1 00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:53,275 - We are obsessed with women's vulvas. 2 00:00:53,275 --> 00:00:54,275 and his sexuality. 3 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,551 What happened? 4 00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,103 billions of years ago what they felt 5 00:01:11,103 --> 00:01:12,827 Did they have to do this to our bodies? 6 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:18,758 They had to control it, cut it , mutilate it, beat us, 7 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,448 rape us, blame us after they rape us 8 00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,000 for our gender. 9 00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:28,517 We live in a environment where women 10 00:01:28,517 --> 00:01:31,448 are constantly judged for everything, 11 00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:33,931 from the way they talk even the way they walk 12 00:01:33,931 --> 00:01:38,655 to his sexuality, to her simple being a woman. 13 00:01:39,689 --> 00:01:41,241 Judgment is everywhere. 14 00:01:57,034 --> 00:02:01,000 - I learned as a child that all the bad things that happen 15 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,862 Is God really punishing the world? 16 00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:06,482 for the way we We dress like young women. 17 00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:24,000 - Women have no rights to their own bodies around the world. 18 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,827 Women do not have right to what is his. 19 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,551 sexuality so to speak. 20 00:02:29,965 --> 00:02:32,310 It's about what others expect them to be. 21 00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:21,586 - [GPS] Next right. 22 00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,793 - I grew up in Brooklyn in New York, 23 00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:25,103 in the Hasidic community. 24 00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:31,827 Although there was not a wall around my community, 25 00:04:31,827 --> 00:04:35,793 There was a very effective invisible barrier around us. 26 00:04:38,137 --> 00:04:39,551 When I was a child I could glimpse 27 00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:41,034 Manhattan skyline. 28 00:04:42,655 --> 00:04:45,551 Very bright, but it was just. 29 00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:47,896 the dangerous and terrifying far road, 30 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,068 and we knew that we would never go there, 31 00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,379 and we knew that They never came to us. 32 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,965 Then there could be been another planet. 33 00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:08,517 My grandfather, whom I admired him a lot when I was a child, 34 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,103 They used to tell me, 35 00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:13,137 "God made woman such way that she always 36 00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:14,758 ask too many questions. 37 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,620 She is not capable to have blind faith". 38 00:05:21,931 --> 00:05:24,862 That's why all the books They were prohibited to women. 39 00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:39,344 My grandfather just saw me as a potential mother of babies. 40 00:05:51,862 --> 00:05:54,206 There is no word for I love you 41 00:05:54,206 --> 00:05:56,275 in the Yiddish dialect the one I grew up with. 42 00:06:01,551 --> 00:06:04,172 There is no word for tenderness. 43 00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,241 It doesn't exist. 44 00:06:09,793 --> 00:06:12,620 In my community, marriages They were always fixed, 45 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,000 So you didn't really know Who were you going to marry? 46 00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:20,551 I was 17 years old, 47 00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:24,931 taking wedding classes for know my new obligations. 48 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,689 They explained male and female genitalia to me. 49 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:32,275 for the first time and how They are supposed to work. 50 00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:34,206 The teacher does not He called them by their names. 51 00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:37,068 She used Hebrew words that I didn't understand, 52 00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:42,000 and explained that the woman It has a place where it fits. 53 00:06:43,206 --> 00:06:44,827 It is a beautiful hallway leading 54 00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:47,275 to the source of all life. 55 00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:48,758 That's how babies happen. 56 00:06:51,965 --> 00:06:54,620 I was going to have sex with someone I didn't know, 57 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,068 whether I wanted to or not. 58 00:06:57,620 --> 00:07:00,896 I felt obliged, both by the community as well as for our family. 59 00:07:00,896 --> 00:07:03,758 They told me that There were no other options for me. 60 00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:12,241 Then I had sex. 61 00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:14,758 It was very painful, I cried. 62 00:07:16,172 --> 00:07:18,413 And the following week I discovered that she was pregnant. 63 00:07:21,793 --> 00:07:25,344 And I thought, so now I am responsible 64 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,241 not just for myself life in this community, 65 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:30,758 but also for imposing it to another person. 66 00:07:42,517 --> 00:07:45,000 This made me realize of how powerful 67 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,310 the community is in contain women. 68 00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:52,103 Once I acquired all my feminine power as a woman, 69 00:07:52,103 --> 00:07:54,586 That's when I was completely crushed. 70 00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:22,344 - Grow as one girl in India. 71 00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:24,586 It means to be touched, groped, 72 00:08:24,586 --> 00:08:27,724 and being sexually harassed at a given time 73 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,724 in any public space. 74 00:08:36,172 --> 00:08:38,206 I started to hate myself for being a girl. 75 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,310 When I hit puberty and when there were bodily changes, 76 00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:47,103 I was on the roads and they caught me. 77 00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:50,586 It happened a couple of times. 78 00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:53,379 And for me that experience It's still very painful. 79 00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:59,689 I used to cry but I always found a place. 80 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:01,551 where no one knew that I would cry 81 00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:03,758 And I always felt that if I told it to someone, 82 00:09:03,758 --> 00:09:05,448 They will say: "It's your fault." 83 00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:11,896 Then I started to react. 84 00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,758 There was no other option. 85 00:09:13,758 --> 00:09:16,724 And I decided to break up with the culture of silence. 86 00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:20,709 - [Man] I know why your boss 87 00:09:20,809 --> 00:09:22,379 He is promoting you every year. 88 00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:23,551 ---- ---- 89 00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:26,000 Just go and ---- yourself! 