1
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:07,173
- I picked up your order
from the printers.

2
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,708
- Oh, the anniversary flyer.

3
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,344
Let me see.

4
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,147
Oh, it looks great!

5
00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,482
- What the heck?

6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,317
He only gave us one.

7
00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,452
- I only ordered one.

8
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,622
This is for the regulars,
and they know where to look.

9
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,324
- The anniversary party is on?

10
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,626
I just heard Tall Kathy talking
to Short Kathy about it.

11
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:28,694
- It's on.

12
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,828
- Yes!

13
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:32,197
Oh, Izzy, you are
going to love this.

14
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:35,668
We have a raffle and karaoke,
and there's a roast.

15
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:36,835
- Who gets roasted?

16
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,003
- The regulars.

17
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:40,572
Every year, Daddy would emcee,
and he loved them so much

18
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:44,176
that he'd just rip them
to shreds.

19
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:46,745
- He's like Joan Rivers and Don
Rickles just rolled into one.

20
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,315
You know, he'd be all like,
zing, zing, zingity-zing!

21
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:53,686
- OK, the bar is
absolutely buzzing

22
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,654
about the anniversary party.

23
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,222
- But who's going to emcee?

24
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,791
Happy left some really
big shoes to fill.

25
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,592
- I've got somebody in mind.

26
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:03,595
They know the tavern,
naturally funny,

27
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:07,866
and they have a gorgeous mane
of red hair.

28
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,568
- Oh, Bobbie,
I'm flattered,

29
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,471
but I don't think
I need to dye my hair.

30
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,873
- I'm talking about me,
ya hockey puck.

31
00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:16,208
Zing, zing!

32
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,609
- Oh, I'm sorry.

33
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:21,213
I just was confused because
I'm the obvious choice.

34
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,315
- You really think
you're the obvious choice

35
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,184
to replace my dad?

36
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,418
- [chuckles] My mistake.

37
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,588
I thought we were going off
comedic talent, not nepotism.

38
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,723
Zing, zing.

39
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,558
- Oh, OK.

40
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,494
Maybe we just take it
down a notch.

41
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,296
- Happy you always said
that if anyone thought

42
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,497
they were funnier than him,

43
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:41,734
they could challenge him
for the job.

44
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,203
- That would be up a notch.

45
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,505
- I live for drama.

46
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,840
- You know what?

47
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:48,874
Game on.

48
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,376
- Oh, all right.

49
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:53,245
Challenge accepted.

50
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,715
- I have a bad feeling
about this.

51
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,916
- Oh, don't worry.

52
00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,485
We'll still be friends, right?

53
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,953
- Yeah,
this is just two friends

54
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,621
having a friendly competition.

55
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,690
- Two funny ladies being funny.

56
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:05,958
It'll be great.

57
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,726
And Emmett and Takoda
can judge.

58
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:08,927
- I'm already bored.

59
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:10,663
Wake me up when there's drama.

60
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:16,835
{\an8}<i>- ♪ Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ♪</i>

61
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,637
{\an8}<i>♪ To get through the day ♪</i>

62
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,673
{\an8}<i>♪ And sleep on
through the night ♪</i>

63
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,741
<i>♪ But here
you'll find a place ♪</i>

64
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:26,345
<i>♪ That'll surely
lift your spirits ♪</i>

65
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:31,584
<i>♪ You belong
at Happy's Place ♪</i>

66
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,519
{\an8}- Boy, it smells good in here.

67
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,422
{\an8}- Must be the grease cleaner.

68
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:39,491
{\an8}Highly toxic with just a touch
of lemon scent.

69
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,695
{\an8}- Have I ever told you
how valuable you are?

70
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,962
{\an8}- Once. Just now.

71
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:46,298
{\an8}What do you want?

72
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:47,933
{\an8}- Want? Me?

73
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,736
{\an8}I want for nothing.

74
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,572
{\an8}OK, I want you to promise me
that you'll vote for me

75
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,807
{\an8}'cause I want to be the emcee

76
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:55,941
{\an8}at the anniversary party.

77
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,643
{\an8}- Mm-hmm. No.

78
00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:00,713
{\an8}- Come on, Emmett,
what's the big deal?

79
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,848
{\an8}- I realize you don't know
anything about judging

80
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,884
{\an8}a talent contest.

