1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 I had no idea so much went into a wedding. 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaking as your wife, that was clear. 3 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,000 CAPTAIN: Hmm. Five boxes... 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,000 Six, seven, eight in here. 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,000 And ten in the lobby. Excellent. 6 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000 Right. Lift from the knees! 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000 Trust me, you don't want a hernia. 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,000 -Head! -What? 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000 Chog. 10 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000 Hedgehog. Sorry. 11 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000 -I thought I saw a hedgehog. -Where? 12 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,000 -Did you? -Mmm-mmm. 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 No. Ah. 14 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 HUMPHREY: Chase it out with a broom. 15 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,000 Now, the other bit. I have you down 16 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000 HUMPHREY: What, again? 17 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,000 Can't he do it? I mean, uh, 18 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,000 -me do it? -Hardly. 19 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000 There's a lot of valuable ordnance on base, 20 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,000 and while your counterpart here is very dextrous, 21 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,000 observation is not his strong suit. 22 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 Okay. Fine. Pick me up at six. 23 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000 -Very good. 24 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,000 Oh, no, no, no! I know you're on a budget, 25 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000 but where are the oyster forks? 26 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 -They're not having oysters. -What? 27 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,000 How much? To hire knives and forks? 28 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,000 It's wedding silver, Mike. It's got to be top quality. 29 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000 Don't try to bend them! 30 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,000 -That's just what I heard. -No, don't be daft. 31 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,000 Course it ain't haunted. 32 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Just act natural. 33 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,000 If anyone asks, we're couriers 34 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,000 while looking for a toilet, 'cause you needed to go urgently 35 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,000 due to a recent operation to remove 36 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,000 That's a lot of detail, Vin. 37 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000 That's what makes it believable. 38 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000 Now, Pete says this place has been getting deliveries 39 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,000 for some big wedding bash. 40 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:04,000 Silverware, furniture, PA system... 41 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 So, what's the plan? 42 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,000 -So we case the joint, find a way in... 43 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,000 ...then come back when they're asleep... 44 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 and nick it. 45 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,000 I'll make love to you 46 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 If you want me to 47 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,000 And I'll hold you tight 48 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:29,000 Baby, all through The night... 49 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,000 I don't want him to! 50 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000 -Okay! -Great. They're doing 51 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Well, they're busy. 52 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,000 They won't even know I'm out. 53 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,000 You haven't told them? 54 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,000 It would just become some whole big thing 55 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000 and it's better if I just sneak out. 56 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000 -They won't bother you. -Hmm. 57 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,000 You've been on your own with them before. 58 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,000 Yeah, not at night, with the house 59 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,000 and them all dead and weird. 60 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000 You still can come with us, you know? 61 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000 Nah. You go. 62 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 They're your friends, really. I'll be fine, 63 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,000 with the... dead people. 64 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,000 -Thanks for waiting. -DRIVER: No problem. 65 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,000 VINNY: This is perfect. They're going out. 66 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 Come on, now's our chance. 67 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,000 But I've still got the thighs. 68 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,000 God, you eat slowly. 69 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000 Well, I have got that bowel thing. 70 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,000 No, you haven't. 71 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,000 Oh, yeah. 72 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000 MIKE: Yeah, no, that's cool. 73 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,000 No, no, no. No reason. I just thought if you 74 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,000 play a bit of Xbox or something, but it's fine. 75 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000 Another time. Yep. 76 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 All right, say hello to... 77 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,000 -Hello? 78 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,000 Tut! Aw! 79 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,000 Coming up tonight 80 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,000 I like ya and I love ya 81 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000 but I don't like ya. Know what I mean? 82 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,000 Yeah, I mean, no. 83 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 I just don't think 84 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 I have. You touched it. 85 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,000 That's not what I mean. 86 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Right. I know you can hear me... 87 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Amazing Kitty, so... 88 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,000 Now, I'm going to stay in here, okay? 89 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,000 And you stay... anywhere else. 90 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 I don't want any trouble. 91 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,000 I just want to watch my show, and eat my trifle, 92 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,000 Not that I will sleep. 93 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,000 Haunted house. On my own. 94 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 HUMPHREY: Oh. 95 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,000 Oh, visitors! 96 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Intruders? 97 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 Intruders. 98 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000 Intruders! 