90 00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:34,482 - Well, we have already done it, is this done? 91 00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,413 The sound system is the same. 92 00:09:36,413 --> 00:09:37,793 I'm talking about sex. 93 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,034 If you are not going to talk about sex 94 00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:42,551 and healthy relationships, 95 00:09:43,758 --> 00:09:45,241 Then you're not even talking about 96 00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:47,275 rape or sexual harassment or sexual violence. 97 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,310 - I already did. 98 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:51,896 - Yeah, good, good. 99 00:09:51,896 --> 00:09:55,310 I created Love Matters as the first digital platform 100 00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:59,137 in India to talk about love, sex and relationships. 101 00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:01,413 Because in our society, everything that has to do with sex 102 00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:02,379 It is still a taboo. 103 00:10:04,413 --> 00:10:07,000 We don't just fight against this online taboo, 104 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,137 but we will also disconnect these conversations, 105 00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:12,206 through our first public event. 106 00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:15,724 we have a lot pleasure here. 107 00:10:16,586 --> 00:10:18,344 Like a table full of hearts. 108 00:10:30,724 --> 00:10:32,379 We are the land of Kama Sutra. 109 00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:35,931 And it's quite strange let it be the same culture. 110 00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:38,482 that basically not lets you talk about love, 111 00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:40,206 sex and female pleasure. 112 00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:53,034 If you have a girl, You are condemned for life. 113 00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:57,448 A girl consider it a burden. 114 00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:02,448 They are killing girls. 115 00:11:02,448 --> 00:11:04,862 They kill them every day. 116 00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:08,620 A rape every two hours. 117 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,620 Even recently have made statements 118 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:15,448 by Indian politicians who say rape is okay. 119 00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:16,965 Boys will be boys. 120 00:11:16,965 --> 00:11:18,758 you shouldn't punish them. 121 00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:29,724 Your entire identity as a woman 122 00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:32,275 It's basically just to attract someone. 123 00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,482 Then you cover yourself because someone 124 00:11:39,482 --> 00:11:41,172 I could do something to you. 125 00:11:51,482 --> 00:11:53,206 Sex as a topic in India 126 00:11:53,206 --> 00:11:55,689 It's about a man and the desires of a man. 127 00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:04,241 Most women in India do not They wouldn't even know what pleasure means. 128 00:12:09,379 --> 00:12:11,068 Women are considered property. 129 00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:19,068 Women suffer, women They suffer every day. 130 00:12:23,931 --> 00:12:25,413 It is a global problem. 131 00:17:38,413 --> 00:17:41,448 - It was a very sunny morning. 132 00:17:41,448 --> 00:17:42,931 At the age of seven, 133 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,724 I have endured a practice called female genital mutilation. 134 00:17:46,758 --> 00:17:48,448 female genital mutilation, 135 00:17:48,448 --> 00:17:51,241 is when partially or totally removes 136 00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:53,586 the female genitals. 137 00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:57,413 me and another 200 million women 138 00:17:57,413 --> 00:17:59,551 they live today with this practice. 139 00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:05,448 Only three million people are in risk on the African continent. 140 00:18:06,862 --> 00:18:09,965 Currently, half a million of people live in Europe. 141 00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:13,241 Female genital mutilation is a global problem. 142 00:18:13,241 --> 00:18:15,241 It's about oppressing women. 143 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:17,896 It's about oppressing women's bodies. 144 00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:21,793 It's about controlling women's sexuality, 145 00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:24,137 and that is a global problem. 146 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,724 That is not an African question. 147 00:18:25,724 --> 00:18:27,896 That is not an Asian question. 148 00:18:27,896 --> 00:18:28,793 That is a global problem. 149 00:19:00,344 --> 00:19:04,965 The idea that a woman or a girl is sexually free 150 00:19:04,965 --> 00:19:07,482 and she can be the owner of her sexuality, 151 00:19:07,482 --> 00:19:09,000 It is the biggest taboo. 152 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:13,034 It is the biggest challenge to that we face everywhere. 153 00:19:16,206 --> 00:19:18,206 And it turns out that female genital mutilation It's just one of them. 154 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:27,172 - [Woman] You should save the rest. 155 00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:35,689 - The moment I knew that I was different as a girl. 156 00:19:35,689 --> 00:19:37,862 That's when female genital mutilation took place. 157 00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:46,137 On the other side of the house, 158 00:19:46,137 --> 00:19:48,206 I heard my sister scream. 159 00:19:48,206 --> 00:19:49,275 So they took her first. 160 00:19:55,931 --> 00:19:59,310 She was immobilized and I had my legs open. 161 00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:00,551 And before I know it, 162 00:20:00,551 --> 00:20:02,517 They stabbed me with a sharp knife in the body. 163 00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:08,862 I felt everything. 164 00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,517 But what is confusing for a child 165 00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:15,379 The people who They surrounded me 166 00:20:15,379 --> 00:20:17,965 aunts, neighbors and people you trusted. 167 00:20:19,482 --> 00:20:21,068 It's not your body what you lose 168 00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:22,689 You lose confidence. 169 00:20:34,655 --> 00:20:37,137 I clearly remember my first 170 00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:39,103 day at school during play time. 171 00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:43,689 One of the girls asked: "Have you done this to yourself?" 172 00:20:43,689 --> 00:20:45,206 And I said yes. 173 00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:47,896 And she literally screamed across the playground. 174 00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:50,965 She said: "Now we can all play with her!" 175 00:20:50,965 --> 00:20:53,241 Because if I don't I would have done this, 176 00:20:53,241 --> 00:20:54,551 no one would play with me. 177 00:20:54,551 --> 00:20:56,310 And can you imagine when I was seven years old? 178 00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:57,517 The idea that no one goes to play with you? 179 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:01,413 I was 22 years old when a health professional asked me 180 00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:03,310 How was my pregnancy? 181 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:04,931 And I said it was horrible. 182 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:09,068 She told me immediately: 183 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,758 "I know you're from Somalia. 184 00:21:10,758 --> 00:21:12,965 I know that in Somalia They practice Islam. 185 00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,620 Have you been through female genital mutilation?" 186 00:21:16,172 --> 00:21:19,586 In reality, what your body was experiencing was a flashback. 