81
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:08,954
{\an8}The decision should be made
on talent and talent alone.

82
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,889
{\an8}And that's what
America expects,

83
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,727
{\an8}and that's what
America deserves.

84
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:19,832
{\an8}- 2:03 and Emmett
has lost his mind.

85
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,934
{\an8}- I thought you were looking
forward to this competition.

86
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,635
{\an8}- Only if I win.

87
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,704
{\an8}Do you have any idea why
nobody ever challenged Daddy?

88
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,840
{\an8}- 'Cause they didn't
want to get fired?

89
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:31,577
{\an8}- No, 'cause he was the heart
and soul of this place.

90
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,545
{\an8}That's when he let it shine.

91
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,814
{\an8}I want people to think of me
the same way.

92
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,750
- Then win the damn thing.

93
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,352
Winning doesn't mean anything
if it's not fair and square.

94
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,588
I'm not going to take
that away from you.

95
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,689
- Fine.

96
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:47,693
2:04, Emmett turned
into a traitor.

97
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,661
- 2:04?

98
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,398
Time for my break.

99
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:58,370
- So how's prepping for the
big showdown with Gabby going?

100
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,772
- It's hard to tell.

101
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,409
These walls may talk,
but they sure don't laugh.

102
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,511
- Hey.

103
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,913
I just told two people
at the bar a funny story,

104
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,349
and they said, and I quote--

105
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,486
[laughing]

106
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,395
- Well, I'm so glad you're
into the competition, Gabby.

107
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,064
Me, too.
- Hm, really?

108
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,699
- Oh, yeah.

109
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,401
I said something to Isabella,
and she laughed so hard

110
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:32,339
that she smashed her head
on the desk.

111
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,575
- Ow?

112
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,511
- Yeah, well, I better get back
out there, you know?

113
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,347
Oh, what's that now?

114
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,483
They're calling me
the new Happy.

115
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:46,719
Oh, I'm coming, Tall Kathy.

116
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,455
Hold your horses.

117
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,758
- I'm kind of jealous
of this competition you're in.

118
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,761
It reminds me of when I was
on the debate team in college.

119
00:04:55,762 --> 00:05:00,032
Not to brag,
but we were undefeated.

120
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,068
- That is bragging.

121
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,704
And very interesting.

122
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,973
I actually know of a way
that you can be

123
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,041
part of the competition.

124
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,642
- How fun.

125
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:11,910
What do you need me to do?

126
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:14,481
- Help me destroy Gabby.

127
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,650
- OK.

128
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,453
Want to help, but not sure I'm
comfortable destroying someone.

129
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,389
- No, I just want you
to help me with my act.

130
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,423
- Oh.

131
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,891
Oh, my gosh, of course.

132
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,427
This is exactly like
speech and debate.

133
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:29,595
Oh, man, I'm so excited.

134
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,898
Let's make those
Barnard girls cry!

135
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,068
- Oh, OK.

136
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,836
Well, I have some
material ready.

137
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,004
It just needs
a little polishing.

138
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,873
- Great.
Persuade me.

139
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:41,907
I mean, make me laugh.

140
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,609
- Yeah.

141
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,010
All right,
so I'm gonna start off

142
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,612
by introducing myself,

143
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:47,813
and then I'm gonna do
the crowd work.

144
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,715
- Oh, love that.

145
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:50,516
- Yeah.

146
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,620
And then I'm gonna say,
nice hat.

147
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,558
And then I'm gonna
go into my hat jokes.

148
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,126
- Who are you saying
"nice hat" to?

149
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,461
- Emmett.

150
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,897
I'm gonna give
Emmett this hat.

151
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,702
- You think Emmett is going
to put on a funny hat?

152
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,939
- OK, maybe I get rid
of all the hat jokes.

153
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,808
I'm just gonna go
into my routine, OK?

154
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,142
- So excited.

155
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,111
- OK.
[laughs]

156
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,481
Two bartenders are fighting
over what the best drink is,

157
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:23,515
and one says it's--

158
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,850
- Bobbie, look up.
- What?

159
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,752
- Well, you want to look
at the audience.

160
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:28,020
- Oh, right.

161
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,855
OK.

162
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,826
Tell your monkey that's
how we make it in New York!