99 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000 Rum tuka-tum, rum tuka-tum Rum tuka-tum... 100 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,000 Snare drum! 101 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,000 Pom pom pom 102 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Pom-pom-pom-pom-drum 103 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000 They are they are. 104 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Intruders! 105 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,000 They are dumb Pom pom pom pom… 106 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Anyone? 107 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,000 They are dumb dumb 108 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,000 They're they're they're 109 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,000 They're they're they're They’re dumb 110 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,000 Oh, no, no 111 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,000 They are they are They-no-no no 112 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,000 They are they are They are. 113 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Horn section! 114 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Brum ba-rum bum bum bum... 115 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Small! 116 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 Bum bum or not 117 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,000 Bum bum or not 118 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000 Daddle-addle-ah 119 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Bum bum or not Very strong 120 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Baa-nup 121 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000 They’re doofs! 122 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,000 Shh! 123 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Whatever was that? 124 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,000 It’s the Coldstream Guards. 125 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,000 No, no. It comes from down stair. 126 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000 -Now… -Ooh! 127 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Ah, ah, ah! 128 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,000 JULIAN: Oh! I know what this is! 129 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,000 A masked ball! 130 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000 No, no. We had this at the Bramptons'. 131 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000 -A burglary! -Insurance fraud. 132 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,000 Oh, yes, I suppose it might actually be a burglary. Yes. 133 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000 CAPTAIN: Good Lord, there's another one. 134 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,000 Well, I can't see no cameras. 135 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,000 Oh, it's you, Nev. 136 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,000 I didn't recognise you. 137 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,000 I was just wearing a hat. 138 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000 Oh. Right. 139 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,000 Let's see what's worth nicking, shall we? 140 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000 All right. We have enemy insurgents. 141 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Somebody warn Alison. Tell her to inform 142 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 Where is she? 143 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 -In bed, I think. -I'll go! 144 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000 In the meantime, we must not lose sight of them. 145 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 -Fanny, keep eyes on the leader. -Right. 146 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Kitty, Mary, make a note of anything 147 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 We'll need a full inventory. 148 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000 -Ahem... -A list. 149 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,000 Oh. 150 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000 And as for you... 151 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 No! Leave this one to me. 152 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,000 I am placing you under a citizen's arrest. 153 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000 You do not have to say anything, 154 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000 but anything you do say will be taken... 155 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,000 Wurgh! Ohhh! 156 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Cheeky little blighter. 157 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,000 Tray. One tray. 158 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000 Silver tray. 159 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,000 How dare you! 160 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000 You contemptible, odious... 161 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Candlestick. One candlestick. 162 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000 No, no, no. Those come as a pair. 163 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,000 -Forks. -Just forks? 164 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:22,000 A dinner service requires a full canteen! 165 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000 He's taken nothing. 166 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,000 -Still nothing. -Yes, thank you, Mary. 167 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,000 Young man, you are heading down 168 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 But it's not too late, you know. You're yet to commit 169 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,000 Borstal. 170 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,000 You're going to borstal. They're going to eat you alive. 171 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,000 Nothing here. 172 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000 See? 173 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000 -VINNY: Anything? - 174 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,000 Can you smell that? What is that? 175 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 What? 176 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 I'm telling you, this place ain't right. 177 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,000 You ain't right. Come on, I think 178 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 -Right. -KITTY: DJ kit... 179 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,000 She's not here! Alison! He's alone up there. 180 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000 Maybe she's left him! 181 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Or gone out? Probably just gone out. 182 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000 Gentlemen... 183 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000 we're on our own. 184 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,000 Right. Box, 'nother box, bigger box. 185 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000 And some worms. 186 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,000 It is a lot to remember. 187 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000 No, it's only... 188 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,000 What did I just say? 189 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000 Oh! Alison taught me a clever way 190 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,000 when I kept forgetting the colours in a rainbow. 191 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:38,000 You make a sentence with the same first letters. 192 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:42,000 So, it's Richard Of York 193 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Gave Battle In Vain. 194 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:50,000 So that's red, orange, yellow... 195 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,000 grey... 196 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 -blue... -Yeah? 197 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,000 ...indigo... 198 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,000 Very light blue. 199 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 A rainbow! 200 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Sounds right. 201 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,000 So, candlesticks, cutlery, 202 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,000 and silver tray could be... 203 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,000 -Cups? -Yes! 204 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000 Cups. And... 205 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000 Oh, some more cups. 206 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 Exactly! 