1 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:15,203 - May I help you, sir? - Lonely are the insomniacs. 2 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:21,044 I've been tossing and turning in my sleep, and this blanket is very, very itchy. 3 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,885 Could you please take it away? If that's not too much trouble. 4 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,446 - Of course. - Thank you. 5 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,960 - Oh! - Oh. 6 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,211 A stowaway. He's a big boy. 7 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,601 I probably should have bought him another seat. 8 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,165 Maybe I should call the pilot. 9 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,924 Well, I don't think he wants to meet him. 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,801 You know, I've noticed that you haven't asked me to put him back in his crib. 11 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,281 - What are you doing? - I'm writing down my number. 12 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,408 Don't bother. I am not going to call you. 13 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,482 No, no, no. This is my bank balance. 14 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,690 And now you've seen my two biggest assets. 15 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:57,243 If you don't mind, I'd like you to go to the bathroom and get yourself prepared. 16 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,970 If that's fine with you. 17 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,327 Thank you again for being so helpful. 18 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,724 You can open your eyes now. 19 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,768 You saw that, yeah? 20 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,683 That's how you do it. 21 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,120 I'll be four and a half minutes. 22 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,123 Order in the court. I object to this divorce. 23 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,567 Lawyers, you've done a magnificent job 24 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,847 of helping me butt-fuck my wife in this settlement. 25 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,763 But your services are no longer needed. 26 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,285 Effective immediately, you're all fired. 27 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,761 - What did you call us in here for? - Overruled! 28 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,286 Get the fuck out of here, God damn it. Now! 29 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,125 Get those motherfucking attaches out of here. 30 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,521 There's a special place in hell for guys like you. 31 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,923 April, I lost my way. 32 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,526 I spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering where I went wrong. 33 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,284 But a great change has occurred. 34 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,964 I love my family now. 35 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,089 Now is not the time to have this discussion, Kenny. 36 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,970 - It's too late. - It's only too late if we sign those documents. 37 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,647 - Don't engage, April. - You shut your mouth, you white hookey! 38 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,011 April, I've grown a lot as a man since the holidays. 39 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,926 Now all I ask of you is to think about this decision. 40 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,650 Search your feelings. 41 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,963 If a week from now your heart tells you this is the right move, 42 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,003 then I'll gladly sign those papers. 43 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,685 We can wait a week. 44 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,330 Right? 45 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,165 You made a wise decision here today. 46 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,609 Let the thinking and contemplating begin now. 47 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,884 Everyone. Crew people. Laborers. 48 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,281 Migrant workers. Please, gather round. Everyone. 49 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,681 I know a lot of you guys are very upset with me 50 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,411 for my behavior on the Christmas Special. 51 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,370 I want to prove to you guys that I am willing to turn over a new leaf. 52 00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,525 I'm gonna make a sacrifice right now. 53 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,011 Billy, Trent. 54 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,765 Please step-eth forward to-eth me. Thank you. 55 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,162 Please remove your black Wilson Leather jackets and place them upon the floor. 56 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,651 You all behold this? 57 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,485 These are my muscles. And look at them now. 58 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,040 Just cheap black T-shirts. 59 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,646 You're fired. Get the fuck outta here. 60 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,007 True change. We're all capable of it. 61 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,730 Let's fucking get this show back on track! 62 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,689 - Let's... - Mr. Powers. 63 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,842 Mr. Powers. Sorry to interrupt, 64 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,208 but before you apologize, perhaps you'd like to hear what we have to say. 65 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,443 I'm trying to bond with my crew right now. So maybe this can wait, suit. 66 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,887 My name is Ronnie Thelman. 67 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,009 And this here is my friend's son, Jerome. 68 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,050 I'm sorry, why do I care about your family tree slash life story? 69 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,169 Well, you see, I'm head of the network, and therefore, your boss. 70 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,089 Oh. My bad. Very fascinating story. Please continue, I'm sorry. 71 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,730 - Come here, Mr. Powers. - Okay. Yeah. 72 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,484 Come on. 73 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,728 Kenny, I think you're great. 74 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,165 I saw your Christmas Special, 75 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,005 and I thought it was the most fantastic bit of television I've ever seen. 76 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:02,130 The fact that it was Christmas and yet you was behaving in the most selfish manner was... 77 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,567 It was a breath of fresh air. 78 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,125 I wanna renew your contract. 