1
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,851
[man] Good evening, I
welcome you to the third and final

2
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,937
of the 2016
presidential debates.

3
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,498
[Donald Trump] We either
have a country, or we don't.

4
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,500
[Hillary Clinton] Rounding up
people who are undocumented...

5
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,067
[Donald] We have
some bad hombres here.

6
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,503
[Hillary] ...is an idea
that is not in keeping

7
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,796
- with who we are as a nation.
- [Trump] I tell it like it is.

8
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,156
[Hillary] I'm happy to compare
my 30 years of experience...

9
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,676
[Donald] The one thing you have over
me is experience, but it's bad experience.

10
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,496
<i>We are going to make America
great again and it has to start now.</i>

11
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,916
[Hillary] I hope you will give me a
chance to serve as your president.

12
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,105
[woman] Donald Trump told the
American people the truth tonight

13
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,504
as he always does.

14
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:48,131
[man] Hillary Clinton
is the real outsider.

15
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,259
Look, whatever you
think you saw tonight...

16
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,720
You didn't. You actually saw what I saw,
and I think that the American people...

17
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,765
- Would agree with me.
- As long as I say it repeatedly, doggedly.

18
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,059
And with unearned confidence.

19
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,727
I lie.

20
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,688
I am lying to you.

21
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,482
And you know I lie. I'm
actually in this position

22
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,569
because of how effectively
I lie to you. Are we clear?

23
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,946
We call this the spin
room, without shame.

24
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,949
Spinning is something
you do to disorient people.

25
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,451
And you all know that
and yet, here we are.

26
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,328
What a wonderful
play we're putting on.

27
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,623
Thank you all so much.
And fuck you, America.

28
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,393
I look forward to lying
to you in the future.

29
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,626
See you at the bar.

30
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,628
- [reporters shouting questions]
- Thank you.

31
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,552
[grunts]

32
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,566
[man] Shock waves
across America.

33
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,027
[woman] The surprise victory
defied preelection polling.

34
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,322
[man 2] Tectonic plates shifting,
9.5 on the Richter scale earthquake.

35
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:56,217
[man 3] So that's just a snapshot of
the reaction we're getting this morning.

36
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,911
<i>We're still trying to get our good
old pal Gary Zimmer to talk to us.</i>

37
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,835
[woman] He's probably
halfway to Canada by now.

38
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,790
[man 3] Yeah, maybe
halfway to Candadian Club.

39
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,376
<i>I'd love to ask this guy
what the hell he was thinking.</i>

40
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,754
How did they blow this election?

41
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,673
Hey, guys, did you find
the clip? You got it? Okay.

42
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,425
This is our good
friend Gary Zimmer,

43
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:16,219
<i>grand old consigliere
of the Clinton campaign,</i>

44
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,264
not even a week
ago on this program.

45
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,229
- So you're confident?
- [Gary] Oh, no question.

46
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,518
Hillary's made her case.

47
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:26,772
She is the most qualified
presidential candidate,

48
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,565
certainly in my
lifetime... maybe ever.

49
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,567
[woman] Donald Trump
will not be president.

50
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,778
[Gary] Well, he is
doing well in the South.

51
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,572
So maybe he can be
president of the Confederacy.

52
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,658
[woman] But Ohio,
Michigan, Pennsylvania...

53
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,493
[Gary] Mika, he's not
winning Pennsylvania,

54
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,702
he's not winning Michigan.

55
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,997
That Rust Belt blue wall
Is impenetrable. If holds.

56
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,582
[Southern accent] "I guarantee."

57
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,960
[Mika] Well, you decided to spend
almost no time there campaigning.

58
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,606
[man] Was that a Carville
impression? All right, so wait a minute.

59
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,882
- Tommy, try Gary again.
- [Gary] Google, off.

60
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,551
- We have Faith Brewster on the line.
- Hey, Google, off.

61
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:59,388
[automated voice] Sorry, power
controls is not yet supported.

62
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:00,764
Phone lady, decline.

63
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,767
- Try asking again in a different way.
- Hang up.

64
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,018
Hey, Google, tell
phone lady to hang up.

65
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,871
[automated voice] Sorry, I'm
not sure how to help with that yet.

66
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,898
- Off, off! Hey, Google, disengage!
- Sorry, I'm still not sure about that.

67
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,543
- Songs aren't available on SiriusXM.
- Abort! Everybody, shut up!

68
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,778
[automated voice] Try
asking again in a different way.

69
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,990
["Still the Same" by
Bob Seger playing]

70
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:38,635
<i>♪ You always won Every
time you placed a bet ♪</i>

71
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,558
<i>♪ You're still damn good ♪</i>

72
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,893
<i>♪ No one's gotten to you yet ♪</i>

73
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:55,068
<i>♪ Every time they were
sure They had you caught ♪</i>

74
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:59,197
<i>♪ You were quicker
than they thought ♪</i>

75
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:04,327
<i>♪ You'd just turn
your back and walk ♪</i>

76
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,039
<i>♪ And you're still the same ♪</i>

77
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:13,587
<i>- ♪ I caught up with you yesterday ♪
- ♪ Still the same, still the same ♪</i>

78
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,797
<i>♪ Moving game to game ♪</i>

79
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:20,594
<i>2> No one standing in your way ♪</i>

80
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,806
<i>♪ Turning on the charm ♪</i>

81
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:30,437
<i>- ♪ Long enough to get you by ♪
- ♪ Still the same, still the same ♪</i>

82
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,398
<i>♪ You're still the same ♪</i>

83
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:40,071
<i>♪ You still aim high ♪</i>

84
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,871
<i>♪ Still the same,
still the same ♪</i>

85
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,504
[mooing]

86
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:24,741
[over radio] <i>♪ There's been
a load of compromisin' ♪</i>

87
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:28,411
<i>♪ On the road to my horizon ♪</i>

88
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,622
<i>♪ But I'm gonna be ♪</i>

89
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:35,293
<i>♪ Where the lights
are shinin' on me ♪</i>

90
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,714
<i>♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪</i>

91
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:47,097
<i>♪ Riding out on a horse
In a star-spangled rodeo ♪</i>

92
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,394
<i>♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪</i>

93
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:59,693
<i>♪ Getting cards and letters
From people I don't even know ♪</i>

94
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:05,115
<i>♪ And offers comin'
over the phone ♪</i>

95
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,375
[man] So if there is
no further discussion,

96
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:19,462
<i>can I get a motion to vote
on resolution 1217, requiring</i>

97
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:24,134
a valid Wisconsin driver's
license or proof of US citizenship

98
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:28,346
to qualify for any state or
municipality program or benefit

99
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:32,434
such as food stamps,
welfare, and so on and so forth.

100
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,894
- [man 2] So moved.
- Second.

101
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,770
- Second.
- I have a second. It's time...

102
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,734
- Excuse me, fellas.
- Jack, I already told you.

103
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,233
You can widen the easement
on Hamburg, just leave enough...

104
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,487
Actually, it's about that resolution
you're thinking about passing.

105
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,240
With all due respect, Colonel,
that discussion has ended.

106
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,368
Yeah. Yeah, so
I heard. But, uh...

107
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:54,873
the thing is that,
um... it's a bad idea.

108
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,627
- You can't...
- Okay, well, I already seconded it.

109
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,379
- But, whatever.
- [Jack] I know we're in a bad spot, but...

110
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,966
You can't bring it back by
throwing these people under the bus.

111
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,636
We're not throwing anybody
under anything, Jack.

112
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,681
Money was tight when the
base was still open, but now...

113
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,269
I mean, we just gotta be smart. We
got to eliminate cheating the programs.

114
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,730
There's not a damn soul
using those programs

115
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,333
that doesn't need
'em and you know it.

116
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:24,444
And all they need to do is produce
the acceptable ID and the benefits will...

117
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:29,115
- And you know they can't do that.
- Well... I don't make the rules, Jack.

118
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:36,122
I mean, I do... I guess. Not
by myself. But this is over.

119
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,416
Yeah.

120
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,836
[Braun] Okay, we have a
motion that has been seconded.

121
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,965
- It is time to bring it to a vote.
- Uh, you know, just curious.

122
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,592
You know when
the river backed up,

123
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:51,721
and the folks you think might be cheating
stood shoulder to shoulder with us,

124
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:56,893
stuffing sandbags for three days
straight, ended up saving your store...

125
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,980
- You check their IDs then?
- [Braun] Discussion's closed, Jack.

126
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,274
You checking IDs when they're
bringing food to the church potlucks?

127
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,651
- [gavel banging]
- Walt?

128
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,113
Enough, Jack. You had your say.

129
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,662
Look, we got rules here, but
that don't make us bad people.

130
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:19,541
I'm not saying you're a bad person,
Billy. I'm saying you're scared.

131
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,419
Hell, we all are.

132
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:27,132
Damn town went from
15,000 to five overnight,

133
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,009
and business went with it.

134
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,679
We're not bringing it back
by turning on each other.

135
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,684
Corps taught me the chain's
only as strong as its weakest link.

136
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:43,857
And Father Heuvel here taught
me that I am my brother's keeper.

137
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,610
- [Gary] Go back to that "weak link" part.
- [man] Yeah, okay. Yeah.

138
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,405
I mean, could this guy work?

139
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,575
Corps taught me the chain's
only as strong as its weakest link.

140
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,661
- Hmm. Pretty good.
- Mm-hmm.

141
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,998
[Jack] Father Heuvel here taught
me that I am my brother's keeper.

142
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,084
Whatever you do for the
least of us, you do for the Lord.

143
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,920
[Gary] Looks conservative,
sounds progressive.

144
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,338
[Jack] The point is...

145
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,176
it's easy to be strong of
character in the good times.

146
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,804
The fest is the bad times.

147
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,557
If you can't live your
principles then, well,

148
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,852
I guess they aren't
principles, they're just hobbies.

149
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,149
- Where is this again?
- Wisconsin. Deerlaken.

150
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,110
- Deerlaken.
- Mm-hmm.

151
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,904
Gentlemen,

152
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,865
this square-jawed
paragon of Americana

153
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:37,160
is our goddamn key
back in the forbidden city.

154
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,662
- Well, that's my stop.
- [Gary] Sit. Kurt, sit.

155
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,665
- Call me when he gets here.
- Nope, you're not going anywhere. No, sit.

156
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,877
And we have Alan to thank for
bringing this man to our attention.

157
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,045
It's Evan.

158
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:50,048
Did I happen to mention that he is
a veteran of the US Marine Corps?

159
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,050
- Yes.
- And a farmer?

160
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,886
And did I happen to
mention that he's a widower.

161
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,096
Impressive.

162
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,807
A man who makes Joe the Plumber
look like Dukakis in Mom Jeans

163
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,683
and a fucking Easter bonnet

164
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:07,107
in the reddest of counties in the
great now-swing state of Wisconsin is...

165
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,276
a Democrat.

166
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,986
He's a Democrat?

167
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,948
Yeah. He just
doesn't know it yet.

168
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,701
[Gary] Here's the idea. I get
on a plane and I go to Wisconsin

169
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,206
and I use this guy to road-test
a more rural-friendly message.

170
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,543
It's a mayoral race in
the middle of nowhere.

171
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,877
I don't get how this helps us.

172
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,296
There are two million rural
votes in these states alone.

173
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,049
If we lost them 2.7
to 1 instead of 3 to 1,

174
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,343
we win, but we didn't even try.

175
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,928
Their base turned
out, ours didn't.

176
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,889
If we find a candidate
to activate our base,

177
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,976
if our African-Americans...

178
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,829
[thick Latino accent]
and Latino communities...

179
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,522
- It's just Latino.
- ...Show up, we win.

180
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,025
We have to get the rural voters
back into the tent. Even just a little bit.

181
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,862
Well, if it's all the same to
you, I'll stick with pandering

182
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,447
to our special-interest groups.

183
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,158
Thank you very much.

184
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:02,495
[all] Sí, se puede.
Sí, se puede.

185
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,914
I like the idea of
expanding our base.

186
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,876
Not taking any
voter for granted.

187
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,962
It does have some merit.

188
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,820
[woman] Okay, so we'll make sure
a car comes here and picks you up.

189
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,929
- And we'll make sure the driver is Frank.
- Okay.

190
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,575
It's a two-hour flight, but you'll
gain an hour when you get there.

191
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,685
- [sighs] What is that?
- The 7 Series.

192
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,770
It was the closest thing
they had to your Tesla.

193
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,189
Just take a Sharpie and write

194
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,191
"liberal city douchebag"
on my forehead, okay?

195
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,650
- Come on, guys.
- Yup.

196
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,194
Um, Accord?

197
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:37,447
I'm traveling to America.
Explorer, neutral color.

198
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,241
- And pack me like a conference.
- Davos? TED?

199
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,619
- Aspen, weekend package.
- Great.

200
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,080
Thank you. Oh, and, guys.
You know what? Keep it simple.

201
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,166
- Simple, no frills. Thank you.
- Got it.

202
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,626
- Sure.
- Great.

203
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:54,672
Although if the Explorer has a Bose
or a Bang and Olufsen sound package,

204
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,174
if they have it, it'd be good.

205
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,592
- Great.
- Gotcha.

206
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:02,305
- Did they say anything about catering?
- Not yet.

207
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,557
- Those little mozzarella balls are great.
- Yeah.

208
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:08,019
- Caprese salad. Something light. Balsamic.
- Balsamic, all that jazz.

209
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,437
Cool.

210
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,818
- Nothing.
- Cool.

211
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,238
[laughing] That's fun.

212
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,784
[football commentator
speaking on TV]

213
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,288
- Here you go, Mr. Zimmer.
- Oh, thank you.

214
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:31,125
[narrator] Trailing by three
points with time running out,

215
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:37,215
the Packers roll 68 yards across
the frozen field and into legend.

216
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,593
[telecast continues]

217
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,347
With only three minutes to play,

218
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,725
<i>all the hopes and
dreams of an entire season</i>

219
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,894
rested on the
shoulders of one man.

220
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:53,773
[over radio] <i>♪ Like a
rhinestone cowboy ♪</i>

221
00:12:55,566 --> 00:13:01,447
<i>♪ Riding out on a horse
In a star-spangled rodeo ♪</i>

222
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,327
- [station switches]
- This is Fresh Air. I'm Terry Gross.

223
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,454
[sighs]
- Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein

224
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:12,250
had one of the most successful
musical partnerships of the 20th century.

225
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:17,338
[man] But I also think its a canard that
Hammerstein can't write funny songs.

226
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,008
[Terry] She's got a beautiful
voice, So let's hear her singing

227
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,801
"Everybody's Got a Home But Me."

228
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,555
Will you set the scene for us about
where this song fits into the show?

229
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,933
[man] Well, this young prostitute
has just arrived in Monterey.

230
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,439
[people chattering]

231
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:37,942
Hello.

232
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,695
- Evening.
- Hey.

233
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:44,407
- What can I get ya?
- How about a Bud and a burger?

234
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,786
That sounds good.
Thank you so much.

235
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,538
Sure thing. Coming up.

236
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,083
[man] Hey, Charlie.

237
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,590
- Tough day?
- A long day. Traveling.

238
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,343
- Oh, yeah? Where from?
- Washington, ♪.C.

239
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,346
Man, I ain't been there
since like a school trip.

240
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,347
Can't even remember how
many years ago that was.

241
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,182
- It was 29. Twenty-nine years.
- Was it?

242
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,100
Twenty-nine years. Ms.
Heuvel's history class.

243
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,995
- That's what it was.
- Ms. Heuvel's history class.

244
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,830
Security guards chased us
out of the Space Museum.

245
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,707
Well, we beat the dog
shit out of the little kids.

246
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,732
[laughter]

247
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:21,235
Well, you guys aren't missing
anything. It is a nightmare down there.

248
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,404
- Oh, yeah.
- No argument there.

249
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,073
Yeah. You can say that again.

250
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,492
- Mike Staadt.
- Hey.

251
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,535
- We call him Big Mike.
- Yeah.

252
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:33,039
- People call me Big Mike for some reason.
- Well, it's because... To tell us apart.

253
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,225
Because I'm... My name is
Mike, too. But I'm Little Mike.