207 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:23,000 -Oh, that muddles things. -Oh. 208 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 Move it along, man! Push for the finish! 209 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 MALE OPERATOR: Emergency services. 210 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,000 MALE OPERATOR: What service do you require? 211 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,000 -The police, please! -The constabulary. 212 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,000 MALE OPERATOR: Do you need fire, 213 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,000 We not think this through. 214 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 MALE OPERATOR: Hello, is anyone there? 215 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000 Oh! The plague girl can be heard! 216 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000 -Yes! -To the pantry! 217 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Hang on. 218 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000 Was that always like that? 219 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Ghosts! It was definitely ghosts! 220 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Or I might have knocked it. I do do that. 221 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,000 What? Do you think someone's here? 222 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000 Shouldn't be, but... 223 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000 Let's be on the safe side. 224 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 Cut the phone line. 225 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,000 No. The main one. 226 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000 No. The main one! 227 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,000 Outside. 228 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000 -Come! Come! -JULIAN: This way. That's it. 229 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000 THOMAS: What? Who did that? 230 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000 Right, pay attention. 231 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,000 Just ask for the police. Tell them a burglary 232 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000 at Button House, then give them 233 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 FEMALE OPERATOR: Emergency services. 234 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000 -What service do you require? -Yes, please, Jemima. 235 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,000 Ring a ring o' roses 236 00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:00,000 A pocket full of posies... 237 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000 FEMALE OPERATOR: Hello, is anyone there? 238 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,000 -I think maybe that's all she does. 239 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000 Why is no one ever alive when you need them? 240 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Well... someone is. 241 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,000 Still nothing. 242 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,000 -Is he dead? -I wish. 243 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,000 No, I don't. Wait. Hang on... 244 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000 - 245 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,000 Scratch his head. 246 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000 Thatcher's dead? 247 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,000 No. Scratch his head. Or, like, jab him. 248 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,000 Come on. I'm exhausted! 249 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,000 -Don't complain about it. It's a gift. 250 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000 Give me some space. 251 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,000 Shwa-da! 252 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000 Oh, man! 253 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,000 Eeny, meeny, miny... 254 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 Main one. 255 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000 - 256 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,000 You could try prodding his... 257 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000 No! 258 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,000 No? 259 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 FEMALE OPERATOR: Hello? Can you hear me? 260 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000 FEMALE OPERATOR: If you can hear me, 261 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Hmm. 262 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000 Did you cut the wrong cable? 263 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000 It's possible. 264 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000 What d'ya reckon? 265 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000 Well, it's a fine piece. Look at the brushwork. 266 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000 Dunno. 267 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000 Oh, you "dunno". How are things at Sotheby's? 268 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000 The frame's all cracked. 269 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 Forget the frame, just cut out the canvas! 270 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000 Ugh! 271 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000 Trust me, it'll work. 272 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,000 Look, I just... I don't feel comfortable... 273 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 Oh, not still asleep? 274 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 I have been trying! 275 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000 But we need his help. He's our only hope. 276 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Star Wars! 277 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000 Well, I've done my bit. Good luck with it all. 278 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,000 -Well, you... -Wait! 279 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,000 In case of emergency... 280 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 break glass! 281 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Fine. 282 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000 But if I get RSI, I'm suing. 283 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000 Come along. 284 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 Shammo! 285 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Mi-wadi-wadi-wadi... 286 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000 CAPTAIN: Push, man! Push! 287 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 Good quality. 288 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000 ALL: Ooh! 289 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000 Ah! Made in Britain. 290 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000 Right. 291 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,000 - 292 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,000 -Shh! 293 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,000 Vin! 294 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,000 Maybe someone is in here. 295 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000 -Or something. -Shut up, Nev. 296 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000 Grab that candlestick. 297 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000 Right. 298 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Not that. That! 299 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000 I thought this was a candlestick. 300 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000 That's just a candle. 301 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,000 But it's in the shape of a stick. 302 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000 Yes, the shape of a stick. 303 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Look, just grab that! 304 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000 All right, this isn't funny. 305 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000 Stop messing about. Seriously. 