1
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:08,299
[♪ "Shakedown Street" playing]
2
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,302
I played this song
in the car this morning.
3
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,345
- [Nikki laughs]
- [Sonya scatting]
4
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,346
[all cheer]
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,680
- Surprise!
- Hi. What...
6
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,849
What is this?
What... What's happening? What--
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,936
My metastatic cancer
is one year old today!
8
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,270
- Oh.
- [Sonya laughs]
9
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,313
[Nikki cheers]
10
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:23,773
Dr. P, do you want some cake?
11
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:26,067
No, thank you. Oh, Funfetti.
12
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,860
- But no. I... You... Actually, I will...
- Hmm?
13
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I will take one of those party hats.
14
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Nothing would make me happier.
15
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Aw. The thing is, I actually...
I actually have a one year old.
16
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You know, she quacks at ducks.
17
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[Molly] Cute.
18
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So, anyway, I wanted to, um...
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I just wanted to check in and, tell you
that the scan showed no new spreads. So...
20
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,050
- [cheering]
- Holding... Holding steady.
21
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No, but I wanna keep an eye on the nausea,
22
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- right?
- Okay.
23
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,514
Cannabis therapy seems to be working.
24
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,265
And Sonya tells me that
25
00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:02,436
you are the most popular member
of the stage four, uh, support group.
26
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,730
- So... Yes, so...
- Stage four. Stage four.
27
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,232
- Yep. Stage four.
- Well, good. No, good. Good.
28
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,110
And so, what's everyone doing
for Thanksgiving?
29
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- My partners are cooking.
- Par...
30
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I didn't know you had a company.
31
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,365
No, no, partners. I'm in a polycule.
32
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,409
I'm in a relationship
with two other people.
33
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Well, that's fantastic. Good.
34
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:23,624
Yeah. More... More hands
to stuff the turkey.
35
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[laughs]
36
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- Or...
- Naughty. That's nasty.
37
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Yeah, okay.
38
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Well, this has been a...
Just the most wonderful party for your--
39
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Love you, Dr. P.
40
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,009
- Thank you.
- Oh, well, that's very sweet.
41
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,760
- Well, here. I'm gonna give you this back.
- No, no.
42
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,012
Keep it. Keep it, please.
43
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,306
Thank you. Thank you.
44
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[Sonya] Right?
45
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[all laughing]
46
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♪ Nothin' shakin' on Shakedown Street ♪
47
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♪ Used to be the heart of town ♪
48
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[song ends]
49
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[soft pop playing]
50
00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,452
Oh, my God.
51
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,746
Is that what I think it...
Is that a butt plug?
52
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,830
[gasps]
53
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,623
And its little friend.
54
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,583
Hold on--
55
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- Ta-da.
- Aw.
56
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It's a whole butt plug family.
57
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,087
- Yeah.
- Baby, mama, papa.
58
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,465
I did not know that you guys
were into butt plug stuff.
59
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,425
Yeah, he said he wanted to give it a try.
60
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Special Thanksgiving treat.
61
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Oh, my gosh.
62
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Before the meal, I hope.
63
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[chuckling] If you know what I mean.
64
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,936
Hey, if you guys are gonna do stuff
with your butts and butt plugs,
65
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,688
can you just not do it on the couch?
66
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,149
Because that's my home now.
67
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I go where his butt leads. So...
68
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[chuckles]
69
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- Hey, man...
- No guarantees.
70
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Happy cancer birthday, baby.
71
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Thanks. You're the greatest woman alive.
72
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I'm sorry I can't eat this beautiful cake.
73
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,787
I can't eat anything good.
74
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:43,788
[knocks on door]
75
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,833
All righty. Okay, I'm outta here.
That's him.
76
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:48,959
Okay. You okay?
77
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,795
[Nikki]
Yeah, I'm good. I love the hallway.
78
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,839
I love the buzz of the fluorescent lights.
It really chills me out. [sighs]
79
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,424
Thank you. You have everything you need?
80
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,052
Oh, yeah.
81
00:02:58,762 --> 00:02:59,762
Hey.
