1
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,463
[sighs, chuckles]
2
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,716
Bro, learn to make your own food, huh?
3
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,719
No, I'm telling you, passive income.
4
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,805
- You get this from a wealth podcast?
- [scoffs]
5
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:59,892
Maybe hosted by, you know,
an alpha dude with a shaved head?
6
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,187
Were there a lot of ads for cold plunges?
'Cause it sounds like it.
7
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,398
No. Listen to me, okay?
8
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,984
We buy the old motel next to the college.
9
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,902
- We… We buy it for nothing.
- [groans]
10
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,946
- We fix it up--
- And we "de-hepatitis" it.
11
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,657
Would you wanna be the one to scrub out
the blood and semen stains?
12
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,992
Yeah, I'll scrub it down, okay?
13
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,285
- We can hose it down…
- Really?
14
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,744
…with antibiotics for all I care.
15
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,705
- I don't… Whatever, okay?
- [chuckles] Okay.
16
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,498
We turn them into apartments.
17
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,375
I know carpentry,
I can do most of the work--
18
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,668
And then what?
19
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,963
Then you rent these apartments to broke,
unreliable college kids?
20
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:33,509
No. We rent it to their parents.
Guarantors. There's no risk.
21
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,679
You need permits, babe.
You need insurance…
22
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,849
- Okay, Mr. Reality.
- Well, it's just… it's a risk.
23
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,936
Look. You wanna get rich?
24
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:47,064
Be boring. Mutual funds, CDs.
25
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,568
Don't buy too many things.
Don't buy too few.
26
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,529
Don't tell your friends how much you make.
27
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,866
Get something expensive for yourself,
have a good place to hide it.
28
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,159
Oh, I have one.
29
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:02,497
Maybe, um,
cook instead of sushi every day.
30
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,667
[mocking] "Maybe cook
instead of sushi every day."
31
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,796
Being profoundly cute
is not a business plan.
32
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,840
You need discipline.
33
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,929
Well, I already put 30% down.
34
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,351
Oh, didn't know you had the money.
35
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,144
Well, I've been saving.
36
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,733
You really are cute, you know that?
37
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,860
[chuckles, sniffs]
38
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,197
Kinda tragic how cute you are. [chuckles]
39
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,368
So, is that a yes?
40
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:42,496
Are you in?
41
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,750
'Cause… I'd really like
to do this together.
42
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,336
Well…
43
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,216
if it makes you happy.
44
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,220
[chuckles]
45
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,015
[Trevor]
Are you sure you can't sleep over?
46
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,434
[partner] I am very sure.
47
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,273
Unlike you, handsome,
I have a boss and responsibilities.
48
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,943
Call me when you wake up.
49
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,072
[groans]
50
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,374
[Trevor] Look, it's wearing a scarf.
51
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,878
- [shutter clicks]
- [laughing]
52
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,550
- [phone chimes]
- [chuckling]
53
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,970
Smart. It is cold and flu season.
54
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,054
[chuckling]
55
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,016
- [phone chimes]
- [chuckles]
56
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,350
Mmm.
57
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,686
Good night, babe.
58
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:49,688
[phone chimes]
59
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:58,321
[cat meowing]
60
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,741
Mmm? Oh, God.
61
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,743
[groans] It's too early for brekkie.
62
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,704
- [kisses, chuckles] Yeah.
- [meows]
63
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,921
[yawns]
64
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,468
[yawning]
65
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,178
[connecting tone chimes]
66
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:25,182
["You Sexy Thing" plays on speaker]
67
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:28,894
[clicking tongue]
68
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,062
[cat purring]
69
00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,731
[groans]
70
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,942
[meows]
71
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,818
Seriously?
72
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,822
It's what Billie Eilish feeds
her freaking Abyssinian.
73
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,574
[cat meows]
74
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,742
- [meows]
- All right, all right.
75
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,161
I'll get you the good stuff.
76
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,460
[music continues]
77
00:04:57,548 --> 00:05:00,300
- [intruder grunts, groans]
- [choking]
78
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,742
- [groans]
- [choking]
79
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:36,837
[intruder panting]
80
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,637
[panting]
81
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,640
[music continues]
82
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,179
[music ends]
83
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,390
[doorbell rings]
84
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:17,980
[Paula] Hello?
