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It seems today that all you see is
violence in movies and sex on TV.

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But where are those good old -fashioned
values on which we used to rely?

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Lucky there's a family guy.

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Lucky there's a man who finds a new man
who all the things we make up. Laugh and

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cry. He's a family guy.

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Hello, tech support?

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Yes, my time machine is giving me error
code 17.

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No, I did not make love to a bear on it.
Shh! But if some bear did have his

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world rocked on this thing, would that
void the warranty?

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Oh boy, time machine trouble? You know,
there's one time machine that never

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breaks and is always ready to take you
anywhere, anytime.

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A good book. Sorry, my dog is very
cringe.

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I'm Brian Griffin, and tonight we'll
take my time machine to three periods in

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history. I don't know, I think he's
doing like court -ordered community

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Let's start with the story of the French
Revolution.

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The year was 1789.

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King Louis XVI and his wife, Marie
Antoinette, were throwing Moulin Rouge

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parties, many of which devolved into
orgies, covering the walls with yicky

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-yicky -ya -ya -ja -ja. More songs per
minute, louder songs!

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Everyone must get a Boss Lerman
headache!

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Yes, Your Majesty.

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God, I love French dancing. If there's
anything hotter than women standing in a

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line and kicking their legs up really
high, I haven't seen it. Bad news, King

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Louie. France is in massive debt.

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What? Well, just the music clearances on
these Baz Luhrmann sequences alone are

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bankrupting the monarchy.

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Oh, dear.

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But our hard -working French laborers
are already working up to four hours per

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week with only winter and summer off.

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Can nothing be done?

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I think we should levy a tax on the
peasantry. No.

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No taxes.

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We could always cancel your Vootube
premium account, and you can just launch

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regular Vootube with the ads. Let's do
the taxes.

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Man, things sure are getting bad here in
France.

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You said it.

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I even got laid off from my job
pitchforking loose hay here and moving

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there. The whole French economy is based
on slightly moving loose hay.

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Bad news, guys. I'm here to collect some
taxes.

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What? The king is levying a land tax and
a head tax.

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A head tax?

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But that could be thousands.

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Also, now there's a salt tax.

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But the head tax ends in something for
which there'd be a salt tax.

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I say, Robespierre, there's a lot of
unrest brewing here in France.

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You're right, Danton. We should take
advantage and foment a revolution.

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For the people. Oh, yeah, no, for the
people. And definitely not for our own

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personal advancement, to where we go
nuts with power and chop off everybody's

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heads and eventually even each other's.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah, for the

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people. Remember that for later, for it
is foreshadowing.

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I'm Chris Griffin, and I don't only do
masturbation stuff.

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Citizens of France, we need a
revolution.

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That's right. King Louis has destroyed
the French economy.

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Also, it'll be another couple hundred
years before the Arab immigrants show

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but let's start getting angry about that
now.

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These guys are making a lot of sense.

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We do need a revolution.

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Yeah, I can't wait for the new symbol of
France to be a woman with her boob

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hanging out. I call dibs on waving a
flag on a barricade. I'm kind of a

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barricade guy.

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The time has come to join our
revolutionary club, the Jacobins. Can I

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Jacobin club? Because I'm just
constantly Jacobin. I mean, at least

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times a day, you'll find me Jacobin. I'm
Chris Griffin, and I still do some

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masturbation stuff.

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More bad news, Your Majesty.

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Paris suffers a bread shortage.

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Oh, no.

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What should we do, Swedish baker?

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Let them eat cock.

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That's perfect because France currently
has a dangerous surplus of cake. Marie

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Antoinette, if you could tell everyone
to get busy eating cake, that would

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famously help things.

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It won't just piss people off.

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Nah, they'll love it.

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Down with the king.

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And down with Marie Antoinette. She's
not French. She's from Austria.

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Austria is our rival.

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Who are you people?

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We're a mob of unemployed losers
scapegoating a lady.

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That's when good things happen. To be
fair, we're mad at all the French

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except that one super cool pointing guy.

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So rad.

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We, the citizens of France, hereby place
the king and queen under arrest.

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Let's put them in prison. Yeah. And I'm
taking this magic beauty and the beast

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clock that comes to life and sings.

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It's just a regular clock.

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Aw. Regular candlestick. Aw.

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Welcome, citizens, to the new
revolutionary regime.

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That's right. There's going to be some
changes in France.

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From now on, every time we say hello to
each other, we will get two little

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kisses on the cheek. Little kisses for
everyone.