163
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,064
Come on.

164
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,800
That's hilarious.

165
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:45,037
- I feel like you
left out the middle.

166
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,906
- You made me look up.

167
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:49,942
What's the matter with me?

168
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,276
I'm funny.

169
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:55,014
I know a lot of people say they
are, and they're not, but I am.

170
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,682
- I know what's going on.

171
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,551
This means a lot to you,
and you're trying too hard.

172
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:00,953
- Yeah, you're right.

173
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,821
I gotta loosen up.

174
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,990
- Same thing would happen to my
friend Kristi on debate team.

175
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,593
- Yeah?
- She was naturally persuasive.

176
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,763
She convinced me
to get a mullet once.

177
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,132
But put her behind a podium,
and she'd freeze.

178
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,967
- I don't want to freeze.

179
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,235
- You won't.

180
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,570
Not with a three-time
collegiate champ

181
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:19,571
in your corner.

182
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:22,074
Now give me those cards.

183
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:25,845
You don't need these
or this silly hat.

184
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:33,386
<i>[upbeat music]</i>

185
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,092
- Hey, Takoda.

186
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,994
Need any help?

187
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,295
- Sure, Gabby.
Can you help me chop?

188
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,596
- Yeah.

189
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:45,831
I love chopping.

190
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:46,899
Chop, chop.

191
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,534
Chop o'clock.

192
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,537
On it.

193
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:55,007
You know, carrots can
improve your eyesight.

194
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,276
- And your soup.

195
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,012
- So true.

196
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,748
Question for you.

197
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,984
Are you as worried about
our friendship as I am?

198
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,087
- Why would you ask that?

199
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,688
- Well, I'm sorry, I just--

200
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,123
I have to be honest.

201
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,858
We used to be solid.

202
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,093
Like a rock.

203
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,895
Or Emmett's forearms.

204
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:20,667
But lately, I'm just not sure
where your loyalty lies.

205
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,604
- I apologize.

206
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:26,972
Maybe I've been distant.

207
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:30,309
My wife says
I do that sometimes.

208
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,777
- Well, don't sweat it.

209
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,178
I know you've got a lot
on your plate.

210
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,347
Even more now that I've done
all this chopping.

211
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,049
[laughs]

212
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,817
Everything will be fine
once you just

213
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:41,153
vote to make me the new emcee.

214
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:44,023
- No, that wouldn't be fair
to you or Bobbie.

215
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,192
- Well, it would be
if Bobbie didn't know.

216
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,994
- Aha!

217
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,796
Busted!

218
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,264
I can't believe
you're trying to get

219
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,801
Takoda to compromise his
sacred duty as comedy judge.

220
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,337
Where's your integrity?

221
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,372
- It ran away with yours.

222
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,941
To Hypocrite Island.

223
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:06,712
This is just like when you
asked Emmett for his vote.

224
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,813
- How did you know that?

225
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:11,884
- I didn't, until just now!

226
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,086
- Does she know that you've
got Isabella to help coach you?

227
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,220
- [gasps]

228
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,923
- Do you know you're not part
of this conversation?

229
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:21,260
- Oh, so you couldn't
go at it alone, huh?

230
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,063
I must really have you rattled.

231
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,230
- I don't rattle.

232
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,866
I roll.

233
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,074
- Can you believe she
went to Isabella for help?

234
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,642
How pathetic.

235
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,044
- We can't let this
party divide us.

236
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,714
It's the opposite of what
Happy would have wanted.

237
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,717
- Yes, of course.
Exactly. Well said.

238
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,187
Come on.

239
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,122
A French fry joke?

240
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,824
[chuckles]

241
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,060
Oh, shoot, it's good.

242
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,429
Did you hear any of that?

243
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,798
- No, unlike you,
I don't press my ears

244
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,001
to unsanitary surfaces.

245
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,737
- Isabella is in there
helping Bobbie.

246
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,005
OK, that is not playing fair.

247
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,806
- And you're telling me
this because?

248
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,274
- Because I know
that you used to help

249
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,342
Happy with his material.

250
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,211
In secret.

251
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,114
- He told me he would
take that to the grave.

252
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,749
How do you know that?

253
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,018
Are you doing seances again?

254
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,987
- Yeah, but that's not
how I know.

