1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,009 [♪ upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,392 -[TV playing] -Hey, kiddo. 3 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:22,231 So, I gotcha a matcha. 4 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,359 -I'm good. -You seem good. 5 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,612 Um, so, the police 6 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,447 would like us to come down to the station soon. 7 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,908 -[groaning] -Maybe you want to throw on some socks and shoes. 8 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,827 Or, not socks. That's fine. 9 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,539 Even if I did burn his house down on purpose, 10 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,123 no jury would convict me. 11 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,834 Uh, not sure we want to say that sort of thing out loud. 12 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,463 Maybe you wanna practice saying how it was an accident? 13 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:49,007 I don't need to practice saying the truth. 14 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,300 I like that. 15 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,136 If you don't slip that in, I am going to. 16 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,222 So, did you brush your hair? 17 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,224 -I did. -The back, too? 18 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,352 You know what? I like it. It's good. 19 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,521 [Katie groaning] Um... 20 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,482 Dad, I lost my slipper under the desk. 21 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,150 -Oh. Here you go, sweetie. -Can you kick it to me? 22 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,235 -There you go. -Thank you. 23 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,820 Let's keep our shoes on in here, folks. 24 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,697 There's some creamers. 25 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,323 -I'm good. -I know how this looks, 26 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,826 especially 'cause Arch and I were in a big fight, 27 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,078 and I was pretty pissed off. 28 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,371 Oh, sorry, hold on. 29 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,206 I'm just listening and I'm not writing. 30 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,834 Just let me catch up here. Motive, check. 31 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,836 Officer, she doesn't have to practice 32 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,504 if she is saying the truth. 33 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,922 Do you want me to write that down? 34 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:31,508 -Mm-hmm. -[Katie] Anyway... 35 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,511 I took his copy of War and Peace and I lit it on fire. 36 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,848 Sorry, you-you-you intentionally burned my first edition Tolstoy? 37 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,891 -I did, yeah. -The Clara Bell translation 38 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,935 is the only one in the English language 39 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,562 that has the second epilogue. 40 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,355 Oh, it burned so good. 41 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,357 So then, you did arson a book. 42 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,568 -Arson isn't a verb. -I'm pretty sure it's a verb. 43 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,111 -No, it's not a verb. -[officer] It's a verb. 44 00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,363 And I am not looking it up, I just have to check-- 45 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,782 -It's not a verb, mate. -Checking something else real quick. 46 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,368 I burned the book, but the house was an accident. 47 00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,870 -I swear. -Oh, exactly. 48 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:03,206 Archie, is there anything that you would like to add 49 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,751 that might be helpful for your wife? 50 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,297 If Katie says that it was an accident, 51 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,674 then it was an accident. 52 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,802 Well, there you go. Case closed. 53 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,222 No, don't do that. Don't tell me how to do my police work. 54 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,725 I don't tell you how to write your Rooster books, do I? 55 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,061 -Okay. -But I'll tell you what, if I did, 56 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,771 I would have the guy do karate. 57 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,105 -Maybe. -Wouldn't that be fun? 58 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,482 -Mm, sure. -You know, just going around, 59 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,941 like fighting stuff, like, "Ah!" 60 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,568 -Whoa! -Ah! My trousers. 61 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,236 Man, these are the only trousers I have 62 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,738 that didn't burn in the fire. 63 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,074 -[snickering] "Trousers." -Get some paper towels? 64 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,409 -Oh, yes. Okay. -Please. Christ alive. 65 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,662 -You can barely see it. -[door closes] 66 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,788 [chuckles softly] 67 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,916 I wasn't sure if-- uh, 68 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,876 if you were gonna have my back, so thanks. 69 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,711 Yeah, of course. 70 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,798 I still love you. 71 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,926 Cool. 72 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,969 So, does your dad know that, um, 73 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,431 that Sunny's, uh, been impregnated? 74 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:05,102 Absolutely insane way to distance yourself from it. 75 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,854 [chuckles] Um, no. 76 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,690 God, no. It's humiliating enough. 77 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,025 Yeah, I'm not even sure if-- if Sunny's gonna keep it. 78 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,778 I mean, she's-- It's always sort of one thing or another with her. 79 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,113 Well, would you keep me posted on that? 80 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,572 'Cause I love a good cliffhanger. 81 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,120 Why did you do this to us? 82 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,622 I don't know, maybe I just wanted to be with someone 83 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,957 who thought I was really great again. 84 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,626 -Ew. -Recently, all of our conversations 85 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,212 have been about how I needed to change. 86 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,674 And I-- Okay, I-- I know that I am flawed, I'll admit that. 87 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,884 Frankly, my self-awareness has made it 88 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,179 a lot easier for me to forgive you. 89 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,639 I already have, you know? 90 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,683 But, I guess the only question is... 91 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,853 will you ever be able to forgive me? 92 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,314 Can we-- I wanna back up. 93 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,441 Did you... 94 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,444 You forgive me? 95 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,238 I do. 96 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,990 I mean, who hasn't gone a little crazy 97 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,575 -after a bad breakup? -Well. 98 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,952 -That's what Katie's going through. -Yeah, that's true. 99 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,496 I had a prom date stand me up, 100 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,415 and, uh, I dropped out of high school. 