187 00:21:21,068 --> 00:21:24,620 and when he said That, I sobbed. 188 00:21:27,758 --> 00:21:29,758 We were sexually assaulted. 189 00:21:29,758 --> 00:21:31,620 That's what It happened to us when we were children. 190 00:21:32,586 --> 00:21:33,931 That's what happened to me. 191 00:21:38,448 --> 00:21:43,413 Why does it matter so much? afraid that a woman 192 00:21:43,413 --> 00:21:46,379 have sexual feelings, Is he a sexual being? 193 00:21:49,931 --> 00:21:52,620 Does all this happen at all the world out of fear? 194 00:26:18,655 --> 00:26:21,103 - [Deborah] When My son was born, I panicked. 195 00:26:23,448 --> 00:26:25,137 I didn't want having to raise my son. 196 00:26:25,137 --> 00:26:26,551 the way I was raised. 197 00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:31,793 That's what It motivated me to try so hard. 198 00:26:31,793 --> 00:26:33,551 towards another future. 199 00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:39,896 I knew I had to start to get an education, 200 00:26:39,896 --> 00:26:42,896 and I was very close to leaving, 201 00:26:42,896 --> 00:26:44,793 but I was afraid of take the last step. 202 00:26:46,827 --> 00:26:48,931 Then I had a really serious car accident. 203 00:26:48,931 --> 00:26:50,724 but I left without a scratch. 204 00:26:52,137 --> 00:26:54,068 I was so convinced when the car was overturning. 205 00:26:54,068 --> 00:26:55,965 that this was God punishing me 206 00:26:55,965 --> 00:26:57,793 for thinking about leaving. 207 00:26:57,793 --> 00:26:59,965 that everything that I They said it was real. 208 00:27:03,724 --> 00:27:05,551 But the next day I rented a car. 209 00:27:05,551 --> 00:27:08,172 and I packed it with everything that fit. 210 00:27:08,172 --> 00:27:10,000 I remember my son, was a baby, 211 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,551 Looking around like, why is there so many things in the car? 212 00:27:13,551 --> 00:27:16,034 But he stuck his thumb in mouth and fell asleep. 213 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:17,620 and I left. 214 00:27:24,137 --> 00:27:26,172 If I didn't leave when you were a baby 215 00:27:26,172 --> 00:27:27,379 and take you with me, 216 00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:28,862 That's how you would grow. 217 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,206 And that's how you would see yourself, 218 00:27:31,206 --> 00:27:32,724 and so It would be your life. 219 00:27:32,724 --> 00:27:35,310 And I just didn't think that that would make you happy. 220 00:27:35,310 --> 00:27:37,344 - Oh my god, they look so weird. 221 00:27:41,965 --> 00:27:43,724 - [Deborah] My family he wrote me emails saying 222 00:27:43,724 --> 00:27:46,551 They are preparing a tombstone for me. 223 00:27:46,551 --> 00:27:48,172 They told me to commit suicide. 224 00:27:48,172 --> 00:27:50,517 that can't wait to dance on my grave. 225 00:27:55,137 --> 00:27:56,517 Isaac, did you know that when 226 00:27:56,517 --> 00:27:58,620 Your dad and I got married, did it look like that? 227 00:27:58,620 --> 00:28:00,517 - [Isaac] I know. 228 00:28:00,517 --> 00:28:03,758 - [Deborah] I don't like it come here, you know, Isaac. 229 00:28:03,758 --> 00:28:04,689 - [Isaac] Why? 230 00:28:04,689 --> 00:28:05,896 - [Deborah] Because it reminds me 231 00:28:05,896 --> 00:28:06,689 that I used to feel really stuck. 232 00:28:06,689 --> 00:28:07,620 that I couldn't get out, 233 00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:09,034 and I don't like feeling stuck. 234 00:28:09,034 --> 00:28:10,413 I like it always feel like i can go 235 00:28:10,413 --> 00:28:11,413 wherever you want. 236 00:28:15,241 --> 00:28:18,551 My community was Extremely furious with me. 237 00:28:18,551 --> 00:28:21,413 They create websites and blogs on the Internet. 238 00:28:21,413 --> 00:28:22,931 say that I am a traitor, 239 00:28:22,931 --> 00:28:24,862 that I will cause antisemitism, 240 00:28:24,862 --> 00:28:26,551 I'll start another Holocaust. 241 00:28:28,068 --> 00:28:30,586 a jewish newspaper He compared me to Joseph Goebbels. 242 00:28:34,275 --> 00:28:36,586 Do you want me come back here? 243 00:28:36,586 --> 00:28:38,000 - [Isaac] No, definitely not. 244 00:29:16,344 --> 00:29:18,137 - [Deborah] All the experience of being a woman. 245 00:29:18,137 --> 00:29:21,620 In radical Judaism it is just a big turn off. 246 00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:25,620 We have no freedom to define ourselves. 247 00:29:25,620 --> 00:29:27,103 within the religious community, 248 00:29:27,103 --> 00:29:29,482 within the context of religion. 249 00:29:34,965 --> 00:29:39,310 The woman is considered the antithesis of spirituality, 250 00:29:39,310 --> 00:29:42,275 necessary and yet something that must be overcome. 251 00:30:02,655 --> 00:30:04,000 - [Woman] Wow! 252 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:09,000 - The people who made it Judaism was so misogynistic 253 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,172 were these fundamentalist rabbis. 254 00:30:11,172 --> 00:30:13,172 They interpreted the Torah and created 255 00:30:13,172 --> 00:30:15,620 this gigantic canyon Jewish text 256 00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:17,586 which we accept as words of God. 257 00:30:19,586 --> 00:30:21,275 But they are men's words. 258 00:30:40,620 --> 00:30:43,517 A woman has to deal with the fact 259 00:30:43,517 --> 00:30:46,758 that she is very evil and very holy at the same time. 260 00:30:57,310 --> 00:30:58,827 Women menstruate. 261 00:30:58,827 --> 00:31:01,517 They say that this menstrual blood is impure 262 00:31:01,517 --> 00:31:04,379 and can make men impure and, Therefore, it is threatening. 263 00:31:05,689 --> 00:31:07,827 was not allowed touch her husband. 264 00:31:07,827 --> 00:31:09,896 Your husband can't see your body 265 00:31:09,896 --> 00:31:12,034 In Hebrew we say: 266 00:31:12,034 --> 00:31:13,655 They throw her aside. 267 00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:23,068 All this is refers to your body. 268 00:31:23,068 --> 00:31:25,172 The body that they have given you said is shameful 269 00:31:25,172 --> 00:31:27,068 and disgusting all your life. 270 00:31:27,068 --> 00:31:29,172 Almost all women of this community 271 00:31:29,172 --> 00:31:31,379 develop a very intense shame around her body. 272 00:31:31,379 --> 00:31:34,000 No one has ever seen them naked, 273 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,068 and much less the walls of his own house. 274 00:31:36,068 --> 00:31:38,344 And they teach us to change ourselves of clothes in such a way 275 00:31:38,344 --> 00:31:41,206 that actually the ceiling can't see us. 276 00:31:43,827 --> 00:31:45,344 Women are necessary 277 00:31:45,344 --> 00:31:47,206 at the same time as They are the enemy. 278 00:32:04,586 --> 00:32:07,068 The reality of being impure for two weeks 279 00:32:07,068 --> 00:32:08,758 is very psychologically confused 280 00:32:08,758 --> 00:32:10,620 and debilitating for my sense of identity. 281 00:32:13,310 --> 00:32:16,413 And the back and forth it confused me a lot 282 00:32:16,413 --> 00:32:18,275 and almost shaken. 283 00:32:24,965 --> 00:32:28,413 There was a whole system of laws and rituals. 284 00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:31,241 to protect men from my impurity, 285 00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:34,068 and then make me pure again 286 00:32:34,068 --> 00:32:35,793 have sexual relations and procreate. 287 00:32:41,310 --> 00:32:42,793 When I'm done bleeding, 288 00:32:42,793 --> 00:32:46,413 you have to go to a ritual bath, the mikveh, 289 00:32:46,413 --> 00:32:48,827 where your dive is monitored 290 00:32:48,827 --> 00:32:51,551 to make sure you are now kosher, you are now pure. 291 00:33:00,068 --> 00:33:01,517 When I went to the mikvah I felt 292 00:33:01,517 --> 00:33:04,206 that my body It will never belong to me. 293 00:33:04,206 --> 00:33:06,827 And there is not way to achieve it 294 00:33:06,827 --> 00:33:08,517 a sense of ownership over it. 295 00:36:35,689 --> 00:36:39,379 ♪ Rock the car low and sweet. 296 00:36:39,379 --> 00:36:43,793 ♪ You're coming to take me home. 297 00:36:43,793 --> 00:36:46,517 ♪ Rock the car low and sweet. 298 00:37:14,413 --> 00:37:18,551 ♪ Coming for the take me home 299 00:37:18,551 --> 00:37:22,620 ♪ Rock the car low and sweet. 