1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,254
- And don't pack too tight.
2
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:05,881
Suitcase side pocket
3
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,467
especially good for small objects:
4
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,470
Earrings, chewing gum, shoe polish,
5
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:15,265
needle and thread, bracelet charms, things like that.
6
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,310
The top pocket is great for hair rollers.
7
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:22,022
Because it is made of plastic, the lid cannot be pulled down.
8
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,275
Also, so that your shampoo and cosmetics don't spill,
9
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,986
put all your sticky items in a plastic bag.
10
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,905
I call it the Disgust Bag.
11
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,992
Today's amazing miracle is permanent press fabric
12
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,411
is a great help for young girls on the move.
13
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,872
But for that very special woolen jacket,
14
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,582
there is still some good old tissue paper
15
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,585
to help prevent unpleasant creases.
16
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,439
You don't need tissue for all types of clothes,
17
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:46,829
but you will need some common sense
18
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,883
to keep this case from looking sloppy.
19
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,261
And one last tip, girls.
20
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,514
Pack your sexiest nightwear right on top,
21
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,641
just in case you need it in a hurry.
22
00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,184
- Packing a suitcase?
23
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,395
What kind of talent is that?
24
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:02,728
I can pack a suitcase.
25
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,165
- This is the only thing he can do
26
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,691
without falling off the stage.
27
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,361
- He's cute. I kind of liked the nightgown joke.
28
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:11,895
- That's just the kind of thing they hate in finals.
29
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,699
They're not looking for sex.
30
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,159
- Everyone is looking for sex.
31
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,161
- Thank You.
32
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,746
(audience applauds)
33
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,360
- And now a winner to represent
34
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,917
Imperial County in the state finals,
35
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,545
winner from El Centro: Connie Thompson.
36
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:31,675
(audience applauds)
(audience cheers)
37
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:41,976
- Thank you.
38
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:46,565
♪ An American girl you see
39
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:51,653
♪ She's everything an American girl should be
40
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,368
♪ She wears the crown with great love and respect
41
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:02,122
♪ She is a young American girl
42
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,878
- Smile.
♪ Smile
43
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:12,758
♪ Even though your heart hurts
44
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:17,679
♪ Smile, even if it hurts
45
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:22,768
♪ When there are clouds in the sky
46
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,273
♪ You will succeed
47
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:33,403
♪ If you smile through your fears and sadness
48
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:40,243
♪ Smile and maybe tomorrow
49
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:46,249
♪ You will see the sun come shining for you
50
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:56,802
♪ Smile even though your heart hurts
51
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:03,725
♪ Smile even if it hurts
52
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:08,814
♪ When there are clouds in the sky
53
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:15,821
♪ You can survive if you smile
54
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:20,909
♪ Through your fear and sadness
55
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:25,914
♪ Smile and maybe tomorrow
56
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:32,212
♪ You will see the sun come shining for you
57
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:38,385
♪ For you
58
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:43,515
♪ Light up your face with joy
59
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:49,563
♪ Hide every trace of sadness
60
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:54,901
♪ Although tears may be very close
61
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:05,704
♪ Itulah saatnya kamu harus terus mencoba
62
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:12,753
♪ Tersenyumlah, apa gunanya menangis
63
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:18,842
♪ You will find that life is still precious
64
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:25,223
♪ If you just smile
65
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,227
(bright music)
66
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:52,334
♪ Itulah saatnya kamu harus terus berusaha
67
00:04:55,712 --> 00:05:00,550
♪ Smile, what's the use of crying
68
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:06,598
♪ You will find that life is still precious
69
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,437
♪ Jika kamu hanya tersenyum
70
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:21,029
- Girls! Sekarang, hanya ada dua hal yang perlu diingat.
71
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,241
Jadilah dirimu sendiri dan tetaplah tersenyum!
72
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:33,792
- Hello, kids.
73
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,125
My name is Mr. Wilson Shears and I am the president
74
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,172
from this year's American Princess Pageant.
75
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,675
I know y'all must be kind of shit,
76
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,568
but I have some announcements.
77
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,054
First, regarding your luggage.
78
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,642
Your luggage will arrive in the lobby.
79
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:57,315
Some of your luggage will arrive.
80
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,329
There seems to be chaos at the airport.
81
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,111
- Girls, keep smiling.
82
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,738
We will carry all your luggage.
83
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,466
sent to your adoptive parents' house.
84
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,575
- Yes, we will.
85
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,703
Now, I have one further announcement
86
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,956
from the Veterans War Memorial Auditorium
87
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,667
Director of Maintenance and his staff.
88
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,919
- That's me and you, Logan.
89
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,133
- "Requested that the girls do not throw away
90
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,967
sanitation them their pads in the toilet.
91
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:27,304
"Because there are so many girls in the hall
92
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,933
"And because sanitary napkins are thick and difficult."
93
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,936
Well, don't do that.
94
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,648
Now, I want to turn things around.
95
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,777
to someone I'm sure you all know, Miss Brenda DiCarlo,
96
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,196
who is the supervisor of this year's contest
97
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,783
and former Young American Princess, Brenda.
98
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,747
- The respiratory rate is approx
99
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,208
- Now, if you will follow me and the hen.
100
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,769
- Do you think the announcement
101
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,630
regarding toilets would help, Mr Nakas?
102
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,525
- I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you.
103
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,009
about Mr. French's phone call.
104
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,010
- It is okay, dear.
105
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,011
- This is all very new to me.
106
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,363
- Just being outside out of the house is something new for me.
107
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,387
- Here.
108
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:13,058
Brenda, you are so organized and everything.
109
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,059
How do you do it?
110
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,392
- I don't know.
111
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,829
I'm tired but, I keep going.
112
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,933
Someone has to do the job.
113
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,815
Children, you are now in "No Man's Land".
114
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,070
It is called that for obvious reasons.
Everyone enters.
115
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,203
You will spend a lot of time here
116
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,033
so get used to it and find your cage.
117
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,494
Now, your coop is run by your mother hen.
118
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,827
You will see three girls.
119
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,081
Janet, can you turn the board over?
120
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,833
On the board you will see three groups of colors.
121
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,336
Simi Valley.
I'm Maria Gonzales.
122
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,356
I forgot your name, but I saw your name in the newspaper.
123
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,673
Karen.
124
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,006
Well, we're roommates.
125
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,634
So, I came and greeted you.
126
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,968
- Pleased to meet you.
127
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,845
- I have to go sing.
See you later.
128
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,764
And I want to see all the other girls
129
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,849
found their mother hen.
130
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:58,103
OK, blue guys.
Anyone who is blue.
131
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,105
Okay.
Are you blue? Yes, right.
132
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,064
Of course, I remember you.
133
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,441
Alright, everything is blue here.
134
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,777
We're going to learn the opening song,
135
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,191
which is here on the board.
136
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,155
And there's no one to judge here, okay?
137
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,368
♪ Ready to start, sing your heart out
138
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,744
Robin Gibson, right?
139
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,538
Hi, I'm Doria.
We're roommates.