85
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,950
["Bang! Bang!" playing]
86
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,735
[ominous music playing]
87
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,946
[footsteps approaching]
88
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:31,344
[whimpering, breathing shakily]
89
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,763
[saw whirring]
90
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,519
[whirring]
91
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,563
[whimpering]
92
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,492
[gasps]
93
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,708
- [phone ringing]
- [gasps]
94
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,045
[whirring continues]
95
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,464
- [whirring stops]
- [whispers] Fuck.
96
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,134
[Paula gasps]
97
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:16,139
[urgent music plays]
98
00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:22,020
[footsteps running on roof]
99
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,149
[electronic music playing]
100
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,529
[grunting]
101
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,198
[coughs]
102
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,413
[suspenseful music plays]
103
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,707
[groans]
104
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,176
[panting]
105
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:55,888
[tires screeching]
106
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,977
[horn honking]
107
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:11,862
[panting]
108
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,086
[panting]
109
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,471
[groans]
110
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,766
Fuck.
111
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,477
[breathing shakily] Okay.
112
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,738
[automated voice] Incoming call from Karl.
113
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:59,200
Oh, my God. Is everything okay?
Is Hazel okay?
114
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,285
[Karl] Yeah, yeah. H-Hazel's fine.
115
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,579
- [sighs]
- Uh, are you okay, Paula?
116
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,581
Uh, yeah.
117
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,292
[sobs]
118
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,794
No, no.
119
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:12,171
Fuck! Fuck me in the fucking face!
120
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,965
- You're on speakerphone, Paula!
- Mom!
121
00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:15,550
Do you have my new cleats?
122
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,510
[Karl] Yeah, one of us
is a little bit upset
123
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,471
because it's the first practice
and they're a little bit nervous
124
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:23,267
about losing their center-mid position
to Chloe E.
125
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,810
Uh… Uh…
126
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,312
You… You have all of her stuff, Karl.
127
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,606
[Karl] Except the new cleats.
128
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,442
I'm sure you… you… you have to have 'em.
Maybe you moved 'em when--
129
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,902
- Mom, I need them!
- [Karl] I don't know.
130
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,321
Chloe E. went to soccer camp!
131
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:40,033
Soccer camp, Paula!
It's a goddamn emergency.
132
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,080
Paula.
133
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,041
- Paula.
- [Hazel] Mom!
134
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,794
Yeah. I-I-I don't have them, sweetie.
135
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:55,840
[groaning] Then I'm not going, Mom!
You're so annoying!
136
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:58,092
Yeah, there are worse things
happening in the world, Hazel!
137
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,260
[Hazel screams]
138
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,179
Okay, you're off speakerphone,
139
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,431
and we do have the old cleats,
which will be fine for today.
140
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,725
- They suck so much.
- Yeah, they do suck.
141
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,311
We hate them worse than poison
but they'll do, right?
142
00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:09,563
Come on, sweetie. Please.
143
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:14,275
All right, here's the plan.
I gotta go to the airport after drop off.
144
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,277
Um, will you go to the house
and grab the old ones?
145
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,862
- Um… [stammers]
- Mallory's gonna be there.
146
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,406
- Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
- Okay, great.
147
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,366
- Bye. Bye.
- Bye, Daddy. Shoo.
148
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,119
- [chuckles] Okay.
- [Paula] Love you, Hazel.
149
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,497
What is your fucking deal, Paula?
150
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:32,877
[sighs] I'm having
a really fucking bad morning, Karl.
151
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,463
Oh, you're having a tough start?
You're having a bad morning?
152
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:36,714
Yeah, I'm having a tough start.
153
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,591
- Do you wanna know what Hazel told me?
- Yeah.
154
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,136
She said she talked
to your little junkie boyfriend.
155
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:45,807
Yeah, she said he was really scary
and that… that he made her cry.
156
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:50,062
What the actual fuck, Paula?
What is wrong with you?
157
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,104
All right, look.
158
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,565
Mallory thinks
we should just settle custody in court
159
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,276
and my lawyer agrees, so…
160
00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:00,821
I'm trying to be civil with you,
but you are making it very hard.
161
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,074
Do you understand that?
162
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,244
Paula? Say something.
163
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,329
I have to go.
164
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:09,456
- You have to g--
- [line disconnects]
165
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,215
[sniffles]
166
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,888
[exhales deeply]
167
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,852
[engine starts]
168
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,233
[cat meows]
169
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:38,569
[meows]
170
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,281
[meows]
171
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,451
[chuckling]
172
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,287
Come here, you little fart.
173
00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:51,122
He lock you out again?
174
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,665
Come here.