101 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,708 -Oh. -Yeah, went out on the road 102 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,084 following Limp Bizkit around. 103 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,711 -[chuckles] Really? -Yeah. 104 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,006 Guess how many times they, uh, called me up on stage? 105 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,633 -Seventeen. -Seventeen? 106 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,053 You ever seen anybody get called up on stage 17 times? 107 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,973 That's an outrageously high number. 108 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,101 I was called on stage three times. 109 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,103 -Katie's a really good kid. -Ah! 110 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,897 -Whoa! -You stupid fuck. 111 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,357 You're lucky he didn't leave his gun in here. 112 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,027 Oh, actually, I did. I'm just gonna yoink that-- 113 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,695 -Oh! Heads up! -Jesus Christ! 114 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,197 -Gun on the floor. -[groaning] 115 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,615 You know, I never put it back right. 116 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,533 That's the main-- There we go. 117 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,869 [♪ upbeat music playing] 118 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,913 ♪ Oh, oh, I ♪ 119 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,207 ♪ I played the fool ♪ 120 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:55,170 ♪ I laugh at me, I'm trying, trying ♪ 121 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,757 ♪ Falling sometimes, sometimes flying ♪ 122 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:03,053 ♪ Cry me an ocean of one-liners ♪ 123 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,431 ♪ Cruel, cruel, cruel ♪ 124 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,227 Before we get started, 125 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,354 submissions for The Ludlow Review are open, 126 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,564 so get us your poems and short stories. 127 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,566 I can tell you, nothing feels better 128 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,610 than seeing your work in print. 129 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,111 My first published piece 130 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,447 is still taped on my dad's refrigerator 131 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,741 next to a Georgia Bulldogs magnet 132 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,078 and the number of a plumber who died about six years ago. 133 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,413 My stuff's not going on the fridge. 134 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,415 'Cause I write about real life. 135 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,084 And in real life, I pull. 136 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,378 -Hmm? -I'm talking threesomes. 137 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,839 -Girl-on-girl, milf, dilf, Eli. -[door opens] 138 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,966 -What's that? -You wanna get pegged? 139 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,342 -Okay. -I have asthma. 140 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,844 Okay, well, bring your nebulizer. 141 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,303 Eva. Heel, girl. 142 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,139 Okay, diving back into Emily Dickinson. 143 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,809 Hey, Walt. 144 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,269 Got you a double espresso in a big cup. 145 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,020 [Walt] Ah, thank you. 146 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,023 I think our favorite barista might have cut her own bangs. 147 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,775 Something is deeply off. 148 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,610 I can't worry about Beverly right now. 149 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,613 We just heard about a new Green Initiative, and he's... 150 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,616 The trustees are shoving a very complicated policy down my throat. 151 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,827 Okay, you wanna take one of our coffee walks? You can vent. 152 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,496 [sighs] I don't know. 153 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,998 -Good morning, Dean Riggs. -Hi. 154 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,125 Oh, Professor Shepard. Hi, buddy. 155 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,294 Cristle, can you send me a student file? 156 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,380 Gracie Shaw. She says she has ADHD. 157 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,008 But I think she's just lazy and a little dumb. 158 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,676 Or she's really struggling. 159 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,678 Let's all root for her. 160 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,973 How are you friends with this guy? 161 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,808 We're not close. I keep him at arm's length. 162 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,727 You two are having dinner tonight at 7:30. 163 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,979 Th-- thank you, Cristle. 164 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,355 Oh. My bad. 165 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,982 Hey, Walt? Can we talk for-- 166 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,359 Oh. Oh. Hi. How you doing? 167 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,862 -Great. -Great. 168 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,322 How'd you sleep? 169 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,699 -How did I sleep? -Yeah. Mm. 170 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,993 -I'm gonna go. -Alright. 171 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,245 -May I ask you a question? -Yes, come. What can I do for you, Greg? 172 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,663 Well, this is about Katie. 173 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,332 Fire away. Just don't ask how I slept. 174 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,334 That was bone-chilling. What's the deal there? 175 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,502 -Nothing, there was no deal. -Oh, please. 176 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,005 There was an undeniable sexual energy in that room. 177 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,715 I thought I was in Latin America. 178 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,091 -[scoffs] -But I know, I know. 179 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,676 You're a gentleman, you don't kiss and tell. 180 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,345 We didn't kiss. 181 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,514 So, you wanted to, but she said no? 182 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,849 [scoffs] 183 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,392 [Walt] Oh. 184 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,853 She wanted to, but you said no. 185 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,188 How are you doing this? 186 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,856 It's all in the microexpressions. 187 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,775 -Uh... -Come on now, give me the-- 188 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,693 Give me the goss, and we'll get onto your thing. 