1 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,876 TAD: Jay, Mark, 2 00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,530 I would like to discuss with you 3 00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:11,489 my vision for Mountains of the Valley, the world's 4 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,796 first upscale breastaurant. 5 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,363 I'm confused, Trevor. 6 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:16,929 I thought you owned the trademark to that name 7 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,409 and you had refused to sell it to him. 8 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:21,151 Yes, but in the end, Jay couldn't countenance 9 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,762 the alternative name that Tad settled upon: 10 00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,199 Boobs and Steaks. 11 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,983 So they asked me to let Tad 12 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,941 have "Mountains of the Valley," 13 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,813 -and here we are. -TAD: And how are we coming 14 00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,945 with the menu, Jay? You got my email about the lamb? 15 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:33,990 Yeah, I did. 16 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:35,513 Tad, it's just, you know, 17 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,733 the individual chops are kind of my signature. 18 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,692 Yeah, got to be a rack, otherwise it won't make sense 19 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,129 when the servers ask 20 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,826 if anyone would like to see their huge rack. 21 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,306 Well, it's hard to argue with that, Tad. 22 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,613 And what exactly are jalapeño knockers? 23 00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:50,311 That's for Jay to figure out. 24 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,530 But they're on the menu. 25 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:56,534 [sighs] Gabe, we have to find a way to save Mahesh. 26 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,710 We can't let our restaurant turn into this. 27 00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,843 Okay, guys, I'll see you tomorrow. 28 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:02,801 [short chuckle] 29 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,194 Yeah, this is hell. 30 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:06,892 Who is that? 31 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,678 Nikki, the new barkeep. 32 00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,680 She looks... 33 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,247 very qualified. 34 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,205 Are you talking about those strong muddling hands? 35 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,946 Yeah, I noticed that, too. 36 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,861 Calluses for days, am I right? 37 00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,646 Oh, yeah. No mint is safe. 38 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,476 ♪ ♪ 39 00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:30,612 What do you mean, you're moving out? 40 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,134 I know this comes as a shock. 41 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,006 When I moved to the basement, I considered it 42 00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:36,400 a permanent and authentic decision. 43 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,924 But what can I say? My friends miss me. 44 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,883 [scoffs] Spare us, Isaac. 45 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,886 You moved down here so you could run for ghost representative 46 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,496 as a basement dweller. 47 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:46,801 Now you don't need us, 48 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,759 so you're out of here. Fine. 49 00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:52,155 Take your carpet and put it in your bag 50 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,983 -and shove it. -Oh. 51 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:57,856 Well, this is emotional for all of us. Hmm? 52 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,860 I, for one, will remember each and every one of you fondly. 53 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:05,516 I'm back. [laughs] I'm free of those freaks. 54 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,345 [sniffs] Oh, do you smell that? 55 00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,478 -I don't smell anything. -Precisely. 56 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,349 Oh, it's good to be home. 57 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,090 Welcome back, Isaac. 58 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,093 SAMANTHA: Hey, 59 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:19,443 uh, Tad? I just wanted to talk to you about something. 60 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,489 Oh, I'm glad you're here. 61 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,839 What if instead of small, medium and large, 62 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:24,927 we offered our drinks 63 00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:26,755 in a B cup, C cup and D cup? 64 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,452 I think this guy might be a genius. 65 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,976 Tad, are you sure that this rebrand 66 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,761 is the best thing for the business? 67 00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:35,329 It's just, Mahesh is very precious to Jay. 68 00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,287 I mean, he named it after his dad. 69 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,594 I named the main character after my dad 70 00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:42,684 in my classic noir film Jimmy The Deadbeat. 71 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,165 -He must have been very touched. -[phone chimes] 72 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,123 Sons of bitches. Sorry, sorry. 73 00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:49,734 City council is voting tomorrow 74 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,389 to officially remove me from office. 75 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,216 Oh, I thought that already happened. 76 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:57,612 Effectively, yeah. It's just a formality. 77 00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,875 But if the vote goes your way tomorrow, 78 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,442 you could be mayor again? 79 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,705 Never gonna happen. Councilman Gus Heyward, 80 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:04,923 my nemesis, 81 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,490 is the deciding vote, 82 00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,971 so unless he has a miraculous change of heart, 83 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,060 I'm afraid you guys are stuck with me. 84 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,540 I always wanted to have a nemesis. 