300 00:37:22,620 --> 00:37:26,758 ♪ You're coming to take me home. 301 00:37:26,758 --> 00:37:30,344 ♪ Rock the car low and sweet. 302 00:39:30,896 --> 00:39:33,172 - I think religion It is one of the most important. 303 00:39:33,172 --> 00:39:34,862 murderers in the world. 304 00:39:34,862 --> 00:39:37,551 The biggest confrontation anywhere in the world, 305 00:39:37,551 --> 00:39:38,862 It's all about religion. 306 00:39:42,206 --> 00:39:45,586 The people who say this is an expectation of women, 307 00:39:45,586 --> 00:39:47,344 and this is one expectation of men, 308 00:39:47,344 --> 00:39:49,413 and this is what relationships are. 309 00:39:49,413 --> 00:39:51,655 And the people who think who are defenders 310 00:39:51,655 --> 00:39:52,827 of religion, they are not. 311 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,724 And we are idiots, if you believe it. 312 00:39:56,724 --> 00:39:58,517 We are clearly idiots If we believe that. 313 00:40:08,448 --> 00:40:11,517 As a woman, you are the family pride. 314 00:40:11,517 --> 00:40:14,379 So if you marry someone that is not of your caste, 315 00:40:14,379 --> 00:40:16,275 or who is not of your religion, 316 00:40:16,275 --> 00:40:18,862 That will be like a black stain in the family. 317 00:40:20,620 --> 00:40:22,517 honor killings They are still very common. 318 00:40:24,896 --> 00:40:28,241 The concept of love It does not exist in India. 319 00:40:35,758 --> 00:40:37,379 When I shared with my parents 320 00:40:37,379 --> 00:40:39,931 that I want to marry the man I love, 321 00:40:39,931 --> 00:40:41,793 I was afraid that my parents gave in 322 00:40:41,793 --> 00:40:44,172 to the community pressure and saying no. 323 00:40:47,206 --> 00:40:48,000 - Dad! 324 00:40:53,034 --> 00:40:55,206 Can I see my new shoes? 325 00:40:55,206 --> 00:40:57,172 - Is that what are you waiting? 326 00:40:58,793 --> 00:41:00,724 - [Vithika] My husband is a pilot. 327 00:41:00,724 --> 00:41:03,758 That is why many times we do not know how much time we will be together. 328 00:41:03,758 --> 00:41:05,000 - For how many days? 329 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:05,896 - Three days. 330 00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:06,724 - Yeah! 331 00:41:08,896 --> 00:41:11,068 So we will see my new shoes? 332 00:41:11,068 --> 00:41:11,896 - Yes. 333 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,068 Come on, let's see your things. 334 00:41:15,068 --> 00:41:17,517 - I am very proud of marry the person. 335 00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:18,655 that I wanted to get married. 336 00:41:20,068 --> 00:41:22,172 Soccer shoes! 337 00:41:22,172 --> 00:41:23,551 - Do you like it? 338 00:41:23,551 --> 00:41:24,379 - Yeah. 339 00:41:25,655 --> 00:41:27,758 - I am the first in my family. 340 00:41:27,758 --> 00:41:29,551 not have a arranged marriage. 341 00:41:31,931 --> 00:41:35,000 - "Pim and Pom will be ours forever and ever." 342 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,103 Is it a nice thing to do? 343 00:41:37,103 --> 00:41:38,344 I don't think so. 344 00:41:38,344 --> 00:41:39,827 - No, it's bad. 345 00:41:39,827 --> 00:41:40,827 - It's rude. 346 00:41:45,793 --> 00:41:47,448 - [Vithika] There is religious authorities. 347 00:41:47,448 --> 00:41:49,241 and Hindu fundamentalist groups 348 00:41:49,241 --> 00:41:50,931 that they are beating people. 349 00:41:50,931 --> 00:41:53,448 They say that love marriage is a western concept 350 00:41:53,448 --> 00:41:55,206 and not a part of our culture. 351 00:42:20,172 --> 00:42:23,896 - We want love to be spread in many ways. 352 00:42:23,896 --> 00:42:25,517 We have to love our country. 353 00:42:25,517 --> 00:42:27,517 We have to love our wife. 354 00:42:27,517 --> 00:42:28,896 We have to love our children. 355 00:42:28,896 --> 00:42:30,655 We have to love our father. 356 00:42:30,655 --> 00:42:34,137 In the relationship, the woman must be respected. 357 00:42:36,551 --> 00:42:37,517 That's all, that's all. 358 00:42:37,517 --> 00:42:38,862 - But are women respected? 359 00:42:38,862 --> 00:42:41,413 - No, then that's him beginning. 360 00:42:41,413 --> 00:42:45,000 There is a beginning and there is a behavior. 361 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,241 The beginning is strong, behavior may vary, 362 00:42:48,241 --> 00:42:50,586 and behavior has fluctuations. 363 00:42:50,586 --> 00:42:53,517 That's why we believe in the eternal relationship. 364 00:42:53,517 --> 00:42:55,793 and how the eternal relationship will come 365 00:42:55,793 --> 00:42:57,827 when we follow certain rituals, 366 00:42:57,827 --> 00:42:59,517 When we follow our tradition, 367 00:42:59,517 --> 00:43:00,758 when we follow our roots. 368 00:43:00,758 --> 00:43:02,586 - What specific things do you speak? 369 00:43:02,586 --> 00:43:04,413 when saying that a man should behave like this 370 00:43:04,413 --> 00:43:05,793 And should a woman behave like this? 371 00:43:05,793 --> 00:43:07,586 What are the expectations? 372 00:43:07,586 --> 00:43:09,896 What do you do do you focus when teaching? 373 00:43:10,793 --> 00:43:12,379 - The expectations are there. 374 00:43:14,931 --> 00:43:17,551 Expectation that both They have to follow the Dharma. 375 00:43:19,206 --> 00:43:20,034 That's all. 376 00:43:20,034 --> 00:43:21,241 - So what do you think? 377 00:43:21,241 --> 00:43:22,206 about homosexuality and relationships 378 00:43:22,206 --> 00:43:24,241 between gays and lesbians? 379 00:43:24,241 --> 00:43:28,241 - Actually, we are not in the mood to think about it. 380 00:43:28,241 --> 00:43:29,724 - [Vithika] Okay, that's not important. 381 00:43:29,724 --> 00:43:31,482 - That's not important. 382 00:43:31,482 --> 00:43:33,689 It is the part of Western culture. 383 00:43:33,689 --> 00:43:35,620 The West is the West. 384 00:43:36,586 --> 00:43:38,551 God is present in everything. 385 00:43:38,551 --> 00:43:40,689 God is present everywhere. 386 00:43:40,689 --> 00:43:42,827 So that's also part of life, 387 00:43:42,827 --> 00:43:45,379 but it is not part of our Indian cultural life. 388 00:43:48,103 --> 00:43:50,137 - I feel very frustrated When people can't tell me, 389 00:43:50,137 --> 00:43:51,689 This is a cultural practice. 390 00:43:51,689 --> 00:43:53,241 It's not my fucking culture. 391 00:43:53,241 --> 00:43:54,862 I am Somali, I am African. 392 00:43:54,862 --> 00:43:56,310 I love my culture. 393 00:43:56,310 --> 00:43:57,931 But female genital mutilation definitely It's not my culture. 394 00:43:57,931 --> 00:44:00,103 I'm not claiming it, I refuse to claim it. 395 00:44:04,655 --> 00:44:06,793 The diaspora communities in London, 396 00:44:06,793 --> 00:44:09,862 whether they are Somalis, Nigerians, Sierra Leoneans, 397 00:44:09,862 --> 00:44:11,172 They still practice female genital mutilation. 398 00:44:14,206 --> 00:44:15,034 - This is our table number. 399 00:44:15,034 --> 00:44:16,448 Okay, give your number. 400 00:44:17,862 --> 00:44:18,689 - Nice to finally meet you. 401 00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:19,655 - Nice to meet you! 402 00:44:19,655 --> 00:44:20,931 Because they left their home, 403 00:44:20,931 --> 00:44:22,862 they feel very close to their traditions. 404 00:44:24,379 --> 00:44:25,620 And then he says, oh no. 405 00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:27,206 Especially with his girls. 406 00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:29,586 And female genital mutilation is just one of those things 407 00:44:29,586 --> 00:44:30,931 they really want to conserve. 408 00:44:39,827 --> 00:44:42,482 In the Somali community, 97% of women 409 00:44:42,482 --> 00:44:44,000 They have gone through practice. 410 00:44:48,758 --> 00:44:49,931 I really wanted to understand, 411 00:44:49,931 --> 00:44:52,482 Because I am very close to my mother. 412 00:44:52,482 --> 00:44:54,310 But when I I got involved in this work, 413 00:44:54,310 --> 00:44:57,896 I could see the anger resurface 414 00:44:57,896 --> 00:45:01,344 Thinking, oh why does it, seriously? 415 00:45:01,344 --> 00:45:02,517 And I have a daughter too. 416 00:45:02,517 --> 00:45:03,655 So I thought, hmm. 417 00:45:09,931 --> 00:45:11,551 So listening to her for the first time, 418 00:45:11,551 --> 00:45:14,689 I felt like I was sitting in front of another victim. 419 00:45:14,689 --> 00:45:15,862 of this practice. 