189 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,779 No, I'm here because I wanna make sure 190 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,364 that Katie's job is safe. 191 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,865 Well, her job is absolutely not safe. 192 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,951 She burned down a historic faculty house. 193 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,535 That was an accident! 194 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,704 She also assaulted a professor down at the police precinct? 195 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,247 That was on purpose. 196 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,209 To be clear, I like Katie. But I am also tasked... 197 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,378 -[computer chiming] -...with protecting this institution, 198 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,546 and I'm-- I'm struggling with that. 199 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,589 Oh! 200 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,299 Good news. Struggle's over. 201 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,968 Katie resigned. 202 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,761 No, she didn't. 203 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,015 Wow, that is big font. 204 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,103 Let me talk to her before you do anything. 205 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,896 Please. As a friend? 206 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,232 Friends share secrets, Greg. 207 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,316 Really? 208 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,152 [♪ upbeat music playing] 209 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,821 [sighs] Alright. 210 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,116 I think Dylan found me charming. 211 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,158 [slaps desk] 212 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,328 -Now, we're cooking, Greg. -We're so not cooking. 213 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,706 [indistinct chatter] 214 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,083 Ah. 215 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,459 Privet, mamochka. 216 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,753 Uh, what happened to your eye and pants? 217 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,255 Funny story about that. 218 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,591 I was walking down Stone Hill, and I fell. 219 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,801 -Hilarious. -Yeah. 220 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,469 So, I got your text. What's up? You okay? 221 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,139 Yes. Uh, I told you I was pregnant, right? 222 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,432 Mm-hmm. 223 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:36,933 No one gets my jokes. 224 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,852 Listen, I just want you to know, Sunny... 225 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,478 -Mm-hmm. -...that it's such a big decision. 226 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,938 And whatever it is you decide to do-- 227 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,148 I'm keeping it. 228 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,942 Oh. Great. 229 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,444 I know there are a million reasons 230 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,987 I shouldn't have this baby. 231 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,447 I was supposed to go to Burning Man. 232 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,115 I think you'd love Burning Man. 233 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,659 But no matter how hard I try to not want it... 234 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,953 I find that I still do. 235 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,371 Absolutely. 236 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,458 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. 237 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,793 That's-- This is-- It's just-- This is a lot. 238 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,296 I know. It's a lot for me, too. 239 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,798 But I've got an interview 240 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,467 for an internship in, like, an hour. 241 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,969 So, if you could just pretend to be all in... 242 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,637 -Oh. -...I'd really appreciate that. 243 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,057 I am, 100%. 244 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,893 Ah, it feels like 80, but I'll take it. 245 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,061 [blows kiss] 246 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,192 [student] And now, my mom has to go to the hospital again. 247 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,069 So, we have to do all this kind of testing, 248 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,653 and she hates needles. 249 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,489 -It's, like, really stressful-- -That's amazing. BRB. 250 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,532 It-- it just like-- Okay, yeah. 251 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,409 Oh! Hey, Professor Bates. 252 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,161 What is going on with your pants? 253 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,829 -Whatever it is, I love it. -Has it ever felt 254 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,414 like everything you've ever worked for 255 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,708 is just slipping through your fingers? 256 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,086 -Yeah. -You know, I was gonna spend 257 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,672 the next six months working on my book. 258 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,174 I-- I mean, I'm not kidding myself. 259 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,093 I know that-- I know that geopolitical nonfiction 260 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,386 isn't exactly the recipe for a sexy bestseller, 261 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,930 but I just think the people who would love it 262 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,848 -would really love it. -I would love it. 263 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,517 Instead, I'll be making runs to Costco 264 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,853 for... rotisserie chicken in a Toyota Sienna. 265 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,271 Oh, my mom has a Sienna. 266 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,107 You can open the trunk with your foot. 267 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,775 -Ah. -[phone ringing] 268 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,736 Um, I'm sorry to dump all this 269 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,196 on your shoulders, uh... 270 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,115 -Gina. -Gina. Mm. Yeah. 271 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,991 You can dump anything on my shoulders. 272 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,202 Beg your pardon? 273 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,578 Uh, not you, Roland, sorry. 274 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,038 Uh... uh... 275 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,374 Uh, hello. Right. 276 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,251 So, I go down to the front desk 277 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,086 because I locked myself out again. 278 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,548 -Yeah. -And they hand me a ladle 279 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,425 with a key on it that opens all of the doors. 280 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,720 -How cute is this town? -I know what you're doing. 281 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,431 -Don't bother, my mind is made up. -Not doing anything. 282 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,100 New England, believe the hype. 283 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,893 Oh my gosh, what is this? 284 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,478 It's a year-round Christmas store. 