85 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:13,889 Well, what about your friend who was sleeping 86 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,238 with your wife for all those years? 87 00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,022 Oh, yeah. I guess I do have one. 88 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,589 -[chuckles] -SAMANTHA: Hang on, 89 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,157 if Gus did change his mind and reinstate you, 90 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:22,941 is that something you'd be interested in? 91 00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:24,160 Yeah, of course. 92 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,554 Public service is my passion. 93 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,860 I just want to help people and make the world better. 94 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,036 Hey, Tad, the tank tops came in but 95 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,560 they're not bedazzled like you wanted. 96 00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,170 TAD: Seriously? 97 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,912 I spent 20 minutes on the phone with that guy. 98 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,261 I sent him multiple sketches. 99 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,611 Sorry, excuse me. 100 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:43,745 This is interesting. 101 00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,573 Sam, it seems like if you can get Tad 102 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,227 his mayorship back, he'll drop the whole restaurant idea. 103 00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:49,707 Whoa, ho, let's just take a beat. 104 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,883 What about Nikki? She just got this job. 105 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,233 Is anybody thinking about her? 106 00:03:53,406 --> 00:03:54,799 'Cause I'm thinking about her. 107 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,758 I'm... I'm thinking about her quite a bit. 108 00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,107 SAMANTHA: We got to talk to this councilman, 109 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,891 see if we can change his mind. 110 00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:01,850 Now, hold your horses. You want to flip a politician, 111 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,982 -you're gonna need some leverage. -What do you mean? 112 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,115 I'm talking about dirt. 113 00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,030 Who is this guy? What's he hiding? 114 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,337 Everybody has something they don't want someone 115 00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,861 -to know. -Like my unpermitted deck. 116 00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:13,992 I mean, I would've done just about anything 117 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,559 to keep that from coming out. 118 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:18,649 The stairs weren't even to code, God forgive me. 119 00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:20,260 That makes a lot of sense, Joan. 120 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,652 I'm gonna go do some digging on this councilman, 121 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:24,829 see if we can find anything useful. 122 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,615 It's like she doesn't care about Nikki at all. 123 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,312 [scoffs] Heartless. 124 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,187 [groans] 125 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,016 [groans] 126 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,845 Isaac! 127 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,717 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 128 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,633 I just can't seem to fall asleep. 129 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:48,375 Perhaps I'm out of practice sleeping lying down. 130 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,464 In the basement, we sleep standing up. 131 00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,553 Like cattle. Or horses. 132 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,598 Also, giraffes. Which, as I understand them, 133 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:57,688 are kind of like tall, orange donkeys. 134 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,211 Look, I've got a big day tomorrow. 135 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,604 The new Peoplemagazine is arriving, 136 00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:01,997 and I'm hoping for a Chalamet cover. 137 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,738 Oh. Wait, what happened to Momoa? 138 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,697 Oh, hunks are over. It's all about hot rodent men now. 139 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,699 "Hot rodent men." 140 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,571 Okay, good night. 141 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,966 [groans] 142 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,273 I swear to God. 143 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,971 JOAN: Oh, God, this takes me back, 144 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,147 digging up dirt on a bigwig. 145 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,367 A politician with a dark past. 146 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,804 Classic noir stuff. 147 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:29,372 This guy's a saint. Councilman Gus Heyward 148 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,765 volunteers at church, 149 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,201 fundraises for the Salvation Army, 150 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,811 fosters disabled dogs. 151 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:37,337 Boom. I got a parking ticket in 1996. 152 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:38,860 Is that anything? 153 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,428 Not exactly a dead hooker, but it's a start. 154 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,386 Happy blackmailing, everyone. How's it going? 155 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,127 JOAN: We've got bubkes. 156 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,650 This guy's cleaner than Orson Welles' plate 157 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,435 after a steak dinner at Musso's. 158 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:49,740 She has a way with words. 159 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:50,872 I don't know what any of them mean, 160 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,743 but I like how she says 'em. 161 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,092 Wait, is that the guy? 162 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,572 -That's Gus? -SAMANTHA: Yeah. 163 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,227 -Why? -Because I've seen him before. 164 00:05:58,488 --> 00:05:59,533 And if we need dirt, 165 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,317 oh, boy, I got a whole truckload. 