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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you. Thank you.

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Hello and welcome to what is
tonight, a Top Gear special.

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It's special
because it is just one big film.

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Yep, and to make it,
we had to go on holiday.

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You say it was a holiday,
<font color="

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so it wasn't a holiday at all,
because you get to the car hire desk

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and there's the gormless man with
the spiky hair.

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He types War And Peace into his
computer for 16 hours

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and then he doesn't know
<font color="

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and he steals your driving licence

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and then he directs you to
a car park where your car isn't.

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So we were going to try and see
if we could make it any better.

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Rather than suffer
the misery of hiring a car,

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<font color="

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We were each given
a budget of $1,000.

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Now here is the really clever bit.

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At the end of our holiday,
which is essentially a road trip

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across four states, we would see if,
instead of simply having to
<font color="

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we could sell our cars and get most
of the $1,000 back.

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It was brilliant.

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Now, in the holiday, we had stones
thrown at us by rednecks,

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we crashed into a river
full of alligators,

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we - what else happened?

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<font color="

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Anyway, the big challenge was

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could we buy a car for less than it
cost to rent one for a fortnight?

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Let's find out.

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RADIO: Miami, hot and sunny.

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34 degrees.

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Yes, Miami, home to all
<font color="

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this year's Mr Big Mac,

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and Silicon Valley.

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All very glamorous,
but our journey began here,

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in the city's used car lots.

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This is where we had a morning
to find a set of wheels

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<font color="

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I think I'd quite like to take
this one for a test drive.

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What's under the bonnet of that?
It's a V6. V6? Yeah.

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Got anything with a V8?

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'I wanted a muscle car,

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<font color="
that sells Corvettes.'

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Have you got the keys?

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Thank you.

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Oh!

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400... 400 horsepower.
For a 5.7L V8.

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Ah!

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HE LAUGHS

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OK, how much is it?

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<font color="

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So...

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$64...?

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..815.

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..thousand dollars.

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Yeah.

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What if I gave you $1,000 for it?

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$1,000? Mm.

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Richard, it seems,
was being similarly ambitious.

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<font color="

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$89,900.

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I need something a bit less than
that. A little bit less?
Less than that.

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So how much for a Cougar?

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Cougars are anywhere
from $35-200,000,

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depending on the condition
<font color="

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I need something that's a bit...
less than that.

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Less than that?
How much for a Challenger?

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Challengers start at 20,000.
19,900. Less than that.
Less than that? Less than that.

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<font color="

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He's turning right on a red light.
That is America's only contribution
to Western civilisation.

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RADIO: There's never been
a better time to buy...

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I was the only one using
even a modicum of common sense.

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<font color="

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OK, er, that's gonna be
a little bit difficult.

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Soon, I took a leaf out of James's
book, lowered my sights

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and quickly found a tidy Camaro
at a place called Adolf's.

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$2,900 this.

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It's a big ask,
<font color="

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I might offer him a burger.

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Very popular with murderers,
these cars. Yeah.

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Meanwhile, I'd found something
we don't have in Britain -
a dealership

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specialising in ex-Government cars.

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<font color="

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you can tell by the colour,
the hole for the aerial,

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it says Police Interceptor on it.

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This one was probably,
I dunno, maybe a spy,
cos there's no badging on that.

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That could've been a Men In Black
<font color="

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The important thing is,
they've all been properly maintained,

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and I'm told they're dirt cheap.

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And indeed they were.

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But even these were beyond my budget.

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I don't have anything right now
for $1,000.

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<font color="

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I want a real Kojack, smokin'...

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Ah, a real cool car, huh? Yeah.

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How about a '99 Honda Civic?

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Meanwhile,

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back at Adolf's, negotiations on
the Camaro had broken down.

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<font color="

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'I thought that we'd get here
and we'd find'

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fantastic old, American '80s cars
for $300.

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I know, I did. I thought
we'd just be tripping over
Oldsmobile Cutlasses

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<font color="

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'It's cos we're buying in that '90s
period when they made rubbish.
I'm looking at a Buick Le Sabre...

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'God, don't!'

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It was rubbish when it was new,

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it was built by idiots
and it's rubbish now.

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<font color="

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BLEEP, have we?

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And I've reached the bottom end
of the town.

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I wouldn't have the Chinese food
round here, let's put it that way.

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The fact was, though, if we were
going to find cars for $1,000,

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<font color="
bottom end of the town.

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How much murdering happens here?
A lot.

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If you go one mile away here,
you go to any street...

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I'll be murdered?

116
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Yeah. Everybody here,
they have guns.

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<font color="

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Wanna see?

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He's not joking!

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It's real. Here.

121
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25.

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Now, you see,
I wasn't ready for that.

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Welcome to the United States.

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This is his other gun.

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That's not a shotgun, Robert,
<font color="

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Right, it's a rifle. The shotgun is
somewhere else. I don't know where.

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And you need this
if you're gonna be a car salesman?

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The guy here, if you go two blocks
down here, he got shot five times.

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Why? By someone buying a car?
<font color="

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He killed the guy?
He killed the guy, finally.

131
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So why've you got telescopic sights
on it?

132
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Because if they go far away,
you just shoot them.

133
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You saw the movie - John Wayne -
the guy is running all the way,

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<font color="

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And pshh, he shoot it right there.

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'Hammond!'

137
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Yes, Jeremy. How are you doing? Just
been told by my new best friend,
Robert the Persian,

138
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if you go beyond 79th Street,

139
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'you will definitely be murdered,
<font color="

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Good bye.

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Hammond is wearing cowboy boots.

142
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They're gonna shoot him,
aren't they?

143
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Is it south or north of 79th Street
I can't go?

144
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I decided the best plan
was to stay ON 79th Street itself

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<font color="
the most optimistic dealer in town.

146
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Ah, well. Needs must.

147
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The lesson we've learned already
was that it was easier
to rent a car than buy one,

148
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,800
but we weren't giving up.

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Believe me, I'm desperate now.
<font color="

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Distressed look on the roof.
Gunshot holes!

151
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The car's got a history!

152
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Oh, no...

153
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,840
It's got a tree growing out of it!

154
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There's been an accident, but the
car's running and I was wondering if
<font color="

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We've been ambitious here, I think.

156
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This $1,000
is a low amount of money.

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I then decided to go beyond
the lower back end of town.

