1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,709 Let's go. Let's go. 2 00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:06,079 We're gonna be late! 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,039 ADULT SHELDON: Fun fact... the first time 4 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,309 I almost died was at the age of nine. 5 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,509 The murder weapon? 6 00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:13,579 A Jimmy Dean sausage. 7 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,420 [CHOKING QUIETLY] 8 00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:21,120 Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me. 9 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,390 Sheldon! 10 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,119 ADULT SHELDON: In fairness to Mr. Dean... 11 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,949 - Honey! - This one morning, I decided 12 00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:30,469 to forgo my normal 20 chews per bite, 13 00:00:30,470 --> 00:00:33,000 as prescribed by the American Medical Association. 14 00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:34,550 George, help! 15 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,239 Come here, boy. We got it. We just got to smack it out. 16 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,939 ADULT SHELDON: To further complicate matters, 17 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,769 in any real-life crisis, 18 00:00:42,770 --> 00:00:46,149 my family's default mode is mindless panic. 19 00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:48,219 Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die! 20 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:49,880 ADULT SHELDON: Or heartless apathy. 21 00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:51,680 MARY: Oh, Lord. 22 00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:53,319 Here we go. This is how you do it. 23 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,889 - Here we go. And we shake. - Honey! 24 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,229 ADULT SHELDON: It's interesting the things you think about 25 00:00:58,230 --> 00:00:59,989 when life is ebbing from your body. 26 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:03,319 For instance, linoleum. What is it, really? 27 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,749 Plastic? And if so, how is it different from Formica? 28 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:09,369 I'm calling 911. 29 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,370 ADULT SHELDON: And what about Count Chocula? 30 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:13,809 How is he a count? 31 00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:15,479 Did the title come with land? 32 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:16,810 George, Heimlich! 33 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,510 - [GRUNTING] - MARY: Don't hurt his little ribs! 34 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,369 ADULT SHELDON: They say, in the final moments, 35 00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:24,799 your life passes before your eyes. 36 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,169 All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife 37 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,909 and putting it back in the jar. 38 00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:31,639 [SHELDON GRUNTS, COUGHS] 39 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,309 Okay, it's better now. Sheldon! 40 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,149 - [RASPY GASPING] - Honey. Are you okay? 41 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:37,830 Can you breathe? Say something! 42 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,049 You have to... throw away... that jelly. 43 00:01:41,050 --> 00:01:42,690 [PANTING] 44 00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,989 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 45 00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:49,790 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 46 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,399 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 47 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,249 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 48 00:01:55,250 --> 00:02:01,110 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 49 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:07,569 I've never been late to school before. 50 00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:09,889 I'm late all the time. It's no big deal. 51 00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:12,849 I get you to school on time every day. Why are you late? 52 00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:15,319 I have a lot of people to say hi to in the morning. 53 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,140 SHELDON: Mom, 54 00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,559 would you write a note for me? 55 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,769 Sure. 56 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,959 You have the coolest excuse. 57 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,729 You almost died. Did you see Jesus? 58 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:26,499 I saw Count Chocula. 59 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,789 But feel free to mention my brush with death in the note. 60 00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:32,900 All right, that's enough talk about death and dying. 61 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:35,980 I came this close to having my own room. 62 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:40,879 MACELROY: Remember, the food drive 63 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,079 ends Friday. 64 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,709 All canned goods are welcome. 65 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:47,810 But please... make sure your cans have labels. 66 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:49,350 Needy people have enough problems 67 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,859 without having to guess what's for dinner. 68 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,240 I'm sorry I'm late. I have a note. 69 00:02:57,030 --> 00:03:00,109 You poor thing, you had a medical emergency? 70 00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:02,840 Yes, ma'am. I choked on a sausage. 71 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:03,840 [LAUGHTER] 72 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,299 BOY: How big was it? 73 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,539 About yay big. 74 00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:09,309 [LAUGHTER] 75 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:11,879 ADULT SHELDON: To this day, 76 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,850 I still don't understand why they were laughing. 77 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,889 You're sitting in my spot. 78 00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:25,019 Why is it your spot? 79 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:26,959 It's complicated. Just move. 80 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,130 [SIGHS] 81 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:36,999 - You're reading a comic book. - I am. 82 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,800 You do understand those are for children. 83 00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:41,369 Have you ever read one? 84 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,319 I outgrew picture books when I was three. 