166 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:02,927 Enough to get the mayor his job back? 167 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,364 And then some. 168 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,235 Oh! I got a second parking ticket. 169 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,932 A pattern emerges. 170 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:14,939 Just tell us, Pete. What do you have on Gus 171 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,376 that would be so damning that he would have 172 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,421 to reinstate Tad as the mayor? 173 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:19,814 Well, I will tell you 174 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,382 right after a patented Martino drumroll. 175 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,391 -I saw him in an orgy. -Oh. 176 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,001 -What? -You remember months ago 177 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,698 when we snuck into the Farnsbys' media room 178 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,265 to move that bookshelf so that Thor 179 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:37,440 could watch his son get married? 180 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:38,963 We do have fun. 181 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,791 Yes, I remember. I jumped out the window 182 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:43,141 and I ran home to cancel our Ever Creek water subscription. 183 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:46,318 Well, after you left, you'll recall Jay was stuck in a closet 184 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,320 while your friends, who were renting the Farnsbys' home, 185 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:51,889 put on a DVD of what they thought was the movie Swingers. 186 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,848 But it turned out to be a sex tape 187 00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,806 of people who actually were swingers. 188 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,242 Bingo, 189 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,593 a septuagenarian orgy, one of the stars of which 190 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,116 was our friend Gus right here. 191 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,683 -Oh. -Oh. 192 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,033 Jay, Gus was in that amateur porn video you heard 193 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,687 in the Farnsbys' closet. 194 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,210 Oh, God. 195 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,995 That haunting knee clicking? That was Gus's. 196 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,171 A click, a clack, a romp in the sack. 197 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,522 She can really sell some gibberish. 198 00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:16,957 But, babe, none of this is good to us 199 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,307 unless we can get some hard evidence, 200 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,700 no pun intended. 201 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:20,831 Yes. 202 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,659 My guy's not afraid to go blue. 203 00:07:22,832 --> 00:07:24,356 Well, we better get that tape. 204 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,272 Or we could accept that Mahesh had a good run, 205 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,752 and Nikki gets to keep her job. 206 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,842 Who are we to play God? 207 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,235 So we'll get the tape. 208 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,671 -Yeah, we'll get the tape. -Great. 209 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:38,066 Suddenly, Ward McAllister opens his mouth 210 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,810 and vomits all over Alva Vanderbilt's birthday cake. 211 00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,247 Oh, and that's when I realize 212 00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:48,032 -the clams have turned. -[yawns] 213 00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,426 Am I boring you? 214 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,429 I'm sorry, Hetty, I-I didn't get a wink last night. 215 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,648 I've been in the basement so long, 216 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:55,953 I think I've grown habituated 217 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:58,956 to their unusual nocturnal customs. 218 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,088 HETTY: Hmm. 219 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,177 You've been institutionalized. 220 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:03,787 Excuse me? 221 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,485 In 1876, my mother made an offhand comment, 222 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,051 admitting to feelings of sexual longing. 223 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,401 She was thus diagnosed with hysteria 224 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,578 and whisked away to the local asylum. 225 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,971 -Naturally. -Upon her return 18 months later, 226 00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:15,973 she had grown accustomed to the ways of the asylum, 227 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:18,323 and it was now home where she felt a strange unease. 228 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:19,411 Yes. 229 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,196 That's exactly how I'm feeling. 230 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,545 So what did you do? 231 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:25,113 Well, we realized she needed to be weaned, 232 00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:26,767 so for a time 233 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,334 we brought a taste of the asylum back to Woodstone. 234 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,640 To help Mother go to sleep, 235 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,033 my sister Margaret and I 236 00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:33,904 would wail psychotically outside her door. 237 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,818 Interesting. So you're saying I should bring 238 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,604 some of the basement upstairs, 239 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,607 at least until I've weaned myself of their ways. 240 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:41,912 Indeed. Exactly. 241 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:42,913 Genius. 242 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,261 Thank you. 243 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,047 Now, where was I? Oh, yes. 244 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:49,877 Oh, it was a dangerous summer for shellfish. 245 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:52,270 GARRETT: I'm surprised you wanted to borrow a DVD. 246 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,707 Don't y'all have streaming over there? 