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Have you guys got any idea where
I can find a car for $1,000?

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<font color="

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You've got some great teeth!
Have you seen these teeth?!

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HE LAUGHS

162
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You want it today?
It's gotta be today. OK.

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All right. Let me get back to you.

164
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Go right ahead to the stop sign,
<font color="

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go up exactly two blocks...

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What, this way? Yeah.

167
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Amazingly, the tip paid off
and I was the first to arrive

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at our pre-arranged meeting point -

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the Miami Jai-alai stadium.

170
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,480
This...

171
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,080
<font color="

172
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5L V8 engine,

173
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5-speed gearbox, rear-wheel drive -
a full-on American muscle car.

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Only three previous murderers,

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and I only paid £800 for it.

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I am...it's a brilliant, brilliant,
brilliant find.

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<font color="

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Oh, dear.

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He's never been to America before
and now he's bought himself

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what he thinks all Americans have.
That is bluff.

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Whaddya think?

182
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I, well...

183
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<font color="

184
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A dent. There's a few dents
and bits missing. It's basic.
It's basic motoring at its very best.

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00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,440
You know how a Mercedes goes?

186
00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,920
Yeah.

187
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SCREECHING CLUNK

188
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<font color="

189
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How much?

190
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,280
$1,000.

191
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,960
That shuts. $1,000? Yes.

192
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$800. I'm already $200 ahead of you.

193
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$800?!

194
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The RS model!

195
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,760
Was that the basic one?

196
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,440
Course it wasn't the basic one!
<font color="

197
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,320
I'd ask James on that one
when he arrives,
but I'm not entirely sure it was.

198
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,280
There was the RS, the IROC-Z,

199
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,440
the RS was the...yes.

200
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,920
I'll keep quiet about that.

201
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,880
But no, every single thing
on it works.

202
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,040
<font color="

203
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:39,000
Oh, it's a manual! Five on the floor,
rear-wheel drive. I've got a muscle
car. How many horsepower?

204
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,520
Two hundred and... Oh, rubbish!
170.

205
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:45,480
190. How do they get such a small
<font color="

206
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:51,480
The more pressing question, though,
was where was James?

207
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,160
He'll have walked into a dealership
and they'll have shot him.

208
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,160
HE LAUGHS

209
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,680
AS JAMES: "Hello!"

210
00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,920
How can he take so long?

211
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,960
<font color="

212
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,480
I mean, he'll be lost.

213
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,680
CAR HORN BLARES

214
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,000
Good grief! Is that him?!

215
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,560
It's a train!

216
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:14,000
That's.. ...the Titanic! I've changed
my mind - it's an aircraft carrier!

217
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,320
That's really big!

218
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,160
<font color="

219
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,280
That's a 1989
Cadillac Brougham sedan.

220
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,640
What do you think?

221
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,520
Well, it's terrible!

222
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:27,480
It's like a long walk round it!
It's a really long walk!

223
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,640
I like that, though.

224
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,280
It doesn't just move up and down -
<font color="

225
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,880
Have you seen the roads round here?
That is a perfect car for
the environment. $900.

226
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,600
And you can see why.

227
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,600
Well, don't do that, mate! Ohh!

228
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:48,360
<font color="
date it! Find out when it was
repaired. It was a Wednesday.

229
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:52,080
What size engine has this thing got?
5L V8.

230
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,120
It's not fast... You don't say!

231
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:59,720
<font color="
and thought it's like a Lotus Exige!

232
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,880
James then turned on our cars.

233
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,840
The wheels are odd. No,
I've got an alloy. That's my alloy.

234
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,320
Check out my alloy.

235
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,640
This has just been made out of bits.
It hasn't!

236
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,120
<font color="

237
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,840
It smells of bodies.

238
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,760
Ooh, it does smell a bit ripe!
Hold on...

239
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,120
Eurr! It's the clothes of
the last person they killed!

240
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,760
It is!

241
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,240
Oh, my...!

242
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,320
Oh, God, no!

243
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:33,320
That's the last person
<font color="

244
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,440
Don't look.

245
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,480
The poor man was trying to get out...

246
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,560
James and I bought cars. Yes.

247
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,360
You've bought a pick-up truck.

248
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,960
The reason yours
is in better condition is
it's just a pick-up truck.

249
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:53,280
<font color="
I quite like the pick-up truck.
Compared to the Camaro?!

250
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,120
What, you don't like the Camaro?

251
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,720
I'm sorry, I don't. Well, I do -
one of those in good nick, yes.

252
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,120
Yours is a dog.

253
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,480
It isn't! It...Jeremy!

254
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:07,080
<font color="
something better than you get
from a rental desk. Well, yeah.

255
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:16,840
To find out how good our cars were,
we were told to head to a racetrack
90 miles north of Miami.

256
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:21,640
There we'd be given
<font color="

257
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:31,560
I'm in a murderer's muscle car
heading through Miami.

258
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,880
Yes. This is brilliant!

259
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,200
I love pick-up trucks!

260
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,360
It's a Cadillac!

261
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,000
I'm absolutely staggered!

262
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,360
HE LAUGHS

263
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,160
<font color="

264
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:03,000
..although there's only one station
it'll pick up, which is gospel.
Ready?

265
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:08,720
'..the Holy Spirit.
Jesus Christ is my Lord!'

266
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,000
Yes, I agree with you.

267
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,440
'..I am blessed!'

268
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:18,520
<font color="
We're well into the 90s
and even 100s...

269
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,800
The mono radio station, however,
was the tip of an iceberg.

270
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,720
If I'm honest,
there are one or two issues

271
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,200
with my Camaro.

272
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,520
<font color="
Broken.

273
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,000
Then there's an alarming knocking
noise from the front suspension

274
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,280
when you go over a bump,

275
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,960
or when you're on full lock.

276
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,480
The others, too,
were finding problems.

277
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:45,600
<font color="
admit to one or two very small
faults with my Cadillac.

278
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,680
The first is the squeak, a loose
belt or bearing or something.

279
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,440
The other - it is
fantastically slow, this thing.

280
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:58,360
I'm doing 55 and I'm putting my foot
<font color="
to get it up to 60.

281
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,720
If I'm honest,

282
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,600
it does pull a little bit
to the right.

283
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,360
And if I brake, it pulls to the left,
really badly.

