1
00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,770
filmed before a live studio audience.

2
00:00:55,110 --> 00:01:00,330
It's like I told Michael Jackson, Mikey,
I don't care if they are your brothers.

3
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:01,930
Dump them.

4
00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:06,770
Fixed his nose, couple of buckles, the
rest is history.

5
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:08,770
You know Michael Jackson?

6
00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:13,150
Ralphie, you know me. I do not like to
brag, but you know the moonwalk thing?

7
00:01:13,150 --> 00:01:14,150
-huh. It's mine.

8
00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:17,350
Show him, Kirk.

9
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,810
I know I can't do it. It's a contractual
thing.

10
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:23,790
Damn. But if you like, I can tell you
about when Springsteen and I used to

11
00:01:23,790 --> 00:01:25,950
around. You know him, too? Are you
kidding me?

12
00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:28,270
I'm the one he calls the boss.

13
00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:35,850
I don't usually care for rock music, but
there's something about that Bruce

14
00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:38,350
Springsteen, isn't there? Oh, yes.

15
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,170
I think it's his butt.

16
00:01:44,150 --> 00:01:46,430
Hi, everybody. I'm sorry I'm late.

17
00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:49,470
I was out the door when I got this phone
call.

18
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,720
It was from somebody I hadn't seen since
I was a teenager.

19
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,420
Anyway, I cut it short as best I could.

20
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:56,800
Not on our account.

21
00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:59,500
No, it's okay. We agreed to meet later
for dinner.

22
00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:01,840
So, is this someone that you grew up
with?

23
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:03,260
In a manner of speaking.

24
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:05,120
So, what have I missed?

25
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,580
Anybody notice a certain something in
the air?

26
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,320
What is that?

27
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,200
Aftershave, isn't it? Yeah, but it's
such a familiar scent.

28
00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:20,110
Something tells me that this old
acquaintance of John's may just be of

29
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,150
jiggle gender.

30
00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:24,670
Listen, Craig, this is none of your own
business. It's canoe.

31
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,350
It's what?

32
00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:28,210
It's canoe.

33
00:02:28,990 --> 00:02:33,730
Oh, when I was a teenager, it was the
aphrodisiac of choice.

34
00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:40,510
Oh, God. I remember my junior prom.
Bobby Fishoff was so drenched in this

35
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:43,450
that the backseat of my parents' car
reeked of it for weeks.

36
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,020
I say backseat? Sure did.

37
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:59,980
Well, that's because Bobby always rode
in the backseat. Really?

38
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,740
Well, I would drive in the front seat,
he would ride in the backseat.

39
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:06,680
He would get carsick.

40
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,280
Poor baby.

41
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:14,580
He would ride all the way with his head
sticking out the window.

42
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,500
You sure it wasn't your feet sticking
out the window?

43
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:24,200
That's crazy. Kirk, how could she drive
with her feet out the window?

44
00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:27,260
Cruise control.

45
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:36,260
Now, John, maybe you'd like to tell us
exactly why all of a sudden you smell

46
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,200
like the boys' room at the sock hop.

47
00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:42,820
All right, all right. You've all
obviously guessed that the person I'm

48
00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:43,559
is a woman.

49
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,560
Oh, okay.

50
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:49,200
And the reason I'm wearing this
particular cologne is it just happens to

51
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,580
I was wearing at the time we met.

52
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:55,070
Oh, well, so I guess it's safe to assume
that this is an old flame?

53
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:58,790
Well, I mean, yeah, sort of.

54
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:03,630
All right, look, if you really must
know, it's the first woman that I ever,

55
00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:04,770
well,

56
00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:06,530
you know.

57
00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:10,150
No, I don't know.

58
00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:15,930
I never know. You always know. I don't
ever see her.

59
00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:20,890
She's the one who left his pony out of
the barn.

60
00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:30,630
Oh.

61
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,130
Did you ever get it back?

62
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:36,750
No, Ralph.

63
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:41,870
She's the woman to whom John surrendered
his virginity.

64
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,290
This stuff is called canoe?

65
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,720
I remember my first time.

66
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:58,220
It was a beautiful, moonlit night.
Night, early spring, sultry breeze.

