1 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,144 Some people would thank the colleague 2 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,712 that drove them to work. 3 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,582 You were in a confined area with Vic? I'm sorry. 4 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,983 My car's still in the shop, 5 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,052 but he made me ride in the back seat. 6 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,987 Mariah rides shotty 7 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,056 - because she doesn't complain. - Mariah 8 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,624 is a blow-up doll. 9 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,493 HOV companion. 10 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:26,627 Shh. 11 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:27,995 Do you guys hear that? 12 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,897 The distant roar 13 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,567 of a 12-ton 7.6 liter diesel engine? 14 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,004 - I don't hear anything. - Quiet. 15 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:38,272 There it is. That hiss. 16 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,840 Maybe Mariah blew a patch. 17 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,775 - No, she... No. - Compressed air 18 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,511 from a split-panel folding door. 19 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:44,678 Windows that 20 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,914 don't retract fully. 21 00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,417 Paint. Industrial yellow. 22 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,085 You can tell all of that from a sound? 23 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,388 I can tell all of that from a nightmare. 24 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,457 Are we standing? 25 00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,695 Hormones. 26 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,063 Acne medication. 27 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:07,235 Victoria's Secret's "Love Spell." 28 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,470 Happy Teen Outreach Day! 29 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,772 - Oh, my God, slay. - You ate. 30 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,074 I knew it. 31 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,176 High schoolers. 32 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,783 As you all know from my email, 33 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,051 which, by looking at 34 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,086 your faces, you did not read, today is 35 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,656 Teen Outreach Day! 36 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:29,623 Goals: 37 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,091 Get teens driving and drum up 38 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,526 good press for our branch. 39 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,728 This takes me back to my days as a teacher. 40 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,797 - Aw. - No "aw." 41 00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:39,633 I break out into hives whenever I hear a backpack unzip. 42 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:40,868 Do you know how bad 43 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,436 a job it must have been for the DMV 44 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,904 to be an upgrade? 45 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,439 Barb, did you bring this pimple parade in here? 46 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,874 I'm gonna be photoshopping all day. 47 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,776 I turned the parking lot into a driving course. 48 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,277 You guys, I'm so excited. 49 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:51,545 Today's gonna slap. 50 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,780 Hey, what-what are 51 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,683 these cards? "Yeet, bet, no cap?" 52 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,286 Handy teen slang translators. 53 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,355 Gregg, don't be mid. 54 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,823 I don't need those RN. I got, like, a dozen baby cousins 55 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,924 who are constantly texting me. 56 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,959 They're, like, obsessed. 57 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,328 It's low-key sad. 58 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,961 Low-key. "Sort of," "secretly." These are great. 59 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,062 Thanks, Barb. 60 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,332 - So dusty. - "Dusty." 61 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,167 Aw... Oh, no, that's not nice. 62 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,835 I want everybody in slay mode. 63 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,070 W's only today, no crap. Cap! 64 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,240 Well, I'm gonna file a complaint with HR 65 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,974 if anyone calls me "bestie." 66 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,976 What if call you "testy?" 67 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,279 Yeah, that's all right. 68 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,150 What are you doing? 69 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,985 Trying to throw out my back so Barb will send me home. 70 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,987 Gregg, you're being ridic... 71 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,990 Wait... so chopped. Oh, no, that's wrong. 72 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,427 I'm not spending a whole day with a bunch of teenagers. 73 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,328 Come on, 74 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,829 if anyone should be doing 75 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,331 road tests today, it's you. 76 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,334 I bet you were a great teacher. 77 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,668 What did your students used to call you... Mr. Mosley? 78 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,439 Mr. Gregg? Mr. M? 79 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,308 Busted. It's Mr. M. 80 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,277 - And do not call me that. - Why don't you 81 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,347 ever talk about teaching? Did something bad happen? 82 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,781 Did you have an affair with the principal? 83 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,484 Did you go on your Ben Franklin rant? 84 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,018 No, and stop asking. 85 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,687 Only if you agree to take at least 86 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,056 one road test today, Mr. M. 87 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,025 Fine. I'll do one test. 88 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,627 Did you wear the wrong pants to school 89 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,396 and then everyone made a really mean nickname 90 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,198 and then you had to withdrawal from the school altogether? 91 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,336 Dude, I just saw my son. 92 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,804 I'm sorry, what? 93 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,072 My son. 94 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,040 He must go to East Hollywood Magnet. 