420 00:45:18,206 --> 00:45:20,793 I began to realize that there are a preparation process with this, 421 00:45:20,793 --> 00:45:23,275 So my mother was fixed, my grandmother was fixed. 422 00:45:23,275 --> 00:45:26,344 in this idea of be a good mother, 423 00:45:26,344 --> 00:45:27,689 This is what you need to do. 424 00:45:31,448 --> 00:45:33,379 Grooming too It happens with men. 425 00:45:33,379 --> 00:45:35,034 You're not man enough. 426 00:45:35,034 --> 00:45:37,448 Your manhood will be questioned 427 00:45:37,448 --> 00:45:39,724 if you dare to marry a woman 428 00:45:39,724 --> 00:45:41,586 that has not passed through the practice. 429 00:45:50,931 --> 00:45:52,689 It is practiced in all religions. 430 00:45:53,862 --> 00:45:55,758 But none of the sacred books mention female genital mutilation. 431 00:45:57,620 --> 00:45:59,862 It has its origin in the pharaonic era. 432 00:46:06,517 --> 00:46:10,275 The books were collected by misogynistic men, 433 00:46:10,275 --> 00:46:12,103 and interpreted as they wanted, 434 00:46:12,103 --> 00:46:15,172 hence why they can maintain to women not as sexual beings, 435 00:46:15,172 --> 00:46:17,896 but as carriers of family honors. 436 00:46:22,758 --> 00:46:26,586 Sex and sexuality of women They were always controlled 437 00:46:26,586 --> 00:46:27,896 in the name of religion. 438 00:46:44,620 --> 00:46:46,172 They are practicing patriarchy, 439 00:46:46,172 --> 00:46:48,068 which is, you know, that's a religion. 440 00:46:51,344 --> 00:46:52,931 I hate that terminology, marital rape. 441 00:46:52,931 --> 00:46:55,103 there is no marital rape, it is rape. 442 00:46:55,103 --> 00:46:56,827 there is no domestic violence, no, no, no. 443 00:46:56,827 --> 00:46:59,103 Violence has nothing of domestication. 444 00:46:59,103 --> 00:47:01,413 It's just total violence. 445 00:47:01,413 --> 00:47:03,655 Child marriage, it is not child marriage, 446 00:47:03,655 --> 00:47:05,827 It is legalized pedophilia. 447 00:47:05,827 --> 00:47:07,896 Let's use the damn correct language. 448 00:47:07,896 --> 00:47:11,137 It is not female genital mutilation, it is sexual assault on children. 449 00:47:15,862 --> 00:47:18,586 If you are a woman that challenges the patriarchy, 450 00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:22,000 and you are providing sex and sexuality to that conversation, 451 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,206 Run for your life. 452 00:47:26,655 --> 00:47:29,068 I had to move house three times. 453 00:47:29,068 --> 00:47:30,482 My address is protected. 454 00:47:32,413 --> 00:47:33,586 I have a panic alarm. 455 00:47:33,586 --> 00:47:35,137 My daughter was isolated. 456 00:47:36,586 --> 00:47:37,896 I remember that there was an incident 457 00:47:37,896 --> 00:47:39,586 where my daughter was with me, 458 00:47:39,586 --> 00:47:42,000 and a guy spit on the ground 459 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:42,896 and told my daughter, 460 00:47:42,896 --> 00:47:44,655 "That's better than your mom." 461 00:47:47,206 --> 00:47:49,517 There was another incident where 462 00:47:49,517 --> 00:47:51,724 a group of people came and just 463 00:47:51,724 --> 00:47:54,655 He punched me in the face and He told me to shut my mouth. 464 00:48:07,137 --> 00:48:11,586 - As I began, I began to make a nice drawing here. 465 00:48:11,586 --> 00:48:12,448 - Yes. 466 00:48:12,448 --> 00:48:13,655 - And then I just cut, 467 00:48:13,655 --> 00:48:16,724 First I got even worse, but I just accumulate it 468 00:48:16,724 --> 00:48:17,896 a little. 469 00:48:17,896 --> 00:48:19,931 - So this was you final version. 470 00:48:19,931 --> 00:48:21,310 - Yes, the final version of this. 471 00:48:21,310 --> 00:48:22,620 - [Leyla] I'm very proud. 472 00:48:22,620 --> 00:48:24,896 that saved me daughter of female genital mutilation. 473 00:48:24,896 --> 00:48:25,965 More flowers. 474 00:48:27,241 --> 00:48:29,241 My daughter knows a lot about my work. 475 00:48:30,448 --> 00:48:32,655 What about the girls Which ones do I work with? 476 00:48:32,655 --> 00:48:36,068 Who has been subjected to female genital mutilation and have they been abused? 477 00:48:36,068 --> 00:48:37,310 - Yes, that's worrying. 478 00:48:37,310 --> 00:48:39,827 but I don't I was ashamed. 479 00:48:39,827 --> 00:48:41,310 - [Leyla] Don't you Are you ashamed? 480 00:48:41,310 --> 00:48:42,896 Aren't you ashamed that did mom talk about those things? 481 00:48:42,896 --> 00:48:43,724 - Mm-mm. 482 00:48:43,724 --> 00:48:44,551 - [Leyla] No. 483 00:48:46,068 --> 00:48:48,620 But even today, You read biology books. 484 00:48:48,620 --> 00:48:50,965 does not have the clitoral organ. 485 00:48:50,965 --> 00:48:53,586 That feeling of shame. 486 00:48:53,586 --> 00:48:55,758 that as a woman you can't even say 487 00:48:55,758 --> 00:48:59,620 they gave you a body part with which you can have pleasure. 488 00:48:59,620 --> 00:49:00,655 - So what I like. 489 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,137 - Then we'll go swimming. 490 00:49:03,137 --> 00:49:04,172 - What is the official name? 491 00:49:04,172 --> 00:49:05,482 - Come on, you know. 492 00:49:05,482 --> 00:49:09,517 If we were cutting all men's penis, 493 00:49:09,517 --> 00:49:11,000 there would be a scandal. 494 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,206 Actually, I said that There would be no war in Iraq. 495 00:49:12,206 --> 00:49:14,551 because the money would have been spent on it, 496 00:49:14,551 --> 00:49:17,724 It would have been saving men's genitals. 497 00:49:17,724 --> 00:49:19,655 You know, the discussion It's always been, oh no, 498 00:49:19,655 --> 00:49:21,551 Men also undergo circumcision. 499 00:49:21,551 --> 00:49:25,379 Listen, personally, I'm against children being, 500 00:49:25,379 --> 00:49:26,965 They cut off their genitals. 501 00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,344 I think it's wrong. 502 00:49:28,344 --> 00:49:30,034 Touching a child's genitals It's wrong, period. 503 00:49:30,034 --> 00:49:32,344 But you can't compare female genital mutilation with male circumcision, 504 00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:33,689 because to compare, 505 00:49:33,689 --> 00:49:35,482 you have to remove the entire penis. 506 00:51:49,896 --> 00:51:52,206 - One of the strangest stories from the world of 3D printing. 507 00:51:52,206 --> 00:51:54,103 An artist in Tokyo has been arrested 508 00:51:54,103 --> 00:51:57,586 to 3D print a image of her vagina. 509 00:55:16,689 --> 00:55:17,689 - Follow me. 510 00:55:20,724 --> 00:55:23,034 After leaving the chasidic community, 511 00:55:23,034 --> 00:55:24,275 I wrote my story. 512 00:55:25,827 --> 00:55:28,275 And that for me was very enriching. 513 00:55:28,275 --> 00:55:31,172 Finally taking In my own hands the story of my life. 514 00:55:33,379 --> 00:55:35,034 Look, isn't that crazy? 515 00:55:35,034 --> 00:55:37,034 At the social and political level, 516 00:55:37,034 --> 00:55:39,724 the book did something really amazing. 517 00:55:39,724 --> 00:55:41,379 allowed me be the first woman 518 00:55:41,379 --> 00:55:44,413 who left this community and will retain custody of his son. 519 00:55:57,620 --> 00:56:01,137 The book was written mainly to become a public person. 520 00:56:03,275 --> 00:56:05,103 To be able use that 521 00:56:05,103 --> 00:56:07,448 as a lever against the community, 522 00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:10,344 and prevent They take my son away from me. 523 00:56:10,344 --> 00:56:13,275 Hi, I'm Deborah Feldman, author of "Unorthodox." 524 00:56:13,275 --> 00:56:15,586 and you have to follow your own path. 525 00:56:17,068 --> 00:56:19,965 Because this community does not wants press attention. 526 00:56:19,965 --> 00:56:21,931 They don't want their private customs and rituals 527 00:56:21,931 --> 00:56:23,448 in the media. 528 00:56:23,448 --> 00:56:24,724 As soon as they realized that I was causing that, 529 00:56:24,724 --> 00:56:27,034 They said, okay, we have than leave her alone. 530 00:56:27,034 --> 00:56:29,275 because this is going to look very bad for us. 531 00:56:29,275 --> 00:56:31,448 I wasn't ready to have contact. physical with someone. 532 00:56:31,448 --> 00:56:34,758 And I simply, my body, my My mind and my heart said no. 533 00:56:35,586 --> 00:56:37,103 I feel like I got up 534 00:56:37,103 --> 00:56:39,344 in a very quiet room and I said something shocking, 535 00:56:39,344 --> 00:56:41,620 and the people were bewildered. 