140
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,040
♪ Built by youth, you will see today
141
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,251
- I should have learned this song with them.
142
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,254
- Sure, I'll see you later, okay?
143
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,708
Good, that's not bad at all.
144
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,025
Let's just start there again.
145
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,135
Let's start from the top.
146
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,934
If you love the outdoors as much as I do,
147
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,145
Nada, my man is right here, that's the man.
148
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,772
If you're worried about your credit, forget it.
149
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,458
We're not worried about that, why should you be?
150
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,026
Hey, Brenda!
How are you?
151
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,039
With you in two wags of a sheep's tail.
152
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,273
Enter and park your car.
153
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,157
Tony, this beauty right here is holding 50 gallons of gas.
154
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,284
Now what does Uncle Sam tell us?
155
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,077
He said, "Don't stock up on gas."
156
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,163
We all agree with that, right?
157
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,665
But with all this crazy Arabs around here,
158
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,439
who knows what they will do next?
159
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,894
You have to admit it's a feeling of security knowing
160
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,755
you sleep on top of 50 gallons of gas.
161
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,340
Well, we'll have to think about that.
162
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,885
Think, that's what this game is about.
163
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,511
You have to think about it, Tony.
164
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,346
I'll give you one of my cards.
165
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,120
That's my home phone number there.
166
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,309
Contact me 365 days a year.
167
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:24,272
All of Big Bob Freelander's customers are also his friends.
168
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,067
How about that? A balloon for Mom.
169
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,651
think about it,
170
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,404
and I would say that you will arrive in early October, right?
171
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,990
OK, three of you think again.
172
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,324
Leonard, row 2.
173
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,387
- Sorry to keep you waiting, Brenda.
174
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,411
- It doesn't matter.
175
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,789
- Is that the app?
176
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,041
- Yes indeed. 33 this year.
177
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:46,795
Is it true? Six more than last year? Wow!
178
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,630
And we arrive in San Diego.
179
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,799
- You did a great job, Brenda.
180
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,132
- Thank You.
181
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,294
- Anything that looks real this year?
182
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,887
- Oh, you guys.
183
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,430
What do you mean we men?
184
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,204
You ladies are checking each other out
185
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,059
more than any man I've ever seen.
186
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,495
You are always the first
187
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,437
to sneak a look at the Playboy centerfold.
188
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,438
- That is not true.
189
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,732
- Is that a name tag?
190
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,318
- Do you like it?
191
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,612
- Do I like it.
192
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,324
Wow, gold this year, huh?
193
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,785
No, just yours.
194
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,080
The rest is just silver.
195
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:26,084
Brenda, thank you.
That's very good.
196
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,086
All right, I have a meeting with Jaycette.
197
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,963
So, goodbye.
198
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,016
See you tomorrow when all the action kicks off.
199
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,134
And don't do anything.
I won't do it.
200
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,467
Don't worry.
201
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,097
Say, Brenda.
Where is your husband hiding?
202
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,430
Andy? Hiding?
203
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:46,729
Well, I missed it the last few Jaycee lunches.
204
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,648
He had a cold.
205
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,860
You better start taking better care of it than that.
206
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,528
He was my first friend, you know.
207
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:54,862
Correct.
208
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,241
You stole it from me.
209
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:06,040
Hello, muffins.
How is my beloved?
210
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,169
No, darling, you can't go out.
211
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,837
I'm sorry, I'm late.
212
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,592
- I see you've had dinner.
213
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,428
- Yep. Now it's dinner for me.
214
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,516
Another night of sarcasm and self-pity.
215
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:48,624
- Brenda, I'm sorry.
216
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:49,875
- I'm tired.
217
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,504
Well, we're all tired.
218
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,359
You guys always do it to me.
219
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,362
Someone has fooled around with my thermostat again.
220
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:18,695
Little Bob?
221
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:21,698
Mother.!
222
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,544
(birds chirping)
223
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,384
Hey, Roberta, have you seen my proposal?
224
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,262
Not yet darling.
Do you have anything to do tonight?
225
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,057
It's time for the procession.
No rest for the weary.
226
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,402
I'll tell you what we're gonna do,
227
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,862
after this week of pageantry.
228
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,356
You and I will slip away
229
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,825
and make us a little romantic weekend.
230
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,326
- What about Little Bob?
231
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,288
- No, not this time.
Little Bob is out.
232
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,831
Where are we going?
233
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,377
I think we'll go to Disneyland.
234
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,465
- Yes, I have my father's application book.
235
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,799
- Who is the sexiest?
236
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,050
I can't say it.
237
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,178
The pictures were just faces, no bodies.
238
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,512
There's one from Simi Valley that looks pretty good.
239
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,683
But he sticks out where the picture ends.
240
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,935
So she has big breasts or she is fat.
241
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,396
Does he look like he's been fucked?
242
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,939
How should I know, Chuck?
243
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,775
They don't write down whether or not they are virgins.
244
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,485
Don't mess it up.
245
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,130
There's plenty of money in it for both of us.
246
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,531
Stop worrying, Chuck.
I will take care of my end.
247
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,585
Now, are you sure Freddy has a Polaroid?
248
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,118
- Little Bob!
249
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,495
- See you later, Chuck.
250
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:56,377
Little Bob, have you seen the app?
251
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:57,795
There he is.
252
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,839
Sorry, Dad, were you looking for this?
253
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,632
I just read some of them.
254
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,966
Is it true?
255
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,677
You know something, Dad?
256
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,471
I know I'm kind of putting down the contest
257
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,139
the last few years.
258
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,433
But after reading this application,
259
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,935
I can see why you want to help these girls.
260
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,229
They seemed very valuable.
261
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,607
That's right, son.
262
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,734
This is the best group
263
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,198
of the girls' high schools in this state.
264
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,866
You want to know something else?
265
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,952
One of the most interesting things about growing up:
266
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,789
One day, you find yourself becoming interested
267
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,208
on all kinds of new things.
268
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,378
You are the best.
269
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:40,337
- Can I take it now?
270
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,546
- Yes.
271
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,094
No rest for the weary this week.
272
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,514
"Father"?
273
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,640
- Yes.
274
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,768
Are there many fat girls in this contest?
275
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,269
No.
Usually not.
276
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,821
♪ We can see a bright tomorrow
277
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,282
♪ Built by the young men you see today
278
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,952
♪ We have faith, we have hope
279
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:14,622
♪ We can see brighter days
280
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,795
What are you doing?
281
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,298
I just saw this guy's shaving stuff.
282
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,952
Believe it or not, I've never been
283
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,261
in the bathroom the man used before.
284
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,388
Well, I haven't either.
Almost not.
285
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,723
I do not mean it.
286
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,560
I just mean that I never had a brother
287
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,103
or dad or whatever.
288
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,729
- I grew up only with my mother.
289
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,063
- Where is your father?
290
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,941
He died when I was two years old.
291
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,609
Wow, I'm sorry, Rob.
292
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,362
Don't worry about it.
293
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,048
I really think it makes other people
294
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,490
feel worse than I do.
295
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,618
I don't even remember him.
I'm only two years old.
