1 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:07,136 What's that? 2 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,051 A life needs saving? 3 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,618 Well, it's a good thing I just had 4 00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:14,056 a nap in our comfy, cozy on-call room. 5 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,057 Boom! 6 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,800 Our doctors must be well-rested. 7 00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:21,759 Working tired is the same as working drunk. 8 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,240 Although, from a liability standpoint, 9 00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,068 tired is better than drunk. 10 00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:29,593 But-- oh, this room has a humidifier. 11 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,638 Oh, Jesus! 12 00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:33,075 Shut the door! 13 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:36,470 They look well-rested. 14 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,862 So... - Oh, my God. 15 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,255 - Are they out there? - Yeah, all of them. 16 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,300 The whole camera crew is out there. 17 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,344 - What? - Even the sound guy. 18 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:42,345 - Oh. - What's his name? 19 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,303 What is his name? 20 00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:01,364 This morning, unfortunately, I found 21 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:04,193 two colleagues misusing one of on-call rooms 22 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:06,717 in a sensual manner, 23 00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,284 and it doesn't matter who it is. 24 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:09,981 Oh, man. Who could it have been? 25 00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,548 - Lacy and Paul? - Nope, wasn't them. 26 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,550 No, I think she's back with Dr. Richards in Neuro. 27 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,117 Are you serious? They're together? 28 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,076 Man, ever since that guy got hair plugs, 29 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,512 he has been unstoppable. 30 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,557 Oh, that whole department's blowing up. 31 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,733 Dr. Sullivan just got veneers. - Wait, really? 32 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,822 Is there a-- is there a text chain I'm not on? 33 00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:26,476 I heard someone saw Stephanie sneaking out 34 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,174 of the on-call room before her shift. 35 00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:30,089 - Where did you hear that? - Hector. 36 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,308 - Oh, bro! - I'm sorry, man. 37 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:35,181 You said that was a secret. I-- come on, Matt. 38 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,139 Things change when you're in charge. 39 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,402 You are out of the loop. 40 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,274 People don't want to confide in you, 41 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:42,710 even though you're a very regular, 42 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,407 very cool person. 43 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,496 But, boy, when I was just a doctor, 44 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:49,064 I was a walking "Page Six." 45 00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:52,154 Who has a pill problem? Oh, Mary. 46 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,938 Who lost custody of her kids? 47 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:55,463 Also Mary. 48 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,163 Yeah, yeah, Mary had a lot of problems. 49 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,382 You know, all this hanky-panky, 50 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,905 it might have been OK in the past, 51 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:07,996 but times have changed. No more sex at work. 52 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,694 Come on! How is there a question? 53 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,609 Yeah, I hate to side with Joyce here, 54 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,611 but are people really that desperate to do it 55 00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,614 in the same room they go to watch their grandpas die? 56 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:18,702 Seriously. 57 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,617 Like, even if we weren't at work, 58 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,793 who's having midday sex anyway? 59 00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,491 Like, that is not a thing 60 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,057 when you're married with small children. 61 00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:29,496 Trust me, you barely have time for a nighttime sex. 62 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:30,801 Oof. 63 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,455 Can we please go back to guessing who hooked up 64 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:35,066 instead of doing these sad lady stand-up bits? 65 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,590 No, wait, I'm not-- I'm not-- 66 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,722 Alex, Alex, you don't have to justify 67 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,289 your troubled marriage to anybody. 68 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,508 I'm not saying that. 69 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,292 I'm saying that when you're married, 70 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,294 sometimes it's hard to schedule sex, and so-- 71 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:48,297 Babe, we're just gonna leave it there, OK? 72 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,125 OK, fine, the jig is up. 73 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:55,261 It was me and Dr. Taylor in the on-call room with the-- 74 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,914 well, you know what I used. - Oh. 75 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,916 Ugh. 76 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,440 Oh, hey, guys. 77 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,703 Um, I feel like I want to clarify that thing from earlier 78 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,008 because it felt like you guys thought that was, like, 79 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,227 sad or something. 