1 00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:02,389 All. 2 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,140 John is filmed in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:12,040 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 4 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:13,920 So, 5 00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:16,100 Ralph, how's the job search going? 6 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,940 Will you get off my back? 7 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,440 Why don't you just say it? 8 00:01:22,780 --> 00:01:23,880 I'm a failure. 9 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,340 Why don't you just give me an old wine bottle and a paper bag and tell me to go 10 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:29,500 sit out on the curb? 11 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:32,820 Nice going, John. 12 00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:38,150 to stick some electrodes under his fingernails. 13 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,150 It's bamboo under your fingernails? 14 00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:42,149 Oh, yeah? 15 00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,150 Ms. Expert? 16 00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:46,810 And how many times have you been worked over by the Ayatollah's boys? 17 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:51,230 Any of you! How many times have your cries echoed in the night as you were 18 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:53,790 worked over by a team of sweaty, swarthy men? 19 00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:55,690 Not as often as I'd like. 20 00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:59,770 I tell you what, forget I asked, all right? 21 00:02:00,390 --> 00:02:05,410 I think now might be an opportune time for a break. Shall we say... 22 00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:26,800 noticeable by the week. Noticeable? Try obvious. 23 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,120 I'll say. 24 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:32,300 We should probably say something. We've got to say something. How can we not say 25 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,660 something? Damn right. 26 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,360 About what? 27 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:42,280 Uh, Ralphie, have you not noticed that Louise's stomach is, well, uh... Uh, 28 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,060 grown rather dramatically over the past few weeks? No, Ralph. 29 00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:47,900 Oh, that. 30 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,360 Yeah, I guess you're right. 31 00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:53,340 As friends, we should say something to Louise. 32 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,060 whether she likes it or not. 33 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,300 Whether I like what or not? 34 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,200 Come now. 35 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,440 You know it's not polite to talk behind one's back. 36 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,600 You're absolutely right, Louise. 37 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:17,940 The truth is, we couldn't help noticing that you're really fat. 38 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,800 I mean, just look at the way you've let yourself go. 39 00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:25,430 lines of rumor. 40 00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:30,470 You're bulging out of your clothes. And all because you just can't seem to stop 41 00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:31,950 stuffing your face. 42 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:39,530 I can see there's no sense in denying it any longer. Yes, I'm pregnant. 43 00:03:40,190 --> 00:03:43,010 What? Oh, no. I don't believe it. 44 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,310 Who would have guessed? 45 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:48,410 You're very polite not to have mentioned it sooner, considering the way I look. 46 00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:50,170 Oh, no, no, no, Louise. 47 00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,450 Louise, really, it's, uh, barely. 48 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,380 Noticeable. Yeah, right. I mean, John's right. Louise, you hardly show. 49 00:03:58,180 --> 00:04:00,280 So, what does the doctor say? Triplets? 50 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:01,880 Look, 51 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:07,400 Louise, if you'd really rather not talk about it... No, no, no. I'm delighted to 52 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:12,080 talk about it. I've been wondering over the last few weeks how to broach the 53 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,080 subject. 54 00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:18,820 Kate, Kate, it's the most thrilling and exciting thing that's ever happened to 55 00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:21,260 me. I'm sorry, excuse me, but a question... 56 00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:25,510 Pops to mind here, you being with child and all, in other words, the knock -up 57 00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:32,310 E. I was just wondering if you would share with us the identity of 58 00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,190 Mr. Humpty Dumpty. Oh, come on. 59 00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:39,290 Please. Could you possibly be any more insensitive? 60 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:43,690 What? I mean, we're talking about a fairly important individual here, right? 61 00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:49,070 father of this woman's child. I fail to see anything insensitive in inquiring as 62 00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:50,070 to who that might be. 63 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,040 Assuming you've been able to narrow it down. Oh, come on. 64 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,480 Would you knock it off? It's all right. 65 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:02,620 His name is Richard. We dated for a couple of months. 