95 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,942 Mate, you don't have a son. 96 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,379 That's what I thought until now. 97 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,314 See, there's a sperm bank nearby, 98 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,383 and 17 years ago, 99 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,518 I dropped off a little "donaish." 100 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,052 So-so, you, you donated? 101 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,554 - Mm-hmm. - And they accepted it? 102 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,291 Many times. And then, in comes these kids today 103 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:46,560 and there's one that looks exactly like me. 104 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,329 There he is. 105 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,598 Him? 106 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,733 I don't think that's your son. 107 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,236 Whoo! 108 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,405 Huh. 109 00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,741 Is this the "locaish" for the "examinaish?" 110 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,643 Vic, I think you're right. 111 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,346 Someone used your sperm for "inseminaish." 112 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,180 Oh, my God. 113 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,650 - There's two of you. - Yeah. 114 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,389 Excuse me, what are you doing? 115 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:18,526 Uh, I told Sacramento Sally about Teen Outreach Day 116 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,261 and she said if we give her a 20-second clip, 117 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,564 she'll put it on DMV-TV L.A. 118 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,233 DMV-TV is so lame. 119 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,935 Nobody cares about the history of asphalt 120 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,102 or that silly little game show 121 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,504 where you have to name road signs. 122 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,239 Oh, Win, Lose or Yield? 123 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,341 I love that show. 124 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,108 The host is a traffic cone. 125 00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:36,777 Only idiots watch DMV-TV. 126 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,980 I heard that Ray Henderson, director of the California DMV, 127 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,048 watches all the time. 128 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,282 Mm-hmm. 129 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,051 The point is, this is a huge 130 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,419 opportunity for us. I already 131 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,887 shot a bunch of footage. 132 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:51,124 I just need my lead actor. My star. 133 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,593 Star? 134 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,262 Oh, my God. Barb. Hello? 135 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,229 I have 136 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,099 so much on-camera experience. 137 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,902 I was a baby model. 138 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,303 Do you remember that cereal commercial 139 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,506 but the baby was slightly too hot for a baby? 140 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,740 That was me. 141 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,175 Okay, you're hired. 142 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,109 Aah! Really? 143 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,712 But it's only one line. 144 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,614 One line? 145 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:14,982 But tons of action. 146 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,917 How do you feel about doing your own stunts? 147 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,420 Are you comfortable with a small, minor explosion 148 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,721 behind your head? 149 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,190 My whole vibe is small explosions. 150 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,295 Okay, AJ, a few rules before we begin. 151 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,163 No phones, no dabbing, 152 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,600 no live-streaming your "driver era." 153 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,602 "Oh, but my followers need content." 154 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,904 This isn't content. Am I clear? 155 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,806 Whatever. 156 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,341 Great. I love your enthusiasm. 157 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,710 I'm gonna play some driving music. 158 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:43,811 Do you have any preferences? 159 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,746 I don't care what we listen to. 160 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,180 What? 161 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:50,451 A teen without ridiculously strong opinions on music? 162 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,553 Oh, I get it. You just read 163 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,289 Sartre in your English class and now you're trying on apathy. 164 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,258 Bro, I barely read my texts. 165 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,493 Okay. 166 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,562 Well, skip the music 167 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,997 and just start the test whenever you're ready. 168 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,700 Okay, stop right there. 169 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,536 You forgot to do the pre-drive safety check. 170 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,404 That's an automatic fail. 171 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,475 This is where you're supposed to beg me 172 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,009 to give you another chance because you're supposed 173 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,378 to pick up your crew from the Taco Bell. 174 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,048 A-a crew? No thanks. 175 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,383 Ah, yeah. You're a loner. 176 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,852 Zoom school got you scarred 177 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,353 and now you're hiding behind Fortnite. 178 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,589 Not into video games. 179 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,592 Not into video games, not into music. 180 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,260 You don't care if you fail. 181 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,096 Do you care about anything? 182 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:38,666 Nah. 183 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,000 "Nah?" 184 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,203 Nobody "nah's" me. 185 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,305 I invented "nah." 186 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,046 Oh, Greggles, 187 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,247 how was the road test? 188 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,348 Did you get the closure you needed 189 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,750 about your teaching past 190 00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,220 when your most promising student let you down by... 191 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,756 You know what, it's not my place. 192 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,192 Trading his textbooks for the heroin spoon? 