85 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,590 Just eat your lunch. 86 00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,920 What's the matter? 87 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:06,609 I-I don't think I can eat this. 88 00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:08,369 You want to trade? 89 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,299 My mom made me fish soup again. 90 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,970 How long do we have to be in this country 91 00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:13,980 before I get bologna? 92 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:19,430 Mm, no, thank you. 93 00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:20,909 I'm not hungry. 94 00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:24,249 "I'm not hungry." 95 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:26,480 Three words you never hear in Vietnam. 96 00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:29,949 MEEMAW: Well, here's something nice. [CHUCKLES] 97 00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:31,719 You know that Mr. Rosenbloom 98 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,529 with the furniture store over by the steakhouse? 99 00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:36,939 - I don't think so. - Oh, sure you do. 100 00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:38,949 That Hebrew fella with the comb-over? 101 00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:40,129 You mean Jewish? 102 00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:42,669 I think they like to be called Hebrew. 103 00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:44,299 Anyway, 104 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,749 he's asked me to dinner. 105 00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:47,670 [CHUCKLES] 106 00:04:47,671 --> 00:04:49,939 Well, good for you. What'd you say? 107 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,989 I said I'd have to think about it. 108 00:04:51,990 --> 00:04:53,379 What's to think about? 109 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,999 Well, a lot. 110 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,970 I mean, assuming he enjoys dinner, he might want 111 00:04:57,980 --> 00:04:59,739 a scoop of Meemaw for dessert. 112 00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:01,380 Mom, the kids. 113 00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:03,450 I said "dessert." 114 00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:05,720 Did you know I was talking about sex? 115 00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:06,959 No. 116 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,350 See? 117 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,659 Why aren't you eating? 118 00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:13,830 I don't think I can. 119 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,429 Sometimes the different foods touch each other, Sheldon. 120 00:05:16,430 --> 00:05:17,999 Not the end of the world. 121 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,400 No, I'm afraid I'll choke again. 122 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:22,909 Oh, honey, that's not gonna happen. 123 00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:24,509 Go ahead, eat your dinner. 124 00:05:24,510 --> 00:05:26,240 What's all this about choking? 125 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:28,109 Sheldon almost died this morning. 126 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,499 - What?! - Oh, yeah. 127 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,110 Dad was shaking him upside down like a ketchup bottle. 128 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,519 It was great. 129 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,380 Well, you got to eat something, baby. 130 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,589 Just have a few bites. 131 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:38,919 I can't. It's too risky. 132 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,290 Dibs on the tater tots. 133 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,029 All right, I'll wrap that up for you, 134 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,610 and if you change your mind, you can have some later. 135 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,160 At least drink your milk. 136 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,499 Sure. 137 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,299 ADULT SHELDON: My mother and father saw 138 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,839 that I'd been traumatized and were patient and understanding 139 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,809 about my fear of eating solid foods. 140 00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:57,639 This lasted one more day. 141 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,279 MARY: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't 142 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,349 finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up 143 00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:03,070 and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird. 144 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,119 Do it, Mom. Do it. 145 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,639 - Mary, can I speak to you for a second? - No. Enough is enough. 146 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,199 The boy has got to eat. 147 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,010 Just give me a minute. 148 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,970 Start eating, mister. 149 00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:19,140 You don't mind, right? 150 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,539 How about I cut that pork chop off the bone 151 00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:27,300 and throw it in the blender with some gravy? 152 00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:31,579 If it fits through a bendy straw, I'll drink it. 153 00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,840 Coming up. 154 00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:36,280 Why does he get a pork shake? 155 00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:37,510 This is all my fault. 156 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,480 I rushed him through breakfast the other day, 157 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:41,309 and now look... He is wasting away. 158 00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:43,390 Oh, come on. You can't blame yourself. 159 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,789 This isn't gonna last. Remember the time a bee got in the house 160 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,599 and he slept under a net for a couple months? 161 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,210 This is different. 162 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:50,439 - How? - First of all, 163 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,590 you let that bee in. 164 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,760 The bee was your fault. 165 00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:54,260 - Okay. - Secondly, 166 00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,429 this is about his health. 