285 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,730 It is a year-round Christmas store. 286 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,065 How can it stay in business? 287 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,567 Because it has amazing hot chocolate. 288 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,318 Dad, I need to go somewhere 289 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,070 so I can have a fresh start without all the noise. 290 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,405 [Greg] [scoffs] Are you kidding me? 291 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,782 -Dad. -Oh, my God. 292 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,743 They give you a peppermint stick to stir it with. 293 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,079 Do you think I don't know about the fucking peppermint sticks? 294 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,415 I've lived here for three years. I love those sticks. 295 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,958 Then, don't give up 296 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,835 just because of one tiny little setback. 297 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,838 Okay, several major, terrible setbacks. 298 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,631 Are you kidding? 299 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,009 Mom left you five years ago, and you gave up like that. [snapping] 300 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,261 At least I'm planning on starting over. 301 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,929 I'm not moving to Florida 302 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,806 to hide from life, it's pathetic. 303 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,767 -Mm. -[Katie] Oh, my God. 304 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,269 That was way too mean. I'm sorry. 305 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,521 -It's okay. -I'm sorry, that was so mean. 306 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,943 [Greg sighs] 307 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,486 By the way, I'm not hiding. 308 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:40,116 I am also collecting shells, and I'm thinking 309 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,452 -about joining a cult. -[laughing] 310 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,662 I'm expanding The Ludlow Review. 311 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,623 Instead of one issue, I'm putting together two. 312 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,792 Winter and spring. I need your budgetary approval. 313 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,503 What an unladylike way to ask. 314 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,714 The new student center drained the endowment, 315 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,507 so the purse strings are fairly tight right now. 316 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,635 I'm sure they are, but the Review 317 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,637 is a cornerstone of the arts program. 318 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,513 The poetry department is one of the things 319 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,474 that attracts students to the institution. 320 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,976 Oh, I know, it's huge. All the freshmen show up 321 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,020 wearing the jerseys of their favorite poets. 322 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,980 E.E. Cummings! 323 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,483 -This prehistoric fucker. -[knocking] 324 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,485 Hey, let's go. Cristle said you got 20 minutes 325 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,070 -for a coffee walk. -[Cristle] Fifteen! 326 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,656 -Thank you, Cristle. -I just got into it with Riggs, 327 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,199 and I need to tell you about it, just in case 328 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,076 he tries to undercut me at your little dinner tonight. 329 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,703 Yeah, fine, fine. But, uh, then I wanna hear 330 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,498 every sordid detail about you throwing yourself at Greg. 331 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,166 -Excuse me? -[Walt] I respect it. 332 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,668 Shoot your shot. I would. 333 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,419 The man's a silver fox, for God's sake. 334 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,839 [Greg] I know I've only been here a couple of days, 335 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,841 but I am really gonna miss this place. 336 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,593 I never took the cock. 337 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,013 Well, I'm sure that is a fun topic 338 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,515 for you and your gal pal friends, 339 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,350 -but I don't think I wanna hear about that. -Come on. 340 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,726 It's the weather vane. 341 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,603 -[Greg] Oh! -It's a tradition here. 342 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,188 One of the professors takes that, 343 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,274 hides it on the campus, and then if a student finds it, 344 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,442 everyone gets the day off. 345 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,236 I just wish I'd done it once. 346 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,697 Honey, then just stay and do it. 347 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,907 Yeah? Come on. 348 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,076 Wow. 349 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,288 [gasps] 350 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,290 [Katie] I've never seen her look like that. 351 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,042 -At least now we know what makes her special. -Dude. 352 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,878 -What? -No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 353 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,047 You're the one who said it would make more sense 354 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,967 if you knew how she was special, and now we know. 355 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,428 Don't let that derail you. You are a rock star. 356 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,305 -You keep saying that, Dad, but I'm not. -You are a rock star. 357 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,556 -Yeah, you are. -I'm a loser. 358 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,266 No, honey. Gosh, you're not-- 359 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,560 -Sweetie, you're not a loser. -I am a loser. 360 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,562 And I'm done with this place, okay? Go get your cocoa. 361 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,397 I know that's what you've been thinking about, anyway. 362 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,108 I'm not thinking about a cocoa, honey. 363 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:39,944 [slurping] 364 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,407 Walt. She's in. Katie's not leaving. 365 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,076 -Oh, that's great news, Greg. -[barista] Here you go. 366 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,996 -[Walt] Thank you, Beverly. -Yeah. 367 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,498 Definitely an issue there. 368 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,042 -Happy about Katie. -Ah. 369 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,502 The, uh, local police officer is somewhat overzealous, 370 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,087 but I'll just have him to the hothouse... 371 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,422 -Mm. -...and I will talk to him. 372 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,840 -Okay. -Katie is going to have to write 373 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,759 an apology to the board, but-- 374 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,345 Let's clean up our trash, please, boys and girls. 