247 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,709 I'm more of a physical media guy. 248 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,147 Me, too. Though I got burned bad by Betamax. 249 00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:00,627 How did VHS win? 250 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,933 It's a slightly inferior platform. 251 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,500 Oh, there's so many to choose from. 252 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,458 I think I'll just go with some of the classics. 253 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,635 Uh, Master and Commander. 254 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,637 Oh, Die Hard. 255 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,203 Whatever this is 256 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,378 and Sudden Death 257 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,293 starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. 258 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,208 Uh, wait, that one's not actually Swingers. 259 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,907 And Die Hard'snot what he thinks it is either. 260 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,212 It's fine, whatever. 261 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,040 No, you really don't want to see that. 262 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,215 Well, that's what they said about Batman Forever, 263 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,913 but guess what. I loved it. 264 00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:29,003 It's the Farnsbys having sex with a bunch of old people. 265 00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:33,442 I can handle it. 266 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:34,530 What? 267 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,576 Thank you, see you later. 268 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:40,449 So, how's married life? 269 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,016 He snores so loud. 270 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,235 Yeah, Vikings. 271 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,194 ISAAC: Okay, Hetty, 272 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,283 that's perfect. 273 00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,285 Pete, don't be afraid to scoot right in there. 274 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:53,244 All right, now, Sass, feel free to relax that posture. 275 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:54,463 We're looking for a nice, casual slouch, all right? 276 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,769 That's it. 277 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:56,857 What the hell's going on here? 278 00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,293 Hmm? Oh. [laughs] 279 00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,642 Well, uh, Hetty helped me see 280 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:00,948 that I had become institutionalized, 281 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,514 so in order to wean myself, 282 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:03,864 I've decided to temporarily recreate 283 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,780 the basement sleep experience upstairs. 284 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,259 Don't mind us, we'll just be 285 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,739 standing here quietly watching you sleep. 286 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,698 ISAAC [laughs]: Oh, it won't be quiet. 287 00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:13,743 No, the subterranean sleep experience 288 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,136 is a symphony of bodily noises. 289 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,311 What? 290 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,052 Well, for example, Nancy died 291 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,576 with pus blocking the majority of her nasal canal, 292 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,578 creating the most soothing nose whistle. 293 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,449 Hetty, I'm gonna need you to recreate that. 294 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,844 Oh, unfortunately, cocaine obliterated my septum. 295 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,237 The air blows through it 296 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,978 like a breeze through a mountain pass. 297 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,894 [sighs] Okay. Well, there's also a scent element. 298 00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:36,287 Did anyone die having recently eaten an onion? 299 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:37,985 Creepy Dirk did, and that pungent aroma 300 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,640 has become a bit of a security blanket. 301 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,164 You know, Isaac, these requests are a little more specific 302 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,644 than I anticipated. 303 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,516 I kind of just thought it would be clumping. 304 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,996 So that's a no to the onion? 305 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,693 Okay, well, somebody 306 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,173 has to be in charge of the bedtime stories, 307 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,914 and the main character's name has to be Isaac 308 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,134 because that is how the Trunk would always do it. 309 00:10:58,135 --> 00:10:59,049 I think I'm out. 310 00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:00,616 What? No. 311 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,183 I thought this would be, like, funny weird, 312 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,881 but now it's just kind of sad weird. 313 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,578 -Okay, bye. -ISAAC: Sass, 314 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:10,365 you can't leave. Three is not a clump! 315 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,454 All right. Alberta, you're in. 316 00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:13,977 [scoffs] Dream on, Isaac. 317 00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:16,545 I wish I could. 318 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,503 I wish I could. 319 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,115 JAY: Well, thank you 320 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,507 for meeting with me, Councilman Heyward. 321 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,640 Always happy to sit with a constituent. 322 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,686 Unfortunately, we've seen your happy face, 323 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,165 and that's not it. 324 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:29,819 Now, I'm in a bit of a hurry. 325 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,691 I'm volunteering at a soup kitchen this afternoon. 326 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,475 But what can I do for you? 327 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,129 Well, uh, sir, 328 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,001 I'm a colleague of the soon-to-be former mayor's, 329 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,090 and I would like you to reconsider 330 00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:42,832 stripping him of his mayoral duties. 