193 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,394 Not ready to share. Got it. 194 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:10,397 - That test was bizarre. - Mm? 195 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,432 I've come across all kind of kids. 196 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:15,135 Jerks, slackers, druggies, 197 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,004 class clowns, teacher's pets. 198 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,840 Oh, no, no. We're called "try-hards." 199 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,241 There was something about this kid. 200 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,611 - He didn't care about anything. - Yeah, 201 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,078 but that's every teenager. 202 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,880 No, but this kid is different. 203 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,048 I failed him, 204 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,316 he didn't 205 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,752 flinch. He just stared off into space. 206 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,386 Pure apathy. 207 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,723 I've never met anyone like that before. 208 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,291 Um, have you met you? 209 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,928 I know what this is. I think... 210 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,296 I think you see yourself in him. 211 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,498 Yeah, sure, if AJ was my age, 212 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,899 I would love to grab a beer 213 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,901 and dead-eye a wall until the bar closed. 214 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,803 - That is so sweet. - I didn't stop caring 215 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,672 until I was much older. 216 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,008 Sixteen is way too young to be that disillusioned. 217 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,846 - Caught it. - What? 218 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,014 The sparkle in your eye. 219 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,315 You're just 220 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,784 itching to get back in the game, to shape 221 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,485 and inspire a young mind. 222 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,621 Please. I'm done with that life. 223 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:11,825 And also, I'll never see that kid again. 224 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,293 Totally. 225 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,463 I see those wheels turning. You better park it. 226 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,931 Totally. 227 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,332 D-40 at... 228 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,802 Would you take a look in this? 229 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,103 Look right there. Right in there, I think I s... 230 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,005 Oh! 231 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,274 Splash! Literally. 232 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,709 Kid's a genius. 233 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,177 I'm gonna take him 234 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,345 on a driving test, see if I can find out if he's mine. 235 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,347 Yeah, well, he looks like you, he dresses 236 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,250 like you, and he's a bully who doesn't read the room. 237 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,818 Yeah, but still... 238 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,554 I got a feeling. 239 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,054 Last night, 240 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,157 I binged Scorsese's MasterClass on filmmaking. 241 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,293 - It's all about framing. - Okay, Barb, 242 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,495 come on. Can we just shoot this thing? I think we're good. 243 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:51,565 Let's not let good be the enemy of perfect, okay? 244 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,433 Good is the enemy of perfect. 245 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,068 That's why everyone who's a seven hates me. 246 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,369 All right, kids, once you see 247 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,805 the camera push in, I want you all 248 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,773 to gather behind Ceci. It's gonna be a oner 249 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,975 like the Copacabana entrance in Goodfellas. 250 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,711 Pretties in the front, braces in the back. 251 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:04,645 Let's go. 252 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,213 And no touching the talent. 253 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,115 And action. 254 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,250 Hello. 255 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,385 - Before we start... - Mm-hmm? 256 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,922 Full "disclosh." I got E.D. 257 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:17,858 Energy drink. 258 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,493 Same, dawg. Same. 259 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,429 Love me some E.D. 260 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:25,032 - Whoo! Yeah! - All right. 261 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,333 So, Nictor, uh... 262 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,168 You can just, uh, call me Nic. 263 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,970 Oh, I'm Vic. 264 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,739 Short for Vicolas. 265 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,573 Ah. 266 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,910 So, uh, uh, before we get going, 267 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,912 just a few standard Qs. 268 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,681 What's up with your mom? 269 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,082 My moms? 270 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,085 Did you... did you just say "moms," plural? 271 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,086 Yeah. 272 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,487 I got two of 'em. 273 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,789 And before you ask, 274 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,659 - they're both hot. - Oh... 275 00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,627 Wait, are these questions, like, uh, part of the test? 276 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,462 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Family history 277 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,064 -affects driving, -Right. 278 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,766 And so I'm gonna-I'm gonna get it all down here. 279 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:01,301 Two smokeshow mommies. 280 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,502 Hey, I got a question. 281 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,637 Yeah? 282 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,273 Favorite movie on three. One, two, three. 283 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,909 Trick question, not a movie. Entourage 284 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,610 season three? 285 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,212 Whoa! 286 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:15,048 Dude, you passed. 287 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,449 Flying colors. 288 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,484 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 289 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,886 Yeah, dawg! 290 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,122 I haven't even started driving yet, though. 