80 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,837 Do you want us to say it wasn't sad? 81 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:09,666 - We'll say whatever you want. - No. 82 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,668 No, I'm just saying, you know, when I said that 83 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,540 I have to schedule sex, I didn't mean it like, 84 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,324 you know, oh, let me get my planner out, 85 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,152 and I'll just pencil you in. 86 00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:19,415 You know, I mean, sometimes I do 87 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,112 have to do that, though, because our calendar 88 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,505 will fill up really quickly, 89 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,767 and then months will go by. 90 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:24,812 It's been months since 91 00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:25,987 you've done it with your husband? 92 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,771 I don't know the exact date, Serena. 93 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,382 Do you need to check the planner? 94 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,646 It's been three months, OK? 95 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,692 Oh, come on. That is not that bad. 96 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,520 Three months is, like, 100 days. 97 00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,218 If you haven't worked out in 100 days, 98 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,697 you wouldn't say, "I work out." 99 00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:43,178 You'd say, "I used to work out." 100 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,919 Just like you used to have sex. 101 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,313 OK, but it's not like we don't want to. 102 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:50,359 It's just, with kid stuff and house stuff and my promotion, 103 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,361 it's really hard. Ron! Ron! 104 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,450 OK, you were married. 105 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:56,060 Will you please tell them that sometimes 106 00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,889 intimacy takes a back seat, and that is completely normal? 107 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,326 Oh, absolutely. 108 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,241 After a few years, you have kids. 109 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,330 It just ebbs and flows. - See? Yeah. 110 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,027 And that is just called being married. 111 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:09,073 Well, well, we technically are no longer married. 112 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,858 I guess it just kept on ebbing. 113 00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,164 And now she's on a ski trip with a guy named Kent, 114 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,863 so I may not be the best person to talk to this about. 115 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,778 OK, thank-- thank you. Thank you so much. 116 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:20,563 That's good. You know what? 117 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,610 That-- that is not gonna happen to us, OK? 118 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,873 And we are not gonna hit 100 days, all right? 119 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:29,833 I am going to have a talk... 120 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:33,228 With him today. 121 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,709 Yeah. 122 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,103 I can't imagine going that long. 123 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,670 I have sex once a week. 124 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:42,977 I tell folks I'm going to Wendy's for lunch, 125 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:45,675 but I'm really meeting up with my ex, Shelly, at her condo. 126 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:48,504 It's the same Wendy's bag every time, 127 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:50,072 and no one can tell the difference. 128 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,596 Shelly is pretty toxic, though. 129 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,642 Oof. Tuesdays, huh? 130 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:56,904 Mm-hmm. 131 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,646 The old second-in-command to Monday. 132 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,648 Well, I guess you could say that. 133 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,912 Nobody else does, but sure. 134 00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:08,655 It's just been such a wild week already. 135 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,266 You know, hookups, affairs, hair plugs. 136 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,789 Ugh. 137 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,965 Did you know about all this before the meeting? 138 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,227 Pretty much. 139 00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,794 Can hardly get any work done without somebody 140 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:21,363 coming over to talk about something stupid. 141 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,322 Not unlike now. - Right. 142 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:27,369 So people are including you on their little group chats. 143 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,198 That's nice. That's nice for you. 144 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,635 - Are you jealous? - No. 145 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,290 I'm concerned about gossip in general. 146 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,118 It's bad for morale. - Right. 147 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:39,642 When you gossip, you hurt three people. 148 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,470 You hurt yourself, you hurt the person 149 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,124 you're gossiping about, 150 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,605 and you hurt the person who doesn't get to hear the gossip 151 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,824 by making them feel left out. 152 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,653 You know, you could force everyone to tell you 153 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,177 all of their secrets. You're the boss. 154 00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:55,702 What? 155 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,573 Well, how would that even-- no, come on. 156 00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:00,228 Come on. How? 157 00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:03,884 How would I do that? 158 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:04,972 Hey, sweetie. 159 00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,626 Um, I was thinking that maybe later, 160 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:10,369 you and I could have some private time, you know? 161 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,459 Like, naked private time. 162 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,679 Yes, Tim, like sex. 163 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,333 Oh, right, I forgot about poker night. 