536 00:56:41,620 --> 00:56:45,862 But then people got stood up and joined me. 537 00:56:48,379 --> 00:56:49,620 Look ahead. 538 00:56:49,620 --> 00:56:50,862 Next to the sign with the red line, 539 00:56:50,862 --> 00:56:53,689 to the right is the building with crosses 540 00:56:53,689 --> 00:56:56,448 I never had access to the rights. 541 00:56:56,448 --> 00:56:58,344 that most Americans have. 542 00:56:59,793 --> 00:57:01,793 Because this country I had already decided 543 00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:05,655 Before I was born, the women from my community 544 00:57:05,655 --> 00:57:07,172 I didn't have to be protected, 545 00:57:07,172 --> 00:57:11,758 or did not deserve the same constitutional protection 546 00:57:11,758 --> 00:57:13,379 like any other American citizen. 547 00:57:13,379 --> 00:57:14,241 Because? 548 00:57:14,241 --> 00:57:15,241 Because of my culture. 549 00:57:20,517 --> 00:57:23,241 I decided to move to Berlin. 550 00:57:24,620 --> 00:57:26,172 This could be the place where 551 00:57:26,172 --> 00:57:29,034 I'm done trying with all my strength to adapt. 552 01:00:25,896 --> 01:00:28,241 - Everyone needs know about male orgasms. 553 01:00:28,241 --> 01:00:30,241 Female orgasms, everything type of orgasms. 554 01:00:30,241 --> 01:00:31,448 I'm sure you know that. 555 01:00:31,448 --> 01:00:32,413 - Nothing to know 556 01:00:32,413 --> 01:00:34,379 about male orgasms there. 557 01:00:40,137 --> 01:00:41,793 The male orgasm It's like a quickie. 558 01:00:44,034 --> 01:00:45,586 - Do you know anything about that? 559 01:00:45,586 --> 01:00:47,862 about the fact that, of course, women also like orgasms 560 01:00:47,862 --> 01:00:49,413 just like men. 561 01:00:49,413 --> 01:00:51,379 That should be really the context. 562 01:00:52,896 --> 01:00:54,482 Why can't you do it much simpler? 563 01:00:54,482 --> 01:00:56,310 Say that women They want to have orgasms. 564 01:00:56,310 --> 01:00:57,896 and the men want to give them? 565 01:00:57,896 --> 01:00:59,758 - Men would do anything to give it to him. 566 01:00:59,758 --> 01:01:01,931 - No, because you are making a statement there. 567 01:01:01,931 --> 01:01:03,241 Not all men are so great. 568 01:01:04,517 --> 01:01:05,379 - [Man] Really? 569 01:01:05,379 --> 01:01:06,793 - Yes, maybe you are. 570 01:01:14,310 --> 01:01:16,103 Women want to have orgasms. 571 01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:18,000 More than one. 572 01:01:19,793 --> 01:01:20,620 And three points. 573 01:01:23,931 --> 01:01:25,931 - [Woman] And don't forget about the clitoris. 574 01:01:27,655 --> 01:01:30,862 Once it's ready, you will be able to explore deeper. 575 01:05:17,137 --> 01:05:19,689 - The idea of enjoying Sex is a journey. 576 01:05:20,896 --> 01:05:22,655 That's why many Women don't enjoy sex. 577 01:05:22,655 --> 01:05:25,068 In general, because They hate their bodies. 578 01:05:25,068 --> 01:05:27,862 So if you hate your body, You are intense all the time. 579 01:05:27,862 --> 01:05:29,241 How are you supposed to go to enjoy it? 580 01:05:29,241 --> 01:05:31,793 The number of women who They fake the orgasm, my God. 581 01:05:32,896 --> 01:05:35,551 My God, it's like a choir around the world. 582 01:05:35,551 --> 01:05:38,379 Women just, ah, It's like a, 583 01:05:38,379 --> 01:05:40,206 it's like scream, scream, 584 01:05:40,206 --> 01:05:42,551 pretending they came or They can do it, but no. 585 01:05:49,758 --> 01:05:51,827 Our bodies have been controlled for so long, 586 01:05:51,827 --> 01:05:53,482 we didn't even know what we enjoyed 587 01:05:53,482 --> 01:05:54,689 or what was pleasant. 588 01:05:57,655 --> 01:06:00,896 Women must remember that They are actually owners of their bodies. 589 01:06:00,896 --> 01:06:03,137 We still live in a society where our body still feels 590 01:06:03,137 --> 01:06:05,793 belongs to others. 591 01:06:05,793 --> 01:06:08,103 They tell us how our breasts should be seen. 592 01:06:09,482 --> 01:06:11,379 Designer vaginas are one of the largest. 593 01:06:11,379 --> 01:06:13,103 Cosmetic surgeries today. 594 01:06:16,206 --> 01:06:18,827 This idea of women's bodies 595 01:06:18,827 --> 01:06:23,310 and genitals inserted , pricked or cut 596 01:06:23,310 --> 01:06:26,172 For the sake of men, It is a global problem. 597 01:06:30,379 --> 01:06:32,206 ♪ I love you Jesus 598 01:06:32,206 --> 01:06:33,517 ♪ You are my savior 599 01:06:33,517 --> 01:06:34,965 ♪ I love you Jesus 600 01:06:34,965 --> 01:06:37,482 ♪ You are my savior 601 01:06:37,482 --> 01:06:38,862 ♪ I love you Jesus 602 01:06:38,862 --> 01:06:40,758 ♪ You are my savior 603 01:06:40,758 --> 01:06:42,689 ♪ I love you Jesus 604 01:06:42,689 --> 01:06:44,758 ♪ You are my savior 605 01:06:44,758 --> 01:06:46,482 ♪ I love you Jesus 606 01:06:46,482 --> 01:06:48,310 ♪ You are my savior 607 01:06:48,310 --> 01:06:50,206 ♪ I love you Jesus 608 01:06:50,206 --> 01:06:52,379 ♪ You are my savior 609 01:06:52,379 --> 01:06:53,827 ♪ I love you Jesus 610 01:06:55,448 --> 01:06:58,000 Girl Generation is a program to end female genital mutilation 611 01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,827 in 10 African countries. 612 01:07:01,413 --> 01:07:03,034 I was involved in this from day one. 613 01:07:04,241 --> 01:07:06,931 As a therapist, my work has been based 614 01:07:06,931 --> 01:07:11,896 about working with women to recover your sexuality, 615 01:07:12,758 --> 01:07:14,172 and recover their bodies. 616 01:07:14,172 --> 01:07:15,689 Welcome, Fatima. 617 01:07:15,689 --> 01:07:19,241 So Fatima is an award-winning lawyer , a human rights lawyer. 618 01:07:19,241 --> 01:07:22,103 So I wanted this session It wouldn't inspire me. 619 01:07:22,103 --> 01:07:24,620 I think we all learn together at the same time. 620 01:07:24,620 --> 01:07:26,275 The way the world is now, 621 01:07:26,275 --> 01:07:27,517 My greatest allies are women. 622 01:07:27,517 --> 01:07:29,724 I am the oldest preacher of the brotherhood. 623 01:07:31,689 --> 01:07:34,000 - [Woman] But what How important is female genital mutilation and purity? 624 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,241 to young men practicing communities? 625 01:07:36,241 --> 01:07:37,241 Living in the UK. 626 01:07:38,448 --> 01:07:40,896 - Sex before marriage It's a no, no, no, no. 627 01:07:43,862 --> 01:07:46,068 - It would be good than a future wife, 628 01:07:46,068 --> 01:07:47,068 that she would be a virgin. 629 01:07:47,068 --> 01:07:48,517 - I heard that if you leave, 630 01:07:48,517 --> 01:07:50,344 then calm the person down. 631 01:07:50,344 --> 01:07:52,586 - First, I need that they understand. 632 01:07:52,586 --> 01:07:54,068 what is going to be lost. 633 01:07:55,275 --> 01:07:57,206 This is the great wall of vaginas. 634 01:07:59,068 --> 01:08:02,827 So basically the objective of this is to show 635 01:08:02,827 --> 01:08:04,758 that we are all different. 636 01:08:04,758 --> 01:08:06,344 I mean, you can get closer if you want to take a look. 637 01:08:06,344 --> 01:08:07,827 And just look, right? 638 01:08:10,137 --> 01:08:11,827 No, do you want to stay distant? 639 01:08:11,827 --> 01:08:12,655 - [Man] Yes. 640 01:08:12,655 --> 01:08:14,206 - Are you embarrassed? 641 01:08:14,206 --> 01:08:17,000 The first thing I'll show you is how type one female genital mutilation occurs. 642 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:17,800 Yeah? 643 01:08:18,517 --> 01:08:22,034 So, that's the clitoris and that's the clitoral hook. 644 01:08:23,517 --> 01:08:27,758 Clicking like this, and then the blood has to flow. 645 01:08:27,758 --> 01:08:30,620 In certain communities, type one usually means 646 01:08:30,620 --> 01:08:34,448 cutting this. 647 01:08:36,655 --> 01:08:39,068 Many women who have undergone female genital mutilation 648 01:08:39,068 --> 01:08:42,482 do not feel pleasure what has happened, 649 01:08:42,482 --> 01:08:45,068 Because that part of your body I was traumatized, basically. 650 01:08:45,068 --> 01:08:49,482 Now I'll show you how type three is performed. 651 01:08:49,482 --> 01:08:52,379 All this must be eliminated. 652 01:08:52,379 --> 01:08:53,379 Look, all that. 653 01:08:54,241 --> 01:08:55,689 All of this. 654 01:08:55,689 --> 01:08:56,896 These are the small lips that I'm cutting now, okay? 655 01:08:56,896 --> 01:09:00,862 Next, the labia majora are also removed. 