255
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:25,758
There was a certain Steve-ness
to Happy's roasts, you know.

256
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,894
Good-natured with
just a dash of harm.

257
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:32,765
- I'm flattered you
noticed my duality.

258
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,233
- So will you help me?

259
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,334
- It depends.

260
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,137
Why is this important to you?

261
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:42,174
- Because I have never won
a competition in my whole life.

262
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,109
I used to think it was
because I'm not competitive,

263
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,680
but my mom told me
it's because I suck.

264
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,085
You know, I have
never made her laugh.

265
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,187
Not once.

266
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,023
- I'm in.

267
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,158
- Yes!

268
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,060
OK, so I thought I would start
with just a little bit--

269
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,829
- Uh, uh, uh.

270
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,231
If we're working together,

271
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:07,933
there is one rule.

272
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:11,937
You have to do
exactly what I say.

273
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,505
- I mean, is that necessary?

274
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,240
- You want to be a winner?
- Yes.

275
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,208
- Then hear and obey.

276
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,910
- Oh.

277
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,345
- Give me your first joke.
- Oh.

278
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,779
Yes, sir.

279
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,281
[chuckles]
I started bartending--

280
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,116
- Too slow.

281
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,217
Pace.

282
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,285
Again.

283
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,219
- I started bartending here--

284
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,253
- Too fast.

285
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,756
Where is the rhythm?

286
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,358
Again.
- I started bartending--

287
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,525
- Again.
- I started bartending--

288
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,526
- Again!
- I started bartending here--

289
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,495
- Again!
Higher.

290
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,231
- I started bartending--
- Lower.

291
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,266
- I started bartending here--
- Physically lower.

292
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,173
- Bah bah bah bah bah
bah bah bah bah?

293
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,242
Bah bah bah.

294
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,276
Bah bah.

295
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,780
[laughing]

296
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,049
Hilarious.

297
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,118
- What's with the code?

298
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,853
You worried about somebody
stealing your material?

299
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,021
- Oh, of course not.

300
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,455
We're all family here.

301
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,125
- Hi, guys.

302
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,396
I don't need to
see your "jokes."

303
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,564
I've been working with Bobbie
on her delivery,

304
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,299
and she's got this in the bag.

305
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,268
- Oh, no,
I forgot all the times

306
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,437
Bobbie told stories
so uproarious,

307
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,938
we laughed till we cried.

308
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,375
Oh, wait, that never happened.

309
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,943
- Have you forgotten
that you're dealing

310
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,445
with a psychology major?

311
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,081
I know that confident facade
is covering the fact

312
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,850
that you're actually
shaking in your boots.

313
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,819
- I don't wear boots.

314
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,288
They're germ buckets.

315
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:41,360
Let's put a little wager
on who's going to win this.

316
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,362
- Brilliant idea.

317
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,497
You should have to put your
money where your mouth is.

318
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,232
- Great.
What's the bet?

319
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,034
- That's it.

320
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:52,104
If Bobbie wins,
you have to put your money

321
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,540
where your mouth is

322
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,842
and kiss a dollar bill.

323
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,178
[trilling]

324
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,947
Mwah.

325
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,516
- I'll take that bet.

326
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,952
'Cause the only thing
my confidence is covering

327
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,620
is more confidence.

328
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,122
- Mm-hmm.

329
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,459
Professor Reese would
call that deflecting.

330
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,061
- I'm afraid to ask,
but what if Gabby wins?

331
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:19,431
- When Gabby wins,
Isabella cannot mention

332
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,400
having gone to college

333
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:25,505
for a whole entire day.

334
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,507
- You two are out for blood.

335
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,076
- Game on!

336
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,277
- Yeah, you're running.

337
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,947
You're running
because you're scared.

338
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,549
- I'm not the first person to
run when you were behind them.

339
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,418
- Oh, hilarious.

340
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,919
- Enough!

341
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,921
This competition is
tearing us apart.

342
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,390
- I agree.

343
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,492
And it's her fault.

344
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,560
You know, when you point
your finger at somebody,

345
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:52,498
you have three fingers
pointing back at you.

346
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:53,599
- Oh, wow, she's right.

347
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,334
Look at that, huh.

348
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,037
- In the spirit of Happy's
Place, can't one of you

349
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,672
just step aside
for the other one?