82
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,890
She's... Oh. She's in there.
83
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,519
Okay. Uh, what... what are you up to?
84
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:08,771
What am I up to?
85
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,065
Yeah. I mean, you know,
we never get the chance to talk.
86
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,191
So I just thought maybe...
87
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,567
We could talk about what I'm up to.
88
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[chuckles]
89
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,570
Okay, I'm gonna call hospital billing
90
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,824
and yell at them for sending bills
that are not real bills
91
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,952
when they actually just want
her insurance company to pay.
92
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,496
And then I think that
I will try to look for an apartment.
93
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,999
Um, but one that would let me sign a lease
without income or money.
94
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,168
And then if my system can take it,
95
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:35,548
I will get more stoned
so that I can forget my broken heart.
96
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,467
Oh, so, you got a pretty full night.
97
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,720
[scoffs] Yeah. Totally.
98
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,681
Okay.
99
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,809
- [door opens]
- You make her happy.
100
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:51,231
Okay, ticktock. She's only got energy for,
like, one more hour. So... You go.
101
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,321
[groans]
102
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:04,326
Tell me about this plant you got me
for my cancer birthday, ya piece of shit.
103
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,872
I just panicked and I got you a plant.
104
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,623
Do you like it?
105
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,042
I hate it.
106
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:15,921
I'm gonna put it
in a pot with no drainage.
107
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,300
It's a monstera deliciosa.
108
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,844
Unique foliage, easy to care for.
109
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You know what happens
if you keep talking about the plant?
110
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You're gonna need to let it dry out
a little bit between watering.
111
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[grunts]
112
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[whimpering]
113
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Did that hurt?
114
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[whimpering] Yeah. Yeah.
115
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,443
- Yeah.
- Do you want some cake?
116
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Yes, please.
117
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[panting]
118
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Eat it off my finger.
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[Neighbor Guy moaning]
120
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[sighs]
121
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[moaning continues]
122
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,094
- Is that Funfetti?
- [Molly] Shut the fuck up.
123
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,477
I'm gonna untie you.
124
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,659
Keep licking.
125
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,883
[high pitched sound continues]
126
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,637
[Molly] Oh, of course you're here.
Of course you show up.
127
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,515
No. Not now.
128
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,184
Not now.
129
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,854
Get out.
130
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:55,772
Get out.
131
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,275
Are you okay?
132
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,861
[high pitched sound ends]
133
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:05,782
I'm sorry.
134
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,665
I got messed with when I was a little kid,
135
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,750
and I...
136
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,880
I've never had an orgasm
with another person.
137
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,384
I'd like to try to come with you.
138
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,429
I'd really like to try that,
139
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if that's something
that you would like to try.
140
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:32,350
Yeah.
141
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,227
Yes.
142
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,981
I'm... I don't know how many times I can
say yes without sounding like a creep.
143
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,194
Now go stand against the wall
and show me that little pink butt.
144
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In the corner!
145
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,909
I have some good news.
146
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,037
[Nikki] Mm-hmm.
147
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,581
I told him I wanna come with him.
148
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,999
[support group cheer]
149
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,126
Thank you, thank you.
So we're gonna try that.
150
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,712
And Sonya's helping me
with deep breathing techniques.
151
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,963
So I'm feeling really good.
152
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,884
And I think I'm gonna try
and come by Christmas.
153
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,509
- [cheers]
- Like a Hallmark movie.
154
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,763
- [Nikki cheers]
- [Molly] Molly Comes for Christmas.
155
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:15,934
♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain
when she comes ♪
156
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,019
Yeehaw!
157
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,687
- She'll be what?
- ♪ ...coming 'round the mountain ♪
158
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,439
- She'll be what? Come on.
- ♪ ...coming 'round the mountain ♪
159
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,442
♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain
when she comes ♪
160
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,526
[moans, chuckles]
161
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,320
Thank you for letting me join this group.
162
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,863
[all chuckle]
163
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,657
[Frenchie]
You know what I want for Christmas?
164
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:34,411
A new fucking wig that doesn't
make me look like Bea Arthur.