254
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,876
Hey. How are you? Gary.

255
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,003
- Nice to meet you.
- Gary.

256
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,130
Gary from ♪.C. ♪.C. Gary.

257
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,132
He likes to give
everybody nicknames,

258
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,819
so that's why he's giving you a
nickname right now, which I don't think...

259
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,513
- It shows friendship and affection.
- Yeah, but he doesn't need...

260
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,324
- If you don't like yours, I'll take...
- No, I'm fine.

261
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,351
- Well, I appreciate it, Little Mike.
- Okay, thank you, ♪.C. Gary.

262
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,604
- Hey, this is our new friend, ♪.C. Gary.
- Hey. How are you?

263
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,898
- Dave.
- My name is Gary and I'm from ♪.C., so...

264
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,661
- That works.
- Well, welcome to Deerlaken.

265
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,902
- Thank you.
- Ever been to Wisconsin before?

266
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,738
- I spent a fair amount of time in Madison.
- So that's a no.

267
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:06,906
[laughter]

268
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,324
That's not Wisconsin.

269
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,427
Actually, I'm here to see Jack
Hastings. Do you know him?

270
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,246
- Oh, yeah.
- Everybody knows Jack, the colonel.

271
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,081
- Great guy.
- YouTube star.

272
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,126
We've got some rooms
upstairs, if you need.

273
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,253
- Sure, that sounds good.
- Tonya.

274
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,964
- Yeah, baby?
- This gentleman here would like a room.

275
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,716
Oh, sure. What do you need, hon?

276
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,637
- Uh, anything. Any room is fine.
- Okay.

277
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,724
If you have something on a high floor
with a king bed and a coffeemaker...

278
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,811
- Okay, everything is on the second floor.
- Perfect.

279
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,374
- They're all pretty much the same.
- That's perfect. I'm easy.

280
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,566
- Anything is fine.
- Take 206, it's the biggest.

281
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:44,861
- They're all unlocked.
- Okay. Thank you so much, Tonya.

282
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,406
- Hey, so, ♪.C. Gary.
- Yep?

283
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,950
- You ever been to the White House?
- I have.

284
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,035
- What's that like?
- What's that like?

285
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,830
- It's a lot smaller than you think.
- Really?

286
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,308
[Little Mike] 'Cause I don't think
we got by there on that student trip.

287
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:01,127
- Must not have been built at that point.
- Oh, that looks delicious.

288
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,296
Thank you so much. Do
you have a bottle opener?

289
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,132
- That's a... No, that's just a twist.
- Bud twist-off.

290
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,050
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know. I know.

291
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,155
- Maybe he does need a bottle opener.
- Maybe use your vest.

292
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,930
- Maybe European grip.
- I got it.

293
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,348
- There we go.
- There we go.

294
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,516
Cheers.

295
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,018
- Hey.
- Cheers.

296
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,352
- Cheers.
- Here's to you.

297
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:21,772
- Cheers.
- Budweiser. Mmm.

298
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,524
Mmm.

299
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,735
[sniffs] Mm-hmm.

300
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,990
You gotta be kidding me.

301
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,290
[sighs] Okay.

302
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,583
[grunting]

303
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:42,585
All right.

304
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,380
[straining] All right!
It's fine, it's fine.

305
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,049
It's fine!

306
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,675
All right.

307
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,762
- [door rattling]
- And it's... fucking locked.

308
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,305
Goddamn it.

309
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,265
[sighs] Shit.

310
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,893
Oh, fuck this.

311
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,938
Oh, Deerlaken.

312
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,190
Love it.

313
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,283
Okay.

314
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,578
[man] Everything all right?

315
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,082
- Yes. Hello?
- It's Dave.

316
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,917
- Yes?
- From Hofbrau Haus.

317
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,211
- [Gary] Downstairs?
- Yes.

318
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:27,838
- Oh. Okay.
- Everything all right?

319
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,758
Yeah, I was just looking
for a Wi-Fi password.

320
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,095
- Good luck.
- Case-sensitive?

321
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,389
No, good luck getting Wi-Fi.

322
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,599
You're better off
using your phone.

323
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,685
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.

324
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,729
- All right, very good. Thank you.
- Sure.

325
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,566
- Goodbye.
- Night, Gar.

326
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,491
[sighs]

327
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,878
[Dave] Everything all right?

328
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,688
[man] Hey, ♪.C. Gary!

329
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:27,982
Hey, Gary.

330
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,568
Hey.

331
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,362
Good morning, Gary.

332
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,246
- Excuse me, Gary.
- Hi, Gary.

333
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,129
- [woman] Well, hello, Gary.
- Hey.

334
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,214
The Mikes told me
that you're up from ♪.C.

335
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,384
and I figured that you might be
on the hunt for some good caffeine.

336
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,677
Yes, um...

337
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,431
- Sure. May I have a...
- Coffee?

338
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,683
- A coffee.
- Cream, two sugars.

339
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,061
Not how I like it, but, good.

340
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,272
And if you don't mind, when you
head up to Jack's, can you give him this?

341
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,192
Jack, he gets a little cranky
if he doesn't get his Linzers.

342
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,485
[laughs]

343
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:16,155
Oh, and I put a little
streusel in there for you, too.

344
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,115
Just made it. Still warm.

345
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:23,996
- Mmm. Okay.
- No, no, no.

346
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,706
You're saving me a trip, so...

347
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,418
[both laugh]

348
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,922
- Um, okay.
- Okay.

349
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,761
- Bye, Gary.
- Okay, bye!

350
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,723
- Have a good one.
- Thank you! You have a good one.

351
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,685
Hey, guys, have a good one.

352
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,062
Hey, lady, have a good one.

353
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,023
All right. Is everybody
having a good one?

354
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,526
What the fuck?

355
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,122
Oh, my God.

356
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,249
Oh, fuck!

357
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,344
Oh! Fuck me!

358
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:21,887
Oh, God!

359
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,347
[grunting]

360
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:41,782
[coughs]

361
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:43,701
Mmm.

362
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,710
- [car door opens, closes]
- [car alarm honks]

363
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,511
- [dogs barking]
- [Gary] God! Aah!

364
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,556
[grunting]

365
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:06,807
Oh, God!

366
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,227
[Jack] Sonny!
Muffin! Stand down.

367
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,062
Oh. Hey.

368
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,982
You Ann's new delivery guy?

369
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:18,694
[chuckles] I'm sorry. I'll go back
and get you some more of those.

370
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,198
No, it's fine. I'll probably end up
giving them most of 'em anyway.

371
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,325
[chuckles]

372
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,953
Um, okay. Okay.

373
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,289
That's an angry labradoodle.

374
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:34,084
Oh. It's really
beautiful out here.

375
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,879
Really takes me back.

376
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,756
Are you a farm boy?

377
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:42,468
Uh, no. Political consultant.

378
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,220
[shouts]

379
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:47,223
Well, sir, I saw your
video on the Internet.

380
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,516
The town hall you busted up.

381
00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:50,267
- [shouts]
- Um...

382
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:54,230
your comments on the responsibility
to the least of us moved me deeply.

383
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,524
- Grab a bucket.
- And I'll grab a bucket.

384
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,692
And here they come. Okay.

385
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:03,280
I think, increasingly, we have
lost the capacity to see each other.

386
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,535
Empathy for those
that we don't resemble.

387
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,537
Not to say partisanship
has no place,

388
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:14,250
but certainly not at the level of toxicity
that our current debate incorporates.

389
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,839
[Gary] "No man left behind"
is your ethos as a marine.

390
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:22,633
I think it's especially
poignant in this day and age.

391
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:26,762
Your words spoke to values,
not identity. So important.

392
00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:37,439
[squishing]

393
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,401
Ohh.

394
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,194
[grunts]

395
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:46,240
[exhales, groans]

396
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:50,494
It was Abraham Lincoln who said,
"An appeal to our better angels."

397
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,621
[toilet flushes]

398
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,082
[door opens]

399
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:02,131
You came out of there
pretty fast. Did you wash?

400
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,185
[sighs]

401
00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:20,065
Okay. Here it is.

402
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:26,155
I want you to be the Democratic
candidate for mayor of Deerlaken.

403
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,517
Now, I know you probably
don't think that you're a Democrat,

404
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:33,662
but after watching your speech,
I can assure you that you are.

405
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:37,374
And I would like to offer my
company's services to help you do so.

406
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,593
Well... I thank you.

407
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:48,802
You're welcome.

408
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:52,097
- No, thanks for the help today.
- My pleasure.

409
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:55,893
But all things being equal,

410
00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:58,228
I'd rather not.

411
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:02,775
All right.

412
00:24:04,193 --> 00:24:07,905
Can I... be completely
honest with you? No bullshit.

413
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,950
Be nice. My daughter's here.

414
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:14,662
That was your daughter?
With her arm up the cow?

415
00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:15,996
Okay. Look.

416
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:20,209
Democrats are getting
their asses kicked

417
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,963
because guys like me don't
know how to talk to guys like you.

418
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,384
I really believe that you
believe what I believe,

419
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,178
that what is happening
in this town is wrong.

420
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,806
What is happening in
this country is wrong.

421
00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:35,766
People are turning their
backs on each other.

422
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:38,435
We are forgetting that
we need each other.

423
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:41,647
What you said in your speech:
"Strong as the weakest link."

424
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:44,566
Do you mean that? Did you
mean it when you said that?

425
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:48,070
Because if you did, I think
that you have an obligation

426
00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,364
to try to strengthen
those weak links.

427
00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:52,199
And you can do
it. You can do it.

428
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,619
You can do it in
this sort of position.

429
00:24:55,703 --> 00:24:58,872
You can help strengthen
those weak links.

430
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,377
You can achieve that.

431
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:10,300
Okay. All right.

432
00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:12,011
You know what?

433
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:15,180
[sighs deeply]

434
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,016
All due respect, Colonel.

435
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:20,853
Anybody can make a speech. The
real test is backing up your words.

436
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,647
The things that you said to
those folks in that meeting,

437
00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:25,399
was that principle?

438
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:28,569
Or was that just a hobby?

439
00:25:30,154 --> 00:25:31,321
Let me know.

440
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:34,199
Why does he need three guns?

441
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,118
[door opens]

442
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,245
[door closes]

443
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,185
[gasps] Ow!

444
00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:03,562
- Ow, God!
- [Jack chuckles]

445
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,148
I'm sorry if I startled
you, sunshine.

446
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,608
[sighs]

447
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:09,485
Don't you people
believe in locks?

448
00:26:09,943 --> 00:26:12,571
Or privacy, or basic
social contracts?

449
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:14,865
Yeah. Tonya let me in.

450
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:19,703
I told her I had something important
I needed to talk to you about.

451
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:25,042
- You'll do it?
- Under one condition.

452
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:26,668
Great. Name it.

453
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:30,089
You run the damn thing.

454
00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:33,926
I got the farm to worry about. Don't
have any idea how to even start.

455
00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:36,887
I will have one of my top guys
make himself available to you.

456
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:39,556
No. No, that's not
gonna do it. You.

457
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:43,393
The deal is you
run it from here.

458
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:48,023
I checked you out. You
got one hell of a portfolio.

459
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,611
So... deal?

460
00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:01,411
[Gary] I'd like a big clump of
the cows right here in the center.

461
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,624
- Do you copy me?
- Yes, sir!

462
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:08,544
Okay. If you can just
move them over that way.

463
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:09,837
Yep!

464
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:13,799
And if you can get some of
'em to face front! Oh, my God.

465
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,009
[Gary] Hey there, Colonel.

466
00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:17,803
Gary.

467
00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:21,140
Bobby, thanks a million
for coming out here.

468
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:24,226
- I'll certainly vote for you.
- Thank you all, folks, for coming.

469
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,854
This is just a quick kickoff.

470
00:27:26,937 --> 00:27:29,815
Let's make you look a
little more like farmer Jack

471
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:33,318
and less like certified
public accountant Jack.

472
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,487
- There you go.
- Okay.

473
00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:36,989
Oh...

474
00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,615
No, no. That's
okay. That's okay.

475
00:27:38,699 --> 00:27:40,450
- Donny, right?
- Michael.

476
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,661
Michael, we can
just boom him, okay?

477
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,873
The pole with the thing on the
end? Do you do sound, Michael?

478
00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,709
Chuck does sound, but
he's at the lake with his family.

479
00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:52,337
Okay. Well, that's too bad that
he's... That's okay. We'll just go without.

480
00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:54,214
- Thank you, Donny.
- Thank you, son.

481
00:27:54,298 --> 00:27:57,676
Okay. Let's give it
a try. There you are.

482
00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:01,180
- And this is...?
- Why you are running for mayor.

483
00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:03,473
Wow.

484
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:07,060
I quote Patton... and Jesus.

485
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:10,397
Paraphrase. And you can't go
to the prom without a corsage.

486
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:14,318
Let's make magic.

487
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:19,072
All right. Thank you for coming.
Can we quiet the cows, please?

488
00:28:19,156 --> 00:28:20,282
Thank you!

489
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:23,827
Ladies and gentlemen,
Colonel Jack Hastings.

490
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,833
So, uh...

491
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:32,252
I am Colonel Jack Hastings

492
00:28:32,336 --> 00:28:35,505
and I'm running for mayor.

493
00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:43,222
So, uh...

494
00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:44,765
How we doing?

495
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:47,976
All right, beautifully put.

496
00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:53,023
Are there any questions
for the colonel? Anyone?

497
00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:56,693
"Bueller?"

498
00:28:56,777 --> 00:29:00,072
- Uh, yes. Colonel?
- Yes. Name and affiliation, please.

499
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:02,574
- It's Dan.
- Name and affiliation, please.

500
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:04,409
I'm Dan?

501
00:29:04,493 --> 00:29:07,412
- [cows mooing]
- Go ahead, Daniel. Easy on the cows!

502
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:10,874
Um, yes. Mr. Hastings...
Colonel. Could you say that again?

503
00:29:10,958 --> 00:29:13,210
Because I don't think
my recorder was on.

504
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,840
- Do it again?
- [Gary] Hey, you know what?

505
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,009
It's okay. We'll get it.

506
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:22,678
Okay, this one...

507
00:29:23,637 --> 00:29:25,097
What I'm looking for...

508
00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:28,308
Don't put all the black
ones in the center.

509
00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:30,811
He's running as
a moderate, okay?

510
00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:34,815
And if you could get some facing
this way, that would be helpful.

511
00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:36,942
<i>More local news
tonight out of Deerlaken.</i>

512
00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:39,820
<i>Former marine Colonel Jack
Hastings announcing today</i>

513
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:41,947
that he's running for
mayor as a Democrat.

514
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:43,949
While Braun may have
an incumbent's advantage,

515
00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:47,786
<i>political insiders say Hastings is
likely to give him a run for his money.</i>

516
00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:49,138
Happening now, a major ballot...

517
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,206
[Jack] Well, how much
is this gonna cost?

518
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:53,458
[Gary] You let me
worry about that.

519
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:56,253
What I need from you
are people. Volunteers.

520
00:29:56,336 --> 00:29:59,214
We got a lot of legwork if we're
going to make a noise in this thing.

521
00:29:59,923 --> 00:30:01,675
- More coffee?
- Oh, I'm good.

522
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:04,845
- No, I'm good, Lizzie. Thanks.
- You know what I do need?

523
00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:09,516
I need a couple buckets of that
gravy so I can take a bath in it.

524
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:14,313
It's so good. Delicious.

525
00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:19,151
- [sighs] My compliments to the chef.
- I'll let Ziggy know.

526
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,737
Great. That oughta cheer him up.

527
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:25,699
- [Jack] Just the check, Lizzie.
- Will do, Jack.

528
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,869
What's the deal
with the happy chef?

529
00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:33,081
Oh, Ziggy's all right.
He owns the place.

530
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:36,084
And he may be a bit peeved
about the election thing.

531
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,211
He's Mayor Braun's brother.

532
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:40,756
Why isn't this place
called Braun's?

533
00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:45,677
A Hansen has owned this
place since probably... Korea.

534
00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:50,015
Bobby Hansen started
it, his kids ran it for years

535
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:52,309
and had to sell
once the base closed,

536
00:30:52,392 --> 00:30:56,188
but no matter who owns
it, it'll always be Hansen's.

