Lobotomy? While on safari. Safari? 135 00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:28,290 In Africa. 136 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:29,410 Africa? Last summer. 137 00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:30,469 Last summer? 138 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:34,730 Louise wrote and told us all about it. Oh, that lobotomy. Yes, of course. 139 00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:40,630 Yes, you see, there was this Kalahari bushman with a terrible temper. And no 140 00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:41,910 medical plan, by the way. 141 00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:45,170 Oh, look at him. 142 00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:49,490 Oh, he's going to make our family really proud. 143 00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:52,050 Lucky devil, he's got my nose. 144 00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:56,370 Speaking of the family nose, how's Cousin Edna? 145 00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,950 You no longer have a Cousin Edna. 146 00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,890 She had a child out of wedlock. 147 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:08,350 Never, ever speak her name in my presence again. 148 00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:12,690 Yes, but it's always nice to catch up on family. 149 00:12:13,110 --> 00:12:15,670 And it's always nice to put little Nigel... 150 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,040 bed? Uh, yeah. 151 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,780 It's, uh, quarter to three. 152 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,500 Or almost midnight. 153 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,740 I'm gonna kill that. 154 00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:29,260 You two put the baby in his crib and don't come out until you're absolutely 155 00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,700 done. He's asleep. 156 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,700 What is Rossy doing here? 157 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,620 It's about the watch, isn't it? 158 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,460 Oh, good. That knows. 159 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:45,880 Oh, yes. 160 00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:47,420 Yes. 161 00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:50,640 Oh, Louise is so lucky. 162 00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,200 Richard, I want you. 163 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,160 I want all of you. 164 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:00,980 How's this? 165 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,060 And sexual, ma 'am. 166 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,400 I could make you very happy. 167 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,620 Sarah, you don't understand. I want to, but I can't. 168 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,160 Well, there are only, um, sexual problems. 169 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,300 You guys got that written on your family thread? 170 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,640 Sarah, you got me all wrong. 171 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,120 But you got me. 172 00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:06,410 So, how are you enjoying your... 173 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:15,310 ...your 174 00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:16,310 visit to America? 175 00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:23,270 Get out of my... If you don't believe me, you can ask Richard yourself. 176 00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:27,550 Your mother just slapped my... 177 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:44,420 I'm Louisa's husband, you moron. John, leave. That is no way to talk to a 178 00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,420 doctor. 179 00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:47,260 I'll be right back. 180 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,960 We work together and save a fortune on stationery. 181 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,100 I tell you what. 182 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,840 Why don't you two go into the kitchen and make up a nice tray of tea and 183 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:47,000 biscuits? Doctors love to nibble. Especially on heirlooms. 184 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,520 I can't take this anymore. 185 00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:55,460 Well, just let the blood rush to your head. I think... Louise! 186 00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:59,440 What are you doing in another man's arms? I don't mind, Mom. 187 00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:24,470 I'm not. 188 00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:27,990 I have no husband. 189 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:31,830 Little Nigel was born out of wedlock. Oh! 190 00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,090 Oh, no. 191 00:17:00,439 --> 00:17:02,600 Oh, where have all the doctors gone? 192 00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:04,460 Which doctors? 193 00:17:04,619 --> 00:17:08,560 Some associates of Richard dropped by, but they had to leave. There was an 194 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,619 emergency at the hospital. Have some tea. 195 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,720 All right, but first I must use your bathroom. 196 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:15,079 Please. 197 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,720 But, Louise... I'll have to do first. 198 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,880 Louise, please, it was a very long flight. 199 00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:18,650 is empty, we're going right back through that window. 200 00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:24,790 That locked window. 201 00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:32,690 Very impressive. 202 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:36,090 The water's a very deep blue over here. 203 00:18:37,930 --> 00:18:40,050 That's not a wonderful idea. 204 00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:44,910 Why don't we take the baby and go for a drive in that wonderful car you rented? 205 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,270 Capital idea. 206 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:50,140 Thank you, Daddy. You'll never know how good I'll feel to get out of here. 207 00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:52,620 Hi, precious. 208 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,600 What a rough day at the hospital. 209 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,080 Who are you? 210 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,620 I'm Louise's husband, Richard. 211 00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,900 I've already met her husband. 212 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:06,900 Oh. 213 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,140 Never mind. 214 00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:30,750 without marrying his father. 215 00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:32,830 I'm an unwed mother. 216 00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:37,250 Well, this really was worth the trip. 217 00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:43,130 Any daughter who has a child out of wedlock is no daughter of mine. 218 00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:44,709 Come, Audrey. 219 00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:48,730 Come, Sarah. We're leaving. I hope this doesn't disturb you too much, dear, but 220 00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,910 I'm not going. 221 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,970 She's my daughter, too, and I still love her no matter what she's done. 222 00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:56,730 Is that all right? 223 00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:01,330 Orville, what's come over you? 224 00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:06,390 I'm warning you. You keep this up and Disney World is out. 225 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:11,550 Oh, leave them alone, Father. 226 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,790 I'm the one you're angry with. 227 00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:19,930 I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But I'm not sorry I 228 00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:22,450 made the decision to raise a child with love. 229 00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:53,690 At your mercy, a second. 230 00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:58,410 Did you hear that, Audrey? Yes, dear. 231 00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:03,530 Well, a little bastard doesn't grow up to be as stupid as I am. 232 00:21:06,070 --> 00:21:08,930 You're beginning to like me after all, aren't you, Daddy? 233 00:21:10,290 --> 00:21:13,050 I can't believe you're letting her get away with this. 234 00:21:14,310 --> 00:21:16,850 At least she doesn't still live at home. 235 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,480 and a little bit of supper afterwards. Oh, that's a lovely idea. 236 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:28,720 Oh, no. 237 00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:30,460 Rain! 238 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:36,500 I do hope it's not going to spoil our entire vacation. Oh, don't worry, Daddy. 239 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,000 It's not like the rain in England. It probably won't last for more than four 240 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,000 five hours. 241 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,340 Oh, that's all right, then. Come on. 242 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,100 A client is the liable case, and an office intern is liable to get Rollins 243 00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:16,840 trouble. This is Blair Underwood. Join us on L .A. Law next. 244 00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:21,980 And NBC's Saturday night's a blockbuster with all new episodes of 227, Amen, the 245 00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:23,500 Golden Girls, and Emptiness Saturday. 246 00:23:03,010 --> 00:23:04,290 Yes, of course you can. What is it? 247 00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:06,830 Are you ever going to get married again? 248 00:23:08,010 --> 00:23:09,010 Oh, I don't know. 249 00:23:09,990 --> 00:23:13,750 I guess if I ever met someone I could spend the rest of my life with, someone 250 00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:18,910 who would cheer me up when I was down, someone who would be there when I needed 251 00:23:18,910 --> 00:23:24,210 her, someone I could love, you know, someone who could love me, yes, then I 252 00:23:24,210 --> 00:23:25,310 think I would get married again. 253 00:23:29,570 --> 00:23:30,570 Why do you ask? 254 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,840 Because you could sure use someone to clean up this place.