375 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,930 But she can blame the whole thing on women stuff. 376 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,599 Hormones, wrong meds. 377 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,768 Mm, she will love that. 378 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:15,104 And after a short suspension, she will be good to go. 379 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:18,316 Thank you. Very grateful. Thank you, Walt. 380 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,277 Did you know Teddy Roosevelt saved American football? 381 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,780 -No. -In 1905, 382 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,865 twenty college football players died. 383 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,742 Teddy summoned all of the coaches 384 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,952 down to the White House, where he helped evolve the game, 385 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,621 saving America's pastime. 386 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,164 Do you know why I'm telling you this? 387 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,333 No, but I bet it'll hit me later. 388 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,002 [Walt] Our finest president wasn't being selfless. 389 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,962 He wanted his son to play for Harvard 390 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,714 without getting his skull cracked. 391 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,842 He... got something out of it. 392 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:50,139 Walt, if there is ever anything that I can do for you, 393 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,391 say the word. 394 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,142 Take the writer-in-residence gig. 395 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,186 -Oh... no. -Come on. 396 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,063 It's just till the end of the semester. 397 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,857 It'll be a feather in my cap to have a bestselling author 398 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,651 that the parents have actually heard of. 399 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,653 -Very flattering, but-- -Do me a favor, Greg. 400 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,822 Take a look at that. Your ex-wife's name 401 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,740 is on our brand-new student center. 402 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,867 You are practically family here. 403 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,494 Mm, that's a stretch. 404 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:15,832 Plus, I'm not really offering you a choice. 405 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,875 This is a deal point. 406 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,378 -Really? -Really. 407 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,548 [sighs] 408 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,846 My hand is not usually this warm. 409 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,681 It's because of the hot cocoa. 410 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,850 -[students chattering] -[door opens] 411 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,268 [Archie] Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Alright. 412 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,353 Settle down. [laughing] 413 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,689 Uh, I just had the funniest, crazy thing. 414 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,274 It's... [laughing] 415 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,359 Uh, hello. 416 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,194 So, when we left off, 417 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,865 uh, Lenin was about to overthrow the Romanov dynasty... 418 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,450 [laughing] 419 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,618 -[students chuckling] -[Gina laughing loudly] 420 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,996 So sorry, the maddest thing just happened. 421 00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,372 I have a friend, Roland. 422 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,124 He's actually my-- my old roommate at uni. 423 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,709 Oh, you went to Cambridge, right? 424 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:03,129 [snapping] Yes, I did. Someone's been listening. 425 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,548 He wants me, little old Archie, 426 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,384 to be a talking head on BBC News tomorrow. 427 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,554 -[students murmuring] -A-Apparently, I am a "major voice 428 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,598 in UK-Russian relations." 429 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,433 -Not my words, Your Honor. -[laughter] 430 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,101 Oh, man. I mean, I-- I can't. 431 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,561 We've-- we've got class. I couldn't. 432 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:19,729 -What? -Yeah. Oh, no. 433 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,938 I couldn't-- I couldn't do that to you guys. 434 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,315 -You have to do it. -I shouldn't. 435 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,649 -Come on! Yes. -Should I? 436 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,067 [students] Yes! 437 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,069 -Yeah? What do you think? -Yeah. 438 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,613 -Liv? -Yeah, you're gonna slay. 439 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,281 Absolutely. Benji, what do you reckon? 440 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,825 Shut the fuck up, Benji. Come on, mate. 441 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,160 -[laughter] -So, good. Good, yeah? 442 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,870 -Good? -[cheering and applause] 443 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,581 [snapping and cheering] 444 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,749 Thanks for letting me pretend 445 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,083 that I needed to be convinced, anyway. 446 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,586 Okay, uh, let's get back to Comrade Lenin 447 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,130 and slaughtering those bloody Romanov girls, then, shall we? 448 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,174 [crickets chirping] 449 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,177 [♪ "You Never Knew Me" by Magazine playing] 450 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,137 ♪ I don't want ♪ 451 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,348 -♪ To turn around ♪ -[text whooshing] 452 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,976 ♪ And find I got it wrong ♪ 453 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,604 [people chattering] 454 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,523 -Here you go, guys. -Ooh, bacon! 455 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,857 Enjoy. 456 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,275 [Spooner] Thanks, dude. 457 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,485 [text whooshing] 458 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,030 [sighs] 459 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,034 -You good, man? -Ah, I don't know, Tommy. 460 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,454 My daughter's going through something. 461 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,289 She's not handling it well. 462 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,958 Yeah, I meant, are you done? 463 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,709 Oh, yes. Yeah, you can-- 464 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,504 -You can give it to your animal friends over there. -Sweet. 465 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,131 -Gentlemen. -Mm. 466 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,716 Mm. Ketchup. 