537
00:30:56,897 --> 00:30:58,940
Base closing really
hammered this place.

538
00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:01,318
Yeah, it did.

539
00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:04,279
More than half of our
storefronts are shut down.

540
00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:07,866
In fact, we're losing our high school
if we can't come up with the funding.

541
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:11,912
But no matter what
folks might wish for here...

542
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:14,164
it ain't coming back.

543
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:16,666
"Vote for Jack Hastings,

544
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,270
'cause no matter what you wish
for, it ain't never coming back."

545
00:31:19,336 --> 00:31:20,587
[chuckles]

546
00:31:20,670 --> 00:31:23,632
- I like it. It's good.
- Well, I'm not gonna lie to people.

547
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:27,511
No, I know. I know. I was
just being witty and cynical.

548
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:31,765
Can't win a battle if you're not honest
about what you're really up against.

549
00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:33,934
No, you cannot.

550
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,938
[Lizzie] Not enough for a bath,

551
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:40,107
but you can get a
good foot soaking.

552
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,028
Thank you. A straw!

553
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:47,614
[laughs]

554
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:49,825
[Gary] All right, let's
bring it in. Everybody in.

555
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:52,828
- Ohh! Phone bank!
- [scattered voices] Phone bank.

556
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:54,871
Well, you'll get it
next time. Okay!

557
00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:57,707
I want you to be upbeat.
I want you to be positive.

558
00:31:57,791 --> 00:32:00,377
Active participation is
what we're looking for.

559
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:04,256
Would they volunteer? Would they
donate? Can we drop off a lawn sign?

560
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:06,091
Would they donate?

561
00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:08,218
Would they donate?

562
00:32:08,301 --> 00:32:10,345
Yes, write that
down. That's good.

563
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:13,974
Got some sample scripts for
you there. Contact list there.

564
00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,517
To the ramparts!

565
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:20,021
- That means, go. You can begin.
- Oh!

566
00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:22,649
Now, you guys are my A team.

567
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,152
So first we're going to
take these lawn signs

568
00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:28,029
and we're going to put them
in all available public spaces.

569
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,532
I want them visible,
but not obnoxiously so.

570
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:33,285
Isn't it a little early
for lawn signs?

571
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,873
I'm sorry, she just, um...

572
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:41,543
'Cause just around here,
sometimes people aren't so keen.

573
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:44,880
But then, I do appreciate
that you got the signs made.

574
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:48,467
I mean, we've always used lawn signs.
They've worked for hundreds of years, so...

575
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,010
- Great.
- Yeah, let's just use "em."

576
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:52,012
Great. All right. Ann?

577
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,014
- I want you to take the downtown area.
- Okay.

578
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:57,726
Martha, Dave, how about
everything west of 397

579
00:32:57,809 --> 00:32:59,579
- And, Diana, I'd like you to stay here.
- [phones ringing]

580
00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:01,730
- Hello?
- To do...

581
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:04,816
Hi, this is Mathew, and I'm a
volunteer calling with Jack...

582
00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:07,569
[woman] Hello?

583
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,196
[laughing] What are you doing?

584
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:11,698
- Zimmer.
- Good morning, Mr. Zimmer.

585
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:14,201
My name is Michael, calling
on behalf of Colonel Hastings...

586
00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:17,579
Guys? Guys? Guys, guys. All
right, this is what's happening here.

587
00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:19,915
You're calling off
the office contact list.

588
00:33:20,373 --> 00:33:23,502
This is the voter contact
list, so... Yeah, I know.

589
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:24,628
[laughter]

590
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:28,173
I want you to call the voter contact
list. We're already voting for the colonel.

591
00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:31,426
Okay? Good. Let's
go do the signs, too.

592
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:32,719
Oh, my God.

593
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,930
Keep doing that, guys.

594
00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:45,398
Gar! Hey, ♪.C. Gary.

595
00:33:45,482 --> 00:33:47,734
- Hi.
- Hey, Gar, come on over.

596
00:33:48,568 --> 00:33:50,070
Okay. All right.

597
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,447
- You got...
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.

598
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,324
That is a six. That is a five.

599
00:33:54,407 --> 00:33:56,618
And a four. Look
at that, and a seven.

600
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:58,203
I'm keeping it, baby!

601
00:33:58,286 --> 00:33:59,829
Ahh!

602
00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:02,832
Hey, everybody.
This is ♪.C. Gary.

603
00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:04,167
He's staying above the Hofbrau.

604
00:34:04,251 --> 00:34:05,669
- Hey!
- Good to see you.

605
00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:08,064
- Welcome to the ambassador's lounge.
- Thank you very much.

606
00:34:08,088 --> 00:34:10,298
- Hear you're in town helping the colonel.
- Yes, I am.

607
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,592
- He's a good man.
- He is. He is a good man.

608
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:16,263
- So, is this your campaign office here?
- This?

609
00:34:16,346 --> 00:34:18,014
[all laughing]

610
00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:19,891
No, this is the
ambassador's lounge,

611
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:25,564
an elite social club of the area's top
entrepreneurs, athletes and raconteurs.

612
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:26,690
It's a shithole.

613
00:34:26,773 --> 00:34:28,024
[laughter]

614
00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:30,610
Hey, guys. Jack's already
got lawn signs printed up.

615
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:37,033
Well, I gotta head out.

616
00:34:37,117 --> 00:34:40,620
Got a lot of work to catch up
on. Pleasure meeting everybody.

617
00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:44,207
Hey, Father, you want to go with
him? He might need a miracle or two.

618
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:47,794
This town hasn't had a Democrat
mayor since La Follette ruled these parts

619
00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:50,463
and hasn't had a Democratic
Party since the '70s.

620
00:34:51,298 --> 00:34:53,717
It's gonna take a little
bit more than lawn signs.

621
00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:56,386
Okay.

622
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:08,148
[narrator] Colonel Jack
Hastings. Tempered by war.

623
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:10,775
A chain is only as
strong as its weakest link.

624
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,278
Driven by faith.

625
00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:15,322
I am my brother's keeper.

626
00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:20,368
A new kind of Democrat. A
Democrat for the heartland.

627
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:24,414
Jack Hastings, a
redder kind of blue.

628
00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:26,458
Paid for by Real
Americans for...

629
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,084
[woman] What are
you up to, Zimmer?

630
00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:32,422
I am telling you, guys,
Jack could be the real deal.

631
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:35,050
- On a national level.
- [man] On a national level?

632
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,260
It's like he's a
cross between...

633
00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:41,097
- MacArthur and elk jerky.
- Wait. What?

634
00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:43,475
And one of those machines
that test grip strength.

635
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:46,728
<i>- Sounds too good to be true.
- Oh, my God.</i>

636
00:35:47,354 --> 00:35:48,772
Semicolon.

637
00:35:48,855 --> 00:35:51,524
[laughs] She took the bait.

638
00:35:51,941 --> 00:35:54,110
It's on here, boys. Game on.

639
00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:59,282
- And let him be the star. You know?
- Yeah.

640
00:35:59,366 --> 00:36:00,408
So...

641
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:03,286
[Gary] <i>♪ A little bit of
Hastings all the time ♪</i>

642
00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:06,039
<i>♪ We're gonna win the
election Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

643
00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:08,208
Oh, yeah. Oh, here I am.

644
00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:10,585
Yes! Hello, party people.

645
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:14,964
Oh, it's a beautiful day to be alive
and on the vanguard of change.

646
00:36:15,048 --> 00:36:18,218
Who wants something to
eat? They're so delicious.

647
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:23,098
Okay.

648
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,309
What's going on?
Why all the long faces?

649
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:29,729
Do you not see
it? The billboard.

650
00:36:30,563 --> 00:36:33,942
The one on Main with the
giant "Vote for Mayor Braun"?

651
00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:35,151
- Yes.
- What about it?

652
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:38,697
- What about it?
- That's the McGregor Ford billboard.

653
00:36:39,155 --> 00:36:40,198
Okay.

654
00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:43,076
Okay, so it's been the McGregor
Ford billboard for probably 40 years.

655
00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:44,494
God only knows how much it cost.

656
00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:47,038
And it looks like Braun has
taken over Jerry's old office

657
00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:48,748
as some sort of
campaign headquarters.

658
00:36:48,832 --> 00:36:50,875
Wait a second, wait a
second. Hold on, hold on.

659
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:55,255
Um, are you telling me that the
mayor, who's running for reelection,

660
00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:59,300
has decided to advertise
his campaign for mayor

661
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:02,804
and he's doing it from
a campaign office?

662
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:05,223
Oh, my God! Ohh, this is...

663
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:08,518
This is overwhelming
to me. Oh, my God!

664
00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:10,979
I don't... I... What...

665
00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:13,732
I have the vapors, I...
I'm hyperventilating.

666
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:17,402
- Why are these spoons just sitting there?
- You don't get it.

667
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:18,737
[laughing]

668
00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:21,614
- Sorry! Sorry. Sorry.
- You don't get it.

669
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:24,325
Do you have any idea
how much that costs?

670
00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,411
Well, that space
is 3,800 square feet

671
00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:28,788
and it rents for $20
a square foot yearly.

672
00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:31,958
Prorated to two
months is 7,600 dollars.

673
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:35,253
The billboard... A little
bit harder to decipher.

674
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:39,048
But I'd say based on the location
and Mayor Braun's desperation,

675
00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:40,925
8K all in.

676
00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:44,471
Design and printing included. I don't
know, maybe something like that?

677
00:37:44,554 --> 00:37:47,056
Well, there's no way that
Braun's got that much money.

678
00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:50,435
Unless... this little
campaign of ours

679
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,438
has caught the attention of
the National Republican Party,

680
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:56,399
and they are sending
money and reinforcements.

681
00:37:57,734 --> 00:38:01,070
It's okay. It's exactly
what we wanted to happen.

682
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:06,618
They are scared.
On a national level.

683
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:09,537
They are scared of Colonel Jack.

684
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:15,084
So we have to plan our
next move. Come here.

685
00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:17,962
Gather round.

686
00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:20,048
We are going to need

687
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:23,676
something a little like... that.

688
00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:33,269
- [Gary] And you scroll down...
- There's a donate button.

689
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,689
Well, the money be
just one clicky away.

690
00:38:37,106 --> 00:38:39,818
And one clicky goes to where?

691
00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:42,779
- Our website.
- We don't have a web...

692
00:38:47,033 --> 00:38:49,244
[man] Awesome.

693
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:51,204
[Gary] Good slogan, right?

694
00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:53,206
You've been one step
ahead the whole time.

695
00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:55,875
Well, three or four. But
thank you very much.

696
00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:58,378
- I will take that.
- Oh, wow.

697
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:16,396
[sighs]

698
00:39:24,737 --> 00:39:26,030
Mmm.

699
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,117
Mm.

700
00:39:30,493 --> 00:39:32,078
Know how I knew you were here?

701
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,497
Your pussy tingled.

702
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:37,500
Semicolon on the billboard.

703
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,753
Classic Faith Brewster
over-punctuation.

704
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:45,383
Look, Zim, you all punched your
ticket on a changing demographic

705
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:47,385
and now whitey
don't want you back.

706
00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:50,889
Okay, Jeb, exclamation point.

707
00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,308
So why are you here?

708
00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:55,977
Because I enjoy
demoralizing you.

709
00:39:56,060 --> 00:39:59,480
Because crushing the last piece of
hope in your eyes really gets me off.

710
00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:04,527
You are a twisted fuck, Faith.

711
00:40:04,944 --> 00:40:06,362
And you don't know Jack.

712
00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:10,992
Please don't tell me that is the
campaign slogan you came up with.

713
00:40:14,329 --> 00:40:16,539
This guy, Zim, he's
not the last Jedi.

714
00:40:16,623 --> 00:40:19,626
And even if he were, I'd still
crush him, because that's what I do.

715
00:40:19,709 --> 00:40:22,003
You realize in that
analogy, you're Darth Vader.

716
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:23,588
Whatever you say, nerd.

717
00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:25,214
- It was good to see you.
- Yeah.

718
00:40:25,298 --> 00:40:26,466
You look fat.

719
00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:27,550
[laughs]

720
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,096
Hmm.

721
00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:35,600
Divine, Ann. You have to
tell me your secret sometime.

722
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:40,855
I would never tell you.

723
00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,149
Never tell her.

724
00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:45,568
Cream, two sugars.

725
00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:48,696
- No, that's not how I take it.
- I know, but...

726
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:51,324
And here's some streusel I
made for you. It's still warm.

727
00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:53,218
- No, no. I can't.
- These are cookies I made for you.

728
00:40:53,242 --> 00:40:55,262
- I'm getting fat. I can't do that.
- They're called "The Garys."

729
00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:57,163
Thank you. No, I
appreciate it. Thank you.

730
00:40:57,246 --> 00:40:59,141
- Okay, bye-bye. Thank you.
- Okay. All right then.

731
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:01,977
- All right then. Bye-bye. Have a good day.
- Okay. Up all night for nothing.

732
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,002
[door closes]

733
00:41:03,086 --> 00:41:04,686
- Coming back. Here you go.
- Just today.

734
00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:06,547
- Okay. [laughs]
- Thank you.

735
00:41:06,631 --> 00:41:08,883
- Bye-bye now. Bye-bye.
- Bye, Gar.

736
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:10,051
[door closes]

737
00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:12,095
[Gary] Have a good one.

738
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:30,488
Okay, good night.

739
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:33,116
Oh, hey. Good night. I didn't
know anybody else was here.

740
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:36,160
I just wanted to make sure
everything was set for tomorrow.

741
00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:38,496
I was just finishing up the
pamphlets on immigration.

742
00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:43,126
Ooh. That sounds complicated. I
hope the small minds can manage.

743
00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:46,921
[sighs] I'm sorry about that.

744
00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:49,382
Sometimes messaging for the base

745
00:41:49,465 --> 00:41:52,510
doesn't resonate with
the broader electorate.

746
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,513
Oh. Okay.

747
00:41:56,264 --> 00:42:00,601
So to flatter them, you
have to condescend to us.

748
00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:03,479
I get it.

749
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,899
Uh, no, no, that wasn't...

750
00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:09,152
That wasn't what...

751
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:15,658
Sorry.

752
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:21,414
How's your dad doing?
Is he okay? Nervous?

753
00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:25,293
- No.
- No? Well, why would he be?

754
00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:27,795
He's been through a war.
He's not gonna sweat a fish fry.

755
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,380
No, he doesn't
really get nervous.

756
00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:32,008
Mm-mm. Just quiet.

757
00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:34,302
Right.

758
00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:41,225
Runs in the family.

759
00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:47,065
- Maybe.
- Ohh.

760
00:42:47,148 --> 00:42:48,941
[laughing]

761
00:42:50,193 --> 00:42:54,781
Yes, my mom was
really more the talker.

762
00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:57,200
She was...

763
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:02,413
You ever know anyone
that just lit up a room?

764
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:06,459
Mm-hmm.

765
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:08,961
- Well, she was that.
- Yeah.

766
00:43:09,879 --> 00:43:11,380
- She sounds great.
- Yeah.

767
00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:16,135
So, why did your dad
get involved with all this?

768
00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:18,888
I mean, why speak
at that meeting?

769
00:43:18,971 --> 00:43:23,726
Why run when it involves
talking and people?

770
00:43:25,436 --> 00:43:29,774
I think he just loves
this town, you know?

771
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:31,901
I think he'd do
anything to save it.

772
00:43:32,735 --> 00:43:33,945
What about you?

773
00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:36,030
[chuckles]

774
00:43:38,825 --> 00:43:43,412
I guess I would do just
about anything to save him.

775
00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:58,928
I'll just take one.

776
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,015
Hey, how are you?

777
00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,184
Pamphlet? Vote for Colonel Jack.

778
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,480
Vote for Colonel Jack.

779
00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:14,652
Any kind of genealogy.
It's an incredible database.

780
00:44:14,735 --> 00:44:16,904
- Yeah.
- All your information is in there.

781
00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,574
[people chattering]

782
00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:26,956
Hey, Gary.