284
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:14,920
I'm right behind Richard Hammond's
Dodge Ram and I've just noticed
<font color="

285
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,760
HORN BLARES

286
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,760
Hang on!

287
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,120
..with the wheels quite right.

288
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:26,280
But the worst problem by a mile
is the air conditioning,

289
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,360
which, as you can probably see
from the state of my shirt,

290
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,440
is broken.

291
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,680
<font color="

292
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,280
The only consolation I have is that
Hammond's air conditioning

293
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,640
doesn't work either.

294
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,680
Apart from the air conditioning not
working, it's pretty much perfect!

295
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,520
For the first time I've got a radio
on one of these trips!

296
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,400
<font color="
little foibles.

297
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:04,560
It was time to settle down
and enjoy our journey
across the Sunshine State.

298
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,440
God, Florida's awful!

299
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,960
Nasty insects,

300
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:17,680
old people, fat people, a lot of
people who all offer you cheese.

301
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,840
<font color="

302
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,840
You want cheese with that?
You want cheese with that?

303
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,360
And then shoot you.

304
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:30,600

suits my clothes...

305
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:35,240
While Hammond roasted, James
remained smug and cool.

306
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,120
It's getting a bit parky, actually.

307
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,720
<font color="
very slightly.

308
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,720
FAN WHISTLES

309
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,720
Look! I'm Burt Reynolds!

310
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,640
I'm the bandit!

311
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,880
Argh!

312
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,240
Eventually,
we turned off the highway...

313
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,040
BIRDS SQUAWK

314
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,000
..and arrived at the racetrack.

315
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,080
<font color="
is unusual in America,

316
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:12,200
because it has left-handed turns and
some which go right as well.

317
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:16,960
Perhaps that's why it was deserted -
too complicated for the colonials?

318
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,720
Or maybe everyone had been murdered?

319
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,080
Whatever.
<font color="

320
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:30,040
It says that each of our cars must
complete one lap of the track. The
target is one minute, ten seconds.

321
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:34,200
Get points for every second under
that time, lose points for every
second over it.

322
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,520
<font color="
Yes. That's gonna be tricky.

323
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,600
You're not driving.

324
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:43,480
Who is? Some say that he's
a CIA experiment that went wrong

325
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,640
and that he only eats cheese.

326
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,480
All we know is, he's not The Stig.

327
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,240
<font color="
American cousin!

328
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,680
Ooh!

329
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,560
Big Stig!

330
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,720
THEY LAUGH

331
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:09,040
First, he squeezed himself
into my Camaro.

332
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,280
One, two, three...

333
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,800
go!

334
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,800
RICHARD LAUGHS

335
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:18,800
<font color="

336
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,760
It's 0-60 in 7.9 seconds.
Yeah, once!

337
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,960
It can do 110 and he's
doing that now! And no more.

338
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,320
It's limited.
It's electronically limited.

339
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,240
No, it's just naturally limited
<font color="

340
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,360
Lean that weight in there, Big Stig!

341
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:50,800
There he goes. One minute,
nine seconds on our top stopwatch.

342
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,880
Is that good? We don't know, do we?

343
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,640
'What we did know was that
the pimp-mobile was next.'

344
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,480
<font color="
for this, not a stopwatch.

345
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:00,560
Have you got a diary?

346
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:05,480
I'll hold this stone, and as it's
eroded by the wind, that'll give us
an idea of how long it's been.

347
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,080
air-con max.

348
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,760
BEEPING

349
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,840
ENGINE TURNS OVER, THEN DIES

350
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,880
<font color="

351
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,240
THEY LAUGH

352
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:20,520
It's broken, isn't it, mate?
It's run out of electricity.
'To raise the Titanic,

353
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,240
'we borrowed a battery booster.'

354
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,840
Is that for starting your watch
when it stops?

355
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,840
That's just...

356
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,600
<font color="

357
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,600
Oh, it's begun!

358
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,200
One, two, three...

359
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,240
go!

360
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,200
It's moved off(!)

361
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,080
It's still moving off!

362
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:42,280


363
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,480


364
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,960
24 days.

<font color="

365
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,080
I'm getting older.

366
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:56,320

And I need you more...

367
00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,280
It looks fabulous!
Come on, admit it. We've got plenty
of time to admire it(!)

368
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,640


369
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:07,760
<font color="
certainly seemed to suit Big Stig's
relaxed driving style.

370
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,760


371
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,480
THEY LAUGH

372
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:18,320
On the grass! 'But would the match
made in heaven be able to beat
the Camaro's

373
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,080
<font color="

374
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,200
Yay! Go on?

375
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,720
One minute 14.

376
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,520
So now it was all down to Hammond's
hillbilly-mobile.

377
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,120
Three, two, one, go!

378
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:33,720
Is that a manual?
It sounds very...yeah! Stick shift,
<font color="

379
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,880
Actually,
it all looked pretty promising.

380
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:43,480
If this beats mine, I'll have
to kill you. I am in the Camaro,
so don't think I won't.

381
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,760
Oh, it's a proud and noble thing.

382
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,080
You saw Brokeback Mountain
<font color="
of that life"!

383
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,160
Not that piece, I'll have the truck.

384
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,800
Although the truck had started well,

385
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,080
in the last few tight corners,
it was rubbish.

386
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,680
Have you seen how my alloy
glints in the sun?

387
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,200
<font color="

388
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,680
No, it can't...!

389
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,240
12, 13, 1.14! Noooooo!

390
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,320
How could that happen?!
One-sixteen point nine!

391
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,960
That's more to do with the Stig
being too big...

392
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,120
TYRES SCREECH

393
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,840
<font color="

394
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,840
He didn't make the turn!

395
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,600
Fat Stig's work was done.

396
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:33,800
And so it was time
for the next challenge.

397
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:38,520
You must each accelerate your car
to 50mph. When you reach 50mph,

398
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,440
you must brake as hard as you can.

399
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,040
<font color="
and braking all together? Yes.

400
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,760
You must brake
before the end of the track.

401
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,240
At the end of the track,
there is a river...

402
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,480
That's no big deal.

403
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,080
..full of alligators.

404
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,040
<font color="

405
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,160
I should explain - that is
the track, so if you look up there,
OK, there it is.

406
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,560
OK? And here...
this is alligator-infested.

407
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,760
There's another one.

408
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,320
We drew hotdogs
and mine was the shortest.