467 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,010 Maybe I'm just not the greatest dad. 468 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,555 Oh, we're still going. Okay. 469 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,974 Yeah, uh, what'd you do? 470 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,142 -Like, neglect her? -No. 471 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,228 -Were you an alcoholic? -What? No. 472 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,230 -Did you, like, abuse her? -My God, no! 473 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,148 -Smack her around a little bit? No judgment. -[Greg] No. No. 474 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,984 There should be judgment with that. Thank you, guys. 475 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,735 -I can handle it from here. -Yeah, we're good, we don't-- 476 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,195 We don't need your help, we're good. 477 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,739 -I'm-- You, too. -Uh, yeah. Of course. 478 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,118 -[Dylan] Well, well. -Oh. 479 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,370 Thank goodness. A sane person. 480 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,998 Did you tell Walt I tried to have sex with you? 481 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,792 Mm, no-- Well, hi. 482 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,003 Uh, no. 483 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,588 Not verbally. 484 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,840 Have you ever heard of microexpressions? 485 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,509 So, you didn't say, and I quote, 486 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:17,013 "Dylan found me quite charming"? 487 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,347 What? 488 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,266 Yes, I did, I said that. 489 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,436 I said those exact words, but not in a braggy way. 490 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,062 Say it in a non-braggy way. 491 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,025 [in flat, wheezing voice] Dylan found me quite charming. 492 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,401 No human being talks like that. 493 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,902 [chuckles] I did brag. 494 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,030 I was practically beating my chest. 495 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,948 [laughing] I'm sorry. 496 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,367 -How can I make it up to you? -Buy me breakfast. 497 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,911 Done. Tommy? Tommy, I need you. 498 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,039 [♪ rock music playing] 499 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,081 [grunting] 500 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,627 Oh, bollocks. 501 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,714 Ah, cock in hell. 502 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,591 -[phone chiming] -[professor] But what do we trade it for? 503 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,470 I keep answering for you, and I-- I don't want to keep doing that. 504 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,680 I feel like I'm screaming into a well. 505 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,934 You know, Elizabeth was right. 506 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,564 Anytime Katie had a problem, I would swoop in. 507 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,274 -I am a swooper. -Mm. 508 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,568 So, you were basically always there for her? 509 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,778 -Okay. -Shit. 510 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,571 -Is she okay? -It was too much. 511 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:18,074 Now, she does not have the toolset 512 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,909 to deal with adversity. 513 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,787 She's gonna leave, and there is nothing I can do about it. 514 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,580 Greg, I wanna tell you a story. 515 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,582 It isn't about Teddy Roosevelt, is it? 516 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,584 No. It's about me. 517 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,252 -Oh, good. -When I was a kid, 518 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,296 I got accepted into the University of Georgia. 519 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,964 -Mm, the Bulldogs. -Mm-hmm. 520 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,758 Twenty minutes from my home. No-brainer. 521 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,760 -Mm-hmm. -But then I also got into Brown. 522 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,346 -Mm. -And that's super far away. 523 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,306 And I was scared that all of the other kids 524 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,683 were gonna be smarter than I was. 525 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,143 -Mm-hmm. -So, I chose Georgia. 526 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,479 One morning, my dad plops two tickets into my lap 527 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,648 nonstop to Providence, Rhode Island. 528 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,441 Neither of us had been out of the state, 529 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,611 and I was just super excited to go on a trip, so off we went. 530 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,656 Yeah, we traveled all the time when Katie was a kid. 531 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,325 She's been everywhere. She loved Prague. 532 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,994 She used to call it "Pwag." 533 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,122 -You weren't done, were you? -When we got to Providence... 534 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,375 -Okay. -...instantly, I knew I had to go to Brown. 535 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,127 And so, I did. 536 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,796 -Hmm. -Be like my dad. 537 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,172 Find a way in. 538 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,632 Doesn't matter what it is, 539 00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,676 just something to let her know you give a shit. 540 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,137 [♪ upbeat music playing] 541 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,430 [snickering] 542 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,851 [metal squeaking] 543 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,102 [Greg grunting] 544 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:32,648 Come on. Come on. Come on. 545 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,317 [grunting and sighing] 546 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,362 What am I doing? This is stupid. 547 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,989 Oh. Come on. 548 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,574 -[♪ music stops abruptly] -[grunting, exclaiming] 549 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,700 No, no, no, no, no, no! 550 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,368 -[screaming] -[thud] 551 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,121 I got it! 552 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,331 -Ouch! -Okay, quit squirming. 553 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,584 -I'm almost done. -[scoffs] God. 554 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,920 Katie burned all my clothes, she punched me in the eye, 555 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,505 and I'm the one who's gonna look like an idiot 556 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,799 in front of millions of people. It's just not fair. 557 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,259 So, Katie did that? 558 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,679 You didn't tell me. 559 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,182 Yeah, yeah, yes. Okay, yes, fine. 560 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,558 She did it, yes. 561 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,685 And this whole thing is such a bloody mess. 562 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,729 -Mm. -Do you know, I sneak out of this hotel every morning 563 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,232 to avoid running into her dad, who is, of course, staying here, 564 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,568 eating every single last one of their bar nuts. 565 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,362 God, that man loves nuts. 566 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,906 Lots of people love nuts. I love nuts. 567 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,866 God, why is this happening to me? 568 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,868 Is that rhetorical, or do you want an actual answer? 