783
00:44:27,039 --> 00:44:29,917
Sorry I'm late. I was just
waiting for these to get finished.

784
00:44:30,543 --> 00:44:33,504
Beer koozies might be a little
more helpful than just the pamphlets.

785
00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:40,928
[Diana] How big is that booth?

786
00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:46,350
- Faith.
- Gary.

787
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:50,146
You seem to be doing a brisk
business. "Deerlaken: Always."

788
00:44:50,229 --> 00:44:54,192
So, apparently "Deerlaken
über alles" was copyrighted?

789
00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:55,915
Well, we were gonna
go with "I'm with him"

790
00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:58,112
until we remembered how
fucking stupid it sounded.

791
00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:01,657
No, no, no. I love it. I love the
whole town genealogy angle.

792
00:45:01,741 --> 00:45:05,453
It's got a real, bold "You
ain't from around here" flavor.

793
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:09,123
- [laughs]
- With subtle notes of xenophobia.

794
00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:11,083
Not to mention the
cognitive dissonance

795
00:45:11,167 --> 00:45:13,544
that your booth is basically
a love letter to immigration.

796
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:14,754
That's a great observation.

797
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,298
So all these people are
hypocrites? I'd run with that.

798
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:19,967
- All you have is fear.
- Now we're getting somewhere.

799
00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:22,887
Twenty bucks says I do better
with fear than you do with shame.

800
00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:25,556
- Oh.
- Okay. It's all set, Miss Brewster.

801
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,558
Thank you, sweetie.

802
00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:29,101
Well, well, well.

803
00:45:30,186 --> 00:45:32,980
I'm really sorry, Mr. Z. I
like working with you guys.

804
00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:35,650
But I'm saving up for a
car and she's paying us.

805
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:37,485
"Yay. She's paying us."

806
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:41,280
Wow, way to stand up for
what you believe in there...

807
00:45:42,365 --> 00:45:44,158
- M...
- It's Michael.

808
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:46,661
Michael. I know
his name is Michael.

809
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:49,455
I know it. I was pausing
for effect. Michael.

810
00:45:49,538 --> 00:45:51,832
- Thank you, Michael.
- Character is destiny, Michael.

811
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:54,236
- Character is destiny.
- Don't listen to him. He's a jerk.

812
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:55,920
Ooh. Good burn.

813
00:45:56,003 --> 00:45:58,005
Jack has lived
here for 30 years.

814
00:45:58,089 --> 00:46:01,300
You really think you can run a campaign
that paints him as a carpetbagger?

815
00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:03,844
Probably not. But I think I
can run one that says you are.

816
00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:05,513
- [man] Beer koozie.
- Oh, my God.

817
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:09,392
Oh, Hastings koozie.

818
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,435
- Yeah.
- Touché.

819
00:46:11,519 --> 00:46:14,689
That's right. That's in our
booth. What do you think of that?

820
00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,899
What do you think
of that right there?

821
00:46:16,983 --> 00:46:19,277
Boom, boom. What
do you think of that?

822
00:46:19,944 --> 00:46:21,112
- Don't...
- Ohh!

823
00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:23,197
[Gary] Sorry. Not you, Dot.

824
00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:26,575
Oh, Dot.

825
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:33,624
[band playing polka]

826
00:47:17,251 --> 00:47:19,670
- We're not doing this.
- What?

827
00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:21,964
Ugh.

828
00:47:22,048 --> 00:47:23,382
You go through my stuff?

829
00:47:26,093 --> 00:47:30,056
- Why here? You have your own room.
- I don't want to smoke alone.

830
00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:32,099
Oh, come on. Are... Really?

831
00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:34,185
- Lord.
- Ha ha!

832
00:47:35,019 --> 00:47:37,480
Gary, I'm bored.

833
00:47:37,897 --> 00:47:39,607
Please, can we just forget it?

834
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:42,276
You've made your point. There's
Democrats with calloused hands.

835
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,029
Gonna bode very well
for the midterms, I promise.

836
00:47:45,112 --> 00:47:46,864
But can we all just
go back to Washington

837
00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:48,949
and forget that we ever
made camp in a place

838
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:51,660
where the shit you skim
off milk is considered a food?

839
00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:54,163
They are called cheese
curds and they are delicious.

840
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,791
- They're disgusting.
- And you can't make poutine without them.

841
00:47:56,874 --> 00:47:58,834
- Come on. Please?
- Go.

842
00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,795
You can go. You
don't have to be here.

843
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:04,131
I made these people a
promise. I'm a good person.

844
00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:06,759
It's your last chance, Zim. I'm
gonna make a big deal of this.

845
00:48:06,842 --> 00:48:08,844
Tons of press, lots of money.

846
00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:11,406
You're gonna lose and then you're
gonna look like a giant asshole.

847
00:48:11,430 --> 00:48:12,932
Good. That's what I want.

848
00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:16,560
Not the asshole, but for
you to make a big deal of this.

849
00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:19,063
I want it to be a big
deal. It is a big deal.

850
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,358
- Well, let's make it interesting.
- Okay, why don't we?

851
00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:25,444
The loser has to eat the
winner's pussy out for an hour.

852
00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:29,115
You better grab a big old
bib 'cause it's chow time.

853
00:48:29,198 --> 00:48:30,408
[chuckles]

854
00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:32,034
Dick chow time.

855
00:48:32,952 --> 00:48:36,705
"Cause I'm gonna win, and you're
gonna have to eat my dick for an hour."

856
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:41,210
[Gary] And you know something?
That's a long time dick-eating wise.

857
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:44,046
A long time!

858
00:48:45,172 --> 00:48:47,049
To eat my dick.

859
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:57,643
[narrator] In a dangerous world gone
mad, we need emotionally stable leadership.

860
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:03,858
Only Mayor Braun is stable
enough to keep Deerlaken safe.

861
00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:06,610
To keep Deerlaken, Deerlaken.

862
00:49:06,694 --> 00:49:09,530
[laughs] I gotcha!

863
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:14,160
I'm Mayor Braun, and I
approved this message. Here.

864
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,830
Paid for by Traditional Wisconsin
Families for Faith and Freedom.

865
00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:20,875
What's that mean?

866
00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:23,118
[Faith] They've taken the
office Just across from mine.

867
00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:26,088
They're definitely ramping up,
so I'm gonna need the full crew.

868
00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:29,133
If Zimmer wants to take
a stand in Turdsville, USA,

869
00:49:29,216 --> 00:49:30,926
I say we bury him here.

870
00:49:31,552 --> 00:49:35,514
Sorry. Not a turd. Heart
and soul of America.

871
00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:38,767
- Get me the nerdy guy from Analytics.
- [man] Who's that?

872
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:40,051
[Faith] I don't know his name.

873
00:49:40,686 --> 00:49:42,062
He wears glasses and plaid.

874
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:44,190
- Has a very complicated beard.
- Which one?

875
00:49:44,273 --> 00:49:46,817
How the fuck does
that not narrow it down?

876
00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:49,653
- God-fucking-damn it!
- What?

877
00:49:50,070 --> 00:49:52,072
Then send me
everyone, by yesterday.

878
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:54,533
- [man] I'll get on it.
- [hangs up phone]

879
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,379
[Gary] Sorr... Hey, Dot.

880
00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:12,343
- Gary.
- [Kurt] Hey, big guy?

881
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:14,136
- Yes.
- We got a problem.

882
00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:19,642
What's up? Having trouble
rounding up focus groups?

883
00:50:19,725 --> 00:50:21,227
-Shh.

884
00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:23,687
[modem: electronic warbling]

885
00:50:25,856 --> 00:50:27,191
I don't even know what to say.

886
00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:29,985
Hey, hey, everybody!

887
00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:32,905
Do we know why we
have dial-up in this space?

888
00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:35,449
Duffy had it upgraded right
before he closed his shop.

889
00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:38,744
- Upgraded from what?
- Nothing.

890
00:50:38,827 --> 00:50:41,997
Well, is there any way we could
piggyback Wi-Fi from some place?

891
00:50:42,081 --> 00:50:43,499
There's a place
where the kids go,

892
00:50:43,582 --> 00:50:45,793
and they do homework and
they play games and whatnot.

893
00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:48,045
- I know the password.
- [Gary] Okay.

894
00:50:48,462 --> 00:50:50,422
Solving problems.

895
00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:55,427
[typing]

896
00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:57,721
[knocking]

897
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:00,307
[sighs]

898
00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:03,352
Listen, I...

899
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,938
I don't think you're
allowed to be here

900
00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:08,774
unless you're on official
school business, so...

901
00:51:09,275 --> 00:51:12,236
- Okay, look, Officer...
- Tommy.

902
00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:16,365
Officer Tommy. Um, we are
with the Hastings campaign,

903
00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:19,952
and we're trying to get some work
done here... it's sort of time-sensitive.

904
00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:21,912
So, um...

905
00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,957
Okay, here we go. Here is a pen.

906
00:51:25,749 --> 00:51:29,420
- And one of these beer thingies.
- Koozie.

907
00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:30,546
Koozie.

908
00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:31,880
And, uh...

909
00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:34,425
thank you for your service.

910
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:40,806
[typing]

911
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:50,441
- [knocking]
- Oh, for God's sakes.

912
00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:54,194
Hello, boys.

913
00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:56,780
Gentlemen, these are children!

914
00:51:57,364 --> 00:51:58,407
-Hey.

915
00:51:58,490 --> 00:52:00,610
- Great job, guys.
- Do you know what that looks like?

916
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:04,788
Sitting in your car? A bunch
of boys on a computer?

917
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,667
[applause]

918
00:52:11,587 --> 00:52:13,255
No, no, no. Thank you.

919
00:52:14,381 --> 00:52:16,467
I see they sprung you
from detention, huh?

920
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:20,095
Yeah. Apparently, small-town
hospitality doesn't apply to Wi-Fi.

921
00:52:20,179 --> 00:52:23,849
They're not too keen on strangers staking
out a school parking lot. Kids and all.

922
00:52:23,932 --> 00:52:26,226
Yeah. In hindsight, that
makes complete sense.

923
00:52:27,394 --> 00:52:29,194
- Guys? Could I talk to you for a sec?
- Yeah.

924
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:31,315
[Gary] In my office? Come on in.

925
00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:33,859
Have a seat. You can
leave the door open.

926
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:34,985
Here's the deal.

927
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:37,446
Our opponents are pumping

928
00:52:37,529 --> 00:52:39,990
way more into this than
I ever expected them to.

929
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:45,079
This rink y-dink stuff is not gonna fly.
We need to up our fund-raising game.

930
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:50,250
Okay. Let's... Sure, do you
want to do like a street fair or...?

931
00:52:50,334 --> 00:52:51,835
That's a good idea.

932
00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:55,631
No, it's not a good idea. Don't...
No, we're not gonna do that.

933
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:57,549
Have you ever been to New York?

934
00:52:57,633 --> 00:52:59,468
[modem: electronic warbling]

935
00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:04,598
Oh, my God. Please
unplug it. Please unplug it!

936
00:53:06,308 --> 00:53:07,768
Unplug it!

937
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:12,231
I'm just looking at
the guest list here.

938
00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:14,858
Great. Great turnout.

939
00:53:15,734 --> 00:53:19,029
Especially considering the
short notice. Really good.

940
00:53:20,572 --> 00:53:23,283
Mmm. Ever have one of those?

941
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:28,956
- Green beans?
- Haricot vert.

942
00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:32,918
Well, that's... French
for green beans.

943
00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:35,421
These are more delicate...

944
00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:37,881
thinner, more flavorful.

945
00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:43,053
- I didn't know you spoke French.
- Mm.

946
00:53:46,974 --> 00:53:49,393
- Would you like something?
- No.

947
00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:53,147
[crunching]

948
00:53:53,772 --> 00:53:55,065
Is this too loud?

949
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:00,571
[clears throat]

950
00:54:08,537 --> 00:54:09,705
Hmm.

951
00:54:10,456 --> 00:54:12,332
[coughing]

952
00:54:25,929 --> 00:54:28,557
- [elevator bell dings]
- Richard and Ginnie Peeler are hosting.

953
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:32,227
He's a hedge fund swell, she's been
saving the Hudson for about 25 years.

954
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:35,022
Richard Peeler? Yeah. Got it.

955
00:54:38,233 --> 00:54:39,902
Are you like 127

956
00:54:41,737 --> 00:54:43,071
[chuckles]

957
00:54:43,155 --> 00:54:45,091
[man] It's not only that
the sand traps are deeper,

958
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:47,534
but the quality
of the sand at...

959
00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:51,246
- Excuse me. Gary!
- Hey, Dick. Peeler.

960
00:54:51,330 --> 00:54:53,665
[Richard] Gary.
Thank you for coming.

961
00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:55,876
[Gary] Oh, my pleasure.
Thanks for having us.

962
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:58,062
- [Richard] We're really, really excited.
- [Gary] We're excited.

963
00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:01,799
Jack? Jack. I'd like you
to meet Richard Peeler.

964
00:55:01,882 --> 00:55:03,943
- What an honor.
- Jack Hastings. Very nice to meet you.

965
00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:06,678
- Thank you for having us.
- It's really an honor, yeah.

966
00:55:08,388 --> 00:55:11,642
No, it's, you know, the
authentic thing here. I see that.

967
00:55:11,725 --> 00:55:14,228
It's amazing. Can I get
you something to drink?

968
00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:15,729
Sure. What would you like?

969
00:55:15,813 --> 00:55:20,651
Uh, I'd like a little... tea,
chamomile, if you have it.

970
00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:23,695
[laughs] All right. That's
fine. You want a scotch.

971
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:25,531
- Yes, please.
- Yes, I know that.

972
00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:30,869
[all chattering]

973
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:32,579
Does this have alcohol?

974
00:55:33,205 --> 00:55:36,041
[man] He's a criminal.
Oh, thank you.

975
00:55:36,458 --> 00:55:38,794
He's a criminal, trust me.
I've done deals with him.

976
00:55:38,877 --> 00:55:41,588
Our democracy is falling
apart. We're gonna lose it.

977
00:55:41,672 --> 00:55:43,507
Tom Friedman had a great line.

978
00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:45,568
[man] I like to say he's
the Bitcoin of presidents.

979
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:47,278
[woman] Her whole dress
line was made in China.

980
00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:49,304
[woman 2] The
man is mentally ill.

981
00:55:49,388 --> 00:55:52,516
- [man 2] Fuckface Von Clownstick.
- [man 3] I'm mad. We should all be mad.

982
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,977
[man 4] I mean, what kind
of person hunts elephants?

983
00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:58,814
There's not a whole lot of
the... What did you call it?

984
00:55:58,897 --> 00:56:00,899
- Farm to table.
- The farm to table.

985
00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:04,486
I mean, I guess
it all kind of, uh...

986
00:56:05,487 --> 00:56:09,324
all goes from farms
to tables of some kind.

987
00:56:13,203 --> 00:56:18,000
[Richard] We're so excited that
you're all here, and we are so thankful

988
00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:20,085
to our old friend
for presenting us

989
00:56:20,168 --> 00:56:23,922
with another informative
and stimulating evening.

990
00:56:24,006 --> 00:56:25,299
- Oh.
- [laughter]

991
00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:27,759
You know him. You love him.

992
00:56:27,843 --> 00:56:29,177
And sometimes hate.

993
00:56:29,595 --> 00:56:31,722
- Hate writing the checks, but, you know...
- Yeah.

994
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:33,390
[Gary laughs]

995
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:36,143
- Gary.
- Thank you. Thanks so much.

996
00:56:36,226 --> 00:56:39,104
Thanks for coming.
And thank you...

997
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:43,692
Keep that going for the Peelers,
please. Their tremendous hospitality.

998
00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:47,171
Listen, I'm not going to take up too
much of your time other than to say

999
00:56:47,195 --> 00:56:49,031
thank you all for being here.

1000
00:56:49,114 --> 00:56:50,824
One thing I do
want to say, though,

1001
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:54,578
is that Colonel Jack Hastings

1002
00:56:54,661 --> 00:56:58,248
is the embodiment of
America's real greatness.

1003
00:56:58,332 --> 00:57:02,085
Service to nation,
hard work, faith.

