1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT For best IPTV provider, please visit: WWW.IPTV.CAT.BZ 3 00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:26,999 Alright folks. 4 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,999 Hope you’re having a good time. You’ve been a great crowd. 5 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,249 Here we go. Two guys are out golfing. 6 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:33,124 They're about to put. First guy lines his shot 7 00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,624 up, and just as he does, a funeral procession 8 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,124 passes by the golf course. 9 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:38,249 Well, the guy takes his hat off, 10 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,874 and he watches the entire procession go by. 11 00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:42,124 The guy that’s with him goes, “my god, 12 00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:44,874 that's the most respectful thing I've ever seen in my life. 13 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:47,250 The guy goes, “yep, we would've been married 25 years today.” 14 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:52,749 Alright, everybody last joke. Here we go. A beat up guy 15 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,374 is walking down a Las Vegas strip. 16 00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:55,540 He walks up to a tourist 17 00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:58,290 and says, “Hey man, I lost my credit cards.” 18 00:04:58,291 --> 00:04:59,416 My family and I are broke, 19 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,124 and I’m just trying to get them some food 20 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:03,749 and some gas for the car to get 'em home. 21 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:05,000 Can you spare anything?” 22 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,624 Well, the man starts to give 'em twenty dollars 23 00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:09,499 and then he says, “Hey, you're not gonna use this 24 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,624 to gamble are you?” 25 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:11,249 Beat up guy goes, 26 00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,916 “Oh no, I’ve got gambling money.” 27 00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:15,499 Alright folks, that's it for me. Have a great night. 28 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,291 And good luck at the tables out there. 29 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,375 Ladies and gentlemen 30 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,874 - Killed tonight. - I’d have done better if those 31 00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:27,583 two clowns hadn’t heckled me earlier. 32 00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:31,000 - You handled it good. - Eh. 33 00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:37,165 Hey, you got a sec? 34 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:38,874 Jets covered by two and a half. 35 00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:40,915 Lost by seven. Cardinal's ate ‘em up. 36 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:43,249 Shit! That ruined the three team parlay. 37 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,499 How’d the chargers do? 38 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,874 Fouts threw two interceptions. Lost by 14. 39 00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:48,624 Ah, that was my chase bet. Alright. 40 00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:50,124 Hey, gimme the line on Monday night, 41 00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:52,290 and I'll get the money to clean this mess up. 42 00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:52,874 Buddy, 43 00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:55,207 you're in everyone's pocket, how you gonna do that? 44 00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:57,415 I'll handle it. 45 00:05:57,416 --> 00:05:59,165 I got stuff to run by you. 46 00:05:59,166 --> 00:05:59,624 Not now. 47 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:00,875 Gimme 10. 48 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,499 - Loved the whale joke. - Love the hat. 49 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,249 Oh, Pete, remember that game we were talking about? 50 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,832 - Yeah. - I took the cardinals. 51 00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:08,999 They won by seven. 52 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,374 Now Bobby and I could finally take 53 00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:11,375 that trip to Palm Springs. 54 00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:16,125 - Great. Send me a postcard. - Sure thing, Pete. 55 00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:18,125 Everybody's winning. 56 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,666 It’s Pete, leave me a message. 57 00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,624 Mr. Finnegan? This is Linda from Nevada Bell. 58 00:07:03,625 --> 00:07:04,999 This is our final call. 59 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,999 You have until Monday, 5:00 PM 60 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,124 to pay the outstanding balance of $325. 61 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,749 Before we shut your phone off. 62 00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:13,874 Please return this call as soon as possible. 63 00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:17,874 You can reach me at 555-2425. 64 00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:19,999 It was your final call yesterday. 65 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:20,999 Mr. Finnegan, 66 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,874 this is John 67 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,874 with the Las Vegas Federal Credit Union. 68 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:26,249 Please call us back as soon as possible. 69 00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:29,124 You have until the 24th before your car is repossessed 70 00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:30,874 and returned to the bank. 71 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,749 Please get ahold of me here at Las Vegas 72 00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:33,875 Federal with any questions. 73 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,374 Hey Pete, you there? It's Jimmy. PD. You better pick up. 74 00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,999 Alright, call me when you get this. 75 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,749 I may stop by the club later. 76 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,624 You better have something good for me. 77 00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:49,124 Ugh 78 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,749 Mr. Finnegan it’s our fourth and final call. 79 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:54,124 As you know, your car insurance has lapsed again. 80 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,374 We need proof of insurance. 81 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:56,874 I can't make the car payment. What makes you think I 82 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:58,374 could pay the insurance? 83 00:07:58,375 --> 00:08:01,000 Call at 1 (800) 555-2500. 84 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,541 Here's another fine mess. 85 00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:42,291 What? What now? 86 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,833 Don't kill me, I'm just the messenger. 87 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:49,249 Jimmy's on the floor, and he’s not looking very happy. 88 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,166 Go get his money. 89 00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:53,499 That it? 90 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,124 Louie's been in-and-out a couple times. 91 00:08:55,125 --> 00:08:57,790 He asked about the show. - My show? 92 00:08:57,791 --> 00:08:59,624 I didn't say anything. 93 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,124 Anything else? 94 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,875 Nah. Except you know that shireen Broad? 95 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,624 The one who's always looking for you? 96 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:06,999 Well, she's looking for you. 97 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 What are you bringing that up for? 98 00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:09,749 You asked if there was anything else. 99 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,499 She's Johnny B's wife. You know that. 100 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,124 - Yeah, I know that. - Okay. 101 00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,624 So there's nothing to talk about - Alright. 102 00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:16,999 You know there's nothing going on there, 103 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:17,624 right? 104 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:18,875 Yeah. Okay. 105 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,375 All right. Go away. 106 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:23,040 You know you could be a real 107 00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:24,291 asshole sometimes. 108 00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,624 Oh, and by the way, I got a couple pails waiting for you. 109 00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,499 You’re set for the slots. 110 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,750 Nobody's in the room, so you have your picking machines. 111 00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:39,000 I'm going home now. 112 00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:44,375 Shit. 113 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,208 What's wrong with you? 114 00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:51,250 Go say you're sorry. 115 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,250 What are you smiling at? 116 00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,500 Oh, hello ladies. 117 00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:16,125 Be nice. Very nice. Be nice to me right now. 118 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,832 I been nice to you all. 119 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,999 At a girl. One more time. 120 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,415 One more time. 121 00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:26,500 Nice. 122 00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,957 Would you like a little more to eat? Huh? 123 00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:30,958 You still hungry? 