164 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:21,684 Um, OK, well, you know, tomorrow-- 165 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,382 tomorrow is totally booked, too, isn't it? 166 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,687 OK, you know what? 167 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,735 Just meet me here at 2:00, OK? 168 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,782 Yeah, still about the sex. 169 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,264 Hey, team? 170 00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,179 Team, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier 171 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,964 when I was all, "Ah, you can't do sex stuff at work. 172 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,749 I'm a mean old hag." 173 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,881 Well, that is what you said and, frankly, how you said it. 174 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,666 Look, things happen, 175 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:50,191 but I do not need to know who's doing what with whom. 176 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:53,455 That is not my business, but it is very thorny legally. 177 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:57,154 so HR insists that all of you fill out 178 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,287 one of these mutual consent forms. 179 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:02,203 Ah, yes, how every passionate encounter begins, 180 00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:03,987 with a form. 181 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,641 Well, that's HR for you. 182 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,513 Damn you, 183 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,819 No, that was important. It had to happen. 184 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,517 It really did. 185 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,823 Well, I don't know if you realize this, Joyce, 186 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,477 but this would mean that you would end up knowing 187 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,479 everyone's personal, private details. 188 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,090 No, not me. The system. 189 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,484 The system would know the details. 190 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:25,487 I'm just a vessel for the system. 191 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,707 So we should return these to HR? 192 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,230 Uh, no. 193 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:32,799 You can return them to, uh, to me. 194 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,497 Yeah, me first, and then I'll-- I'll deal with them. 195 00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:38,718 Legalese and liability, that's all these are for. 196 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:41,242 Will I then be informed of all the relationships 197 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,592 and goings-on? Yes. 198 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:47,248 Is it my job to know? Kind of, yes. 199 00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:51,079 Is it required by HR that I do this? 200 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,003 Girl, where is the fire? 201 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:06,180 Mm, well, I'm sneaking my lunch now, 202 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,182 and then later, Tim's gonna pick me up. 203 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,444 I'll have my full hour. 204 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,011 We're gonna go to the Courtyard by Marriott 205 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:14,928 and, you know, talk. - Oh, look at you. 206 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,669 - Yeah. - I'm so proud. 207 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,148 That's how I do it. 208 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,107 Also, the hotel's only, like, 12 minutes away. 209 00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,717 So 12 there, 12 back. 210 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:25,112 That leaves 36 minutes for the discussion and, you know, 211 00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,418 general cleanup. - OK. 212 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,551 First, wow. - Mm. 213 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,684 Second, maybe let me throw some paint on that face 214 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,076 and we change your scrubs. 215 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:35,078 I don't think Tim's gonna care, honestly. 216 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,297 I mean, he sees me in sweatpants 217 00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:38,125 most of the time, anyway. 218 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,518 Oh, wow, I can tell by your face 219 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,171 that's maybe part of the problem. 220 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,826 You gotta keep it spicy. Seduce him a little. 221 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:47,134 You can't just be like, "Hey, bro, wanna 222 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,789 in 12 minutes?" - What? No. 223 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,226 Oh! - See? 224 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,968 Too aggro. Not cute. 225 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,753 I said no because that was just like, obviously, a joke, 226 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,929 or like a prank of sorts. 227 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:05,195 That's not-- that's not how people suggest sex. 228 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:10,331 Maybe on websites. But, you know, we are IRL, so-- 229 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,811 sorry, what was the question? 230 00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:15,597 Well, it kills spontaneity. I'll tell you that much. 231 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,599 Dear God, please be talking to someone else. 232 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,602 These sex clearance forms that Herr Commandant Joyce 233 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,517 wants us to fill out, they're ridiculous. 234 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:25,041 I mean, without random hookups, what's the point 235 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,130 of all those boozy fundraisers we do? 236 00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,479 I don't know. 237 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,307 Maybe raising money for muscular dystrophy? 