569 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,411 I can take it. 570 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,789 I think it's because some people see you 571 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,249 as a narcissistic asshole with a punchable face. 572 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,794 -Case in point. -Do people see me that way? 573 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,086 Some people do. 574 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,963 -Do you see me that way? -No. 575 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,841 Not all the time. 576 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,385 I mean, you're choosing to stay at a hotel 577 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,721 instead of my apartment, and some people 578 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,265 might find that perplexing. 579 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,392 You have a roommate, and, you know, 580 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,436 moving in is a-- is a big step. 581 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,563 We're having a child together. 582 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,941 Okay, well... [sighs] if I'm such a total bastard, 583 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,275 why would you even wanna be with me? 584 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,820 Well, at first, mostly your face. 585 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,572 But then, also your mind, and that accent. 586 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,450 Seriously, it's like having sex with Paddington Bear. 587 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,162 -And that does it for me. -Well, a wise bear 588 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,248 always has a marmalade sandwich underneath his hat. 589 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,625 -What are you talking about? -It's just what the bear says. 590 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,126 [Sunny] Look, every human is a mixed bag. 591 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,003 We all have our good qualities and our terrible ones, 592 00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,089 and neuroscience tells us our brains have plasticity. 593 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,757 That means through repetition and intention, 594 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,300 we decide who we're gonna become. 595 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,261 And you? I think you're at a crossroads. 596 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:27,263 But I think you are going to step up 597 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,473 and become the man I know you're capable of being. 598 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,519 -And what if I don't? -Well, then I move on. 599 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,938 There, all done. Anything else? 600 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,023 -A bold lip, perhaps? -I think I'm good. 601 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,860 Coward. [sighs] I'm going back to class. 602 00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:46,031 [Greg crowing] 603 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:47,700 Oh. 604 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:48,909 Huh? 605 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,870 [laughing] 606 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:53,163 -You took it? -Yeah, I did. 607 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,166 [laughing] 608 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,960 You did the one thing I never did 609 00:22:58,002 --> 00:22:59,420 to make me feel worse? 610 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,839 Hmm. Okay. 611 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,885 [sighs] Look, I know you didn't like it 612 00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:08,220 when I called you a rock star, but you are. 613 00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:09,680 -Please don't. -You are. 614 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,307 Get over it. 615 00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:13,142 But recently, you have been doing some stuff 616 00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,352 that's a little loser-ish. 617 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,314 I know, because I have been there. 618 00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:20,149 Lack of game recognizes lack of game. 619 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,400 Ugh. 620 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:23,527 Katie, you were right about me. 621 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:25,446 I didn't bounce back. 622 00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:28,157 And I am not resilient. 623 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,367 And I hope I didn't pass that down to you. 624 00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,370 Come on. You love this place. 625 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,958 The only thing you need to do to stay is to be brave. 626 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,838 And to write a letter that says that you're mentally ill. 627 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,423 -Jesus Christ. -Ack. 628 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,720 Help me write it. 629 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:52,514 The Elizabeth Stoddard Student Center just opened. 630 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:53,849 You'll notice, right behind you, 631 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,519 we kept the original brick facade from 1821. 632 00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,855 -[Dylan] Cristle said you were here. -[Walt] Thank you. 633 00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:01,190 You know, I hate this damn building. 634 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,150 -Ah. -They took a classic example 635 00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:06,403 of Neo-Gothic architecture and slapped a greenhouse on it. 636 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,530 -Well, they also added a smashburger place. -Exactly. 637 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,741 We're sacrificing tradition for what? 638 00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:12,034 More fat kids? 639 00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:13,452 We damn sure got plenty of those. 640 00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,037 No, no. Not out loud. 641 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,872 -Thank you. -Okay. 642 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:18,874 What brought all this on? 643 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,043 -Rough dinner with Dean Riggs. -Mm. 644 00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:22,753 And I had to tell him we were cutting his budget. 645 00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:26,131 It just feels like this is my whole job now. 646 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,758 People come and ask me for things 647 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,885 that they really care about, I have to say no, 648 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,929 and then they hold it against me. 649 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,223 Okay, your real friends know that this comes with the gig. 650 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,475 -We're not gonna hold it against you. -Hope so. 651 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,438 I have to move The Ludlow Review online. 652 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,899 It's part of our Green Initiative. 653 00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:45,651 Every year we print it, it just winds up 654 00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:48,112 littered all over campus like a paper factory exploded. 