165
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:39,708
I know. How about insurance start
covering wigs with Black hair texture?
166
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,210
That would make me come.
167
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,961
- [gasps]
- [support group laughs]
168
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,839
I think we all need a deep breath in
for that one. Come on now.
169
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,883
[all breathe deeply]
170
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,302
- [Sonya] And chill.
- [support group sighs]
171
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,305
Listen, you seem pretty cool,
but what are you doing here?
172
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,517
Don't you have anything better to do than
hang around with a bunch of dying bitches?
173
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,976
- Uh... [chuckles]
- Uh...
174
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,646
- Slight burn, but... No, I don't.
- Yeah.
175
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,231
I actually don't.
176
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:06,402
And I think I'm good for the group
because I'm generally very sad.
177
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,736
Very, very sad.
178
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,572
Um, because my boyfriend and I broke up.
And also--
179
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,740
Fuck him.
180
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,325
Uh, Nikki is an amazing actor.
181
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,245
Not anymore, but... Yeah. I don't know.
182
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,456
At least I don't have cancer,
'cause that seems like it sucks.
183
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,042
[Sonya] All right. We're gonna try
something new today.
184
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,794
I want you to get out your notebooks.
185
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,796
We're gonna write something
that scares us.
186
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,880
- [Nikki] Yes.
- Or draw it.
187
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,176
[Sonya] And I'd like you to keep working
on these at home this week, okay?
188
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:31,928
Let's go.
189
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,683
[♪ somber music playing]
190
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,232
[girl] What are you writing?
191
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,660
[door opens]
192
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,291
What are you doing?
193
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,297
You're being weird. You need me.
194
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:09,882
[sighs]
195
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,967
[music ends]
196
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,811
Steve took us to this therapist
197
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,065
who said that if I told the story
of what happened to me again and again,
198
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,233
then I would get over it.
199
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,906
But I never really wanna
talk about it in front of Steve.
200
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,452
So tell me the story.
201
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,704
But you already know it.
202
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,750
Yeah, but I've never
really heard it all together.
203
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,588
- I wrote it down.
- Mm-hmm.
204
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,673
I can read it to you.
205
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,189
"The summer I turned seven,
206
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,609
I was molested by my mom's new boyfriend.
207
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,154
He was rich.
208
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,366
He had a fancy watch that my mom loved.
209
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,494
He was taking us to Florida.
210
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,831
So the night before the trip,
we stayed at his apartment.
211
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,210
We took our suitcases over in the rain.
212
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,846
My mom asked for orange juice.
213
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,182
I was standing in the doorframe between
the living room where my mom was,
214
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,937
and the bedroom, where he was stirring
powder into her juice with his finger.
215
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,189
I didn't tell her.
216
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,693
A few minutes later, she passed out cold.
217
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:56,656
Then her boyfriend had me play oral sex
games, telling me he loved me. And...
218
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,786
All I wanted to do was leave.
219
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,371
But he'd hid my clothes.
220
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,666
So I threw a brush at him
and stormed out of his bedroom.
221
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,960
I wanted to go home.
222
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,673
I went to find my mom.
I shook her as hard as I could.
223
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,508
"We have to go," I said.
224
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:20,180
She woke up for three seconds
and said, "Go on, I'm sleeping."
225
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,643
Then I went back to the boyfriend and
apologized for hitting him with a brush."
226
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,605
Are you sleeping? Was that so boring?
227
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,191
[sniffling] What? No. I'm crying.
228
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,108
Oh.
229
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,235
Obviously I'm crying.
230
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:37,655
Yeah, that makes more sense.
231
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,575
[whispering] It's okay.
232
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,247
[sniffs]
233
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,458
[chuckles]
234
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,376
- Did you fart?
- Yeah. [laughs]
235
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,630
[Nikki] You farted. [chuckles]
236
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,632
I'm sorry.
237
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,966
It was a stress fart.
238
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,384
[stammers]
239
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,137
I figured you couldn't get mad at me
'cause of what I just told you.