350
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,541
- Aw,
that's a lovely suggestion.

351
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:03,575
How about it, Gabby?

352
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:07,012
Are you ready to step aside?

353
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,581
- Oh, Bobbie,
you know that normally

354
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:12,151
I would do anything for you.

355
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:16,689
But the truth is, there's
a lot of things I can't do.

356
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,491
Parallel park.

357
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,696
Anything tennis.

358
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:27,366
But every night, I stay up
and I watch those late night

359
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,002
TV hosts,
and I whisper to myself--

360
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,473
[whispering]
Gabby, you could do that.

361
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:39,211
And if I could do that here,
well, I mean,

362
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:43,516
it would just validate
my entire existence.

363
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,419
- Bobbie,
I guess it's up to you.

364
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,188
- Oh, Gabby.

365
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:53,559
I have to say, no.

366
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:58,530
Look, this night always
belonged to--

367
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:01,500
our daddy.

368
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,036
Isabella never
got to see him shine.

369
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,372
But maybe, just maybe,
through me,

370
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:10,576
she'll be able to get a glimpse
of his light.

371
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,512
- Daddy, is that you?

372
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,281
- Oh, come on.

373
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:21,754
- This is gonna be
an impossible decision.

374
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,422
- No.

375
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,556
No, it's not.

376
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:27,092
You can't win a comedy
competition with a sob story.

377
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,128
- I guess it comes down to,
would you rather

378
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:32,431
see me kiss a dollar
or have an entire day

379
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:37,170
where Isabella doesn't remind
us she's a psychology major?

380
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:45,745
<i>[upbeat music]</i>

381
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,350
- Don't you think we should
be clear-headed for this?

382
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,086
- I asked myself
that same question.

383
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:58,157
I answered it
about five beers ago.

384
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,694
- I don't feel comfortable
judging others.

385
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:04,063
Didn't one of your great
teachers say, "Judge not,

386
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,431
lest ye be judged"?

387
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:06,765
- Yeah.

388
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,069
He's got a lot of stuff.

389
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,438
We use it as we need it.

390
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,073
Let's get this show
on the road.

391
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,741
Gabby, you're up!

392
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,276
- OK, this is it.

393
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,711
I can do this.
- Mm-hmm.

394
00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:19,778
- You believe in me, right?

395
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,380
- Here's what I believe.

396
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,582
I believe this moment
defines who you are,

397
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,752
and you must conquer it,
or it will conquer you.

398
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,454
I believe you got one chance,

399
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:32,726
one shot to prove
you are not garbage.

400
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,228
- Holy crap.

401
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,763
Is that from an Eminem song?

402
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:41,767
- That's how my father dropped
me off at elementary school.

403
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,702
- Oh, my God.

404
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,305
Your dad is my mom.

405
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,140
- That's why I decided
to help you.

406
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,508
Duh.

407
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,376
- [mouthing]

408
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,644
- This whole thing
just makes me sad.

409
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,546
I'm sorry, Emmett.

410
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,716
I won't choose
between my friends.

411
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:03,155
- Speaking of choosing friends,
I pick Tall Kathy, huh?

412
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,623
Ever since Short Kathy
got divorced,

413
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,792
not fun, am I right?

414
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,361
- Uh-oh, she's good.

415
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,763
- What are you talking about?

416
00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,331
Emmett hasn't laughed once.

417
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:13,699
- Didn't you hear him go "pft"?

418
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,170
That's Emmett's version
of rolling in the aisle.

419
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,673
- We're not concerned with
what Gabby is doing, OK?

420
00:17:20,674 --> 00:17:23,275
Our only focus is
what you'll be doing.

421
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,677
- Oh, dang it!

422
00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:26,145
He did another "pft."

423
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,579
She's killing it up there.

424
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,682
- Bobbie, Bobbie, listen to me.

425
00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:30,716
- Yeah?

426
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,584
- You're ready for this, OK?

427
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,720
You just have to remember
the two things we went over

428
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,356
again and again and again
because they make

429
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,691
the whole presentation work--

430
00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:43,495
emotional journey mapping
and tempo variability.

431
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,831
- This might be a little late
to tell you this,

432
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:49,234
but I don't know
what that means.

433
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,502
- Bobbie!