124 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,999 I’ll pay five. You pay me 20. That's our deal, right? 125 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:37,875 I think that's our deal. 126 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,958 Five. Five. 127 00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:44,249 Oh! 128 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:46,999 Very nice. Very nice. You gonna be nice? You gonna be nice? 129 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,999 Are you gonna be nice? At a girl. Very nice. Very nice. 130 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:51,999 Who loves you? I do. 131 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,333 That’s who. I do. 132 00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:56,750 Alright. 133 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:21,541 Oh, come on now. 134 00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:24,000 Okay. 135 00:12:28,375 --> 00:12:31,624 Be good to me. Be good to me. There's some aces. 136 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:32,499 Be good to me. 137 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,624 Be good now. Be good. There you go. 138 00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,624 There's a little royalty. We love the paint. 139 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:48,500 We love paint cards. We sure do. Oh, come on. So close. 140 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,540 I'm jacked off. Huh? 141 00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:52,958 Sorry, my bad. 142 00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:58,000 Come on. Come on. 143 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,790 Okay. Slow down. 144 00:13:00,791 --> 00:13:02,458 Slow down. Slow down. 145 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,040 I knew you were gonna do it. 146 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,875 I knew you were gonna do it before we did it. 147 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,374 Good. Nice. Now come on. 148 00:13:08,375 --> 00:13:10,624 We’ve been together a long time. 149 00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:12,875 Funny man, get wiped up. 150 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,291 Is it gone now? 151 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:49,000 Never heard a joke about a whale before. Good one. 152 00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:51,874 Luck will be good for you tonight. 153 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:54,250 - How do you know? - The great spirit. 154 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:58,499 Luck may be bad for some. Good for others. 155 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,500 Dangerous for some. 156 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,166 Thanks for taking care of me, Jackie. 157 00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:08,999 You know about the steak and eggs at the golden nugget. 158 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,250 - So good. - Best meal for $2.29 in town. 159 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:18,625 Thank you for my steak and eggs. Enough for a good tip now. 160 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:20,875 You sure? 161 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:25,499 Yes. It's bad luck for me here. 162 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,375 It's good luck for me eating steak and eggs. 163 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,500 I'll be back later, Whale joke man. 164 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000 Just delightful. 165 00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:58,040 Shit. Damn, okay 166 00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,375 so we need to reload. 167 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,541 You be good to me today. 168 00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:13,374 Smoking an unlit cigarette. 169 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,250 Talking to a plastic unicorn of genius. 170 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,500 Hm. 171 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,999 - Words out. - Hey Jenny. 172 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,499 - You had 'em howling. - I killed. 173 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,124 - Oh, so humble. - Murdered, slayed. 174 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,249 Decapitated. 175 00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:36,500 Oh yeah, I heard. - Will you do me a favor? 176 00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,874 May I have a Virgin Mary, 177 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,374 40 bucks worth of quarters, and please keep the change? 178 00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:45,499 Yes sir. Hair decapitator. 179 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:49,165 Hey, how'd you pull off the whole non-smoking thing? 180 00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,749 You don't ask, you don't get. 181 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,624 I asked 'em to try it as an experiment. Maybe it'll stick. 182 00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:55,499 Besides, I need to quit. 183 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,250 Yes you do. 184 00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:57,708 Right. 185 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,624 Fuck me sideways. You’re on this fucking machine again. 186 00:17:07,625 --> 00:17:09,749 - The early bird gets the worm. - And sick fuck 187 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,166 gamblers are always sick as fuck. 188 00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:14,124 You playing long? 189 00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:16,750 Until I start to lose. 190 00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:19,374 You got my money? 191 00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,250 I'm working on that. 192 00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:30,332 Pete, you wanna know what they say about patience? 193 00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:33,666 What's that, Jimmy? It fucking runs out. 194 00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:39,624 I borrowed some of that money. You know that, 195 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,707 right Pete? 196 00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:42,750 And I like you, 197 00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:45,625 but the guys I owe ... 198 00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:50,250 I'll get the money. 199 00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:54,125 Hey, heard you were funny tonight. 200 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,249 Every dog has his day. I'll be back in an hour. 201 00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:01,166 I gotta go pick up some Testonis from a guy upstairs. 202 00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:03,415 Am I supposed to know what Testonis are? 203 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,832 A sneak aware mother fucker 204 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:08,332 Like you's got no idea what Testonis are? 205 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:08,874 Why not? 206 00:18:08,875 --> 00:18:11,249 Cause they're 15 grand a pair. That's why. 207 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,874 - Who the hell even wears those? - A Chinaman I know is good. 208 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,874 Every year he calls me. Wants me to pick him up, 209 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,499 polish ‘em, do a little heel work. 210 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,665 I'm the only guy in Vegas he trusts. 211 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,457 Take it he's financially secure. 212 00:18:21,458 --> 00:18:22,791 Yeah, right. 213 00:18:24,416 --> 00:18:25,624 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 214 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,125 You know that cocktail waitress, Jenny? 215 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,374 Yeah. You mean the one with the kid, Jasmine? 216 00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,374 Yeah. So... She was just- 217 00:18:32,375 --> 00:18:33,250 I took a run at her. 218 00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:35,500 Bitch told me to stop bothering her. 219 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:38,624 You win some, you lose some, Jimmy. 220 00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:40,999 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear her kid’s in the 221 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,499 emergency room, like, twice a month. 222 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,249 She's got that, uh, that bad breathing type shit. 223 00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,499 She’s gotta wear this oxygen thingy all the time. What, 224 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,166 she spends every cent on the kid? 225 00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,374 Hey, uh, what size? 226 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:53,500 13 D. 227 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:54,875 How'd you know? 228 00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,625 'Cause I'm a professional, Pete. 229 00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:03,250 And you need to get my money. 230 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,374 Shit. 231 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:19,875 Just sat down, ladies. 232 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:23,624 But I hear the corner machine is bloated and ready to pop. 233 00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:24,999 Hear from who? 234 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,249 Well, let's just say he has enough keys on his key chain 235 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,499 to open any machine in the casino. 236 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:30,749 Technicians told you that? 237 00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:32,374 Alice, why would a freaking tech wanna 238 00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:34,374 rat out his own place? Huh? 239 00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:36,999 - Suit yourselves. - You planted to play here long? 240 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,374 Until I start losing. 