167 00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:56,819 He is a fragile little boy. 168 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,129 He can't go on like this. 169 00:06:58,130 --> 00:06:59,439 I'm not arguing with you. 170 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,269 Let's just, you know, give him a little more time. 171 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:03,570 [SIGHS] 172 00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:06,809 [BLENDER WHIRRING] 173 00:07:06,810 --> 00:07:08,649 Now what? 174 00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:10,879 Sounds like your mom's making margaritas. 175 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,950 [SLURPS] 176 00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:15,019 What's he drinking? 177 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,089 Pork chop and gravy. 178 00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:19,259 [QUIETLY]: I snuck some broccoli in there, too. 179 00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:21,060 Shh... 180 00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:25,890 [SLURPS] 181 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,040 _ 182 00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,450 [WHIRRING] 183 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,959 I'm real glad you've been getting out again. 184 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,629 Me, too. [CHUCKLES] 185 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,199 We had a nice dinner, took a walk. 186 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,360 He's a divorcé, you know. 187 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:49,529 I didn't. 188 00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:51,269 It's not a big deal for those people. 189 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:54,339 If they're not a lawyer, they're related to one. 190 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,339 GEORGE SR.: You're actually cutting the crust off 191 00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:58,019 - before you blend it? - I left it 192 00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,809 on his tuna sandwich yesterday, he said he could tell. 193 00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:02,479 Only drank half of it. 194 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,680 Mary, you think this has gone on long enough? 195 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:05,919 No trouble. 196 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,280 But it'd be better if I had two blenders. 197 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:09,949 Be better if you stopped coddling him. 198 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,550 Well, I don't know what else to do. 199 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,759 I suggested that we take him to some kind of professional, 200 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,329 but you said he'd outgrow it. 201 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:17,099 Well, if you're looking for a psychiatrist, 202 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:19,250 I bet my new fella's related to one. 203 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,770 What do you think? 204 00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:25,409 [SIGHS] 205 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:27,069 Not sure. 206 00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,539 If we take him to a shrink, it feels like we're admitting 207 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:30,870 something's wrong with him. 208 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,730 He hasn't had solid food in five weeks. 209 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:37,370 Well, if there is something wrong with him, 210 00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,209 it ain't constipation. 211 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,840 [LAUGHING] 212 00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:45,659 Okay. 213 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,720 Let's see if we can find somebody. 214 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,529 Thank you. 215 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,190 [SIGHS]: Hmm. 216 00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:56,429 [CLICKS TONGUE] 217 00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:59,030 Needs a few more Cheetos. 218 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,489 ADULT SHELDON: My mother managed to locate a family psychiatrist 219 00:09:02,490 --> 00:09:04,139 within our price range. 220 00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:06,170 No one seemed to be bothered that he had 221 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:09,009 a coupon in The Pennysaver. 222 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:11,919 Is this man gonna make me eat solid foods? 223 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,980 No, he just wants to talk to you about it. 224 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:16,819 Did you tell him I have a lot to accomplish in my life 225 00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:20,289 and cannot afford to be killed by an unchewed sausage? 226 00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:22,560 Not in those exact words. 227 00:09:26,030 --> 00:09:28,459 Did you bring the coupon? 228 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,460 Hi. Welcome. 229 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,049 You must be the Cooper family. 230 00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:33,069 We are. 231 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:34,499 Right on, right on. 232 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,370 This must be Sheldon. 233 00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:37,769 Put 'er there. 234 00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:39,909 No, thank you. 235 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,879 Right on, right on. 236 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,579 Okay, well, here's how I'd like to start. Mom and Dad, 237 00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:46,709 why don't you come talk to me first, and then, Sheldon, 238 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,510 you and I have a little rap session. 239 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:50,690 Folks? 240 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,559 [QUIETLY]: Right on, right on. 241 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,880 Feel free to read any of my comics. 242 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,040 And you guys feel free to sit on my beanbag! 243 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,679 40 cents? Outrageous. 244 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,529 ADULT SHELDON: As fate would have it, 245 00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:18,760 the comic I picked up was called X-Men. 246 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:21,099 Young mutants with incredible powers 247 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,499 who were feared and misunderstood 248 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,139 by the entire world. 249 00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:27,530 Hey, it's about me. 250 00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:30,949 Now, the thing you have to understand is 251 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,930 Shelly is incredibly bright. 252 00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:35,910 I mean, his IQ is right up there with Albert Einstein 253 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,479 and that English wheelchair fella. 