238 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,179 Oh, come on, Ron. Grow up. 239 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,703 Look, in my many run-ins with Eros, 240 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:37,576 I've found that carnal love comes on fast. 241 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,664 Oh, yeah. 242 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,013 And you never know who's gonna spark 243 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,667 with who and when and how. 244 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,843 You know, I just noticed that nurse, 245 00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:45,758 Callie, has a crazy lisp, 246 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,847 and now I can't get her out of my mind. 247 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,457 Well, here's a thought. 248 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:53,069 Maybe have everybody fill out a form about everybody else. 249 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,984 Then you got all your bases covered. 250 00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,420 Huh. 251 00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,206 You're talking about preclearing the hookups. 252 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:02,209 Oh, Ronnie, you crazy son of a bitch. 253 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,037 You've just cracked this thing wide open. 254 00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,301 People here trust me. 255 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:10,347 They feel they can come to me for advice, support, 256 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,132 guidance, you name it. 257 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,395 I just don't know where they got that idea. 258 00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,310 So with my AAA discount, on top of 259 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:19,400 my Wells Fargo points, the room is basically free. 260 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,881 I mean, if that doesn't get you guys in the mood. 261 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,100 - Yeah. - There. 262 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,536 What do you think? - Oh, wow. 263 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,321 I really like this lipstick color. 264 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,670 Where'd you get it? 265 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:29,845 You know that box where we put the stuff 266 00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,891 we pull out of people's anal cavities? 267 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,370 What? 268 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,981 I'm kidding. 269 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,678 It's not from the butt box. 270 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:40,073 Ew. 271 00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,641 Raj, did you get a form? 272 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,381 Candace, form? 273 00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,079 I'll put it right here under your keys. 274 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,994 No way. Are you serious? 275 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,300 No. Why would Claire do that? 276 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,824 You know why. 277 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:55,262 Oh, I bet you know. I bet you know. 278 00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,264 Oh, sorry, we'll get back to work. 279 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:59,745 No, no, no. As you were. 280 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,095 So what's going on with Claire-bear? 281 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,879 Give me the scuttlebutt. 282 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,186 The what? 283 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,622 Just tell the story. 284 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,711 Well, a few of us went out last night. 285 00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:11,234 Of course you did. 286 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:14,107 Fun group of ladies like you, a bunch of troublemakers. 287 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,586 Well, it did get a little crazy. 288 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,719 Ah! Who called it? 289 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,982 OK, so Claire, she took these edibles. 290 00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,244 And then-- 291 00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:23,116 OK, OK, um... 292 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:28,556 I'm thinking this might not be a great story to tell at work. 293 00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:30,253 Oh. 294 00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,777 But... 295 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,474 Here's something. 296 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:36,259 Did you guys ever work with Mary Jenkins in the ICU, 297 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,350 like, 22 years ago? Because get this. 298 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:43,354 She died. 299 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,837 Now, it's very, very simple. 300 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,971 Just put down anyone you could conceivably ever hook up with, 301 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,973 and then you don't have to think about paperwork 302 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,322 when arousal strikes. 303 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,671 So we fill out a form for anyone 304 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,369 who we might want to be with? - Exactly. 305 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,415 It could be someone you have a crush on. 306 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,199 Could be people you can't stand. 307 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,897 You know, that kind of sex can really 308 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,289 get you out of a dark place. 309 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,335 Oh, which reminds me, what's Stella's last name? 310 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,815 - Baporia. - Baporia. 311 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,773 Insane, but OK. - I don't know. 312 00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:13,296 This kind of feels like harassment, 313 00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:15,037 but I can't exactly describe why. 314 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,952 What? No, it's a fail-safe. 315 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,519 Everything would be consensual. 316 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,695 The forms are a backup, not a guarantee. 317 00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,131 Come on, how are you not getting this? 318 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,351 So what if you can't remember the person's name? 319 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,353 Is it OK to put down their body shape 320 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,224 and presumed racial background? 321 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,183 That is a great idea. 322 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,489 Yes, thank you for being a problem solver, 323 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:35,362 not a problem creator, Dakota. 