175
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,001
- [purring]
- Aw, yeah.
176
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,336
What?
177
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,007
- [meows]
- Huh? Oh.
178
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,018
[meows]
179
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,523
[screaming]
180
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,115
- [groans, blows]
- [phone chimes]
181
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:27,492
[automated voice] New message from Karl.
182
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:29,453
[sighs]
183
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:31,621
- [inhales sharply]
- [phone chimes]
184
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:32,747
[automated voice] New message from Steve.
185
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,457
Who the fuck is Steve?
186
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,126
[automated voice] New message
from Suzie Work.
187
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,504
- Oh, my God. Fuck off.
- [phone ringing]
188
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,673
[automated voice]
Incoming call from Suzie Work.
189
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,010
- New message from Geri.
- [sucks teeth]
190
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:48,429
[automated voice] New message
from-- New message from Karl.
191
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:49,555
- Fuck off!
- New message from Steve.
192
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,015
New message from Karl.
193
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,393
New message from Suzie Work.
194
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,360
[doorbell rings]
195
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,237
- Hi, Paula.
- Hi, Mal.
196
00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:06,073
Her cleats are in there. Come on in.
197
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:10,202
[door closes]
198
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:12,788
[Paula sighs]
199
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,414
[Mallory] Can I offer you anything?
200
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,125
No, no, I gotta… I gotta get to work.
201
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,544
[Mallory] Oh, come on.
202
00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:20,796
I could make us tea.
203
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:23,757
[sighs]
204
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,968
[clicks tongue] Okay, yeah, sure.
205
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:28,761
Didn't think you'd say yes.
206
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,097
[Paula chuckles]
It's like a… It's a power move.
207
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:34,016
I'm gonna make you boil water
to prove I'm over any past ugliness.
208
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,685
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
209
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:38,771
- Are you?
- Uh, probably not. [chuckles]
210
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,482
But there's so many new aggravations
that I sometimes lose track
211
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,443
of where I stand on the old ones.
[sighs, chuckles]
212
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,530
[inhales sharply] Yeah. [exhales]
213
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,950
- Hey, is something going on?
- No. [chuckles]
214
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,368
No, no, it's nothing.
215
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:57,206
Uh, this lady, like, Karen'ed out on me
at the market
216
00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,793
and I-I-I forgot my credit card
and I-I, like, held up the line,
217
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,170
and there was some shouting
218
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:04,422
and then I-I probably
could've handled it better,
219
00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:06,465
but hopefully we don't go viral
or anything.
220
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,426
Like I said, it was… It's nothing.
221
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,595
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
222
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:11,846
Don't do that.
223
00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:13,931
It's not nothing.
224
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,435
- Ugh, I-I hate that feeling.
- [chuckles]
225
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:20,021
Sometimes, like, if I've had too much wine
the night before,
226
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:24,817
I can get really foggy the next day,
like, forget my keys or my phone.
227
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,070
I mean, have you been drinking maybe?
Or is that why?
228
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,324
Like, you have a fun night
the night before?
229
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,658
No.
230
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,328
You know I had Hazel last night.
231
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,747
Oh. [stammers] Yes.
232
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,332
- Right.
- Sorry, I cut you off.
233
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:42,877
- So, was this Karen old or young?
- Yeah.
234
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,421
- I better get going.
- Wait, what, why?
235
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:49,258
Uh, 'cause I forgot how committed you are
to ruining my life.
236
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:54,680
[Mallory] Uh. [chuckles]
Paula, look, can we be civil?
237
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,308
What's happening now isn't anyone's fault.
238
00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:59,311
[chuckles] Uh,
isn't it yours a little bit?
239
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,646
You think you're the victim.
240
00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:03,940
Karl and I have a different POV.
241
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:06,817
You and Karl
are trying to take my daughter
242
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,862
- and move her to fucking Idaho.
- That's not…
243
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:13,449
So you can take your POV
and you can shove it right up your A-S-S.
244
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,409
- Paula. [stammers]
- Get your own daughter, Mal.
245
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,496
Like, let Karl crawl all over you
with his big sweaty chest bush
246
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,998
and grind away like he's trying
to dislodge a bag of Doritos
247
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,084
from a fucking vending machine,
but I gotta tell you,
248
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:26,921
a baby is gonna ruin that sweet little
biking bod you've got going on there.
249
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,048
You are gonna be exhausted
and you are gonna be boring
250
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,426
and you're gonna fucking reek
of diapers and breast milk.