296
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,872
You know what? This can help you in this contest.
297
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,622
Get to be the best high school top
298
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,083
without a father to help you.
299
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,170
Jesus, is that a terrible thing to say?
300
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,297
No, I don't think so.
301
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,215
I mean, do you really think
302
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,634
that things like not having a father,
303
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,595
and things like that help here?
304
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,513
Yes, all the important stuff here.
305
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,516
Your values, your personality, the jury conference.
306
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,518
God, I like this better
307
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,521
when they only judge your breasts and butt.
308
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,135
- Have you ever been in one of them?
309
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:22,899
- Yes.
310
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,512
- I won the Teenage Girls Election.
311
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,170
- I don't think I've heard of that one.
312
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,571
It's sponsored by a perverted old dermatologist
313
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:29,906
in the Yellow Area.
314
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,408
He rented a room at the Disneyland Hotel
315
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,368
got 16 girls in swimsuits
316
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,245
and she held her own beauty pageant.
317
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:37,579
You are kidding!
318
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,290
Well, aren't you angry?
319
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,627
No, I won $200 and had the wart removed.
320
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:50,176
I think the biggest help in my life is my mother.
321
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,345
Yes, my parents, really.
322
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,930
Maybe a conference of judges.
323
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,640
is the single most important test
324
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,643
of what an American Young Miss is really made of.
325
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,978
What I mean is valuable
326
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,148
and the fulfillment is simply helping others.
327
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,562
Sandra Kay, tell me what you think about Women's Lib.
328
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,278
Well, I think that's a bit ridiculous.
329
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,578
What I mean is, it's not that important.
330
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:22,333
Where is he? We're supposed to start training.
331
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,977
This is my first year as President.
332
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,586
The Jaycees are counting on me.
333
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,080
- What if he doesn't show up?
334
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,589
- Don't worry, he will be here.
335
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,384
I don't know why we have to go and hire this guy.
336
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,237
I don't know why we can't rent
337
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,344
the guy we had last year.
338
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,955
The homosexual is from San Francisco.
339
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,683
Now listen, I worked long and hard
340
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,434
to get Tommy French for this event.
341
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,019
It was a great coup.
342
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:44,897
He's never staged a
local pageant before.
343
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,031
- Doesn't look like he's
gonna stage this one.
344
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,149
- Don't worry.
345
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,657
Sandra Kay Mathic:
Miss Louisiana!
346
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,135
These scholarships
are made possible
347
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,536
by the optimistic support
348
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:03,124
of the pageant's national
sponsors: Clairol and Denny's.
349
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,961
The big show in Baton
Rouge is telecast
350
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,380
nationally, and for
the past four years
351
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:12,925
has been conceived and
directed by Mr. Tommy French.
352
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,419
Although Mr. French is famous
353
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,304
for his smooth
professional choreography
354
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,849
he impresses on each girl
that their youthful enthusiasm
355
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,768
is the main ingredient
of the big show.
356
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,982
We should never have hired
a guy that expensive.
357
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,815
Expensive people
are always late.
358
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,609
- Where the hell is he?
359
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,110
- Relax, I'm here.
360
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,132
Mr. French is the Hollywood
professional and choreographer
361
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,991
of many of your favorite
television programs.
362
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:40,411
We know each of the
girls has profited-
363
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,956
I look older in person, don't I?
364
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:49,211
Have any of you had
any dance experience?
365
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,880
- Does square dancing count?
366
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,798
- Not with me, dear.
367
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,678
Now, ladies, first
pick up the pompom.
368
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,140
One, two.
369
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,435
Ready?
370
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:05,769
One, two.
371
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,063
Sensational.
372
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:09,981
Tambourines.
373
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:13,777
One, two.
374
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,696
And one, two.
375
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,660
A real showstopper.
376
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,120
Bamboo poles.
377
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,164
I don't have a bamboo pole.
378
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,041
One, two, three, four.
379
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,709
Ready?
380
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,046
And one, two, three.
381
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,593
Very nice. Work on it.
382
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,306
Well, first I do Spring is
Here, and then I do Summer Sun,
383
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,280
then I do the first
half of Autumn Leaves,
384
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,644
and I finish with
Winter Wonderland.
385
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,772
I call it A Song
for All Seasons.
386
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,984
Cute. Now have you got an
arrangement for all this?
387
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,863
No, I just thought you'd
sort of follow along.
388
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:02,868
Hear that, boys? We just
sort of follow along.
389
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,745
Okay, ready, four and.
390
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,251
♪ Spring is here
391
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:14,547
♪ Why doesn't my
heart go dancing
392
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,678
What's the matter?
393
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,011
I'm sorry.
394
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,391
Well, I usually do
this to my own tape
395
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:30,187
and live music sounds a
lot different from a tape.
396
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:34,900
That's right, dear. We count
on that to make a living.
397
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,742
That one from Fountain
Valley looks pretty good.
398
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,994
I got a fountain she can
water her valley with.
399
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,871
- Let me see.
400
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:47,830
- You shouldn't be
allowed to use these
401
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,364
the way you screwed things up!
402
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,166
- I didn't.
403
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,659
It's not my fault my mom took
404
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,145
the Polaroid to her
Art Photography class!
405
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:54,503
You should've known.
406
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,606
This could be our last shot
at these girls, dickhead!
407
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:57,298
Dickhead?
408
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,717
Okay, no big damage done!
409
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,510
We can pull it off tomorrow.
410
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,155
You better not mess
up tomorrow, Freddy.
411
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,638
We already got $22 in orders.
412
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,015
That much, Little Bob?
413
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,893
You know that new kid, the fat
one, never suits up for gym?
414
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,061
He bought $8 worth himself.
415
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,733
Wow! Look at that
one from Bakersfield.
416
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,653
I got something she
could bake in her field.
417
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,613
I hate him.
418
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,911
Ah right, that'|| be another $1
419
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,830
for slandering a fellow officer.
420
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,084
You see, old Phil's just mad
because his auto repair shop
421
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,754
isn't doing as well
as my mortuary.
422
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:40,216
We sell more caskets
than he does gaskets.
423
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,137
Anyway, I'd like to introduce
our very special guest
424
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,931
from the Young
American Miss Pageant,
425
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,058
first of all, Mrs.
Brenda DiCarlo,
426
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,851
who is the pageant supervisor.
427
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:53,896
(audience applauding)
428
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,230
Thank you.
429
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,182
Brenda, of course, is the wife
430
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,903
of our fellow
Bear, Andy DiCarlo.
431
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,279
Stand up, Andy.
432
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,493
I think old Andy's
gonna get fined twice.
433
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:08,827
Once for not showing up,
434
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,996
and once for having
such a beautiful wife.
435
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,373
Where is he?
436
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,434
Let's give Brenda and all
the other pretty young girls
437
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,418
a growling Bears' welcome!
438
00:22:20,089 --> 00:22:22,174
Are you having a
good time up here?
439
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:23,801
- Pretty good.
440
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,134
- Very good.
441
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,302
Good.
442
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,973
I'm glad you
appreciate it so much.