240
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,766
No, obviously I'm just gonna
have to deal with it. Yeah.
241
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,976
It's just... I'm just really right here.
242
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,520
[both chuckle]
243
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:16,778
Do you think I'm cured?
244
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,907
Do you think 'cause
I said it out loud that I'm cured?
245
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,493
[♪ somber music continues]
246
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:34,336
I think that we should call Sonya
247
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,215
and find a therapist.
248
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,842
No, I can do it.
249
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,096
I have you.
250
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,110
[Molly breathes deeply]
251
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:58,903
Tell me where.
252
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,615
On your leg.
253
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,160
Just with one finger.
254
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,998
On the inside of your thigh.
255
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,793
Say please.
256
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,753
[Neighbor Guy] Please.
257
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,214
Yes.
258
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,885
You can touch my thigh with one finger.
259
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,392
[breathing heavily]
260
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,822
Knee.
261
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:46,784
[Molly moans]
262
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,914
My leg.
263
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,421
Foot.
264
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,884
Toes.
265
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,223
Palm.
266
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,813
Fingertips.
267
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,733
Chest.
268
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,160
Scar.
269
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,000
[Molly] "I'm afraid the people I love
want me to die.
270
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,797
Because it's hard for my family to know..."
271
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,133
I feel so stupid.
272
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,720
I mean, she's reading
what I wrote, but I'm dancing?
273
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,013
She's gonna read what you wrote out loud,
274
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,057
and you're just gonna move along with it.
275
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,060
Try to find
where the fear lives in your body.
276
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,187
You got this. Okay.
277
00:14:56,771 --> 00:15:00,148
"It's hard for my family
to know I'm dying,
278
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,234
but not right away.
279
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,612
Sometimes I feel them pulling away.
280
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,532
I don't blame them.
281
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,575
Fine, I blame them.
282
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,536
[Sonya chuckles]
283
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:15,248
[Molly] But my wife isn't pulling away.
284
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,916
And I feel guilty.
285
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,877
Like I should start letting her go.
286
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,549
Speaking of letting go,
287
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,801
I just shit my pants. Bye."
288
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:28,885
[Sonya laughs]
289
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:29,971
[Nikki] Yes.
290
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,974
Okay, who's next?
291
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,395
Are you pregnant again
or is this the same baby?
292
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,313
- Is... No, I know that sounds wrong.
- What?
293
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:43,358
Of course it's not the same baby.
294
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,986
- You've met my daughter. No. This is...
- I... Yeah, I know.
295
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,696
This is... I'm pregnant again.
296
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,948
If you're gonna keep
having so many babies,
297
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,160
I feel like you should at least
change your fuckin' maternity wear,
298
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,786
because it does all look the same.
299
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,704
[laughs]
300
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,913
It seems like a prank.
301
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,375
Okay. You are a mess.
302
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,628
You don't even have a bed.
Look at us, please.
303
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,754
We... Look at us right now.
304
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,842
We're right next to the elevator,
and we're having Hanukkah in a hallway.
305
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,177
All right. Okay. Seriously.
306
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,345
- You need... I have...
- No, get serious.
307
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,973
- Honestly, this is the setting for it.
- I have to get serious with you.
308
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,141
Right? I'm in my business attire.
309
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,478
- Let's fuckin' talk.
- You need boundaries with her.
310
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,730
Okay? You... I'm serious.
311
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,649
Thanks. I will. I will try to do that.
I'll... I'll work in...
312
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,986
I'll work on boundaries with my...
my dying best friend.
313
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,947
- Look, I know you love her. I know that.
- Look, I got it.
314
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,450
But it...
315
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,702
I just thought you were gonna take her
to some doctor's appointments.
316
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,245
- I had no idea you were gonna give up...
- What?
317
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,330
...everything else in your life.
318
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,706
Like, you loved Noah.
319
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:43,293
Yeah, it was never about taking her
to fucking doctor's appointments.
320
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,129
- Well...
- It was... I was always, like...
321
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,048
How do I explain this to you? Like, this.
322
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:51,176
This is some of her blood on my shirt.