291 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,458 You passed something far more important, son. 292 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,094 I mean little Vic... 293 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,495 Nic. 294 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,900 Oh, Mr. M, AJ wants to talk to you. 295 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,802 Uh, you pulled me off the bus 296 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,069 and said I forgot to sign something. 297 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,437 Oh, well, doesn't matter how we got here. 298 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,172 The point is you're here now, 299 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,473 and you thought you'd never 300 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,909 see him again, but here he is. 301 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,410 A-a soft mind, 302 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,778 ripe for molding. 303 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,446 - What's happening? - I'm sorry, 304 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,782 my colleague is addicted to helping people, 305 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,184 especially those who don't ask for it. 306 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,553 I think you like helping people, too. 307 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,322 It's just that you need a little nudge. 308 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,524 Oh, welp, 309 00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,192 there goes my bus. 310 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,794 Yeah, look at that, Colette. 311 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,462 AJ missed his ride. 312 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,664 I can take the public bus. 313 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,666 Oh, no. Colette can take you home. 314 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,101 She got you into this mess. 315 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,437 I'd love to, but if you remember, 316 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:11,872 my car's in the shop. 317 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,474 Okay, fine, I'll drive you home. 318 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,310 I'm coming with. I'm not gonna miss Mr. M in action. 319 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,479 Wonderful. There's nothing I love more 320 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:22,382 than having an audience during gridlock. 321 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,188 Two moms, no dad. Enter Papa Vic. 322 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,522 Papa Vic? 323 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,991 - Yeah. - That's quite... 324 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:31,925 Awesome, I know. 325 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,293 So, I just need his phone number 326 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,828 so I can contact his moms. 327 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,663 Can you hack into the database and snag 328 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,031 - that for me? - Dude, I... I don't think 329 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,232 you want to ambush them like that. 330 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,567 They got the product, 331 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,702 why wouldn't they want to meet the factory? 332 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,072 Can-can you just, like, call the sperm bank? 333 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,373 That's a great idea. 334 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,741 Okay. - Gosh, I used to 335 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,076 go there several times a week. 336 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,410 - I don't want to hear any more. - Yeah. 337 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,979 They let me pick out my own magazines. 338 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,646 - Yeah, that's why. Please don't. - I had some faves. 339 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,515 And... action. 340 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,684 East Hollywood DMV held its first ever 341 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,219 Teen Outreach Day, where we supported local teens 342 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:02,289 on their journey to becoming licensed drivers. 343 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,323 Okay, great warmup. 344 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,858 Let's do it again, real deal. 345 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,359 Real deal? Barb, that was the real deal. 346 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,427 You weren't recording? 347 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,595 And action! 348 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,498 East Hollywood DMV held its 349 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,665 - first... - Cut. 350 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,067 I'm not hearing "Hollywood." 351 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,836 Action. 352 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,637 East Hollywood DMV held its first ev... 353 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,839 - Oh, cut. - Mm. 354 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,173 Sorry, that's on me. 355 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,509 Technical problem. Finger in the frame. 356 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,444 Action. 357 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:25,879 East Hollywood DMV 358 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,447 - held its first ever T... - Cut. 359 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,016 - Throw it away more. - What does that even mean, Barb? 360 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,784 What does that even mean, "throw it away more?" 361 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,252 And smash to talent getting difficult. 362 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,921 Difficult? Me? You think I'm being difficult? 363 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,255 Barb, I've been standing here for hours, 364 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,556 waiting to say this dumb little line. 365 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,091 - Are you kidding me? - I have a vision! 366 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:39,426 Oh, well, you know what? Good luck with your vision, 367 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,861 because I quit! 368 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,462 Well, good luck to you! 369 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,397 'Cause you'll never work at the DMV again! 370 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,067 For in-house promotional videos, I mean. 371 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,536 Your regular job is totally safe. 372 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:53,406 So, AJ, are you going to retest? 373 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,540 Nah. 374 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,043 Why not? Relying on others 375 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,345 for rides is very annoying. Just this morning, 376 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,948 my driver tried to fart the National Anthem. 377 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,816 He made it to "rocket's red glare." 378 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,118 M-My parents made me get my permit. 