409
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,200
<font color="

410
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,000
It's saltwater crocodiles
you need to worry about.

411
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,240
I think.

412
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,280
I hope he doesn't go in the river.
That'd be awful. Here we go.

413
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,280
The hell with the clutch!

414
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,560
Spirited start.

415
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,440
<font color="
eaten by an alligator! 35!

416
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,960
40!

417
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,280
45!

418
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,760
It's 50!

419
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,880
TYRES SCREECH

420
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,280
That's doubly disappointing.

421
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,120
Number one, he's not dead. Yep.
And number two,

422
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:49,560
<font color="
only just stopped before the grass.

423
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,800
Surely though, the Huggy Bear-mobile

424
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:58,200
would struggle to do 0 to 50 to 0
in the distance?

425
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,320
Whoa-hoo!

426
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,360
CAR RUMBLES

427
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,400
That is movement. Come on, car!

428
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,000
<font color="

429
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,440
Nearly there!

430
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,480
Brake!

431
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,480
TYRES SCREECH

432
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,880
Strewth, that had me worried!

433
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,520
I should imagine
he's clenched in there!

434
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,280
Eight tons of Caddy!

435
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,800
I was really nervous.

436
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:28,040
<font color="
my truck and fail completely.

437
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,360
We're away. That's 20.

438
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,600
Here he comes, to a certain death!

439
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,720
40.

440
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,760
45. It takes ages.

441
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,400
Oh, my God! Oh, God!

442
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,440
Oh!

443
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,280
JEREMY AND JAMES LAUGH

444
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,440
<font color="

445
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,960
Hammond?

446
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,640
Are you alive? Alligators, mate!

447
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,560
Yeah....

448
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,240
Can I suggest,
we may have made them angry.

449
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,560
I've just driven
into their living room!

450
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,520
Such an insufferable oaf.

451
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,000
<font color="

452
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,680
The cars had survived
their ordeal by track - just.

453
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:15,000
But the next morning,
the real test began.

454
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:22,440
A sweltering 800-mile road trip
to New Orleans.

455
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:34,480
RADIO: Today, partly cloudy,
highs in the lower 90s.
<font color="

456
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,280
Things started badly.

457
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,680
ENGINE WHIRRS AND DOESN'T START

458
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,520
ENGINE STRAINS AND DOESN'T START

459
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,920
Has it got petrol in it?

460
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,800
Yeah, look, it's full. BLEEP!

461
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,080
Well, yeah, but has it got petrol
<font color="

462
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,400
When did you last put petrol in it?
One...

463
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,280
Miami.

464
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,440
Now you come to mention it...!

465
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,800
You stupid man!

466
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,120
It's a 5L V8!

467
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,640
Ahem. The car is fine.

468
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,440
What's happened is...

469
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,560
<font color="

470
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:12,960
You're joking.

471
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,640
Can I borrow your van
and your jump leads?

472
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,960
See how prepared we are
on this show(!)

473
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,800
You had the, er, leads in your car.

474
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,560
No, no, you had the leads.

475
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,800
I'm not a stupid man.

476
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:32,000
<font color="
and that's it.

477
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,200
What's the matter?

478
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:38,480
He's lost the jump leads. He's lost
the jump leads. He's lost the jump
leads. This isn't going well, is it?

479
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,040
<font color="
to America,

480
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:47,400
this is what it's like. You've got
your Comfort Inn, your Best Western,
your Red Lobster where you eat.

481
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,960
Everybody's very fat,
everybody's very stupid,
and everybody's very rude.

482
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,360
<font color="
it's the truth.

483
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:59,120
Eventually, the leads were found

484
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,920
and Hammond positioned
himself for the jump start.

485
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,000
No, it's not funny!

486
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,760
We're off!

487
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,080
I'm sweating already.

488
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,040
I'm not going to be for much longer.
<font color="

489
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:18,120
it's just a humid day today.
Do you know what this is?

490
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,360
Tropical?

491
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,560
No, that's the approach
of a cold front.

492
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,080
That's tall cumulonimbus
with a high...

493
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,080
CRASH

494
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,840
THEY LAUGH

495
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,320
<font color="

496
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,320
It's bigger than you expect.

497
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,520
You don't realise...

498
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,680
I'd love to know what Hammond thinks
he looks like, chewing gum,

499
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,560
his Aviators, his cowboy hat
and his pick-up truck.

500
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,760
To help relieve the tedium of the
<font color="
had provided us

501
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,800
with CB radios.

502
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,520
And for those,
we needed appropriate call signs.

503
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,880
Brokeback, Brokeback,
this is Murderer.

504
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,720
This is Brokeback to Murderer
and the Captain...

505
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,520
<font color="

506
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,000
I wonder why these CB radios
never caught on(?)

507
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,360
Breaker, breaker one-nine, contact
eyeball ten-ten till we do it again,
Captain Slow.

508
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:24,080
INDISTINCT

509
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,880
He's there! He's there
and I can't understand him!

510
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,600
<font color="
so we changed channels.

511
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,320
Hello, I'm on 22. Are you there?

512
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,840
'Yo, big boy!'

513
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,120
And finally made contact
with a native.

514
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,640
INDISTINCT

515
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,040
That's him in that truck!

516
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,600
He's asking...

517
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:56,120
<font color="
where he might find a lady friend
for the afternoon.

518
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:03,680
All they've got to talk about on that
CB is the weather and prostitutes.

519
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,960
AMERICAN ACCENT: Yeah, it's raining,
I'm going north
and I'm looking for a whore.

520
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:16,600
<font color="
and humidity became unbearable.

521
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,200
You're sitting there in the winter,

522
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:26,400
you can't imagine what it's like to
be in an un-air-conditioned car
in Florida now.

523
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,000
It's so hot.

524
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:35,720
RADIO: Danger persists in the hot
<font color="
of the fire is contained,

525
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,640
much of it is still burning
out of control.

526
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:42,680
Only the insufferable May
wasn't suffering.

527
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,240
'Hey, chaps, it's me here.

528
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:49,280
'Just to let you know that my air
<font color="
It's 65 degrees Fahrenheit.'

529
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,800
Yes, all right!

530
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,720
But then the smile
was wiped from his face...

531
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,800
..again.

532
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,320
Any charge left in it?

533
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,000
I've brought you some presents.

534
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,760
I've got you
<font color="

535
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,040
And I've bought you a fan!