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All right. Should we show them,
Robespierre? I think they get it. You

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pretty clear. We stand for freedom and
equality.

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And we can announce this now. It is
official. There will be a season six of

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Emily in Paris.

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So give yourselves a big hand for that.
You did this, every one of you.

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Anyway, freedom and equality and civil
rights for every man.

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How about rights for women?

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No, just dudes.

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We hereby sentence the king and queen to
death.

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Any final words?

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Yeah, not the cake thing again. Then no.
Please destroy the oil paintings under

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my mattress.

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And now for Marie Antoinette.

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What? What happened?

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Oh, boy.

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Marie Antoinette's novelty fake neck was
provided by Jacques' Joke Shop of South

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Attleboro, France.

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Gotcha, guys.

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Good one, Marie. Remember, if it ain't
ho -ho -ho, it ain't worth Jacques.

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Okay, brutally kill her now.

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Yeah,

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that was fun.

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But before you all go, we have a few
surprise bonus executions today.

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The King's Gendarmes.

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That lady who yelled that thing at the
meeting.

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J .K. Rowling, because you know why.

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This dude Josh, who's the first guy to
post a photo of a beach and write, my

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office for the day.

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Oh, and Danton.

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What? Oh, you bitch. I was going to do
this to you.

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This is awesome. And the best thing is
that it'll for sure never happen to me.

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I know I wanted to be head of state, but
this is... Oh, my brain's stopping.

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I can't believe we did the whole French
Revolution and not even a single song

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from Les Mis. Les Mis is set during the
rebellion of 1832, not the French

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Revolution of 1789.

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Oh, that's stupid.

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Damn it, Meg. I told you to stop taking
my jog bras.

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I haven't. Well, they're missing, and
there's no other explanation.

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Look, you both need to stop counting
your bras. It's not important where they

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went. Sometimes families have conflicts.
But did you know that at one point in U

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.S. history, family members actually
went to war with each other? What? What

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this? It's community service. He got
arrested for something.

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What'd you do, Brian?

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Let's take our next historical journey.

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I heard he got caught stealing mobile
orders at Starbucks.

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Does he look like his name is Rashid?
Our historical journey to the year 1861.

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They're going to remember what Rashid
looks like, Brian.

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It was 1861.

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when America was inaugurating a new
president.

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I, President Abraham Lincoln, vow that I
will have an open mind.

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The back of my mind, in particular, will
be very open and exposed.

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That's also foreshadowing. Brian said I
could keep helping out. I'm grateful

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that you elected me. And right away, I
want to apologize for my mentally ill

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wife. What the hell?

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My nickname will be Honest About
Everything Except That One Thing Abe.

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Nine and a Half Inch Abe. You can call
me either one. Yeah, right. She's loony,

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guys. Absolutely deranged. Anyway, I
predict that America's got good times

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ahead, so long as our map doesn't have a
bunch of arrows and explosions.

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But America did have a bunch of arrows
and explosions and narrations by voices

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like this. Also, slow fiddle music,
which I have to play myself because we

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our whole music budget on the Moulin
Rouge stuff.

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I did this on America's Got Talent, and
Howie Mandel made wisecracks at my

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expense. Anyway, war had come, and 600
,000 brave mustaches would be lost

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as Brother marched off to fight Brother.

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Hey, so the uniforms came in the mail,
and they sent one of each.

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Weird. Yeah, the gray ones are from
Louis Vuitton, and the blue ones are

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Maxx, so...

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That's fine. I'll be Union.

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Cool. I like the gray because it matches
all the dead guys everywhere.

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Wish me luck. I'm off to fight the
Battle of Bull Run.

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So that sucked.

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Ah, well, the good news is I'm staying
at Bull Run, and there's no way there'll

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be a whole second battle there.

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You're not gonna freaking believe it.

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The arrows and explosions are getting
closer to DC.

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We're not going to be able to save the
Union.

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Maybe instead of fighting to save the
Union, we should be fighting to end the

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evils of slavery and ensure freedom for
all Americans.

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All right, I'm putting you in a home.
This is why I sleep with guys.

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I, too, believe the aim of the war
should be to free the slaves and make

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Americans equal.

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Thank you, Frederick Douglass. You're
right. Black men should be free.

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That's what I'm talking about.

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And sent up to the front line as
soldiers.

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Say what now? Don't worry. You're in
good hands with General Ulysses S.

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America's most strategically gifted
alcoholic.

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The South keeps looking at me.