1004
00:57:02,169 --> 00:57:06,006
Republicans don't own
those values. Do they?

1005
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:08,091
They don't own 'em. They can't.

1006
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:11,803
Inclusion. That's the
most important of all.

1007
00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:16,099
But sometimes we get comfortable
in our own little ideological bubbles.

1008
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:19,478
I see them. You can't see
them necessarily, but I see 'em.

1009
00:57:19,561 --> 00:57:22,397
There's a little bubble there,
there's a little bubble there,

1010
00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:24,608
and we forget to reach out,

1011
00:57:24,691 --> 00:57:28,904
to find empathy and
understanding across

1012
00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:31,198
religious, or racial,

1013
00:57:31,281 --> 00:57:33,659
or just plain
geographical boundaries.

1014
00:57:34,242 --> 00:57:36,703
And I hope tonight changes
that, even just a little bit.

1015
00:57:37,871 --> 00:57:40,499
So, without further ado,

1016
00:57:40,582 --> 00:57:43,710
I would like you to join me
in welcoming the next mayor

1017
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:46,129
of Deerlaken, Wisconsin,

1018
00:57:46,755 --> 00:57:48,882
Colonel Jack Hastings.

1019
00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:51,927
- [man] Hear! Hear!
- [cheers, applause]

1020
00:57:55,681 --> 00:57:57,391
Well, uh...

1021
00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:58,600
thanks, folks.

1022
00:57:58,684 --> 00:58:03,105
And thanks to Gary
and to the Peelers.

1023
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,564
[Richard] Thank you.

1024
00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:08,777
Wow, this is a... great
house. It's a great house.

1025
00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:10,028
Um...

1026
00:58:13,281 --> 00:58:15,575
I see some of you are

1027
00:58:15,659 --> 00:58:18,245
wondering what I'm doing here.

1028
00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:20,539
And...

1029
00:58:21,999 --> 00:58:24,543
I think I'm wondering the same.

1030
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:27,129
Uh...

1031
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:29,339
I guess that's the point.

1032
00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:34,803
Without all this, you
might never have met me.

1033
00:58:34,886 --> 00:58:37,973
And I certainly
wouldn't have met you.

1034
00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:40,934
But...

1035
00:58:42,853 --> 00:58:44,521
uh, now we have.

1036
00:58:46,356 --> 00:58:49,693
[sighs] So, um...

1037
00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:54,281
Um...

1038
00:58:54,364 --> 00:58:56,241
Colonel? Colonel?

1039
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:58,744
- Yeah?
- Gary Zimmer, from the ♪.C. Bugle.

1040
00:58:58,827 --> 00:59:00,746
- Um...
- [laughter]

1041
00:59:00,829 --> 00:59:04,124
Why should a bunch of
uptight Upper Westsiders

1042
00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:06,668
care about a little
town in Wisconsin?

1043
00:59:08,754 --> 00:59:11,006
Uh, it's hard to say.

1044
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,051
I guess we're hurting.

1045
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:17,179
Looking for help from you.

1046
00:59:19,598 --> 00:59:21,308
What can we do to help?

1047
00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:24,352
- I'll take that. Money. Money.
- [laughing]

1048
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,190
It's a serious
question, actually.

1049
00:59:28,857 --> 00:59:31,151
You know, our
politics seem broken.

1050
00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:35,489
Colonel, what do you see as
the system's greatest weakness?

1051
00:59:39,034 --> 00:59:43,663
Hmm. Well, I guess,
for one thing, this.

1052
00:59:45,248 --> 00:59:46,875
Here, tonight.

1053
00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:51,296
And I mean no disrespect.

1054
00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:55,801
I just think this
seems a bit crazy.

1055
00:59:56,927 --> 00:59:59,971
I want to help my
town. I want to be mayor.

1056
01:00:00,055 --> 01:00:02,474
Some town in the
middle of Wisconsin.

1057
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:07,896
So instead of being home working
on some smart things to help my town,

1058
01:00:08,772 --> 01:00:11,066
I have to fly here to your town

1059
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:14,152
and convince you that
my town is worth saving.

1060
01:00:14,236 --> 01:00:16,363
And that I'm worth it.

1061
01:00:17,072 --> 01:00:20,117
And that saving
it is worth it to you.

1062
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:25,705
All so you can give me some
money. Not for my town, but for me.

1063
01:00:26,164 --> 01:00:29,668
To help convince my
town that I'm worth it.

1064
01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:35,048
I'm... I mean...

1065
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:39,427
I don't know, it just
sounds so stupid.

1066
01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:44,266
[sighs]

1067
01:00:55,569 --> 01:00:57,028
Still crying?

1068
01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,906
A little bit.

1069
01:01:01,032 --> 01:01:02,200
Mmm.

1070
01:01:03,869 --> 01:01:07,664
You gonna do that
all the way home?

1071
01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:09,916
Yes.

1072
01:01:13,628 --> 01:01:15,172
Why?

1073
01:01:16,798 --> 01:01:20,260
Because the seat belt sign is
on and I can't get up to hug you.

1074
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:23,263
Damn, Jack.

1075
01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:29,895
You walked in there...
into the lion's den like that...

1076
01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:33,565
- Daniel.
- Yeah. And just...

1077
01:01:33,648 --> 01:01:35,609
You told them. Straight up.

1078
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:38,737
This isn't right, this is
wrong. The system is corrupt.

1079
01:01:38,820 --> 01:01:42,115
"I'm out of order. You're out of order.
The whole damn system is out of order.

1080
01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:43,533
Attica!"

1081
01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:45,952
[screams, grunts]

1082
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:49,706
Money! Oh, God.

1083
01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:52,876
Their money is the problem?

1084
01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:55,462
Ohh! [laughing]

1085
01:01:55,545 --> 01:01:58,298
- You should have seen their faces.
- I saw.

1086
01:01:58,381 --> 01:02:01,968
They ate it up!

1087
01:02:02,427 --> 01:02:04,262
We could have named our price.

1088
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:07,224
[muffled cackling]

1089
01:02:07,307 --> 01:02:10,185
- Oh, no way Faith matches.
- Why is that, now?

1090
01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:14,439
Oh, because they are
spending to stop something

1091
01:02:14,522 --> 01:02:16,358
and we're spending
to start something.

1092
01:02:17,859 --> 01:02:19,402
- [sighs]
- Hmm.

1093
01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:23,865
"I'm mad as hell and I
can't take it anymore!"

1094
01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:26,743
Oh!

1095
01:02:26,826 --> 01:02:29,955
- Gary, you... Green bean?
- No... No. [chuckles]

1096
01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:31,831
Okay. No, thank you.

1097
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:36,002
Wow.

1098
01:02:36,086 --> 01:02:38,964
I am telling you,
he is the real deal.

1099
01:02:39,047 --> 01:02:41,841
It is like a Bill Clinton
with impulse control.

1100
01:02:41,925 --> 01:02:45,553
Like a church-going Bernie
Sanders with better bone density.

1101
01:02:45,637 --> 01:02:48,014
- Hello.
- Here they are. Here they are!

1102
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,642
Ladies and gentlemen,
the next mayor of Deerlaken

1103
01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:52,005
and his talented first daughter.

1104
01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:54,229
- Please join me.
- You are fired up.

1105
01:02:54,312 --> 01:02:56,481
I am fired... Why
wouldn't I be fired up?

1106
01:02:56,564 --> 01:03:01,152
I am working with the future
of the Democratic Party here.

1107
01:03:01,236 --> 01:03:04,447
Oh, your dad the other
night was transcendent.

1108
01:03:04,531 --> 01:03:06,908
He crushed it, and
because of that,

1109
01:03:06,992 --> 01:03:09,160
I'd like to show you
the fruits of your labor.

1110
01:03:10,328 --> 01:03:13,540
Because he was so
good, I was able to hire...

1111
01:03:14,666 --> 01:03:16,126
the A team.

1112
01:03:16,876 --> 01:03:20,797
I am just kidding. They're not the
A team. Not that you aren't great.

1113
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:22,132
But this...

1114
01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:23,758
[beeping]

1115
01:03:23,842 --> 01:03:24,968
...Is the real A team.

1116
01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:28,930
- I get it, but what are the numbers?
- I was thinking we want to open there.

1117
01:03:29,014 --> 01:03:31,558
Continue the conversation
here and connect that.

1118
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:34,144
You know Kurt Lehman?
Polling and Modeling?

1119
01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:35,353
- Yes. Hi.
- Hi.

1120
01:03:35,437 --> 01:03:38,273
[Gary] Gives us a window into
the electorate. Best in the business.

1121
01:03:38,356 --> 01:03:41,484
When everyone was predicting
Hillary in a landslide over Trump,

1122
01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:45,697
Kurt was the one guy who
had her just barely beating him.

1123
01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,950
My models just picked
up the trend lines, so...

1124
01:03:49,034 --> 01:03:51,012
If the election had taken
place a month or two later...

1125
01:03:51,036 --> 01:03:53,830
My numbers would have
been 100% on the money.

1126
01:03:53,913 --> 01:03:54,914
Mm-hmm.

1127
01:03:54,998 --> 01:03:57,125
Wow. Impressive.

1128
01:03:57,208 --> 01:04:00,045
- Well...
- Well, he was the least wrong.

1129
01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:01,838
Tina Kuryev. Analytics.

1130
01:04:01,921 --> 01:04:04,924
- She gives us a window into the voters.
- Good to meet you, sir.

1131
01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:08,720
- Oh. I thought Polling did that.
- It does.

1132
01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:12,140
He tells you how he thinks they
feel, I tell you how they really feel.

1133
01:04:14,601 --> 01:04:16,978
- People are liars.
- Here we go.

1134
01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:20,148
He can tell you how often
people say they go to church.

1135
01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:23,818
- She can tell you if they actually go.
- I can tell you if God is in their hearts.

1136
01:04:23,902 --> 01:04:26,154
- Oh, my God.
- Tina is in Online Analytics.

1137
01:04:26,237 --> 01:04:29,282
Can I just say, we take
deception into account too, okay?

1138
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,368
Yeah, polling is an art form,

1139
01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:33,828
but there's plenty of
science to back it up.

1140
01:04:33,912 --> 01:04:36,331
Says the guy still
calling landlines.

1141
01:04:36,414 --> 01:04:38,583
People tell computers
the truth, all right?

1142
01:04:38,666 --> 01:04:40,752
Their desires, their prejudices.

1143
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:44,881
Every search, every transaction...
It's an unguarded private moment.

1144
01:04:44,964 --> 01:04:48,009
So there's no margin
of error, you know?

1145
01:04:48,093 --> 01:04:50,762
The digital footprint
is your true self.

1146
01:04:50,845 --> 01:04:54,974
But surely people are more
complicated than their online transactions.

1147
01:04:55,767 --> 01:04:57,352
Well, says the
woman with three cats

1148
01:04:57,435 --> 01:04:59,646
and an intense search
history of the herpes virus.

1149
01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:07,779
One of the cats...

1150
01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:09,781
Is this legal?

1151
01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:12,492
Law enforcement or
in the eyes of God?

1152
01:05:15,954 --> 01:05:17,640
[newscaster] With two
weeks to go until election day,

1153
01:05:17,664 --> 01:05:20,041
we have an update on
the Deerlaken mayoral race.

1154
01:05:20,125 --> 01:05:22,043
The race between
Colonel Jack Hastings

1155
01:05:22,127 --> 01:05:24,671
and incumbent Mayor
Billy Braun is tightening.

1156
01:05:24,754 --> 01:05:28,508
Who here has been chosen as
527e7? Raise your hands, please.

1157
01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:31,428
One, two, three, four.

1158
01:05:31,511 --> 01:05:33,513
Good. You all run
super PACs now.

1159
01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:37,725
You are no longer
associated with this campaign.

1160
01:05:37,809 --> 01:05:42,522
And as such, it is time to move
to your super PAC location,

1161
01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:45,942
which is all the way
at the back of the room,

1162
01:05:46,025 --> 01:05:49,362
far, far away from the
activity of the campaign.

1163
01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:52,407
Right now?

1164
01:05:53,450 --> 01:05:55,243
I am not at liberty to say.

1165
01:05:55,326 --> 01:05:58,621
The campaign cannot
coordinate with the super PAC.

1166
01:05:59,122 --> 01:06:01,291
- So...
- [whispers] After the meeting.

1167
01:06:02,375 --> 01:06:06,796
<i>♪ You always won Every
time you placed a bet... ♪</i>

1168
01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:14,179
Get me that fucking sat truck. Get it
now. They're going to out-communicate us.

1169
01:06:14,846 --> 01:06:17,348
Here we have an unusual
cluster of single women.

1170
01:06:17,432 --> 01:06:19,618
They're all going to get
pamphlets saying that the mayor

1171
01:06:19,642 --> 01:06:22,353
is going to repeal the health
care payment for birth control.

1172
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:25,940
- What's this?
- It's eight SMAWS.

1173
01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:28,902
Stay-at-home-middle-aged
women, 29 to 54.

1174
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:31,154
Twenty-nine? That's middle-aged?

1175
01:06:32,238 --> 01:06:34,699
Yes. Yes, it is.

1176
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:37,785
Got to do it on the adjective.
"Safe" streets. It's not safe "streets."

1177
01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:40,872
- Everybody wants safe streets.
- No, no. That's coming off a little angry.

1178
01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:44,384
- [Gary] Did you finish those donor calls?
- [Jack] Yeah, just about.

1179
01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:46,544
I just always had a
notion that farmers...

1180
01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:48,505
Sorry. Are you
clicking your heels?

1181
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:51,549
Are you Dorothy? Is
there no place like home?

1182
01:06:51,633 --> 01:06:52,759
<i>♪ Turning on the charm ♪</i>

1183
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:56,846
<i>- ♪ Long enough to get you by ♪
- ♪ Still the same ♪</i>

1184
01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:59,891
[Jack] America's
greatness and God's grace?

1185
01:07:00,725 --> 01:07:02,810
I'd go to battle for
those two any day.

1186
01:07:04,646 --> 01:07:07,886
[announcer] Paid for by Wisconsinites for
Religiously-based Compassionate Empathy.

1187
01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:14,006
- Did you just sigh?
- Did he just sigh?

1188
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,657
Don't even get me
started with sighing.

1189
01:07:15,740 --> 01:07:18,826
[Tina] Now here, this
cluster in blue have children.

1190
01:07:18,910 --> 01:07:22,163
So, they're going to get pamphlets
saying "Save Our Schools,"

1191
01:07:22,247 --> 01:07:25,250
because it's 1950 and
everybody loves pamphlets.

1192
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:28,169
Hi, my name is Jack.
I'm exasperated. [sighs]

1193
01:07:28,253 --> 01:07:31,589
Why don't we move on to the
WoMAMs? White middle-aged men.

1194
01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:33,508
[laughing]

1195
01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:39,097
<i>♪ I had nothing left to say ♪</i>

1196
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:42,058
<i>♪ 'Cause you're still the same ♪</i>

1197
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:46,145
<i>♪ Still the same Baby,
babe, you're still the same... ♪</i>

1198
01:07:46,229 --> 01:07:47,230
[Gary] What's this?

1199
01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:49,023
[Kurt] Walt.

1200
01:07:50,024 --> 01:07:51,442
Is that an acronym?

1201
01:07:52,026 --> 01:07:53,611
No, it is not.

1202
01:07:56,197 --> 01:08:00,285
Can I still bring baked goods
to the super PAC location?

1203
01:08:00,368 --> 01:08:02,370
- [song ends]
- [whispering]

1204
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:09,252
No.

1205
01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:12,505
[orchestral music playing]

1206
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:30,315
I'm Colonel Jack Hastings
and I approve this message.

1207
01:08:30,398 --> 01:08:33,860
[narrator] You want to come to
Deerlaken, you'll have to go through him.

1208
01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:38,740
Paid for by Powerful
Progressives for Strength.

1209
01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:41,117
So good.

1210
01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:44,132
- Thank you so much, sir.
- You're welcome.

1211
01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:46,163
- Thank you so much for your support.
- Thank you.

1212
01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:52,670
How the hell did she get the
Bayou billionaires involved?