655 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,238 Walt, you can't do that. 656 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,281 So many people are gonna be upset. 657 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,618 No. The 36 students who get published will be upset. 658 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,954 Some of their 72 parents, and... 659 00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:58,956 and me. 660 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,794 I read it cover to cover every year. 661 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,133 I'm really sorry. 662 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,680 [Greg] "All of that said, I am truly and profoundly sorry. 663 00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,765 My behavior was unhinged, and I--" 664 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,101 -I don't love "unhinged." -Really? 665 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,145 I'm gonna use "overwhelmed." 666 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:22,688 It's your letter. Doesn't have to be great. 667 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,691 But I love it. 668 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,443 [Katie] Okay, done. 669 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:29,653 -Look at this guy. -Mm. 670 00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:31,363 -I get to hide him, right? -All yours. 671 00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:33,949 I'm gonna save it for when I need a pick-me-up. 672 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:35,784 Like, first time I see that fucker 673 00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:37,911 -pushing around a stroller. -Mm. 674 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,582 -Wait, what now? -[sighs] 675 00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:45,586 [♪ intense music playing] 676 00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:51,800 Hi! Hi, I'm so sorry. 677 00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:54,595 -I forgot my key again. -No problem. 678 00:25:54,636 --> 00:25:56,305 -[sighs] -That's happening to you a lot. 679 00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:58,223 I know, I'm so mad at myself! 680 00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:00,893 How do we expect the Russian government 681 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,979 to respond to this bold move from Downing Street? 682 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:05,981 Well, it's certainly not going to go smoothly, 683 00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,649 that's for sure. 684 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,693 -You got her pregnant?! -No, is that a ladle? 685 00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,945 -[grunting] -[ladle thwacking] 686 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,364 [♪ intense music continues] 687 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:15,532 Not now! 688 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,159 -Mr. Bates... -It's a big opportunity, Greg! 689 00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:18,660 ...you're live on the BBC. 690 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,703 -[thwacks] -Ow! 691 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,747 -[both shouting] -[bed crashing] 692 00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:24,083 -Is that Greg? -Yes. 693 00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,209 Fuck him up. 694 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,586 [both grunting] 695 00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,129 -Oh! -Oh, my God. 696 00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:30,255 -Oh! -Oh! 697 00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:31,507 [rapid smacking] 698 00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:34,093 -Eli! Eli! -[Eli coughing] 699 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,303 Eli, you okay? You need your inhaler? 700 00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,890 [gasps] 701 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,391 [exhales sharply] 702 00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:43,936 [sighs] 703 00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,437 [♪ "Beautiful Girl" by INXS playing] 704 00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:47,272 [phone buzzing] 705 00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:50,025 [Walt] Hey there. 706 00:26:50,067 --> 00:26:51,568 You got a coffee walk in you? 707 00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:53,779 Can't. I'm really busy. 708 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,448 [phone beeping] 709 00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:02,412 -[Walt] Hey. -Hey! 710 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:06,041 I appreciate you putting all this unfortunate fire business to rest. 711 00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:09,711 Oh, yeah. No problem at all. 712 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:11,255 Say, when you were in the cold plunge, 713 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,091 you didn't happen to see my gun, did you? 714 00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,467 -I did not. -It's fine. 715 00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:17,344 I probably left it on my dash. [chuckles] 716 00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:20,931 Ah! Oh! No. 717 00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:22,558 [patting] I left it at the gun range. 718 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:24,476 Best place to leave a gun. 719 00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:25,936 They're hard to keep track of. 720 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,312 [knocking] 721 00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:30,274 [sighs] 722 00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,151 I thought I'd try to be less perplexing. 723 00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,612 [door slamming] 724 00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:40,784 I'm funnier than people think. 725 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,787 Thank you. Thank you. 726 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,331 Ugh, this fucking guy. 727 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:48,125 Hello, Mo. How are you? 728 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,835 What, are you moving in? 729 00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:51,461 [Archie sighs] 730 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,840 Well, thanks for coming to see me off. 731 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:55,883 Yeah. 732 00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:59,511 I'm not, like, crushed that you're leaving. 733 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,929 No offense. 734 00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:03,265 -Um, but... -[car starting] 735 00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,892 ...I am really glad that you came. 736 00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,060 Me, too. 737 00:28:08,478 --> 00:28:10,480 -I love you. -I love you back. 738 00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:14,359 Bye, Dad. 739 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,154 Bye, sweetie. 740 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,782 -See you Monday! -Wait, what? 741 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,492 -[Greg] Go, go, go! -[tires screeching] 742 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,036 ♪ Stay with me ♪ 743 00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:28,373 ♪ Stay with me ♪ 744 00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,252 ♪ Stay with me ♪ 745 00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,506 ♪ Stay with me ♪ 746 00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:42,596 ♪ She's so scared ♪ 747 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,725 ♪ So very frightened ♪ 748 00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:50,520 ♪ Anything could happen ♪ 749 00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:54,441 ♪ Right here tonight ♪ 750 00:28:56,443 --> 00:29:00,197 -♪ Beautiful girl ♪ -♪ Stay with me ♪ 751 00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:08,038 -♪ Beautiful girl ♪ -♪ Stay with me ♪ 752 00:29:14,169 --> 00:29:16,880 ♪ She wanna go home ♪ 753 00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:25,347 [laughter] 754 00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:27,307 [child] Bye-bye. [blows raspberries]