66 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,280 Oh, well, how did you two meet? 67 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:09,300 He came in to lay my carpet. One word and I staple your tongue to your shoe. 68 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:16,040 Uh, Louise, may I ask you a question? And I hope that you don't think this is 69 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,040 too personal. 70 00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:19,830 Was this deep pile or shag? 71 00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:24,670 Louise, Louise, if you don't mind my asking, what does the father have to say 72 00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:25,670 about all this? 73 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,270 He doesn't know I'm pregnant. 74 00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:32,830 We broke up a while ago, and I haven't spoken to him since. 75 00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:39,050 Well, Louise, Louise, when do you plan on telling him? I don't see any reason 76 00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:40,050 tell him. 77 00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:44,230 Knowing Richard, I have a guess that he'd be far happier not knowing. 78 00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:46,050 No, wait a minute, wait a minute. 79 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,170 this man got you pregnant and you're not even going to tell him? I've been 80 00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:51,790 looking for a woman like this all my life. 81 00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:57,030 Now, listen, I'll tell you one thing I sure would want to know. What you do 82 00:05:57,030 --> 00:05:59,910 know? No, I mean, if I was the father of Louise's child. 83 00:06:00,870 --> 00:06:07,170 You mean there's a chance you could be... Now, Louise, you see, I'm saying 84 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:10,050 don't have to make a big production out of it. I mean, all you have to do is 85 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:14,110 just call him up and tell him you'll meet him for a drink tomorrow afternoon 86 00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:16,530 the bar around the corner. I mean, and simply... 87 00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:20,270 Tell him. John, I'm afraid it's not as simple as that. 88 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:24,090 I'm sure it isn't, but I'm just saying, speaking for myself, if there was a 89 00:06:24,090 --> 00:06:28,150 child of mine out there, or in there, I sure as hell wouldn't want to know 90 00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:29,150 myself. 91 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:32,690 You know, Louise, I must say, I have to agree with John. 92 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:34,950 Father has a right to know. 93 00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:41,310 Look, it isn't as if I haven't given this long and careful thought. Believe 94 00:06:41,370 --> 00:06:42,370 I have. 95 00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:47,660 And I'm afraid... I've made up my mind, and there's nothing that anyone in this 96 00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:53,680 room could say that would sway me in the least. And I agree with you 100%. 97 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,380 I'll call him right now. 98 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,080 It isn't very crowded in here, is it? 99 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,360 No, ma 'am. Good. 100 00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:15,110 the way I want it. I'm meeting someone. 101 00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,590 That's nice. 102 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:28,290 John! 103 00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:37,370 What are you doing here at two o 'clock in the afternoon? 104 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,750 Oh, Louise, there you are. 105 00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:42,210 I, uh, I was, uh, I was, um... 106 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:45,950 I just thought I'd come down here and be with you in case you needed somebody. 107 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:50,190 That's very sweet of you, dear, but are you sure you're not also here because 108 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:54,370 your curiosity got the better of you? Oh, come on, Louise. Who could be that 109 00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:57,970 nosy that would intrude upon a private moment like this? 110 00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:03,390 This is wonderful. 111 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:04,810 Just perfect. 112 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:08,690 Why don't we just ask the couple over there to join us, too? 113 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:11,670 I don't mind if we do. 114 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,860 You know how persuasive Tom can be. 115 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:36,940 No, we really just came down here because we care about you. Yeah, yeah, 116 00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:41,720 and okay, maybe we are a little curious about this guy. 117 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:47,020 So why don't you sit down? 118 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,720 So, uh, have you decided what you're going to say yet? 119 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:55,300 It's difficult. I'll have to choose my words very carefully. 120 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:59,530 Have you thought about saying it? in verse... I beg your pardon? 121 00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:06,330 Well, I took it upon myself to prepare a short poem that I thought might be 122 00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:07,830 appropriate for this occasion. 123 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:15,750 The cause of my condition could be many and myriad, but it's been eight months 124 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,170 since I had my last... 125 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:23,910 It's just 126 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,030 the first draft. 127 00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:42,070 John. Hey, everybody. 