443
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:31,851
I do. It's such an
incredible experience for me.
444
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,687
I mean, I've never done
anything like this in my life.
445
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,856
Santa Rosa is so beautiful.
446
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,984
I mean, I thought the
shopping mall in Anaheim
447
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:42,194
was great until I saw yours.
448
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:46,490
It's a credit to the vision
of your business community.
449
00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:49,785
(audience applauding)
450
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,288
Thank you.
451
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:56,165
Next.
452
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,004
- Hi, I'm Robin Gibson.
453
00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:02,673
- Speak up, dear.
454
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:07,803
Hi, I'm Robin Gibson. Antelope
Valley's Young American Miss.
455
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,390
Thank you for
inviting me to lunch.
456
00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:16,311
Next.
457
00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:22,443
I'm Maria Gonzales. Salinas'
Young American Miss.
458
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:27,072
And since you gentlemen have
been nice enough to feed us,
459
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:32,161
I would like to feed you with
this homemade guacamole dip.
460
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,748
It's a typical dish of
my native land, Mexico.
461
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,081
You like to try?
462
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,002
How about that?
463
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:43,088
(audience applauding)
464
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,841
I suppose Santa Rosa
465
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:49,178
means so much to me
as a Mexican-American
466
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:54,892
because Santa Rosa is
Spanish for "Saint Rose."
467
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:01,008
I knew when you
stopped showing up
468
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,225
at the Bears and the Optimist
469
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:04,401
that you must really
be down in the dumps.
470
00:24:04,735 --> 00:24:06,028
Yeah, I guess.
471
00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:10,240
Look, I want to go some place
where you can get a drink.
472
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:11,867
- How about a Major Weenie?
473
00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,201
- Oh, no!
474
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:14,369
A foot of fun.
475
00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:20,793
- Woof, woof, Your
order, please.
476
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,126
- Hiya, PUP-
477
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:25,047
Wanna fetch us two El Majors
478
00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:29,009
a couple orders of fries,
and two vanilla shakes.
479
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:34,974
No, make it make it one vanilla
shake and one black coffee.
480
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:35,975
- Will that be all?
481
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,394
- I think so, Major.
482
00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:41,939
Are you sure you don't
want a vanilla shake, Andy?
483
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,565
You'll be sorry.
484
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:46,110
You know, sometimes I
think it's this town
485
00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:48,112
that's getting to me.
486
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:50,739
I mean, I've lived here
all my life, right?
487
00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:54,118
Maybe I should go some place
completely new, a big city.
488
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:55,731
Andy, the grass
is always greener
489
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,871
on the other side of the hill.
490
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:00,791
Andy, you're crazy to think
about moving to a big city.
491
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,794
I had my own mortuary
in LA for eight years,
492
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,755
hell, the pace damn
near killed me!
493
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:13,011
You get caught on the
Hollywood freeway at 4:00 pm
494
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,180
with a loaded hearse,
and you're in trouble.
495
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,514
- The big one's for you.
496
00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,037
- I always knew you
were a big weenie.
497
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,619
What the holy hell
you doin here?
498
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:20,954
Haven't you just had
lunch with the girls?
499
00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:22,338
I'm getting lunch
for my embalmers.
500
00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:23,603
They don't like to go out.
501
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,457
Takes them too long
to wash their hands.
502
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,613
Andy, you stop all this
talk about leaving town,
503
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:28,360
do you hear me?
504
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:29,879
Come on, can we get out of here?
505
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:30,903
Andy!
506
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:34,783
Who's gonna pay
for all this stuff?
507
00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:36,837
That's another thing I
hate about this town.
508
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,179
Everybody's always
sticking his nose
509
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,872
in everybody else's business.
510
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,457
- I want a drink.
511
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,585
-All righty, we'll
go to my office.
512
00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:50,215
I guess it wouldn't hurt to
have one toddy for the body.
513
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:53,218
Actually, I feel
just the opposite.
514
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:55,928
Attaboy.
515
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:57,473
I like to know my neighbors.
516
00:25:57,806 --> 00:26:00,601
Especially in a
small town like this.
517
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,439
Don't you, really?
518
00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:08,108
I'm beginning to think
that's a crock of shit, too.
519
00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:10,861
Come on, Andy. You're
just having a bad day.
520
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:13,155
I mean, look at all the razzing
521
00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:15,157
we have at all those meetings.
522
00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:19,203
The teasing, all of the
fining, all that stuff.
523
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:21,246
- But that's all really
just fun, isn't it?
524
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:24,124
- Doesn't seem like
fun to me anymore.
525
00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:25,643
I never know what to say to you
526
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,753
when you say something
like that to me.
527
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:30,089
I know something
that will be fun.
528
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,299
This Friday night, huh?
529
00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:35,969
The cry of the Rooster.
530
00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:40,140
Come on, you actually
gonna sit there and tell me
531
00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,494
this coming Friday night at
the Exhausted Rooster Ceremony,
532
00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:45,062
that you're not gonna
have a good time?
533
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:48,857
Bullshit! That's the
stuff I'm talking about!
534
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:52,486
That a guy turns 35, and
the Jaycees make a big deal
535
00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:54,696
about tossing him out
because he's too old?
536
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:57,282
Listen to yourself.
What did you just say?
537
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:58,617
"A guy turns 35."
538
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,429
That's really what's
bugging you, isn't it?
539
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,613
That you're about to turn 35?
540
00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:03,871
Maybe.
541
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:09,962
Or maybe I don't see what's fun
542
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,422
about kissing a
dead chicken's ass.
543
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:15,509
That's 'cause you
haven't tried it.
544
00:27:15,843 --> 00:27:17,970
"Certainly, external
beauty is important
545
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,623
"but the National Committee
would like to remind all judges
546
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:23,475
"of that which Bacon had
in mind, when he said:
547
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:25,602
"That is the best
part of beauty,
548
00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:28,564
"which a picture cannot express.
549
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,275
"We're looking for
an inner beauty.
550
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:35,404
"A depth of personality,
a plain zest for living.
551
00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:38,198
"In short, select a girl
that you would be proud
552
00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:41,285
"to have as your own daughter."
553
00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:42,618
Any questions?
554
00:27:42,786 --> 00:27:44,830
- How long do we
have with each girl?
555
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:46,164
- 10 minutes.
556
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:48,685
Marie, could you
tell us why you think
557
00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:50,919
you'd like to go
into missionary work?
558
00:27:51,253 --> 00:27:52,796
In your own words.
559
00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:57,509
It's like if I can share my
culture with someone else
560
00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:59,386
that way I can
learn about theirs
561
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,638
and enrich my own
life as well as,
562
00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:04,266
hopefully, enriching theirs.
563
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,935
Plus, the idea of
helping one another.
564
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:09,188
Do you get an enjoyment
out of helping others?
565
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:10,521
Yes, I have.
566
00:28:10,814 --> 00:28:12,816
We have a handicapped
Olympics every year
567
00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:15,777
and we help them
get to their races
568
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:18,447
and their events on time.
569
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:21,408
And, their winning is just...