241 00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:41,290 - We won $600 yesterday. - Why tell him. 242 00:19:41,291 --> 00:19:42,290 I’m telling you that the 243 00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:44,374 corner machine is ready to pop. 244 00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,499 What’s it hurt? Throw five, ten dollars at it. 245 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,999 Because you have the only working 246 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,499 poker machine, that's why. 247 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,250 Ladies, I am here until I start losing. 248 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,499 - Fuck it. - 10 bucks. 249 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,499 Max. - Not a penny more. 250 00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,374 - Not a penny more. - You're right. 251 00:19:58,375 --> 00:20:01,124 - Never keep your promise. - I won't do it this time. 252 00:20:01,125 --> 00:20:03,999 - I want that machine. - He doesn't know ... 253 00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:13,749 He doesn't know. 254 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,749 No, we don't. 255 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:17,750 Why? 256 00:20:18,291 --> 00:20:19,291 See, I was supposed to. 257 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:21,750 Oh, 258 00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:26,375 Well, one down nine to go. 259 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,499 - Did you hear about Liz? - What about her? 260 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,124 Now she's working over at the human plaza. 261 00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:36,374 Now this freaking Arab sits at her table for three hours. 262 00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:40,375 Won 600 grand and tips her 50k. - Oh! 263 00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,875 I'll expect a thank you note. 264 00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:06,374 Let's see. Oh my goodness. It's my biggest win. I think. 265 00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:10,750 I know exactly. Wait, what? Hang on. 266 00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:25,749 - That is weird. - What? You're not gonna pay? 267 00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:27,915 I want a pit boss and a floor manager. 268 00:21:27,916 --> 00:21:28,624 Calm down. 269 00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:30,000 They're gonna pay. - They better pay. 270 00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:37,625 - She broke. - She broke. 271 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:49,125 Ugh. 272 00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:56,624 This machine is broke. 273 00:21:56,625 --> 00:21:58,624 There's no more play in this machine. 274 00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,999 We put a lot of good money in that machine 275 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,499 and now you're gonna stiff us. 276 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,375 I want a pit boss and a floor manager. 277 00:22:06,750 --> 00:22:10,375 - I am the boss of the pit. - This doesn't add up. 278 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:16,874 Ladies, I recognize you 279 00:22:16,875 --> 00:22:18,499 who were paying this spin. 280 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:23,499 However, this machine is down until it can be reparated. 281 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,375 So you go cash out of the cage. Capisce? 282 00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:46,874 C’mon Alice, let’s go get 283 00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:47,874 our money. 284 00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:49,874 All right. I swear. 285 00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:51,124 Congratulations, ladies. 286 00:22:51,125 --> 00:22:53,874 Yeah, thanks for the tip. You notice it's bullshit, right? 287 00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:55,624 They coming at me with all they shit talking about that. 288 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:59,249 Machine... Oh, I'm so sorry. Go ahead darling. 289 00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:00,875 Bless our heart disturb... 290 00:23:04,875 --> 00:23:06,374 What happened, machine broke? 291 00:23:06,375 --> 00:23:08,749 Yeah. It's like they knew it wasn't supposed to hit 292 00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,749 and when it did, weird. 293 00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:13,374 Well, I could tell you stories about weird in this place. 294 00:23:13,375 --> 00:23:15,124 Particularly in this room. 295 00:23:15,125 --> 00:23:16,749 - Yeah, - But then I'd have to kill you. 296 00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:18,749 You know, casino secrets. 297 00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:19,708 Hmm? 298 00:23:21,208 --> 00:23:23,749 Jimmy looked really pissed when I saw him. 299 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:26,124 Yeah, well, loan sharking will do that to a guy. 300 00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:27,874 You know he's mobbed up, right? 301 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,915 Full-time mobster, part-time shoe maker. 302 00:23:29,916 --> 00:23:30,207 Huh. 303 00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:32,249 Only in Vegas. Is it true 304 00:23:32,250 --> 00:23:34,874 he used to be the shoe guy for Wayne Newton back in the day? 305 00:23:34,875 --> 00:23:39,875 - That's what I hear. - Strange. Thanks for the drink. 306 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:41,500 Thank you. 307 00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:45,540 Hey. - Yes? 308 00:23:45,541 --> 00:23:48,249 Please be careful. You don't wanna owe these guys. 309 00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:49,875 Plus I like your face the way it is. 310 00:23:55,375 --> 00:23:55,875 Alright. 311 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:33,125 - Lucky yet? - Kinda. 312 00:24:47,125 --> 00:24:47,750 Patience. 313 00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:54,500 That's weird. 314 00:24:58,250 --> 00:25:01,500 - Hmm. Power failure? - Looks like. 315 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,999 Well, you are a very wise man. 316 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,500 - Excuse me? - You sir. 317 00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:09,874 - Huh? - You are very wise man 318 00:25:09,875 --> 00:25:11,249 to be playing at one of the best 319 00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:13,291 machines in all of Las Vegas, sir. 320 00:25:15,083 --> 00:25:17,374 This giant machine reminds me 321 00:25:17,375 --> 00:25:18,999 of great giant film. 322 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,874 You know the one from Texas? James Dean Giant. 323 00:25:22,875 --> 00:25:23,874 Well thanks. 324 00:25:23,875 --> 00:25:25,125 I like the machine. I like the movie. 325 00:25:25,875 --> 00:25:27,624 Does it say United on your shirt? 326 00:25:27,625 --> 00:25:29,499 - Yes. - You a pilot? 327 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:30,165 Senior 328 00:25:30,166 --> 00:25:31,666 737 mechanic, sir. 329 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,374 Cool. I love planes. 330 00:25:33,375 --> 00:25:35,499 Ever since I'm a kid drawn Spitfires and ME 331 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:38,249 109s since junior high. Big fan. 332 00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:40,625 I drew P 50 ones and Zeros. 333 00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:42,874 Hey, you hear about that new Airbus plane. 334 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,624 The Germans, Brits, and French all helped 335 00:25:44,625 --> 00:25:46,749 design it? It's supposed to be a great plane. 336 00:25:46,750 --> 00:25:47,749 Junk. 337 00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:49,458 If it ain't Boeing, I ain't going. 338 00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:50,374 Really? 339 00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:52,249 You can take it to the bank. 340 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:55,874 They say a camel is a horse designed by a committee, sir. 341 00:25:55,875 --> 00:25:57,124 Getting the French, the Brits, 342 00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,874 and the Germans to agree on what to serve 343 00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:00,249 for lunch is almost a war. 344 00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:03,416 Deciding an airframe. Brr, I shudder. 345 00:26:03,708 --> 00:26:05,749 - Name’s Pete. - Akash. 346 00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:07,374 - My gosh? - What? 347 00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:09,624 Nevermind. It's great to meet you, Akash. 348 00:26:09,625 --> 00:26:10,624 Here’s to nothing. 349 00:26:32,375 --> 00:26:36,749 - I love this country! - Jackpot on your first spin? 350 00:26:36,750 --> 00:26:37,874 Walk away. 351 00:26:37,875 --> 00:26:39,999 Mr. Pete, I think you were right! 352 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,499 Oh, my wife will be very happy. 353 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:42,500 I will bring this money to her. 354 00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:46,749 You might get lucky twice tonight, Akash. 355 00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:48,374 My thoughts precisely, Mr. Pete. 356 00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:49,874 Congrats. I'll help you out. 357 00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:51,874 - Wow, thank you. - Sure, sure. 358 00:26:51,875 --> 00:26:53,750 Wow, man, nice take. 359 00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:02,750 - Wow. Congrats man. - Thank you. Good luck. 360 00:27:03,625 --> 00:27:04,625 Good luck. - Yeah. 361 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:06,125 Woo. 362 00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:25,791 What's wrong with you? 363 00:28:36,375 --> 00:28:40,499 If it ain't the fricking comic. Donny. 364 00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:42,249 How was the lounge today? 365 00:28:42,250 --> 00:28:44,124 Ugh, like pulling fricking teeth. 366 00:28:44,125 --> 00:28:45,332 Two things they liked. Fly 367 00:28:45,333 --> 00:28:47,291 Fly to the Bumblebee and Louie Louie. 368 00:28:48,041 --> 00:28:49,165 See my wife? 369 00:28:49,166 --> 00:28:50,916 Not since I sat down a couple hours ago. 370 00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:53,624 Late to every goddamn thing 371 00:28:53,625 --> 00:28:55,499 every goddamn time. 372 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,124 You’re supposed to meet her here? 373 00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,749 Duh. Think 374 00:28:58,750 --> 00:29:00,124 I wanna be sitting in the lane 375 00:29:00,125 --> 00:29:02,250 no smoking sections? Gimme a break. 