331 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,008 We have seen him strip people before. 332 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,141 See, you're not the only one who can do wordplay. 333 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,056 Look, it's a shame what happened with Tad, 334 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:52,407 but he violated the trust and faith of this community. 335 00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,278 And unfortunately my hands are tied. 336 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,672 Not even gonna touch that one. Too easy. 337 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,021 Okay, I'm gonna cut right to the chase. 338 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,762 Tad is turning my dream restaurant 339 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,329 into an upscale breastaurant 340 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:02,547 and making me invent 341 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,114 jalapeño knockers, 342 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:07,770 so I'm going to slide a DVD to you now... 343 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,252 ...that will make you reconsider. 344 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,384 Aw, baby's first blackmail. 345 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,430 What is this? Swingers? 346 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:16,910 Well, it's not the Vince Vaughn love letter 347 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,433 to the Los Feliz of the '90s. 348 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:21,001 That is septuagenarian porn. 349 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,960 It's an orgy filmed at the Farnsbys'. 350 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,745 Oh, no. 351 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,268 That got his attention quicker 352 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,531 than Ms. Farnsby walking in with a riding crop. 353 00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:32,664 Look, I could get Tad his mayorship back, 354 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:33,970 but that won't fix things. 355 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,450 There's someone else 356 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,930 who wants Tad taken down, 357 00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,409 and she'll stop at nothing. 358 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:40,977 [gasps] A mysterious femme fatale. 359 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,631 The plot thickens. 360 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,980 What are you talking about? 361 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,547 I'm talking about the person who told me 362 00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:47,114 about Gate-gate in the first place. 363 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,680 The whistleblower. 364 00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,466 She's desperate to end Tad's political career, 365 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,685 and she's got more dirt where that came from. 366 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:54,643 Well, who is she? 367 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,601 I can't tell you that. 368 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,386 And now that I have this, 369 00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,822 I don't have to. 370 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,390 And you won't be able to prove a thing. 371 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,481 Dude, I have copies. 372 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:07,830 Oh. 373 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:08,875 Can I have those? 374 00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,267 No. 375 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,313 Okay. 376 00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,532 In that case, I'll tell you. 377 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,273 The whistleblower is... 378 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,405 Tad's wife. 379 00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:18,841 JOAN: The wife did it. 380 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:21,061 Classic twist. 381 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,584 But tell me more about this breastaurant. 382 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:23,933 Is there a back room, 383 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,979 and do you rent it out to large groups? 384 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,377 Okay, yes, I was the one 385 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,205 who turned Tad in for Gate-gate. 386 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:37,425 You enjoying your food? 387 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:38,774 It's delicious. 388 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,558 Who are you talking to? 389 00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:43,344 Oh, I-I'm a ghost. I thought you knew. 390 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,128 Worked at Pizza Barn back in '05. 391 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:46,608 Four restaurants ago. 392 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:47,652 Didn't you see the check spike in her back? 393 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,132 What's delicious? 394 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:50,133 I was talking 395 00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,266 to you. The betrayal. 396 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,485 The betrayal is delicious. 397 00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:56,052 JAY: Mm, she is 398 00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,488 a big fan of betrayal, 399 00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,447 which, you know, keeps me on my toes. 400 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,667 So, circling back, why did you sabotage 401 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,844 your own husband's political career? 402 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,497 I did it for our marriage. 403 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,717 After our daughter went to college, 404 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,719 it was supposed to be our time. 405 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,330 We always said we'd sell the house, buy a boat, 406 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:17,291 sail to the islands, but our time never came. 407 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,814 Love your outfit. 408 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,076 PETE: They're clearly 409 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,382 in a conversation. 410 00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:22,774 Have some ghost-to-Living etiquette. 411 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,734 MELANIE: After he sold the car dealership, 412 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,083 then he ran for mayor. 413 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,216 I saw even less of him then. 414 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,739 So you took him down, but then, 415 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,349 instead of spending more time with you, 416 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,525 he just dove into a new project. 