324 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,408 What? 325 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,021 Hey, Tim. 326 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,283 Whoa! 327 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,372 Look at you. - I know, right? 328 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,200 Serena did my makeup and my hair. 329 00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,549 But I washed my own face, though. 330 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,811 - Oh. - Hey. 331 00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:51,247 Um, you can let go of the door, baby. 332 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,379 - Oh, yep. - Yep. 333 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,860 Uh, well, this is kind of awesome. 334 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,732 I can't believe we're doing this in the afternoon. 335 00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,386 I know, right? It's like, what are we, 15? 336 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,823 Right? 15? Wow-- 337 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,172 You know, we should go. 338 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,217 We should get this show on the-- 339 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,392 Alex, I'm so sorry. 340 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,046 I know you're on your lunch. 341 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,483 Really quick, do we need to run labs on the patient in 110? 342 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,528 No, I just need you to monitor his vitals. 343 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,095 - OK, gotcha. - Yeah. 344 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,575 Uh, Matt, I'm sorry. 345 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,055 Did-- did you check to make sure he's been given 346 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,535 Cipro and not penicillin? Because he's allergic, so-- 347 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:21,321 Um, not sure. 348 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:25,238 But I assume that I would have done that. 349 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,935 OK, well, I have to go. 350 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,546 So did you, or didn't you? 351 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:32,854 I feel like I did. 352 00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,073 OK, you know what? 353 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,074 I'm just gonna go check real quick, OK? 354 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,510 Two minutes. - Of course. 355 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,033 Do your thing. - Mm-hmm. 356 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,775 Alex is a great boss, really patient with me. 357 00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:41,950 Well, you're probably not a screw-up 358 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,083 like that new guy that she keeps saying 359 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:47,042 is improving a lot. 360 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,392 She really likes him. 361 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:53,005 Hardy-har-har, real funny. 362 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,876 Well, I guess the art of romance 363 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,270 is just some dumb punchline to you people. 364 00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:58,445 What are you talking about? 365 00:13:58,446 --> 00:13:59,838 What I'm talking about, Dakota, 366 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,405 is that I've only received one pre-consent form, 367 00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:05,626 and it's from somebody named Fart. 368 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,716 I was doubting myself on that fart joke. 369 00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:12,807 Just overthinking it. But hearing Bruce say it? 370 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,896 It just works. 371 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:17,594 - Here you go. - Yes! 372 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,988 All right. My gal, Val. 373 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,598 See? 374 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,296 That's what I'm talking about. 375 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,732 I got to admit, I'm a little surprised. 376 00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,516 I wasn't sure you'd get the vision. 377 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:28,475 Joyce doesn't like things to be too spicy. 378 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,130 But me? I like spice. 379 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,522 Yeah, you do. 380 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,829 Look at all those names. Wow. 381 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,092 Now we're talking, yeah? 382 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,051 It only takes one domino to fall. 383 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,356 God bless. 384 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:41,923 She's got just about everybody on here. 385 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:46,886 Men, women, lab techs. That's a shame. 386 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,323 Huh. 387 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,064 Hey, guys and gals. 388 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:56,329 Oh, you will never believe what I just overheard. 389 00:14:56,330 --> 00:15:00,246 Apparently, Cynthia is cheating on Brian. 390 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:03,858 Can you believe it? 391 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:06,165 I'm Cynthia. 392 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,557 Oh. 393 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,081 Well, it's a good thing Brian's not here, huh? 394 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:16,393 Brian, huh? 395 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,787 Sorry. 396 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:21,397 That took too long, but we're good. 397 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:22,964 We're-- well, we're cutting it close. 398 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,705 No, hey, I can make it go as fast as we need. 399 00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:27,012 Oh, honey, let's maybe not sound so proud of that. 400 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,709 I'm kind of excited about this, to be honest. 401 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:31,190 Oh, God, that looks bad. 402 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,366 Yep, huge pile-up on 84. 