379 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,854 And then school forced me to come 380 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,121 as part of this stupid day. 381 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,656 I never cared about it. 382 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,659 You never cared, huh? Hmm. 383 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,230 Well, if 384 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,631 Mr. M won't step in, 385 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,234 can I ask, is there trouble at home? 386 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,870 Have you been getting enough sleep, AJ? 387 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,039 I-I love that you think some rando driving examiner's 388 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,908 gonna be the one to get through to me. 389 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,077 Actually, Mr. M here used to be a teacher. 390 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,645 Sorry, rando driving examiner 391 00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,282 and a failed teacher. No offense. 392 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,517 Offense taken. 393 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,586 Colette, buckle up. 394 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,591 Gregg, what is happening? 395 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,897 It's time for a lesson. 396 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,240 Since you don't care about music, 397 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,010 I'm gonna play something that I like. 398 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,049 - When I was your age, 399 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,484 driving represented freedom. 400 00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,723 Get in my car, get the wind in my face, 401 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,392 kicking out some kick-ass tunes. 402 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,628 I could go anywhere. 403 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,063 Felt like I was alive. 404 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,632 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. 405 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,501 You are too young to be so jaded. 406 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,138 You got to earn that. You have to care now 407 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,006 so you can really not care later. 408 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:36,243 Not loving this message or the driving. 409 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,978 Trust me, you need 410 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,680 to build a deep, bitter well 411 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,215 of small defeats. 412 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,751 Like walking into the store and seeing someone 413 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,619 grab the last bag of potato chips. 414 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,856 Should not have let AJ sit up front. 415 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:52,825 Or finally finding a pair of sneakers that you really love, 416 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,227 but the 11 is too big 417 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,164 and the ten and a half is too small. 418 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,731 And then there's the big ones. 419 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,934 Taxes, marriage, 420 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,735 realizing that your dream job 421 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,004 is a nightmare, 422 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,106 and that cilantro is in everything. 423 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,407 But you know what, 424 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,475 you can't cheat it, kid. 425 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,110 You got to get your license. 426 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,946 You got to get out there, experience the world so you can 427 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,281 find out firsthand 428 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,050 just how disappointing life can be. 429 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,918 Because the worst thing that you can do 430 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,453 at your age is 431 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,955 sit back 432 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,790 and drift. 433 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,693 So... 434 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,529 can you, like, take me home now? 435 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,165 Sure. 436 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,439 What do you want? 437 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,940 I got you something. 438 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,111 Look, I wanted to apologize for using you as a prop 439 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,146 in my pursuit of DMV glory. 440 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,680 Honestly, it's okay. 441 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,915 I'm too iconic for 442 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,183 closed-circuit television anyway. 443 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,985 I just don't get why you went all crazy 444 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,586 and made everything so complicated. 445 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:57,324 Because I thought if we got a good spot on DMV-TV, 446 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,790 it would give us a leg up and 447 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,294 I could help save us from getting shut down. 448 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,730 Barb, you save us every day 449 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,832 by being such a great manager. I mean, 450 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,168 think about how many teens got their licenses today. 451 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:12,472 Just promise to never yell "action" at me again. 452 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,074 I mean never. 453 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,643 - I will not. - And this is my mug. 454 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,478 You literally took it off my desk. 455 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,247 Where I'm from, we never look a gift horse in the mouth. 456 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315 Yeah, you never look a horse in the mouth. 457 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,385 They bite. That's why my cousin has that weird hand. 458 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,657 Well, Nictor is not my son. 459 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,659 Guess you wanted to be a dad, huh? 460 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,627 I wanted someone to want my sperm. 461 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,695 Hey, I'm sure 462 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,330 - somebody wanted it. - No. 463 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,665 The bank said not a single vial has ever been bought. 464 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,968 How is that even possible? 465 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,036 My donor profile 466 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:46,005 - is so sick. - Mm. 467 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,006 Oh. 468 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,542 Okay. Wow. "Hobbies include 469 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,978 "lifting and feeding my pet snake, 470 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,480 who gets me." 471 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,514 He does. 472 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,349 I'm sorry, man. 473 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,185 It's not my fault people are idiots. 474 00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,952 Yeah. 475 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,355 Hey, you know what? 476 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,756 I-I think I see 477 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,791 what the problem is here. Like, your profile... 