536
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,160
Really?! Yeah. We've got fans.
That's fantastic, mate!

537
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,920
How do you feel now? Yeah,
air-con, there it is!

538
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,960
<font color="

539
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,960
See what I've got? Ham and cheese.

540
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:25,280
Yes. Dundee ham and cheese.
I'll read you the ingredients.
Blah, blah, blah and...

541
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,920
imitation American cheese!
So it's the only thing that hasn't
<font color="

542
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,280
After our imitation American lunch,

543
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,120
it was my turn to help
the stricken Cadillac.

544
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,160
Oh, yes!

545
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,120
Oh, back in the sweat box.

546
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,880
RADIO:

547
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,880
Intensive heat warnings continuing.

548
00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,840
<font color="
it's just turbo-charging warm air
into my face!

549
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,280
That's got...

550
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,720
Nice one!

551
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,360
Jeremy, this is Brokeback.

552
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,240
Did you cut the wire?

553
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,040
RADIO: You want your man
to look good,
<font color="

554
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:40,320
The miles passed, with the Cadillac
endlessly breaking down.

555
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,040
No!

556
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,080
Have you got the leads? No, you have.

557
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:50,640
Still, thanks to
the automatic windscreen washers
at Florida service stations...

558
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,840
<font color="

559
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:58,640
..Hammond and I could at least
enjoy some refreshing showers
while we got it going again.

560
00:30:58,640 --> 00:30:59,960
Oh!

561
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:05,120
The Cadillac, however,
was not the only trouble maker.

562
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,800
After just 200 miles, my Camaro
was hardly tiptop either.

563
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,560
<font color="

564
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,480
Some of the headlights are working,
the dashboard's come off,

565
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,400
all the dials are broken,

566
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,720
one radio speaker remains, however.
And it's good!

567
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:28,160
RADIO: The good news
is that with God's help,
<font color="

568
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:33,480
In a world where tails stop wagging,
sticks don't get fetched

569
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:38,400
and chew toys stay dry, one man
dares to step forward and declare,

570
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,920
"I can get to the root
of your dog's depression."

571
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,600
Eventually, our Top Gear
<font color="

572
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,280
reached the 300-mile mark.

573
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:55,440
As a reward, the production office
gave each of us $100
to buy an accessory

574
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,760
that might in some way make
our journey less arduous.

575
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,960
Hoping and praying that James

576
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,640
<font color="
for his stupid Cadillac,

577
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,920
we all met up
to show off our new toys.

578
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:14,720
A trailer? Nope. The Freedom Grill
500. A grilling system?!
It's a grilling system.

579
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,080
What is it?

580
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,280
<font color="

581
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,080
I have been... No, no way!

582
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,240
Look at that!

583
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,160
Drop tailgate, cooking platform,
whaddya think?

584
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:30,040
Gordon Ramsay hasn't got anything
like that in his kitchen.

585
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,080
Have you got anything that good,
James?

586
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,920
<font color="

587
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,800
I got a clothes rack. What?!

588
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:42,560
Look at my perfectly pressed
linen jacket.
He has a linen jacket...

589
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:47,160
OK, so, you step into your car...
and here, if you look,

590
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,320
is a shower.

591
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,960
<font color="

592
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,040
Where will you get the water from,
then?

593
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,800
It comes from the cool box
in the back, this tube.

594
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,520
Then you just plug this into the
cigarette lighter, hit that button,

595
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,000
refreshing shower.

596
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,400
<font color="

597
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,840
Sadly, though,
our dreams of luxury living

598
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,880
were shattered when
we received the next challenge.

599
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:15,360
Tonight, you will be camping. Oh.
What?! I know.

600
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,800
And you are only allowed to eat

601
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,600
<font color="
at the side of the road.

602
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,240
What, you mean roadkill?

603
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,000
Yeah, you're only...yeah.

604
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:29,200
So that's animals
that we find by the road, dead?
Yeah. That's our supper.

605
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,000
Just think about it!

606
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,680
You can prepare the food, wash it,
<font color="

607
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,040
James can dress for dinner.

608
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:41,480
RADIO: Potatoes, tomatoes,
it's hard to know. I can see that.

609
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:45,920
So, let me ask you. How
high should a pineapple bounce
when it's ripe?

610
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,560
OK, sit-rep.

611
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,080
<font color="
on its last legs.

612
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,720
I've got a terrible wheel wobble,

613
00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:00,720
er...but I'm cool,
for the first time since I set off!

614
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,680
I am cool now!

615
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:08,040
To increase our chances of finding
some roadkill,
<font color="

616
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:09,840
for smaller roads.

617
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,040
And very quickly, we got lucky.

618
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,720
On the right, what's that?

619
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,920
Do you know what? I don't fancy it.

620
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:34,120
No matter though,
because further down the road,
I came across a fresh, tasty possum.

621
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,440
<font color="

622
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,920
James, don't run over it, you...
you blithering idiot!

623
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:40,520
You've just run over it!

624
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,120
That's not edible now, is it?

625
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,080
For flattening our supper,

626
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,800
James was punished.

627
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,440
CRASH

628
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,000
CRASH

629
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,480
HE LAUGHS

630
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,080
<font color="

631
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,920
But it was a bit too fresh.

632
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,400
I thought you were gonna run it
over?! Even I wouldn't do that!

633
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:15,000
What do you reckon...
Eurgh! Don't do that, tortoise!

634
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:19,160
How can you have -
there are no wild tortoises!
<font color="

635
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:24,560
It's escaped from some
eight-year-old girl... How does
a tortoise escape?! Come back!

636
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:29,640
'Finally, though,
ten miles down the road...'
We've got dinner!

637
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,520
<font color="

638
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,320
I think that, with a bit of cheese,
will be delicious.

639
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,120
Right.

640
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,920
Look at May's face!

641
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,880
I never told you about
my vegetarianism, did I?

642
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,840
Soon, we were near the field where
<font color="

643
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,280
Right now, the sun's going down,

644
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,600
I'm with my mates,

645
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:04,320
it's down below 90 degrees,
we're in the Deep South,

646
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,920
it's a pleasant evening.
This is nice.

647
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,600
But we still only had
a squirrel for dinner,

648
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,040
<font color="
while the others went ahead
to set up camp.

649
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:28,960
Sorry!

650
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,440
Right, we've got work to do.