403 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,716 - 84 East or West? - East. 404 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,065 Damn it. 405 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,588 We're not gonna make it to the hotel in time. 406 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:40,982 Also, the accident, I'm sad about that, too. 407 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,897 Well, I mean, I got the iPad in the car. 408 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:45,508 Why don't we just put on "The Crown" and hang out? 409 00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:48,337 I don't want to just hang out. 410 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,253 You know what? Here, come with me. 411 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,954 You never know who was or wasn't joking 412 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,564 or not joking about what, 413 00:15:57,565 --> 00:16:00,393 so can't hurt to fill out one of these, you know, 414 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,611 just so it's on file. 415 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:04,049 Well, Matty... 416 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,441 I didn't know you were seeing somebody at work. 417 00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:07,226 Hey, Joyce. 418 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:08,705 Um, yeah, you know what? I'm actually not. 419 00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:11,012 I changed my mind, so... - Who is it. Who is it? 420 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,579 - No, Joyce, Joyce-- - Just let me see. 421 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,841 - Joyce-- - I'm gonna find out anyway. 422 00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,495 Oh, my God. 423 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:16,887 It's in there now. 424 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,411 And you're not allowed to grab it because 425 00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:21,458 that's my private area. 426 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,809 Do you have your insurance card, sir? 427 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,464 So, Val, I was looking at your consent form, 428 00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:31,380 and I noticed the lack of my name, Bruce Schweitz, 429 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:33,948 and I realized, Brucie, you didn't clarify 430 00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,732 if you were eligible, you big dummy. 431 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,039 People might think you aren't, since you're the organizer. 432 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,476 But just FYI, I am eligible. 433 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,348 Yeah, I know. 434 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,740 Hold on, bud. 435 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:44,959 You know, putting my name down 436 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,700 doesn't commit you to hooking up with me. 437 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,658 It's a "just in case" thing. - Like a fail-safe. 438 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,443 Yes! That's what I said earlier. 439 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,619 Look at that. Same wavelength. - I get it. 440 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,100 OK, it's just you've listed half the hospital here. 441 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,536 I'm into a lot of types. 442 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,407 And like you said, you never know what'll happen. 443 00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,409 Right. That's why I'm confused. 444 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,630 OK, are you here for a throat thing? 445 00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,110 Because that's not an emergency. 446 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,286 It's just disruptive. 447 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,983 Hey. 448 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,332 What are you doing back already? 449 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,812 We had to pivot, and I need a room. 450 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,119 Oh, I got you. I see you. 451 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,729 Room 321. 452 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,644 Oh, if it's too intense up there-- 453 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,646 hey, Parker, do people still have 454 00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,735 adult conversations in that room 455 00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:22,953 with the broken Pyxis machine? 456 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,303 - No, it got rats. - How many? 457 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,305 Like, a rat, or a community? 458 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,480 No, that's OK. We'll just-- 459 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,134 Oh, there's a guy in a coma in 313. 460 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,439 He won't know what's happening, probably. 461 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,440 No. No, thank you. 462 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,659 There's the oncology rooms, 463 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:33,964 but some people feel weird about that. 464 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,531 Yeah, I would. I would feel weird about that. 465 00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:36,924 - Weird about what? - Nothing. 466 00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,665 - Alex wants a place to smash. - Oh! 467 00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:40,667 Well, go in the VIP suite. Nobody ever goes in there. 468 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,625 - Ooh, and it's got a bidet. - Thanks, team. 469 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,584 It takes a village, and I am truly horrified. 470 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,935 Let's go. Excuse me. 471 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,112 - So they all know? - Yeah. 472 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:53,941 So I have 18 minutes left on my break. 473 00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,029 So we just really need to just get right 474 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,204 to the heart of things, OK? 475 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,640 Are we gonna get caught in this room? 476 00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,555 No. Let's just save the questions for after, yeah? 477 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:00,948 Well, should I put some music on? 478 00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,123 Oh, my gosh. That would be perfect, yes. 479 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,168 Oh, wow, they have 5G in here? 480 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,300 - OK. - Oh! 481 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,955 So I guess we have to take this off-site now. 482 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,130 Uh-huh. 483 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,697 Hey, what's your deal with Saturday? 484 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,394 I have a girls' dinner at 6:00, but I could be done-- 485 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:14,614 Yeah, we all have stuff. Excuse me. 486 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:18,835 Oh, boy, that was a marathon of a surgery. 487 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:21,273 Yeah, but it was all worth it so that that 488 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,362 little girl could walk again. 489 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:26,147 What was that? - I didn't say anything. 490 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,584 Gotcha, yeah. Yeah. 491 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:31,239 Hey, you got a good girl here. Yeah, one of the best. 492 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,806 One of my favorites. 493 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,329 I'm not putting you on my sex list, Bruce. 494 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:35,461 What? 495 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,680 I wouldn't. I don't even-- yeah. 496 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:41,075 I-- I can see what you're doing. 497 00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:43,469 And it's damn sexy. 498 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,473 Honestly, if we could just-- 499 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,127 sorry, can we take a sec? 500 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,781 Um, I kind of feel like an on-demand sex android, 501 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,174 which I always thought would be kind of 502 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,480 a cool role-play for us, 503 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,351 but, you know? - Right, oh. 504 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,613 - Well, no, I mean, it's-- - Yeah, no, no, no. 505 00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:58,962 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. No. 506 00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:01,008 Oh, my gosh, don't. Don't-- I'm sorry. 507 00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,749 Listen, we haven't had sex in a while. 508 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,968 And I just-- I think I got in my head about what that means. 509 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,405 You know what I mean? - Oh, honey. 510 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,189 I think we're fine. - Yeah. 511 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,669 But, I mean, I love this. I just think-- 512 00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,410 No, yeah, I just-- this is insane. 513 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,194 So I probably-- I wouldn't be attracted 514 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,848 to me right now, either. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 515 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,197 I definitely did not say I'm not attracted to you. 516 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,503 No, sweetie, it's fine. 517 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:18,634 Honey, no, this is super sexy that you 518 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,027 wanted to do this for us. 519 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,203 And I'm never not attracted to you. 520 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,857 You're my dream girl. 521 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,869 Listen, let's clear the elephant in the room. 522 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,914 This morning, whenever I yelled "no," 523 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:40,178 I was just joking because you were. 524 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,484 And I really want to make sure you know that. 525 00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,225 I guess I've been listening to a lot of 526 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,835 Joy Behar's podcasts recently, 527 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,924 so I was just in a silly mood, you know? 528 00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,926 Yeah, for sure. 529 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,450 OK. 530 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:56,977 Um, unless you weren't joking because I actually, uh... 531 00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:02,069 uh, love for you to listen to Joy Behar's podcast 532 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,246 because it is really fun. 533 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,508 All right. 534 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,771 ♪ Weapons of war 535 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,686 ♪ Symptoms of madness 536 00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:12,688 Yes, Sanderson, I know I'm the boss. 537 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,734 I'm just saying, it would be nice to feel like 538 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:17,563 I'm part of the group again. 539 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:20,522 I don't-- I don't know if we have Paramount . 540 00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,917 Why aren't you listening to me? 541 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:26,049 OK, well, I'm-- let me go someplace where I can-- 542 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,791 Oh, good God! - Oh! 543 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,053 - . - Oh, my God! 544 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:32,665 Joyce, sorry! I'm so sorry! 545 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:36,756 It's OK. Uh, I won't tell anybody. 546 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,019 Your secret's safe with me. 547 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,890 You know what I realized today? 548 00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:44,024 I can be the boss, but I can also be part of the group. 549 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,243 Joyce? 550 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,331 Those two things are not exclusive. 551 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,636 Joyce? 552 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:48,898 I can wear my fancy boss pants, 553 00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:51,597 or I can wear my scuttlebutt slacks. 554 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,207 And, look, I get it. 555 00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,122 We're at work more than anyplace else, 556 00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:58,386 and the stakes are high here-- life, death, et cetera. 557 00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:01,955 So feelings are gonna develop, and things will happen-- 558 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:05,872 crushes, romances, flings, heartbreaks. 559 00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:07,656 I really thought we had something. 560 00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:09,397 But was it all a lie? 561 00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:12,095 But no matter what, we all deserve respect. 562 00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:14,054 And if you know a secret about someone, 563 00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:16,012 keep it to yourself. - Keep what to yourself? 564 00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:18,798 Guess who I saw hooking up in the VIP suite. 565 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:21,322 She told everyone, didn't she?