376 00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:04,749 You know, it's weird. The crowd that would like 377 00:29:04,750 --> 00:29:05,374 Louie Louie 378 00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:07,124 would also dig Bumble. 379 00:29:07,125 --> 00:29:09,124 But, you are a world class accordion player. 380 00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:10,749 Quarter box player. 381 00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:11,749 I told you my quarter box 382 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,457 scores more than your piece of shit Chevy. 383 00:29:13,458 --> 00:29:15,624 - Quarter box. I'm sorry. - Not an accordion. 384 00:29:15,625 --> 00:29:17,499 It could sound like a Hammond V three of Rhodes piano. 385 00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:20,165 The son of a bitch got 66 tubes in the circuit. 386 00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:21,166 I get it. 387 00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:24,749 I know, I know, I know. 388 00:29:24,750 --> 00:29:26,374 I'm a world class actor on an instrument 389 00:29:26,375 --> 00:29:27,375 nobody ever heard of. 390 00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:33,415 Ever been to Tijuana, Pete? 391 00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,499 Don, you... 392 00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,000 No, I’m serious. You ever been? 393 00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,750 Yeah. 394 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,791 Sherene took me down there a couple years ago... 395 00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:45,166 wanted to buy some Mexican blankets and pottery. 396 00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:51,499 So we come to this one place that has, uh, velvet paintings. 397 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,999 Horrible tourist shit. 398 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,375 Jesus', Elvis's, Marilyn Monroe topless shit. 399 00:29:58,625 --> 00:30:01,125 But then, out of the corner of my eye, 400 00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,500 I see this one Elvis painting just, 401 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:06,499 It was like hidden behind a bunch of junk. 402 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,375 Like it wasn't even good enough to sell. 403 00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:10,749 And the colors were subdued. 404 00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:12,250 Not all bright and touristy, 405 00:30:14,250 --> 00:30:18,250 but his face was just, it was full of paint. 406 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,874 It was like the guy who did the Mona Lisa snuck in 407 00:30:23,875 --> 00:30:25,375 and he did this one Elvis painting. 408 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,250 So I asked “How much?” 409 00:30:29,750 --> 00:30:30,750 and the guy says, 410 00:30:31,750 --> 00:30:34,583 “Not enough money in the world for that one, señor.” 411 00:30:36,750 --> 00:30:40,374 It was like, this guy did this one amazing painting just 412 00:30:40,375 --> 00:30:41,499 to show the world to himself 413 00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:43,500 that he wasn't a phony fucking hack. 414 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,790 Hey Johnny, how about the accordion... 415 00:30:51,791 --> 00:30:53,500 quarter box... 416 00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:56,250 It's gonna be hip again in a few years. 417 00:30:58,250 --> 00:31:01,624 - ‘Till then? - Piano, organ, you're good. 418 00:31:01,625 --> 00:31:02,999 Just play what's hip now, 419 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,250 and save the quarter box for tunes like Bumblebee. 420 00:31:06,250 --> 00:31:08,832 Yeah. 421 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,250 You know, you compared to Louis Prima, right? 422 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:13,249 Only your show's funnier, 423 00:31:13,250 --> 00:31:15,124 and your girls are sexier than Keely Smith 424 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,874 or that other broady, man. - They're both fricking dancers, 425 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:17,750 too. 426 00:31:18,375 --> 00:31:21,249 Legit ballet, I mean, Sherene studied ballet 427 00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:23,124 for eight fricking years. 428 00:31:23,125 --> 00:31:27,000 - You are a very lucky man. - Yeah. 429 00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:30,208 Yeah. This dumpy dago really scored, huh? 430 00:31:31,125 --> 00:31:34,207 And if you don't mind me saying, those fishnets 431 00:31:34,208 --> 00:31:36,999 and leotards, they were cut a quarter inch higher. 432 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,124 Both girls looked like their legs are six feet tall. 433 00:31:39,125 --> 00:31:40,250 Just their legs. 434 00:31:41,375 --> 00:31:42,875 I, I, I had nothing to do with it. 435 00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:46,749 The girls picked them out. But yeah, 436 00:31:46,750 --> 00:31:49,750 I call it a 10 pound feet and a 5 pound sock. 437 00:31:53,375 --> 00:31:55,624 What's up with broads? 438 00:31:55,625 --> 00:31:57,999 I just know they wanna know you're 439 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000 looking without them catching you look. 440 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,000 Why is my wife always looking for you? 441 00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:23,415 Always talking about you? - Huh? 442 00:32:23,416 --> 00:32:25,083 “Meet me in that room where Pete plays.” 443 00:32:26,375 --> 00:32:27,375 What's that all about? 444 00:32:29,125 --> 00:32:33,250 She thinks I'm funny. And like, my job is to be funny. 445 00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:38,875 I know that she's your wife, 100%, okay? 446 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,375 You seen Left Hook and Jimmy? 447 00:32:58,625 --> 00:33:01,249 Jimmy went to go get some shoes off an oriental guy. 448 00:33:01,250 --> 00:33:03,499 No Louie. Left Hook, where'd he get that name? 449 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:04,625 He used to box? 450 00:33:06,750 --> 00:33:09,625 Yeah, he had a few pro fights. 451 00:33:11,125 --> 00:33:12,375 More of a street fighter type. 452 00:33:13,750 --> 00:33:17,749 Trust me, he's, he's parked cars of The Sands, 453 00:33:17,750 --> 00:33:18,999 The Trop, The Frontier, 454 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,499 The Union Plaza, Caesars, The Nugget. Makes great tips. 455 00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:25,874 But if he's had a few in him, he goes Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 456 00:33:25,875 --> 00:33:28,750 on anybody who gives him any kind of shit. 457 00:33:30,375 --> 00:33:34,625 His weapon? Left hook. One punch. Lights out. Boom. 458 00:33:35,750 --> 00:33:37,500 Suprised he hasn't killed anybody. 459 00:33:39,208 --> 00:33:40,750 Then they fire his ass. 460 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,374 The casinos, they give the victims a few grand. 461 00:33:43,375 --> 00:33:44,749 Well, they give him a suite for a week 462 00:33:44,750 --> 00:33:46,250 and he goes to work someplace else. 463 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,125 - And they keep hiring him? - It’s called protection. 464 00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:55,499 His mom was a, was mormon royalty who was a widow 465 00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:58,999 who married his dad, a piece of shit from Chicago. 466 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,124 So the mormons and the wise guys got his back. 467 00:34:02,125 --> 00:34:04,624 Casinos suck it up. He keeps working. 468 00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:07,124 I mean, he makes enough money with a strong arm work. 469 00:34:07,125 --> 00:34:08,625 He don't need to park cars, 470 00:34:09,625 --> 00:34:11,791 but he loves the stars who come through. 471 00:34:13,750 --> 00:34:14,749 Aren't you kind of scared to 472 00:34:14,750 --> 00:34:16,624 hang out with a guy like that? 473 00:34:16,625 --> 00:34:19,374 He loves musicians. Loves Vegas. 474 00:34:19,375 --> 00:34:21,249 I mean, every time he parks the for a, 475 00:34:21,250 --> 00:34:22,999 for an actor type, 476 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,500 he gets all goo-goo gaga like a real star fucker. 477 00:34:26,375 --> 00:34:28,750 Most of the time he's a pussycat. 478 00:34:30,375 --> 00:34:34,541 But if he's at a few in him, walk the fuck away. 479 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:40,124 Either one of them shows, 480 00:34:40,125 --> 00:34:42,750 Tell ‘em I'll be at the American Express office at Caesar’s. 481 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,874 - You lose your credit card? - Nah. 482 00:34:46,875 --> 00:34:49,124 Some asshole kept yelling out play Louie Louie, 483 00:34:49,125 --> 00:34:51,665 So I played the fricking tune for 35 minutes straight. 484 00:34:52,666 --> 00:34:54,749 Guy tipped me an American Express travelers check 485 00:34:54,750 --> 00:34:56,499 for 200 bucks. 486 00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:58,874 So, I figure I better cash it in 487 00:34:58,875 --> 00:35:01,249 before he sobers up and changes his mind. 488 00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:04,125 - Did you go the dirty lyrics? - Duh. 489 00:35:05,750 --> 00:35:08,249 Hey, when my wife shows up, 490 00:35:08,250 --> 00:35:09,999 tell her her husband the cocksucker 491 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,249 who pays all the goddamn bills will be at the 492 00:35:12,250 --> 00:35:14,124 American Express office 493 00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:16,332 Caesars’, then we're gonna be at the Nugget. 494 00:35:16,333 --> 00:35:17,499 I’ll paraphrase. 495 00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:32,250 [Coins clinking} 496 00:35:44,375 --> 00:35:47,375 Ah, luck and pain. 497 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:54,250 God. 498 00:36:53,875 --> 00:36:56,500 Louis, you just missed Johnny B. 499 00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:02,499 He, he went over to the Amex at Caesar's. 500 00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,125 He said he wanted you to meet him over there. 501 00:37:05,416 --> 00:37:07,166 Shit. 502 00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:08,250 Is there a problem? 503 00:37:11,250 --> 00:37:15,624 Yeah, they fired me. Twice. 504 00:37:17,750 --> 00:37:20,582 I'm kind of persona non- 505 00:37:20,583 --> 00:37:23,375 - Grata? - Yeah, that's it. 506 00:37:28,375 --> 00:37:30,250 Saw some of your show. 507 00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:32,999 Thanks? 