417 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:35,918 Exactly. 418 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,615 He's never going to stop working. 419 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:38,965 She's a bit of a bummer, but 420 00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,749 you've got to feel for the broad. 421 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,098 [sighs] 422 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:45,536 -[chuckles] Melanie. -MELANIE: Tad? 423 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,321 What are you doing here? 424 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,713 I'm picking up my moo shu pork. 425 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,368 Jay recommended this place to me. 426 00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,109 Jay, you recommended this place to Tad 427 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,503 and suggested it to Melanie for our secret meeting? 428 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,766 Well, it's a great place, but they're not doing very well. 429 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,594 I'm just trying to support them. 430 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,118 -What's she talking about, secret meeting? -[Melanie sighs] 431 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,903 I'm tired of this. 432 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,644 Tad. 433 00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:08,777 I'm the one who blew the whistle on Gate-gate. 434 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,954 What? How could you? 435 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,695 Because I miss you. 436 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:16,524 It's actually kind of sweet, if you think about it. 437 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:20,049 Who cares? You ruined my political career. 438 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:23,748 [sighs] I can't believe you'd do this to me. 439 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,495 So, do we think that moo shu pork is up for grabs? 440 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:34,672 -Jay. -Well, I don't want it to go to waste. 441 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,066 [ghosts snoring] 442 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,075 -Isaac. -No, shh, shh. Back to sleep. 443 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,643 -Hey. -No, no, let's just... -STUART: Isaac, you're back. 444 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,732 Hey, everyone, Isaac's back. 445 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:55,389 Oh. Look who came crawling back, standing up. 446 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,696 No, no, no, no, I'm not back. I simply want to sleep with you. 447 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,568 -Listening. -Uh, no, I mean, 448 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,526 I've been having trouble sleeping upstairs, 449 00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:05,965 so I thought I would just come down here to get some shut-eye. 450 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:08,793 Yeah, right. I know what this is. 451 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,491 -You miss us. -[Isaac scoffs] 452 00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,362 Yeah, right. What do I miss, hmm? 453 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,842 Dirk's onion breath? 454 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,149 Stuart's idiotic pontificating about wood? 455 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,325 The warm, womb-like security of the clump? 456 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:21,371 Okay, fine, I miss you freaks. There, I said it. 457 00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:24,026 Isaac, just because you don't live down here anymore 458 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,723 doesn't mean you can't come visit. 459 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,856 -Really? -Absolutely. 460 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,293 We have an open-door policy down in the pit. 461 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,208 Mostly because someone nailed a door shut 462 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,644 to make sure we died in here. 463 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,777 -Yeah, you're always welcome. -Yeah. 464 00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:39,128 Oh, there's that onion breath I've missed so much. 465 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,782 Oh, what do you say, one more overnight 466 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:44,829 -for old times' sake, hmm? -Come on, clump up, buddy. 467 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,918 [Nancy and others sigh] 468 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,095 [Isaac sighs] 469 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,183 [ghosts snore] 470 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,490 So I could be mayor again 471 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,537 because Gus goes to senior sex parties? 472 00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,408 I know you're processing a lot, 473 00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:01,020 but, yes, that is pretty much the gist of it. 474 00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,499 Are the parties just for seniors? 475 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,718 Or do young people just choose not to go? 476 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:04,935 TAD: I don't know. 477 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,373 With my marriage falling apart, 478 00:17:06,589 --> 00:17:07,983 maybe it's better to just turn the page, 479 00:17:08,156 --> 00:17:10,246 launch this restaurant. I mean, 480 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:13,031 you nailed these jalapeño knockers. 481 00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:15,338 Idea-- what if they were served 482 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:18,950 in a bra basket that the customer had to unclasp? 483 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,692 We are watching a once-in-a-generation talent. 484 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,347 And the clasp is an onion ring. 485 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:27,089 -What a mind. -SAMANTHA: Uh, Tad, 486 00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:28,873 there's someone here to see you. 487 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,746 I came to apologize. 488 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,661 It's true, I've been unhappy, 489 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,881 but I never should have blown the whistle on Gate-gate. 490 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,883 In my defense, I had just 491 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,756 polished off a box of white zin. [laughs] 492 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,410 She'd probably get along really well 493 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,107 with that wino Lucille Ball. 494 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,630 -[chuckles] -TAD: Honestly, 495 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,980 I'm not mad at you. You were desperate. 