570
00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:23,994
It's the most fantastic
thing to experience.
571
00:28:24,328 --> 00:28:26,121
Not only themselves,
but yourself,
572
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:27,915
for just helping a little.
573
00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:30,167
Well, I'd like to be a nurse.
574
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:34,296
I think that would be
one of the best ways
575
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:37,424
that I could do things
for other people.
576
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:41,345
You see, I want to be a
veterinarian, or a nun
577
00:28:44,348 --> 00:28:46,600
because I like helping others.
578
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:48,454
Yeah, I think it
would be a lot of fun.
579
00:28:48,644 --> 00:28:50,103
I like helping people.
580
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:52,981
Robin, I noticed that
in your senior year
581
00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:55,609
you went to work part-time
at J.C. Penney's.
582
00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:58,904
And yet you still managed to
keep your 4.0 grade average.
583
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:00,489
Did you find that difficult,
584
00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:03,283
to work and still
get good grades?
585
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:04,617
Of course.
586
00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:13,001
I'll bet you found that
the experience of working
587
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,796
was an education in itself.
588
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:19,466
Yes, it was. I met a lot of
different kinds of people.
589
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:20,467
- And did you-
590
00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:22,177
- What would...
591
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:24,680
Go right ahead,
Father. It's all yours.
592
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:26,890
What would you do
if your best friend
593
00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:28,850
was unwed and pregnant?
594
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:31,936
Excuse me?
595
00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:39,444
Would you advise her to have
the baby or seek an abortion?
596
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,831
I thought a lot
about that last year
597
00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:53,959
when California was
thinking about voting
598
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:57,337
on whether to legalize
abortion or not.
599
00:29:58,755 --> 00:30:01,675
I read a lot about that, and
my mom and I talked about it.
600
00:30:02,009 --> 00:30:03,009
And?
601
00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:05,637
What did you decide?
602
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:12,769
I decided I was glad I
wasn't old enough to vote.
603
00:30:15,355 --> 00:30:17,899
That's a terrific
answer, Father.
604
00:30:19,985 --> 00:30:24,364
I see here that you've been
a flautist for nine years.
605
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:28,594
Boy, you must have been so
small when you started out that
606
00:30:28,618 --> 00:30:31,663
that was practically the only
instrument you could hold.
607
00:30:31,997 --> 00:30:35,250
I love the flute. I'm gonna
play it in the pageant.
608
00:30:35,584 --> 00:30:37,464
By the looks of all these
wonderful music awards
609
00:30:37,711 --> 00:30:39,171
that you've won
we're certainly in
610
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:41,548
for quite a treat, aren't we?
611
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:45,302
Why do you like to
play the flute, dear?
612
00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:46,762
In your own words.
613
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,307
Lots of reasons, I guess.
614
00:30:52,309 --> 00:30:54,353
Well, it sounds so pretty.
615
00:30:56,563 --> 00:31:00,609
And when I play it right,
it fills me up inside.
616
00:31:03,653 --> 00:31:06,323
I do guess I like
being in the spotlight,
617
00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,700
it's glamorous and exciting.
618
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:10,303
And you must be
pleased as punch,
619
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:12,287
making all those
other people happy.
620
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:13,914
Pardon me?
621
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:17,584
The other people who are
listening to you playing the flute.
622
00:31:17,918 --> 00:31:19,294
Nothing lightens
a person's spirit
623
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:21,463
or brightens their load
like a little music.
624
00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:22,837
- Isn't that right, Robin?
625
00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:24,216
- Oh, yes.
626
00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:28,553
I think my music is one of the
best ways I can help others.
627
00:31:35,352 --> 00:31:37,020
Jerry, you told me
Fort Worth was all set,
628
00:31:37,354 --> 00:31:40,148
and now they want
to lower the price.
629
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:42,351
I realize it's a summer show,
630
00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:45,570
but why should they
pay so much less?
631
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:46,905
Shit.
632
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:48,879
It's harder to stage
dances in the summer.
633
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,200
It's more sweat.
634
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,706
Tell them there's
absolutely no way
635
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,793
I'll take the job at that price.
636
00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:04,798
And if that doesn't work, then
fall on your knees and beg.
637
00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:07,491
I'll be back Sunday,
unless I decide
638
00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:10,429
to stay here for
the polling seminar.
639
00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:16,809
Oh, Well.
640
00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:25,610
Mr. French, we have a
show to do in two days.
641
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:26,944
You're 40 minutes late.
642
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:27,779
- Forgive me, Mr. Sheep.
643
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,281
- That's Shears.
644
00:32:31,575 --> 00:32:34,035
I realize that you and I
645
00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:37,164
have gotten off to
a rather shaky start
646
00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:39,017
but things don't have
to stay that way.
647
00:32:39,249 --> 00:32:40,417
What do you say?
648
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:43,920
Let's keep it shaky.
649
00:32:45,046 --> 00:32:46,548
Okay, girls.
650
00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:49,718
Oh, hell. It's 6 feet
too tall. I told you.
651
00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:51,051
Oh, no.
652
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,981
Take it from the faith
and hope stuff, right?
653
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:05,942
♪ Ready to start out,
singing our hearts out
654
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:09,571
♪ We'll see a bright tomorrow
655
00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:12,449
♪ Built by youth you see today
656
00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:14,993
♪ We have faith, we have hope
657
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:19,498
♪ We can see a brighter day
658
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,416
♪ We're here singing
659
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:22,750
And we're here to dance
660
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:23,918
Move!
661
00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:25,670
And everyone's here
with an equal chance
662
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:29,591
♪ To be crowned a Young American
663
00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:32,886
♪ Young American Miss
664
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,975
(upbeat music)
665
00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:59,496
And one, kick, three and four!
666
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:00,829
Hold it!
667
00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:05,709
- Another luncheon.
668
00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:07,075
- Are these the guys that roar?
669
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:09,339
No, these are the ones
with tassels on their hats.
670
00:34:09,589 --> 00:34:11,550
Folks, please, now
this is No Man's Land,
671
00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,803
and I'm telling
you, you can't get-
672
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,724
(upbeat music)
673
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:38,660
Where is he?
674
00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:39,995
We should have never let
675
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:41,768
the little asshole
Freddy in on this.
676
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:43,793
He better show! We now
have $36 worth of orders.
677
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,292
Jesus!
678
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:48,044
I got it all worked out.
$1.50 for back shot with butt.
679
00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:49,754
$2.50 for frontal shots.
680
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,548
And $5 if I can get a shot
681
00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:54,134
with two naked girls
touching each other.
682
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:55,510
Where's Freddy?
683
00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:00,640
- What took you so long?
684
00:35:00,974 --> 00:35:02,726
- I got here, didn't I?
685
00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:06,062
Complete with camera and
my own personal zoom lens.
686
00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:07,856
You're weird, Freddy.
687
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:10,774
- Where's the film?
688
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:11,942
- Isn't it in there?
689
00:35:12,152 --> 00:35:13,152
- No.
690
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,880
- But in the ads, the
film is always in there.
691
00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:18,450
You asshole! I'm
gonna kick your butt!