254 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,430 - Cool. - He's nine years old 255 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,469 and he's in high school, so you can't judge him like other kids. 256 00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:44,819 - I hear ya. - George, 257 00:10:44,820 --> 00:10:46,589 tell him about how he's always going 258 00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:49,559 on and on about subatomic particles and such. 259 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,349 Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it. 260 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,560 We're accustomed to his quirks and oddities. 261 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:58,869 But this whole "being afraid of solid foods" thing, 262 00:10:58,870 --> 00:11:00,870 it's got us thrown. 263 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,489 Okay. Let me just start by saying 264 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,089 you came to the right place. 265 00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:07,759 Sheldon and I happen to have a lot in common. 266 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,699 I, too, was a special little boy. 267 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,329 In the fourth grade, I was reading 268 00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:12,599 at a seventh grade level. 269 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,069 And I don't have to tell you where I was 270 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,610 by the seventh grade. 271 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,330 Tenth. 272 00:11:23,410 --> 00:11:25,880 I'm gonna give the beanbag a whirl. 273 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,639 What are y'all watching? 274 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:31,940 Little Rascals. 275 00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:36,820 You know most of those kids are dead, right? 276 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,929 What? 277 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,939 Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat. 278 00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:42,479 Even Petey the dog? 279 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,610 Oh, especially Petey the dog. 280 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,460 Thanks for making it depressing. 281 00:11:46,470 --> 00:11:47,670 You're very welcome. 282 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,409 Y'all want to go get some ice cream? 283 00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:50,410 What about dinner? 284 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,589 What about it? Come on. 285 00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:54,829 Is ALF dead? 286 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:57,769 No, but it's just a matter of time. 287 00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:00,360 You'd be surprised how many children have food phobias. 288 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,069 - Is that so? - Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age, 289 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,600 I was afraid of that weird skin 290 00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:05,949 - on top of puddin'. - Really? 291 00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:08,040 Me, too. You know, you put a little Saran Wrap on... 292 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,640 George. 293 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,440 Sheldon? 294 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,439 Where the hell did he go? 295 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,979 Sheldon? 296 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:18,479 Couldn't have gone far. 297 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,780 Why not? 298 00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:21,649 Right on, right on. 299 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,750 [LINE RINGING] 300 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,420 I checked the bathroom, the stairs. 301 00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:26,599 He's not in the building. 302 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,260 I'm worried. No one's answering at home. 303 00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:29,819 Stay calm. We'll find him. 304 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:30,829 You know, 305 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:31,970 when I was a kid... 306 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:33,339 Shut up. 307 00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,690 Well... 308 00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:41,020 ADULT SHELDON: It wasn't typical for me to wander out into 309 00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:44,610 the urban jungle on my own, but I was on a mission. 310 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:48,909 I had gotten my first taste of serialized superheroes, 311 00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,490 and I needed more. 312 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,160 [BELL JINGLES] 313 00:12:57,660 --> 00:13:01,599 Excuse me, do you have X-Men 314 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,330 I'd like to know what happens next, please. 315 00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:06,480 Back bin in the corner. 316 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,980 What are you doing here? 317 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,389 Oh, hello, Tam. 318 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:13,689 I thought you said comic books are for children. 319 00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,840 I'm a complicated young man. 320 00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:20,629 I think we should call the police. 321 00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:22,789 We don't need the police. We'll find him. 322 00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:24,229 This is all my fault. 323 00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:26,869 He ran away because we took him to a therapist. 324 00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:29,109 That's $15 we ain't getting back. 325 00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:30,759 That's what you're worried about? 326 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,960 No. 'Course not. 327 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:37,239 And Sheldon's fine. 328 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,009 You know what he's like. 329 00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,549 If someone took him, 330 00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,750 [CHUCKLES]: I'm sure they'd bring him right back. 331 00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:48,780 ♪ ♪ 332 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,749 I'm enjoying this, but I'm having trouble 333 00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,089 with the onomatopoeia. 334 00:13:58,090 --> 00:14:00,189 The what? 335 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:01,759 The onomatopoeia. 336 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,989 Words that imitate sounds. 337 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:06,299 "Kthoom." "Snikt"" 338 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,729 "Bamf"" 339 00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:09,920 Writers shouldn't make up words. 340 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,740 Somebody made up "onomatopoeia." 