128 00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:45,070 I'm sorry about my appearance. I just came from a really tough job. 129 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,930 Been on my hands and knees all morning wrestling with the Persian. 130 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,150 Believe me, honey, I've been there. 131 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:51,550 Yes. 132 00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:53,650 Thank you, Mrs. Filbert. 133 00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:57,850 Listen, actually, we were just leaving. Yeah, we got to... We were? 134 00:09:58,530 --> 00:09:59,530 Yes, Ralph. 135 00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:05,510 Yes, we were. You know, we have to go to that thing. 136 00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:09,680 You know, Ralph, at that place? Yeah, you know, with... Those guys? 137 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,240 What are you talking about? 138 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,740 Ralphie, we're trying to pretend we've got to do something so Richard doesn't 139 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,280 think we're just here to spy on him. 140 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:30,540 We have to go to that place to do that thing with those guys. 141 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,360 You understand. 142 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,600 Yes, I'm sure he does, yes. 143 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:35,879 Nice to meet you, Richard. 144 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:36,880 Nice to meet you. 145 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:45,640 So, surprised to hear from you. I was afraid you'd forgotten all about me. 146 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,700 No, and I have a feeling I never will. 147 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,740 You haven't changed a bit. 148 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,140 Oh, I don't know. 149 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:58,900 So what's new? 150 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,000 This is. 151 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:07,940 You're not talking about the dress, are you? 152 00:11:14,670 --> 00:11:19,930 I didn't call you because I wanted to involve you or make any claims on you 153 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:25,410 money or anything else. I... I just thought you had the right to know. 154 00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:26,410 all. 155 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:27,930 I don't believe this. 156 00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:30,110 There's no doubt about it. 157 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:32,770 All right! 158 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:33,970 Drinks for everybody! 159 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:41,510 Okay, drinks for us, then. But none for you, because pregnant ladies shouldn't 160 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:42,710 drink. Okay, drinks for me, then. 161 00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:46,160 What am I talking about? I don't drink. Cancel the drinks. 162 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:51,000 This is wonderful. This is the best news I've ever had. I cannot wait to call my 163 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,020 parents. Richard, are you sure that they need to know? 164 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,660 You don't expect me to wait and tell them to them at our wedding, do you? 165 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:01,200 Wedding? We've got a million things to do in a hurry. We've got to plan the 166 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,780 honeymoon. We've got to choose the vows. We've got to find the minister. 167 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,700 You hear that, little guy? Your mom and dad are getting married. 168 00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:26,740 interview today. 169 00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:36,380 It's from an ad I found in the classifieds. 170 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,620 It was in Manhattan. 171 00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:46,880 23rd Street between 6th and 7th. 172 00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:52,660 So, Ralph, how did it go? 173 00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:04,690 with Richard Goh. 174 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:16,850 Sorry, Louise. What did you say? 175 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,030 Excuse me. 176 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:28,310 Does anyone understand what she's saying? Yeah, I do. She said... 177 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,180 I don't think she's exactly happy about this. 178 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:52,060 Well, how can I be happy? I can't marry him. It's out of the question. I mean, 179 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:58,640 we have nothing in common and very little to talk about. And most 180 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:03,340 importantly, I'm just not in love with him. 181 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:09,620 Well, if you're going to look for reasons... Louise, Louise, 182 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,260 how did he take the news? 183 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,850 get around to telling him. 184 00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:18,130 What? Why not? 185 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:23,350 Well, he was... He was so excited. I didn't know how to break it to him. 186 00:14:23,670 --> 00:14:26,850 Well, Louise, what's the rush? You know, why don't you just let the baby grow up 187 00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:28,050 and then have the kid tell him? 188 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:29,290 Oh. 189 00:14:30,930 --> 00:14:34,910 Louise, uh... Obviously, Louise, you're gonna have to let him know. 190 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:40,510 He's such a dear, sweet boy. How can I break his heart? I mean, I couldn't even 191 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:44,890 bring myself to tell him that the carpet he put in for me is curling up. 192 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,040 be able to handle it better than you think. 