434
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,470
You're up!

435
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,473
- OK.
- Crap.

436
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,314
- You know, that was
a pretty cheap laugh,

437
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,316
pretending you
couldn't even remember

438
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,618
the name of the tavern.

439
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,587
- I wasn't going
for a cheap laugh.

440
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,722
I froze.

441
00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:11,190
I actually couldn't
remember the name

442
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,157
of the place for a second.

443
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,192
- Oh, sure.

444
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,461
- [sighs] Seriously.

445
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,296
What's really bad, it's--

446
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:21,333
happens to be the same name
as my daddy.

447
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,868
- You might have to teach me
that little trick.

448
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,537
I would love to forget
the name of my mom.

449
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,839
- Pft!

450
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,608
- Well, if we're talking
about cheap laughs,

451
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:34,313
your nicknames for the staff
bit was low-hanging fruit.

452
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:35,614
- What are you mad about?

453
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,916
I didn't make one up for you.

454
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,618
- What about "Red Thunder"?

455
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,953
That's what you call me
around here sometimes, right?

456
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,222
- Pft.

457
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,358
- Not to your face.

458
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,961
- Actually,
I don't mind that one.

459
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:53,799
When Daddy'd get mad at me, he
used to call me "Crimson Turd."

460
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,768
- Pft.

461
00:18:55,769 --> 00:18:58,537
- OK, what could possibly
be taking so long?

462
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,906
Gabby clearly won this,
hands down.

463
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,241
- Oh, please.

464
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,243
Insult humor is so easy.

465
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,644
Where'd you get that sweater,

466
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,647
Really Old Navy?

467
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:12,251
- Hey, uh, could you both
do me a really big favor?

468
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,652
- Sure.
- Of course.

469
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,689
- Shut up.

470
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:18,657
OK, I'm ready.

471
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,627
[grunts]

472
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,396
[sighs]
This is what I think.

473
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,932
Gabby, you are damn funny.

474
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,934
- Yeah!
- Yes!

475
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:33,606
You are now an alumni of
Who Gives a Crap University.

476
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,942
- Thank you, Emmett.

477
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:40,646
Um, but, you know,

478
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,382
Bobbie was kind of funny, too.

479
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,284
- Yes, she was.

480
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,952
As a matter of fact,
she was great.

481
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,787
- Yes! Ha-ha!

482
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,858
Have fun making out
with George Washington.

483
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,661
- Hang on, Emmett.

484
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,628
I don't think I was
funnier than her.

485
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,631
- You weren't.
- Oh.

486
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,968
- Or vice versa.

487
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,603
- See?

488
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:07,873
This is why you should have
stopped at three beers.

489
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,876
- No matter how funny you two
are, you're funnier together.

490
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,344
- Hm.

491
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,612
- When I look out from
the kitchen

492
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,381
and you two are behind the bar,

493
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:19,585
all I see
are regular customers laughing.

494
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,954
- I guess we do get
them going pretty good.

495
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,690
- And I don't freeze when
I'm with you 'cause I know

496
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,592
you can make anything funny.

497
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,861
- Right back at you,
Red Thunder.

498
00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:29,628
- [chuckles]

499
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:33,599
You're the best,
Blonde Buzzard.

500
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:39,738
- So my choice
for this year's emcee

501
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,042
would be...

502
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:44,610
both of you.

503
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:48,047
- Ugh, boo-hoo.
- Lame.

504
00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:50,849
- Aw, I like that.

505
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,484
What do you think, Gabby?

506
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,820
- What do I think?
- Yeah.

507
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,655
- I think your dad
would be thrilled

508
00:20:56,656 --> 00:21:00,426
{\an8}that it takes two funny people
to fill his shoes.

509
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,395
{\an8}- Oh.

510
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,832
{\an8}- OK.

511
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:10,035
{\an8}But Steve still has to kiss
the dollar bill, right?

512
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,806
{\an8}- You know what you can kiss?

513
00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:18,377
{\an8}- You are indeed
a wise judge, my friend.

514
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,845
{\an8}Even with a buzz on.

515
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,947
{\an8}- [laughs]

516
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:24,016
{\an8}all: Zing!

517
00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:25,784
{\an8}- Pft!

518
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,488
{\an8}[laughter]