67
00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,440
I'm walking in the park.

68
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:04,080
I come across the classiest, most
beautiful, most gorgeous woman I have

69
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:08,140
seen. One thing leads to another. We
head off to her apartment, and that is

70
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,500
where I fired the shot.

71
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,700
Heard around the world.

72
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:20,740
I remember my first time. It was at a
tea dance in Hampstead Heath.

73
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:27,580
Freddie Smythe Tarkington walked over to
me, bowed just the way he'd been

74
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:31,780
taught, and very politely asked if he
could have the pleasure.

75
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,300
So I went upstairs and gave it to him.

76
00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:41,820
What about you, Kate? Tell us about your
first time. Uh, I think she just did,

77
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:46,360
remember? Little Miss Framqueen grinding
gears with backseat Bobby.

78
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,520
Why don't you tell us about your first
experience?

79
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:59,140
Uh, can I wait until our next meeting to
talk about that?

80
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,680
Of course you can, dear.

81
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,480
I've got my work cut out for me this
week.

82
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:11,400
John, you started all this. Tell us
about your passage into manhood.

83
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:14,120
Well, you know, I can remember it like
it was yesterday.

84
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,500
It was the summer after I turned 15.

85
00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:21,430
And I was at this resort in the
Catskills with my parents.

86
00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:26,310
I was at the pool one day, and I just
had a great backflip.

87
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:30,570
And I was laying out on the towel, and
suddenly I hear this female voice

88
00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:31,670
Hello?

89
00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:37,830
So I look up in the sun, and there were
these long, long legs. I mean, they went

90
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:38,830
on forever.

91
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:42,210
Somewhere at the top, somebody had built
a beautiful girl.

92
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:46,130
I mean, you can't imagine what she
looked like.

93
00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:47,370
Who can't?

94
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:53,520
Her tawny, supple form straining the
flimsy fabric of her French bikini.

95
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:54,540
please.

96
00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:00,620
Well, anyway, as it turned out, Yvonne
and I, you know, we kind of got to

97
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,980
talking and, well, we hit it off.

98
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:06,400
So much so that she asked me to meet her
at the golf course at 11 o 'clock that

99
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,280
night. Sounds like a pretty good tee
-off time.

100
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:16,440
Yeah, well... I, uh... She brought along
this bottle of Portuguese red wine.

101
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:21,200
Boy, I tell you, between what she looked
like in the moonlight and that wine,

102
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,340
she was a fantasy come true.

103
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:29,380
So, at 11 .20 on the fifth fairway, I
became a man.

104
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:32,740
And what about it do you remember, Beth?

105
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,800
Trying to replace the divots.

106
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,880
You know, you'll never guess what I said
to her when we were done.

107
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,240
What?

108
00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:48,030
Gee whiz, you're some nifty lady.

109
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,390
John, was this her first time, too?

110
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:55,870
No, I don't think so, Ralph. She's a
little older and a lot more experienced

111
00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:56,689
than I was.

112
00:07:56,690 --> 00:08:00,110
And how long did you two maintain
contact?

113
00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:06,410
Perhaps I should rephrase that. No, it's
okay.

114
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:10,730
I don't know. She left the next morning,
and I never saw or heard from her

115
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:11,730
again.

116
00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:14,270
So where are you two going tonight?

117
00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:18,170
Oh, we're just going to have a drink
around the corner, and then I've got

118
00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,150
reservations for this little restaurant.

119
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,670
Which little restaurant?

120
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,070
Le Chardonnay. Ooh.

121
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,630
How romantic.

122
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:30,870
Isn't that the restaurant over by the
golf course?

123
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:32,270
Uh, no.

124
00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:35,590
No, Kirk, it's not by the golf course.

125
00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:40,210
All dressed up, aftershave, romantic
restaurant.

126
00:08:40,909 --> 00:08:44,630
Seems to me like you're trying to
rekindle that old flame.

127
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:49,450
Yeah, well, what's so bad about trying
to relive one of the most exciting

128
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:50,810
experiences of my life?

129
00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:53,910
I'd love to relive my first time.

130
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,130
Took place on a submarine.

131
00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:02,610
Really, dear?