193 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:55,440 Well, he's pretty committed. He's even picked out a rug for the nursery. 194 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,180 A burba. 195 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:01,920 With bunnies. 196 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,360 Listen, Louise, I would like to say something. 197 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:11,660 Whatever happens between you and Richard, I just want you to know that 198 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,720 comes to that baby, you're not going to be alone in this. And I think I speak 199 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,980 for everyone when I say... 200 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,020 that we're going to be here for you, Louise. Absolutely. 201 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,640 Thank you very much. 202 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:26,020 And if you need a Lamaze coach, that's wonderful, Katie. And as far as 203 00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:30,380 babysitting goes, Louise, any night you say. That goes for me, too. That's very 204 00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:31,400 sweet of you. 205 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,900 And someone should throw a baby shower for you. Yeah. 206 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,520 Hey, what do you say? Tomorrow afternoon at my place. 207 00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:37,860 No, 208 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,520 no, no, I insist. 209 00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:43,440 Four o 'clock tomorrow, is that good for everybody? Yeah. Well, I'd have to 210 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,780 cancel my Swedish massage. 211 00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:47,430 But no problem. 212 00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:50,470 I'll give it to you on Sunday. 213 00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,450 This one's from Kurt. 214 00:16:01,930 --> 00:16:03,130 What is it, Louise? 215 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:07,650 Oh, a thousand and one names for your baby. Thank you, dear. Well, I figured, 216 00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:12,830 you know, naming a kid can be tricky, so... You know what my parents wanted to 217 00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:13,830 call me? 218 00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:15,050 Stranger? 219 00:16:23,530 --> 00:16:27,850 Oh, it's a gift certificate for three -month rental on a video camera. 220 00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,190 Just in case you wanted to videotape the birth. 221 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:31,850 That's very thoughtful. 222 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,330 Thank you very much. 223 00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:40,790 When I have a kid, I'm going to videotape the conception. 224 00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:48,110 You know, I look forward to it. 225 00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:49,830 I love short subjects. 226 00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:03,060 Ralph, you mentioned the gang was throwing a shower for you. 227 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,380 Yeah, I got all kinds of great stuff. Of course, we don't know what we're 228 00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:08,920 having, so I had to get a little of everything. I got this big bear. 229 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:11,140 And you can't go wrong with bears, right? 230 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,839 Well, you know, unless, of course, you scare the bear. In that case, I got him 231 00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:15,839 this little bear. 232 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,920 That way he can work his way up to the big bear. 233 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:21,760 In case he doesn't like bears at all, I got him this giraffe. 234 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,960 He doesn't like giraffes. Of course, he might not be a him, he might be a her, 235 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,000 but I got it covered. I got this doll. It walks, it talks, it laughs, and it 236 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,180 cries when it sees the bear. 237 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,620 Richard, the doctor says we're going to have a boy. 238 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,060 A boy? All right, a boy! 239 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,740 It just keeps getting better. I always wanted to have a son. 240 00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,560 I got some more stuff for him down the truck. 241 00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:50,620 Goodness. Hey, I am so excited. You know, I was thinking, why wait? Let's 242 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:51,620 married tomorrow. 243 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,020 Forget tomorrow. Let's get married this afternoon. 244 00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:55,760 Richard, please stop. 245 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,320 You and I have to have a little talk. 246 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:00,740 Okay. 247 00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:11,900 We'd like to talk private. Oh, yes. Why don't we just... Perhaps 248 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:16,840 a tad more private? 249 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,140 Yes. Why don't we go downstairs and bring up the rest of the gifts? 250 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,960 Oh, that'd be great. Thank you. 251 00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:24,179 We'll be right back. 252 00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,180 Okay. 253 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:30,500 Oh, remember that thing we did at that place with those guys? 254 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,000 We gotta do it again. 255 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,940 You don't understand. There really are gifts. 