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I swear to God, if the South looks at me
one more time, I'm going down there.

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No, no, no, be cool, man. You think
you're better than me, South? Be cool,

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00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:12,050
cool. We got to concentrate on our most
important objective, protecting

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Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

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00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:16,250
Isn't Gettysburg just fields and fence
posts?

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Gettysburg is a cultural and economic
metropolis.

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Sacrifice every last man, if necessary,
to protect Gettysburg, PA.

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But Sue was right.

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Gettysburg sucks.

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If you can make it there, you'll make it
anywhere.

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00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:33,960
Gettysburg. Everyone must die to save
it. There's literally like eight people

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the whole town. We're not going to argue
this further. I'm late for my cuddle

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00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,840
nap with Joshua Speed, who everyone
should go ahead and Google.

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00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,740
This is fine. It's fine. I just can't
afford my own mattresses all.

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00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,300
Mattresses cost like a billion dollars
because it's olden times.

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This conflict keeps dragging on, am I
right? I tell you, you put the Civil War

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00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,730
on ABC, it'll be canceled in 13 weeks.

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Now, that Confederate recruit we saw
earlier, he went on to be a stage actor,

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00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:08,690
based in D .C., so clearly his career
sucked.

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00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:11,550
But then he booked a Gettysburg Cemetery
gig.

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00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:15,230
Finally, the big break for John Wilkes
Booth.

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00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,660
Civil War saves 70 slaves. Civil War
saves 70 slaves.

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00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:22,440
Civil War... Excuse me, Mr. Booth? Aye,
yes, that is how I'm listed in the

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00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,500
program, but I was hoping to use my full
name, John Wilkes Booth Romaine Stamos.

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00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:28,660
Yeah, well, sorry, but we're bumping
you.

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00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:29,900
What? Why?

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00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:33,320
President Lincoln just showed up. He
wants to workshop some new material.

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00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,900
Okay, so, four score and seven years
ago.

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00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,420
Wait, wait, what's that mean? A score is
20 years. So just say 87 years ago.

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00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,760
I like it this way. You're going to lose
everybody from the first line. They're

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00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,940
all doing math in their heads.

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00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:50,180
It's fine. It's not fine. You're here to
boost morale. This is like the

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00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:51,960
opposite. You're giving them algebra
homework.

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00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:53,259
Here, try this.

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00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:56,620
Sorry I got here late. I couldn't find
the Gettysburg address.

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00:11:58,700 --> 00:11:59,900
Yeah, I don't know.

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00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:01,140
Oh, come on, it's perfect.

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00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,740
Open with a huge joke. Boom, now you got
him. Hey.

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00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,220
Hey, bub, you can't just go bumping
people.

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00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,920
I don't know what you're talking about.
Forget him. He's just some butthurt

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00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,200
actor. Look, whatever this is about, I'm
sorry.

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00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:13,520
I respect actors.

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00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:14,920
How about you give me a head shot?

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00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,840
Foreshadowing. Now, let's have a big
hand for Abe Lincoln.

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00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:22,160
Thanks, bub. Now, I understand Mary
Todd's here today, because we all know

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00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,100
Lincoln doesn't go anywhere without his
beard.

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00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,320
Oh, Bob.

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00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:30,620
Finally, in 1865, the southern capital
of Richmond fell.

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00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:35,170
War's over, Grant. You gotta go to
Appomattox and meet the southern leader.

228
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:38,610
know the guy? General Lee? All right, do
some research on him first. Oh, I know

229
00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:39,670
the guy backwards and forwards.

230
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:42,090
General Lee. Right, but I need you to
know him specifically.

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00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,370
I do know him specifically.

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00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:47,090
General Lee. Look, you know the guy?
Yep. You know him generally? Yep. You

233
00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:48,090
know him more than generally.

234
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:51,170
Know who more than generally? The
southern leader. The guy you know

235
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,210
That's right. I do know him very well.
General Lee.

236
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:56,250
That's the problem. What's the problem?
You say you know him generally.

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00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:59,810
I do. I need you to be an expert on the
guy. I am an expert on him. But you

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00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,530
just... I'm friends with the guy. We
fought in the Mexican war together. I

239
00:13:02,530 --> 00:13:05,730
studied his every move. There is no one
on the planet who knows him better than

240
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:09,070
I do. Okay, just to be sure, you are an
expert on the southern leader.

241
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,400
Completely, totally, absolutely,
generally.