132
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:06,910
I didn't know that they allowed women in
submarines.

133
00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:10,590
Well, they don't as a rule, but...

134
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,860
The crew took a vote.

135
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:28,500
John, I don't think I can lose my
virginity this week.

136
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,700
Monday's my standing appointment with
the dermatologist.

137
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,240
Tuesday is my day to clean the turtle
tank.

138
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:39,500
I have my allergist on Wednesday.
Thursday, I spend all day in the

139
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:43,660
line. By Friday, I'm so exhausted, it's
all I can do to make it to the meeting.

140
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:48,180
What am I talking about? My life's so
full. Who's got time for women?

141
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,240
Oh, there she is.

142
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,120
Oh, thanks for the talk, John.

143
00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:59,060
You're such a great listener.

144
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,320
Yeah, any time, Ralph.

145
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:03,450
Well.

146
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:04,870
Hello.

147
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:06,850
You look terrific.

148
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,190
Thank you. That's very sweet.

149
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,170
How about me? Have I changed?

150
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,630
Well, that's hard to say.

151
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:18,190
I've never met you before.

152
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,230
You mean you're not Yvonne?

153
00:10:22,630 --> 00:10:23,630
No.

154
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,550
Then I'm making a complete fool of
myself.

155
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:28,370
It would seem so.

156
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:31,210
Yes, well, I'm sorry. My mistake.

157
00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:32,870
It's all right. Sorry.

158
00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:36,230
Doesn't mean you don't look great.

159
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,390
John. Hi.

160
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,210
It's me, Yvonne.

161
00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:45,530
Oh, yes, of course.

162
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:50,750
Yvonne, I'd know you anywhere. It is so
good to see you.

163
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:52,090
Yeah.

164
00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:54,990
Come, let's sit down.

165
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:58,910
Boy, you haven't changed a bit.

166
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:00,810
Well...

167
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,260
I don't know about that, but thanks
anyway.

168
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,240
So, uh, what are you drinking? Oh, well,
actually, I don't have time for that.

169
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:11,340
And about dinner, I'm afraid I have to
cancel.

170
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:12,940
Oh, really? Uh, no.

171
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,520
Oh, gee, that's too bad.

172
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,480
Well, uh, listen, I understand
completely.

173
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,920
I haven't told you the reason yet. The
reason? Say, listen, we go back 30

174
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:22,960
Who needs reasons?

175
00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:26,960
I'm supposed to go to Connecticut to
visit my grandchildren.

176
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,140
Grandchildren? You have grandchildren?

177
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,180
I so rarely see them, I just couldn't
say no.

178
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:37,960
Yes, well, of course, I understand
you're wanting to go up there. I mean,

179
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:42,680
probably never get enough time to play
with them. No, not since they went away

180
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:43,680
to law school.

181
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,420
Law school.

182
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,420
Well, listen, I'm really sorry this
didn't work out. I mean, maybe when

183
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:54,720
in town next time we could try again.

184
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,100
And hey...

185
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:58,310
Let's not let it be another 30 years,
okay?

186
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,430
Oh, great. What about next Saturday?

187
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,150
This year?

188
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:07,510
A week from tomorrow, about 7 o 'clock.

189
00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:09,190
Well, uh, sure, fine.

190
00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:10,630
Oh, and John.

191
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:16,190
Yeah? You know, I was thinking, instead
of going to a restaurant, why don't we

192
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:18,570
find some place that's a little more
private?

193
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:22,450
Private? You know, some place that's a
little more intimate.

194
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:25,650
Intimate? What about your apartment?

195
00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:31,630
My, uh... Well, I can always bring that
Portuguese red wine that you like so

196
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:32,730
much. Remember?

197
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,290
Yes, of course. The Portuguese. How can
I forget?

198
00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:36,530
Next weekend.

199
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:37,850
Uh, fine.

200
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:41,810
Oh, I can hardly wait.

201
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:03,730
Oh, John, how did it go with the old
flame?

202
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:07,370
Yeah, you two go for that little bounce
down memory lane.

203
00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:11,810
Please, Kirk, it's none of our business.

204
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:15,650
The man asked you a question.

205
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,930
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you all,
but there's really nothing to report.