1213
01:08:53,212 --> 01:08:54,481
You okay? Do you need some help?

1214
01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:55,965
- Just fine. Yeah.
- Okay. Thank you.

1215
01:08:56,049 --> 01:08:59,385
She must have promised that they could
have the town smelted after the election.

1216
01:09:04,474 --> 01:09:06,643
I'm just very
impressed with all this.

1217
01:09:06,726 --> 01:09:08,811
- You did the polling?
- Uh-huh. In fact...

1218
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:11,397
- [loud thudding]
- There it is.

1219
01:09:11,481 --> 01:09:14,359
- What is that?
- No, "who" is that. Elton Chambers?

1220
01:09:15,276 --> 01:09:18,363
- The Rocket Man?
- The billionaire Rocket Man, yes.

1221
01:09:18,780 --> 01:09:21,032
- Jesus Chr... I thought he was dead.
- He is dead.

1222
01:09:21,115 --> 01:09:24,535
No, no, no. A series of
micro-strokes. It's all good.

1223
01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:26,245
[loud thudding]

1224
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:35,838
[electronic whirring]

1225
01:09:35,922 --> 01:09:38,049
[footsteps thudding]

1226
01:09:42,970 --> 01:09:46,808
Sir Elton, thank you
so, so much for coming.

1227
01:09:46,891 --> 01:09:49,686
Everyone, this is
the great Sir Elton.

1228
01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:53,481
Let's get through
the pleasantries.

1229
01:09:53,564 --> 01:09:56,275
This is Jack Hastings.
And his daughter, Diana.

1230
01:09:56,359 --> 01:09:59,654
[electronic sing-song
voice] Hello, Colonel.

1231
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:02,699
All right, well, let's
get right to it then.

1232
01:10:03,157 --> 01:10:08,496
[to the tune of "Hava Nagila"]
<i>♪ Tell me, what is your position ♪</i>

1233
01:10:08,579 --> 01:10:11,666
<i>♪ Concerning the settlements ♪</i>

1234
01:10:11,749 --> 01:10:16,587
<i>♪ Of Givat and Shearim? ♪</i>

1235
01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,174
Uh...

1236
01:10:20,717 --> 01:10:22,927
- I'm not sure I'm...
- Israel.

1237
01:10:23,678 --> 01:10:27,140
Jack believes that sovereign
nations are entitled to self-defense.

1238
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:30,143
- [Elton] Strongly.
- Strongly believes. Yes.

1239
01:10:31,185 --> 01:10:33,271
[electronic whirring]

1240
01:10:33,354 --> 01:10:35,648
Oh! Edna!

1241
01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:38,985
"An election is a moral horror.

1242
01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:41,571
As bad as a battle,
but without the blood."

1243
01:10:41,654 --> 01:10:43,740
That's George Bernard Shaw.

1244
01:10:45,867 --> 01:10:48,286
- [Elton] Get the car.
- I think that went well.

1245
01:10:48,369 --> 01:10:51,330
- Seemed like a really nice guy.
- Actually, looked pretty good, right?

1246
01:10:51,414 --> 01:10:52,749
- Yeah.
- Surprisingly robust.

1247
01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:56,961
- Elton Chambers is in.
- Yeah! All right.

1248
01:10:57,044 --> 01:11:00,465
Making it rain. He actually
has a machine that makes it rain.

1249
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,773
Excuse me. Gary? Mr. Zimmer?

1250
01:11:16,856 --> 01:11:19,233
Mm-mm. Becca. Super PAC.

1251
01:11:19,901 --> 01:11:20,943
Okay.

1252
01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:24,405
Big guy? We got a problem.

1253
01:11:34,540 --> 01:11:36,209
[door beeping]

1254
01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:37,543
Hey, everybody!

1255
01:11:38,044 --> 01:11:40,588
Hard at work, I see.
That's good, that's good.

1256
01:11:40,671 --> 01:11:44,550
I had a couple of questions.
The first is... what the fuck?

1257
01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:48,346
What tactical genius in here thought
it might be a good idea to carpet bomb

1258
01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:51,390
a particular
neighborhood in this town

1259
01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:55,394
with flyers suggesting
that Colonel Jack Hastings

1260
01:11:55,478 --> 01:12:00,107
would make sure that contraception
is paid for by the government?

1261
01:12:04,237 --> 01:12:05,446
Uh, I did.

1262
01:12:05,530 --> 01:12:06,531
Oh-ho-ho-ho.

1263
01:12:06,614 --> 01:12:09,700
The data showed an unusually concentrated
grouping of single women in the area

1264
01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:12,036
who are deeply interested
in reproductive rights.

1265
01:12:12,119 --> 01:12:14,747
- And you know why that is.
- Well, why is not really...

1266
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:17,834
Because this concentrated grouping
of single women, as you put it,

1267
01:12:17,917 --> 01:12:19,502
is a convent.

1268
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:21,963
They are nuns.

1269
01:12:22,046 --> 01:12:24,757
Which is how many of them
are going to end up voting for us.

1270
01:12:24,841 --> 01:12:27,051
"Nuns" of them. Zero.

1271
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:29,262
- [chuckles]
- It's not funny.

1272
01:12:30,054 --> 01:12:31,305
I'm not laughing.

1273
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:35,893
[sighs] Fuck.

1274
01:12:35,977 --> 01:12:41,607
Well, I think we can appreciate the
humor in this very honest mistake,

1275
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:45,069
and the fact that the nuns are
generously turning the other cheek

1276
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:47,256
- makes it a non-story, but...
- Brooke, Brooke, if I may.

1277
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:50,324
This is really just another
perfect example of the ♪.C. elite

1278
01:12:50,408 --> 01:12:53,995
coming into a place they don't understand
and trying to dictate how we should live.

1279
01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:57,123
The Democrat Party can't
win, they're getting desperate.

1280
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:59,375
They don't know us,
they don't want to know us.

1281
01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:01,645
- And they look down on our values.
- No. No. That's "we."

1282
01:13:01,669 --> 01:13:04,714
- You're ♪.C. elite.
- Oh, no. Actually, I'm from here.

1283
01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:06,900
[Brooke] Faith, I didn't know
that. You're from Wisconsin?

1284
01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:09,594
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, no,
"Deerlaiken." I'm from "Deerlaiken."

1285
01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:10,678
What? Whoa.

1286
01:13:10,761 --> 01:13:13,222
Wow. So this campaign has
been a bit of a homecoming.

1287
01:13:13,306 --> 01:13:17,101
- It really is, Brooke. Thank you.
- No, no, no. That's a lie.

1288
01:13:17,184 --> 01:13:19,437
- That's a lie. You're lying.
- No. It's...

1289
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,898
She's ly... That's not...
What are you even doing?

1290
01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:25,610
Okay, well, as always, a
great and spirited discussion.

1291
01:13:25,693 --> 01:13:28,029
Thank you, but unfortunately,
we have to leave it there.

1292
01:13:28,529 --> 01:13:31,115
Coming up, we'll look at
more of this year's hot races

1293
01:13:31,198 --> 01:13:33,784
and how those will affect
races four years from now.

1294
01:13:33,868 --> 01:13:36,203
Why do you even lie
about something like that?

1295
01:13:36,621 --> 01:13:39,749
Honestly, I... I
don't even know.

1296
01:13:39,832 --> 01:13:43,044
"I don't even know." What
do you mean you don't know?

1297
01:13:43,127 --> 01:13:45,421
You can't just lie about
something like that.

1298
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:48,007
You just walk away?

1299
01:13:48,966 --> 01:13:52,011
You just told America that
you're from "Deerlaiken"?

1300
01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:53,888
That's not even how
you pronounce it!

1301
01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:57,099
"Deerlaiken," my ass!

1302
01:13:57,767 --> 01:13:59,518
Oh, my God.

1303
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:02,605
She's a fucking genius.

1304
01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:04,357
[snorts]

1305
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:07,401
Oh, my God, I hate
her so much. I hate her.

1306
01:14:07,485 --> 01:14:10,529
I hate her. She said
it, and now it's the truth.

1307
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:12,990
Fuck me.

1308
01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:15,368
[people chattering]

1309
01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:30,007
- Come on, let's get out of here.
- [Gary] Hey, Mikes! How you doing, guys?

1310
01:14:34,387 --> 01:14:35,930
- Hello, everybody.
- Hey, big guy.

1311
01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,306
Hey, Gary.

1312
01:14:37,390 --> 01:14:39,642
- Burger and Bud.
- Thank you very much.

1313
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:41,644
That looks great. Can
I have one of those?

1314
01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:43,062
No.

1315
01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:47,233
- What you guys doing? Looking at some ads?
- Yeah. They're just taking me through it.

1316
01:14:47,316 --> 01:14:51,070
Bio, very nice.
Education, that's important.

1317
01:14:51,153 --> 01:14:53,489
Hey, are we sure that we
want to be doing this here

1318
01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:56,117
and not in Faith's room
or the mayor's office?

1319
01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:57,868
Because right now, I'm not sure

1320
01:14:57,952 --> 01:15:00,663
that our opposition knows
exactly what we're about to do.

1321
01:15:00,746 --> 01:15:04,000
And that seems unfair. No, no!
Don't put them away on my account.

1322
01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:06,460
Why don't we get one of
those overhead projectors...

1323
01:15:06,544 --> 01:15:08,230
- Stop.
- ...that you have at a bowling alley?

1324
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:10,715
So everybody here can
see it. Wouldn't that be good?

1325
01:15:11,298 --> 01:15:12,758
Kurt? Come on.

1326
01:15:14,635 --> 01:15:17,722
- Why do you talk to them like that?
- Mmm! Like what?

1327
01:15:17,805 --> 01:15:19,849
Like that, like they're idiots.

1328
01:15:19,932 --> 01:15:21,809
Well... [scoffs]

1329
01:15:22,727 --> 01:15:23,853
Listen.

1330
01:15:23,936 --> 01:15:25,062
[sighs]

1331
01:15:25,688 --> 01:15:27,023
I saw some polls.

1332
01:15:27,690 --> 01:15:30,451
If we don't figure this out soon,
there's no way we're gonna beat her.

1333
01:15:30,901 --> 01:15:33,279
- Our demographics are so...
- "Her"?

1334
01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:35,656
- Who?
- Her.

1335
01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:40,411
You said, "If we don't figure it out soon,
we're not gonna be able to beat her."

1336
01:15:40,494 --> 01:15:43,789
We're not gonna beat her
candidate. Braun. Mayor Braun.

1337
01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:46,459
Herr... Herr Braun.

1338
01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:49,045
- Herr, her. Same thing.
- Mm-hmm.

1339
01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:53,799
Look, Gary, I don't really understand
how you guys do things in ♪.C.,

1340
01:15:53,883 --> 01:15:56,486
but if you're gonna work for my father,
you need to treat people with respect.

1341
01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:58,304
- "With." "With."
- What?

1342
01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:01,307
Work with your father,
not for. You said "for."

1343
01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:05,686
It's a semantic thing, but it's... You
know, it's an important distinction.

1344
01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:13,319
Just so you know,
they don't actually serve

1345
01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:15,905
hamburgers and Budweiser
here because it's the Hofbrau Haus,

1346
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,240
so they would serve German
food and German beers.

1347
01:16:18,324 --> 01:16:20,201
They've been patronizing you.

1348
01:16:25,706 --> 01:16:27,249
Just so you know,

1349
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:30,961
I don't even like hamburgers or
Budweiser, so I've been patronizing them.

1350
01:16:31,045 --> 01:16:32,338
- Okay.
- The whole time.

1351
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,633
- Did a little switcheroo.
- Oh, and just so you know.

1352
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:38,552
Congratulations. Our
campaign made the paper.

1353
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:43,099
Oh, God.

1354
01:16:45,559 --> 01:16:48,187
[inhales, exhales]

1355
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:51,732
She's so pretty.

1356
01:16:51,816 --> 01:16:53,859
I bet she smells like Pop-Tarts.

1357
01:16:58,823 --> 01:17:00,533
Is he still looking? [laughs]

1358
01:17:00,616 --> 01:17:02,660
[female newscaster] You
know, Colonel Jack Hastings.

1359
01:17:02,743 --> 01:17:04,328
- Military man.
- Absolutely.

1360
01:17:04,411 --> 01:17:06,205
- From the heartland.
- Yup.

1361
01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:08,290
- No greater place in America.
- No.

1362
01:17:08,374 --> 01:17:09,375
- Am I right?
- No.

1363
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:12,503
He is now part
of the loony left.

1364
01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:15,131
<i>Not just the loony left.
He's not just a Democrat.</i>

1365
01:17:15,214 --> 01:17:16,549
He has joined the...

1366
01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,467
- Squad.
- Socialism.

1367
01:17:18,551 --> 01:17:20,052
Socialism.

1368
01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:22,263
Do you think it
hurts our military

1369
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:25,558
<i>to have one of their own
throw in with the Democrats?</i>

1370
01:17:27,893 --> 01:17:29,603
I know that if I had served...

1371
01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:32,356
I wouldn't like it

1372
01:17:32,439 --> 01:17:33,524
Mmm.

1373
01:17:34,150 --> 01:17:35,317
Yeah.

1374
01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:38,737
[Faith] Wow, that
was a harsh segment.

1375
01:17:39,155 --> 01:17:40,990
Cutting but fair.

1376
01:17:41,073 --> 01:17:43,951
It's like I wrote it myself
last night and sent it to them,

1377
01:17:44,034 --> 01:17:46,829
and they read it
verbatim like a scene.

1378
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,080
Go to bed.

1379
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,399
What is this? What
am I looking at?

1380
01:17:51,876 --> 01:17:54,587
- Those are the...
- Why are we being outspent three to one?

1381
01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:57,590
And how do white women not realize
they're backing the wrong horse?

1382
01:17:57,673 --> 01:18:00,527
- These numbers aren't solidified.
- Yeah, well, you gotta make it happen.

1383
01:18:00,551 --> 01:18:03,554
Or you gotta find me some
more fucking Hispanics.

1384
01:18:03,637 --> 01:18:05,973
Where are my fucking Hispanics?

1385
01:18:06,056 --> 01:18:10,102
I need some more
fucking Hispanics, Kurt!

1386
01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:18,068
Hey, everybody.

1387
01:18:18,569 --> 01:18:20,029
Listen.

1388
01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:24,658
I am profoundly disappointed
in the comments that I just made.

1389
01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:28,037
My words and/or actions

1390
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:31,373
do not represent who
I am as a person and...

1391
01:18:31,457 --> 01:18:33,709
- A teachable moment?
- It is a teachable moment.

1392
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:36,128
It's something I think
we can all learn from.

1393
01:18:36,879 --> 01:18:39,256
And in that way, I feel
like I have given you a gift.

1394
01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:40,341
[telephone ringing]

1395
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:42,152
- You're in my heart.
- And from this moment on, I vow

1396
01:18:42,176 --> 01:18:47,890
to make this office a color- and
gender-neutral work environment.

1397
01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:49,183
[telephone ringing]

1398
01:18:49,266 --> 01:18:51,060
That is my... Are
you gonna get that?

1399
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:53,854
It's ringing off
the fucking hook.

1400
01:18:55,439 --> 01:18:57,918
- [Tina] Hundred percent.
- [Gary] What do you mean you're sure?

1401
01:18:57,942 --> 01:19:00,319
- I'm sure.
- You're sure or you're just pretty sure?

1402
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:02,238
- One-hundred-percent sure.
- Okay.

1403
01:19:03,072 --> 01:19:06,075
Okay, Tina. Better not
be another nun situation.

1404
01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:07,159
It's not.

1405
01:19:08,369 --> 01:19:10,871
- Hey, is your dad here?
- Yeah. Dad?

1406
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:13,499
- [Jack] Yeah?
- Come on in, Colonel.

1407
01:19:17,336 --> 01:19:20,381
So, um... we can't win.

1408
01:19:23,634 --> 01:19:26,971
The people in this town
are pretty set in their ways.

1409
01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:30,474
And we lost the eight
nuns. That wasn't good.

1410
01:19:30,557 --> 01:19:33,143
So, we can't win.

1411
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:39,400
Well... you know, we
appreciate all you've done.