251
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:35,930
And then who knows, maybe Karl dumps you
for a different coworker.
252
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,640
[kettle whistling]
253
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:39,643
She's my daughter, Mal.
254
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,520
You don't get to fuck up her life.
255
00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,021
That's my job.
256
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,982
[kettle whistling]
257
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:47,317
[door closes]
258
00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:52,947
All I need, is a cheeky little bit of…
259
00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:54,032
[clears throat]
260
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,204
[sighs]
261
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,498
[blows raspberry]
262
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,501
[sucks teeth, sighs]
263
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:11,549
- [phone beeps]
- [Kyra] Hi, it's Kyra, Prem's mom.
264
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:14,719
Prem really wants to play goalie today,
but she has a piano recital soon
265
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,847
and we can't risk her hurting a finger.
[chuckles] If--
266
00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:31,360
- [Rudy] You're so dead. [sighs]
- What?
267
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,612
Suzie's been looking for you.
268
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,405
- She's in a mood.
- What flavor?
269
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:35,490
Vanilla.
270
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:39,035
- You okay?
- Yeah, no, no, no, um…
271
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:42,163
[clicks tongue] Yeah, I cut… [stammers]
…cut myself on a tuna can.
272
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:45,124
Mmm, weird.
You're probably gonna get lockjaw.
273
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,835
It was packed in spring water.
I think I'm okay.
274
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:49,921
- Mmm, depends. Was it pole-caught?
- [Suzie] So?
275
00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:51,422
Fix your car?
276
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,592
Uh… [stammers] Yeah… Yeah. Uh… Uh… Yes.
277
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:59,764
And I will, um,
get these pages to you by EOD.
278
00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:03,601
[sighs] Not EOD, ASAP.
This has to go live in two hours.
279
00:19:03,602 --> 00:19:07,146
[stammers] I know you have
responsibilities beyond this place,
280
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,815
but, candidly, I don't care about anything
281
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,275
- beyond this place.
- Mm-hmm.
282
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:14,028
Look, you asked me
for more responsibility…
283
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:16,864
[dialogue distorts]
284
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:22,161
[high-pitched ringing]
285
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,205
[normal] It requires commitment.
286
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,414
Commitment, yeah.
287
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,917
I mean, I'm a hundred percent committed.
288
00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:29,795
I'm a hundred and five percent committed.
289
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:31,964
Yeah. [exhales]
290
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:39,763
["Combustion" playing]
291
00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:48,354
Hi. Can you confirm that you did say, um,
that the senator wasn't there on the 4th?
292
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,939
[phone rings]
293
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,650
Hello… [speaks indistinctly] Uh-huh.
294
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,695
Okay, you did say that? All right.
295
00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:03,244
[music continues]
296
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:04,663
[phone chimes]
297
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,172
Yeah. I got it. I'm almost done.
298
00:20:14,173 --> 00:20:17,926
Sorry, uh, you have a visitor
in the conference room.
299
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:20,179
Uh…
300
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:25,392
[Gonzales] Thank you for seeing me.
301
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,561
You want some cashews?
302
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,313
- Uh-uh.
- No?
303
00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:31,398
Okay.
304
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:37,195
So, I ran down those addresses
you gave me.
305
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:38,280
Guess what?
306
00:20:39,031 --> 00:20:41,241
A sex worker was
found dead in one of them.
307
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,496
The responding officer sent a photo.
308
00:20:47,456 --> 00:20:48,832
[sighs]
309
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:50,959
Sure looked like your guy.
310
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,009
I'm gonna give you one chance here.
311
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:06,975
If you've got anything to tell me,
you're gonna wanna tell me now.
312
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,144
Right now.
313
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:11,563
Uh…
314
00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:15,400
I-I-I know. [sighs]
315
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:18,695
[Gonzales] You know…
316
00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:20,781
I…
317
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,699
I was there.
318
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,244
I saw the body.
319
00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:27,454
[sighs]
320
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,997
Holy shit. 5-0.
321
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:33,626
Oh. You think Paula's getting arrested
for dangling participles?
322
00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:36,045
- [chuckles]
- Seriously. You think she did something?
323
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:38,172
I don't know. DUI, maybe? Loitering?
324
00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:39,298
Kidnapping?
325
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,050
That's a bit much.
326
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:42,177
Dognapping?
327
00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:45,972
Yeah, okay, that I could actually see.
328
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:48,349
- Yeah, she's, like, just sad enough.
- Yeah.