478 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,426 it's just a little outdated. 479 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,363 Like, it hasn't changed in years, right? But you have. 480 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,732 Yeah, you're right. I have grown. 481 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:13,733 - Mm. - Mainly in 482 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,203 my trapezius and upper glutes. 483 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,838 Right. So, maybe if we spiff this up, 484 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,208 it could get some more traction, yeah? 485 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,742 Uh, okay. 486 00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,176 Obsessed with me much? 487 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:27,247 Great. Um, where do we start? 488 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,182 Uh, how about physical description? 489 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,584 Where it says eye color, you wrote... 490 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,752 Bronze. 491 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:33,753 But, um, your eyes... 492 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,388 they're-they're brown, mate. 493 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,756 So, why don't we just say brown? 494 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:37,857 Dark gold. 495 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,792 I'm just gonna write "brown." 496 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,001 Whatever it is, just get it out. 497 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,239 I just want to apologize for that whole mess 498 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,941 with AJ, and dragging you into it. 499 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,578 And for throwing up in your car. 500 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,680 You're paying for the detailing. 501 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,014 Absolutely. 502 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,552 I never should have tried to bring back Mr. M. 503 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,521 But you did say it was your dream job. 504 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,923 And you stopped because... 505 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,925 - Oh, I never told you why? - No, you didn't. 506 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,093 And I never will. 507 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,595 That's... mean. 508 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,530 - That is mean. - I will tell you this. 509 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,866 It was really fun to get back into the teaching saddle. 510 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,270 Especially the part where I got to tear up the parking lot. 511 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,172 After the DMV 512 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,906 screwed me over with this chair, 513 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,775 it felt good to get back at them a little. 514 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,710 But you gave such an amazing speech 515 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,579 and AJ just didn't care. 516 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,080 Well, that's teaching. 517 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,648 There are no clear victories. 518 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,116 You never know when or if 519 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,252 Something's gonna get through to 'em. 520 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,487 Such a hard job. 521 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,954 Guess that's what makes teachers heroes. 522 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,256 Heroes? 523 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,358 No, we do it for the long summer breaks. 524 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,060 Hello! You two. 525 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,830 Our DMV-TV spot is about to play right now. Come on. 526 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,232 Oh, great. 527 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:55,134 In a world where teens are forgotten... 528 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,304 - I want freedom! - Get out of my room! 529 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,439 Nobody gets me! 530 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,107 I just want to drive. 531 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,211 There's one place that puts teens first, 532 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,079 and into the driver's seat. 533 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,682 - It's the... - DMV! 534 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:13,420 From the mind of Barbara Jason Berry, 535 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,589 and introducing Cecilia María Lucía Rodríguez 536 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,191 as Ceci. 537 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,993 East Hollywood DMV held its first ever Teen Outreach Day 538 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,629 where we supported local teens 539 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:25,532 on their journey to becoming licensed drivers. 540 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,537 You brought my vision to life. 541 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,772 How on earth did you do that overnight? 542 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,208 Mm. Remember that little man that's obsessed with me? 543 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,277 He, like, owns a studio or something. 544 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,981 Thank you, Ceci. 545 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,182 Okay, Barb. 546 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,051 Excuse me. 547 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,154 Where do I go for a retest? 548 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,328 You did it, Mr. M. 549 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,169 There he is. 550 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,038 Dude, after you redid my profile, 551 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,541 somebody bought a batch of my teeny, tiny tadpoles. 552 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,842 - Really? - Yeah. 553 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,010 - That's great. - Yeah. 554 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,045 The receptionist I was vibing with 555 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,981 called me, all hush-hush. 556 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,216 I think she saw my hot new profile 557 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,419 and wanted an excuse to talk to me. 558 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,920 A little "invitaish." 559 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,089 Oh. Congratulations, man. 560 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,557 Hey, you believed in me, man. 561 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,559 So, um, when that kid is born, 562 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:27,894 I want you to be the godfather. 563 00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,095 I don't think that's how it works, 564 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,430 but thank you, I'm flattered. 565 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,031 You the GF. 566 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,841 Hi. Hello. Um, 567 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,277 I-I recently, uh, purchased a vial of your sper... 568 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,213 Uh, the stuff you sell. 569 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,182 Yes, I-I was just wondering, I don't actually 570 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,118 have to come pick it up, do I? 571 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,355 Okay. 572 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,490 Yeah, I'll-I'll be there by 7:00.