656 01:09:00,862 --> 01:09:01,896 - [Man] No. 657 01:09:01,896 --> 01:09:03,172 - [Leyla] Yes. 658 01:09:04,310 --> 01:09:06,758 So this is a needle and a thread. 659 01:09:06,758 --> 01:09:10,206 Then you start to sew it. 660 01:09:11,724 --> 01:09:15,310 Basically all this It will close to a certain extent. 661 01:09:15,310 --> 01:09:17,137 And do you see that little hole? 662 01:09:17,137 --> 01:09:19,206 - That's torture, right? 663 01:09:19,206 --> 01:09:20,965 - [Leyla] I feel like They're in shock or something. 664 01:09:20,965 --> 01:09:23,862 I showed them images of female genital mutilation. 665 01:09:23,862 --> 01:09:25,724 And its effects. 666 01:09:25,724 --> 01:09:27,206 - Those are babies. 667 01:09:27,206 --> 01:09:28,103 - Those are babies. 668 01:09:29,379 --> 01:09:30,103 - [Leyla] Yes. 669 01:09:31,517 --> 01:09:33,689 That's type three. 670 01:09:35,517 --> 01:09:36,275 - Sad. 671 01:09:37,758 --> 01:09:40,034 - And that's a real person who lives like this every day. 672 01:09:42,034 --> 01:09:42,896 - It's not fair. 673 01:09:45,068 --> 01:09:46,000 Craziness. 674 01:09:49,068 --> 01:09:51,034 - Why are we doing this? 675 01:09:51,034 --> 01:09:53,206 Why do our elders do this? 676 01:09:53,206 --> 01:09:54,896 Why don't they do nothing about it? 677 01:09:54,896 --> 01:09:57,241 Because this is the first time I see this. 678 01:09:57,241 --> 01:10:00,344 and now I am completely against it. 679 01:10:02,655 --> 01:10:04,275 - Can someone turn it on for me? light please? 680 01:10:04,275 --> 01:10:05,103 Thank you. 681 01:10:08,310 --> 01:10:10,827 Does anyone want to say something, a comment? 682 01:10:10,827 --> 01:10:12,517 - I continued imagining my cousins. 683 01:10:14,551 --> 01:10:16,068 And in all this... - It's okay. 684 01:10:16,068 --> 01:10:19,448 - In my family, I am the only one male child of my family. 685 01:10:20,965 --> 01:10:23,965 Just seeing this really has, 686 01:10:24,896 --> 01:10:26,758 but it's good to talk, 687 01:10:26,758 --> 01:10:30,586 because the more it is Inside, it kills you. 688 01:10:30,586 --> 01:10:31,379 So it's good to let it out. 689 01:10:31,379 --> 01:10:32,655 It's good to talk. 690 01:10:32,655 --> 01:10:34,379 Don't be ashamed of talk how you feel. 691 01:10:34,379 --> 01:10:36,448 - I confess, I haven't had the courage 692 01:10:36,448 --> 01:10:37,689 look at myself. 693 01:10:40,068 --> 01:10:41,793 They cut me off, but I haven't had the courage 694 01:10:41,793 --> 01:10:43,241 look at myself. 695 01:10:43,241 --> 01:10:46,137 So even look at everything What you presented was difficult, 696 01:10:46,137 --> 01:10:48,862 and instead I was busy drawing my own little flower, 697 01:10:48,862 --> 01:10:50,862 and I just passed out. 698 01:10:50,862 --> 01:10:52,206 I have a daughter now. 699 01:10:52,206 --> 01:10:53,896 She is three years old. 700 01:10:53,896 --> 01:10:55,827 Surely not the they are going to cut 701 01:10:55,827 --> 01:10:58,034 and there is the whole stereotype of, 702 01:10:58,034 --> 01:10:59,517 I am Muslim, I wear a veil. 703 01:11:00,827 --> 01:11:03,103 And my question is: how do we change? 704 01:11:03,103 --> 01:11:04,448 The whole narrative in your head? 705 01:11:04,448 --> 01:11:05,931 And that has been my struggle. 706 01:11:07,275 --> 01:11:10,275 - The muse of my work, It's my daughter. 707 01:11:10,275 --> 01:11:13,758 So my vision has always been how to protect her from this. 708 01:11:22,931 --> 01:11:24,448 I'm sorry. 709 01:11:24,448 --> 01:11:26,965 I'm sorry, I think I have all your things 710 01:11:26,965 --> 01:11:28,034 I'm sorry. 711 01:11:28,034 --> 01:11:29,862 He is protecting the children. 712 01:11:29,862 --> 01:11:30,758 Guys, it's not easy. 713 01:11:30,758 --> 01:11:31,965 I promise you it's not. 714 01:11:31,965 --> 01:11:34,068 You know, it's not something easy to do. 715 01:11:35,275 --> 01:11:37,793 You immobilized a child, you grabbed it, 716 01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:40,310 you separated their legs, you went for his genitals, 717 01:11:40,310 --> 01:11:41,689 and you put a knife on him. 718 01:11:43,206 --> 01:11:45,206 It's just amazing. 719 01:11:45,206 --> 01:11:47,103 Unbelievable, I'm so literally, 720 01:11:47,103 --> 01:11:48,965 Just in these last three weeks, 721 01:11:48,965 --> 01:11:50,758 I've been so like... 722 01:11:55,137 --> 01:11:55,965 I'm sorry. 723 01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:14,206 How it bothers me. 724 01:12:14,206 --> 01:12:15,689 It's so disturbing. 725 01:12:15,689 --> 01:12:18,379 We have to keep explaining to people that this is wrong. 726 01:12:18,379 --> 01:12:19,448 I'm sick of this. 727 01:12:19,448 --> 01:12:20,931 I'm so sick of this. 728 01:12:52,724 --> 01:12:54,137 - We are talking consent here. 729 01:12:54,137 --> 01:12:56,379 We are talking about respect each other. 730 01:12:56,379 --> 01:12:58,965 We are talking about equality of rights for women and girls. 731 01:13:08,103 --> 01:13:10,034 One thing is clear. 732 01:13:10,034 --> 01:13:13,103 The young people have questions about sex. 733 01:13:13,103 --> 01:13:15,862 And the only answers that can be found online. 734 01:13:15,862 --> 01:13:17,034 They are pornography. 735 01:13:20,413 --> 01:13:22,379 This leads to major problems. 736 01:13:22,379 --> 01:13:23,689 How they look at gender. 737 01:13:23,689 --> 01:13:25,206 How they look at respect, 738 01:13:25,206 --> 01:13:27,379 and consent and relationships. 739 01:13:27,379 --> 01:13:28,758 Because all these things 740 01:13:28,758 --> 01:13:31,068 They are simply non-existent in most pornographic films. 741 01:13:36,241 --> 01:13:37,862 What happened in Delhi? 742 01:13:37,862 --> 01:13:40,103 the gang rape that occurred, 743 01:13:40,103 --> 01:13:44,068 There are many of these cases that happen every day. 744 01:13:45,724 --> 01:13:47,862 every day you will hear about 745 01:13:47,862 --> 01:13:49,689 raped women and girls. 746 01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:04,448 Guys, I'm Vithika. 747 01:14:04,448 --> 01:14:06,275 I'm the director of Love Matters. 748 01:14:06,275 --> 01:14:09,620 I just want to say thank you very much 749 01:14:09,620 --> 01:14:12,448 to each of you for working so hard 750 01:14:12,448 --> 01:14:14,000 to put things together. 751 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:18,103 A very sincere thank you from Love Matters Globally. 752 01:14:18,103 --> 01:14:19,965 It's amazing. 753 01:18:56,586 --> 01:18:58,689 - [Deborah] Benjamin was one of the few people 754 01:18:58,689 --> 01:19:00,137 that I met in Berlin. 755 01:19:02,172 --> 01:19:05,068 grew up in a Hasidic community in Israel. 756 01:19:06,517 --> 01:19:09,275 He was gay, but they forced him to enter into an arranged marriage. 757 01:19:09,275 --> 01:19:11,103 She had a son and then she left. 758 01:19:15,689 --> 01:19:18,448 Benjamin and I decided that we would work together. 759 01:19:18,448 --> 01:19:22,275 challenge people's ideas about what femininity can be. 760 01:19:22,275 --> 01:19:26,448 Question this barrier between the two genders. 761 01:19:26,448 --> 01:19:27,965 - It was worse to have the movie. 762 01:19:27,965 --> 01:19:30,586 Just for this shoot yeah, for me. 763 01:19:34,344 --> 01:19:37,344 - There was a famous saying in the secular world. 764 01:19:37,344 --> 01:19:40,172 Beauty is a rent you pay 765 01:19:40,172 --> 01:19:42,482 for existing in the feminine space. 766 01:19:44,103 --> 01:19:45,827 Something like this, yeah? 767 01:19:46,965 --> 01:19:50,448 I have to be feminine, attractive, sweet, 768 01:19:50,448 --> 01:19:52,931 before I can achieve anything else 769 01:19:52,931 --> 01:19:54,344 or even talk about anything else. 770 01:19:54,344 --> 01:19:56,931 First I have to establish this fact. 771 01:19:58,827 --> 01:20:00,344 Who arranged that? 772 01:20:00,344 --> 01:20:02,241 That's still what defines our difference with men. 773 01:20:03,482 --> 01:20:05,931 When they look for a education or a career, 774 01:20:05,931 --> 01:20:08,068 They don't think first Am I pretty enough? 775 01:20:09,448 --> 01:20:11,689 Women often ask themselves: 776 01:20:11,689 --> 01:20:15,137 Am I beautiful enough to deserve this life? 777 01:20:18,793 --> 01:20:20,275 - Wow this is great. 778 01:20:22,275 --> 01:20:23,620 Incredible incredible. 