306 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,000 He's up. 307 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,000 Yes, but how do we communicate with him? 308 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Morse Code! 309 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 Will he know Morse Code? 310 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 BOTH: Everyone knows Morse Code. 311 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000 Fine. I'll try. 312 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,000 But something light! Getting crampy. 313 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:28,000 Eh... Yes, probably not the best choice. 314 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000 Hmm. 315 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000 -They've... They've gone what? 316 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000 Mike, I can barely hear you. 317 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 Rogue! They've gone rogue! The ghosts. 318 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,000 He on phone! 319 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000 Robin? 320 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000 Ooh! It Alison! 321 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000 -Alison! There are insurgents! 322 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000 I don't know why, but they've wrecked the joint 323 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000 and broke the lights and blown the power 324 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000 -and I don't know what I'm going to do. 325 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,000 Sorry, can you stop talking? Can you open the wardrobe door? 326 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,000 What makes you think I'm in the wardrobe? 327 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000 -Are you? -Yes. 328 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000 Yes. 329 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000 Shush up! Shush up! One at a time. 330 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 Alison, there is a burglary in progress. 331 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 The authorities must be notified at once! 332 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000 -Oh, my... -Over. 333 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,000 Mike! Mike, there are burglars in the house. 334 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000 What? 335 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Can you just hang up, and stay where you are 336 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000 -I'm on my way! -Right. 337 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 Oh, no. 338 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000 Oh, come on! 339 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 VINNY: Anything? 340 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000 Nope. No one here. 341 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 Yeah, well, I definitely heard something. 342 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,000 Come on. Let's finish up 343 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 Right, if you can hear me, 344 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,000 knock three times. 345 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Why three times? 346 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000 -Yes! -Well done. 347 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000 Well, yeah, you know. 348 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Right. Okay. Where are the burglars now? 349 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,000 Well, how the hell am I supposed to answer that? 350 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000 No, that doesn't... Erm... 351 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000 What does she see in him? 352 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000 Right, okay... 353 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000 What weapons have they got? 354 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000 No. How many burglars are there? 355 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000 Yes, can do that. 356 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000 -And where are they? - 357 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Oh, this is futile. 358 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,000 Are they bigger than me? No... 359 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Or smaller? 360 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 PAT: Oh! I think I've had an idea. 361 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Me? Again? 362 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000 Are you still here... 363 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000 God! I haven't worked this hard since that animal welfare bill. 364 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,000 You had an animal welfare bill? 365 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000 No, no. I was lobbying against it. 366 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000 Balls to animals. 367 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,000 This way, everyone. 368 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000 -To the bog! -MIKE: ...twice 369 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000 -That's it. 370 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Oh. 371 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000 -Very good. -Good, good. 372 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000 -Very good. -Yes, yes, yes. 373 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,000 -Ooh! -Okay, Robin. 374 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Every time. 375 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,000 There we go. 376 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000 Okay... 377 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,000 How many burglars are there? 378 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 -Ah. -All right. Here we go. 379 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000 Two. Yes... 380 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000 20? 381 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000 I need to get out of here! 382 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000 What are you doing? There's not 20! 383 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,000 No, I was writing, "2 of them." 384 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000 Just write, "2." 385 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,000 Well, you know, hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it? 386 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000 Moron! 387 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 Hi. Do you have a car? 388 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,000 -30 minutes. -Could it be 20? 389 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 It could be 40. 390 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000 I'm sorry, are you haggling with... time? 391 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Look, it's an hour, love. Take it or leave it. 392 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,000 What are you doing? Oi! What the... 393 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000 CAPTAIN: Well, that's just wonderful, isn't it? 394 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000 Michael's gone AWOL, Alison is off-base, 395 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,000 and we have absolutely no way of contacting the authorities. 396 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000 We have to do something. Any ideas? 397 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 -Er... -Ooh! 398 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 Yes, please, Robin. 399 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,000 Oh, that's very helpful, isn't it? A deserter! 400 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000 I could have you shot for that, you know! 401 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000 Ooh... 402 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000 Well... 403 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,000 NEV: Do you think this is gold? 404 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000 -VINNY: No, it's silver. - 405 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000 NEV: How do you know? VINNY: Because it's silver. 406 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000 Just put it in the bag. 407 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000 Hyah! 408 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000 Why is everything so old? 409 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000 NEV: Who's there? 