341 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,770 You challenge me. I like that. 342 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,330 Meemaw, are you gonna have any more babies? 343 00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:30,069 Good Lord, no! 344 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,869 She's too old to have any more babies. 345 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:34,109 Don't have to have 'em. You live long enough, 346 00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:35,870 your hair and your teeth start falling out, 347 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,509 you start wetting the bed, you get to be one. 348 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:39,579 [LAUGHS] That's funny. 349 00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:41,279 We're gonna have to put a diaper on you. 350 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,579 You won't be laughing when you're doing it. 351 00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:45,109 I might be. 352 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:48,099 [LAUGHTER] 353 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:52,130 Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon, who's smarter, me or Georgie? 354 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,420 Me, of course. 355 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,599 Why you? 356 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,199 My head's bigger. 357 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,869 It doesn't matter. 358 00:14:57,870 --> 00:15:00,630 Tonight is not about Sheldon. 359 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,620 Yeah, right. Everything's always about Sheldon. 360 00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:04,869 Yeah. Most of the time, 361 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:06,839 it's like we don't even exist. 362 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,569 I guess Sheldon does get most of the attention. 363 00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:12,669 Maybe that's a good thing. 364 00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,259 How? 365 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,419 Well, if it weren't for him, your parents would be 366 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:18,049 on your ass all the time. 367 00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:21,119 Yeah. I guess I never thought about it that way before. 368 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,559 You kidding me? Right now, they would be nagging you 369 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,090 about cleaning your room 370 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,839 and doing your homework. 371 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,260 Instead, you're sitting in a parking lot, 372 00:15:31,270 --> 00:15:33,200 eating a Blizzard for dinner. 373 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:35,769 - With cookie dough in it. - Exactly. 374 00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:39,839 While Sheldon is stuck sitting in some boring shrink's office. 375 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,710 Mom told me they were taking him for a haircut. 376 00:15:43,890 --> 00:15:45,459 Oh. Yeah. 377 00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:47,310 Right. 378 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,350 Well, when he gets home, say his hair looks good. 379 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,700 ♪ ♪ 380 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,600 What? 381 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:10,010 Nothing. 382 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,880 ♪ ♪ 383 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:23,449 You want one? 384 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,349 No. 385 00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:27,350 Well... 386 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,690 if you change your mind, help yourself. 387 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,489 ADULT SHELDON: I didn't have to read many comic books 388 00:16:34,490 --> 00:16:38,479 to understand that every superhero had a weakness, 389 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,409 something they had to overcome 390 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:42,940 through an extraordinary act of courage. 391 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:47,510 For Cyclops, it was the loss of Jean Grey. 392 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,909 For Rogue, it was human touch. 393 00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:52,969 For me, it was food that required chewing. 394 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,430 So if I truly was a mutant, I would have to do the same. 395 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,520 ♪ ♪ 396 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:13,700 On this day, I would not be defeated. 397 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,280 Because this was the day I became... 398 00:17:18,940 --> 00:17:22,509 The Chewer. 399 00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:26,649 Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking. 400 00:17:26,650 --> 00:17:29,480 All that was left was my fear of dogs, 401 00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:31,719 birds, insects, germs, 402 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,489 hugging, button fly pants, 403 00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:35,739 rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, 404 00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:38,639 estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables, 405 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,409 squeaky balloons, tinted windows, 406 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:42,879 take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks, 407 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,959 potbelly stoves, dust bunnies, 408 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,330 that fuzz on peaches. Ugh. 409 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:53,230 What I find interesting is how many supervillains 410 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,139 are scientists: Doctor Octopus, 411 00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:58,809 Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor, 412 00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:01,610 Green Goblin, the list goes on and on. 413 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:02,819 So? 414 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,989 So if the world doesn't respect me, 415 00:18:04,990 --> 00:18:06,489 I might change sides. 416 00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:08,290 [INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER] 417 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,759 Uh-oh. 418 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,140 Good luck. 419 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,569 [SIGHS] 420 00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:23,279 ADULT SHELDON: I tried to explain to my parents 421 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,139 that a mutant named Cyclops, 422 00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,409 who shoots laser beams out of his eyes, 423 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:29,409 helped me eat a licorice stick. 424 00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,310 Went right over their heads. 425 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,830 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.MY-SUBS.com --