79 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,850 I wanna offer you a new show. 80 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,446 - Your own show. - Are you serious? 81 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,370 Yeah. I want you to be the next Ellen DeGeneres. 82 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,926 Well, she's pretty dope, but she's a lesbian. 83 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,001 I know she's a lesbian. 84 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,684 I was in the meeting where we decided she should be one. 85 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,082 And I was in the meeting where we decided that Ryan Seacrest should be straight. 86 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,401 - That was a good call. - You know what? 87 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,608 I think for your first show, I've got the idea. 88 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,684 It's gonna be a world exclusive interview of Guy Young. 89 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,808 First time since his fall from grace. 90 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,281 Get him on the couch. Get him to apologize. 91 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,091 You know, maybe shed some tears. You know, really open up. 92 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,447 Well, I mean, that sounds like a great idea in theory, 93 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,602 but Guy Young and myself are not really friends. 94 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,409 I mean, he's a mess. I destroyed the man's life. 95 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,447 I know you did. 96 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,171 I mean, the thing is, you know, you either want the show or you don't. 97 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,208 No, no, no. You want Guy Young? 98 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,647 - I'll get you Guy Young. - Fantastic. 99 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,484 Jerome, you look tired. 100 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,085 Do you want a break? 101 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,926 Any of you girls any good with children? 102 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,764 Great. This is Jerome. He's 13 years old. 103 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:04,401 Do you mind taking him into the other room and sucking his willy off? 104 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,209 - Kenny. - Kenny. 105 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,248 - There he is. - Kenny's here. 106 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,685 Looking good, champ. 107 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,081 You think I look good. 108 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:16,051 Look at all the little worker bees tending to their queen. 109 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,441 That's good, little muchachos, helping your father. 110 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:23,242 I tell you, trying to kill myself was the best thing I ever did. 111 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,084 - It's pretty awesome. - Good? 112 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,164 What a nice family. Thank you, guys. 113 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,891 Look at us, man. Two dudes on the mend, huh? 114 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,930 With this new television show, we're gonna be more famous than Oprah Winfrey. 115 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,288 Speaking of, I read your screenplay. 116 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,522 Finally, motherfucker. Jesus Christ. 117 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,965 I've been sitting here on goddamn pins and needles. 118 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,371 What'd you think? You love it? 119 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,523 Uh, it was good. It was... 120 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,082 - I like the stage directions. - Hmm? 121 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,248 The stage directions? 122 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,403 It's always very clear who was talking to each other. 123 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,369 Dude, what about the story, dude? Did it connect for you? 124 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,363 Kenny, it's all voiceover. 125 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,363 Show, don't tell. That's the golden rule. 126 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,205 Jesus Christ. Dude, I think that gunshot wound gave you Down syndrome. 127 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,681 You need to work on your communication skills with auteurs, okay? 128 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,565 The ending, it could have been so much stronger. 129 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,524 God damn. You injure your fucking jaw and suddenly you're Roger Ebert. 130 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,291 I'm more Gene Siskel. Ra-ra-ra. 131 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,126 I'll let this pass, brother, because you are a little loopy from the pain medicine. 132 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,929 Hey, you want some Vicodin? 133 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,650 Yeah, sure. I'll take one. 134 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,200 Kenny Jr., bring Daddy them pills. 135 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,920 Guy? 136 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,563 Thank you so much. 137 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,688 - Guy? - I love you. 138 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,411 - Guy Young loves you. - Guy? 139 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,766 Thank you. 140 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,411 Thank you. 141 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,767 Welcome back to another session of the Sesh. 142 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,411 I'm Guy Young, and man, we got a great show. 143 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,086 Thank you. 144 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,844 Geyser. 145 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,086 What's up, Old Faithful? 146 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,686 - What's going on here? - Well... 147 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,445 If it isn't the great TV star, Kenny Powers. 148 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,602 I come in peace, Guy. I bring good news. 149 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,681 Oh, yeah? 150 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,607 Well, unless that good news is you have testicular cancer, I don't give a rat's ass. 151 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,331 I don't have cancer in my balls, Guy. 152 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,880 But I do have a brand new television show. 153 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,126 Oh, God damn it. 154 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,804 What are you trying to do to me, Kenny, huh? 155 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,445 You just trying to twist the knife in my back? 156 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,524 I never wanted you to end up this way, Guy. 157 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,331 This competition got the best of both of us. 158 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,721 And I want to take responsibility for my actions. 