651
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,880
I'm thinking squirrel on the rack,

652
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,280
and then maybe - here's my plan -

653
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,320
with a few herbs, garnished,
<font color="

654
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,960
Um, I'm thinking if I cook it once,

655
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:48,520
and then maybe cook it again,
so it'll go like crispy duck,
only it's a squirrel.

656
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,400
Is he ever coming back?!

657
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,320
We can't just lob it on, can we?

658
00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:00,800
With rabbit, you take the head off,
<font color="
But all we have to do it with

659
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,080
is a tent peg.
Didn't you bring a penknife?

660
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,600
No.

661
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:12,360
Time passed,
and still no sign of Jeremy.

662
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,280
I'm not peeling it, mate.
I don't see why I should do it.

663
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,360
<font color="
a squirrel. I'll bring it over.

664
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,560
HORN BLARES

665
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,560
Is that a car? Is it Jezza?

666
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,040
James?

667
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,640
What's he got? In all seriousness,

668
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,400
that's...

669
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,000
<font color="

670
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:33,400
HE LAUGHS

671
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:33,400
You have got to be...!

672
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,800
It's a flaming cow, mate!

673
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:03,320
Main course. Yeah. I'm thinking
how long I've been in that sun
putting the tent up. Why?

674
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,960
Because what I'm seeing -
<font color="

675
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,920
is a cow on the roof of your Camaro.
It is a cow on there. It is!

676
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,400
I don't want to be pedantic,
but is it roadkill?

677
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,440
What, are you suggesting
I ran it down?

678
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,440
Well...
<font color="

679
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,760
Someone helped me get it on there,
but I didn't run it down.

680
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:24,760
It was at the side of the road,
now it's on the roof
and it's our supper!

681
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,840
Do you know what to do with it?
Well, you've got to... Peel it.

682
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,560
<font color="

683
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,240
First, though,
we had to get it off the roof.

684
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:37,240
What if I go round a corner
quite quickly, backwards?

685
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:42,600
Um, left hand down, yes.
If I reverse, left hand down, it'll
roll over that way, do we think?

686
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,240
<font color="

687
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,040
Yes, there you go!

688
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:54,320
Hey, Jeremy! What? I'm better!
I can't see a cow
on the roof of your Camaro any more!

689
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,960
I'm not hungry. What?!

690
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,360
I'm not hungry.

691
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,240
<font color="

692
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,040
It stinks, Jeremy.

693
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,680
That night, Brokeback and I feasted
on beef and squirrel,

694
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,600
and then, with May in bed,

695
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,000
we decided it would be
better for all of us

696
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,800
if the air conditioning
in his car were to break.

697
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,560
<font color="

698
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,600
(Sorry!)

699
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,600
(Why don't we just hit it
with a hammer?)

700
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:35,840
RICHARD LAUGHS

701
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:36,880
(Hold on.)

702
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,920
(Oh, hang on, hang on!)

703
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,880
THEY LAUGH

704
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,680
(They really built these old buses.
It's ridiculous!)

705
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,280
<font color="

706
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,520
Oh, I'm just hitting it
with a spatula.

707
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,320
Another mosquito just bit my face.

708
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,200
It's not working.

709
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,240
JEREMY LAUGHS

710
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,240
He's gonna notice, isn't he?

711
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,760
THEY LAUGH

712
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:18,240
Another humid day dawned,
<font color="

713
00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:21,680
Those pathetic,

714
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:27,600
lager-swilling, barbecuing, redneck
thugs that I call my co-presenters

715
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,240
have vandalised my car.

716
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:36,520
I have had to make
a few modifications

717
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,520
to the car this morning.

718
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,040
<font color="
I lost the aerial,

719
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,240
so now I've got an iStation instead.

720
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:47,560
And that, teamed with the fan, means
I really can't see where I'm going.

721
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:52,800
Also, because some cow did get into
the car, I'm using air fresheners
here to cover up the smell,

722
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,040
<font color="
where I've been.

723
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,240
Oh, and, um, the passenger seat.

724
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:00,720
That got a lot of cow juice on it,

725
00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,840
so it's now
in the back of Hammond's truck.

726
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:11,800
RADIO: By this afternoon, skies
will be considerably cloudy with
<font color="

727
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,640
North east winds, 5-10mph.

728
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,120
Come on!

729
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,560
Alabama's only 40 miles now!

730
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:24,320
Our scrap yard cars have covered
650 miles and, inevitably,

731
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,520
they were becoming
more than just metal.

732
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:32,200
<font color="
why I love cars.

733
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,200
Take this Camaro.

734
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,440
The dash is more plastic than
an American newsreader.

735
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,400
The engine's got less power then
Belgium,

736
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,360
the suspension is softer than the
<font color="

737
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,560
and of course, it reeks of cow.

738
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,320
But, I adore it,

739
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,960
because you can just sense it wants
to keep going.

740
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:57,360
And I bet James is exactly the same
there in the Cadillac.

741
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,880
I bet he's having
<font color="

742
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,160
I'd rather be in this now
than an Enzo -

743
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,960
and I'm not joking.

744
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,680
But before we entered Alabama,

745
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,640
we had to go to Bagdad
for our next challenge.

746
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,760
This is it!

747
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,200
We are in Bagdad.

748
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:26,360
<font color="
on this trip.

749
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,880
Challenge time.

750
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,280
Lose 5lbs in one hour?!

751
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,800
Yep, sweat it away! Come on then.

752
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,160
No.

753
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:58,960
OK, it says here we must not be shot
or arrested as we drive across
the proud state of Alabama.

754
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:03,720
<font color="
if we can get one of the others
shot or arrested.

755
00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:06,920
I don't understand.
How do we do that?

756
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,920
You will therefore decorate
one another's cars in such a way

757
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,080
to draw maximum attention
to yourself

758
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:17,160
<font color="
deeply Christian part of the Union.

759
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,800
Decorate? I think what it means is,
we each have to write slogans

760
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,520
on the other cars. So you...
To get them killed? Yeah.

761
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,720
<font color="

762
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:30,920
You do... I'm doing yours. I'm
getting you killed. Well, come on!

763
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,680
The South, the South.
It's Christian, short hair,

764
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,520
they don't like communists...

765
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:47,200
What is closest to their heart?
<font color="
is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

766
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:50,840
I'd be letting you down, me down,
everybody down. He-he-he!