329
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:51,310
Like she sees a poodle
tied up outside a Starby's
330
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,813
and, you know, before she knows it,
she's got something to love.
331
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:54,898
[chuckles]
332
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,151
Yeah, I should've called the police.
I was going to, uh,
333
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,444
and then… and then I didn't.
334
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:03,698
And then when I didn't,
I couldn't and, uh--
335
00:22:03,699 --> 00:22:05,366
[Gonzales] What possessed you to go there?
336
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,868
That was pretty reckless.
337
00:22:06,869 --> 00:22:08,453
[Paula] He was harassing me.
338
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,955
He called my ex-husband.
339
00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:13,958
Like, I have custody issues…
[stammers] …and Trevor knew about them.
340
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:16,961
He knew about everything
and he was gonna use it against me.
341
00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:18,171
Okay?
342
00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:21,592
And I-I didn't know what to do
and you guys weren't helping me at all.
343
00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:23,801
You had to confront him.
344
00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:24,886
To scare him.
345
00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:27,472
I went there to tell him
to leave me alone.
346
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:30,349
He was threatening my kid.
347
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,393
Okay.
348
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:37,524
So, you arrive, you ring the bell,
kick down the door.
349
00:22:38,317 --> 00:22:42,403
- What?
- The door was open, so I just walked in.
350
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,906
And then I found him.
351
00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:46,365
He was dead.
352
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:48,327
He was in the bathtub.
353
00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:52,206
Uh, it was 8:15.
354
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:54,791
What did you do next?
355
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,586
Aside from not immediately call 911?
356
00:23:00,923 --> 00:23:05,135
I heard someone else come in,
so I ran and I hid in the closet.
357
00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:10,933
And then I heard… [stammers] …a saw.
358
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,102
Like a power saw.
359
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,731
Was the body… [stammers] Uh…
360
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,067
A little.
361
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,903
- [sighs]
- Did you see this person?
362
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:26,614
Old? Young? Anything will help.
363
00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:27,783
No, I didn't see them.
364
00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:30,368
[smacks lips] I, uh, except… [stammers]
365
00:23:30,369 --> 00:23:33,163
This is weird.
They were wearing Trevor's boots.
366
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,707
Uh, with two different colored laces.
367
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,252
Well, maybe he knew Trevor, or maybe…
368
00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:43,172
he forgot his murder booties
and used the dead man's shoes instead.
369
00:23:43,173 --> 00:23:44,674
[sighs]
370
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:47,261
So, you find a dead body,
371
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,805
you think a killer is still in the house,
372
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:51,472
you get away,
373
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:52,557
you're safe,
374
00:23:52,558 --> 00:23:54,976
then you skip off to work?
375
00:23:54,977 --> 00:23:56,311
All la-di-da?
376
00:23:57,271 --> 00:23:59,106
I mean, you have to admit that's strange.
377
00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:01,108
Why not call 911?
378
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:05,069
You know, she did
weirdly mention porn the other day.
379
00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:06,404
Mmm, she's not a pornographer.
380
00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:07,947
Even if she was, pornography's legal.
381
00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:09,699
- It's free speech.
- Good point.
382
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,451
Unless it involves minors.
383
00:24:11,994 --> 00:24:14,161
- That's gross.
- Bestiality. Also illegal.
384
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:16,039
- And we're back to the dog thing.
- Uh…
385
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:18,291
Ooh, what if it's an underage dog?
386
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,585
That'd be really bad.
387
00:24:28,093 --> 00:24:29,261
[Gonzales] You were scared.
388
00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:32,306
I'll bet.
389
00:24:32,931 --> 00:24:35,684
- You must have been terrified.
- [inhales shakily]
390
00:24:36,185 --> 00:24:38,436
I was, but not just of the guy.
391
00:24:38,437 --> 00:24:40,647
I-I kept thinking about my kid
392
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:47,445
and how my ex-husband would use this
to show that I was unfit.
393
00:24:47,446 --> 00:24:50,615
If he knew that I was tangled up
394
00:24:50,616 --> 00:24:54,535
with a cam boy
or at the scene of a murder,
395
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:55,537
I would…
396
00:24:57,748 --> 00:24:58,915
I would lose everything.
397
00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:00,751
I just… I panicked.
398
00:25:01,627 --> 00:25:03,795
[sighs] Your ex sounds like a real jerk.
399
00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:07,215
Not always, but yeah.
400
00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:08,217
Lately, yeah.
401
00:25:10,302 --> 00:25:11,637
Marriage is a marathon.