I don't even know when it's from.
323
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,762
I have her blood on, like,
half of my shirts at this point.
324
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,848
It's, like, how I look, okay?
325
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,850
And... And when I see this,
326
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:03,563
what I think is,
I'm gonna be happy that it's here.
327
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:07,235
I'm gonna be happy that this stain is here
when I don't have her anymore.
328
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,414
Does she know what you're doing for her?
329
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,508
Hey, you know what?
We forgot the most important part.
330
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,218
[clears throat]
331
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,554
Oh, yeah, we did.
332
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,222
[both chuckle]
333
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,266
- Okay.
- You ready?
334
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:45,772
♪ Oh Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah
Come light the menorah! ♪
335
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,818
♪ Let's have a party
We'll all dance the hora ♪
336
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,611
Can I touch you again?
337
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,700
Here.
338
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:15,886
[moans]
339
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,984
[sighs] Okay.
340
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,238
[Molly moans]
341
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:41,746
I love you.
342
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,875
[high pitched sound continues]
343
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,128
Is... Is that weird timing?
344
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,190
[Molly whispering] No.
345
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,524
[grunts]
346
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,610
[muffled] Molly?
347
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,445
- [molly whimpers]
- [Neighbor guy, muffled] Molly?
348
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,405
[girl] Go. Go.
349
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,617
[Molly breathing shakily]
350
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,247
[girl] Go.
351
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,085
- [door closes]
- [high pitched sound ends]
352
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:34,048
[Molly panting]
353
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:46,143
"The first man who told me
he loved me was my mother's boyfriend.
354
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,817
He made me say it back to him.
355
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,111
He wanted me to say the words.
356
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:59,740
I think he knew
he was taking away love for me.
357
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,702
He is there every time love is there."
358
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,167
I'm sorry. This isn't gonna work for me.
359
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,419
- I...
- It's okay. It's okay.
360
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,254
Just return to the breath.
361
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,589
No. No, I-I don't need to dance
about something
362
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,092
that happened 30 years ago.
It's not gonna change anything.
363
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,677
Molly. Uh, your leg.
364
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,221
No. I'm not gonna breathe into my leg
and send it kind energy.
365
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,224
No. Your leg is... Your...
Your leg's all puffed up.
366
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,813
Oh, great. Fucking great.
367
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:37,026
[Dr. Pankowitz]
You have deep vein thrombosis in your leg,
368
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:41,781
and we don't want those blood clots
to move to your lungs, huh?
369
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:46,370
So you're gonna have to go on
some pretty heavy-duty blood thinners
370
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:50,916
and, um,
I'm afraid you're gonna have to spend
371
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:56,839
at least a few weeks here
so we can, uh, monitor you.
372
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,385
Um...
373
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,388
Do you...
374
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,683
Do you want me to breathe with you?
375
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,187
She hasn't spoken in a couple hours.
376
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,731
- [Dr. Pankowitz] Right.
- I think she just needs some time.
377
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,274
Of course, of course.
378
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:21,322
No, nobody wants to spend
Christmas in the hospital, right?
379
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:25,493
I'm sorry. So...
380
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,079
[door opens]
381
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,706
Hey. Hey.
382
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,792
[door closes]
383
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,420
You'll come by Martin Luther King Day.
384
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,255
Presidents' Day.
385
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,800
It's what Lincoln would have wanted.
386
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,093
Definitely JFK.
387
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,555
[phone buzzing]
388
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,807
It's him.
389
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,060
Are you sure that
you don't want to take that?
390
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,188
[buzzing fades]
391
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:58,274
[electrical humming]
392
00:21:58,275 --> 00:21:59,860
[♪ festive music fades in]
393
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,034
[♪ festive music playing over radio]
394
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:11,705
[nurse] Here you go.
395
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,961
One for you.
396
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,129
Enjoy.
397
00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:22,925
Merry Christmas.
398
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:31,307
After tonight, you're gonna be like,
399
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:35,103
"Why have I never spent
New Year's Eve at the hospital?
400
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,146
What have I been doing my whole life?"