1412
01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:42,111
I mean, the campaign and...

1413
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:45,114
I'm just sorry we
let you down, but...

1414
01:19:45,739 --> 01:19:47,992
Well, all I can
say is thank you.

1415
01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:52,955
- Really, Gary, thank you for everything.
- It was a hell of a ride.

1416
01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:56,000
[Gary] Are you shitting me?

1417
01:19:56,083 --> 01:19:59,795
All I have to say is we
can't win and you're through.

1418
01:19:59,878 --> 01:20:01,880
- You're out.
- You said we can't win.

1419
01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:06,176
Unless. We can't win
"unless." You didn't let me finish.

1420
01:20:06,260 --> 01:20:08,971
We can't win unless it turns out

1421
01:20:09,054 --> 01:20:12,599
that this town isn't the
Mayberry everybody thinks it is.

1422
01:20:13,017 --> 01:20:15,811
I just got a little piece of
intel that's kind of intriguing.

1423
01:20:15,894 --> 01:20:20,524
So, the mayor's brother,
Ziggy... He had an oxy problem.

1424
01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:23,485
He was a roofer and
got hurt on the job.

1425
01:20:23,569 --> 01:20:26,572
Yes, well, what you might
not know is that the mayor...

1426
01:20:27,573 --> 01:20:31,285
pulled some strings, kept him
out of jail, got him into rehab.

1427
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:34,955
That is abuse of power, nepotism,
probably some clerical shit in there.

1428
01:20:35,039 --> 01:20:37,124
Come on, Gary.

1429
01:20:37,207 --> 01:20:41,295
- We're the good guys, right?
- Yeah, we're the good guys.

1430
01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:43,672
When they go low...

1431
01:20:44,214 --> 01:20:45,424
We go high.

1432
01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:48,302
Unless we also need
to go low, apparently.

1433
01:20:48,385 --> 01:20:50,846
Only to keep those who
would go lower out of power.

1434
01:20:50,929 --> 01:20:52,431
So, when they go low,

1435
01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:55,476
we go higher incrementally in
relation to how low they went.

1436
01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:57,603
Regrettably, yes.

1437
01:20:57,686 --> 01:21:01,607
When they go low, we go almost
as low, but we feel worse doing it.

1438
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:05,152
You think they thought twice about
making your dad look like a PTS nutcase,

1439
01:21:05,235 --> 01:21:08,989
and I'm going low because I'm
gonna tell the truth about the mayor?

1440
01:21:09,073 --> 01:21:11,075
His brother is fragile, Gary.

1441
01:21:11,158 --> 01:21:14,119
This town is fragile.
The whole area is fragile.

1442
01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:16,622
- Our democracy.
- Oh, stop.

1443
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:20,042
We're not doing it, okay?
People are gonna get hurt.

1444
01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:23,337
I'm sorry, I really
am, but sometimes

1445
01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:26,799
good people have to do shitty
things in service of the greater good.

1446
01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,051
Isn't that right, Colonel?

1447
01:21:36,308 --> 01:21:37,518
[Diana] Hey.

1448
01:21:41,397 --> 01:21:43,148
- Hey.
- Yeah?

1449
01:21:44,274 --> 01:21:46,151
- Gary, stop.
- [sighs]

1450
01:21:49,696 --> 01:21:51,240
Is this politics?

1451
01:21:52,658 --> 01:21:56,703
It's not politics anymore,
Diana. It's math.

1452
01:21:56,787 --> 01:21:59,123
That's what an
election is. It's just math.

1453
01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:01,125
We need what they get plus one.

1454
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:03,252
That's all.

1455
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:07,673
And if I can't get that by getting
more people to vote for your dad,

1456
01:22:07,756 --> 01:22:10,759
then I have to get fewer
people to vote for Braun.

1457
01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:28,152
[car door opens, closes]

1458
01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:29,778
[knocking]

1459
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:39,246
Hi.

1460
01:22:40,622 --> 01:22:42,207
- Come on in.
- Thank you.

1461
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,877
I'm so sorry.

1462
01:22:47,838 --> 01:22:50,507
I... I'm pulling the plug.

1463
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:53,760
- Hey, hey.
- Mean, we have the money we need.

1464
01:22:53,844 --> 01:22:57,848
We have more than we would need,
and this would... destroy your brother.

1465
01:22:59,183 --> 01:23:02,269
- And I'm just so sorry.
- Hey.

1466
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:06,440
You have nothing
to be sorry for.

1467
01:23:08,025 --> 01:23:10,736
You saved us, Diana.

1468
01:23:10,819 --> 01:23:11,862
Mm-hmm.

1469
01:23:11,945 --> 01:23:13,864
This place was done.

1470
01:23:13,947 --> 01:23:17,034
It's just another town in the
middle of nowhere, going nowhere.

1471
01:23:17,576 --> 01:23:21,288
And everyone agreed...
Yours was the best idea we had.

1472
01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:24,500
Unless you want to go back to
the two Mikes' idea of... [chuckles]

1473
01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:26,376
...ostrich meat farms.

1474
01:23:28,086 --> 01:23:32,299
Diana, you moving back
here, caring so much...

1475
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:34,301
I mean, this whole thing...

1476
01:23:36,929 --> 01:23:39,890
Well, I just know how
proud of you your dad is.

1477
01:23:41,183 --> 01:23:43,060
And how proud your mom would be.

1478
01:23:45,437 --> 01:23:49,149
And how grateful every
single one of us are

1479
01:23:49,650 --> 01:23:52,486
for what you've done and
everything you've given.

1480
01:23:54,363 --> 01:23:56,281
It's working.

1481
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:03,205
Okay.

1482
01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:09,795
What do we do about Gary?

1483
01:24:11,630 --> 01:24:13,507
Whatever Gary thinks he's got...

1484
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:16,301
why don't we just give
him something better?

1485
01:24:25,352 --> 01:24:28,647
[faint clattering, footsteps]

1486
01:24:41,118 --> 01:24:42,119
Hmm.

1487
01:24:42,202 --> 01:24:44,055
[Gary] No, forget the
rehab thing. This is bigger.

1488
01:24:44,079 --> 01:24:45,914
Obviously, you can't
use my name, so just,

1489
01:24:45,998 --> 01:24:49,585
"Senior official with inside
knowledge of campaign strategy."

1490
01:24:50,002 --> 01:24:51,670
Yes, you are welcome.

1491
01:24:51,753 --> 01:24:53,690
- [Kurt] Tell me they're running it.
- They are running it.

1492
01:24:53,714 --> 01:24:55,591
- Yeah, baby!
- Shit's gonna hit the fan.

1493
01:24:55,674 --> 01:24:58,218
- Oh, feels good.
- Now, the word of the day is disappointed.

1494
01:24:58,302 --> 01:25:00,512
We are not mad at the
mayor. We are not shocked.

1495
01:25:00,596 --> 01:25:02,615
- We're just disappointed.
- Yeah, I am disappointed.

1496
01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:04,701
- I'm disappointed, too.
- I mean, it's disappointing.

1497
01:25:04,725 --> 01:25:06,310
It is. You know
what? He's the mayor.

1498
01:25:06,393 --> 01:25:08,729
- He betrayed us.
- He betrayed us and it's disappointing.

1499
01:25:08,812 --> 01:25:10,105
- I'm hurt.
- But I'm not mad.

1500
01:25:10,188 --> 01:25:11,898
- No, I'm disappointed.
- Me too.

1501
01:25:11,982 --> 01:25:15,277
Tonight we have this picture of
the alleged ten-year-old love child

1502
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,195
of the Wisconsin mayor
and the girl's mother.

1503
01:25:17,279 --> 01:25:19,990
<i>We've obscured the child's
face to protect her identity,</i>

1504
01:25:20,073 --> 01:25:23,243
but left enough clues so that
you could probably figure it out.

1505
01:25:23,327 --> 01:25:25,495
To discuss this important
late-breaking story

1506
01:25:25,579 --> 01:25:29,625
we go to our panel with a feature
you'll only see here on CNN,

1507
01:25:29,708 --> 01:25:31,335
the "duodecabox."

1508
01:25:31,418 --> 01:25:32,753
What do you think?

1509
01:25:32,836 --> 01:25:36,715
Bill, Diane, Liz, Carl,
Barbra and... let's say, Craig.

1510
01:25:37,341 --> 01:25:39,718
[all arguing at once]

1511
01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:43,013
[yells]

1512
01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:48,310
Kaylie?

1513
01:25:48,977 --> 01:25:49,978
- Kaylie.
- Yeah?

1514
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:51,938
- Can you clean this up, please?
- Sure.

1515
01:25:52,022 --> 01:25:53,857
It was an accident with
a sandwich. Thank you.

1516
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:21,510
Hey, man. Can I talk to
you about White Power?

1517
01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:23,595
[chattering]

1518
01:26:31,770 --> 01:26:33,021
No, no.

1519
01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:40,445
It has been a hard-fought campaign,
but now it's in the hands of the voters.

1520
01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:43,448
Excuse me. There's
the colonel right there.

1521
01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:44,658
Colonel, come on in.

1522
01:26:44,741 --> 01:26:46,451
- Hi, good morning.
- You get some rest?

1523
01:26:46,535 --> 01:26:48,662
- Yeah, we got a little bit.
- Excuse us, folks.

1524
01:26:48,745 --> 01:26:50,664
- Good morning.
- Excuse us.

1525
01:26:52,374 --> 01:26:53,542
There he is.

1526
01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:56,169
- Billy, hey. How are you?
- Colonel. Good to see you, sir.

1527
01:26:56,253 --> 01:26:59,548
- How about a picture?
- All righty. Ha ha!

1528
01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:01,717
Come on, come
on. Let's go, let's go.

1529
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:04,511
Oh, make sure you get
this guy's ID. [laughs]

1530
01:27:04,594 --> 01:27:06,346
Okay. Billy, we're
just talking to Fox.

1531
01:27:06,430 --> 01:27:07,657
- Just Fox.
- Hello. Good morning.

1532
01:27:07,681 --> 01:27:08,932
Good morning, Jack.

1533
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:11,727
- Here.
- All right.

1534
01:27:11,810 --> 01:27:13,478
- Your dad is really something.
- Yeah.

1535
01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:14,914
- He's done a great job.
- Yeah, yeah.

1536
01:27:14,938 --> 01:27:15,939
Over here?

1537
01:27:16,022 --> 01:27:18,859
- So have you. Thank you for everything.
- My pleasure.

1538
01:27:19,317 --> 01:27:21,838
I was thinking, maybe later, if you
wanna watch the returns come in?

1539
01:27:21,862 --> 01:27:24,364
Yeah. Oh, yeah,
yeah, I'd love to.

1540
01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:30,203
Oh. Shoot. You know what? I
have to head back to the farm.

1541
01:27:30,287 --> 01:27:32,372
- But I'll see you later, okay?
- Okay.

1542
01:27:33,874 --> 01:27:35,459
Diana, aren't you gonna vote?

1543
01:27:42,716 --> 01:27:44,092
[Gary] Nothing?

1544
01:27:44,801 --> 01:27:47,554
No early returns?
What about exit polling?

1545
01:27:49,014 --> 01:27:51,141
Well, is there another precinct?

1546
01:27:51,224 --> 01:27:55,645
Wh... Where else can they
vote? Was it all early voting?

1547
01:27:57,522 --> 01:27:59,524
What do you mean
nobody has voted yet?

1548
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:01,902
Big guy? You're
gonna want to see this.

1549
01:28:01,985 --> 01:28:04,529
...smear Mayor Braun with a
falsehood of an illegitimate child,

1550
01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:08,742
<i>which, as the report you just read
stated, is actually the man's dear niece.</i>

1551
01:28:08,825 --> 01:28:10,994
Has the Hastings
campaign apologized?

1552
01:28:11,536 --> 01:28:13,789
No, they haven't And
it's too late for that.

1553
01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:16,416
<i>- Braun continues to focus on the issues.
- Oh, fuck!</i>

1554
01:28:16,500 --> 01:28:19,711
And quite frankly, Brooke, the media
owes the mayor an apology as well

1555
01:28:19,795 --> 01:28:22,506
for credulously covering
a poorly-sourced story...

1556
01:28:22,589 --> 01:28:25,425
- Faith. Congratulations, well done.
- What the fuck are you doing?

1557
01:28:25,509 --> 01:28:27,010
- A new low.
- Oh, yeah.

1558
01:28:27,093 --> 01:28:29,262
Like I leaked a cocked-up
story about a bastard child

1559
01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:30,907
<i>who happens to be
the man's fucking niece.</i>

1560
01:28:30,931 --> 01:28:32,611
- Please, Gary.
- You fed me that bullshit.

1561
01:28:32,641 --> 01:28:34,619
- You know? Go fuck yourself.
- You go fuck yourself.

1562
01:28:34,643 --> 01:28:36,245
- You go fuck yourself.
- [newscaster] Okay, you two.

1563
01:28:36,269 --> 01:28:38,122
<i>Unfortunately, we're going
to have to leave it there.</i>

1564
01:28:38,146 --> 01:28:39,356
Thank you so much, Brooke.

1565
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:41,334
- Thanks, Brooke.
- Thank you so much. Thank you.

1566
01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:42,776
We're clear.

1567
01:28:42,859 --> 01:28:45,737
- Why would I leak this, huh?
- To just make me take the bait?

1568
01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:49,115
You didn't just wanna win. You
wanted to castrate me, didn't you?

1569
01:28:49,199 --> 01:28:51,993
If I wanted to cut your dick off,
I would've done it in front of you

1570
01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:54,621
just to see the last look
of horror in your eyes.

1571
01:28:56,248 --> 01:28:59,209
- You're telling the truth.
- No shit.

1572
01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:02,546
- What the fuck is going on here?
- [woman] Evan?

1573
01:29:02,629 --> 01:29:03,797
What...

1574
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:06,716
- Evan? Evan, oh, my God!
- What's up, Abby?

1575
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:09,094
- How the hell are you?
- How are you? Nice to see you.

1576
01:29:09,177 --> 01:29:11,054
- How's everything?
- Yeah, I mean, it's going.

1577
01:29:11,972 --> 01:29:13,181
What the hell?

1578
01:29:13,265 --> 01:29:16,226
How the hell does he
know her? Is he from here?

1579
01:29:16,309 --> 01:29:18,937
Gary, look at his
shoes. I mean, really.

1580
01:29:19,855 --> 01:29:22,774
And we have Alan to thank for
bringing this man to our attention.

1581
01:29:22,858 --> 01:29:24,609
- It's Evan.
- Did I happen to mention...

1582
01:29:24,693 --> 01:29:26,987
Oh, shit.

1583
01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:28,405
- What? What?
- Come on!

1584
01:29:29,406 --> 01:29:33,910
[man] So, with 100%
of the vote counted,

1585
01:29:33,994 --> 01:29:37,289
the mayoral race is tied.

1586
01:29:37,372 --> 01:29:39,624
One vote to one vote!

1587
01:29:39,708 --> 01:29:41,626
[cheering]

1588
01:29:41,710 --> 01:29:44,671
No! Okay... No, no, no!

1589
01:29:44,754 --> 01:29:48,008
Wait, wait, wait! Hold on!
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

1590
01:29:48,091 --> 01:29:54,180
I, uh... I don't know exactly
what's going on here, but it's weird.

1591
01:29:54,264 --> 01:29:57,642
- Could somebody explain what's happening?
- Well, we had an election.

1592
01:29:57,726 --> 01:29:59,811
- Yes, I know that.
- And we gave it our best.

1593
01:29:59,895 --> 01:30:02,355
- Just didn't work out.
- Didn't work out? Jack, come on.

1594
01:30:02,439 --> 01:30:04,524
Do you know how much
money we invested in this?

1595
01:30:04,608 --> 01:30:06,568
Yes, if the news
media is to be believed,

1596
01:30:06,651 --> 01:30:10,822
more than 45 million dollars
was raised between the two of you.

1597
01:30:10,906 --> 01:30:13,199
[laughter, cheering]

1598
01:30:19,205 --> 01:30:21,082
Oh, shit.

1599
01:30:21,917 --> 01:30:23,627
Did you sucker me, Jack?