508 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,000 Yeah, I was watching from the wings. 509 00:37:45,875 --> 00:37:51,500 When'd you decide to do comedy? Tell stories for a living? 510 00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:56,583 - You really want to know? - Yeah. 511 00:38:01,875 --> 00:38:05,750 Well, I guess I was always kind of the class clown. 512 00:38:06,750 --> 00:38:09,708 I was kinda the class fuck up. 513 00:38:10,125 --> 00:38:13,999 Yeah, um, it, it, it came 514 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,499 to a head my freshman year of college. 515 00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,749 I had a speech class, 516 00:38:18,750 --> 00:38:20,374 but it was party time, you know, 517 00:38:20,375 --> 00:38:22,624 so frat houses were selling beer 518 00:38:22,625 --> 00:38:24,624 10 cents a giant red cup. 519 00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:26,374 That's cheap. Yeah. 520 00:38:26,375 --> 00:38:28,124 Since I had to study for chemistry 521 00:38:28,125 --> 00:38:31,374 and English, I ignored the lame speech class. 522 00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:33,249 You know, more time to party, right? 523 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:34,832 Yeah. 524 00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:38,374 Problem was, I didn't turn in a lick of homework. 525 00:38:38,375 --> 00:38:40,249 - Oh. - So I'm failing. 526 00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:42,874 But the class was set up so 527 00:38:42,875 --> 00:38:45,874 that your final speech was worth 50% of your grade. 528 00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:49,749 - Alright. - So for 50% of the class, 529 00:38:49,750 --> 00:38:54,124 if I can somehow pull off an A, then the ex cop teacher, 530 00:38:54,125 --> 00:38:56,874 has to give me a C for the class. 531 00:38:56,875 --> 00:38:59,499 - Ex-cop? - Ex LAPD. 532 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:00,999 Man. Fuck him. 533 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,708 Fuck him. Indeed. 534 00:39:02,875 --> 00:39:04,750 Problem is, 535 00:39:06,375 --> 00:39:07,874 What? 536 00:39:07,875 --> 00:39:12,499 I'm hung over. I got no speech, I have no idea 537 00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,624 what I'm gonna say in front of this class. 538 00:39:14,625 --> 00:39:16,124 I got nothing! 539 00:39:16,125 --> 00:39:17,124 You 540 00:39:17,125 --> 00:39:18,582 are so screwed. 541 00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:19,624 Bingo. 542 00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:21,874 This pimply face kid is droning on 543 00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:24,999 and on about the Maui Parrot bill going extinct. 544 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,125 He's got charts and photos, all kinds of stuff. 545 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:33,999 And then I see it. - See what? 546 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,624 On his metal trash can 547 00:39:35,625 --> 00:39:37,749 The ex LAPD has put up one 548 00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:40,874 of those fake basketball hoops. You know, like the real ones, 549 00:39:40,875 --> 00:39:43,249 but with a four or five inch holes. Kind of, you try to hit 550 00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:45,374 with a watered up piece of paper. Kind of a gag thing. 551 00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:46,874 Yeah, I've seen those. 552 00:39:46,875 --> 00:39:50,082 So parakeet boy finishes to weak applause. 553 00:39:50,083 --> 00:39:52,832 Mr. LAPD looks at me and says, 554 00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:55,457 “I guess it's your turn, Finnegan.” 555 00:39:55,458 --> 00:39:57,040 Shit. 556 00:39:57,041 --> 00:39:57,499 Yeah. 557 00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,874 On the inside I'm thinking, “run!” 558 00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:01,999 but on the outside I'm acting cocky as hell. 559 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:06,624 Mr. LAPD is smiling 'cause he knows I got nothing. 560 00:40:06,625 --> 00:40:08,624 - Oh shit. - Yeah. So I'm smiling. 561 00:40:08,625 --> 00:40:10,124 I'm shucking, I'm jiving. 562 00:40:10,125 --> 00:40:12,374 - Fake it till you make it. - Exactly. 563 00:40:12,375 --> 00:40:15,499 I, I start concocting this story about a popular new sport 564 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:18,749 sweeping the West coast called trash can hoops. 565 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:22,874 That's a great idea. That game could take off. 566 00:40:22,875 --> 00:40:26,374 It's not a real game, Louie, but it is my 15 minutes. 567 00:40:26,375 --> 00:40:29,124 So he lets me keep digging my own grave. 568 00:40:29,125 --> 00:40:31,249 I'm talking about the history of the game. 569 00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:35,124 Its origins, its roots. Complete bullshit. 570 00:40:35,125 --> 00:40:38,624 But I am noticing cute girls are laughing out loud 571 00:40:38,625 --> 00:40:40,249 and looking at me in ways that never 572 00:40:40,250 --> 00:40:41,249 happened before. 573 00:40:41,250 --> 00:40:42,999 That's what I'm talking about, Pete. 574 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,707 So I spiel for the whole 15 minutes, but 575 00:40:45,708 --> 00:40:48,749 Mr. LAPD still thinks he's got me by the balls. 576 00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:50,374 How's he got you by the balls? 577 00:40:50,375 --> 00:40:52,082 He says, and I quote, 578 00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:55,375 “Class you've just witnessed a fraud. 579 00:40:55,625 --> 00:40:57,999 A talented young man with the gift of gab, 580 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,249 but a fraud. Public speaking must be truth based. 581 00:41:02,250 --> 00:41:04,999 And those pretending to be experts must prove they're 582 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,125 bona fides and not just blow hot air.” 583 00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:12,374 - Hmm? - That's what I'm thinking. 584 00:41:12,375 --> 00:41:15,124 So I turn to the LAPD guy and I 585 00:41:15,125 --> 00:41:16,874 and proclaim, 586 00:41:16,875 --> 00:41:19,624 “Sir, every word I have just said 587 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:21,750 to you is 100% true.” 588 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,875 And he looks at me and says, “Alright Finnegan. 589 00:41:27,125 --> 00:41:28,374 You sit in your seat 590 00:41:28,375 --> 00:41:30,500 and throw a piece of paper through this hoop 591 00:41:31,375 --> 00:41:32,832 and I'll give you an A.” 592 00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:34,624 Fuck yeah. 593 00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,541 So I grab a piece of notebook paper 594 00:41:36,625 --> 00:41:38,124 I crumple it up in a ball. 595 00:41:38,125 --> 00:41:40,749 I lick it like I'm some kind of expert. 596 00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:44,375 And without looking, I lobbed this thing at the trash can and 597 00:41:45,291 --> 00:41:46,374 Swish! 598 00:41:46,375 --> 00:41:48,999 Nothing but net. Doesn't even hit the rim. 599 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,124 No fucking way. 600 00:41:50,125 --> 00:41:53,249 I thought LAPD man was gonna piss his pants. 601 00:41:53,250 --> 00:41:55,999 The class erupts. The two cutest girls in class giving 602 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:56,999 me their phone numbers. 603 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,749 Guys are high fiving me. It was unbelievable. 604 00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:01,499 You really that good at throwing paper that 605 00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:02,499 far? 606 00:42:02,500 --> 00:42:03,749 What are you talking about? 607 00:42:03,750 --> 00:42:06,249 It was a miracle. Never before or since 608 00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:07,749 have I thrown anything at anything 609 00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:09,249 and even come close to hitting it? 610 00:42:09,250 --> 00:42:12,875 No. So it was like a sign? 611 00:42:13,750 --> 00:42:15,249 A sign from God. 612 00:42:15,250 --> 00:42:16,749 Right after that I did open mic 613 00:42:16,750 --> 00:42:18,124 for the first time in my life. 614 00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:19,165 Wow. 615 00:42:21,875 --> 00:42:24,124 What a great story. 616 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:25,250 And look at you now. 617 00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:30,874 You're all right Louie. Screw anyone who says otherwise. 618 00:42:30,875 --> 00:42:31,875 Yeah. 619 00:43:12,875 --> 00:43:14,166 Huh? 620 00:43:19,375 --> 00:43:21,000 You know what I do? 621 00:43:22,458 --> 00:43:23,750 You collect. 622 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,000 Listen to me, Pete. 623 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,875 If you have plastic, max it out. 624 00:43:33,875 --> 00:43:36,500 Get a cash advance. Whatever. 625 00:43:38,375 --> 00:43:40,625 If I get the call, 626 00:43:42,666 --> 00:43:45,250 nothing personal, okay? 627 00:43:45,750 --> 00:43:46,750 I, I understand. 628 00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:57,666 If it comes to it, 629 00:43:58,166 --> 00:43:59,333 Ah... 630 00:43:59,958 --> 00:44:02,125 halfway up the forearm is the way to go. 631 00:44:05,625 --> 00:44:08,000 Put the arm a certain way on a phone book 632 00:44:10,875 --> 00:44:12,208 and it's one swift move. 633 00:44:15,750 --> 00:44:17,208 Crack. 634 00:44:18,666 --> 00:44:20,082 And you avoid all those tiny 635 00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:21,208 bones in the wrist. 636 00:44:23,250 --> 00:44:26,875 No compound fracture. Easy peasy. 637 00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:30,625 Six weeks in a cast. 638 00:44:33,625 --> 00:44:36,375 You're right-handed, right? - Yeah. 639 00:44:37,750 --> 00:44:38,875 Then I'll do the left arm. 640 00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:42,125 And that way you can still wipe your ass. 641 00:44:46,375 --> 00:44:50,375 Don't worry, I'll stay way away from your face. 642 00:44:58,375 --> 00:44:59,625 You still do your comedy. 643 00:45:00,750 --> 00:45:03,250 Just tell 'em you slipped in the shower. 644 00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:08,415 But do me a favor. 645 00:45:08,416 --> 00:45:09,875 Call in some loans. 646 00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:12,125 Max out the cards. 647 00:45:13,625 --> 00:45:16,250 I, I'm, I'm really hearing you Louie. 