242
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:17,840
In our nation, it was a difficult time
politically, but a simpler time

243
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:23,560
comedically. The fighting was done, and
no more would Americans wage civil war

244
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,160
until 2028, probably.

245
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:31,520
But this story ends on a theater balcony
with Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln.

246
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:35,910
Hey, how about you just go by Mary
Lincoln, huh? But Todd is my family

247
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,730
I keep it to honor my heritage.

248
00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:42,370
Demented. Somebody call a man with a big
net. That's the latest in mental health

249
00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,370
technology.

250
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:51,690
Lincoln was dead, and Booth would shout
the motto that has become etched in

251
00:13:51,690 --> 00:13:53,710
history. Did I do that?

252
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:59,110
Lincoln's assassination was filmed in
front of a live studio audience.

253
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,460
Did you guys notice that the final
Dilbert is just Dilbert checking

254
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,060
genitals outside the ladies' restroom?

255
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:11,940
Office stuff.

256
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:16,260
Ah, Peter's enjoying a joke. Well,
here's a joke for you. Six million Jews,

257
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:19,880
gypsies, communists, and intellectuals
are loaded onto a train car.

258
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,500
Only this joke actually happened.

259
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:23,760
How is that a joke?

260
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:27,740
He's doing his community service. He
attacked one of them grocery robots or

261
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:31,700
something. The year is 1939, and war has
come to Europe.

262
00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:34,690
Well, the arrows and explosions are
back.

263
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:39,130
Also, I'm back. On account of I've been
getting a lot better on the fiddle since

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00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,130
the last time.

265
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:42,290
Not bad, right?

266
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:45,470
You'd be surprised how much fiddle you
can learn on YouTube.

267
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,830
Hey! Play Mumford and Son!

268
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:49,350
I'm not playing that.

269
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:54,010
Pretty soon, the Brits were forced to
seek cover in their subway system.

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00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:56,910
What they called the tube, eating french
fries.

271
00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,410
Of course, they called them chips.

272
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,240
Truck is a lorry.

273
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,880
Let's see. What else?

274
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,700
Weird little country.

275
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:04,980
Hello, Franklin?

276
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:08,720
President Roosevelt, can you hear me?
Churchill, this thing's in England.

277
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,660
Good? No, it's awful. We're getting
bombed by the Nazis over here. They're

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00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,640
blitzkrieging through Europe. They took
Paris.

279
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,000
Oh, no, not Paris.

280
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,060
Please tell me the pointing guy is okay.

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00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,340
I love that guy.

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00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,920
Yeah, can you help us out, Franklin?

283
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,880
You got me at a bad time, Churchill.

284
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,900
It's me and Eleanor's date night.

285
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,040
Eleanor, where are you going?

286
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:32,260
Me and the girls are going to go play
lacrosse and just jab our thumbs

287
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,880
Eleanor sure loves hanging out with her
lady pals.

288
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,660
FDR may not help us, and I heard Russia
is signing a pact with Hitler. So as my

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00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:48,520
top general, I need you to go to Moscow,
find their leader, and figure out how

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00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,420
to prevent this. Don't worry, sir, I
will. And I'll stop Stalin.

291
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,660
Great. I'm glad you're not delaying your
departure, but do you have a plan for

292
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:55,419
when you get there?

293
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,480
Absolutely, sir. And what is it? To stop
Stalin.

294
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:58,700
How is that a plan?

295
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:01,720
I thought you wanted me to stop Stalin.
Of course I want you to stop Stalin.

296
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,000
This is a grave and important matter. So
then we do agree on the plan. Which is?

297
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,600
To stop Stalin. But I...

298
00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:12,450
Comedically, World War II was also a
simpler time.

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00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:17,530
Turns out, America's efforts to stay out
of the fracas came to naught once the

300
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:19,430
Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

301
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:24,330
December 7th, 1941, a date that I
probably knew was coming but allowed to

302
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:27,340
happen. I mean a date which will live in
infamy.

303
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,340
The United States... What?

304
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:35,300
What's going on? It's your wife and her
friends. They're arguing over power tool

305
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,300
brands again.

306
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,640
DeWalt! RYOBI!

307
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,120
Girls and their construction equipment,
huh?

308
00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:44,640
Eleanor, could you ladies please keep it
down while I'm doing radio to America?

309
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,080
This is fine.

310
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,099
It's fine.

311
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:50,500
Lots of first ladies have their gal pals
move into the White House with them,

312
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:51,540
which I did for real.

313
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,760
Super normal.

314
00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:54,060
RYOBI.