1600
01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,838
- I guess.
- You know what?

1601
01:30:26,922 --> 01:30:29,299
Folks, sorry, but I'm
getting all that money back.

1602
01:30:29,382 --> 01:30:32,594
- From where?
- We put millions into those PACs.

1603
01:30:33,094 --> 01:30:36,765
Well, campaign finance law says
that money needn't be accounted for.

1604
01:30:37,849 --> 01:30:40,936
Oh, my God. I gotta
give it to this place.

1605
01:30:42,771 --> 01:30:45,482
- Hey, Alan.
- It's Evan.

1606
01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:48,401
Shit weasel. You're
from this town, aren't you?

1607
01:30:48,485 --> 01:30:50,362
- Yeah.
- You set this whole thing up.

1608
01:30:50,445 --> 01:30:54,699
You set me up, huh? You are
so fired. And you're going to jail!

1609
01:30:54,783 --> 01:30:57,661
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
It was me. I did it.

1610
01:30:58,203 --> 01:30:59,412
You?

1611
01:31:00,622 --> 01:31:01,873
[scoffs]

1612
01:31:02,540 --> 01:31:05,085
- Why?
- You know...

1613
01:31:06,002 --> 01:31:10,173
It was just this weird idea I had
'cause the town needed money.

1614
01:31:10,840 --> 01:31:12,509
[scoffs] So you...

1615
01:31:12,592 --> 01:31:16,554
I shot the video and then
had Evan show it to you.

1616
01:31:17,263 --> 01:31:18,556
[stammers]

1617
01:31:18,640 --> 01:31:22,852
We needed 750 grand over three years
to keep the school from closing down.

1618
01:31:22,936 --> 01:31:24,813
We blew way past that.

1619
01:31:24,896 --> 01:31:27,190
We got enough to buy
back the base, redevelop it.

1620
01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:32,362
And the speech?
The viral speech?

1621
01:31:32,445 --> 01:31:33,947
[man] Can I get
a motion to vote?

1622
01:31:34,030 --> 01:31:36,658
Actually, I'm here about
that... Fuck, what's the word?

1623
01:31:36,741 --> 01:31:38,201
Resolution. I'll get it.

1624
01:31:39,035 --> 01:31:41,287
- Mike, you wanna help him with...
- Yeah.

1625
01:31:41,371 --> 01:31:42,831
- No.
- Just have it low and...

1626
01:31:43,415 --> 01:31:45,309
[man] Just leave enough
room for that road sign in there.

1627
01:31:45,333 --> 01:31:47,019
- Am I supposed to have these glasses?
- No glasses.

1628
01:31:47,043 --> 01:31:49,254
- I'm lost. [laughter]

1629
01:31:49,337 --> 01:31:52,257
[Diana] Okay, Dad, that's
good, but you have fo leave after.

1630
01:31:52,340 --> 01:31:55,593
All right, one more time. I
guess they weren't principles.

1631
01:31:57,012 --> 01:31:58,763
They're just hobbies.

1632
01:32:06,938 --> 01:32:08,815
[Diana] Holy shit,
I think we got it.

1633
01:32:08,898 --> 01:32:10,483
[all cheering]

1634
01:32:22,662 --> 01:32:24,956
And that was really
just baiting the hook.

1635
01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:27,292
You guys took it from there.
I was never expecting her.

1636
01:32:27,375 --> 01:32:29,252
Oh, I had a fucking blast.

1637
01:32:30,795 --> 01:32:32,589
So you used me.

1638
01:32:34,591 --> 01:32:36,009
We used you?

1639
01:32:37,302 --> 01:32:39,971
You guys only show up
here once every four years,

1640
01:32:40,055 --> 01:32:41,931
and only then 'cause
it's a swing state.

1641
01:32:42,015 --> 01:32:44,601
And then when it's
over, you're gone.

1642
01:32:44,684 --> 01:32:47,645
But we're still here with all the
same problems we had before,

1643
01:32:47,729 --> 01:32:50,065
just waiting around
for you to come back

1644
01:32:50,148 --> 01:32:52,776
and make the same
empty promises as last time.

1645
01:32:53,860 --> 01:32:55,612
We used the system.

1646
01:32:55,695 --> 01:32:59,449
You make millions of dollars
funneling tens of millions of dollars

1647
01:32:59,532 --> 01:33:03,078
into this election economy.

1648
01:33:03,828 --> 01:33:05,663
All we did is take a cut.

1649
01:33:07,999 --> 01:33:09,125
Mmm.

1650
01:33:10,460 --> 01:33:13,129
Well... I guess I just...

1651
01:33:13,630 --> 01:33:17,634
I thought that maybe you
and I had a little something.

1652
01:33:23,014 --> 01:33:24,641
I'm 28. [laughs]

1653
01:33:25,934 --> 01:33:29,604
In what world would
this... be okay?

1654
01:33:32,107 --> 01:33:35,860
♪ .C. and LA. Parts of New
York. Miami. Maybe Dallas.

1655
01:33:35,944 --> 01:33:37,153
[chuckles]

1656
01:33:38,696 --> 01:33:39,989
Look.

1657
01:33:41,241 --> 01:33:42,617
- It wasn't personal.
- Mmm.

1658
01:33:44,035 --> 01:33:46,538
- It was math.
- Math.

1659
01:33:47,997 --> 01:33:51,292
But this system? The
way we elect people?

1660
01:33:52,168 --> 01:33:55,505
It's terrifying. And exhausting.

1661
01:33:56,214 --> 01:33:58,967
And I think it's
driving us all insane.

1662
01:34:08,726 --> 01:34:12,647
The real problem is that the media is
completely complicit in this whole thing.

1663
01:34:12,730 --> 01:34:15,608
I absolutely agree. It's like Postman
said in Entertaining Ourselves.

1664
01:34:15,692 --> 01:34:17,819
- It's that news has become entertainment.
- Yeah.

1665
01:34:17,902 --> 01:34:19,612
And when that
happens, it's gone.

1666
01:34:19,696 --> 01:34:22,532
I thought he knew. I would get so
nervous every time he would come in.

1667
01:34:22,615 --> 01:34:24,885
I would just like... I couldn't
get my coffee order right.

1668
01:34:24,909 --> 01:34:27,096
- You were great. You were perfect.
- I was giving him the wrong thing.

1669
01:34:27,120 --> 01:34:31,624
- Plus, he has dreamy eyes a little bit.
- He's dashing.

1670
01:34:31,708 --> 01:34:33,418
He actually made me cry.

1671
01:34:34,210 --> 01:34:36,296
- He was like a shithead.
- Yeah.

1672
01:34:36,379 --> 01:34:39,799
It metastasizes, so it
keeps growing and...

1673
01:34:39,883 --> 01:34:42,719
Well, it becomes sort of like
any sort of autoimmune disorder.

1674
01:34:42,802 --> 01:34:45,138
- Yeah.
- It's like lupus. You know what I mean?

1675
01:34:45,221 --> 01:34:47,807
- That's actually a really great metaphor.
- It's a simile.

1676
01:34:47,891 --> 01:34:50,727
- It's like... 'Cause you said...
- 'Cause I said, "It's like."

1677
01:34:50,810 --> 01:34:53,010
- You said, "It's like."
- Yeah, right. It's like lupus.

1678
01:34:54,522 --> 01:34:56,608
What a clusterfuck.

1679
01:34:57,525 --> 01:34:59,319
Amen.

1680
01:35:04,157 --> 01:35:05,200
[Diana] How we looking?

1681
01:35:05,283 --> 01:35:08,119
Well, they're saying
these back acres

1682
01:35:08,203 --> 01:35:11,539
are gonna become the
over-55 community health center.

1683
01:35:11,623 --> 01:35:14,876
Madison has promised a
satellite campus for the front.

1684
01:35:14,959 --> 01:35:16,002
Okay.

1685
01:35:16,085 --> 01:35:18,463
And you know that we have to
redo the septic on the back 50.

1686
01:35:18,546 --> 01:35:20,048
- We heard all about it.
- Okay.

1687
01:35:20,131 --> 01:35:22,383
- Hey, you.
- Hey, you.

1688
01:35:22,967 --> 01:35:24,761
She is something, huh?

1689
01:35:24,844 --> 01:35:25,845
Hmm.

1690
01:35:31,476 --> 01:35:32,769
Are you listening to me?

1691
01:35:36,439 --> 01:35:37,899
Are you listening to me?

1692
01:35:39,734 --> 01:35:41,069
[Ann] Are you listening to me?

1693
01:35:41,611 --> 01:35:44,530
Oh, Gary, honey.
I'm just so excited.

1694
01:35:44,614 --> 01:35:46,658
I can't wait until we
get the cafe tables in.

1695
01:35:46,741 --> 01:35:50,787
I think people are really gonna
like those a lot, you know?

1696
01:35:50,870 --> 01:35:53,539
And then we can
put the umbrellas up.

1697
01:35:53,623 --> 01:35:57,710
And people can just sit outside
and have coffee and, you know...

1698
01:35:57,794 --> 01:35:59,712
Are you... Are you
listening to me?

1699
01:36:00,380 --> 01:36:03,299
Are you listening
to me? Hey, fuck up!

1700
01:36:03,383 --> 01:36:05,843
[Faith] Hey, fuck up.
Are you listening to me?

1701
01:36:05,927 --> 01:36:08,388
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm listening to you.

1702
01:36:08,471 --> 01:36:11,057
You don't open a dossier for
less than two million dollars.

1703
01:36:11,140 --> 01:36:13,601
I know. That's what I'm
talking to them about right now.

1704
01:36:13,685 --> 01:36:16,562
- Two million dollars.
- God, I hate you.

1705
01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:17,647
Ditto.

1706
01:36:20,108 --> 01:36:23,361
[man on phone] Gary?
Gary, are you there?

1707
01:36:24,696 --> 01:36:25,863
Gary?

1708
01:36:26,739 --> 01:36:28,116
Yo, Gary.

1709
01:36:56,477 --> 01:36:58,688
Colonel Jack
Hastings, Deerlaken.

1710
01:36:58,771 --> 01:37:00,732
Did the media fall
for a false narrative

1711
01:37:00,815 --> 01:37:03,067
<i>just because it fit into
our preconceived notion</i>

1712
01:37:03,151 --> 01:37:05,862
of the divide of this country
between red and blue

1713
01:37:05,945 --> 01:37:08,323
without actually
checking the facts?

1714
01:37:08,406 --> 01:37:09,949
Were we irresponsible?

1715
01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:13,828
Well, we're the news. Are we
not supposed to cover the news?

1716
01:37:13,911 --> 01:37:15,705
<i>I mean, these are
newsworthy stories.</i>

1717
01:37:15,788 --> 01:37:18,207
<i>We're absolutely in
the right to cover them.</i>

1718
01:37:18,291 --> 01:37:21,961
It is literally our job
to cover the news.

1719
01:37:22,045 --> 01:37:25,131
<i>But isn't there a way to report the
news without so much speculation,</i>

1720
01:37:25,214 --> 01:37:27,008
without a false sense of urgency

1721
01:37:27,091 --> 01:37:31,554
that causes us to breathlessly
report facts that maybe are not facts,

1722
01:37:31,637 --> 01:37:35,600
and are we framing these
stories on an artificial right-left axis

1723
01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:38,603
because that's how our
pundit economy is set up?

1724
01:37:38,686 --> 01:37:40,355
Is there a better
way to do this?

1725
01:37:45,943 --> 01:37:48,696
I'm just kidding. Unfortunately,
we have to leave it there.

1726
01:37:48,780 --> 01:37:50,865
Thank you all for watching.

1727
01:37:50,948 --> 01:37:52,617
[man chuckling] She's kidding!

1728
01:37:58,831 --> 01:38:01,292
<i>♪ Talking like we used to do ♪</i>

1729
01:38:02,710 --> 01:38:05,421
<i>♪ It was always me and you ♪</i>

1730
01:38:06,589 --> 01:38:10,760
<i>♪ Hold on, darling ♪</i>

1731
01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:14,097
<i>♪ This body is yours ♪</i>

1732
01:38:14,180 --> 01:38:18,559
<i>♪ This body is yours and mine ♪</i>

1733
01:38:19,644 --> 01:38:24,482
<i>♪ Well, hold on, my darling ♪</i>

1734
01:38:25,066 --> 01:38:27,819
<i>♪ This mess was yours ♪</i>

1735
01:38:29,195 --> 01:38:31,948
<i>♪ Now your mess is mine ♪</i>

1736
01:38:38,329 --> 01:38:41,332
[singer vocalizing]

1737
01:38:43,418 --> 01:38:45,670
<i>♪ Your mess is mine ♪</i>

1738
01:38:46,587 --> 01:38:48,673
<i>♪ See you in the
marketplace... ♪</i>

1739
01:38:48,756 --> 01:38:50,967
[Jon Stewart] Could
something like this happen?

1740
01:38:51,050 --> 01:38:55,179
Legally, this could
absolutely happen.

1741
01:38:55,263 --> 01:39:00,184
Somebody could create
a political organization,

1742
01:39:00,268 --> 01:39:04,188
a so-called outside
group, a super PAC, 527,

1743
01:39:04,272 --> 01:39:07,316
raise an unlimited
amount of money

1744
01:39:07,400 --> 01:39:10,570
and then choose
to give that money

1745
01:39:10,653 --> 01:39:13,322
to another
organization... a charity...

1746
01:39:13,406 --> 01:39:16,242
And use it for public purposes.

1747
01:39:16,325 --> 01:39:19,579
And you don't need the
donor's consent to do that.

1748
01:39:20,163 --> 01:39:21,956
The problem we have is that

1749
01:39:22,039 --> 01:39:25,251
none of the pieces of the
system are working today.

1750
01:39:25,334 --> 01:39:28,754
You have regulators like the
Federal Election Commission

1751
01:39:28,838 --> 01:39:30,756
that don't have a
quorum, can't meet,

1752
01:39:30,840 --> 01:39:33,718
and when they do, they
disagree on what the law is.

1753
01:39:33,801 --> 01:39:37,513
You have Congress deadlocked,
so it can't rewrite the laws.

1754
01:39:37,597 --> 01:39:43,144
You have the Supreme Court
that thinks almost nothing is corrupt

1755
01:39:43,227 --> 01:39:47,565
and that citizens won't
think the sale of access...

1756
01:39:47,648 --> 01:39:53,070
What the Court calls ingratiation in
return for giving money to candidates...

1757
01:39:53,154 --> 01:39:54,405
Is a problem.

1758
01:39:54,489 --> 01:39:55,740
[Jon Stewart] So, to sum up,

1759
01:39:55,823 --> 01:39:58,743
we currently have hundreds
of millions to billions of dollars

1760
01:39:58,826 --> 01:40:00,870
that is untraceable,

1761
01:40:01,621 --> 01:40:04,040
that can pour into groups

1762
01:40:04,123 --> 01:40:07,084
that are actually
coordinating with candidates

1763
01:40:07,168 --> 01:40:10,046
who end up having to spend
a good amount of their time

1764
01:40:10,129 --> 01:40:14,717
raising more and more money to keep
up with the arms race that is occurring.

1765
01:40:14,800 --> 01:40:19,138
Uh, the money continues
to pour in and corrupt

1766
01:40:19,222 --> 01:40:23,142
not just where they spend their
time and how they spend their time,

1767
01:40:23,226 --> 01:40:27,313
but on the types of legislation that
they would even bring to the fore.

1768
01:40:27,730 --> 01:40:33,611
And the one group that would be
charged with regulating this spigot,

1769
01:40:33,694 --> 01:40:37,907
uh, doesn't meet 'cause
there aren't enough of them.

1770
01:40:38,324 --> 01:40:39,450
Yes.

1771
01:40:39,951 --> 01:40:41,536
[both laughing]

1772
01:40:43,454 --> 01:40:45,289
I realize that's not
helpful to you, but...

1773
01:40:45,373 --> 01:40:47,041
[Stewart] It is very
helpful. Thank you.

1774
01:40:48,543 --> 01:40:51,337
<i>♪ Your mess is mine ♪</i>

1775
01:40:54,632 --> 01:40:57,218
<i>♪ Your mess is mine ♪</i>