206
00:13:21,950 --> 00:13:25,230
She had some last -minute family
obligations and couldn't make the dinner

207
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:29,390
all. She'd rather be with her family
than the Lothario of the Lynx.

208
00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:34,240
Well, she said she hadn't seen her
grandchildren in a while, and...

209
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,820
Grandchildren? Just how old is this
woman?

210
00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:41,840
Well, she's, uh... What's the difference
how old she is? Well, let me ask you

211
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:42,699
this, John.

212
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,180
If the two of you went to the movies
together, could one of you get in for

213
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:47,180
price?

214
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,420
Look, uh, suffice it to say that when we
first met, she was somewhat older than

215
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,220
I thought she was, and she's even older
now.

216
00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:58,460
Oh.

217
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,120
Oh, it's a good thing she had other
plans, John. Sounds like you really

218
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,120
bullet.

219
00:14:03,780 --> 00:14:06,160
Or should I say musket ball.

220
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:09,020
Listen,

221
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,320
I'm not sure that I've dodged anything.

222
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,060
She wants to come to my apartment
tomorrow night for dinner.

223
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,180
I don't know what to do.

224
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,240
You can always make a nice salad.

225
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:23,240
No, Ralph. There's that delicious salmon
you make. No, Ralph, don't you

226
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,240
understand? The problem is she's coming
over tomorrow night. She's not

227
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,860
interested in dinner. She's interested
in me.

228
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:31,220
John, John, don't you think you might be
jumping to conclusions?

229
00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:36,000
She's coming to my apartment tomorrow
night to have an intimate evening to

230
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
up for lost time.

231
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,440
She's even bringing a bottle of our
favorite wine.

232
00:14:39,740 --> 00:14:42,460
Yep, sounds like she's ready to do the
back nine.

233
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:52,240
Come on, John, she's an older woman.
Maybe she just needs someone to talk to,

234
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,380
shoulder to lean on. A lap to sit on.

235
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,370
to nibble on.

236
00:15:01,470 --> 00:15:03,530
A face to suck on. Oh.

237
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:12,090
All right, that's it. I'm canceling. I'm
canceling. Why, John?

238
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:15,090
Because she's looking for a romantic
evening and I'm just not interested.

239
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:19,110
Well, whatever happened to Gee Whiz,
your sum nifty lady?

240
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:21,240
Yeah, you were interested a week ago.

241
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,440
Well, last week I still had this
romantic fantasy from 30 years ago. But

242
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,820
reality is, there's nothing between
Yvonne and me anymore. I mean, there's

243
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,600
chemistry. And there was back then?

244
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,840
There was chemistry.

245
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:37,160
John, you told us that this woman came
into your life at a very critical

246
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:42,520
juncture. You were needy and insecure,
and she did wonders for your self

247
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,680
-esteem. Well...

248
00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:49,730
Did it ever occur to you that she may
have reached a point in her life where

249
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:53,650
self -esteem could use a little
bolstering? Louise is right.

250
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,450
Now, what's wrong with giving her a
little romance?

251
00:15:57,010 --> 00:16:01,890
You know, a nice bottle of wine, some
soft music, a candlelit dinner?

252
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:04,270
Well, when you put it that way, I... I
don't know.

253
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,450
For dessert, she could be expecting a
heaping portion of John Jubilee.

254
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,980
Hey, wait a minute. You know, Kirk is
right.

255
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:15,800
I mean, if I set up a romantic evening,
she's liable to expect that we're going

256
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,900
to end up in bed together.

257
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:18,860
What would be wrong with that?

258
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,960
Seems like she did something nice for
you once.

259
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:27,800
Well, I mean, if you sleep with someone
just to spare their feelings, don't you

260
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,800
think they know it?

261
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,440
Not if you do it right.

262
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:33,820
Hubert.

263
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:49,960
Ah, Yvonne.

264
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,640
For you.

265
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:57,300
Do you greet everyone who comes to your
door like this? Yes, of course.

266
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,020
Except for the newspaper boy.

267
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,160
Wouldn't want the neighbors to get the
wrong idea.

268
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,320
May I take this?

269
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,639
Thank you.

270
00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:08,920
Oh, I see you brought the wine.