648 00:45:19,625 --> 00:45:23,250 If only you were an asshole. Job would be so much more fun. 649 00:45:31,875 --> 00:45:34,083 Now one more thing. You ain't 650 00:45:36,166 --> 00:45:39,375 You ain’t supposed to know none of this, okay? 651 00:45:42,625 --> 00:45:45,458 But if you pay 30, 40% of your debt, 652 00:45:46,250 --> 00:45:47,666 all collections 653 00:45:48,875 --> 00:45:49,916 stop. 654 00:45:51,375 --> 00:45:55,874 So if you owe 30k, just get 'em 12, 655 00:45:55,875 --> 00:45:59,708 13 and they leave me out of it. 656 00:46:01,875 --> 00:46:03,791 You gotta show respect. 657 00:46:05,291 --> 00:46:07,291 No smart ass bullshit. 658 00:46:09,875 --> 00:46:14,375 Just keep paying. Understood? 659 00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:16,875 Yeah. 660 00:46:48,250 --> 00:46:50,624 Major surgery, huh? - Excuse me? 661 00:46:50,625 --> 00:46:52,999 A repair. The machine. 662 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,374 - Machines. - As in plural? 663 00:46:56,375 --> 00:46:57,999 - As in weird. - Huh? 664 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,416 Huh? 665 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:03,541 Look, you, you work in the main room, right? 666 00:47:04,125 --> 00:47:05,874 Pete Finnegan, world class comedian 667 00:47:05,875 --> 00:47:09,250 for drunken Vegas degenerates, at your service. 668 00:47:25,125 --> 00:47:26,625 Well, uh. 669 00:47:27,791 --> 00:47:29,124 Oh! Do you mind? 670 00:47:29,125 --> 00:47:30,625 No, take a load off. 671 00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,625 Since you're almost an employee, I guess I can tell ya. 672 00:47:35,625 --> 00:47:39,999 - Okay. - We have anomalies. 673 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,916 - Anomalies? - In this room only. 674 00:47:43,833 --> 00:47:45,624 A few years ago we had a spike at the roulette wheels, 675 00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:46,999 some weirdness at the craps table, 676 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,332 but we figured that out. We fired the dealer. 677 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,250 Wheels back to operating normally, 678 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,499 but out of dozens of slots 679 00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:54,500 and games in this room, 680 00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:57,250 we're paying out way beyond our calculations. 681 00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:00,749 So you know when the machines are gonna hit? 682 00:48:00,750 --> 00:48:03,540 Well, we don't cheat. We don't cheat, 683 00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:05,499 but we have math PhDs in actuaries 684 00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:07,374 who can pretty much predict within a couple percent 685 00:48:07,375 --> 00:48:09,249 how each machine or game is gonna do. 686 00:48:09,250 --> 00:48:10,957 You know, over time. 687 00:48:10,958 --> 00:48:11,999 And when we get a room 688 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:16,500 or an area that overpays, it's called an anomaly. 689 00:48:17,625 --> 00:48:21,125 - I've always loved this room. - Four causes. 690 00:48:23,625 --> 00:48:24,999 Four causes? 691 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,124 Number one by large margin, cheating. Outside job. 692 00:48:28,125 --> 00:48:29,624 Trust me, you've been on camera scrutinized 693 00:48:29,625 --> 00:48:30,999 from the second you sat down. 694 00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,875 No, no, don't, don't. Do not look up. 695 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,999 What are two, three, and four? 696 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,290 Two is inside job. 697 00:48:40,291 --> 00:48:41,499 Three is machine malfunction. 698 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:45,249 And four is random/ unknown/luck. 699 00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:47,499 This is a lucky room 700 00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:49,750 - Or. - What? 701 00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:55,624 - You ever see the exorcist? - I'm not gonna puke 702 00:48:55,625 --> 00:48:56,750 pea soup, am I? 703 00:48:59,125 --> 00:49:01,749 Sometimes, something comes in, 704 00:49:01,750 --> 00:49:04,124 and for lack of a better word, takes possession of a room 705 00:49:04,125 --> 00:49:06,499 or an area, a slot, a machine. 706 00:49:06,500 --> 00:49:10,124 Even a table. There's this mobbed up casino in Quebec. 707 00:49:10,125 --> 00:49:11,749 They found one table in the poker room was 708 00:49:11,750 --> 00:49:13,624 producing off the chart wins. 709 00:49:13,625 --> 00:49:15,832 They tried every single dealer they had. 710 00:49:15,833 --> 00:49:17,625 All of them dealt winning hands to the players. 711 00:49:18,625 --> 00:49:20,249 House was just gonna close the room down, 712 00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:23,124 but the pit boss was some kind of Indian. 713 00:49:23,125 --> 00:49:25,999 He suggested getting a medicine man, burn some sage, 714 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,458 say some prayers. 715 00:49:28,291 --> 00:49:29,375 Sure enough. 716 00:49:30,166 --> 00:49:31,000 Ding, ding, ding. 717 00:49:31,750 --> 00:49:32,750 Winner winner, chicken dinner. 718 00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:35,500 That table turned into a profit center. 719 00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:40,500 Did you bring any sage? 720 00:49:42,166 --> 00:49:44,541 I'm serious. 721 00:49:47,625 --> 00:49:50,125 Oh, crap. I forgot my meter. 722 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,124 Well, I’d get while the getting's good. 723 00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:56,000 There's a real possibility we shut this room down. 724 00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,541 Oh, they don't think I'm cheating, do they? 725 00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:04,249 Well if you are, you are using mind controller ESP. 726 00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:05,874 You've been watched at this very 727 00:50:05,875 --> 00:50:07,750 for weeks. Passed every test. 728 00:50:08,625 --> 00:50:11,500 The boys actually think you're a regular non-pro player. 729 00:50:15,875 --> 00:50:18,624 I gotta go get my meter. I'll be back. 730 00:50:18,625 --> 00:50:19,499 You do that. 731 00:50:19,500 --> 00:50:20,500 I'll be here. 732 00:50:35,875 --> 00:50:36,374 Hey. 733 00:50:36,375 --> 00:50:37,541 Johnny B. show? 734 00:50:38,625 --> 00:50:39,915 Yeah. He went over to Caesar's. 735 00:50:39,916 --> 00:50:41,791 Cashed some travelers checks. 736 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,874 - Was he going somewhere? - No, 737 00:50:43,875 --> 00:50:47,499 it was a tip for playing Louie Louie for, like, 40 minutes. 738 00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:49,999 What's in the box? - Those are the 739 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,125 Testonis 740 00:50:51,250 --> 00:50:53,874 The box is nicer than any shoes I've ever owned. 741 00:50:53,875 --> 00:50:57,999 I know, right? Uh, Johnny B say he's coming back? 742 00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,874 Not sure. What are you guys up to? 743 00:50:59,875 --> 00:51:02,749 - Breakfast at the Nugget. - Best eggs in town. 744 00:51:02,750 --> 00:51:06,124 Eggs, steak and eggs. Eggs benedict. Eggs florentine. 745 00:51:06,125 --> 00:51:07,374 And the potatoes on the ragged edge 746 00:51:07,375 --> 00:51:09,124 of being burned. Not greasy at all. 747 00:51:09,125 --> 00:51:10,874 - Mm. - Best thing is they serve 748 00:51:10,875 --> 00:51:12,624 all day. - 24/7 749 00:51:12,625 --> 00:51:13,625 heaven, my friend. 750 00:51:16,500 --> 00:51:18,250 They still haven't fixed this machine? 751 00:51:19,375 --> 00:51:22,374 - - Not yet. - I think it's got some kind of anomaly. 752 00:51:22,375 --> 00:51:23,999 Shit on a shank. 753 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,374 You find a good machine, and these assholes shut it down. 754 00:51:27,375 --> 00:51:29,999 Make me so mad. Fucking with me all the time. 755 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,249 I don't understand this thing 756 00:51:31,250 --> 00:51:32,624 to leave me the fuck alone. 757 00:51:32,625 --> 00:51:34,124 Every single one of you are assholes. 758 00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:35,250 You just leave me alone. 759 00:51:36,125 --> 00:51:38,624 The fuck is wrong with the world? 760 00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:40,499 Machine's malfunction. 761 00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:41,750 No, not the machine. Her. 762 00:51:42,625 --> 00:51:44,499 There's always one that looks like she'd run into a burning 763 00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:45,999 orphanage to save a baby. 764 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000 And the other one looks like she'd eat a baby. 765 00:51:49,416 --> 00:51:50,500 I don't know. 766 00:52:02,750 --> 00:52:04,165 Hey Pete. 767 00:52:04,166 --> 00:52:04,749 Yeah. 768 00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:07,125 I got you something. Read it. 769 00:52:11,125 --> 00:52:15,750 Read it. Please. 770 00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:28,875 Oh, hello ladies. 771 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,999 - Ah. - Hey Mr. Man. 772 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:12,124 Miss money Penny. 773 00:53:12,125 --> 00:53:13,374 You seen Johnny? 774 00:53:13,375 --> 00:53:15,875 He was just here. Went to cash a check at the Amex place. 775 00:53:17,375 --> 00:53:19,750 Yuck. Shaking my ass for half an hour to Louis Lui. 776 00:53:21,625 --> 00:53:23,833 Things we do for our art, huh, Pete. 777 00:53:24,500 --> 00:53:26,874 How do you look good after three shows a day? 778 00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:29,874 Oh, jeans? 779 00:53:29,875 --> 00:53:32,000 You're right. You look good in ‘em. 780 00:53:32,250 --> 00:53:34,750 - What? - Your jeans. 781 00:53:36,125 --> 00:53:37,625 G-E-N-E-S. 782 00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:43,375 Well, your G-E-N-E-S look great in those J-E-A-N-S. 783 00:53:44,875 --> 00:53:47,249 I heard you were on fire tonight. Everybody was talking 784 00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:49,249 about a whale joke? 785 00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:53,249 Narwhal. A kind of whale with a long horn for a snout. 786 00:53:53,250 --> 00:53:54,374 Okay, let's hear it, funny man. 787 00:53:54,375 --> 00:53:55,290 - No. - No, come on. 788 00:53:55,291 --> 00:53:56,916 I love hearing your stories. 789 00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,999 Alright, penguin wakes up in the middle of the ocean. 790 00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,207 Sees he's frozen solid in a block of ice. 791 00:54:03,208 --> 00:54:04,624 Can't move an inch. 792 00:54:04,625 --> 00:54:07,374 A narwhal whale, the kind with a horn for a snout, 793 00:54:07,375 --> 00:54:10,457 swims up to him. Penguin says, “Please Mr. Narwhal 794 00:54:10,458 --> 00:54:12,499 Narwhal, can you break the ice?” 795 00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:16,500 The Narwhal looks at him and goes, “You got any hobbies?” 