401
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:38,898
[♪ "My Kink Is Karma" playing]
402
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,149
- We're ready.
- [Molly] Babe? Babe?
403
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,442
Yeah?
404
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:42,361
I'm leaving.
405
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:45,822
What?
406
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,741
I'm checking myself out of the hospital.
I just made a date.
407
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:52,620
You just can't, like... With who?
408
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,664
You remember that guy
I canceled on three times?
409
00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:57,334
Dante. He has the karate dojo in Queens.
410
00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:02,255
Well... uh, are you gonna wear that?
411
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,632
Yeah. Why?
412
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,801
It's kind of a bummer. Like, I just...
413
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:11,514
I got these dresses because they're for us
to wear on New Year's together.
414
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,391
- Okay.
- That's what this is.
415
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,977
How much were they? I'll pay you back.
416
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:17,061
Obviously, it's not about that.
417
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:19,732
They were five dollars at
a thrift store. It's more just, like...
418
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,693
What is this? Like, who is this guy?
419
00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,778
- Is he even kinky? Do you like him?
- I don't know.
420
00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:28,114
- Like...
- I don't know. I don't care.
421
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:31,868
He said he likes hand jobs.
And, lucky for him, so do I.
422
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:33,662
- Cool.
- [Molly] Come here, gorge.
423
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:39,208
Okay. Cool. So you're gonna
check out of this hospital,
424
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:43,339
awesome idea, and leave
to go give a stranger a hand job?
425
00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:45,131
Yeah.
426
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,216
[Nikki scoffs]
427
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:51,387
Rather than, let's say, trying to
be with someone that you're in love with?
428
00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:52,305
Stop it.
429
00:23:52,306 --> 00:23:54,475
I'm sorry, but it's just like,
what are you doing?
430
00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:58,311
You were really, really close.
You were so close.
431
00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,146
I was never close.
It wasn't serious, okay?
432
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:01,941
[Molly] I'm gonna be late. Jesus.
433
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,943
What do you want me to do here?
You just want me to sit here
434
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,986
and watch you try to hurt yourself now?
435
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,071
That... This, right here,
436
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:12,617
this whole fucking move
is why I gave up my whole life? For this?
437
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,369
I told you not to give up your life.
438
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:17,246
- That's what I told you not to do.
- You told me you wanted to die with me.
439
00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:19,082
So I am dying with you.
We're dying here together.
440
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:21,167
- No, it's not happening to you.
- That's what we're doing.
441
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:22,418
You're not dying.
442
00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:23,504
I'm...
443
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,965
♪ It's hot when you have a meltdown ♪
444
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,676
♪ In the front of your house
And you're getting kicked out ♪
445
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,553
I didn't ask for any of this.
446
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:35,348
♪ And you're getting called out
'Cause you're running your mouth ♪
447
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:37,934
♪ Oh god, and it's coming around ♪
448
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,435
I don't want to be happy.
449
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:40,770
♪ It's coming around ♪
450
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:43,815
♪ Oh god, oh god ♪
451
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:46,025
♪ People say I'm jealous,
but my kink is watching ♪
452
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,695
♪You ruin your life ♪
453
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,030
It's just a balloon wall.
454
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:55,159
♪You dyeing your hair ♪
455
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,370
♪People say I'm jealous,
but my kink is watching ♪
456
00:24:57,371 --> 00:25:00,164
♪You crashing your car ♪
457
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,875
♪You breaking your heart ♪
458
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:06,421
♪You thinking I care ♪
459
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:10,050
♪ People say I'm jealous,
But my kink is karma ♪
460
00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,471
[song ends]
461
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:17,933
Hey.
462
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:21,020
Happy new year.
463
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,773
Oh, thanks.
464
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:33,657
Why'd you stop?
465
00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,661
Sorry, I can't feel my hand.
466
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:39,872
Just keep going. Come on.
467
00:25:45,252 --> 00:25:46,085
What are you doing?
468
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,755
Breathing exercises.
469
00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:49,673
I thought we were hooking up.
470
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,593
Did you hear me?
I said I can't feel my hand.