402
00:25:13,514 --> 00:25:14,723
Sometimes you puke.
403
00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:18,268
[tense music playing]
404
00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:27,819
Hi. What was that all about?
405
00:25:29,154 --> 00:25:30,863
Oh, uh, nothing.
406
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:32,449
I just got scammed online.
407
00:25:33,742 --> 00:25:36,410
Oh. Shit. Sorry.
408
00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:37,412
Credit card?
409
00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:41,123
No, uh, I met a guy.
410
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,210
Uh, he seemed nice,
and then he scammed me.
411
00:25:44,169 --> 00:25:45,503
Ooh, that sucks, yeah.
412
00:25:45,504 --> 00:25:47,004
Dating sites can be brutal.
413
00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:48,589
Mmm. Which one do you use?
414
00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:50,800
The one where you have
to show photos of your graduate degree,
415
00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:52,970
or the one where you have
to show photos of your butthole?
416
00:25:55,264 --> 00:25:57,307
Those are just the two basic prototypes.
417
00:25:58,392 --> 00:25:59,977
It wasn't a dating site.
418
00:26:01,645 --> 00:26:02,729
He was a cam boy.
419
00:26:03,939 --> 00:26:05,064
He was a "cam-man."
420
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:06,733
He was an age-appropriate cammer.
421
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:09,820
Jesus… [sobs] …this is so embarrassing.
422
00:26:10,696 --> 00:26:12,864
- It's not. It's amazing actually.
- It's the best thing
423
00:26:12,865 --> 00:26:14,323
that ever happened to me. Continue.
424
00:26:14,324 --> 00:26:16,201
[sighs] No, I just… I…
425
00:26:17,077 --> 00:26:18,661
I thought he really liked me
426
00:26:18,662 --> 00:26:20,913
and, uh, I opened up to him,
427
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:23,208
and then he totally scammed me.
428
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:26,169
- Sorry, Paula.
- [coworker] Mm-hmm.
429
00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:28,254
No, I just keep thinking, like…
430
00:26:28,255 --> 00:26:30,298
[stammers] …I should have known.
431
00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:36,596
Like, I have been with a gold-medal
succession of jerks in my life
432
00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:41,267
and… and, like, Karl was the first
genuinely good guy I ever even met.
433
00:26:41,268 --> 00:26:43,769
And-And we were happy, you know?
434
00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:45,980
Like, we-we got married,
435
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:47,690
and we moved to Portland.
436
00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:51,277
And I got this job
at a little local paper.
437
00:26:51,278 --> 00:26:54,281
Like, they gave me a Diners Club card,
438
00:26:55,782 --> 00:26:58,784
which, like, nobody even accepts Diners',
but I had it.
439
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:00,037
I was in the club.
440
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:03,539
And then we had a baby and then…
441
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:08,461
and then regular bickering just turned
into, like, real fights about real things,
442
00:27:08,462 --> 00:27:11,881
and the genuinely good guy turned out
to be, like, the biggest jerk of all.
443
00:27:11,882 --> 00:27:16,053
And now I get scammed by cam boys,
and you guys think I'm a super freak.
444
00:27:17,513 --> 00:27:20,224
[somber music playing]
445
00:27:26,146 --> 00:27:28,148
- [mouthing] Get here.
- [whispering] Hug her?
446
00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:33,612
- [Paula chuckles]
- [Rudy chuckles]
447
00:27:34,112 --> 00:27:36,364
[inhales deeply, groans]
448
00:27:36,365 --> 00:27:39,867
Okay, now you guys tell me
your most humiliating sex stories, right?
449
00:27:39,868 --> 00:27:42,287
- [chuckles] Okay, uh…
- Oh, no. [chuckles]
450
00:27:43,205 --> 00:27:45,207
I used to pleasure myself to Scooby-Doo.
451
00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:46,874
[Rudy clears throat]
452
00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:48,377
[upbeat music playing]
453
00:27:54,591 --> 00:27:57,093
[Paula] Hi. I'm just…
454
00:27:57,094 --> 00:27:59,763
Hi, I'm Paula. I'm the new coach. Whoops.
455
00:28:02,558 --> 00:28:04,517
- Here, let me help you with that.
- Oh.
456
00:28:04,518 --> 00:28:05,769
Oh, yeah.
457
00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:08,521
Doughnuts for soccer practice, huh?
458
00:28:08,522 --> 00:28:10,857
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, everybody loves doughnuts.