796 00:54:22,625 --> 00:54:24,457 - That's it? - It got you smiling. 797 00:54:24,458 --> 00:54:25,999 Oh, okay. Yes. Fine. 798 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,625 You got me smiling, Pete. 799 00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:31,499 You know, I was reading in Cosmo last month. They did a survey, 800 00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:34,374 and they asked women what are the sexiest things 801 00:54:34,375 --> 00:54:36,374 that a man can do for a girl. 802 00:54:36,375 --> 00:54:37,499 Diamonds, new Mercedes. 803 00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:41,499 Those don't hurt, but, and I quote, “he makes me laugh,” 804 00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,625 Was way up there on the list. 805 00:54:44,625 --> 00:54:45,583 You make me laugh. 806 00:54:49,500 --> 00:54:49,875 A lot. 807 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,541 Can you keep a secret? 808 00:55:01,291 --> 00:55:02,666 Sure. 809 00:55:05,375 --> 00:55:06,500 When this contract is up, 810 00:55:09,500 --> 00:55:10,750 we're moving to California. 811 00:55:14,625 --> 00:55:16,040 Johnny and I are gonna open up a music 812 00:55:16,041 --> 00:55:17,165 store and a dance studio. 813 00:55:17,166 --> 00:55:19,457 He's gonna run the music side. 814 00:55:19,458 --> 00:55:20,958 I'm gonna run the dance studio. 815 00:55:23,125 --> 00:55:25,374 Sounds great. Expensive. 816 00:55:25,375 --> 00:55:26,750 My dad's gonna partner with us. 817 00:55:27,875 --> 00:55:30,249 - Cool. - He owns eight trailer parks 818 00:55:30,250 --> 00:55:32,749 in and around Vegas. 819 00:55:32,750 --> 00:55:37,750 Wow. Your dad is the trailer park king of vegas. Go figure. 820 00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:48,750 So what are you gonna do, Pete? Huh? 821 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,375 This town is ... 822 00:55:56,833 --> 00:55:57,875 Sick. 823 00:56:00,375 --> 00:56:01,999 If it isn't the drinking, or the drugs, 824 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,249 or the phoning hyped up sex. 825 00:56:03,250 --> 00:56:05,582 It's the bullshit. 826 00:56:05,583 --> 00:56:08,749 Sure, there's some nice people, and some are even normal, 827 00:56:08,750 --> 00:56:12,750 but so many are living in a pipe dream that if they 828 00:56:14,375 --> 00:56:18,749 play a certain machine or hum a certain tune 829 00:56:18,750 --> 00:56:19,875 before they make a bet, 830 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,791 their lives will miraculously change overnight. 831 00:56:30,375 --> 00:56:33,374 You mean the kind of guy that has black coins, 832 00:56:33,375 --> 00:56:35,750 oils all over his hands and neck? 833 00:56:37,125 --> 00:56:38,749 Tells himself he's just too wound up 834 00:56:38,750 --> 00:56:39,999 after the show to go home. 835 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,333 So he plays through the night every night, 836 00:56:43,750 --> 00:56:46,124 wiping away the stains, praying they don't stick. 837 00:56:46,125 --> 00:56:48,750 Swearing up and down that tonight will be different. 838 00:56:50,125 --> 00:56:54,375 You mean that guy who doesn't have a gambling problem? 839 00:57:02,625 --> 00:57:04,583 You gonna come visit me? 840 00:57:06,250 --> 00:57:08,000 Yeah. You gonna tell me where? 841 00:57:09,625 --> 00:57:10,750 I'm looking at Orange County? 842 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,749 You know I just wanna raise a couple kids in a cookie 843 00:57:15,750 --> 00:57:20,916 cutter suburb, and grow some roses, and join the PTA. 844 00:57:22,875 --> 00:57:24,125 I can't wait to visit you. 845 00:57:45,875 --> 00:57:47,625 This could have worked out differently, you know. 846 00:57:54,250 --> 00:57:57,000 Go to the suburbs, have kids, 847 00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:00,000 grow your roses. 848 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,500 Get outta here before I change my mind. 849 00:59:09,208 --> 00:59:10,250 I think that's the guy. 850 00:59:13,125 --> 00:59:14,999 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 851 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:15,999 You're the comic. 852 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,749 - Yeah. - Yeah, hey, 853 00:59:17,750 --> 00:59:19,624 we were the two guys heckling you earlier. 854 00:59:19,625 --> 00:59:21,165 We were helping you out. 855 00:59:21,166 --> 00:59:22,666 - Thank you. - Helping your set out. 856 00:59:22,750 --> 00:59:23,999 Yeah. Hey, 857 00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:24,957 tell us a joke. 858 00:59:24,958 --> 00:59:27,291 Listen guys, I, I gotta run. I gotta get back in. 859 00:59:27,416 --> 00:59:27,749 Come on. 860 00:59:27,750 --> 00:59:30,124 Don't. Don't be a dick. - Well, they're waiting on me. 861 00:59:30,125 --> 00:59:31,749 - No, no. - One joke. 862 00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:34,749 - Don't be like that. - Alright. Guy’s walking down 863 00:59:34,750 --> 00:59:36,124 the beach. Finds a genie lamp. 864 00:59:36,125 --> 00:59:37,749 Rubs the lamp. Genie pops out. 865 00:59:37,750 --> 00:59:39,499 Say’s, “I’ll grant you two wishes.” 866 00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:41,624 Guy says, “Well I thought it was three?” 867 00:59:41,625 --> 00:59:43,624 He says, “Look in your pants.” Guy looks in his pants. 868 00:59:43,625 --> 00:59:46,499 He's got a huge shlong. The guy looks up at the genie. 869 00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:48,583 Genie goes, “I've been doing this a while.” 870 00:59:54,375 --> 00:59:56,624 That's good. That's fucking funny. 871 00:59:56,625 --> 00:59:57,749 The first one’s always the dick 872 00:59:57,750 --> 00:59:58,749 That's a fucking funny. 873 00:59:58,750 --> 01:00:01,249 My man. It's funny. 874 01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:01,875 This way. 875 01:00:02,750 --> 01:00:06,750 Okay, have a great night. Assholes. 876 01:00:58,250 --> 01:01:01,500 - Did you win big yet? - Not big, but I am winning. 877 01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:04,624 - You will. - Win big. 878 01:01:04,625 --> 01:01:07,625 - Yes. - How was the steak and eggs? 879 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,874 The line was too long. 880 01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:12,500 Damn, I know a guy. Could have got you a table. 881 01:01:13,625 --> 01:01:16,250 It's okay. I eat here. The employee table. 882 01:01:17,250 --> 01:01:18,375 The rolls are stale. 883 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,000 You know, that jewelry is amazing. 884 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,624 And the stone's almost hypnotic. 885 01:01:25,625 --> 01:01:28,499 It belonged to my great-great-grandfather Jack. 886 01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:30,124 And the colors. 887 01:01:30,125 --> 01:01:31,875 - He was a prophet. - Cool. 888 01:01:32,875 --> 01:01:33,875 A real prophet. 889 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,125 My great-grandfather was a drunk. A real drunk. 890 01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:45,374 Where this casino is was where my people got their water 891 01:01:45,375 --> 01:01:46,625 for thousands of years. 892 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,500 An oasis in the desert? 893 01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:55,249 No water for miles and miles, but plenty water here. 894 01:01:55,250 --> 01:01:57,624 Then the white men came and moved the people out. 895 01:01:57,625 --> 01:02:00,083 That sucks. Sorry. 896 01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:04,874 It's not your fault. You didn't steal the water. 897 01:02:04,875 --> 01:02:08,250 I know, but sorry anyways. 898 01:02:09,875 --> 01:02:14,124 If you win big tonight, you have to leave this place. 899 01:02:14,125 --> 01:02:15,875 Then you must give all the money away. 900 01:02:16,750 --> 01:02:18,374 If you keep any of the money, you will think 901 01:02:18,375 --> 01:02:20,000 that you are the reason why you won. 902 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,124 And you had nothing to do with it. 903 01:02:23,125 --> 01:02:26,374 The great spirit allowed you to win to teach you to give. 904 01:02:26,375 --> 01:02:29,749 So you must leave. Do not be here when the sun rises. 905 01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:31,624 The great spirit is active and out of my hands. 906 01:02:31,625 --> 01:02:33,375 I cannot change it or stop it. 907 01:02:34,750 --> 01:02:37,916 And I sense the great spirit will send a powerful message. 908 01:02:39,166 --> 01:02:40,624 Remember, if you 909 01:02:40,625 --> 01:02:43,249 win big tonight it is to teach you to give. 910 01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:45,958 The only way to clense your soul is to give away every penny. 911 01:03:10,708 --> 01:03:11,791 Goodbye Pete. 912 01:03:19,375 --> 01:03:23,124 - Still at it, killer? - That was spooky. 913 01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:25,624 What? The power failure, or the Indian woman? 914 01:03:25,625 --> 01:03:28,999 - Both. - Yeah. She has 915 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:29,707 Nobility. 916 01:03:29,708 --> 01:03:33,333 - Nobility. That's it. - She said I'm gonna win big. 917 01:03:33,625 --> 01:03:34,749 Well from her lips- 918 01:03:34,750 --> 01:03:38,249 To the great spirits ears, you just wound up as I am? 919 01:03:38,250 --> 01:03:38,874 Oof. 920 01:03:38,875 --> 01:03:40,999 Well, my legs are tired. My feet are dead. 921 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,874 But my mind, I couldn't sleep now if I tried. 922 01:03:44,875 --> 01:03:46,624 How's steak and eggs sound? 923 01:03:46,625 --> 01:03:47,958 - The Nugget? - Course! 924 01:03:48,875 --> 01:03:50,624 Well, I'm not walking. 925 01:03:50,625 --> 01:03:51,499 Cabs on me. 926 01:03:51,500 --> 01:03:52,457 - That'll work. - Alright, 927 01:03:52,458 --> 01:03:53,458 lemme play a few more hands, 928 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:55,375 we'll cash out, and then we'll wind down at The Nugget. 929 01:03:57,125 --> 01:03:59,749 Well hurry up and lose 'cause you got me hungry. 930 01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:07,749 Ah. 931 01:04:07,750 --> 01:04:09,166 Oh my god. 932 01:04:11,166 --> 01:04:11,999 That's the progressive. 933 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:18,125 That's the progressive! 934 01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:23,749 I can't believe this. She, she. She said it. 935 01:04:23,750 --> 01:04:26,750 She said it was gonna happen. 936 01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:33,625 Gotta be shitting me. 937 01:04:36,500 --> 01:04:40,875 You. You just won a $15,000 progressive. 938 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,999 Now we don't have enough coins to cover this, 939 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:45,999 okay? 940 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,999 So what do you want? You want chips? 