767
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:56,280
Revenge for all those height gags.
Every time he's called me Hamster.

768
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,560
This is for every time
<font color="

769
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,200
AS ROLF HARRIS:

770
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,200
Can you tell what it says yet?

771
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,360
RICHARD WHISTLES

772
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,320
James. I hate you for that.
I really hate you for that.

773
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,840
All the times you drove into
the back of my Cadillac. Yeah.

774
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,600
<font color="
we've all done a good job here,

775
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:24,040
but I do believe that the person
most likely to be shot

776
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,920
is indeed Hammond.

777
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,560
Simple. I think what you've done
there is killed your friend. Yeah.

778
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:33,720
<font color="

779
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:41,800
Three religions down here - George
Bush, God, country and western -

780
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:43,560
in that order.

781
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,000
Ascending order.

782
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:00,880
I'll be honest,

783
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,680
I have felt less conspicuous
than this.

784
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,560
Here we are, sweet home Alabama.

785
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,960
<font color="

786
00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:29,600
They've shot their own sign!

787
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,960
What are they gonna do to us?!

788
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:57,920
To understand what Jeremy's done to
my car, you have to understand that
this is deep Republican territory.

789
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:02,960
That woman is the arch-Democrat.
She is the Antichrist.

790
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,240
<font color="

791
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:08,240
It's the fact that it's painted on
a pick-up,

792
00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:09,840
symbol of the South.

793
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,760
I mean...

794
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,760
HORN BLARES

795
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:12,800
Ooh!

796
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:17,360
And then Jeremy has written on
the boot, "NASCAR sucks".

797
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,560
Now, that's a type of
<font color="

798
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,720
that is very big
in this part of the world.

799
00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:25,440
This is where the drivers come from,
all the building of
the cars is done,

800
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,400
all the supporters come from here,
and to say it sucks

801
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,960
is a bit like going up and punching
<font color="

802
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,160
No! No!

803
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:40,800
HORN BLARES

804
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:41,880
Whoa!

805
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,360
HORN BLARES

806
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:53,560
We'd survived the highway, but then
we had to pull into a town for fuel.

807
00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:01,600
Oh, this is

808
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,960
really terrifying.

809
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,040
OK!

810
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,760
<font color="

811
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,960
That's diesel.

812
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,360
That's...I've gone...

813
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,720
< MUTTERING

814
00:47:21,720 --> 00:47:24,600
"Hillary for President" -
that's not going down well.

815
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,880
'This lady was cross,
but not as cross

816
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:29,960
'as the garage's owner.'

817
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,440
You!

818
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:35,680
<font color="
how long it takes to get beat up
in a hick town?

819
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,000
I'm not gay. I'm married.

820
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,640
I've got three children.

821
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,320
Er, no, we're not. No.

822
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:45,880
We've just sort of decorated
our cars in a distinctive manner.

823
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:49,280
<font color="
"Country and western is rubbish"?!

824
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,560
Guess what, you're in a hick town,
man!

825
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,240
We're gonna die now. That's it.
Don't you dare! BLEEP!

826
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:58,080
'She said she was gonna get
"the boys".

827
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,200
I'm gone!

828
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,320
<font color="

829
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:06,480
I've just remembered,
I've actually got loads of petrol.

830
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,760
TYRES SCREECH

831
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,720
And then - of all the moments...

832
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,400
Oi, jump leads! You're joking?!

833
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:15,920
Jump leads.

834
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,440
Not now!

835
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,720
<font color="
in history.

836
00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:27,600
You get the leads. I'll start it.
Tell your friend

837
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,760
if he tears up my parking lot
again...

838
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,600
'The rednecks arrived.'

839
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,920
We've just got a slight problem here.

840
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,880
INDISTINCT SHOUTING

841
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,000
<font color="

842
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,800
Then they turned on the film crews!

843
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,480
Hey!
INDISTINCT SHOUTING

844
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,000
Quick!

845
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000
SHOUTING CONTINUES

846
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,920
'Rocks started pelting our vans.'

847
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,560
Go! Get out of here!

848
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,840
What's happening?

849
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,600
SHOUTING CONTINUES

850
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,360
<font color="

851
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:14,520
'For the next few moments, our TV
programme became a radio show.'

852
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,920
Oh, BLEEP,
there are the pick-up trucks.

853
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:22,800
Get your foot down. I think we've
got a load of them on our tail.

854
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,280
Something's going on here,
I'm telling you.

855
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:32,440
<font color="
were in the petrol station
have now just torn past us.

856
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,680
We need to get these slogans off,
lads.

857
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,280
Pull over, pull over.

858
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,280
Get the other side.

859
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:47,920
Nothing to wipe it off with now.

860
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,960
'With the artwork gone,
<font color="

861
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:03,200
I'm doing something
I never thought I'd do -

862
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:04,720
I am running for the border.

863
00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:07,960
God in heaven,
that was actually frightening.

864
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:10,880
They could have killed us!

865
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:14,280
They really do have
an irony deficiency.

866
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,240
<font color="
in certain parts of America now,

867
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:19,800
people have started to mate
with vegetables.

868
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:24,600
'And then with one problem behind

869
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:24,600
us, we ran straight into another.'

870
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,920
Whoa, lightning!

871
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:32,080
You think this is God punishing us?

872
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,120
<font color="

873
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,120
THUNDER

874
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,040
Did you hear that?!

875
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:47,000
'It was a great time to discover

876
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:47,000
that the wipers in my car
were worse than useless.'

877
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,120
This is like something out of
a horror film now.

878
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,960
I'm in serious trouble.
<font color="

879
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:03,840
'There were no exits and stopping
on the hard shoulder in rain like
this would have been suicidal

880
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,840
'so there was only one choice.'

881
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,720
Go right, Jeremy.

882
00:51:08,720 --> 00:51:12,080
Yeah, now this is...VERY BAD!

883
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:14,920
Left a bit.

884
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,400
<font color="
raining, please stop raining.

885
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,200
The other lane, go right.

886
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,200
I think I'm just gonna get out
and kill myself.

887
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:26,440
Put myself out of my misery...
Oh, hell's teeth!

888
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,720
'What with the storm
<font color="

889
00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:43,600
'our fly-drive holiday
wasn't going that well.

890
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,640
'I just wanted to get on
the big British jet and go home.'