692
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:19,242
Come on!
693
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:20,243
- You're dead!
694
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:21,244
- We got no time to argue.
695
00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:22,778
You tore my shirt, you faggot!
696
00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:25,248
So we missed the girls
putting on their clothes.
697
00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:26,902
We'll get some
film and catch them
698
00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:30,754
when they come back from lunch
taking off their clothes.
699
00:35:31,087 --> 00:35:33,840
Yeah. Taking off their clothes.
700
00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:36,134
Let's go. Boy, I can't
wait to see these pictures.
701
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:37,260
You want to see something
702
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:40,680
that will develop even
faster than the film?
703
00:35:41,014 --> 00:35:42,014
Pick up my bike.
704
00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:43,932
Eat it!
705
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:53,734
- Hello, boys.
706
00:35:53,943 --> 00:35:55,028
- Hello, Mr. Greener.
707
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:56,682
Have you got film
for this camera?
708
00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:00,033
We've been to two other
stores, and they're both out.
709
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:01,660
You're in luck.
710
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:05,372
Guaranteed shipment coming in
first thing in the morning.
711
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:07,165
- Santa Rosa sucks.
712
00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:08,499
- Wait a minute, boys.
713
00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:10,835
If there's something
special happening,
714
00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,046
I'll lend you a
camera with film.
715
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:14,380
- You will?
716
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:15,547
- Sure.
717
00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:17,926
Would this be a Polaroid camera?
718
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:20,762
Sorry, those babies
are never for loan.
719
00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:22,889
So you'd have to send
the film to a lab?
720
00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:25,308
Sure. But, don't worry.
721
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:28,019
I'll check every print myself.
722
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:30,105
No, thanks, Mr.
Greener, we'll be back
723
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:33,274
in the morning for
the Polaroid film.
724
00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:38,613
♪ Even Jake, the plumber
725
00:36:38,947 --> 00:36:41,491
♪ He's a man I adore
726
00:36:41,825 --> 00:36:46,579
♪ Had the nerve to tell me
he's been married before
727
00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:51,668
♪ Everyone knows that I'm
just Secondhand Rose
728
00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:54,838
♪ From Second Avenue
729
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:58,549
Oy vey!
730
00:37:02,011 --> 00:37:03,011
Next.
731
00:37:12,439 --> 00:37:13,439
Well, hello.
732
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:19,571
Are you here to sing
or to make butter?
733
00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:22,866
They told me to come in costume.
734
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,909
No, dear, that's tomorrow.
735
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:30,248
I don't like that music man.
736
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:33,501
He's mean to the
Young American Misses.
737
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,435
It's a depressing
thing to see one person
738
00:37:35,628 --> 00:37:37,922
being mean to another person.
739
00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:41,801
I need a drink.
740
00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:01,780
For those who think young.
741
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:09,913
What is it, Mr. Nakas?
742
00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,050
It's starting.
743
00:38:23,092 --> 00:38:25,386
I told them it would
start, and it started.
744
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:26,720
- What?
745
00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:28,264
- The pipes are backed up.
746
00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:33,061
I can hear them moaning and
grumbling and starting to choke.
747
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:35,271
I can't hear nothing.
748
00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:38,608
I got an acute sense
of hearing pipes.
749
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:43,153
There they go.
750
00:38:44,364 --> 00:38:47,325
They're fed up with
swallowing Kotex.
751
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,869
Who wouldn't be?
752
00:38:50,203 --> 00:38:52,455
I don't really think of it
as a competition that much
753
00:38:52,789 --> 00:38:54,874
because we all want to win,
754
00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:58,020
but we're not really
competing with each other.
755
00:38:58,044 --> 00:38:59,044
We're more friends.
756
00:38:59,212 --> 00:39:03,091
I guess I'll just be
happy that I was here.
757
00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:06,010
I think it was a good
opportunity for me
758
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,054
and I've met a lot of people.
759
00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:09,556
Next to my mom and dad,
760
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:12,642
I guess I'd have to
say my accordion.
761
00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:15,895
The Young American Miss from
Salinas, Maria Gonzales.
762
00:39:16,229 --> 00:39:17,355
- Yes, ma'am.
763
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:18,690
- You're next.
764
00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:21,609
What is that, dear?
765
00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:25,029
I thought the judges
would be hungry
766
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,447
after helping us so long,
767
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:31,035
so I made them a specialty
of my native land.
768
00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:32,871
It's guacamole dip.
769
00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:34,914
Like you did for the Bears.
770
00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:36,248
Si.
771
00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:42,589
God, how can you stand
being her roommate?
772
00:39:42,922 --> 00:39:43,965
It's all right.
773
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:45,734
She spends most of her
time in the kitchen
774
00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:47,260
making guacamole dip.
775
00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:54,350
Abraham Lincoln and Pancho
Villa symbolize my own theory.
776
00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:05,987
Hello, this is
Ernestine, the operator,
777
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:07,614
calling for Miss Pearl Bailey.
778
00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:10,033
Well, I'm sorry if she's tired,
779
00:40:10,366 --> 00:40:12,410
but could you please put her on?
780
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:13,912
It's very important.
781
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,965
Their parents made them
beautiful, not them.
782
00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:17,247
I got it.
783
00:40:19,208 --> 00:40:21,544
Boys get money and scholarships
784
00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:25,548
for making a lot of
touchdowns, right?
785
00:40:25,882 --> 00:40:28,760
Why shouldn't a girl get one
for being cute and charming?
786
00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:31,429
Yeah, but maybe
boys shouldn't be
787
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,515
getting money for
making touchdowns.
788
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:41,105
Hello, this is
Ernestine, the operator.
789
00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:43,107
Who am I speaking to?
790
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,237
This is Edith
Bunker, the dingbat.
791
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:51,532
And one, two, three, four.
792
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:55,078
Coming along. Okay,
now watch this.
793
00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:56,496
And kick and bend.
794
00:40:57,872 --> 00:41:01,000
No, if you kick and
bend at the same time,
795
00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:05,421
you're going to
knock yourself out.
796
00:41:05,755 --> 00:41:08,424
All right, once again.
Here we go, and...
797
00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:12,011
♪ Spring is here
798
00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:16,808
♪ Why doesn't the
breeze delight me
799
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:20,728
♪ Stars appear
800
00:41:21,062 --> 00:41:24,941
♪ Why doesn't the
night invite me
801
00:41:25,274 --> 00:41:28,653
♪ Maybe it's because
nobody loves me
802
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,239
I went to Juilliard for this?
803
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:33,825
We all went to Juilliard.
804
00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:37,245
♪ Spring is here, I hear
805
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:49,257
♪ Summer in the sunshine
806
00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:54,679
♪ Days that never end
807
00:41:55,555 --> 00:41:58,141
♪ When the spotlight
808
00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:02,895
DiCarlo Trophies.
809
00:42:03,229 --> 00:42:04,229
Golfer awards?
810
00:42:05,106 --> 00:42:06,566
Worst golfer awards?
811
00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:10,278
Hey, Andy. You got the trophies?