459
00:28:10,858 --> 00:28:13,025
They are sweet, they're moist--
460
00:28:13,026 --> 00:28:14,278
They're America's fruit?
461
00:28:17,239 --> 00:28:18,531
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
462
00:28:18,532 --> 00:28:21,033
- Uh, I'm Steve.
- Oh, hi.
463
00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:23,160
- Uh, with the… [laughs]
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, right.
464
00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:24,370
Oh, my God. I'm Paula.
465
00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:27,081
I totally, um, did not text you back.
466
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:29,293
No, no. It's okay. I, uh, over-texted.
467
00:28:29,877 --> 00:28:32,461
- It's just kids' soccer practice, right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
468
00:28:32,462 --> 00:28:35,840
My ex told me I need to be more chill, so…
469
00:28:35,841 --> 00:28:37,925
- Be more chill?
- [scoffs] Yeah.
470
00:28:37,926 --> 00:28:40,178
- Wow. I think you dodged a bullet.
- Mom! Mom.
471
00:28:40,179 --> 00:28:41,804
[Steve] I should've never brought her up.
472
00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:42,889
Where are my cleats?
473
00:28:42,890 --> 00:28:44,016
- Your cleats?
- Cleats.
474
00:28:45,684 --> 00:28:47,143
Ow. Ow!
475
00:28:47,144 --> 00:28:48,644
Mom, I hate these.
476
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:49,730
Okay. Okay.
477
00:28:50,314 --> 00:28:52,900
Do you think maybe there's something else
that's bugging you, sweetie?
478
00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:54,484
No. [sighs]
479
00:28:55,194 --> 00:28:57,279
[groans] Chloe.
480
00:28:57,946 --> 00:29:00,156
She gave everybody cherry lip balm but me.
481
00:29:00,157 --> 00:29:01,158
Oof.
482
00:29:02,242 --> 00:29:04,994
It's not nice
to make someone feel left out, is it?
483
00:29:04,995 --> 00:29:07,497
- No.
- No. I'm sorry that happened.
484
00:29:07,998 --> 00:29:08,999
Yeah.
485
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:11,335
Hey, you know…
486
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,130
on the night you were born,
487
00:29:15,964 --> 00:29:17,882
right before you slid out of me--
488
00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:19,217
Ew.
489
00:29:19,218 --> 00:29:21,135
[clicks tongue] Yeah, it was kinda "ew."
490
00:29:21,136 --> 00:29:23,305
But, right before that,
491
00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:27,600
there was a storm.
492
00:29:27,601 --> 00:29:31,354
Wind was howling
and hail was smashing the windows.
493
00:29:31,355 --> 00:29:35,108
And right at the craziest,
most intense part…
494
00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,072
- What?
- You came out.
495
00:29:41,073 --> 00:29:43,283
[chuckles, sniffles]
496
00:29:44,451 --> 00:29:45,785
You weren't like,
497
00:29:45,786 --> 00:29:49,205
[groans] "That sounds scary.
I'm gonna stay safe inside."
498
00:29:49,206 --> 00:29:52,501
You were like, "That sounds awesome.
I wanna see what that is."
499
00:29:53,085 --> 00:29:54,168
And that's when I knew.
500
00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:57,088
I knew that you were gonna
be brave and adventurous,
501
00:29:57,089 --> 00:29:59,841
so forget about these lip-balm girls.
502
00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:01,717
'Cause what do I always tell you, Hazel?
503
00:30:01,718 --> 00:30:04,053
[chuckles, inhales sharply]
"Brush your teeth."
504
00:30:04,054 --> 00:30:09,767
Yes, but you are a badass.
505
00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,186
- [chuckles]
- You're a badass.
506
00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:13,647
You know that, right?
507
00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:19,485
{\an8}"You're a bad ass."
508
00:30:19,486 --> 00:30:21,070
{\an8}"YABA"? Wow.
509
00:30:21,071 --> 00:30:22,822
{\an8}That is totally inappropriate.
510
00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:24,657
[sighs] And I freakin' love it.
511
00:30:24,658 --> 00:30:25,742
[chuckles]
512
00:30:26,285 --> 00:30:27,703
Okay, get out there, badass.
513
00:30:28,954 --> 00:30:30,788
- I love you, Mommy.
- I love you too.
514
00:30:30,789 --> 00:30:31,790
[Hazel] Thank you.
515
00:30:32,457 --> 00:30:33,541
YABA!