410 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000 -Me, you moron. -Oh, sorry, Vin. 411 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000 Well, swaddle them in something! 412 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000 If they crack, they're worth nothing. 413 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000 Cut glass decanters! 414 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000 Caused Godwin's dog... 415 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000 Three pewter tankards! 416 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,000 ...to puke up... turnip? 417 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000 Juice! 418 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000 I think putting it to music helped. 419 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,000 Erm, to be honest, I think I was nailing it anyways. 420 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,000 Hello. 421 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 Hello. 422 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,000 Were you murdered while hitchhiking too? 423 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,000 Huh? 424 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000 Oh, no. Oh... 425 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,000 No. Er, no. I was... 426 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000 I've got to go. I... 427 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,000 NEV: Anything else? 428 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,000 VINNY: Pete said there's disco lights. 429 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000 Oh, what's got into them? 430 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,000 Burglars? 431 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000 Stay there, Bunny. 432 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000 They'll rue the day! 433 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000 Hi. Hello? 434 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000 Hi. Sorry, erm, 435 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000 I know this is a long shot, but I need to 436 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,000 GIRL: Oh, look! Hi! 437 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000 Hi. 438 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000 I will survive 439 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,000 Oh, as long as I know how to love 440 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000 I know I'll stay alive... 441 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,000 What? Out there? In the garden? 442 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,000 Who goes there? 443 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,000 Bitches! 444 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000 No, no, no. Those were only pewter. 445 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,000 Save that space, and go back for the champagne! 446 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 -Just here, driver! - 447 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,000 It was just there. 448 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000 Can you drop me... 449 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000 I can jump off at the turning. 450 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000 -GIRLS: Bye! -Bye! 451 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000 I reckon that's it. 452 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,000 You've made your bed. 453 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,000 Don't come crying to me when you bend over in the shower 454 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,000 and someone puts drugs in your bottom! 455 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000 I watched a film about borstal. 456 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,000 Bits of it. 457 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,000 Well, mission very much not accomplished. 458 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000 At least tell me you got an inventory. 459 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000 -Caused... 460 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000 Two... 461 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,000 ...Godwin's dog... 462 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,000 Three... 463 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000 One... 464 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000 ...to puke up... 465 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000 ...turnips... 466 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000 Cups. 467 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000 And a rainbow! 468 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000 VINNY: Just give them here. NEV: What? 469 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000 Let's get out of here. 470 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000 What? 471 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:36,000 Oh, my God, it's a ghost! I told you! 472 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,000 Get in the van, Nev. 473 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,000 MIKE: Yeah, run away. Go on... 474 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,000 Oh, just leaving the witness alive, are we? 475 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,000 Not even a threat of violence? 476 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,000 At least take some identification 477 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000 and say you'll be back if he contacts the authori... 478 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000 What have I become? 479 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000 NEV: I can't believe we got away with it. 480 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000 See? Absolute piece of... 481 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000 Don't bally move! 482 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000 I've got a problem with my bowel! 483 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000 Move an inch and you will have. 484 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000 Good girls. Good girls! 485 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000 Ah! Annabel! 486 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,000 Alison. 487 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000 -...pivots in the middle. - 488 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000 -Ow! -I fought in an actual battle... 489 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000 There are burglars! 490 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000 Oh, you know that. 491 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,000 As a pivotal member of the local neighbourhood watch, 492 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,000 I was keeping my usual vigil over the surrounding estates... 493 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000 The operator thought she heard a child, 494 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000 so we traced the number and got the address. 495 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,000 What? 496 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000 We'd have been too late if it weren't for your friend here. 497 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,000 Thank you. 498 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,000 No, no. Least I could do. 499 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000 No one to blame but yourself, Neville. 500 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000 Mark my words. 501 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Gonna throw the book at you, son. 502 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,000 -What do you reckon? -No previous. 503 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000 You what? 504 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,000 I mean, they do still freak me out. 505 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000 But, well... they did good tonight. 506 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000 Yeah, they properly saved our skins. 507 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000 And to think, when I first met them, 508 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000 they seemed so selfish. 509 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 Well, close the door, then! 510 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000 I've had a hell of a day.