271
00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:13,260
Portuguese red, just like I told you.

272
00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:14,579
Please, have a seat.

273
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:15,720
Thank you.

274
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:18,720
Would you mind if I open the wine now?

275
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,240
Oh, that would be nice.

276
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,280
Would you like to smell the cab?

277
00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:31,440
Oh, excellent.

278
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:32,980
I thought so.

279
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,420
So, did you have any trouble getting
here?

280
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,040
No, I was lucky.

281
00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:40,880
I had an English -speaking cab driver.

282
00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:42,220
Oh, good.

283
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,020
So I guess he's working tonight, huh?

284
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,240
Oh.

285
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,320
So how was Connecticut?

286
00:17:57,820 --> 00:18:00,380
Oh, it was beautiful.

287
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:05,020
Yes, I always say Connecticut is my
favorite section of New York.

288
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,040
So what have you been doing with
yourself all week?

289
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,260
Oh, everything.

290
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:17,210
the museum. Oh. Did you catch that O
'Keeffe exhibit at the Metropolitan?

291
00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:18,990
Oh, it was wonderful.

292
00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:21,910
I could have spent the whole day there.

293
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:23,350
Yes, I know what you mean.

294
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:29,090
I, uh, I don't know which one of her
paintings are my favorite.

295
00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:36,990
I guess, uh, what with the cityscapes
and the, uh, the wonderful barns and

296
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,890
exquisite flowers.

297
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:45,950
John. Yes.

298
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:48,670
What's going on?

299
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:51,210
What do you mean?

300
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:52,950
Your hand.

301
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,150
My hand?

302
00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,150
What is it doing?

303
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:00,690
Doing?

304
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,430
Why is it there?

305
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:08,390
Isn't that what you came here for?

306
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:11,110
No.

307
00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:14,150
You mean you didn't expect...

308
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:15,490
To sleep with me tonight?

309
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:16,950
Sleep with you.

310
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:21,430
Oh, God.

311
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:25,770
Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

312
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:29,870
Well, you don't have to laugh at me.

313
00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:36,410
Oh, come on. It's not such a crazy idea
now.

314
00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:40,790
Look, I admit I'm not Paul Newman, but
on the other hand...

315
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:43,160
It really is kind of funny, isn't it?

316
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,340
It is funny.

317
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,400
Oh, come on, it's not that funny.

318
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,780
Oh, I'm sorry.

319
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:56,840
Listen, I'm really very confused. I
mean, if you didn't come here for that,

320
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,020
why the wine? Why my apartment?

321
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:05,440
Because I wanted to say something to
you. I wanted to tell you how guilty

322
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,360
been feeling all these years.

323
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,160
Guilty? Why?

324
00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:12,160
Because I took advantage of you.

325
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,320
You're a sensitive 15 -year -old boy.

326
00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:21,500
I was lonely, and I used you to fill a
need, and then I just vanished out of

327
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,339
your life.

328
00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:24,180
You mean to say that's what this is all
about?

329
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:25,780
That's it.

330
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,940
But I did realize one thing.

331
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,920
I don't have to feel guilty anymore.

332
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,860
Because you have turned out to be such a
terrific guy.

333
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:38,840
Hey, listen.

334
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,990
Let me tell you, I mean, you don't have
to feel guilty anymore.

335
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:44,890
I mean, I was a gawky, klutzy kid.

336
00:20:45,550 --> 00:20:49,610
And you, you were a dream come true,
Yvonne.

337
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:51,110
Oh.

338
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:57,730
Well, now that we got that out of the
way, I feel a lot better.

339
00:21:01,330 --> 00:21:03,390
So, shall we?

340
00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:06,990
To us.

341
00:21:07,070 --> 00:21:08,009
To us.

342
00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:09,330
And the Portuguese red wine.

343
00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:30,510
Gee whiz.

344
00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:33,210
You're some nifty lady.

345
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:45,880
This Monday on the Fox... So, you meet
the woman of your

346
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,460
dreams, but there's something about her
that might be a problem.

347
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:53,560
Mike Myers stars in the hilarious
comedy, So I Married an Axe Murderer,

348
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,760
at 8. You're watching Fox 29, again.