256 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,640 Oh! 257 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:41,660 So, 258 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,880 how you feeling? 259 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,120 How's my little baby? 260 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:53,020 But, Richard, you and I have something we have to discuss. 261 00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:55,200 In a minute. Just let me listen to the baby first. 262 00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,100 Oh. 263 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,380 Something going on down there. 264 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:04,180 Yes. I had the burrito supreme for lunch. 265 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:09,280 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a baby. I can hear it moving around in there. 266 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,700 Richard, please get up. 267 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:14,800 I've got something very important I want to tell you. 268 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:16,560 Don't go away. 269 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:18,960 What is it, sweetheart? 270 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:26,200 Richard, you're a wonderful man. You're sensitive, attractive, 271 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:33,600 industrious, and you know more about carpeting than any man I've ever met. 272 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,940 You mean that? 273 00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:37,840 With all my heart. 274 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,560 You hear that? That's your old man she's talking about. 275 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,200 Richard, please listen to me. 276 00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,800 Um, I can't marry you. 277 00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:54,200 What are you talking about? 278 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,620 Think about it. We have nothing in common. 279 00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:01,680 We barely know each other. I mean, for instance, what color are my eyes? 280 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:02,920 Green. 281 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,200 What's my middle name? 282 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,600 Claire. 283 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,080 What's my favorite song? 284 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:08,500 Stardust. 285 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,080 Well, there's more that goes into marriage than knowing one's eye color, 286 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,260 name, and favorite song. 287 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,000 Honey, what's this all about? 288 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,180 I'm not in love with you. And I think if you really thought about it, you'd 289 00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:31,420 realize you're not in love with me. If we were, we'd never have stopped seeing 290 00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:33,020 each other in the first place. 291 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,480 Yeah. 292 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,740 I guess I just wanted to do the right thing. 293 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,240 My mother always used to say, if you get a girl pregnant, you have to marry her. 294 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,780 Well, I'm sure she was just trying to teach you responsibility. 295 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,040 She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to my father. 296 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:02,640 So you understand? 297 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,280 I guess so. 298 00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:11,020 What about the baby? 299 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:15,260 Who's going to teach him to ride a bike? Who's going to take him to the ball 300 00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:18,160 games? Who's going to talk to him about girls? 301 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,520 Well, you are. 302 00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:23,510 You don't have to be my husband to be this child's father. 303 00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:27,750 I promise you, you'll have all the rights of fatherhood. 304 00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:30,310 Except one. 305 00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:34,410 Of course, I won't be able to sleep with you. 306 00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,630 Well, let's not jump to conclusions. 307 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:45,330 What I had in mind was that I insist on naming the child myself. I want 308 00:21:45,330 --> 00:21:49,210 to call him after my father, Nigel. 309 00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:53,020 Wow, that is exactly the name I was going to pick. 310 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,780 And I thought we had nothing in common. 311 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,060 Look at this. 312 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:17,580 One of the first talks we have 313 00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:18,580 to have is about... 314 00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:20,020 this child. 315 00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,320 You're not mad at me, are you? Of course not. 316 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,820 Good. Let's hear this one more. 317 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:34,500 This is for you. 318 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:44,520 This is Corbin Bernstein, Arnie Becker of L .A. Law. 319 00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:47,860 Rox, if you need a divorce lawyer, I'll be there for you. 320 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,820 Now he's suffering from a fatal attraction, while Cusack better eat his 321 00:22:51,820 --> 00:22:56,720 when he defends an Olympic athlete with an undesirable emotional profile on L 322 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,679 .A. Law. 323 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,720 Next. And in four days, you may never escape from the dead of night.