891
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,640
I want to be met by a homosexual
in grey flannel trousers

892
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,880
saying, "Welcome on board,

893
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,880
<font color="

894
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,720
111 miles to New Orleans.

895
00:52:05,720 --> 00:52:06,880
Come on, Camaro!

896
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,800

of a travelling show...

897
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,480
Yes, that's it!

898
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:12,840
We're in Louisiana.

899
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:16,760
MUSIC: "Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves"
by Cher

900
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:20,600
<font color="
and sell our cars.'

901
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:38,880
'And that, actually,
would be quite a sad moment.'

902
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:42,120
I LOVE my Cadillac.

903
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:46,080
I mean, we've known each other,
what, a few days

904
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:50,760
and we've had this fantastic
<font color="
America and it's my car now.

905
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,200
I know all its foibles.

906
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:56,160
It's not the biggest truck,
it's not the fastest,
it's not the best looking,

907
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:59,560
but it just keeps going.
It's like a little Welsh pony.

908
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,160
<font color="

909
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,120
This car really is like
living in an old house.

910
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:09,200
You know to kick the back door
in a certain way to make it open.

911
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,640
It's the same with this. I know how
to keep the power steering going.

912
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,840
I know how to get the best out
<font color="

913
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:22,160
I liked it as a kind of joke when

914
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:22,160
we started but now, we're like that.

915
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:28,720


916
00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:32,320


917
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,920
'Of course, there were certain OTHER
problems with selling our cars.'

918
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:40,400
There's a very bad
<font color="
straight stretch here.

919
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,560
I'll keep the worry beads to hand.

920
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,800
Whoa!

921
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,240
Relax.

922
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,160
We're in New Orleans and something
has come off the Camaro.

923
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,880
The temperature gauge
is off the scale.

924
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:02,040
<font color="

925
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,920
'Finally though, we made it.'

926
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,880
'And my word,
were we in for a shock.'

927
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:20,800
'We had seen on the news what
Hurricane Katrina had done,

928
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,800
'but seeing the devastation
for real was truly astonishing.'

929
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,320
Oh, my God!

930
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:32,000
<font color="

931
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,280
Well, this is extraordinary.

932
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:37,960
Every house... I've been
driving now, what, 15 miles?

933
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,280
There isn't a pavement,
there isn't a building,

934
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,040
there isn't anything
that isn't smashed.

935
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:47,560
It's such a vast scale
<font color="

936
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:52,080
'A year had passed
since Katrina had blown through

937
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:57,680
'and we sort of assumed that after
12 months, the wealthiest nation
on Earth would have fixed it.

938
00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:58,960
'But we were wrong.'

939
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,320
How can the rest of America
sleep at night

940
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,440
<font color="

941
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,880
'It certainly gave us a problem.

942
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,720
'The original plan had been for us
to sell our cars here

943
00:55:14,720 --> 00:55:17,040
'and see who could
get the most money.

944
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:21,280
'But in the midst of all this,
that just seemed...wrong.'

945
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:32,000
<font color="
and decided we should
give our cars away.

946
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:33,640
'So we called the local mission

947
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:37,760
'who put us in touch
with some families who'd
lost theirs in Katrina.'

948
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:41,200
It's got an alloy. It's not been
messed with in any way.

949
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:45,880
<font color="
it's like new under there.

950
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,600
I like it. Done, it's yours.

951
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,600
Take the truck, it's yours.

952
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,160
Look after it.
It's been a good friend to me.

953
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,280
All right, we appreciate it.

954
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:58,000
'Jeremy did his usual trick
<font color="

955
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,000
Rev counter - not good,
speedo - not good,

956
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,840
fuel gauge - not good.

957
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:06,560
Dent on the roof -
that was caused by a cow.

958
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:10,880
As far as driving it is concerned,
the engine is brilliant.

959
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,920
Gearbox - tiptop.

960
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,040
<font color="

961
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:23,000
'So, although it hadn't been
the most relaxing holiday,

962
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,640
'it had been a proper
boy's own adventure.'

963
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:46,360
'And what's more, we could go home

964
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:46,360
knowing that we'd done a little bit

965
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:49,360
'to help those less fortunate
<font color="

966
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:56,120
'Well, Richard and I could,
but James sadly couldn't
even give his car away.'

967
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:02,280
It's still here! A family came round
this corner not ten minutes ago.

968
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:05,880
"Thank you, we lost everything in
Katrina!" And they rejected it.

969
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,880
<font color="
the airport in my car?

970
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:10,400
No. Me neither.

971
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:12,480
Ta-ra.

972
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,240
Hammond, can I borrow
the jump leads? No.

973
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,720
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

974
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:30,960
Loser, loser!

975
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:38,080
<font color="

976
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:38,080
Earth, you'll be able to see his car

977
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:41,960
cos it'll still be there! You'll be
able to see it cos it's big enough.

978
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:45,960
OK, so there's no doubt that
James lost that challenge

979
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:47,760
and equally we know that I won.

980
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:49,320
<font color="

981
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:52,800
Well, my Camaro was the fastest,

982
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:52,800
it had the best brakes,

983
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:56,200
it didn't break down -
apart from the wipers - much,

984
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:57,600
so it was the best!

985
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:01,120
It wasn't quite as easy to give away
as you made out in that film.

986
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,480
<font color="

987
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:09,320
Why don't you tell the ladies and
gentlemen what happened after the
cameras had been turned off? Yeah.

988
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:14,080
Well, a lady came and she said she
was a lawyer representing the
Christian mission we'd gone to

989
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:18,800
<font color="

990
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:18,800
by one of our researchers
a 1991 Camaro and it was an '89

991
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,640
and she said that was
misrepresentation
and she was going to sue me.

992
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:25,640
It really did happen,
it really did happen.

993
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:31,280
<font color="

994
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:31,280
$20,000 in cash, she might be able
to make the case go away.

995
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,720
And you won't believe
what happened to us next.

996
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:37,200
No, which was that
a very large pick-up turned up

997
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,080
full of heavily-armed burly men

998
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,960
<font color="
Yes.

999
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:45,920
So really we do have TWO Top Gear
top tips for you tonight.

1000
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:50,440
One - yes,
you can buy rather than rent

1001
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:52,760
and two - don't go to America!

1002
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,960
Top Gear's back to its normal self
next week,

1003
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,080
<font color="

1004
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:21,320
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2007

1005
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:25,360
Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk