1
00:01:48,902 --> 00:01:51,154
How many stars
sparkle in the sky?

2
00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:53,948
Ever tried counting them?

3
00:01:54,574 --> 00:02:01,956
It would take 6,000 years to
count those in our galaxy alone

4
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,793
How many such galaxies exist?

5
00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:08,797
Scientists reckon
two billion more

6
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:14,469
Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodies

7
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:18,139
a planet with people
like us exists?

8
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,310
As we explore space
looking for them,

9
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:26,940
couldn't they be coming here,
looking for us?

10
00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:57,966
Hindi pop $0119

11
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:20,965
What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship

12
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:24,844
Without this remote
he could not return home

13
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:29,557
He neither knew our language,
nor had a friend here

14
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:33,811
Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...

15
00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:35,980
...how will I return home?

16
00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:03,925
On the pathway of Time
Life is but a brief flame

17
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:09,972
In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist

18
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,309
But on a beautiful bend

19
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:16,354
A stranger may we meet

20
00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:19,649
Life after life

21
00:07:19,899 --> 00:07:22,944
Whose memory may persist

22
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,965
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?

23
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:46,134
- Yes sir...
- I'll take it!

24
00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:48,886
Sorry, I raised my hand first

25
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,556
But I called out first

26
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:54,809
I'm a big fan of
Mr Bachchan, the poet

27
00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,478
I'm a bigger fan of his son,
the actor

28
00:07:57,854 --> 00:08:00,648
From age ten, I know all his poems.
Fully memorized

29
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,985
From age five, I know his son's
dialogues - without memorizing

30
00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:05,820
Hello, who wants it?

31
00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:08,489
Give me.
Poetry's not his cup of tea

32
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,949
€100

33
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:13,953
€100 for a €40 ticket?
Black market of poetry!

34
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,164
Queued up
six long hours for this

35
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,790
Time is money

36
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:29,510
- Go for the dialogues.
- All yours. Ladies first

37
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,264
Just a sec!
Why not split the ticket?

38
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:40,313
1st half you enjoy the poetry.
2nd half I'll savor the acting

39
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:43,941
That's a damn good idea!

40
00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:48,112
10, 20, 30, 40

41
00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:48,821
50 more

42
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,781
-96
-96

43
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,953
€96. How about a discount?
We're from the same country

44
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,414
Hail India, bro!

45
00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:01,584
Long live motherland!
€100

46
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,796
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?

47
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,007
Sir!

48
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:10,927
Can I borrow €4?
Please!

49
00:09:11,177 --> 00:09:13,971
Keep my watch till I repay

50
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,973
Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket

51
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:19,519
Show is sold out, child.
No tickets left

52
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:23,606
There is one left
with that black marketer

53
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:28,194
Scoundrel!
Giving India a bad name

54
00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:29,028
So true!

55
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:32,657
Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket

56
00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:33,783
OK, Sir

57
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,076
Thank you

58
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:45,920
Yes!

59
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:59,141
- Sir!
- Do I know you?

60
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,851
Where's my ticket?

61
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,938
Ticket?
Yours for € 100

62
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,982
You bloody cheat!

63
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,901
Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!

64
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:09,986
Mind your language!

65
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:12,321
Mind your coat first!

66
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,033
- Now enjoy the show!
- Security!

67
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:18,661
- Wrinkled wreck!
- Security!

68
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,831
Let's get outta here

69
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,959
I'll get you for this!

70
00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,795
Don't chase me...
catch him!

71
00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:44,937
Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!

72
00:10:45,313 --> 00:10:48,065
Forget it

73
00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:49,317
How can I?

74
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,278
That bandit basks in poetry
and here I am

75
00:10:52,278 --> 00:10:53,237
Drop it

76
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:57,950
Why pine for the party
that shuns us?

77
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:01,537
Follow the moment
that beckons us

78
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:04,123
I too dabble in poetry

79
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,208
It's nice. Go on

80
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:13,215
No. If I go on,
you'll propose to me

81
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:16,594
- You crazy?
- I mean it!

82
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,971
Your favorite poet,
senior Mr Bachchan

83
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,932
met a lady one morning,
wooed her with verse

84
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,644
By dusk they were married.
So I've read

85
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:26,062
Really?

86
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,148
And boy!
Look what they produced -

87
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,609
Amitabh Bachchan -
the great actor

88
00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:34,320
Jaggu

89
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:35,863
Jaggu?

90
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,490
My name

91
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,993
Papa named me Jagat Janani:
world's mother

92
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:45,373
I got mocked at school
so I shortened it - Jaggu

93
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,458
- From Mumbai?
- No. Delhi

94
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,335
I'm studying TV production

95
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:50,628
And you?

96
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,756
Sarfaraz. I study architecture

97
00:11:54,382 --> 00:11:56,926
and work part time
at the Pakistan Embassy

98
00:11:57,468 --> 00:11:59,345
Pakistan Embassy? Why?

99
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,931
Well, I'm from Pakistan

100
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:05,726
Unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!

101
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,522
What's wrong?

102
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,482
Nothing

103
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:20,241
My being from Pakistan
perturbs you?

104
00:12:22,702 --> 00:12:24,245
Alright then

105
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,747
Goodbye

106
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:48,310
Ask not my name,
nor my country

107
00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:54,775
From bondage of
borders break free

108
00:12:55,818 --> 00:13:01,282
A few steps
on this brief journey

109
00:13:01,991 --> 00:13:07,204
Come,
just walk with me

110
00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:20,926
Ask not my name,
nor my country

111
00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:24,513
From bondage of
borders break free

112
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:29,101
A few steps
on this brief journey

113
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,688
Come,
just walk with me

114
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,942
Past the realms of
word and speech

115
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,488
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach

116
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:44,950
A few steps
on this brief journey

117
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:48,162
Come,
just walk with me

118
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,875
Past the realms of
word and speech

119
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:56,629
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach

120
00:13:57,755 --> 00:14:01,217
A few steps
on this brief journey

121
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:05,554
Come,
just walk with me

122
00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:29,286
If the sun scorches
the pathway

123
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,957
A carpet of shade
will I lay

124
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:37,253
If darkness
fills you with dismay

125
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:41,131
I'll conjure up
a moon in the sky

126
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,302
If dejection fills up
your day

127
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:49,098
With laughter
I'll shoo it away

128
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:53,352
Laughing, frolicking,
humming a song

129
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:57,064
Together we shall
walk along

130
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:19,003
With you,
my fellow traveler

131
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:22,256
Nothing in this world I fear

132
00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:27,261
Why a few steps,
a whole lifelong

133
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:30,723
<i>With you I'll walk along</i>

134
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:35,019
Past the realms of
word and speech

135
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,772
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach

136
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:43,068
A few steps
on this brief journey

137
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:47,197
Come,
just walk with me

138
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,950
- Thank you
- Thank you

139
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,243
Mom!!

140
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:34,161
Papa!

141
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,746
She's fallen in love!

142
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,374
Fallen in love?

143
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,084
He's so cute!

144
00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:41,794
More photos please!

145
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,755
What's his job?
What's his family like?

146
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,132
Calm down Mom.
I'll tell you

147
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,468
First, the name

148
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:51,303
Sarfaraz

149
00:16:51,804 --> 00:16:53,555
Muslim?

150
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:57,935
Yes. Studies architecture.
Family is in Pakistan

151
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,521
Pakistan!
Which Pakistan?

152
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,272
There's just
one Pakistan, Mom

153
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:03,357
You'll wear burkhas?

154
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,693
Read the Quran?
Have you gone mad?

155
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:08,696
Don't you disconnect.
Stay put

156
00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:10,239
Start the car

157
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533
All's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!

158
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,619
I knew exactly
where Papa was headed

159
00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:20,374
Since childhood one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness

160
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,126
Bye Mom

161
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,754
From bags to bathroom walls,

162
00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:28,966
he was omnipresent

163
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:34,930
Even for a root canal
he would set the auspicious time

164
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:41,520
He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task

165
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:46,483
Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market

166
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:51,530
God of Health for workouts

167
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,325
Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courier

168
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:59,705
were his innovations

169
00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:06,670
Hail, Your Holiness

170
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:10,049
Hail, Your Holiness

171
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,636
Touch his feet Jaggu

172
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:27,941
Why this fatal infatuation?

173
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,612
Pick up a pen and write

174
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,363
God

175
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,075
Enlighten me

176
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,289
Yes...

177
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:44,958
Yes...

178
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,420
Your wish is our command

179
00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:50,964
Write down the prophecy

180
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,467
This Pakistani boy,

181
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,302
Sarfaraz,

182
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:57,930
will betray you

183
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,432
I know he won't

184
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:08,524
History stands witness:
these people scheme and betray

185
00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:12,319
He will pursue
carnal pleasures

186
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:15,739
But will never marry you.
He'll vanish

187
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:20,911
Come home now! One more
night there, and you're dead to us

188
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:23,789
Mr Sahni,
I'll talk to her

189
00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:27,793
Child, hit the delete button

190
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:31,213
Banish him
from your system

191
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:36,927
Hello!

192
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,764
What happened?

193
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,934
Do you love me?

194
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,186
Of course I do. Why?

195
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,940
- Will you marry me?
- What's the matter?

196
00:19:50,149 --> 00:19:51,108
Yes or no, Sarfaraz?

197
00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:53,277
- Yes, but...
- Tomorrow

198
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:54,570
Tomorrow?

199
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,364
Tomorrow we get married

200
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:01,994
His prophecy is wrong.
I'll prove it

201
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:18,177
Mr James Herrick and
Miss Oprah Brown, you're next

202
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,471
- James isn't here, yet.
- Oh, talk to the registrar

203
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,183
Could you just
hold this please?

204
00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:25,767
- Yes of course.
- Thank you

205
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:28,437
Hello...

206
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,523
This is for you

207
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,734
- For me?
- Yeah

208
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,527
Thank you

209
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,617
It was from Sarfaraz

210
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:45,204
<i>He said: marriage isn't just
between individuals, but families</i>

211
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:48,665
Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different

212
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,585
We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy

213
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,046
Don't try to contact me

214
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,839
I'm sorry

215
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,153
Where to go young lady?

216
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,696
New Delhi

217
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:27,955
I came back to my city, but
my parents refused to see me

218
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:30,123
I joined a news channel
as a reporter

219
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,668
Today's story:
a depressed dog

220
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,211
That's our breaking news!

221
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:38,090
Some days we had news,
some days we fabricated it

222
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:01,863
Missing: God

223
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:05,450
If found, contact Tipsy

224
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:11,707
There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office

225
00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:13,709
Don't be late!

226
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:28,265
Excuse me?

227
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,267
Why are you
handing these out?

228
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:32,936
I have a case
pending with Him

229
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:35,188
He neither solves it,
nor meets me

230
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,816
My life is kaput

231
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:41,570
He's gone into hiding

232
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,198
Have you seen Him around?

233
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:47,951
No

234
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:59,087
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother

235
00:22:59,338 --> 00:23:03,759
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother

236
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:06,219
By the way,
what's with the helmet?

237
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,597
Got the idea from taxi-tops

238
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:11,725
Yellow yells out from miles

239
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:14,978
Taxis are spotted
easily in traffic

240
00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:18,940
- So?
- So God can spot me easy!

241
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:23,362
How else will he spot me
in this crowd?

242
00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:34,039
A bit to your left - perfect!

243
00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:35,665
Ok, background?

244
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,542
Cue Jaggu

245
00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:41,129
They say
animals are not suicidal

246
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:45,717
Here's Nikku.
Mr Sweetie Singh's dog

247
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:49,971
Nikku has attempted
suicide thrice

248
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:55,602
Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping
pills, hopping onto a gas burner

249
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,938
What's wrong with Nikku?

250
00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:01,358
Is Nikku prey to a
mental problem?

251
00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:03,318
Is Nikku...

252
00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:07,197
What's wrong Jaggu?

253
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,366
What is this shit, Mitu?

254
00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:17,165
Our chat with famed industrialist
Mr Ratan continues

255
00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:18,917
right after this break

256
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,587
Going well, Ratan?
Some coffee?

257
00:24:22,963 --> 00:24:24,214
Get him some coffee

258
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:26,550
- Cherry...
- Oh no!

259
00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:30,011
What's your guess? This dog has
depression, anxiety disorder,

260
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:33,598
schizophrenia, or ADHD?

261
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,767
Whatever,
why would I care?

262
00:24:35,976 --> 00:24:36,935
Exactly

263
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:41,940
Why would anyone care?
Then why do we air such bull?

264
00:24:42,858 --> 00:24:44,568
What would you rather air?

265
00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:46,945
Hold him please

266
00:24:48,864 --> 00:24:49,865
See this?

267
00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:53,160
I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets

268
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,329
- He is searching for God.
- Found Him?

269
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:58,540
No... but

270
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:02,961
Searching for God - that's religion.
Finding God - that's news

271
00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:05,547
If he finds God, get him.
I'll put him on air

272
00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:07,632
You know the Company policy

273
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:10,302
No news on religion,
no news on God. Finished

274
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:12,137
Man, you've changed!

275
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,723
Where's the fighter,
Cherry Bajwa?

276
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:17,559
You wanna see the fighter?

277
00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:19,686
Take a good look

278
00:25:20,187 --> 00:25:22,606
There are three marks here

279
00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:24,608
These aren't birthmarks

280
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:28,987
I ran a show against His Holiness,
your Dad's Guru

281
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:32,616
His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum

282
00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:35,494
Anchor coming to you
in 10 seconds

283
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:38,163
That day I swore -
if you want to live in this country

284
00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:40,123
don't mess with religion.
That's it

285
00:25:40,332 --> 00:25:42,209
- I've got a show to run now.
- 5... 4...

286
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:42,959
3...

287
00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:43,835
2...

288
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:44,753
1...

289
00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:46,213
Welcome back from the break

290
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:49,591
We were chatting with
famed industrialist Mr Ratan...

291
00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:52,677
The boss killed my story

292
00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:56,932
But it came back to life
two weeks later

293
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,349
[DONATION BOX]

294
00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:47,148
Stop! Thief!

295
00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:51,528
He's stealing
from the donation box!

296
00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:10,797
Don't let him go!

297
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:20,807
Lifting from the
donation box, you fool?

298
00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:21,683
Yes

299
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,351
He's no thief!

300
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:27,022
While donating
my wallet fell in the box

301
00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:29,482
He was getting it out for me

302
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:31,276
Trust me

303
00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:36,114
Check for yourself.
It has Rs. 5,000 in it

304
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,341
- That's mine!
- It was

305
00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:56,843
Once in the box,
it's donated

306
00:27:57,093 --> 00:28:00,180
Now, it's God's.
Let them go

307
00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:03,892
Dude, what the hell
were you up to?

308
00:28:03,892 --> 00:28:05,143
Claiming my refund

309
00:28:05,393 --> 00:28:07,354
God took His fee
but didn't deliver

310
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,938
Hang on...

311
00:28:09,564 --> 00:28:13,568
I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back in

312
00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:18,323
I took back what I'd paid
at this branch. Returned the rest

313
00:28:19,366 --> 00:28:21,618
You used to wear
beads and amulets?

314
00:28:21,618 --> 00:28:23,703
Rejected. Gone for good

315
00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:26,706
Why the stickers then?

316
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:29,292
Self-defense!

317
00:28:30,001 --> 00:28:32,962
God pics on walls - prevent peeing

318
00:28:33,296 --> 00:28:36,466
on face - prevent punches

319
00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:43,932
Mitu, where are you?

320
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,685
Pick me up.
I've no money to get home

321
00:28:47,018 --> 00:28:48,269
I'll fill you in later

322
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:51,981
I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple

323
00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:54,484
Hurry.
Thanks,bye

324
00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:57,529
Here you go

325
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:01,032
- For what?
- For the ride home

326
00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:05,954
When someone can't
get home, I feel sad

327
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:10,917
- Wait.
- That's all I had

328
00:29:11,292 --> 00:29:13,294
I can't accept this

329
00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:17,674
- Why?
- Won't you need it to get home?

330
00:29:22,178 --> 00:29:25,932
Money can't get me home

331
00:29:26,099 --> 00:29:28,977
Why? Where do you live?

332
00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:40,572
In the step-well ruins

333
00:29:41,865 --> 00:29:46,828
But in this rainy season,
I check into a lock-up

334
00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,956
Lock-up!
As in police lock-up?

335
00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:53,918
There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them

336
00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:57,464
And they let you check in,
like a hotel?

337
00:29:57,839 --> 00:30:00,258
Come.
I'll give you a demo

338
00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:05,680
[Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE]

339
00:30:09,684 --> 00:30:11,102
Just watch!

340
00:30:12,145 --> 00:30:14,814
[Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE]

341
00:30:15,148 --> 00:30:18,067
Hey, copper -
look here proper!

342
00:30:33,416 --> 00:30:35,794
I'll show you proper!

343
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,263
Jaggu!

344
00:30:49,974 --> 00:30:51,935
We have to
follow that van

345
00:30:52,143 --> 00:30:55,063
- Who are we chasing?
- A story

346
00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:12,121
Gimme your wallet.
I need cash

347
00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:15,708
Hurry!
Thanks. Bye

348
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,430
Excuse me?

349
00:31:30,473 --> 00:31:31,307
Yes?

350
00:31:31,558 --> 00:31:34,060
I want to go
inside the lock-up

351
00:31:34,269 --> 00:31:35,478
Why?

352
00:31:36,396 --> 00:31:38,565
To meet that guy

353
00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:42,819
You think this is the
local coffee joint, huh?

354
00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:46,322
Saunter in and chillax
with your buddies?

355
00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:48,074
This is a lock-up, get it?

356
00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:52,328
Only offenders get in

357
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:56,249
Bribing is an offence!

358
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,919
That's why I'm committing it!

359
00:32:00,128 --> 00:32:01,170
I can lock you in

360
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:03,256
Please do... ASAP!

361
00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:13,600
- Thank you, Mr Pandey.
- One hour, that's it

362
00:32:13,850 --> 00:32:15,226
Hi

363
00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:20,857
I want your story.
Will you share it?

364
00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:22,483
Why?

365
00:32:22,859 --> 00:32:25,945
I'm a TV reporter.
It's my job

366
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:43,421
- Go on, ask.
- Awesome!

367
00:32:48,176 --> 00:32:50,470
Your name?

368
00:32:51,346 --> 00:32:53,139
Don't have a name

369
00:32:53,348 --> 00:32:56,017
They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why

370
00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:58,478
And what do you do?

371
00:33:00,897 --> 00:33:03,107
I'm an astronaut

372
00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:06,277
Astronaut!

373
00:33:06,653 --> 00:33:08,947
Those who shoot off
to the moon?

374
00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:12,533
Been there once.
It's kaput

375
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,828
Sure!

376
00:33:16,412 --> 00:33:18,247
So what's your
favorite planet?

377
00:33:18,247 --> 00:33:21,125
- My own.
- I meant besides Earth?

378
00:33:21,459 --> 00:33:23,503
Earth is mega-kaput

379
00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:26,214
I meant my own planet

380
00:33:29,968 --> 00:33:33,930
It'll show up there at night

381
00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:36,808
We went bananas,

382
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:42,063
when we found another planet
with people like us

383
00:33:42,814 --> 00:33:45,191
I was sent here
on a research mission

384
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,235
Boy, what a welcome I got!

385
00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:49,779
My remote got robbed

386
00:33:50,613 --> 00:33:54,117
Without it,
I can't signal my people

387
00:33:54,117 --> 00:33:57,245
and without a signal
they won't come for me

388
00:33:57,704 --> 00:34:00,289
They'll think
it's a perilous planet

389
00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:03,001
That I'm dead as a dodo

390
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:08,297
Hello!

391
00:34:08,673 --> 00:34:09,924
- Listen...
- What?

392
00:34:10,258 --> 00:34:11,843
Let me out.
I want to go home

393
00:34:12,135 --> 00:34:16,055
Your Highness, convicts
don't decide that. Cops do

394
00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:17,765
I'm not a thief

395
00:34:17,974 --> 00:34:19,434
So say all the thieves

396
00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,978
Where's officer Pandey?

397
00:34:21,978 --> 00:34:23,604
Out on his rounds

398
00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:25,940
Officer Pandey!

399
00:34:27,066 --> 00:34:27,734
Officer Pandey!

400
00:34:27,734 --> 00:34:30,778
Shut up, or you get
a knuckle sandwich

401
00:34:50,506 --> 00:34:53,217
You think
I'm talking baloney?

402
00:34:53,968 --> 00:34:55,511
Obviously!

403
00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:58,097
Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?

404
00:34:58,306 --> 00:35:00,058
On our planet...

405
00:35:00,850 --> 00:35:03,436
...there's no language!

406
00:35:03,853 --> 00:35:06,439
We read minds.
There's no confusion

407
00:35:06,773 --> 00:35:09,776
Here, you utter something
and mean something else

408
00:35:09,776 --> 00:35:11,944
A two-letter word can have
four different meanings

409
00:35:12,528 --> 00:35:17,241
When you nod and say "oh",
it means "Oh, that's cool"

410
00:35:18,618 --> 00:35:21,871
When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news

411
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,957
"Your mother-in-law
is moving in." "Oh!"

412
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,503
When angry, you thunder

413
00:35:28,878 --> 00:35:32,131
"Oh! You'll pay
for that blunder!"

414
00:35:32,632 --> 00:35:35,468
And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!

415
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,679
"Ohhhhhhh! I see!"

416
00:35:39,639 --> 00:35:42,975
As you hear the words,
you gotta watch the expression

417
00:35:42,975 --> 00:35:45,019
to get the real meaning

418
00:35:45,019 --> 00:35:49,190
It's torture!
Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi

419
00:35:49,398 --> 00:35:52,568
A whole language in 6 hours?

420
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:55,029
No one let me hold hands

421
00:35:55,613 --> 00:35:57,907
Finally, a nice lady
lent her hand

422
00:35:57,907 --> 00:36:01,911
I held it and transferred
her language into my system

423
00:36:01,911 --> 00:36:06,707
Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!

424
00:36:06,874 --> 00:36:09,168
Is your hand a USB cable,

425
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:13,172
that transfers files
between computers?

426
00:36:13,631 --> 00:36:17,218
And your clothes? Are faded jeans
the rage on your planet too?

427
00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:18,928
Noooo!

428
00:36:19,303 --> 00:36:20,429
On our planet...

429
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:24,767
...no one wears clothes.
There we go bare

430
00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:27,937
Here, at first I thought

431
00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:31,941
your skins were
different from ours

432
00:36:32,567 --> 00:36:34,735
Some had sparkly hides,

433
00:36:34,986 --> 00:36:37,655
some jet black

434
00:36:38,823 --> 00:36:41,742
Some hides were colorful,
some white

435
00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:46,664
Some hides sticky-tight,
some baggy

436
00:36:48,749 --> 00:36:51,544
Then one day
I found a car

437
00:36:51,878 --> 00:36:53,004
A dancing car

438
00:36:59,343 --> 00:37:04,849
That day I realized
our skins were the same

439
00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:09,937
but yours are covered
with a thing called fashion

440
00:37:15,276 --> 00:37:17,945
Radio Commercial

441
00:37:18,196 --> 00:37:21,490
Now I could mingle

442
00:37:21,908 --> 00:37:25,494
Yet I was mocked

443
00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:29,665
Look here -
half man, half woman!

444
00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:32,293
Slowly I got it

445
00:37:32,543 --> 00:37:35,546
There's man - fashion
and woman - fashion

446
00:37:36,297 --> 00:37:37,632
There was day fashion...

447
00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:39,550
...and night fashion

448
00:37:39,967 --> 00:37:41,302
Sporting fashion...

449
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:42,929
...and serving fashion

450
00:37:45,973 --> 00:37:49,936
With the clothes,
I found some photos

451
00:38:02,406 --> 00:38:07,870
It hit me - these photos
meant survival

452
00:38:08,663 --> 00:38:11,332
You could
swap them for food

453
00:38:11,624 --> 00:38:14,919
So I built a portfolio
of this old man's photos

454
00:38:30,685 --> 00:38:32,353
What's this?

455
00:38:36,565 --> 00:38:38,818
What are these for?

456
00:38:41,237 --> 00:38:44,323
Why are you giving me
this junk?

457
00:38:46,993 --> 00:38:49,328
Right! Now we're talking!

458
00:38:49,745 --> 00:38:51,372
Here you go

459
00:38:52,415 --> 00:38:56,544
I got it: this photo had value
on just one kind of paper

460
00:38:56,961 --> 00:39:01,257
On any other paper,
it was worthless

461
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:06,971
For cash and clothes,
dancing cars were widely available

462
00:39:07,179 --> 00:39:10,266
They were my bank,
they were my tailor!

463
00:39:12,101 --> 00:39:14,437
Once, I got
such magnetic attire

464
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:17,815
that no photos
were needed

465
00:39:17,815 --> 00:39:19,942
Food was pulled to me

466
00:39:20,151 --> 00:39:21,944
For you, Sir

467
00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:28,159
Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language

468
00:39:28,409 --> 00:39:31,495
Without it,
every task was a trial

469
00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:33,622
Like telling this gentleman

470
00:39:33,831 --> 00:39:37,251
there was a defect
in his fashion

471
00:39:44,133 --> 00:39:47,470
I felt I had spoilt his fashion

472
00:39:49,055 --> 00:39:52,058
So I put it back
where it was

473
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:19,001
[Radio Announcement]

474
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,507
Found him on the road

475
00:40:25,091 --> 00:40:27,134
Some scumbag
hit him and bolted

476
00:40:27,968 --> 00:40:29,929
Seems pretty okay,

477
00:40:31,180 --> 00:40:33,307
but isn't responding

478
00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:36,477
Has his eardrum
called it a day?

479
00:40:36,894 --> 00:40:38,771
Are you deaf?

480
00:40:39,230 --> 00:40:42,650
Can hear alright,
but isn't talking

481
00:40:43,317 --> 00:40:45,528
Seems in a state of shock

482
00:40:45,861 --> 00:40:48,948
Memory loss, I'm afraid

483
00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:02,586
Remember the scumbag
who hit you?

484
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,049
Remember the license plate?

485
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,512
Remember anything at all?

486
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:43,127
Come my friend.
Come with me

487
00:41:44,336 --> 00:41:48,340
Be my guest till you
get your memory back

488
00:41:50,593 --> 00:41:52,636
Keep slamming your head

489
00:41:52,970 --> 00:41:58,350
One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back

490
00:41:58,642 --> 00:42:00,311
Seen it in the movies

491
00:42:00,311 --> 00:42:02,813
To figure what he was
yapping about,

492
00:42:02,813 --> 00:42:06,942
<i>I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language</i>

493
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:10,946
Hey!

494
00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:15,951
With memory loss your gender
sense went for a toss?

495
00:42:16,243 --> 00:42:17,077
Wait a moment...

496
00:42:18,204 --> 00:42:19,705
See this - my license

497
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,582
Sex: MALE

498
00:42:21,957 --> 00:42:22,625
Man...

499
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:25,753
rogue, rascal, scumbag

500
00:42:27,338 --> 00:42:32,343
To return home
I had to hold someone's hand

501
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,363
Here comes my zany guest

502
00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:59,078
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all

503
00:43:02,665 --> 00:43:05,709
Here comes my zany guest

504
00:43:06,043 --> 00:43:09,255
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all

505
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:13,008
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!

506
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,970
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge

507
00:43:16,971 --> 00:43:23,769
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

508
00:43:25,312 --> 00:43:32,945
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

509
00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:13,444
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far

510
00:44:13,694 --> 00:44:16,864
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar

511
00:44:17,323 --> 00:44:20,451
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far

512
00:44:20,784 --> 00:44:24,038
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar

513
00:44:24,038 --> 00:44:30,961
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?

514
00:44:31,211 --> 00:44:37,926
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?

515
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:41,847
What's the zip code
Of your abode

516
00:44:42,056 --> 00:44:45,643
Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground

517
00:44:45,643 --> 00:44:49,146
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!

518
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,107
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge

519
00:44:52,983 --> 00:44:59,990
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

520
00:45:01,992 --> 00:45:08,248
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

521
00:45:10,793 --> 00:45:14,630
This memory loss is a blessing

522
00:45:17,966 --> 00:45:21,053
This memory loss is a blessing

523
00:45:21,220 --> 00:45:24,682
Feuds forgotten
lenders left guessing

524
00:45:24,848 --> 00:45:26,266
Lovable lad

525
00:45:26,642 --> 00:45:28,060
Innocent lad

526
00:45:28,644 --> 00:45:31,647
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge

527
00:45:32,189 --> 00:45:38,237
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

528
00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:47,663
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

529
00:46:17,693 --> 00:46:23,949
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

530
00:46:24,408 --> 00:46:26,076
Here comes the lusty lad!

531
00:46:26,285 --> 00:46:27,828
Here comes the lusty lad!

532
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:31,039
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad

533
00:46:41,091 --> 00:46:43,177
I feel your pain, bro

534
00:46:43,844 --> 00:46:45,596
But don't go grabbing hands

535
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:51,477
You may end up in bed,
but most likely a hospital bed

536
00:46:54,855 --> 00:46:58,525
Don't give up,
I know place for you

537
00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:13,916
Hand, foot -
hold whatever

538
00:47:14,124 --> 00:47:15,918
No one will bash you here

539
00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,252
Come

540
00:47:17,628 --> 00:47:22,216
What a neighbourhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women

541
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:26,011
<i>All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home</i>

542
00:47:26,512 --> 00:47:30,808
Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper

543
00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,603
Pepper, take him
to the honeymoon suite

544
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:25,863
Pepper sat patiently all night

545
00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:31,118
For full 6 hours,
I transferred her language files

546
00:48:31,743 --> 00:48:36,999
ABC - X YZ,
I drew in everything

547
00:48:47,634 --> 00:48:52,639
First time?... Kaput before you kicked off?

548
00:48:57,853 --> 00:48:59,813
Y...y... yes!

549
00:49:01,189 --> 00:49:03,650
Where are you from?

550
00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:09,072
Far, far away

551
00:49:09,990 --> 00:49:12,993
From an unheard of village

552
00:49:13,285 --> 00:49:15,829
But you speak my lingo!

553
00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:20,959
Because I learnt it from you,
Sister

554
00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:24,963
Sister! You think
this is a convent? Out!

555
00:49:27,174 --> 00:49:27,925
Bro!

556
00:49:29,301 --> 00:49:31,178
Bro, wake up!

557
00:49:31,970 --> 00:49:33,430
Bro, wake up!

558
00:49:34,222 --> 00:49:34,973
Bro!

559
00:49:36,475 --> 00:49:37,976
You're talking!

560
00:49:37,976 --> 00:49:40,729
Bro, I need your help

561
00:49:40,979 --> 00:49:42,981
Pepper cleared up your throat!

562
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:44,983
Bro, come with me quick

563
00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:47,819
Memory and making out
have a direct connection!

564
00:49:48,654 --> 00:49:52,950
Update the docs:
get laid, get well!

565
00:49:53,116 --> 00:49:55,494
It's urgent, bro!

566
00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:56,828
Okay, let's go

567
00:50:03,961 --> 00:50:05,295
Stop... stop!

568
00:50:05,587 --> 00:50:07,422
Stop, bro!

569
00:50:10,968 --> 00:50:14,763
The jerk robbed me
right here

570
00:50:15,263 --> 00:50:17,933
I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back

571
00:50:18,225 --> 00:50:20,060
- Precious?
- It's priceless!

572
00:50:20,769 --> 00:50:23,355
The thief must be a local

573
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:26,525
But he'll sell
the loot in Delhi

574
00:50:26,733 --> 00:50:30,237
If he sold pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught

575
00:50:31,321 --> 00:50:33,115
Then I must go

576
00:50:33,490 --> 00:50:35,075
Where?

577
00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:36,952
Delhi

578
00:51:00,976 --> 00:51:02,561
- Officer!
- Yeah?

579
00:51:03,103 --> 00:51:06,148
- My remote control is stolen.
- Are you tipsy?

580
00:51:06,523 --> 00:51:09,359
Expect the police force
to track your TV remote?

581
00:51:09,985 --> 00:51:12,779
- It's not a TV remote!
- Then?

582
00:51:13,822 --> 00:51:17,159
Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain

583
00:51:17,159 --> 00:51:18,618
Really precious

584
00:51:18,994 --> 00:51:21,538
- Where was it stolen?
- In Mandawa

585
00:51:22,581 --> 00:51:26,460
And you're searching
in Delhi, you idiot?

586
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,795
The thief came to Delhi

587
00:51:28,962 --> 00:51:30,964
- So?
- So where's the thief?

588
00:51:30,964 --> 00:51:33,925
Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million

589
00:51:34,092 --> 00:51:39,014
Police are human,
not God

590
00:51:40,599 --> 00:51:44,102
Only God can help you

591
00:51:45,228 --> 00:51:50,692
Surrender to God,
you'll succeed

592
00:51:51,026 --> 00:51:55,363
Only God knows

593
00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:59,284
Ask God, not me!

594
00:52:00,285 --> 00:52:03,747
Trust in God, my child

595
00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:09,503
Who was this God chap?
All said only He could help

596
00:52:10,087 --> 00:52:13,048
What I saw blew my mind

597
00:52:13,465 --> 00:52:17,177
Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!

598
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:21,932
Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses

599
00:52:22,265 --> 00:52:28,647
Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee

600
00:52:29,106 --> 00:52:32,734
My planet had no such facility

601
00:52:33,068 --> 00:52:37,948
I could not believe it!
So decided to test it

602
00:52:39,991 --> 00:52:42,035
One take-away God

603
00:52:42,035 --> 00:52:45,455
Which one?
Rs. 20, 50, 100, 500?

604
00:52:45,997 --> 00:52:49,251
Any difference?
In the Rs.. 20 and Rs.. 500 ones?

605
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,753
Just the size.
Otherwise ditto

606
00:52:51,753 --> 00:52:55,173
Rs.. 20 God is
equally efficient?

607
00:52:56,258 --> 00:52:59,928
OK, gimme Rs 15!
Nothing less

608
00:53:12,858 --> 00:53:17,070
God, I am famished.
Get me some food please

609
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,667
I went bananas

610
00:53:31,126 --> 00:53:35,172
God actually worked!
Now I could go home

611
00:53:35,172 --> 00:53:38,133
God, my remote is stolen

612
00:53:38,508 --> 00:53:41,636
Please find it.
I want to go home

613
00:53:54,983 --> 00:53:59,154
God's battery died.
Worked once, then kaput

614
00:53:59,154 --> 00:54:00,906
What do you mean?

615
00:54:00,906 --> 00:54:03,283
Stick a new battery in.
Where does it go?

616
00:54:03,283 --> 00:54:06,369
- It needs no battery.
- Then why is it off?

617
00:54:06,828 --> 00:54:10,373
- Manufacturing defect?
- I make no defective stuff

618
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:16,129
- You made this God?
- Of course! With my own hands

619
00:54:16,838 --> 00:54:19,758
You made God,
or God made you?

620
00:54:19,966 --> 00:54:24,930
He made us all-
I only make His statues

621
00:54:25,138 --> 00:54:27,349
Why the statues?

622
00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:31,269
To worship Him.
To voice our problems

623
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:35,941
ls there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?

624
00:54:36,983 --> 00:54:41,780
God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly

625
00:54:41,780 --> 00:54:44,741
Directly?
Then why the statue?

626
00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:47,535
What's with him?

627
00:54:48,495 --> 00:54:52,165
Want to bust my business?
What's your problem?

628
00:54:52,958 --> 00:54:54,918
My remote is stolen, Sir

629
00:54:55,126 --> 00:54:58,463
I'm requesting God.
But He doesn't reply

630
00:54:58,964 --> 00:55:01,007
. Are you tipsy?
- Meaning?

631
00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:04,261
You're overloading
this pint-sized God

632
00:55:04,261 --> 00:55:07,055
His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief

633
00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:10,100
Bother the big God
inside the temple

634
00:55:10,642 --> 00:55:13,019
He'll run fast

635
00:55:13,019 --> 00:55:16,856
Offer Him coconut and money -
He'll deliver

636
00:55:16,856 --> 00:55:18,692
That'll be Rs.. 200

637
00:55:24,155 --> 00:55:28,368
Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done

638
00:55:28,868 --> 00:55:31,538
Full 2 hours later
I got the appointment

639
00:55:31,830 --> 00:55:33,123
God,

640
00:55:34,833 --> 00:55:38,128
please get my remote back

641
00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:42,215
- Where is it?
- Move!

642
00:55:42,549 --> 00:55:44,342
Wait,
He didn't deliver my stuff

643
00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:49,097
He didn't deliver!
See, I paid His fee

644
00:55:49,097 --> 00:55:51,057
- Your work will be done.
- But when?

645
00:55:51,224 --> 00:55:53,685
Can't say when,
but it will be done

646
00:55:53,893 --> 00:55:56,730
- Move on.
- But when will I get it?

647
00:55:56,730 --> 00:55:58,315
Don't block the line, scram!

648
00:55:58,481 --> 00:56:01,234
If I scram,
someone else may get it

649
00:56:01,234 --> 00:56:02,110
Are you tipsy?

650
00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:06,072
Lady, please!
Where will I get my stuff?

651
00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:08,074
At the mental hospital!

652
00:56:08,074 --> 00:56:11,995
What? Cash here,
delivery at mental hospital!

653
00:56:11,995 --> 00:56:14,247
- Throw him out!
- OK, give me a receipt

654
00:56:14,414 --> 00:56:15,081
Cut!

655
00:56:15,248 --> 00:56:18,710
Without a receipt
how do I claim my delivery?

656
00:56:18,710 --> 00:56:21,129
Get out!

657
00:56:21,129 --> 00:56:22,297
But my remote?

658
00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:23,715
Leave!

659
00:56:31,639 --> 00:56:34,309
I can't find my shoes

660
00:56:34,893 --> 00:56:37,979
Someone's taken them.
Now you take your pick

661
00:56:38,396 --> 00:56:41,232
Rotation is routine
at temples

662
00:56:54,746 --> 00:56:59,084
He took the payment,
didn't deliver

663
00:57:03,088 --> 00:57:04,547
What's his name?

664
00:57:04,547 --> 00:57:06,674
- They call Him God
- Real name?

665
00:57:07,008 --> 00:57:08,551
No idea

666
00:57:10,136 --> 00:57:11,346
Where does he live?

667
00:57:12,055 --> 00:57:14,015
In that temple

668
00:57:14,349 --> 00:57:18,186
- You handed him the cash?
- No. Put it in His box

669
00:57:18,186 --> 00:57:20,980
- Said he'd do the job?
- He says nothing

670
00:57:20,980 --> 00:57:22,524
ls he mute?

671
00:57:22,774 --> 00:57:24,359
Perhaps... maybe

672
00:57:24,984 --> 00:57:26,569
Oh...

673
00:57:28,154 --> 00:57:30,198
Describe him

674
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:34,953
Ditto

675
00:57:36,871 --> 00:57:39,207
But a bigger chap

676
00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:41,543
Come near...

677
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:44,838
Are you tipsy?

678
00:57:45,630 --> 00:57:48,341
Yes.
How do you all know?

679
00:57:48,508 --> 00:57:52,011
Think I'm a jackass?
20 years a cop!

680
00:57:52,220 --> 00:57:55,181
Who's tipsy who's not
I can tell in a snap

681
00:57:56,266 --> 00:57:59,185
Frisk him

682
00:58:00,895 --> 00:58:03,273
Let me have a look

683
00:58:04,774 --> 00:58:06,443
Dr D'Mello...

684
00:58:07,152 --> 00:58:11,990
Doc, why get so buzzed
you forget your faith?

685
00:58:12,282 --> 00:58:16,077
Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?

686
00:58:16,828 --> 00:58:21,082
Go to church.
To your own God

687
00:58:23,168 --> 00:58:24,919
Church?

688
00:59:13,468 --> 00:59:14,969
Get out of here

689
00:59:14,969 --> 00:59:17,931
My stuff!
My remote!

690
00:59:18,348 --> 00:59:21,476
God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!

691
00:59:21,976 --> 00:59:25,939
Crucified! When?

692
00:59:26,314 --> 00:59:29,692
2,000 years ago.
For your sins!

693
00:59:30,235 --> 00:59:33,321
What did I do?
I just got here

694
00:59:35,031 --> 00:59:37,200
- Are you tipsy?
- Yes!

695
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,953
God is watching you.
Behave

696
00:59:40,703 --> 00:59:42,163
Where?

697
00:59:42,539 --> 00:59:43,873
Where is God?

698
00:59:44,249 --> 00:59:45,959
What's in the mug?

699
00:59:45,959 --> 00:59:47,252
Wine

700
00:59:47,627 --> 00:59:51,464
Wine!
Now I got it!

701
00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:54,926
God was bored of
coconut water

702
00:59:55,218 --> 00:59:59,013
Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive

703
00:59:59,347 --> 01:00:01,349
So I had to muster money

704
01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:07,647
I got some from the dancing car,
some from a gentleman

705
01:00:07,981 --> 01:00:10,608
who held out a bowl
of dole everyday

706
01:00:11,025 --> 01:00:14,153
You could withdraw
as per need

707
01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:31,004
[Radio Announcement]

708
01:00:34,465 --> 01:00:36,509
Sir, any God house
around here?

709
01:00:36,718 --> 01:00:38,636
Right there

710
01:00:38,845 --> 01:00:47,854
Preacher, let me drink
in God's abode

711
01:00:51,399 --> 01:00:58,072
Or show me a place
where there is no God

712
01:00:59,032 --> 01:01:01,701
Stop!
What's that?

713
01:01:01,993 --> 01:01:03,953
Wine, for God

714
01:01:04,329 --> 01:01:06,164
Where is He?

715
01:01:46,371 --> 01:01:48,623
This lady looked very sad

716
01:01:48,956 --> 01:01:51,751
To know why,
I grabbed her hand

717
01:01:52,043 --> 01:01:54,504
Hitting on a widow,
you lech!

718
01:01:54,837 --> 01:01:56,923
Widow?
How do you know?

719
01:01:57,131 --> 01:01:59,092
Don't you see
she's clad in white?

720
01:02:11,062 --> 01:02:12,146
Is everything fine?

721
01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:14,065
Everything is fine.

722
01:02:15,274 --> 01:02:17,151
Just relax. Smile.

723
01:02:18,653 --> 01:02:21,322
So sorry
your husband's dead

724
01:02:21,322 --> 01:02:22,740
- What?
- When?

725
01:02:22,990 --> 01:02:26,035
How do I know?
You are clad in white

726
01:02:26,035 --> 01:02:28,037
Brides wear white!

727
01:02:28,037 --> 01:02:30,790
No, widows wear white

728
01:02:30,957 --> 01:02:32,583
Widows wear black,
stupid!

729
01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:35,712
Now don't
stress her out. Go!

730
01:02:45,763 --> 01:02:48,099
All three lost your husbands?

731
01:02:48,558 --> 01:02:50,768
I'm alive you moron!
Want a whack?

732
01:02:52,395 --> 01:02:54,647
After many whacks,
I learnt

733
01:02:54,647 --> 01:02:58,067
there wasn't one God.
There were many Gods

734
01:02:58,234 --> 01:03:00,653
Each with His own
set of rules

735
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:03,322
Each God had floated
His own Company

736
01:03:03,990 --> 01:03:05,950
They called it religion

737
01:03:06,367 --> 01:03:09,454
Each Company had
its own agents

738
01:03:09,787 --> 01:03:14,751
All Earthlings belonged to
some religion

739
01:03:15,084 --> 01:03:19,714
and followed the God
of that religion alone

740
01:03:20,298 --> 01:03:23,926
What was my religion,
who was my God?

741
01:03:24,594 --> 01:03:27,346
<i>To find the remote
I had to know my God</i>

742
01:03:43,154 --> 01:03:45,031
What are you doing?

743
01:03:45,364 --> 01:03:46,949
Where is the label?

744
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,951
What label?

745
01:03:49,577 --> 01:03:51,120
The Religion label

746
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:54,707
How do you know which
Company he belongs to?

747
01:03:55,249 --> 01:03:57,835
Where does God
label them?

748
01:03:58,503 --> 01:03:59,420
Security!

749
01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:09,555
Finding my religion
was tough

750
01:04:10,097 --> 01:04:14,936
So I decided to
worship all Gods

751
01:04:15,228 --> 01:04:18,940
One of them would be
my God, who'd help me

752
01:04:19,190 --> 01:04:25,530
It's You who governs
The world I hear

753
01:04:25,988 --> 01:04:31,786
Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me

754
01:04:32,161 --> 01:04:37,291
God where are You

755
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:44,799
Tell me where are You

756
01:04:45,967 --> 01:04:52,682
You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way

757
01:04:52,682 --> 01:04:58,729
<i>I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray</i>

758
01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:04,193
God where are You

759
01:05:05,862 --> 01:05:11,659
Tell me where are You

760
01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:42,273
Shall I worship You
in temples

761
01:05:42,815 --> 01:05:45,735
In mosques
do my faith I show

762
01:05:46,068 --> 01:05:52,033
Or to a gurudwara
would You like me to go

763
01:05:52,867 --> 01:05:59,290
Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere

764
01:05:59,624 --> 01:06:05,630
My hope now,
has turned to despair

765
01:06:06,339 --> 01:06:11,552
My hope now,
has turned to despair

766
01:06:13,137 --> 01:06:19,143
My hope now,
has turned to despair

767
01:06:23,356 --> 01:06:29,153
Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout

768
01:06:30,321 --> 01:06:36,118
Like millions around
I submit without a doubt

769
01:06:36,661 --> 01:06:41,540
God where are You

770
01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:48,297
Tell me where are You

771
01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:23,165
You have many names
And many faces too

772
01:07:23,624 --> 01:07:29,672
I've walked each of the myriad
paths which lead to You

773
01:07:30,297 --> 01:07:36,470
In no shrine did I find You

774
01:07:36,971 --> 01:07:42,101
What else should I do
To find you give a clue

775
01:07:43,769 --> 01:07:49,025
What else should I do
To find you give a clue

776
01:07:50,651 --> 01:07:55,948
What else should I do
To find you give a clue

777
01:08:01,078 --> 01:08:06,792
I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure

778
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:13,549
Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure

779
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:18,637
God where are you

780
01:08:20,765 --> 01:08:25,144
Tell me where are you

781
01:08:27,563 --> 01:08:32,651
God where are you

782
01:08:34,236 --> 01:08:40,451
Tell me where are you

783
01:08:49,668 --> 01:08:52,671
God - I'm all confused

784
01:08:54,507 --> 01:08:59,178
What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?

785
01:09:00,846 --> 01:09:03,349
Understand my plight

786
01:09:03,891 --> 01:09:05,935
Give me some guidance

787
01:09:06,519 --> 01:09:08,479
Please

788
01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:13,234
Shall I talk to you
with hands clasped,

789
01:09:13,651 --> 01:09:18,614
or on bent knees,
head to the ground?

790
01:09:20,991 --> 01:09:23,119
Do I wake you
with temple bells?

791
01:09:23,577 --> 01:09:25,496
Or call out on a loudspeaker?

792
01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:31,919
The Geeta, the Quran,
the Bible - what do I read?

793
01:09:32,503 --> 01:09:36,465
Your different managers
say different things

794
01:09:37,049 --> 01:09:41,637
Some insist fast on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday

795
01:09:42,054 --> 01:09:46,934
Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise

796
01:09:47,768 --> 01:09:51,647
Some say, worship the cow.
Others say slaughter her

797
01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:57,778
Some send me barefoot to the temple,
some wearing shoes to the church

798
01:09:58,195 --> 01:10:00,948
What is right,
what is wrong

799
01:10:01,323 --> 01:10:03,701
I am clueless

800
01:10:05,327 --> 01:10:07,955
I'm at breaking point

801
01:10:10,291 --> 01:10:12,459
I want to go home

802
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:17,131
I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home

803
01:10:17,631 --> 01:10:19,425
Please

804
01:10:21,051 --> 01:10:22,928
Say something

805
01:10:23,971 --> 01:10:25,931
At least one of you...

806
01:10:26,765 --> 01:10:28,934
...give me some answer

807
01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:30,728
Please

808
01:10:32,813 --> 01:10:34,190
Please

809
01:10:35,900 --> 01:10:37,610
Please

810
01:10:48,704 --> 01:10:51,540
Missing: God

811
01:10:58,297 --> 01:10:59,924
Missing: God

812
01:11:09,183 --> 01:11:10,100
Missing: God

813
01:11:45,552 --> 01:11:47,054
Why the lock man?

814
01:11:47,221 --> 01:11:49,223
I gotcha today

815
01:11:49,974 --> 01:11:51,225
on It's my entry! Ty!

816
01:11:51,225 --> 01:11:53,269
Lord Shiva, slayer of sins

817
01:11:53,811 --> 01:11:55,062
who fears none

818
01:11:55,562 --> 01:11:58,023
Security!
Who are you?

819
01:11:58,023 --> 01:12:00,192
Don't you recognize me?

820
01:12:00,818 --> 01:12:02,945
I'm Tipsy!

821
01:12:04,321 --> 01:12:06,699
Where the hell is security?

822
01:12:06,991 --> 01:12:10,452
Do I perform
for boozards in the toilet?

823
01:12:12,121 --> 01:12:14,206
Unlock that door now!

824
01:12:14,456 --> 01:12:16,166
My remote first!

825
01:12:16,166 --> 01:12:19,420
- What remote?
- Of my spaceship

826
01:12:19,837 --> 01:12:20,921
space... ship?

827
01:12:21,171 --> 01:12:24,508
Memory loss?
For the zillionth time,

828
01:12:24,967 --> 01:12:27,803
I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet

829
01:12:27,970 --> 01:12:29,013
Scooch!

830
01:12:29,346 --> 01:12:33,183
Gimme my remote,
and I go home. Got it?

831
01:12:33,767 --> 01:12:37,021
Brother let me go.
I've little kids at home

832
01:12:37,021 --> 01:12:39,565
I know!
You fathered two Gods

833
01:12:39,565 --> 01:12:42,359
Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone

834
01:12:42,359 --> 01:12:44,987
First my remote,
then your family reunion

835
01:12:45,988 --> 01:12:47,489
Oh God, save me please...

836
01:12:47,656 --> 01:12:49,325
There's a God
above you too?

837
01:12:49,325 --> 01:12:50,617
Lord Shiva, help

838
01:12:50,826 --> 01:12:52,494
Where?

839
01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:58,125
Now presenting the dance of Shiva,
the fearless

840
01:12:58,125 --> 01:12:59,209
Help!

841
01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:00,836
Help!

842
01:13:02,963 --> 01:13:04,131
Help!

843
01:13:10,971 --> 01:13:13,474
Help!

844
01:13:14,641 --> 01:13:15,601
Help!

845
01:13:32,618 --> 01:13:35,954
Hail Lord Shiva

846
01:13:54,765 --> 01:13:58,519
Hail Lord Shiva

847
01:13:59,144 --> 01:14:04,775
I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the Himalayas

848
01:14:05,150 --> 01:14:08,320
when, suddenly - light!

849
01:14:08,737 --> 01:14:10,948
Dazzling light!

850
01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:16,954
It came from a bead
lying in the snow

851
01:14:17,871 --> 01:14:22,334
I shut my eyes
and invoked God

852
01:14:22,334 --> 01:14:25,546
Next moment,
I was connected

853
01:14:25,546 --> 01:14:28,298
I said,
"God, enlighten me,"

854
01:14:28,632 --> 01:14:30,968
What is this
miraculous object,

855
01:14:30,968 --> 01:14:34,096
that is warm
even in this biting cold?

856
01:14:34,763 --> 01:14:35,973
God said,

857
01:14:35,973 --> 01:14:40,978
it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace

858
01:14:40,978 --> 01:14:46,859
Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple

859
01:14:47,025 --> 01:14:53,574
Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering

860
01:14:53,574 --> 01:14:56,326
Hail Lord Shiva

861
01:14:57,119 --> 01:14:59,580
Are you ready
for the sighting?

862
01:14:59,997 --> 01:15:02,833
The divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace!

863
01:15:06,628 --> 01:15:11,049
Hail Lord Shiva

864
01:15:11,758 --> 01:15:15,846
Hail Lord Shiva

865
01:15:24,771 --> 01:15:27,232
Hail Lord Shiva

866
01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:29,443
Hail Lord Shiva

867
01:15:29,735 --> 01:15:30,694
Stop.

868
01:15:30,694 --> 01:15:34,990
Let him through.
He's awed by the sight

869
01:15:34,990 --> 01:15:37,075
Come.
- Hail Lord Shiva

870
01:15:37,075 --> 01:15:40,204
Not there child.
Come here

871
01:15:40,579 --> 01:15:42,289
Express your ecstasy

872
01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:44,791
Hail Lord Shiva

873
01:15:45,042 --> 01:15:48,545
Hail Lord Shiva

874
01:15:48,962 --> 01:15:51,381
God, where are you?
Please step out,

875
01:15:51,381 --> 01:15:53,634
I want to thank you

876
01:15:54,968 --> 01:15:56,428
He's right here

877
01:15:56,887 --> 01:15:58,680
I met Him in the toilet

878
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,266
I asked for my property
and He bolted

879
01:16:01,642 --> 01:16:03,435
I thought He vamoosed

880
01:16:03,810 --> 01:16:07,314
But no!
He led me to my property

881
01:16:07,648 --> 01:16:10,025
Hail Lord Shiva

882
01:16:10,984 --> 01:16:13,028
This isn't Lord Shiva's bead

883
01:16:13,278 --> 01:16:16,281
It's my property,
misdelivered to you

884
01:16:16,281 --> 01:16:18,242
Your bead must be
misdelivered too

885
01:16:18,575 --> 01:16:23,288
Ask God, He is right here.
God, do step forward, clarify

886
01:16:25,332 --> 01:16:28,210
Anyway,
I'll take my property

887
01:16:30,254 --> 01:16:33,173
That's mine!
Why're you stopping me?

888
01:16:35,217 --> 01:16:39,054
Hail Lord Shiva

889
01:17:38,989 --> 01:17:44,578
Since when have you felt
you're from another planet?

890
01:17:46,913 --> 01:17:52,919
Listen. You need to see
a psychiatrist

891
01:17:53,962 --> 01:17:58,050
Time up! Rs.. 500 can buy
only this much jail time

892
01:18:04,973 --> 01:18:06,933
Here's my card

893
01:18:07,726 --> 01:18:11,772
My number's on it. I'll get you
an appointment if you wish

894
01:18:12,189 --> 01:18:14,691
Feel free to call. Okay?

895
01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:17,819
Take care

896
01:18:19,821 --> 01:18:21,948
Thank you officer Pandey

897
01:18:23,575 --> 01:18:26,578
You don't believe my story?

898
01:18:28,789 --> 01:18:32,918
Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku

899
01:18:33,502 --> 01:18:35,921
That's the story for you

900
01:18:42,719 --> 01:18:46,306
I need to go back in
for 2 minutes

901
01:18:47,099 --> 01:18:50,268
Quit these entry - exits

902
01:18:50,811 --> 01:18:55,482
Another Rs.. 500,
he's all yours

903
01:18:55,774 --> 01:18:59,319
When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?

904
01:18:59,903 --> 01:19:01,446
You didn't

905
01:19:01,863 --> 01:19:03,657
So how do you know?

906
01:19:04,032 --> 01:19:08,870
When you held my hands,
I read your thoughts

907
01:19:09,913 --> 01:19:11,540
You thought:
this story is dead

908
01:19:11,790 --> 01:19:13,208
I got to live with the
Nikku story

909
01:19:13,542 --> 01:19:16,420
Don't lie!
I must have mentioned it

910
01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:19,923
I cannot lie.
Lies need language

911
01:19:20,132 --> 01:19:23,719
On our planet
we hold hands, read minds

912
01:19:24,761 --> 01:19:25,971
- Gimme your hand.
- No way

913
01:19:26,221 --> 01:19:28,432
- Try it...
- Help me, son

914
01:19:28,765 --> 01:19:33,937
My wife's ill. Hospital wants
a deposit of Rs.. 10,000

915
01:19:34,187 --> 01:19:38,358
I'm Rs.. 500 short.
If you can help...

916
01:19:38,567 --> 01:19:40,110
I'll give you

917
01:19:40,986 --> 01:19:42,028
Here

918
01:19:42,195 --> 01:19:44,990
Give your address.
I'll courier a check

919
01:19:44,990 --> 01:19:48,118
Courier can't reach my home.
Please keep it

920
01:19:48,368 --> 01:19:49,995
Thank you

921
01:19:50,996 --> 01:19:51,997
Sir...

922
01:19:52,706 --> 01:19:55,709
Here's another Rs.. 100.
For the tip

923
01:19:57,961 --> 01:19:59,921
Bless you

924
01:20:01,089 --> 01:20:04,926
Confirmed.
You are no mind reader

925
01:20:05,302 --> 01:20:10,348
You got conned.
There is no hospital around here

926
01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:11,933
I know!

927
01:20:12,100 --> 01:20:15,020
He's gifting his wife
a five star dinner

928
01:20:15,020 --> 01:20:17,230
It's her 75th birthday

929
01:20:17,230 --> 01:20:19,983
She'd never been
to a fancy place

930
01:20:20,233 --> 01:20:23,028
He's been saving from
his pension for months

931
01:20:23,195 --> 01:20:26,573
She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput

932
01:20:26,782 --> 01:20:29,743
With a restroom excuse,
he ran out for some bucks

933
01:20:29,743 --> 01:20:31,119
Another yarn!

934
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:35,415
On our planet, we don't lie

935
01:20:36,374 --> 01:20:38,084
Anyway, it's up to you

936
01:21:38,728 --> 01:21:40,272
- Here.
- Thank you Sir

937
01:21:40,272 --> 01:21:42,941
One moment. Tip him

938
01:21:43,149 --> 01:21:47,612
Why hold back -
it's your birthday!

939
01:21:47,904 --> 01:21:48,947
Thank you

940
01:22:17,976 --> 01:22:19,978
Address: Step-well ruins

941
01:22:44,336 --> 01:22:47,672
I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie

942
01:22:49,758 --> 01:22:51,927
Hope you haven't told anyone...

943
01:22:58,975 --> 01:23:01,019
...that you're an alien?

944
01:23:01,311 --> 01:23:02,479
No way!

945
01:23:02,729 --> 01:23:07,359
They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!

946
01:23:09,319 --> 01:23:12,072
How come you told me?

947
01:23:13,698 --> 01:23:15,283
Ever since
I set foot on this planet

948
01:23:15,575 --> 01:23:18,536
everyone has taken
money from me

949
01:23:18,870 --> 01:23:22,123
You were the first to give it up
for me - dumping Rs.. 5,000 in a box

950
01:23:22,832 --> 01:23:26,336
I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust you

951
01:23:29,881 --> 01:23:32,258
I'll get your remote back, Tipsy

952
01:23:33,551 --> 01:23:34,928
How?

953
01:23:35,387 --> 01:23:39,474
I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home

954
01:23:39,891 --> 01:23:42,143
That's my promise

955
01:24:29,482 --> 01:24:31,526
What are you goggling at?

956
01:24:32,068 --> 01:24:33,069
You

957
01:24:34,112 --> 01:24:36,364
Aliens don't drop by everyday

958
01:24:37,699 --> 01:24:41,828
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?

959
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:45,582
Yup, ditto

960
01:24:45,582 --> 01:24:50,587
And they roam around naked?
Isn't it weird?

961
01:24:51,296 --> 01:24:54,924
That crow is naked -
does he look weird?

962
01:24:55,216 --> 01:24:58,386
If he dons a tie,
he'd look weird

963
01:25:00,472 --> 01:25:03,516
Tipsy, I was awake all night...

964
01:25:04,392 --> 01:25:07,520
...thinking how to get
your remote back

965
01:25:08,396 --> 01:25:09,147
Hello

966
01:25:09,397 --> 01:25:12,067
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4

967
01:25:12,650 --> 01:25:13,777
Wrong number

968
01:25:14,277 --> 01:25:15,904
Isn't this Fortis Hospital?

969
01:25:16,237 --> 01:25:19,199
Since yesterday you've been
dialing this wrong number

970
01:25:19,199 --> 01:25:23,244
Impossible!
I can't be wrong every time!

971
01:25:24,412 --> 01:25:26,873
So how do we get
the remote?

972
01:25:30,168 --> 01:25:33,046
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4

973
01:25:33,046 --> 01:25:36,007
Sorry, Sir.
You've called too late

974
01:25:36,382 --> 01:25:38,176
Balbir died this morning

975
01:25:38,635 --> 01:25:42,764
Huh! How can a
piles surgery be fatal?

976
01:25:43,098 --> 01:25:45,475
Embarrassing,
but don't worry

977
01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:47,936
Death Certificate
will say heart attack

978
01:25:48,228 --> 01:25:50,146
so the family saves face

979
01:25:50,522 --> 01:25:52,565
- Come for the body.
- On my way

980
01:25:52,982 --> 01:25:54,734
Ok, bye

981
01:25:57,612 --> 01:25:59,072
Why did you say that?

982
01:25:59,405 --> 01:26:00,782
Doling out joy

983
01:26:00,990 --> 01:26:05,161
When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!

984
01:26:05,161 --> 01:26:06,037
What!

985
01:26:06,246 --> 01:26:10,333
I was sick of his calls.
So I played a prank

986
01:26:10,959 --> 01:26:14,170
- A prank?
- Tipsy, I was just kidding!

987
01:26:21,136 --> 01:26:22,554
L sot it!

988
01:26:23,596 --> 01:26:26,891
Someone is playing pranks

989
01:26:27,267 --> 01:26:29,727
When His Holiness dials God,

990
01:26:30,061 --> 01:26:33,231
cocking his head,
'God, enlighten me',

991
01:26:33,523 --> 01:26:35,650
his calls are going
to a Wrong Number

992
01:26:36,109 --> 01:26:38,945
Someone out there
plays pranks

993
01:26:39,237 --> 01:26:43,283
The real God won't call
my remote a bead

994
01:26:44,617 --> 01:26:51,332
Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput

995
01:26:51,666 --> 01:26:54,043
All calls to God are going
to a Wrong Number!

996
01:26:54,377 --> 01:26:55,837
As in?

997
01:26:55,837 --> 01:27:00,216
Think - would the real God
give such weird solutions?

998
01:27:00,758 --> 01:27:04,596
Like - come rolling to me,
then I'll help you!

999
01:27:05,013 --> 01:27:07,348
Aren't we God's children?

1000
01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:12,812
Would a father make his kids
roll for help?

1001
01:27:13,438 --> 01:27:18,359
Your Dad ever said - kiddo,
want a new dress? Start rolling!

1002
01:27:19,194 --> 01:27:23,615
Another prank - bathe me
with cow's milk! What bull!

1003
01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:30,246
And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?

1004
01:27:30,538 --> 01:27:35,210
He'd say - millions of my children
are starving on streets

1005
01:27:35,501 --> 01:27:38,504
Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose shower

1006
01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:42,634
I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you just did

1007
01:27:43,218 --> 01:27:45,970
Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks

1008
01:27:46,304 --> 01:27:48,223
I didn't clear his confusion

1009
01:27:48,681 --> 01:27:51,351
for a crazy idea was
forming in my head

1010
01:27:51,684 --> 01:27:55,480
An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote

1011
01:27:56,564 --> 01:27:57,607
Who's this Tipsy?

1012
01:27:58,233 --> 01:28:00,068
That's a mystery

1013
01:28:00,401 --> 01:28:03,238
But the way he sees
this world is unique

1014
01:28:03,613 --> 01:28:06,783
- As in?
- If he saw you smoking,

1015
01:28:07,116 --> 01:28:09,577
he'd call the cops to say
you're attempting suicide

1016
01:28:09,953 --> 01:28:10,662
Why?

1017
01:28:10,662 --> 01:28:13,665
The pack says 'Smoking Kills'
yet you puff away

1018
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:17,085
So what's the big idea?

1019
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:20,171
Face-off

1020
01:28:20,546 --> 01:28:23,341
Between
Tipsy and His Holiness.

1021
01:28:23,841 --> 01:28:26,469
We'll take
the face-off to TV

1022
01:28:27,095 --> 01:28:29,389
Ratings will go
through the roof!

1023
01:28:30,223 --> 01:28:32,976
I have three trident marks
on my right bum

1024
01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:36,062
You want three more on my
left for balance?

1025
01:28:36,437 --> 01:28:37,355
Don't worry

1026
01:28:37,563 --> 01:28:42,527
Tipsy won't fight His Holiness
but gently explain, that...

1027
01:28:42,986 --> 01:28:45,947
...his calls to God are going to
a Wrong Number

1028
01:28:46,489 --> 01:28:49,409
His Holiness will be stumped

1029
01:28:50,034 --> 01:28:50,785
Cherry!

1030
01:28:51,244 --> 01:28:54,580
Tipsy's here.
Just meet him once

1031
01:28:55,039 --> 01:28:57,417
I bet his queries
will baffle you

1032
01:28:57,792 --> 01:28:59,377
Trust me. Please!

1033
01:29:10,096 --> 01:29:12,056
Excuse me,
you dropped this

1034
01:29:12,056 --> 01:29:13,391
Oh, thank you

1035
01:29:16,978 --> 01:29:19,105
That's not mine

1036
01:29:20,606 --> 01:29:23,359
Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavor

1037
01:29:24,736 --> 01:29:27,697
I hate strawberries, man.
Ask these guys

1038
01:29:28,114 --> 01:29:30,491
It's not mine.
Buzzed bozo!

1039
01:29:32,744 --> 01:29:34,954
- Ma'am, yours?
- How dare you!

1040
01:29:35,246 --> 01:29:39,375
- Check your purse if it's missing.
- Shameless lad!

1041
01:29:40,376 --> 01:29:43,212
- Has to be yours.
- No, not mine

1042
01:29:43,546 --> 01:29:45,214
Tipsy, it's his

1043
01:29:45,506 --> 01:29:49,969
Ask him all you want
to know about it. Come on in

1044
01:29:54,390 --> 01:29:55,516
What's this?

1045
01:29:56,642 --> 01:29:58,186
It's a condom

1046
01:29:58,519 --> 01:30:03,232
- What does it do?
- Controls the world's population

1047
01:30:03,941 --> 01:30:04,901
How?

1048
01:30:05,401 --> 01:30:09,697
It has to be worn
while having sex

1049
01:30:12,075 --> 01:30:15,244
How does your wearing it
control the world's population?

1050
01:30:15,411 --> 01:30:18,539
Not just me...
millions wear it

1051
01:30:18,831 --> 01:30:20,750
They all borrow it from you?

1052
01:30:21,042 --> 01:30:22,877
No. Everyone has it

1053
01:30:23,252 --> 01:30:27,048
- I've a question
- Go on Tipsy, shoot

1054
01:30:27,382 --> 01:30:31,552
If money is dropped,
all run for it

1055
01:30:31,761 --> 01:30:37,016
If a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?

1056
01:30:37,558 --> 01:30:39,936
Sex is a very private matter

1057
01:30:40,103 --> 01:30:41,396
Why?

1058
01:30:41,646 --> 01:30:44,982
You don't tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today

1059
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:50,488
But, then at weddings,
with fireworks and music bands

1060
01:30:50,488 --> 01:30:55,410
why do they tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today?

1061
01:30:57,578 --> 01:30:58,913
What's the matter?

1062
01:30:59,664 --> 01:31:04,669
I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you

1063
01:31:05,628 --> 01:31:07,171
Thank you!

1064
01:31:08,214 --> 01:31:11,676
Let's beat it before
he changes his mind

1065
01:31:13,636 --> 01:31:16,139
Shield your holy bum,
Your Holiness

1066
01:31:16,389 --> 01:31:18,349
My trident is on its way

1067
01:31:22,311 --> 01:31:25,731
At this place His Holiness
connects his devotees to God

1068
01:31:25,940 --> 01:31:27,692
for solutions to their woes

1069
01:31:28,109 --> 01:31:31,070
Listen carefully to his calls

1070
01:31:31,070 --> 01:31:37,410
If you think the calls are going
to a Wrong Number, alert him

1071
01:31:37,869 --> 01:31:41,456
- Will that get me my remote?
- Once he realises...

1072
01:31:41,456 --> 01:31:46,210
...the bead story is a prank
he'll return your remote

1073
01:31:46,210 --> 01:31:49,255
Good plan. Let's go

1074
01:31:50,631 --> 01:31:53,843
To build a home for someone
is a holy deed

1075
01:31:53,843 --> 01:31:58,347
To build a home for God
is the holiest deed

1076
01:31:58,931 --> 01:32:01,476
So donate for the temple

1077
01:32:01,809 --> 01:32:04,604
And see
your woes flee

1078
01:32:05,396 --> 01:32:08,941
Son, voice your woe

1079
01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,277
Your Holiness,

1080
01:32:11,986 --> 01:32:14,447
my wife's been paralyzed
for six months

1081
01:32:14,822 --> 01:32:18,451
The doctors have given up.
What shall I...

1082
01:32:20,077 --> 01:32:21,579
God

1083
01:32:22,371 --> 01:32:23,664
Enlighten me

1084
01:32:30,796 --> 01:32:32,173
Yes...

1085
01:32:35,510 --> 01:32:37,720
What place?

1086
01:32:42,558 --> 01:32:44,477
What transport?

1087
01:32:47,146 --> 01:32:49,398
Your wish is our command

1088
01:32:52,193 --> 01:32:54,862
Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?

1089
01:32:54,862 --> 01:32:56,030
No

1090
01:32:56,489 --> 01:33:00,952
It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to Silliguri

1091
01:33:01,786 --> 01:33:04,497
then a bus to Gangtok

1092
01:33:05,373 --> 01:33:09,919
then an eight day trek

1093
01:33:10,461 --> 01:33:15,049
You'll reach a grand temple

1094
01:33:16,008 --> 01:33:19,178
Pray there,
your problem will be solved

1095
01:33:19,387 --> 01:33:21,764
Wrong Number!
This is a Wrong Number!

1096
01:33:22,139 --> 01:33:23,933
- What?
- Wrong Number

1097
01:33:24,308 --> 01:33:29,605
Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput

1098
01:33:30,398 --> 01:33:32,441
Your calls are going to
a Wrong Number

1099
01:33:32,733 --> 01:33:36,487
and a fake God is
playing pranks

1100
01:33:36,696 --> 01:33:39,907
What are you trying to say?

1101
01:33:40,283 --> 01:33:43,119
I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?

1102
01:33:43,786 --> 01:33:44,704
Yes, so?

1103
01:33:44,996 --> 01:33:48,583
Say your kid's in a jam
and comes to you

1104
01:33:49,041 --> 01:33:51,669
Will you help promptly,
or will you say

1105
01:33:51,919 --> 01:33:55,172
kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away

1106
01:33:55,381 --> 01:33:58,384
Come there, tell me
the same problem again

1107
01:33:58,718 --> 01:34:01,095
Then I'll solve it.
What bull!

1108
01:34:01,429 --> 01:34:06,684
If the call went to real God, He'd
say: Son, tend to your ailing wife,

1109
01:34:07,101 --> 01:34:09,395
don't run after me

1110
01:34:09,729 --> 01:34:12,648
after death
you'll come to me anyway

1111
01:34:12,857 --> 01:34:16,444
give her your time now. Right?

1112
01:34:20,740 --> 01:34:23,242
I can prove it's a prank

1113
01:34:23,451 --> 01:34:26,704
Call this fake God
again and ask

1114
01:34:27,038 --> 01:34:29,498
What's the guarantee
she will get well

1115
01:34:29,790 --> 01:34:33,878
Sir, till you get it in writing,
don't leave her side

1116
01:34:34,086 --> 01:34:37,006
Just call,
and clear all doubt

1117
01:34:38,007 --> 01:34:41,260
It's time for His Holiness'
holy silence

1118
01:34:43,012 --> 01:34:52,104
Praise be to God
Glory be to God

1119
01:34:54,774 --> 01:34:59,695
This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead

1120
01:35:00,071 --> 01:35:02,948
He's playing a prank

1121
01:35:04,492 --> 01:35:07,119
He is no God.
He is a fraud

1122
01:35:07,745 --> 01:35:09,664
He is a FRAUD

1123
01:35:09,955 --> 01:35:13,501
God doesn't talk
to us mortals

1124
01:35:14,251 --> 01:35:17,880
He communicates
through His managers

1125
01:35:18,381 --> 01:35:21,801
- Tipsy has raised a big question.
- What?

1126
01:35:23,302 --> 01:35:26,597
Is God really talking
to the managers?

1127
01:35:26,597 --> 01:35:27,556
No

1128
01:35:27,556 --> 01:35:31,811
So where do the commands
for us come from?

1129
01:35:32,186 --> 01:35:35,731
- From a Wrong Number!
- So what should the public do?

1130
01:35:35,981 --> 01:35:39,860
Till phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers

1131
01:35:39,860 --> 01:35:42,446
Help each other
in difficult times

1132
01:35:42,863 --> 01:35:49,912
A great tip from Tipsy:
Don't rely on God's managers

1133
01:35:50,204 --> 01:35:53,124
Rely on each other

1134
01:35:55,292 --> 01:35:59,046
Hail Lord Shiva

1135
01:36:00,381 --> 01:36:04,927
Tipsy says don't make the temple,
the bead belongs to him

1136
01:36:05,094 --> 01:36:07,138
What's in your pocket?

1137
01:36:09,640 --> 01:36:12,351
- Do you smoke?
- Yes

1138
01:36:12,643 --> 01:36:16,772
- You consume alcohol?
- Occasionally

1139
01:36:17,022 --> 01:36:20,317
You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcohol

1140
01:36:20,317 --> 01:36:23,904
despite knowing
their fatal effects

1141
01:36:24,780 --> 01:36:26,949
Governments
permit these poisons,

1142
01:36:27,450 --> 01:36:32,580
factories manufacture them,
stores sell them

1143
01:36:32,747 --> 01:36:34,915
Nobody questions this

1144
01:36:35,249 --> 01:36:42,715
But in this sacred land of
Lord Ram and Krishna

1145
01:36:42,923 --> 01:36:45,509
if I wish to build a temple

1146
01:36:46,385 --> 01:36:48,220
why these questions?

1147
01:36:49,054 --> 01:36:56,395
Why not question the man
who is trying to stall this temple?

1148
01:36:56,771 --> 01:36:58,355
Who's this Tipsy?

1149
01:36:58,856 --> 01:37:00,900
What's his real name?

1150
01:37:02,234 --> 01:37:06,363
Why's he hiding it?
ls he a Muslim?

1151
01:37:07,114 --> 01:37:11,452
If question you must,
go ask Tipsy

1152
01:37:11,452 --> 01:37:13,162
what is his religion?

1153
01:37:13,496 --> 01:37:17,708
Find out his religion,
Find out his faith

1154
01:37:20,628 --> 01:37:23,547
Centuries ago,
Mohammad of Ghazni

1155
01:37:24,423 --> 01:37:26,425
came and destroyed
our temples

1156
01:37:27,051 --> 01:37:31,514
Today another invader
wants to repeat history

1157
01:37:31,806 --> 01:37:32,932
But we won't allow...

1158
01:37:59,834 --> 01:38:04,338
Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him...

1159
01:38:04,505 --> 01:38:07,049
...the religions of these people

1160
01:38:07,049 --> 01:38:11,428
- What nonsense?
- Call up your God!

1161
01:38:11,428 --> 01:38:15,933
Why bother God?
I'll tell you

1162
01:38:16,267 --> 01:38:18,102
This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian...

1163
01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:20,145
...Sikh, Jain and...

1164
01:38:20,479 --> 01:38:23,148
...that one is of your religion

1165
01:38:24,942 --> 01:38:27,528
Enlighten him

1166
01:38:28,028 --> 01:38:31,407
Hello. I'm Sikh

1167
01:38:31,740 --> 01:38:34,994
Greetings.
I'm Muslim

1168
01:38:35,411 --> 01:38:37,496
I'm Jain

1169
01:38:37,496 --> 01:38:39,915
Hi,
I'm Christian

1170
01:38:40,499 --> 01:38:43,752
Hello! I'm Hindu

1171
01:38:44,378 --> 01:38:45,713
Bamboozled!

1172
01:38:46,130 --> 01:38:49,758
I swapped their robes.
Get it?

1173
01:38:50,009 --> 01:38:52,094
Faith is connected
to fashion

1174
01:38:52,094 --> 01:38:55,180
Want a demo?
Check the math

1175
01:38:55,848 --> 01:38:58,475
Beard   moustache   turban = Sikh

1176
01:38:58,976 --> 01:39:01,604
Minus turban = Hindu

1177
01:39:01,854 --> 01:39:05,024
Minus moustache = Muslim!

1178
01:39:05,774 --> 01:39:08,736
This difference is
made by the fake God

1179
01:39:09,069 --> 01:39:11,530
If real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us

1180
01:39:11,530 --> 01:39:14,617
- ls there a label on your body?
- Mine?

1181
01:39:14,617 --> 01:39:17,703
Don't gape, strip and check!

1182
01:39:18,120 --> 01:39:19,955
Why be coy?

1183
01:39:20,497 --> 01:39:25,336
Strip everyone, show His Holiness.
ls there any label?

1184
01:39:25,753 --> 01:39:29,590
Cut the coyness.
OK, I'll go first

1185
01:39:32,092 --> 01:39:34,637
See the bare facts

1186
01:39:35,846 --> 01:39:40,684
ls there a label?

1187
01:39:41,477 --> 01:39:43,020
Nothing! You see!

1188
01:39:43,312 --> 01:39:44,939
Check some more...

1189
01:39:45,439 --> 01:39:47,524
Remove this ruffian

1190
01:39:47,983 --> 01:39:51,070
Hey!
I'm proving a point

1191
01:39:51,236 --> 01:39:53,238
Start the chants!

1192
01:39:53,489 --> 01:39:56,033
Praise be to God
Glory be to God

1193
01:39:56,283 --> 01:40:00,120
That's no divine bead

1194
01:40:08,087 --> 01:40:09,129
Jaggu!

1195
01:40:10,297 --> 01:40:11,632
Stop this farce!

1196
01:40:12,132 --> 01:40:13,092
Papa!

1197
01:40:15,427 --> 01:40:19,515
You were all of 40 days, when
His Holiness christened you

1198
01:40:19,765 --> 01:40:23,477
Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too

1199
01:40:24,186 --> 01:40:26,397
He named me
Jagat Janani

1200
01:40:26,730 --> 01:40:28,148
How can he ruin it further?

1201
01:40:28,482 --> 01:40:31,443
You!
Name your price

1202
01:40:31,777 --> 01:40:32,361
Papa!

1203
01:40:32,611 --> 01:40:35,406
Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money

1204
01:40:35,656 --> 01:40:36,198
No, no

1205
01:40:36,532 --> 01:40:41,370
You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!

1206
01:40:46,458 --> 01:40:49,086
Thank you Papa!
Thank you

1207
01:40:49,962 --> 01:40:53,424
I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together

1208
01:40:53,757 --> 01:40:55,342
Fear is the key

1209
01:40:55,634 --> 01:41:00,973
The prankster is
cashing in on fear. Get it?

1210
01:41:01,515 --> 01:41:04,018
Not exactly,
but can you explain to Papa?

1211
01:41:04,184 --> 01:41:08,105
You bet! I can prove it.
Follow me

1212
01:41:09,398 --> 01:41:11,400
I don't have time
for this nonsense

1213
01:41:11,775 --> 01:41:15,738
If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show

1214
01:41:28,542 --> 01:41:32,921
Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff

1215
01:41:33,213 --> 01:41:38,093
Now, we'll establish our business -
The Fear Factory

1216
01:41:49,313 --> 01:41:51,648
Machine installed

1217
01:41:56,737 --> 01:41:59,531
A little seed capital

1218
01:42:03,494 --> 01:42:06,997
Now the inauguration

1219
01:42:16,173 --> 01:42:21,011
Just watch!
Capital doubles in 15 minutes

1220
01:42:26,975 --> 01:42:28,435
Look there

1221
01:42:30,562 --> 01:42:32,147
The first customer!

1222
01:42:32,815 --> 01:42:36,068
Tea... piping hot tea

1223
01:42:36,527 --> 01:42:38,821
Check the investment
of the tea vendor

1224
01:42:39,196 --> 01:42:42,491
Kettle, tea, sugar, bike,
thermos

1225
01:42:42,950 --> 01:42:46,495
And here -
a rock and a red mark

1226
01:42:46,787 --> 01:42:48,455
Hot and piping tea...

1227
01:42:48,705 --> 01:42:50,916
There, you gotta
woo the clients

1228
01:42:51,208 --> 01:42:54,002
Here you shoo them away

1229
01:42:54,211 --> 01:42:58,382
Hey, scram.
Give others a chance

1230
01:43:01,051 --> 01:43:03,345
There you bow
before the customer

1231
01:43:03,637 --> 01:43:05,931
Here the customer
bows before you

1232
01:43:08,433 --> 01:43:12,521
If he's in deep trouble,
he goes horizontal

1233
01:43:13,605 --> 01:43:17,985
The Wrong Number guy
trades in fear

1234
01:43:18,402 --> 01:43:21,405
He knows - those in dread
to the temple head

1235
01:43:22,197 --> 01:43:25,075
You too seem afraid!
Off with these...

1236
01:43:26,410 --> 01:43:28,912
Do not question religion

1237
01:43:29,496 --> 01:43:31,623
It's a matter of faith!

1238
01:43:31,957 --> 01:43:34,334
If God didn't want us
to raise questions

1239
01:43:34,668 --> 01:43:38,505
He wouldn't give us
the power to reason

1240
01:43:39,173 --> 01:43:42,676
Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us

1241
01:43:43,177 --> 01:43:46,763
They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent

1242
01:43:47,431 --> 01:43:51,768
So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there'll be a thousand

1243
01:43:52,519 --> 01:43:55,022
Friends, pick up your phones

1244
01:43:55,397 --> 01:44:00,277
When you spot a Wrong Number,
shoot it and send it to us

1245
01:44:00,736 --> 01:44:02,946
We'll put it on TV

1246
01:44:03,405 --> 01:44:05,365
Dump your fear,
ask questions

1247
01:44:15,125 --> 01:44:17,002
Holy Sir!

1248
01:44:17,419 --> 01:44:18,795
One question

1249
01:44:18,795 --> 01:44:21,131
If you can conjure gold
from thin air

1250
01:44:21,423 --> 01:44:24,176
why don't you end
the nation's poverty?

1251
01:44:24,468 --> 01:44:26,345
Answer please

1252
01:44:27,137 --> 01:44:28,222
Holy Sir!

1253
01:44:28,222 --> 01:44:33,018
Since you're a walking gold mine,
why ask us for donations?

1254
01:44:35,520 --> 01:44:37,814
God is great!

1255
01:44:38,106 --> 01:44:40,359
This is a Wrong Number

1256
01:44:40,567 --> 01:44:44,029
- Jaggu... come with me
- Cherry give me a moment

1257
01:44:44,404 --> 01:44:48,242
Come with me

1258
01:44:48,408 --> 01:44:50,285
The Wrong Number idea
is a national rage

1259
01:44:50,786 --> 01:44:54,122
- What!
- It's spread like wild fire

1260
01:44:59,586 --> 01:45:02,339
Guru says - to land a job,
feed a cow

1261
01:45:02,631 --> 01:45:06,134
ls this cow
an employment agent?

1262
01:45:06,385 --> 01:45:10,097
Or posts CVs on Monster.com?
Wrong Number

1263
01:45:10,264 --> 01:45:11,348
Watch this one!

1264
01:45:12,057 --> 01:45:14,518
He says, convert to
Christianity, or be damned

1265
01:45:14,977 --> 01:45:18,522
If God wanted,
I'd be Christian by birth

1266
01:45:18,981 --> 01:45:21,525
Why convert now?
Wrong Number

1267
01:45:22,901 --> 01:45:24,486
These girls want to
go to school

1268
01:45:24,861 --> 01:45:27,948
A new dictat says:
kill them if they do

1269
01:45:28,156 --> 01:45:32,744
ls God so small,
He'll deny children knowledge?

1270
01:45:33,412 --> 01:45:34,955
Wrong Number

1271
01:45:35,539 --> 01:45:38,917
What God has destined for you
will happen

1272
01:45:39,376 --> 01:45:43,422
He has a master plan
for the Universe

1273
01:45:44,006 --> 01:45:45,632
Accept it

1274
01:45:45,966 --> 01:45:50,387
Your disciples say:
to get a male child,

1275
01:45:50,595 --> 01:45:55,058
buy this book,
and chant the mantras

1276
01:45:55,392 --> 01:45:59,021
So buy a Rs.. 10 book

1277
01:45:59,021 --> 01:46:01,815
and bust
God's master plan!

1278
01:46:11,158 --> 01:46:15,287
Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in

1279
01:46:15,495 --> 01:46:17,164
Here's one more

1280
01:46:22,169 --> 01:46:23,337
What happened?

1281
01:46:24,254 --> 01:46:28,175
It's Papa. He's ashamed
I'm his daughter

1282
01:46:32,012 --> 01:46:34,639
I was in tenth grade

1283
01:46:35,932 --> 01:46:38,518
when I wrote my first poem

1284
01:46:39,227 --> 01:46:41,271
For Papa

1285
01:46:42,272 --> 01:46:47,611
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible,

1286
01:46:48,445 --> 01:46:51,573
but I'm my Daddy's girl

1287
01:46:51,990 --> 01:46:54,368
I recited it
on the Annual Day

1288
01:46:54,993 --> 01:46:56,912
All parents clapped

1289
01:46:57,371 --> 01:47:01,333
but one whistled with joy

1290
01:47:02,542 --> 01:47:06,588
The applause ended,
the whistling continued

1291
01:47:07,589 --> 01:47:09,132
It was Papa

1292
01:47:09,633 --> 01:47:11,676
He was so proud of me

1293
01:47:13,136 --> 01:47:17,599
And now this message.
Ashamed of you

1294
01:47:18,266 --> 01:47:23,397
There's a Wrong Number
in your Papa's head

1295
01:47:24,147 --> 01:47:29,694
The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again

1296
01:47:30,153 --> 01:47:31,822
It won't happen

1297
01:47:32,447 --> 01:47:35,450
Don't be sad. Come with me

1298
01:47:35,450 --> 01:47:39,621
On my planet when people are sad,
know what they do?

1299
01:47:40,122 --> 01:47:41,456
What?

1300
01:47:41,790 --> 01:47:44,459
Recharge the battery!

1301
01:47:44,793 --> 01:47:47,504
- What!
- Just copy me

1302
01:47:52,759 --> 01:47:54,344
What are we doing?

1303
01:48:00,392 --> 01:48:02,102
Shut your eyes!

1304
01:48:02,269 --> 01:48:04,104
How do I copy then?

1305
01:48:04,104 --> 01:48:05,939
Right.
Keep them open

1306
01:49:40,242 --> 01:49:43,203
To steal glances at you all day

1307
01:49:43,495 --> 01:49:46,206
To strain for every word you say

1308
01:49:46,581 --> 01:49:49,459
To put every chore aside

1309
01:49:49,834 --> 01:49:52,796
And follow your every stride

1310
01:49:53,004 --> 01:49:55,549
That's nothing but a
waste of time

1311
01:49:56,132 --> 01:49:58,927
Love is a waste of time

1312
01:49:59,386 --> 01:50:01,930
Amore is nothing more

1313
01:50:02,389 --> 01:50:05,350
Love is a waste of time

1314
01:50:05,934 --> 01:50:08,895
But my mind and heart insist

1315
01:50:09,145 --> 01:50:11,898
Once in this life at least

1316
01:50:12,399 --> 01:50:14,693
I must waste my time

1317
01:50:15,110 --> 01:50:17,779
Without reason or rhyme

1318
01:50:18,321 --> 01:50:21,116
I want to waste my time

1319
01:50:21,449 --> 01:50:24,035
I love this waste of time

1320
01:50:41,177 --> 01:50:45,515
A zillion peeps into the mirror

1321
01:50:47,475 --> 01:50:52,230
A million times
I've styled my hair

1322
01:50:53,982 --> 01:50:59,112
Countless sets of
clothes I've tried

1323
01:51:00,405 --> 01:51:04,951
Emptied perfume
bottles with flair

1324
01:51:06,578 --> 01:51:12,334
Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile

1325
01:51:13,209 --> 01:51:15,962
Now I understand

1326
01:51:16,296 --> 01:51:18,923
That love is waste of time

1327
01:51:19,382 --> 01:51:22,344
But my mind and heart insist

1328
01:51:22,636 --> 01:51:25,639
Once in this life at least

1329
01:51:25,972 --> 01:51:28,391
I must waste my time

1330
01:51:28,683 --> 01:51:31,478
Without reason or rhyme

1331
01:51:31,978 --> 01:51:34,731
I want to waste my time

1332
01:51:35,106 --> 01:51:38,360
I love this waste of time

1333
01:52:13,978 --> 01:52:18,525
My world has
topsy-turvy turned

1334
01:52:20,610 --> 01:52:25,490
I know not how to tell you

1335
01:52:26,991 --> 01:52:31,913
I smile without rhyme
or reason

1336
01:52:33,206 --> 01:52:37,752
What's happening
I have no clue

1337
01:52:39,587 --> 01:52:45,343
The mind just wants to soar
And from rooftops yell

1338
01:52:46,010 --> 01:52:52,100
Now I understand
Love is a waste of time

1339
01:52:52,392 --> 01:52:55,520
But my mind and heart insist

1340
01:52:55,729 --> 01:52:58,523
Once in this life at least

1341
01:52:58,857 --> 01:53:00,984
I must waste my time

1342
01:53:01,943 --> 01:53:04,487
Without reason or rhyme

1343
01:53:04,738 --> 01:53:07,782
I want to waste my time

1344
01:53:08,074 --> 01:53:11,453
I love this waste of time

1345
01:53:51,117 --> 01:53:54,245
The donation box is getting
more questions than cash

1346
01:53:54,579 --> 01:53:59,417
Your relics don't sell anymore

1347
01:53:59,959 --> 01:54:04,047
Millions of abuses on
Facebook and Twitter

1348
01:54:05,548 --> 01:54:08,885
- Just five?
- Those are in support

1349
01:54:09,302 --> 01:54:11,221
The abuses are in here

1350
01:54:11,930 --> 01:54:18,061
It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous

1351
01:54:22,690 --> 01:54:24,234
Missing: God

1352
01:54:24,567 --> 01:54:25,985
Call Cherry Bajwa

1353
01:54:26,694 --> 01:54:30,490
Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one

1354
01:54:30,740 --> 01:54:33,618
- Hey Jaggu
- What happened?

1355
01:54:34,619 --> 01:54:38,039
His Holiness wants to come
on the show. To debate with Tipsy

1356
01:54:38,248 --> 01:54:40,917
- Tipsy'll rip him!
- It'll be a mother of a show!

1357
01:54:41,251 --> 01:54:44,546
Get Tipsy ready.
Put the promos out

1358
01:54:44,963 --> 01:54:48,675
'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm

1359
01:54:50,552 --> 01:54:55,098
Don't miss, 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm

1360
01:54:55,265 --> 01:55:00,019
My pal's become a star!
Hey look, he's a rock star

1361
01:55:00,228 --> 01:55:03,940
Rock star was
roaming butt naked

1362
01:55:04,232 --> 01:55:09,362
I made him a star.
The bloke's on TV

1363
01:55:09,946 --> 01:55:15,994
and me - in this shanty town,
this crappy shack

1364
01:55:16,411 --> 01:55:20,748
guzzling booze with
a jackass like you

1365
01:55:20,957 --> 01:55:23,084
Star my foot!

1366
01:55:39,183 --> 01:55:41,644
Tipsy, some
Bhairon Singh for you

1367
01:55:41,978 --> 01:55:43,062
Bhairon!

1368
01:55:43,271 --> 01:55:44,981
Take that line

1369
01:55:46,399 --> 01:55:48,735
- Bro!
- You lusty lad

1370
01:55:48,985 --> 01:55:50,945
You're a rock star!

1371
01:55:51,112 --> 01:55:53,364
Bro, where are you?

1372
01:55:53,531 --> 01:55:56,618
In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow

1373
01:55:56,951 --> 01:55:59,579
With a gift for you

1374
01:56:00,038 --> 01:56:04,334
I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff

1375
01:56:04,709 --> 01:56:07,629
He sold it for 40 grand

1376
01:56:08,296 --> 01:56:10,423
- Guess to whom.
- Whom?

1377
01:56:11,049 --> 01:56:14,344
His Holiness!

1378
01:56:16,596 --> 01:56:23,561
God said: it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva 's necklace. Take it...

1379
01:56:24,103 --> 01:56:29,817
...and enshrine it in a grand temple.
Sighting this bead...

1380
01:56:30,026 --> 01:56:31,361
HEY;

1381
01:56:32,654 --> 01:56:34,822
what happened?

1382
01:56:35,323 --> 01:56:38,993
The thief who stole
my remote is caught

1383
01:56:39,285 --> 01:56:40,620
What! Really?

1384
01:56:40,870 --> 01:56:46,209
Bro said, the thief sold it to
His Holiness

1385
01:56:46,376 --> 01:56:48,211
Then His Holiness is finished!

1386
01:56:48,962 --> 01:56:52,674
We'll tell him -
return the remote,

1387
01:56:53,049 --> 01:56:55,343
or the thief tells all on TV

1388
01:56:56,135 --> 01:57:01,599
So he didn't find my remote
in the Himalayas! He's lying

1389
01:57:02,642 --> 01:57:06,813
Wrong Numbers are not
floated by some fake God...

1390
01:57:07,313 --> 01:57:09,482
...but by His Holiness

1391
01:57:11,943 --> 01:57:14,237
You knew this Jaggu?

1392
01:57:14,404 --> 01:57:16,739
Remember the day
you mentioned Wrong Number

1393
01:57:17,073 --> 01:57:21,995
All his calls are going
to a Wrong Number

1394
01:57:22,286 --> 01:57:26,916
I knew then you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum

1395
01:57:27,250 --> 01:57:30,920
If you'd called him a fraud,
people would have killed you

1396
01:57:31,170 --> 01:57:33,256
People crave for the unique

1397
01:57:33,464 --> 01:57:35,091
Wrong Number!

1398
01:57:35,383 --> 01:57:38,219
Your Wrong Number
concept was unique

1399
01:57:38,511 --> 01:57:41,055
Today the world supports you

1400
01:57:41,264 --> 01:57:45,810
Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!

1401
01:57:50,481 --> 01:57:53,901
You'll fly away tomorrow,
my friend

1402
01:57:54,193 --> 01:57:56,946
Whoosh... gone

1403
01:57:58,656 --> 01:58:01,451
We'll never meet again

1404
01:58:03,036 --> 01:58:06,164
There will be such a void

1405
01:58:07,373 --> 01:58:10,126
I'll really miss you

1406
01:58:11,919 --> 01:58:13,921
Shall I stay back?

1407
01:58:16,841 --> 01:58:19,343
How can you?

1408
01:58:20,219 --> 01:58:23,514
Simple,
I have a job

1409
01:58:24,098 --> 01:58:27,143
I'll get some ID made
and settle here

1410
01:58:27,602 --> 01:58:31,773
I'll find someone to
'waste time' with me

1411
01:58:32,398 --> 01:58:34,817
I'll marry her

1412
01:58:35,151 --> 01:58:37,820
- Who'll marry you!
- Why not?

1413
01:58:38,237 --> 01:58:42,617
Your wife will go nuts
introducing you -

1414
01:58:43,409 --> 01:58:46,996
Meet my husband.
He's Tipsy!

1415
01:58:47,997 --> 01:58:51,209
That's not my name!

1416
01:58:51,375 --> 01:58:54,087
- Tipsyyy!
- I'll get a real name

1417
01:58:55,379 --> 01:59:01,135
Why don't you suggest one?
A name you love

1418
01:59:01,928 --> 01:59:07,558
A man's name must
match his personality

1419
01:59:07,850 --> 01:59:09,352
Right!

1420
01:59:09,602 --> 01:59:12,146
So how is my personality?

1421
01:59:12,480 --> 01:59:14,357
I'll explain

1422
01:59:15,066 --> 01:59:17,652
A poet once wrote...

1423
01:59:19,403 --> 01:59:22,365
Irony of mismatched names...

1424
01:59:22,615 --> 01:59:25,910
No poetry, please!
I've something to say

1425
01:59:26,536 --> 01:59:30,998
Who says
'What's in a name?'

1426
01:59:32,500 --> 01:59:36,254
If you don't get the right one,
what a pain

1427
01:59:37,296 --> 01:59:41,175
Mr Burns is in fact so cool

1428
01:59:41,551 --> 01:59:44,345
With violence alone
Mr Peace does rule

1429
01:59:45,847 --> 01:59:51,352
His name is Mr Fox
But has no bushy tail

1430
01:59:52,395 --> 01:59:57,024
"I love you Jaggu"

1431
01:59:57,400 --> 02:00:01,362
One whole ton is the
weight of Mr Flower

1432
02:00:01,988 --> 02:00:05,783
At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower

1433
02:00:05,992 --> 02:00:07,618
Very nice... very nice

1434
02:00:07,952 --> 02:00:11,372
Here's a bunch of cards
with different names

1435
02:00:11,789 --> 02:00:15,209
Pick the one you like

1436
02:00:15,418 --> 02:00:18,045
Danduram Thatte?

1437
02:00:18,504 --> 02:00:20,965
- Disaster!
- Next!

1438
02:00:21,716 --> 02:00:23,384
Tutari Singh?

1439
02:00:23,843 --> 02:00:25,469
phooey!

1440
02:00:26,596 --> 02:00:28,181
Sarfaraz

1441
02:00:32,643 --> 02:00:35,229
- Sarfaraz...
- What happened?

1442
02:00:35,521 --> 02:00:38,274
Keep going,
find a good name

1443
02:00:41,694 --> 02:00:43,279
What's the matter?

1444
02:00:43,946 --> 02:00:45,489
Nothing

1445
02:01:38,042 --> 02:01:39,919
"I love you Jaggu"

1446
02:01:54,058 --> 02:01:55,768
Brother!

1447
02:02:28,384 --> 02:02:32,054
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground

1448
02:02:32,430 --> 02:02:35,766
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground

1449
02:02:36,392 --> 02:02:40,354
Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around

1450
02:02:40,563 --> 02:02:44,525
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground

1451
02:02:52,658 --> 02:02:56,120
Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand

1452
02:02:56,537 --> 02:03:00,499
Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand

1453
02:03:00,791 --> 02:03:05,171
Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound

1454
02:03:52,760 --> 02:03:56,097
A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast

1455
02:03:56,430 --> 02:03:59,600
They say this was
a mock drill

1456
02:04:00,184 --> 02:04:02,812
Persecute our people,
and real war will follow

1457
02:04:03,187 --> 02:04:06,065
We shall protect our God

1458
02:04:27,420 --> 02:04:29,588
Where are you
going, Tipsy?

1459
02:04:30,423 --> 02:04:31,632
On the show

1460
02:04:32,007 --> 02:04:34,009
You don't have to

1461
02:04:36,387 --> 02:04:38,931
I must.
More than ever

1462
02:04:53,446 --> 02:04:58,701
'The Final Question'
Welcome to our special show

1463
02:04:58,993 --> 02:05:00,536
in which we meet Tipsy...

1464
02:05:00,536 --> 02:05:02,496
Wait a minute

1465
02:05:08,461 --> 02:05:10,337
Bring it

1466
02:05:15,968 --> 02:05:17,720
What is this?

1467
02:05:18,053 --> 02:05:22,641
God says: it's a divine bead
from His necklace

1468
02:05:22,975 --> 02:05:26,520
This man claims,
it's his property

1469
02:05:27,396 --> 02:05:30,774
God says: build a temple

1470
02:05:31,400 --> 02:05:34,820
And this man opposes it

1471
02:05:35,112 --> 02:05:40,451
Who do I listen to?
God, or this gentleman

1472
02:05:40,951 --> 02:05:46,582
who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?

1473
02:05:48,083 --> 02:05:51,086
First he claimed,
God is missing

1474
02:05:51,754 --> 02:05:53,714
Then said, God is a fraud

1475
02:05:54,006 --> 02:05:57,718
Next he'll say,
God is dead

1476
02:05:59,220 --> 02:06:04,725
What do you want, son?
A world without God?

1477
02:06:06,977 --> 02:06:11,398
Do you have any clue
how people suffer?

1478
02:06:11,857 --> 02:06:14,109
No food to eat

1479
02:06:14,818 --> 02:06:16,779
No place to live

1480
02:06:17,696 --> 02:06:20,407
No friend to talk to

1481
02:06:20,991 --> 02:06:27,498
People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings

1482
02:06:27,915 --> 02:06:31,919
Why?
Because they have no hope

1483
02:06:32,378 --> 02:06:36,924
If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,

1484
02:06:37,633 --> 02:06:42,346
wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,

1485
02:06:42,680 --> 02:06:47,351
then who are you
to snatch away that hope?

1486
02:06:47,977 --> 02:06:56,026
And if you snatch away their God,
how will you fill that void?

1487
02:06:56,986 --> 02:07:00,990
This man rants about
Wrong Numbers

1488
02:07:01,407 --> 02:07:07,246
Today he must tell us:
what is the Right Number?

1489
02:07:15,087 --> 02:07:18,132
You are right, Your Holiness

1490
02:07:18,924 --> 02:07:24,346
There was a time
I too had no food to eat

1491
02:07:25,180 --> 02:07:26,932
No place to live

1492
02:07:27,474 --> 02:07:32,521
I cried a lot
because I had no friend

1493
02:07:33,981 --> 02:07:37,192
I had only one hope then -

1494
02:07:39,737 --> 02:07:41,488
God

1495
02:07:42,531 --> 02:07:45,659
Each day I hoped:
tomorrow will be better

1496
02:07:46,076 --> 02:07:48,746
God will find a solution

1497
02:07:50,539 --> 02:07:57,254
I agree
belief in God gives hope,

1498
02:07:58,589 --> 02:08:02,760
the strength to face ordeals

1499
02:08:04,011 --> 02:08:06,430
But I have one question

1500
02:08:09,475 --> 02:08:12,394
Which God shall I believe in?

1501
02:08:13,395 --> 02:08:16,649
You say there is ONE God

1502
02:08:17,608 --> 02:08:19,526
I say no

1503
02:08:20,569 --> 02:08:22,071
There are TWO Gods

1504
02:08:23,614 --> 02:08:25,741
One who created us

1505
02:08:27,493 --> 02:08:31,205
And the other
whom you created

1506
02:08:32,164 --> 02:08:35,376
We know nothing about
the God who made us

1507
02:08:35,918 --> 02:08:40,547
But the God YOU made up,
is just like you

1508
02:08:40,964 --> 02:08:45,427
Petty.
Takes bribes, makes false promises

1509
02:08:45,636 --> 02:08:49,640
Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting

1510
02:08:50,057 --> 02:08:53,394
Thrives on flattery.
Makes you live in fear

1511
02:08:55,437 --> 02:08:57,690
My Right Number is simple

1512
02:08:59,233 --> 02:09:03,946
The God who created us all,
believe in Him

1513
02:09:05,447 --> 02:09:08,784
The God YOU created -

1514
02:09:09,743 --> 02:09:11,912
abolish him

1515
02:09:12,287 --> 02:09:13,580
Yes!

1516
02:09:14,123 --> 02:09:18,085
You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?

1517
02:09:18,460 --> 02:09:22,464
I know how to
protect my God

1518
02:09:22,756 --> 02:09:24,550
You will protect God?

1519
02:09:25,300 --> 02:09:27,136
You!

1520
02:09:27,428 --> 02:09:29,096
This is a puny planet

1521
02:09:29,847 --> 02:09:32,683
Billions of bigger planets
float in space

1522
02:09:32,975 --> 02:09:37,688
And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to say

1523
02:09:37,980 --> 02:09:41,567
you will protect Him,
who created the Universe?

1524
02:09:42,693 --> 02:09:47,364
He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself

1525
02:09:50,993 --> 02:09:56,373
Today someone tried to
protect God and my friend died

1526
02:09:57,374 --> 02:10:00,127
This is all that's left-
his shoe

1527
02:10:00,794 --> 02:10:03,088
Stop protecting God

1528
02:10:03,672 --> 02:10:07,092
Or this planet will have
no humans, only shoes

1529
02:10:07,426 --> 02:10:09,803
A Muslim terrorist
blows up a train

1530
02:10:10,721 --> 02:10:16,101
and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice

1531
02:10:16,393 --> 02:10:21,273
What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label

1532
02:10:22,441 --> 02:10:25,235
You created these differences.
Not God

1533
02:10:25,986 --> 02:10:31,909
This is the deadliest
Wrong Number of this planet

1534
02:10:32,201 --> 02:10:34,787
It kills people,
separates them

1535
02:10:35,287 --> 02:10:40,167
Like your Wrong Number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz

1536
02:10:40,375 --> 02:10:46,340
- What Wrong Number?
- That Sarfaraz will betray

1537
02:10:46,673 --> 02:10:49,176
He did betray her

1538
02:10:49,384 --> 02:10:53,764
- What's going on?
- Hold it

1539
02:10:55,808 --> 02:11:02,940
You say my prediction
about Sarfaraz was wrong?

1540
02:11:03,232 --> 02:11:04,483
Exactly!

1541
02:11:04,483 --> 02:11:08,612
Then prove it-
prove my prophecy wrong!

1542
02:11:08,821 --> 02:11:13,283
Failing that,
fall at my feet and admit

1543
02:11:13,534 --> 02:11:17,371
that you are a liar.
You tried to defame me

1544
02:11:18,163 --> 02:11:20,207
What if I prove it?

1545
02:11:20,499 --> 02:11:22,251
Tipsy... don't!

1546
02:11:28,257 --> 02:11:29,925
Then this is yours

1547
02:11:35,973 --> 02:11:37,474
I accept

1548
02:11:38,016 --> 02:11:42,688
Turn the cameras towards
Jagat Janani

1549
02:11:48,944 --> 02:11:55,534
I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully

1550
02:11:58,036 --> 02:12:03,083
In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy

1551
02:12:04,543 --> 02:12:05,752
True or false?

1552
02:12:06,169 --> 02:12:08,380
Please spare my personal life

1553
02:12:08,589 --> 02:12:17,139
On Friday, at 3:21 pm
I predicted this boy will betray you

1554
02:12:17,556 --> 02:12:21,935
The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's office

1555
02:12:22,436 --> 02:12:24,146
but he didn't show up

1556
02:12:24,730 --> 02:12:27,107
True or false?

1557
02:12:27,316 --> 02:12:30,485
Yes, he didn't come.
Please stop this

1558
02:12:31,987 --> 02:12:38,160
Now will you come to my feet
or do I walk my feet to you?

1559
02:12:38,493 --> 02:12:42,456
- Sarfaraz did not betray.
- Please let it go!

1560
02:12:42,456 --> 02:12:45,042
No. Tell us
what happened that day

1561
02:12:45,375 --> 02:12:46,668
Please!

1562
02:12:46,960 --> 02:12:50,422
Just once,
for my sake

1563
02:12:55,385 --> 02:12:58,388
I was at the Marriage
Registrar's office and

1564
02:12:58,847 --> 02:13:00,724
a letter was brought to me

1565
02:13:00,724 --> 02:13:02,935
Did Sarfaraz bring it?

1566
02:13:04,937 --> 02:13:08,982
No.
He sent it through a kid

1567
02:13:09,274 --> 02:13:12,152
- Was it signed?
- No

1568
02:13:12,402 --> 02:13:16,198
How do you know
Sarfaraz sent it?

1569
02:13:19,326 --> 02:13:23,455
It could have been
for some other girl

1570
02:13:26,166 --> 02:13:30,754
There was another girl.
With a cat, right?

1571
02:13:32,714 --> 02:13:36,677
She gave you the cat
to hold for a while

1572
02:13:37,678 --> 02:13:41,348
The kid who gave you the letter-
did he know you?

1573
02:13:41,598 --> 02:13:44,351
- No!
- Did you know him?

1574
02:13:44,935 --> 02:13:45,769
No

1575
02:13:45,936 --> 02:13:49,523
Then how would he know
the letter was for you?

1576
02:13:50,816 --> 02:13:57,406
Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat

1577
02:13:59,616 --> 02:14:06,039
You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz

1578
02:14:06,581 --> 02:14:08,875
Did you?

1579
02:14:09,626 --> 02:14:16,800
Because this man planted
a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray

1580
02:14:17,217 --> 02:14:19,386
Sarfaraz didn't betray you

1581
02:14:19,594 --> 02:14:20,929
What's going on?

1582
02:14:21,430 --> 02:14:26,435
You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?

1583
02:14:26,435 --> 02:14:27,728
One minute

1584
02:14:28,186 --> 02:14:32,190
We'll get to the truth right now.
Call Sarfaraz

1585
02:14:32,441 --> 02:14:34,568
Hurry UP!

1586
02:14:36,737 --> 02:14:40,240
This number does not exist

1587
02:14:41,116 --> 02:14:44,327
Any other number?
Friend, college, something?

1588
02:14:44,619 --> 02:14:47,664
- C'mon Jaggu!
- Belgium University

1589
02:14:52,252 --> 02:14:54,129
- Hello.
- Hello!

1590
02:14:54,129 --> 02:14:58,133
I actually need to get in touch with
one of your grad students

1591
02:14:58,383 --> 02:14:59,926
Sarfaraz Yousuf

1592
02:15:00,093 --> 02:15:02,345
Oh yeah.
He left for Pakistan last year

1593
02:15:03,388 --> 02:15:05,015
Has he left a number?

1594
02:15:05,015 --> 02:15:07,601
Sorry, we are not authorized
to give out information

1595
02:15:07,934 --> 02:15:09,644
This is really important

1596
02:15:09,644 --> 02:15:12,439
E-mail us your request and
I can forward it to Student Affairs

1597
02:15:12,814 --> 02:15:14,191
Have a nice day dear

1598
02:15:14,441 --> 02:15:16,401
His Pakistan number?

1599
02:15:16,401 --> 02:15:19,446
- Don't know.
- Think, Jaggu darling

1600
02:15:20,405 --> 02:15:22,908
I work at the
Pakistan Embassy

1601
02:15:23,408 --> 02:15:26,036
His job -
Pakistan Embassy, Belgium

1602
02:15:26,703 --> 02:15:29,081
Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy,
Belgium

1603
02:15:29,081 --> 02:15:31,333
- Copy sir.
- Put it on the speakers

1604
02:15:34,711 --> 02:15:36,546
Greetings.
Pakistan Embassy

1605
02:15:37,255 --> 02:15:38,673
Hello

1606
02:15:40,300 --> 02:15:43,386
A student from Lahore
worked with you

1607
02:15:43,720 --> 02:15:47,432
- Sarfaraz Yousuf.
- ls your name Jaggu?

1608
02:15:50,227 --> 02:15:52,562
Hello... is your name Jaggu?

1609
02:15:53,105 --> 02:15:54,689
How do you know?

1610
02:15:55,148 --> 02:15:58,819
She's called!
The girl from Delhi has called

1611
02:15:58,985 --> 02:16:00,779
Farah, it's Jaggu calling

1612
02:16:00,779 --> 02:16:04,366
Mr Sayyed, hurry,
it's Jaggu's call from India

1613
02:16:04,699 --> 02:16:07,202
On the double everyone!

1614
02:16:09,955 --> 02:16:15,669
Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us
from Lahore, every day at 9 am

1615
02:16:16,628 --> 02:16:20,715
And with impeccable politeness
asks just one question:

1616
02:16:21,133 --> 02:16:25,887
Was there a call for me
from India - from Jaggu?

1617
02:16:26,179 --> 02:16:29,182
We say "No",
and he disconnects

1618
02:16:29,516 --> 02:16:31,351
He's driven us crazy

1619
02:16:31,685 --> 02:16:34,271
Wait.
I'll connect you to him

1620
02:16:49,578 --> 02:16:50,662
Hello...

1621
02:16:51,621 --> 02:16:54,875
- Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf?
- Yes, speaking

1622
02:16:55,250 --> 02:16:59,087
- Where are you?
- In Lahore. Why?

1623
02:16:59,504 --> 02:17:04,467
- Where are you right now?
- At home. Why?

1624
02:17:05,051 --> 02:17:08,763
Is there a chair or
a bench nearby?

1625
02:17:09,181 --> 02:17:13,393
Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt

1626
02:17:14,686 --> 02:17:16,646
Pardon me?

1627
02:17:18,273 --> 02:17:20,483
You have a call from Delhi

1628
02:17:26,406 --> 02:17:28,992
Please speak here

1629
02:17:29,534 --> 02:17:31,745
Hello...

1630
02:17:32,662 --> 02:17:35,373
Sarfaraz...

1631
02:17:38,752 --> 02:17:40,378
Jaggu...

1632
02:17:42,422 --> 02:17:43,924
Hello...

1633
02:17:45,133 --> 02:17:48,261
...hello Jaggu,
what's the matter?

1634
02:17:50,138 --> 02:17:52,557
Had you come to the
Marriage Registrar's office?

1635
02:17:52,557 --> 02:17:56,353
I had,
but you had left

1636
02:17:57,270 --> 02:17:58,980
Why didn't you call?

1637
02:17:59,314 --> 02:18:04,569
I got your letter.
You'd said, 'Don't contact me'

1638
02:18:05,528 --> 02:18:08,031
I knew you were
under family pressure

1639
02:18:08,281 --> 02:18:14,579
But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me

1640
02:18:17,082 --> 02:18:20,418
What took you so long?

1641
02:18:21,378 --> 02:18:25,674
I am sorry.
I had your Wrong Number

1642
02:18:33,014 --> 02:18:37,519
Just got the right number
from a friend

1643
02:19:03,044 --> 02:19:04,754
Thank you son

1644
02:19:39,581 --> 02:19:41,374
Here, hold this

1645
02:20:05,648 --> 02:20:08,943
Tipsy! You're taking
batteries home?

1646
02:20:09,277 --> 02:20:13,948
- Don't get them there.
- So many! For what?

1647
02:20:14,282 --> 02:20:18,119
Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded

1648
02:20:18,411 --> 02:20:19,704
What sounds?

1649
02:20:20,080 --> 02:20:24,417
Earth sounds -
crows, traffic honking

1650
02:20:24,626 --> 02:20:26,961
Up there, you'll listen
to cars honking?

1651
02:20:27,295 --> 02:20:32,175
Now and then -
when I miss this planet

1652
02:20:34,511 --> 02:20:38,014
Hey, wait!
There's one more bag

1653
02:20:38,181 --> 02:20:39,766
Forget it, Tipsy!

1654
02:20:39,766 --> 02:20:43,436
You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries

1655
02:20:43,686 --> 02:20:46,064
Wait!

1656
02:20:49,109 --> 02:20:52,404
Driver... please stop!

1657
02:21:06,126 --> 02:21:09,879
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?

1658
02:21:11,131 --> 02:21:14,259
And they roam around naked?

1659
02:21:15,760 --> 02:21:18,721
Why are you staring?
Something on my face?

1660
02:21:22,934 --> 02:21:28,356
I was in tenth grade,
when I wrote my first poem,

1661
02:21:30,024 --> 02:21:31,818
for Papa

1662
02:21:32,944 --> 02:21:38,283
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible...

1663
02:21:45,665 --> 02:21:49,419
Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts

1664
02:21:52,046 --> 02:21:53,923
Pal, you're really cute

1665
02:21:55,717 --> 02:21:59,179
Here's to the
teetotaler called Tipsy

1666
02:22:00,096 --> 02:22:03,975
Who says
"What's in a name?"

1667
02:22:05,185 --> 02:22:09,189
No tape had sounds of
crows or traffic honking

1668
02:22:09,981 --> 02:22:13,067
Every tape had
just my voice

1669
02:22:20,783 --> 02:22:22,744
"I love you Jaggu"

1670
02:22:27,290 --> 02:22:28,917
Got it!

1671
02:22:34,297 --> 02:22:36,799
He sure made me run!

1672
02:22:40,053 --> 02:22:43,348
Tipsy, what's in these tapes?

1673
02:22:43,973 --> 02:22:47,018
Told you -
crows, traffic honking

1674
02:22:59,405 --> 02:23:03,785
Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes

1675
02:23:05,078 --> 02:23:10,542
And wave at you.
Like this

1676
02:23:12,752 --> 02:23:16,589
Will you wave back...
now and then?

1677
02:23:18,633 --> 02:23:21,553
Haven't you recorded my voice?

1678
02:23:22,053 --> 02:23:24,514
Your voice?

1679
02:23:24,973 --> 02:23:29,102
I think I have...
that one poem you recited

1680
02:23:30,270 --> 02:23:32,939
One poem? That's it?

1681
02:23:36,025 --> 02:23:38,528
I'm not exactly
in love with you...

1682
02:23:38,987 --> 02:23:41,990
...to waste all my time
over you!

1683
02:24:00,967 --> 02:24:04,137
He didn't look back.
Not once

1684
02:24:04,429 --> 02:24:06,639
He was hiding his tears

1685
02:24:07,557 --> 02:24:12,437
One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us

1686
02:24:12,937 --> 02:24:15,440
He learnt from us
how to lie...

1687
02:24:15,940 --> 02:24:20,069
...and taught us
how to love

1688
02:24:21,029 --> 02:24:23,990
He loved me enough
to let me go

1689
02:24:24,657 --> 02:24:29,954
He came here naked.
As children do

1690
02:24:31,164 --> 02:24:36,919
Asked a lot of questions.
As children do

1691
02:24:39,130 --> 02:24:42,216
And then one day...

1692
02:24:43,676 --> 02:24:46,763
...he went away

1693
02:24:47,597 --> 02:24:52,060
Four billion miles away

1694
02:24:53,394 --> 02:24:57,523
He left me two parting gifts

1695
02:24:59,400 --> 02:25:01,653
Sarfaraz

1696
02:25:02,445 --> 02:25:05,365
and Papa

1697
02:25:07,533 --> 02:25:14,666
Till I live... every night I'll look
at his planet and wave

1698
02:25:16,751 --> 02:25:21,506
I'm sure,
he'll do the same

1699
02:25:24,467 --> 02:25:27,470
I miss him

1700
02:26:06,300 --> 02:26:10,680
Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth

1701
02:26:10,680 --> 02:26:14,726
Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments

1702
02:26:15,017 --> 02:26:17,812
One:
Do not roam around naked

1703
02:26:18,187 --> 02:26:23,568
Cuddling, making love etc.
must be done in closed rooms

1704
02:26:23,776 --> 02:26:27,655
But fighting, making war etc.
is allowed in the open

1705
02:26:28,030 --> 02:26:31,826
Two: Beware of language,
it's confusing

1706
02:26:31,826 --> 02:26:35,538
If Earthlings say,
'I love chicken and fish,'

1707
02:26:35,788 --> 02:26:39,333
it doesn't mean
they love animals,

1708
02:26:39,667 --> 02:26:44,046
but that animals are
on the lunch menu

1709
02:26:44,380 --> 02:26:49,135
The gap between thought and
speech is our topic of research

1710
02:26:49,761 --> 02:26:53,473
Three: On landing,
find dancing cars for clothes

1711
02:26:53,473 --> 02:27:00,646
Hide your remotes deep in your
underwear, safe from thieves

1712
02:27:00,980 --> 02:27:04,233
Four: the mother commandment

1713
02:27:04,233 --> 02:27:08,571
If anyone says:
I'll connect you to God,

1714
02:27:08,821 --> 02:27:13,242
dump the research, take a U-turn
and run for your life

1715
02:27:25,713 --> 02:27:28,424
Come, don't be afraid

1716
02:27:33,679 --> 02:27:36,349
What are you goggling at?

1717
02:27:37,141 --> 02:27:39,894
- I have a question.
- What?

1718
02:27:40,978 --> 02:27:45,691
On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?

1719
02:27:53,658 --> 02:27:56,327
- What's this?
- Self-defense!

1720
02:27:56,702 --> 02:27:58,788
Safety gadgets?

1721
02:27:59,121 --> 02:28:02,416
- Let's go.
- Not there! This way

1722
02:28:02,625 --> 02:28:03,793
Kaput!