779 01:20:24,827 --> 01:20:25,655 - Calm down. 780 01:20:41,137 --> 01:20:42,620 This world we live in 781 01:20:42,620 --> 01:20:45,103 that offers so many pressure messages to women 782 01:20:45,103 --> 01:20:47,310 also offers in the other side of the coin 783 01:20:47,310 --> 01:20:50,068 this message to men, it is not necessary. 784 01:20:51,793 --> 01:20:53,310 You don't have to understand the woman. 785 01:20:53,310 --> 01:20:55,620 You don't have to give it pleasure to the woman. 786 01:20:55,620 --> 01:20:57,931 You don't have to support women, 787 01:20:57,931 --> 01:20:59,517 because this It is not the priority. 788 01:20:59,517 --> 01:21:03,827 And in a sense, we are all victims of these messages. 789 01:21:12,172 --> 01:21:15,241 We cannot isolate the role of men 790 01:21:15,241 --> 01:21:16,310 and the role of women. 791 01:21:17,862 --> 01:21:19,482 They influence each other. 792 01:21:36,379 --> 01:21:37,862 - [Leyla] So here it is where your session is based. 793 01:21:37,862 --> 01:21:40,310 - Yes, this is where we made the song. 794 01:21:41,241 --> 01:21:43,241 - So this is where Magic happens, right? 795 01:21:43,241 --> 01:21:44,551 I guess people tell you: 796 01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:45,551 This is a women's problem. 797 01:21:45,551 --> 01:21:47,413 Why would you get involved? 798 01:21:47,413 --> 01:21:49,586 - I have to be at the vanguard as a man, 799 01:21:49,586 --> 01:21:53,310 and I must make sure that Other men follow suit. 800 01:21:54,758 --> 01:21:58,413 First of all, the greatest challenge I had was that 801 01:21:58,413 --> 01:22:00,379 I am not of the Maasai community. 802 01:22:01,620 --> 01:22:03,620 Come to a community to which you do not belong 803 01:22:03,620 --> 01:22:06,620 and tell them to stop female genital mutilation, 804 01:22:06,620 --> 01:22:08,068 It's war. 805 01:22:08,068 --> 01:22:10,413 Some idiot wanted to harpoon me. 806 01:22:10,413 --> 01:22:11,448 - [Leyla] Did you want throw the spear at you? 807 01:22:11,448 --> 01:22:12,448 - Yes. 808 01:22:12,620 --> 01:22:13,896 - Oh my god. 809 01:22:13,896 --> 01:22:15,137 - Yes, just because I was saying that. 810 01:22:15,137 --> 01:22:16,068 We are the boys who We are telling the girls. 811 01:22:16,068 --> 01:22:17,275 not submit to the cut. 812 01:22:34,724 --> 01:22:37,482 ♪ Make a difference 813 01:22:37,482 --> 01:22:41,793 ♪ If we say no to female genital mutilation 814 01:22:41,793 --> 01:22:44,103 ♪ you and me 815 01:22:45,413 --> 01:22:47,275 The lands are very difficult to cross. 816 01:22:47,275 --> 01:22:48,103 You see the terrain. 817 01:22:48,103 --> 01:22:49,241 - [Woman] Yes. 818 01:22:49,241 --> 01:22:50,137 I mean, I was raining, you can see. 819 01:22:50,137 --> 01:22:51,620 - [Man] They are our boys. 820 01:22:51,620 --> 01:22:53,586 - And his Kenyan flag right in the middle, I love it. 821 01:22:58,241 --> 01:22:59,896 So is this a ritual they do? 822 01:22:59,896 --> 01:23:00,862 When does someone come? 823 01:23:16,482 --> 01:23:18,482 She's flirting with you. 824 01:23:18,482 --> 01:23:20,275 Oh, bless her, how pretty. 825 01:23:55,689 --> 01:23:57,310 - [Leyla] Are we saying female genital mutilation then? 826 01:23:57,310 --> 01:23:59,517 Is it really bad for men? 827 01:26:56,344 --> 01:26:59,344 ♪ Rokudenashiko 828 01:27:01,137 --> 01:27:06,103 ♪ will you be mine? 829 01:27:07,068 --> 01:27:11,206 ♪ From Stockholm to Glasgow 830 01:27:12,103 --> 01:27:15,034 ♪ You have destroyed my mind 831 01:27:30,241 --> 01:27:33,241 ♪ Rokudenashiko 832 01:27:36,310 --> 01:27:40,275 ♪ Love is the sweetest of words ♪ 833 01:27:41,448 --> 01:27:44,103 ♪ Rokudenashiko 834 01:28:01,310 --> 01:28:02,793 - Are you excited? 835 01:28:03,793 --> 01:28:06,310 We are talking about love. 836 01:28:06,310 --> 01:28:09,172 We are talking about healthy relationships. 837 01:28:09,172 --> 01:28:11,827 We are talking about consent. 838 01:28:11,827 --> 01:28:14,310 Or if you want to declare your love to someone, 839 01:28:14,310 --> 01:28:16,482 Please come on stage. 840 01:28:16,482 --> 01:28:18,000 - I just want to say one thing. 841 01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:20,137 That Prateek, I love you. 842 01:28:20,137 --> 01:28:21,793 - Wow that's great! 843 01:28:28,517 --> 01:28:29,931 - I love you too, Rupat. 844 01:28:35,689 --> 01:28:37,931 - We have the power to communicate with men. 845 01:28:37,931 --> 01:28:40,172 on the most difficult topics. 846 01:28:40,172 --> 01:28:42,793 It is very difficult to men talk about things. 847 01:28:42,793 --> 01:28:44,793 which actually questions his masculinity 848 01:28:44,793 --> 01:28:48,068 or patriarchal structures that we have in this society. 849 01:29:07,724 --> 01:29:10,344 Women are no different from men. 850 01:29:20,862 --> 01:29:23,413 If we think that pleasure It is important for men, 851 01:29:23,413 --> 01:29:24,724 Which, of course, is, 852 01:29:24,724 --> 01:29:26,655 It is also equally important for women. 853 01:29:29,413 --> 01:29:31,379 It's really important just recognize 854 01:29:31,379 --> 01:29:32,655 that women are not aliens. 855 01:29:34,344 --> 01:29:36,000 You know, we all enjoy sex. 856 01:29:37,344 --> 01:29:38,517 Let's accept it. 857 01:32:39,310 --> 01:32:40,724 - Benjamin brought I get 858 01:32:40,724 --> 01:32:43,103 a religious prayer shawl called tallit. 859 01:32:44,310 --> 01:32:46,310 Something men use to pray. 860 01:32:46,310 --> 01:32:47,655 Something that normally a woman 861 01:32:47,655 --> 01:32:49,103 He's not even allowed to touch. 862 01:32:58,137 --> 01:32:59,896 Have it in my body, 863 01:32:59,896 --> 01:33:03,758 you announce yourself, to the world, to God, 864 01:33:03,758 --> 01:33:07,448 that the female body It's just as holy 865 01:33:07,448 --> 01:33:10,586 So precious, so valuable as that of man. 866 01:33:13,586 --> 01:33:15,068 It's a huge victory. 867 01:33:24,586 --> 01:33:28,620 This was a way of feeling that the body is something natural. 868 01:33:28,620 --> 01:33:31,068 like water, like trees, like sand. 869 01:33:35,034 --> 01:33:37,034 It can't be that God hate women. 870 01:33:37,034 --> 01:33:39,206 as much as religion seems to do it. 871 01:33:46,275 --> 01:33:48,862 How can you be a Loving God and hating women? 872 01:33:51,413 --> 01:33:52,206 Not working. 873 01:34:01,000 --> 01:34:03,000 It is not a question to set a gender 874 01:34:03,000 --> 01:34:04,275 before the other. 875 01:34:05,275 --> 01:34:07,448 This is a group effort. 876 01:34:07,448 --> 01:34:09,103 We all have to change. 877 01:34:28,517 --> 01:34:30,000 - Can you imagine? yes all our children 878 01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:31,620 Did you learn this a very young age? 879 01:34:33,103 --> 01:34:34,586 That you don't rape. 880 01:34:34,586 --> 01:34:36,310 That you are the owner of your body. 881 01:34:36,310 --> 01:34:37,965 May you protect your body. 882 01:34:37,965 --> 01:34:39,448 That you have a voice. 883 01:34:39,448 --> 01:34:42,482 Imagine if we taught that to the children every day from kindergarten. 884 01:34:42,482 --> 01:34:44,137 ♪ I love you Jesus 885 01:34:44,137 --> 01:34:45,862 ♪ You are my savior 886 01:34:45,862 --> 01:34:48,931 I just wanted to look this beautiful view. 887 01:34:48,931 --> 01:34:50,620 Yes, so beautiful. 888 01:34:52,931 --> 01:34:55,620 Can I ask a personal question? 889 01:34:55,620 --> 01:34:57,000 Who has been cut? 890 01:35:02,310 --> 01:35:03,724 Me too. 891 01:35:03,724 --> 01:35:04,827 They are surprised that he had done it to me. 892 01:35:04,827 --> 01:35:06,172 - Yes a lot. 893 01:35:06,172 --> 01:35:07,586 - I was too, yes. 894 01:35:07,586 --> 01:35:10,517 I could see your face, she seemed surprised. 895 01:35:10,517 --> 01:35:11,517 It happens, it happens to girls. 896 01:35:11,517 --> 01:35:12,931 who also live in London. 897 01:35:12,931 --> 01:35:15,689 It's not just about Kenya a town somewhere. 898 01:35:16,896 --> 01:35:18,862 Would you want that for your daughters? 899 01:35:27,551 --> 01:35:28,862 - They say no. 900 01:35:28,862 --> 01:35:30,862 They won't do that for his daughters. 901 01:35:39,896 --> 01:35:42,931 - I'm sitting here, just overwhelmed, 902 01:35:42,931 --> 01:35:47,689 because I know what it is undergo this practice, 903 01:35:47,689 --> 01:35:50,379 and I wish I had women like these 904 01:35:51,551 --> 01:35:52,862 who came to my rescue. 905 01:35:54,172 --> 01:35:55,689 Because let me tell you, when women get together 906 01:35:55,689 --> 01:35:58,827 and protect you, no one You will be able to go beyond that circle.