496 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:52,419 And it's true, I-I-I do love my work. 497 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,638 But I also love you, 498 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,728 so I'm not sure where that leaves us. 499 00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,513 Well, here's a "cake and eat it, too" suggestion. 500 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,950 He wants to work, she wants to spend more time together. 501 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:04,126 What if they took a page out of the Sam and Jay playbook 502 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,867 and worked together? 503 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,956 What if there was a way that you could still be mayor 504 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,524 and also spend more time together? 505 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,178 By being like me and Jay? 506 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,918 -What do you mean? -Cash-strapped? 507 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,746 -Inept at business? -Friendless? 508 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,748 Maybe you could work together at the mayor's office. 509 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,229 Oh, I would love to work with Tad, but... 510 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,927 I don't know if I'm built for the world of politics. 511 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,626 I don't know, that was pretty manipulative and underhanded, 512 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,497 the way you derailed Tad's career. 513 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:28,933 That's true. 514 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,457 She could be your chief of staff. 515 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,067 Oh, uh, I already have one. 516 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:33,721 Not after you throw Jeremy under the bus 517 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,505 for any residual Gate-gate fallout. 518 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,377 My God, that came to her easily. 519 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,858 I like it. We're gonna do great things together. 520 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,773 We could even do some traveling, 521 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:45,776 like you wanted, but on the city's dime. 522 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,691 He heard he's getting his job back five seconds ago, 523 00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,476 and he's already knee-deep in new corruption. 524 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:50,999 JAY: Oh, no. 525 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,566 You probably won't have time to be the mayor 526 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,438 and run a world-class breastaurant, though, huh? 527 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:58,833 That's true, but I don't want it happening without me. [sighs] 528 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,531 I'm gonna have to pull the plug on Mountains of the Valley. 529 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,968 You can still put jalapeño knockers 530 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,709 on the Mahesh menu if you want. 531 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,843 Thank you. I will take that under serious consideration. 532 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,932 Thank you guys for everything. 533 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,716 TAD: We got to go, 534 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,196 but we'll write you from St. Kitts, 535 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,329 where we'll be on a catamaran, 536 00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:19,549 working tirelessly for the people of Ulster County. 537 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,899 And in the end it all worked out. 538 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,032 The girl got the guy, the guy got the job, 539 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:27,601 and I got to smell something called moo shu three ways. 540 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:30,038 Which, ironically, was the name of the move 541 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,041 Gus was doing on that tape. 542 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,439 NEWSCASTER [over TV]: Well, it seems that Mayor Tad 543 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,092 has somehow survived the Gate-gate scandal 544 00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,833 and will not be stepping down anytime soon. 545 00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,793 Oh, good news for Tad, bad news for jalapeño knockers. 546 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,447 Yeah, sorry, Trevor. 547 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,753 This is a setback for the upscale breastaurant industry 548 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,364 as a whole. 549 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,583 But we have been through worse and we will be back. 550 00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,237 And in a surprising twist, 551 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:56,891 Tad's return to office was aided 552 00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:00,808 by a longtime political foe-- Gus Heyward. 553 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,593 I caught up with the city councilman earlier today. 554 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,465 That's the thing about politics. 555 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,294 You never know when people are going to come together. 556 00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:10,209 That language felt purposeful. 557 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,167 -I think you're probably reading into it. -My point is, 558 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,864 you have to be flexible. 559 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,432 Sometimes you just have to reach across the aisle 560 00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,173 and give someone a hand. 561 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,393 Okay, well, there's no reading into that. 562 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,133 Okay, yeah, this guy's a freak. 563 00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:24,266 He did that same wink on the tape. Ugh, it haunts me. 564 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,007 NEWSCASTER: And now let's turn it over 565 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:29,445 to brand-new Channel Five weatherwoman Nikki Snow. 566 00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:33,232 A cold front is expected to move in over the next few days. 567 00:20:33,406 --> 00:20:35,843 Wait, is that the bartender from Mountains of the Valley? 568 00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,194 -Yes. -Glad she landed on her feet. 569 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,675 Can't keep that kind of talent down. 570 00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:49,378 Captioning sponsored by CBS 571 00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:52,686 and TOYOTA. 572 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:56,690 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org