159 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,404 No. 160 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,289 It's not that easy. 161 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,169 I've lost everything. I lost my show. 162 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,006 I lost my food chains. I lost my AIDS charity. 163 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,129 Nobody wants me anymore. 164 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,567 I don't think I can help you get AIDS back, Guy. 165 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,282 But I can offer you a chance at redemption. 166 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,442 I'd like to grant to you an interview 167 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,844 as the very first guest on the first episode of my brand new show. 168 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,207 You can apologize to the masses. 169 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,729 You can begin the difficult task of rebuilding your brand. 170 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,290 No. 171 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,203 I shit on your kind gesture. 172 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,164 Guy, you can't quit. 173 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,766 You don't belong in here, man. You belong out there. 174 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,081 You're a natural born celebrity. 175 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,325 Why are you doing this, Kenny? 176 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:26,327 Because once upon a time, a dear friend did the same exact thing for me. 177 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,364 Gave me a shot when the rest of the world had counted me out. 178 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,683 Seems only fair to return the favor. 179 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,762 Okay, that was very cool, what you just said. 180 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,322 I mean, I wasn't as down as you are now when you found me. 181 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,210 You were pretty fucking down. 182 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:45,251 I wasn't bleeding from my shins nor did I have my own urine in Gatorade bottles. 183 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,765 So I think you're doing worse than I was doing. 184 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,361 Oh, no. Johnny Appleseed is dying. 185 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,886 He was loved by all, even the animals. 186 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,204 Johnny Appleseed's dream was to plant enough seeds 187 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,204 so no one would ever have to be hungry again. 188 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,248 Kids got chops. It's not too bad. 189 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,608 He'll always be remembered for what great things he did. 190 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,329 Yeah. Yeah, boy. 191 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,482 My son is the main star of the play. 192 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,131 His part is more important than all the other children. 193 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,646 Good work! 194 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,767 - Look at our little guy there, huh? - I know. 195 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,127 The tiniest pothead. 196 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,123 I gotta say, this feels pretty goddamn good, huh? 197 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,089 - Mmm-hmm. - What do you say? 198 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,004 Should we take the kids out for a little celebratory pizza party? 199 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,242 Our family finally reunited again. 200 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,291 It sounds so nice, but, um, I can't. 201 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,330 Are you on a diet or something? We can go get milkshakes if you want to. 202 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,890 No, I can't. 203 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,447 Thinking about this a lot. 204 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,807 And, um, I gotta be honest with you. 205 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,769 I'm scared you're gonna break my heart again. 206 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,011 I love you so much, 207 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,205 but we can't be together. 208 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,489 I'm moving to Santa Fe. 209 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,609 Santa Fe? What the fuck? I mean, that's pretty far away. 210 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,843 I know, but I got a new job. 211 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,606 I'm gonna be the new branch manager. 212 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,326 Are you okay? 213 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,811 - You're breathing really heavy... - Yeah, no. I know. 214 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,486 I'm just practicing relaxation exercises. 215 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,050 You know you can come visit anytime. 216 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,969 You are so welcome to. 217 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,971 In the end, Kenny Powers didn't get what he wanted, but he got what he needed. 218 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,206 Here we are. 219 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,328 The pinnacle of success. 220 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,970 Our journey ends here, Stevie. 221 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,690 At the top. 222 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,330 I couldn't have done it without you. 223 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,886 I'm feeling good as hell about this, dog. 224 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,645 I feel like Lil Wayne with this sizzurp. 225 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,006 It's crazy. 226 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,923 I always thought this moment would be joyous. 227 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,731 But instead of wonder, I only feel isolation. 228 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,202 That's the pre-show jitters, dog. Them the butterflies. 229 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,930 You got this, Kenny. 230 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,041 That's the sickest bastard in television. 231 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,485 What's up with this kung fu? 232 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,925 Just preparation, dog. 233 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,367 Listen, I wanna go over what you're gonna say today, all right? 234 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,283 I thought that I could just say whatever I wanted to. 235 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,691 - Just riff. Speak from the heart. - Yeah. 236 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,886 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm just gonna tell you 237 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,042 - what your heart is telling you to say. - Okay. 238 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,569 When you get out and you see Guy Young, I want you to crush him, right? 239 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,722 I want you to break him like he's a teenage hymen. 240 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,723 That's not what we talked about, I didn't think it was that kind of show. 241 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,643 I thought this was a feel-good thing, like, therapeutic, dude. 242 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,051 - Like Ellen. - No, no, no. It's nothing like Ellen. 243 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,566 Ellen's a lesbian. The idea of the show is humiliation. 244 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,689 This is like reality TV. You wanna be a star, right? 245 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,809 - Sure. - Indulge me, for one moment. Please, Kenny. 246 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,723 - Yeah, sure. - Thank you, Kenny. All right. 247 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,087 Jerome. Jerome, come over here. 248 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,731 Jerome, you see that man in the blue shirt there? 249 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,801 - Yeah. - Yeah? The fat one. 250 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:20,286 I want you to go over there, get your fingers, and I want you to ram 'em up his asshole. 251 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,011 You wanna learn about television, yeah? Go and do that. 252 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,560 Go on. 253 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,170 Look at this, Kenny. 254 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,451 - Hey! - Hey, hey, hey. Don't shove him. 255 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,806 Bully. 256 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,201 This is how you do it. 257 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,567 Well? 258 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,167 You see? They love me because I humiliated the fat man. 259 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,163 It's gonna be the same with the audience today. 260 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,483 That fat man tonight is Guy Young. 261 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,403 I want you to look in that mirror now. 262 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,725 I want you to say, "I'm a bad man." 263 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:02,890 - Just to say it into the mirror? - Yeah. 264 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,042 I'm a bad man. 265 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,282 Say, "I'm a very bad man." 266 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,850 I'm a very bad man. 267 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,809 You're a bad man. 268 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,291 You are, Kenny. 269 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:17,642 You see, once the audience see who you are, they will love you. 270 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,200 You go out there and you kill Guy Young. 271 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,482 You kill him. All right? 272 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,005 Got it. 273 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,890 Let's go. Come on. We had fun. Are you having fun? 274 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,241 Stevie, what do you think about that? 275 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,405 Champion. 276 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,850 Thank you so much for doing this. 277 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,691 You're a good friend and an even better man. 278 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,444 No problem, Guy. 279 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,931 I love you. 280 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,968 I love you, too. 281 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,883 I'll see you out there, buddy. 282 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,328 So, April, Santa Fe, how exciting is that? 283 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,687 Just put your broken marriage behind you. 284 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,843 - You know. Just do one of these. - In time. 285 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,764 You know, you should try online dating. 286 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,410 Dixie, I'm not ready to date. 287 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,289 - Are you sure? - Positive. 288 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,169 Not getting any younger. 289 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,850 You're just getting older. 290 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,605 Gene, please turn off the TV. Okay? 291 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,808 You can go one day without watching television. 292 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,848 No TV, how am I supposed to drown you out? 293 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,968 - I'm sorry. What's that, honey? - Huh? 294 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,122 And now it's time for the Powers Hour. 295 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,569 Hello and how are you, America? 296 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,449 Welcome to Powers Hour. 297 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,451 I'm your host, Kenneth Powers, and I'm here today to give you straight talk. 298 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,366 Oh, oh. It's starting. 299 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,920 Powers Hour will be unlike any other show on daytime talk 300 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,685 because we're gonna give it to you real and we're gonna give it to you hard. 301 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,448 Guys, we have coasters for a reason. 302 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,204 That's right, you'll be getting it real hard. 303 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,327 - Turn it off, Gene. - Charlotte. 304 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,129 Come on, Dixie. We're watching this. 305 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,409 No, we're not watching this 'cause I said to turn it off. 306 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,369 Okay? We wanna socialize. 307 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,569 Gene. One. Two. 308 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,245 - Two and a half. - You know what? You want the remote? 309 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,607 You want it? I'm gonna stick it up my ass, all right? 310 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,166 And then you can come up there and dig it out yourself. 311 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,208 Well, guess what, genius, look. 312 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,044 Now you're not watching Kenny, okay? 313 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,885 Yeah, well, I'll just turn it on by squeezing my fucking ass cheeks. 314 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,883 Now piss off, Dixie! 315 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,042 God damn it! 316 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,249 - We'll talk later. - "We'll talk later." 317 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,523 You will anyway, and I'll just zone out and act like I give a shit. 318 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,921 Now sit down. Idiot. 319 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,165 Now today's show is all about second chances. 320 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:42,290 Later on in the episode, we have the results of some exciting paternity tests 321 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,125 which are gonna give some young men a second chance at responsibility. 322 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,611 This is gonna be a big hit. 323 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,002 Now, folks, I'd like to introduce a very special guest. 324 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,527 Now this man, at one point, was loved and admired by all. 325 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,484 But now he's universally hated. 326 00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,286 Ladies and gentleman, please put your hands together for Guy Young. 327 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:04,927 Eat a dick. 328 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,324 How does it feel to hear people booing you like that? 329 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,811 It's hard. 330 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,929 These people look at you and they think very negative of you. 331 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,087 Yeah. 332 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,650 - They don't like you. - Yeah, I get that. 333 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,087 - Because of the things you said. - Yes. 334 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,845 That's why you're here today, you want to apologize for what you said. 335 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,843 Thank goodness your show exists, because... 336 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,081 Well, Guy, guess what? 337 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,321 That's not gonna happen. 338 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,920 You just walked into an ambush, old friend. 339 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,804 Boom. 340 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,846 Because people here don't give a shit about second chances, no. 341 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,606 What they'd rather see, you humiliated on national television. 342 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,045 But that's not what I want. 343 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,126 - And I say fuck what these people want. - What? 344 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,001 I made a lot of mistakes on my return to superstardom. 345 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,081 Kenny... 346 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,766 I screwed a lot of pooches. I fucked a lot of folks. 347 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,965 I labored for far too long for lesser men. 348 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,080 I used my God-given abilities to destroy men's lives. 349 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,770 I betrayed good people. 350 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,208 I ruthlessly stepped upon the weak and the strong. 351 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,369 I turned them into my slaves. 352 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,441 Come on. 353 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,650 Even the fiercest of warriors is nothing to me. 354 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,404 Powerless. 355 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,801 I was absolutely terrible to everybody in my fucking life. 356 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:49,010 Including everyone I worked with, everyone I lived with, my friends, my family. 357 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,560 I was horrendous. 358 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,041 And why did I do these things, you ask? 359 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,849 Well, it's simple, really. 360 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:01,608 I thought that fame, fortune and success was the only way I would ever be happy. 361 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,160 And I've paid a steep price for this train of thinking. 362 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:10,920 I've lost the only woman I ever loved and the only woman who ever loved me. 363 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,762 So from this moment forward, 364 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:21,244 the vicious dragon that was Kenny Powers will retreat back to his cave. 365 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,926 Back to hibernation. 366 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:28,090 Until the next foolish knight awakens his wrath. 367 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,526 - When do I get to make my apology? - Hmm? 368 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,523 Do... Do I get to make my apology now? 369 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,286 Yep. 370 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,361 It's all yours, buddy. 371 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,809 Fucking duck's clit! 372 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,801 First off, let me say, I love black people. 373 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,042 Grab all the personal effects, Stevie. 374 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:58,929 All the personal accoutrements, please. 375 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,604 Shane, go there. 376 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,082 Kenny Powers, I'm fucking annoyed with you, you pair of hedgehog tits! 377 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,607 You upset a little kid who's very, very sick with herpes. 378 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:12,368 He was expecting to see some American badass, not some nancy boy. 379 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,846 - How's that for a badass? - Oh! 380 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,446 WorldStar! WorldStar! 381 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,126 Fuck you! 382 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,128 - Hey, little dudes. - Hey, Daddy. 383 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,561 - Hey, Daddy. - Look who's mastered the beast, huh? 384 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,962 Looks like you guys are gonna be moving out west. 385 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,368 Those kids from the rez, they're not gonna like you. 386 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,841 Many moons ago, the white man stole their land, 387 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,724 so they're instantly gonna have a hatred for you. 388 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,361 As long as you keep Dakota by your side and never show 'em an ounce of fear, 389 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,329 one day, you can gain their respect. 390 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,084 - Okay, Daddy. - Okay, Daddy. 391 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,687 I hope to get out to see you there sometime, you guys. 392 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,331 You know, Southwest Airlines has a hub in Albuquerque. 393 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,209 There's no first class on that airline, obviously, 394 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,523 but they do have that business select option. 395 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,366 You get the coupons for the premium drinks 396 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,649 and the priority access, be the first on the plane. 397 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,930 Even offer the double rapid reward points for your miles there. 398 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:32,168 Hopefully, I'll stack up a bunch of those from all the times I'll come out there and visit. 399 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,164 I'm gonna miss you guys. 400 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,049 I'm gonna miss you, too. 401 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,043 Bring it in here. 402 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,246 Love you guys. 403 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,526 Love you, too. 404 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,841 Oh. 405 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,931 - Hey. - Hey. 406 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:15,131 Surprised to see you're taking so much of that traditional modern shit we had. 407 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,807 Seems like it might kind of clash with the Spanish style they rock there in Santa Fe. 408 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,121 Mmm. 409 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:24,205 Might wanna think about getting some Navajo rugs or some ristras. 410 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:28,285 Kokopellis, the little skinny dudes with the trumpets. 411 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:31,489 I guess we'll see once we get there. 412 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,125 Yeah. 413 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,329 This is it. The papers are signed. 414 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,967 You and I are officially divorced. 415 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,530 Thank you. 416 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,645 What are you gonna do now? 417 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,324 I don't know. 418 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,846 Stevie and I have been cooking up a few things. 419 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,809 Now that I'm done with the television industry, 420 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,724 it might be high time to finally step into the feature film world. 421 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:55,801 Mmm. 422 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,121 At least with movies, it's not all about the money. 423 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,131 Well, I know you will succeed at anything you try. 424 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,890 Yeah, well... 425 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,564 We'll see. 426 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,360 Goodbye, April. 427 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:13,930 Goodbye, Kenny. 428 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,726 You know, April, 429 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:23,011 when I told you that I was unhappy with you and the kids, 430 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,481 that wasn't true. 431 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,050 I was never unhappy with you guys. 432 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,841 I was unhappy with myself. 433 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,526 I just wanted to be a success. 434 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:37,400 It turns out I was a success the whole entire time. 435 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,768 As a father, a husband. 436 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,728 A pretty goddamn good one at that. 437 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,489 I just thought you should know. 438 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,248 - Kenny, stop. - No, April, it's fine. 439 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,402 Oh, just stop. 440 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,962 If you ask me, the secret to success is to have a diverse portfolio. 441 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,485 Too much of any one thing is fucking no bueno. 442 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,691 Of course, sometimes, balancing can be hard. 443 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,411 But all things worth having are worth fighting for. 444 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,482 Kids, I can throw the ball faster than fuck, 445 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,166 and now I'm the most popular teacher in this school. 446 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,810 Cutler, you're fucking up. 447 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,769 Big cans, bring me them titties. 448 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,763 My life is ruined. 449 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,124 Sometimes hard work pays off. 450 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,804 Yay, Kenny! 451 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:38,927 And cut! 452 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,002 - Pretty powerful. - Perfect. 453 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,208 Check the fucking gate. 454 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,124 - That's you, son. You did it. - That's me, Daddy. 455 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,770 I did it. I love you so much. 456 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,490 You're great, too, yeah. 457 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,801 If a man doesn't have a dream, 458 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:55,648 well, guess what, his soul begins to die. 459 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,882 So after you've accomplished your dreams, 460 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,440 the best thing to do is to come up with new dreams. 461 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,451 That way, as the years roll on, as they will do, 462 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,927 you'll always look to the future with hope. 463 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,929 But of course, the future's sure to hold its fair share of miseries. 464 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,085 No. 465 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,760 All kinds of shitty sorrows. 466 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,925 I find solace in the fact that from each sorrow comes a little bit of knowledge. 467 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,641 And with knowledge comes wisdom. 468 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:16,245 If you're lucky, you get a second act in life. 469 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,162 Come on, Daddy. 470 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,963 But sooner or later, death will come. 471 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:54,204 Unannounced, old man Reaper comes to reclaim your soul. 472 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,886 All you can hope for is that the people you love will cherish the time they spent with you. 473 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:12,762 In the end, you judge a man by how he influenced the world. 474 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,847 You judge him by the seeds he left behind. 475 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,731 And you judge the seeds by the harvest. 476 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,531 But Kenny Powers' harvest remains unknown, but I'm pretty goddamn proud of my seeds. 477 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,962 The end. 478 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,530 Cut to black. 479 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,602 Audience goes fucking ape shit. 480 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,883 It's perfect. 481 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,530 - Are you done yet? - Hmm? 482 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:24,043 You have been in here for hours. 483 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,325 Yep. 484 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,447 I'm finished.