315
00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,300
Gentlemen, we're here to plan an
amphibious assault on Normandy.

316
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,780
Stay on target.

317
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,640
Almost there.

318
00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:05,839
Stay on target.

319
00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:09,180
Private Ryan, you've switched off your
targeting computer. What's wrong?

320
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,720
Use the force, Matt Damon.

321
00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:13,970
Cut it out, guys. This is important.

322
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:15,970
Oh, yeah, totally. Okay, first question.

323
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:18,690
Yeah? Is there toilets inside of tanks?

324
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:22,150
I mean, there has to be, right? They're
not going to stop the war just to let a

325
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:23,150
guy take a crap.

326
00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:26,750
I think they just go right in the
barrel, and then the next shot is like a

327
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:27,990
shot. Can we please focus?

328
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:32,070
We're focusing. We are laser focused on
planning for today.

329
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,370
I think we're calling it D -Day.

330
00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:36,810
Oh, okay. See? I'm already learning
stuff.

331
00:17:37,350 --> 00:17:41,290
The enemy has landed at Omaha Beach and
is heading east.

332
00:17:41,630 --> 00:17:45,270
The Allies are planning an Italian trip
and will be shooting tons and tons.

333
00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:50,570
And now, the Greeks die, the Soviets
die, and the Germans die.

334
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:51,870
Oh, no!

335
00:17:52,390 --> 00:17:53,390
It's okay.

336
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:57,910
As soon as Marine Captain Georg von
Trapp from the mainland of Austria

337
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,490
to the service, everything will be fine.

338
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,350
My lord, von Trapp...

339
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,760
Oberst von Trapp und seine Familie
were able to flee to Switzerland because a

340
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,640
Nuns had damaged a jeep.

341
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:22,020
With everyone who believes that we do too
without the von Trapp family

342
00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:26,400
Third Reich talent show
I had to organize it privately

343
00:18:41,539 --> 00:18:46,420
My leader, we still have them
Third prize winner Miss Schweiger.

344
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:48,300
Lady who keeps booking herself.

345
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,940
It was a strange moment, my
Leader.

346
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,080
It was a little.

347
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:58,840
Sure, it's amusing, but that's it
you can't build a whole show. It will

348
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,420
boring. It's pretty boring
become.

349
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,800
Look how annoyed Max was at the end.

350
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:09,920
I don't understand these speakers.

351
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:15,180
Oh, maybe watch less TikTok
and more Sound of Music on, you idiot.

352
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:20,220
FDR beat the Germans, but he wouldn't
live to see victory in the Pacific.

353
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:23,230
For that, the torch was passed to Harry
Truman.

354
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:28,450
Listen, Harry, Hiroshito wants to
surrender. It's time to go make peace

355
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:31,350
Japan. Got it. Go to Japan and nuke
Hiroshima.

356
00:19:31,650 --> 00:19:33,670
No, no, no, no. They're ready to
surrender.

357
00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:35,370
You need to make peace with Japan.

358
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:40,530
Okay. Good. Now repeat it back to me.
Okay, I nuke the city of Hiroshima in

359
00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:42,550
Japan. No, Japan wants to surrender.

360
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,090
Make peace with Japan.

361
00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:45,670
Right, and nuke Hiroshima.

362
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:46,990
No, no, no, no.

363
00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:48,510
And et cetera.

364
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,440
Due to wartime rationing, we've had to
keep reusing our Pat Tillman bit from

365
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:58,480
2007. Thanks for doing your part to make
sure all the fresh new jokes are safe

366
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,760
for our troops overseas.

367
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,280
Eventually, Japan did surrender.

368
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,340
Don't worry too much about why.

369
00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:06,740
The war was over.

370
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:12,800
At last, America can celebrate with lots
of non -consensual kissing.

371
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,920
Don't worry, your husband will never
find out.

372
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,590
Lunch with the girls, huh?

373
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,070
Susan, probably!

374
00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:30,630
Also,

375
00:20:36,850 --> 00:20:40,690
you might receive an email from the
Quahog County Courthouse confirming that

376
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:43,010
provided volunteer educational services.

377
00:20:43,290 --> 00:20:46,090
If you could just go ahead and click the
link and fill out the short web form,

378
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:47,210
I'd really appreciate it.

379
00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:54,290
So it turns out you can legally buy
Jenna Ortega as many new bed sheets as

380
00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:55,870
want. You just can't deliver them in
person.

381
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,250
So we all learned something this week.

382
00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:00,090
Sleep tight, Jenna.