812
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:11,988
- Yeah, I'm working on them.
813
00:42:12,321 --> 00:42:13,990
- Working on them?
814
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:16,451
What the hell, Andy, the
first show's tonight.
815
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:18,595
Your wife told me to come
over and pick them up.
816
00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:20,496
You tell my wife to go...
817
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:26,294
It's a little drunken golfer
leaning on his putter.
818
00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:30,048
Alan, tell my wife
I'm working on them.
819
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:32,383
- Ramon will bring them
over this afternoon.
820
00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:35,094
- Okay, you're the boss.
821
00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:36,763
No, she's the boss.
822
00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:40,058
She just doesn't know
how to make trophies.
823
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:42,060
Now, at this point,
I take my sparklers
824
00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:44,270
and I light them with
my Torch of Freedom.
825
00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:45,897
But you don't have to worry-
826
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:47,750
But let's not put too much
powder in these things.
827
00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:50,693
If we're gonna have a fire,
save it for the last night.
828
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,529
I know how to
handle my equipment.
829
00:42:53,863 --> 00:42:55,281
Now, I want red and green gels
830
00:42:55,615 --> 00:42:57,241
at both the spots at my entrance
831
00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:59,118
and I want the
senior klieg at 50%
832
00:42:59,452 --> 00:43:00,953
when I do my high
tosses because-
833
00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,287
- Yeah, yeah.
834
00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:04,165
- Por favor, you're on.
835
00:43:08,961 --> 00:43:10,230
Helga, when you go out
there, be sure to...
836
00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:12,423
Will you please shut the door?
837
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:15,175
Amigos!
838
00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:20,098
I would like to tell you the
tale of two great nations.
839
00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:23,392
One, my humble place of birth.
840
00:43:23,726 --> 00:43:25,645
And one, my new homeland!
841
00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:29,315
Applause, applause, applause.
842
00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:32,860
To tell you this tale,
I will need the help
843
00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:34,403
of two old friends.
844
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,782
These are my friends.
845
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:39,783
Cue tape.
846
00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:42,995
One is named Chico
847
00:43:43,329 --> 00:43:45,998
and the other's named Joe.
848
00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,584
Yes, ladies and
gentlemen, you guessed it.
849
00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:51,295
This is a tale about, of course,
850
00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:54,257
Mexico, and these United States!
851
00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:57,509
Gross.
852
00:43:58,803 --> 00:44:02,181
In the beginning, these two
great neighboring giants
853
00:44:02,515 --> 00:44:04,517
hardly knew each other existed.
854
00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:08,146
But soon, they
discovered each other
855
00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:11,899
and their respect for
each other grew higher.
856
00:44:13,359 --> 00:44:17,238
Last night she gave our
host parents a pinata.
857
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:19,448
- I'm gonna get her.
858
00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:21,117
- Do you want me to help?
859
00:44:21,450 --> 00:44:22,450
Yeah.
860
00:44:23,369 --> 00:44:27,165
We'll do it as soon as
we're sure we've lost.
861
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:31,669
Forever by these two
wonderful, marvelous countries.
862
00:44:47,268 --> 00:44:48,561
Excuse me, dear.
863
00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:51,355
I'm going to interrupt
you just for a moment.
864
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:52,773
Girls, I'd like you to meet
865
00:44:53,107 --> 00:44:57,778
California's reigning Young
American Miss, Jo Ann Marshall.
866
00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:04,243
And these are some of the
former winners and has-beens.
867
00:45:05,494 --> 00:45:06,513
Jo Ann and the girls
are going to be
868
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:07,556
rehearsing with you today.
869
00:45:07,580 --> 00:45:09,373
Girls, here's our emcee,
870
00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:13,419
the real star of the
show, Ted Farley.
871
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,668
Hi, girls, I'm sorry to hear
about the little problem
872
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:19,008
you had with the toilets
873
00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:22,261
but as they say in
France, "No wee-wee."
874
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:33,606
- Keep the motor running.
875
00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:35,399
- I got my motor running.
876
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:36,733
Jeez.
877
00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:56,170
- Where do you
think you're going?
878
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:57,755
- I'm looking for my dad.
879
00:45:58,089 --> 00:45:59,882
Your dad's not around here.
880
00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,676
Unless he's a teenage girl.
881
00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:03,678
- No, my dad is
Robert Freelander.
882
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:05,011
- Big Bob?
883
00:46:05,054 --> 00:46:07,139
Yeah, you must be Little Bob.
884
00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:08,140
- Yeah, Little Bob.
885
00:46:08,474 --> 00:46:09,474
- Yeah, right.
886
00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:10,998
Say, what can I do
for you back here?
887
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:12,496
Well, I was supposed
to meet my father
888
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,021
and I've looked all over.
889
00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:15,648
Now, you know Big Bob.
890
00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:17,525
Everywhere at once.
891
00:46:17,858 --> 00:46:19,443
Tell you what now, nobody's
892
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,217
supposed to be back
here on this path
893
00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:23,781
since you're Little Bob, I
think it'll be all right.
894
00:46:24,115 --> 00:46:25,115
Yeah, thanks.
895
00:46:25,366 --> 00:46:26,646
Tell you what,
why don't you look
896
00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:28,202
down there by those telephones?
897
00:46:28,536 --> 00:46:30,204
I think you'll find
him there. Okay?
898
00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:32,378
- All right, we'll see
you later, little buddy.
899
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,623
- Goodbye.
900
00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:45,720
♪ Who's that comin'
down the street
901
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:49,181
♪ Who's that lookin' so petite
902
00:46:49,515 --> 00:46:54,312
♪ Who's that comin'
down to meet me
903
00:46:55,688 --> 00:46:58,274
♪ Who's that you know who I mean
904
00:46:58,607 --> 00:47:01,569
♪ Sweetest who you've ever seen
905
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:05,781
♪ I can tell her miles
and miles from here
906
00:47:06,115 --> 00:47:08,576
♪ Oh yes I can
907
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,871
♪ Yes, sir that's my baby
908
00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:15,541
♪ No, sir I don't mean maybe
909
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:20,629
♪ Yes, sir that's my baby now
910
00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:26,177
♪ Yes, sir, we've decided
911
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:29,597
♪ No, man we just can't hide it
912
00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:33,476
♪ Yes, sir that's my baby now
913
00:47:35,728 --> 00:47:38,064
(upbeat music)
914
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:51,243
♪ Oh yes, I'm gonna say my honey
915
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:54,705
♪ Yes, sir that's my baby
916
00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:58,459
♪ No, sir I don't mean maybe
917
00:47:58,793 --> 00:48:02,338
♪ Yes, sir, that's my baby now
918
00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:05,590
(girls screaming)
919
00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:08,636
Oh. my God! Somebody's
at the window!
920
00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:12,765
♪ Who's that coming
down the street
921
00:48:13,099 --> 00:48:16,560
♪ Who's that lookin' so petite
922
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:20,731
♪ Who's that comin'
down to meet me
923
00:48:21,065 --> 00:48:22,858
I was looking for my dad.