471
00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:56,889
Why would I give you a hand job
if I can't feel my hand?
472
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,940
Like, how much longer
are you gonna breathe for?
473
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,109
I'm still hard.
474
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:11,945
I don't want to do this anymore.
475
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,031
This feels bad.
476
00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:16,033
Are you fucking serious?
477
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,245
Yeah. So fucking serious.
478
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:22,998
Good luck with your dojo.
479
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:29,880
[door opens, closes]
480
00:26:40,974 --> 00:26:43,977
You were right. It sucked.
481
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:47,356
[scoffs]
482
00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:55,530
I'm sorry.
483
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:57,699
No, I am sorry.
484
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:04,789
You do not have to be happy,
485
00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:06,959
and you don't have to be happy for me.
486
00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:11,171
It's just been so hard.
487
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:16,635
I keep thinking about everything.
488
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,847
I can't get any of it out of my head.
489
00:27:23,308 --> 00:27:28,313
Yeah. Then I think
maybe just let it be there.
490
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:35,654
[breathing shakily]
491
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:44,079
I'm so sad.
492
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,251
Yeah, I think you're grieving.
493
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:54,672
I think you're finally...
you're really grieving what he did to you.
494
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:55,883
No. I wasn't.
495
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:06,435
[shakily] I tried to hold his hand,
and he told me to stop being a child.
496
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:08,270
[scoffs]
497
00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:13,025
[sniffles] And you did.
498
00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,864
- You did. You did stop being a child.
- [groans]
499
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,877
[♪ somber music fades in]
500
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:52,606
Oh, yes.
501
00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:54,274
Yes.
502
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:08,621
[chuckles] Oh, my God. Why am I laughing?
503
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:10,539
[Nikki]
Sonya said, you know, you just go for it.
504
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:11,916
You can laugh. You can burp.
505
00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:13,417
You can fart. You can yawn.
506
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,921
Whatever you need to feel,
you just do that.
507
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:25,407
[sighs]
508
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:31,496
[laughs]
509
00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:38,753
[footsteps approaching]
510
00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:40,547
[birds chirping]
511
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:50,932
Hey.
512
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,770
- Hi. Just wanna say hi.
- Hi.
513
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:57,522
Didn't wanna interrupt your walk.
514
00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:00,066
It's a beautiful day.
515
00:31:00,067 --> 00:31:02,068
[Neighbor Guy] Yeah. Yeah.
516
00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,444
- Um...
- [Neighbor Guy] Where's Nikki?
517
00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:04,529
Oh, she's with her sister.
518
00:31:07,407 --> 00:31:09,325
All right. Well, I'll-I'll see you.
519
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,620
I've never seen you
outside in the day before.
520
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:14,581
Is it disappointing?
521
00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:20,587
[sighs]
522
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:24,299
Well, I'll see you.
523
00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:34,350
[sighs]
524
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,268
[gasps]
525
00:31:35,936 --> 00:31:36,978
Molly?
526
00:31:37,646 --> 00:31:38,854
Hey, Molly.
527
00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:39,772
I think I fell.
528
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:41,316
Yeah, I'm gonna call an ambulance.
529
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:43,025
[breathlessly] Wait.
530
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,362
- No, I don't think I should wait.
- Shut up for a second.
531
00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:49,157
I want you to know I love you.
532
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:53,245
And I think we should
just love each other.
533
00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:56,706
I love you. Of course I love you.
534
00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:59,583
I think we have a real future together.
535
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:00,668
[laughs]
536
00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:02,254
[♪ "Tears Stupid Tears" fades in]
537
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,965
I love you.
538
00:32:05,966 --> 00:32:08,134
- I love you. I love you.
- [Neighbor Guy] Hello? Hi. Hello.
539
00:32:08,135 --> 00:32:11,637
Hello. I've got an emergency
and need an ambulance.
540
00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:12,972
[Molly] I love you.
541
00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:15,182
[Neighbor Guy, fading]
She's struggling to breathe.
542
00:32:15,183 --> 00:32:18,562
We are at the corner of St. James and...