516
00:30:33,542 --> 00:30:35,209
- [Hazel] YABA.
- YABA!
517
00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:36,712
[Steve] Oh, oh, oh, yeah!
518
00:30:38,130 --> 00:30:39,714
- Whoa!
- [whistle blows]
519
00:30:39,715 --> 00:30:44,385
[all] One, two, three… Go, Owls!
520
00:30:44,386 --> 00:30:47,388
[hooting]
521
00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:49,473
- Great job, Coach.
- [Paula] Hey, thanks.
522
00:30:49,474 --> 00:30:51,058
All right, Hazelnut. Go get your stuff.
523
00:30:51,059 --> 00:30:52,226
[Hazel] Okay.
524
00:30:52,227 --> 00:30:53,436
[knocks on door]
525
00:30:53,437 --> 00:30:55,605
[chuckles] Uh, I-I… [clears throat]
526
00:30:55,606 --> 00:30:58,358
I had something that I would love
for you to read, if you had a sec.
527
00:31:04,573 --> 00:31:06,908
Feeling a tad under the gun here.
528
00:31:06,909 --> 00:31:08,618
Right, uh, I sh… I should leave. Yeah.
529
00:31:08,619 --> 00:31:10,871
Just… be still.
530
00:31:20,297 --> 00:31:21,839
It's not shit.
531
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,341
Uh, yay.
532
00:31:23,342 --> 00:31:25,134
Yes, "yay." Yes.
533
00:31:25,135 --> 00:31:27,053
"It's not shit" is as good as it gets.
534
00:31:27,054 --> 00:31:30,015
But it doesn't grab me,
535
00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:34,185
which, if you are an absolute,
utter no one, which, no offense--
536
00:31:34,186 --> 00:31:35,978
No, I'm-I'm aware I'm-I'm garbage.
537
00:31:35,979 --> 00:31:40,984
You need to overwhelm my central nervous
system like some rare tropical disease.
538
00:31:42,152 --> 00:31:44,571
We just need something juicier.
539
00:31:49,326 --> 00:31:53,037
[Trevor] Your body is amazing.
You know how fast I can get you off?
540
00:31:53,038 --> 00:31:54,705
- [cam actor 2 sighs]
- [Trevor chuckles]
541
00:31:54,706 --> 00:31:57,041
I've never been there.
I hear it's, uh, beautiful.
542
00:31:57,042 --> 00:31:58,501
Are you gonna cum for me, Barbara?
543
00:31:58,502 --> 00:32:00,419
Oh, you're so hot. You like that?
544
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,672
You like that?
You like watching me touch myself?
545
00:32:02,673 --> 00:32:04,841
Come on, piggy. Roll around in the mud.
546
00:32:04,842 --> 00:32:08,177
Crawl for it, little pig.
Come on, piggy. Roll around in the mud.
547
00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:09,388
I wanna lick you all over.
548
00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,515
That's great. I'm so proud of you, Donna.
549
00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:13,599
…cum for me, Barbara?
550
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,602
I wanna lick you all over.
Show me how your touch yourself.
551
00:32:16,603 --> 00:32:19,438
Does your girlfriend know about me?
Did you tell her what we do?
552
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:21,190
Show me how your touch yourself.
553
00:32:21,191 --> 00:32:22,568
Oh, I love that movie.
554
00:32:26,071 --> 00:32:28,490
[groans] Fuck,
I'm gonna make you feel so good.
555
00:32:36,290 --> 00:32:38,709
[detective] G, come get dinner with me.
556
00:32:40,002 --> 00:32:41,003
Nope.
557
00:32:41,503 --> 00:32:44,255
Come on.
We'll get those spicy wings you like.
558
00:32:44,256 --> 00:32:45,257
It'll be fun.
559
00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:48,384
I think I'll solve a murder instead.
560
00:32:48,385 --> 00:32:50,387
It's fun too. You should try it some time.
561
00:33:02,649 --> 00:33:04,484
What aren't you telling me, Paula?
562
00:33:11,283 --> 00:33:12,284
[car door closes]
563
00:33:44,691 --> 00:33:46,777
[upbeat music playing]
564
00:34:08,507 --> 00:34:10,592
[music continues]
565
00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:34,907
[Paula growls] That was very good.
566
00:34:34,908 --> 00:34:35,909
I know.
567
00:34:36,493 --> 00:34:37,911
[Trevor's partner] Hello, Hazel.
568
00:34:41,081 --> 00:34:43,083
["Into the Depths" playing]