941 01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,499 You want a check? 942 01:04:50,500 --> 01:04:51,999 - Uh... - Chips. 943 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:55,291 Take the 15 $1000 chips. - Yes. 15 big chips. 944 01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:58,166 15 big chips. 945 01:04:59,250 --> 01:05:02,874 As of right now, at this chronological moment in time, 946 01:05:02,875 --> 01:05:06,249 this room is officially shut down permanently 947 01:05:06,250 --> 01:05:08,666 until further notice. Please leave. 948 01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,874 You're gonna meet me in the cage. Okay? 949 01:05:16,875 --> 01:05:18,374 You got lots of paperwork to fill out 950 01:05:18,375 --> 01:05:19,749 that's predominantly tax info. 951 01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:21,749 Now, if you have any coins on you whatsoever from this 952 01:05:21,750 --> 01:05:22,624 machine, you return 'em right 953 01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:24,874 now, or your chips will be reduced. Do you understand that? 954 01:05:24,875 --> 01:05:26,124 - I do. - Get outta here. 955 01:05:26,125 --> 01:05:28,124 Okay. I'll meet you the cage in 10 minutes. 956 01:05:28,125 --> 01:05:29,374 I gotta pay like my source. 957 01:05:29,375 --> 01:05:30,832 Then we'll go to, we'll go to the Nugget. 958 01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:31,708 Yes, yes, yes. 959 01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:41,875 What a lucky son of a bitch. 960 01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:48,250 Okay, get all the coins, then, tape it off. The whole room. 961 01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:06,999 Well, I still can't believe you hit the 962 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,749 progressive. I know, right? One shot. 963 01:06:08,750 --> 01:06:10,082 Thank you. 964 01:06:10,083 --> 01:06:12,374 Oh, you are definitely not sleeping. 965 01:06:12,375 --> 01:06:14,374 How are you drinking all that coffee? 966 01:06:14,375 --> 01:06:15,374 Pavlov's dog. 967 01:06:15,375 --> 01:06:17,916 You show me breakfast, and my brain goes coffee. 968 01:06:18,250 --> 01:06:19,540 I'll go home, watch some re-runs 969 01:06:19,541 --> 01:06:21,916 of Gunsmoke. In two hours, I'll be snoring like a baby. 970 01:06:23,250 --> 01:06:25,499 - Remember that race horse? - Huh? 971 01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:27,624 Oh, come on. The one you had to pee like. 972 01:06:27,625 --> 01:06:29,540 - Yeah. - Well, now it's my turn. 973 01:06:30,458 --> 01:06:31,749 Watch my purse. - Okay. 974 01:06:31,750 --> 01:06:32,750 I got you. 975 01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:41,208 You know that cocktail waitress, Jenny? 976 01:06:42,125 --> 01:06:44,332 I hear her kid's got that, that bad breathing type shit. 977 01:06:44,333 --> 01:06:46,375 Gotta wear this oxygen thingy all the time. 978 01:06:46,458 --> 01:06:48,208 What? She's in the emergency room like twice a month? 979 01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:54,207 Remember, the only way to cleanse your soul is 980 01:06:54,208 --> 01:06:56,000 to give away every penny. 981 01:07:35,750 --> 01:07:37,999 Oh my god, Pete, there's a fire at the MGM Grand. 982 01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:38,707 What? 983 01:07:38,708 --> 01:07:40,958 I don't know. They were saying people are trapped. 984 01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:43,499 Oh shit. 985 01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:46,624 Oh my God. I was just there. 986 01:07:51,750 --> 01:07:52,999 I gotta, I gotta get Jasmine. 987 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:54,375 We gotta go. I gotta go. - Okay, okay. 988 01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:07,083 Taxi. 989 01:08:08,041 --> 01:08:09,375 Taxi! 990 01:08:10,666 --> 01:08:12,000 Taxi! 991 01:08:12,666 --> 01:08:14,416 Here, let’s try down here. 992 01:08:24,125 --> 01:08:26,666 Hey, I already got a customer, get another cab. 993 01:08:57,333 --> 01:08:58,249 Are you not coming? 994 01:08:58,250 --> 01:09:00,415 I'm on the other side of town. I'll grab the next cab. 995 01:09:00,416 --> 01:09:02,832 Hey, get her home fast and safe. 996 01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:03,624 I'll call you. - Okay. 997 01:09:03,625 --> 01:09:04,874 Okay. Okay. Okay. 998 01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:05,999 - Go. Go get a cab. - I'm going 999 01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:07,125 - Get home safe. - I’m going. 1000 01:09:54,041 --> 01:09:54,874 Jimmy. 1001 01:09:54,875 --> 01:09:57,499 Pete, congrats. I heard you hit the jackpot. 1002 01:09:57,500 --> 01:09:59,458 I believe you have something for me. 1003 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,083 Where’s Louie? 1004 01:10:05,666 --> 01:10:07,832 I didn't think I needed to bring Louie, 1005 01:10:07,833 --> 01:10:12,041 because you're here to get even, right Pete? 1006 01:10:12,375 --> 01:10:13,750 Tell me you're here to get even. 1007 01:10:17,625 --> 01:10:19,375 Actually, Jimmy I’m not. 1008 01:10:21,083 --> 01:10:22,416 It's gone. 1009 01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,500 Well that's a fucking shame, Pete. 1010 01:10:29,625 --> 01:10:31,500 I know. 1011 01:10:40,750 --> 01:10:42,833 Now I gotta do what I don't want to. 1012 01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:54,000 Get in. 1013 01:16:56,250 --> 01:16:58,125 Most warriors. 1014 01:16:58,250 --> 01:16:59,250 Ancient. 1015 01:16:59,625 --> 01:17:00,625 Ancient rituals. 1016 01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:03,582 The natural wonders. The boom from the thunder. 1017 01:17:03,583 --> 01:17:08,040 I keep it one hundred. I am all the numbers. 1018 01:17:08,041 --> 01:17:10,957 I am all the numbers. 1019 01:17:10,958 --> 01:17:13,290 The natural wonders. The boom from the thunder. 1020 01:17:13,291 --> 01:17:17,249 I keep it one hundred. I am all the numbers. 1021 01:17:17,250 --> 01:17:19,249 I am all the numbers. 1022 01:17:19,250 --> 01:17:22,999 Ancient. Ancient rituals. They keep trying to bury us. 1023 01:17:23,000 --> 01:17:26,249 They didn't know that we are seethes. 1024 01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:29,874 We'd rather die standing than live the rest of our lives 1025 01:17:29,875 --> 01:17:33,749 on our knees. They said that we can't ride the storm. 1026 01:17:33,750 --> 01:17:36,374 We clap back with “We are the storm” 1027 01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:38,624 We people seek out revenge. 1028 01:17:38,625 --> 01:17:41,124 We can endure more than we think we can. 1029 01:17:41,125 --> 01:17:42,999 I am my own muse. 1030 01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:47,499 The subject that I know the best. Yep. Nothing is absolute. 1031 01:17:47,500 --> 01:17:50,375 Everything changes. The subject I want to know better. 1032 01:17:50,916 --> 01:17:54,749 I'm my own muse. The subject that I know the best. 1033 01:17:54,750 --> 01:17:57,374 That I know the best. Nothing is absolute. 1034 01:17:57,375 --> 01:18:00,249 Everything changes. The subject I want to know better. 1035 01:18:00,250 --> 01:18:02,249 I'm going to be honest. I'm gonna stay on it. 1036 01:18:02,250 --> 01:18:06,374 Tapped in like a bossa super like the sonics. Derive from me 1037 01:18:06,375 --> 01:18:08,874 to find the logic while staying on top 1038 01:18:08,875 --> 01:18:11,374 Can nobody stop it? I'm gonna be honest. 1039 01:18:11,375 --> 01:18:12,499 Gonna stay on it. 1040 01:18:12,500 --> 01:18:16,207 Tapped in like a bossa super like the sonics. Derive from me 1041 01:18:16,208 --> 01:18:18,499 to find the logic while staying on top. 1042 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:19,625 Can nobody stop it? 1043 01:18:24,750 --> 01:18:25,750 Most warriors. 1044 01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:29,874 Ancient. Ancient rituals. 1045 01:18:29,875 --> 01:18:32,374 The natural wonders. The boom from the thunder. 1046 01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:36,832 I keep it one hundred. I am all the numbers. 1047 01:18:36,833 --> 01:18:39,749 I am all the numbers. 1048 01:18:39,750 --> 01:18:42,082 The natural wonders. The boom from the thunder. 1049 01:18:42,083 --> 01:18:46,040 I keep it one hundred. I am all the numbers. 1050 01:18:46,041 --> 01:18:48,040 I am all the numbers. 1051 01:18:48,041 --> 01:18:50,124 Ancient. Ancient rituals. 1052 01:18:50,125 --> 01:18:51,707 Indigenous. Infamous. 1053 01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:52,749 Relentless sentiments. 1054 01:18:52,750 --> 01:18:55,124 Arguments to keep us down are so meaningless 1055 01:18:55,125 --> 01:18:56,499 but serious consequence. 1056 01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:58,624 Burning my documents. Eagles that fly, 1057 01:18:58,625 --> 01:19:01,499 they can see all the pestilence. Culture not negligence. 1058 01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:04,249 Open the eyes of the sun watching down on us. 1059 01:19:04,250 --> 01:19:06,374 Ancestors keep pushing the sound through us. 1060 01:19:06,375 --> 01:19:08,749 Influence from those who sense us surrounding us. 1061 01:19:08,750 --> 01:19:09,790 If I shut my mouth, 1062 01:19:09,791 --> 01:19:12,874 Vibrations astounding us. My tribe is infinite. 1063 01:19:12,875 --> 01:19:14,624 Be hounding us. Come to the drum 1064 01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:17,249 Don't be scared when they're founding us. In the jungle, 1065 01:19:17,250 --> 01:19:18,457 when I walk, I don’t stumble. 1066 01:19:18,458 --> 01:19:20,999 Volcanoes to rumble. Would die than be humble. 1067 01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,374 The beat of tradition that feelings succumb to 1068 01:19:23,375 --> 01:19:24,624 and we never ran from 1069 01:19:24,625 --> 01:19:25,875 what it is that we run to. 1070 01:19:27,125 --> 01:19:28,874 My hands in the dirt. 1071 01:19:28,875 --> 01:19:30,124 My tribe is my power. 1072 01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:33,165 The wicked devoured all the days in the hour spit versus 1073 01:19:33,166 --> 01:19:35,124 to flowers. Not for the cowards. 1074 01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:37,499 They watch from the towers. The sweet and the sour. 1075 01:19:37,500 --> 01:19:38,875 This land of the nawa. 1076 01:19:47,625 --> 01:19:48,665 Rituals 1077 01:19:48,666 --> 01:19:51,124 The natural wonders. the boom from the thunder. 1078 01:19:51,125 --> 01:19:53,750 I keep it one hundred. I am all the numbers 1079 01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:58,499 I am all the numbers. I am all the numbers. 1080 01:19:58,500 --> 01:20:00,915 The natural wonders. The boom from the thunder. 1081 01:20:00,916 --> 01:20:04,749 I keep it one hundred. I am all the numbers. 1082 01:20:04,750 --> 01:20:06,665 I am all the numbers. 1083 01:20:06,666 --> 01:20:08,625 Ancient, ancient rituals.