924
00:48:23,192 --> 00:48:24,568
Big Bob. Good old Big Bob.
925
00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:26,529
I tripped and fell in there.
926
00:48:26,862 --> 00:48:28,531
I wasn't taking any
pictures of the girls.
927
00:48:28,864 --> 00:48:31,575
I swear on my mother's life!
928
00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:33,452
♪ Yes, sir that's my baby
929
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:35,454
♪ No, sir I don't mean maybe
930
00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:39,917
♪ Yes, sir that's my baby now
931
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:41,502
♪ Yes, man, we've decided
932
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:43,838
♪ No, man, we just can't hide it
933
00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:45,881
♪ Yes, man, you're invited now
934
00:48:46,215 --> 00:48:47,341
♪ (frantic music)
935
00:49:46,775 --> 00:49:49,445
(upbeat music)
936
00:50:01,957 --> 00:50:03,542
13,14,15,16,17.
937
00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:06,212
Sorry, it's the lights.
938
00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:07,713
♪ Me ol" bam-boo
939
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:09,441
♪ You better never bother
with me ol" bam-boo
940
00:50:09,465 --> 00:50:10,942
♪ You can have me hat
or me 'number-shoot
941
00:50:10,966 --> 00:50:15,721
♪ But you better never
bother with me ol" Dam-boo
942
00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:24,355
(upbeat music)
943
00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:37,618
She's fine!
944
00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:40,162
Easy, easy. Hold her carefully.
945
00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:42,849
Stand back, kids.
Give her some air!
946
00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:44,033
You're all right. She's fine.
947
00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:45,417
- Now give her some air.
948
00:50:45,751 --> 00:50:47,031
- She's fine.
Everything is fine.
949
00:50:47,127 --> 00:50:48,127
She'll be all right.
950
00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:49,295
- Who is that?
951
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:52,424
- Maureen somebody.
952
00:50:52,758 --> 00:50:53,758
What happened?
953
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:58,305
One of the girls fainted.
She'll be all right.
954
00:50:58,639 --> 00:50:59,639
Did she trip?
955
00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,201
Trip over a nail or something
we could be sued for?
956
00:51:01,225 --> 00:51:04,770
No, and I'll tell her
how concerned you were.
957
00:51:05,104 --> 00:51:06,824
- Jesus Christ, she
scared me half to death.
958
00:51:06,897 --> 00:51:08,399
- I almost fainted.
959
00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:11,193
Well, it is one
less competition.
960
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:15,781
God, I'm really
sorry I said that.
961
00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:17,616
- I have an awful
confession to make.
962
00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:18,950
- Yeah?
963
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,286
You know when Maureen fainted?
964
00:51:20,619 --> 00:51:22,997
The same thing crossed my mind.
965
00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:24,999
- It's getting weird.
966
00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:26,332
"Judy!
967
00:51:37,011 --> 00:51:39,847
Has anybody seen
my butter churn?
968
00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:46,353
Now listen. Just listen.
969
00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:49,315
In about two minutes,
you'll go out there
970
00:51:49,648 --> 00:51:51,775
and be professional dancers.
971
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:54,945
Your job is to make
the audience happy.
972
00:51:55,279 --> 00:51:56,639
I know that a lot
of you are scared
973
00:51:56,822 --> 00:51:58,022
and don't think you can do it.
974
00:51:58,324 --> 00:52:00,124
But I've been watching
you all very carefully,
975
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,202
and I know that you can.
976
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:04,622
Now I'd like you to think
about a 17-year-old kid
977
00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:06,915
who came to me when
I was staging dances
978
00:52:07,249 --> 00:52:09,335
for the Mike Curb Congregation.
979
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,045
She hadn't had a
bit of experience
980
00:52:11,378 --> 00:52:15,549
but she wanted to try so bad
that we just had to let her.
981
00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:17,551
That was four years ago
982
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:22,640
and now that girl is one of
the Mike Curb lead dancers.
983
00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:24,975
Now, that may not seem
like much to you ladies
984
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:27,936
but that girl has a wooden foot.
985
00:52:31,023 --> 00:52:34,943
Now go out there and dance
with your two good feet.
986
00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:40,783
That was really a
beautiful story.
987
00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:44,453
Listen, I have a syndicated
radio show heard in four states.
988
00:52:44,787 --> 00:52:47,706
I'm always looking for
inspirational youth stories.
989
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,160
- Do you mind if I use that?
990
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:50,459
- Be my guest.
991
00:52:50,793 --> 00:52:52,503
But it's total bullshit.
992
00:52:55,089 --> 00:52:56,131
- Hello!
993
00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:57,132
- Hello!
994
00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:58,759
Who says hello?
995
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,093
Young America!
996
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:01,928
- Are you all here?
997
00:53:02,221 --> 00:53:04,056
- Yes, we're all here!
998
00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:06,892
(upbeat music)
999
00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,857
♪ Ready to start out,
singing our hearts out
1000
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:16,694
♪ We can see a bright tomorrow
1001
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,613
♪ Built by youth you see today
1002
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,700
♪ We have faith, we have hope
1003
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,744
♪ We can see a brighter day
1004
00:53:26,078 --> 00:53:27,329
♪ We're here to sing
1005
00:53:27,663 --> 00:53:28,872
♪ We're here to dance
1006
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:31,875
♪ Everyone's here
with an equal chance
1007
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:35,713
♪ To be crowned a Young American
1008
00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:40,801
♪ Young American Miss
1009
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,072
♪ Pick your favorite
and sing along
1010
00:53:44,096 --> 00:53:45,376
♪ Tap your feet
and sing our song
1011
00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:48,267
♪ We can see a bright tomorrow
1012
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,145
♪ Built by youth you see today
1013
00:53:51,478 --> 00:53:56,275
♪ We have faith, we have hope
1014
00:53:58,152 --> 00:54:01,739
♪ We can see a brighter day
1015
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:08,494
Take it away!
1016
00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:14,626
(audience applauding)
1017
00:54:22,509 --> 00:54:26,263
Hi, I'm Jo Ann Marshall,
California's Young American Miss.
1018
00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:27,677
And I'd like to welcome you
1019
00:54:27,973 --> 00:54:29,641
to tonight's first
preliminary show
1020
00:54:29,975 --> 00:54:31,727
and invite you back
for tomorrow's show.
1021
00:54:32,060 --> 00:54:35,230
And the really big
show, Saturday night.
1022
00:54:38,484 --> 00:54:40,861
(upbeat music)
1023
00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:02,758
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!
1024
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:04,343
♪ Me ol" bam-boo
1025
00:55:04,676 --> 00:55:06,476
♪ You better never bother
with me ol" ham-boo
1026
00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:08,153
♪ You can have me hat
or me 'number-shoot
1027
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:10,849
♪ But you better never
bother with me ol" Dam-boo
1028
00:55:11,183 --> 00:55:13,894
(audience applauding)
1029
00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:19,483
You know something?
1030
00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:21,610
You did a hell of a job.
1031
00:55:23,111 --> 00:55:24,591
Took a bunch of nice
high-school kids,
1032
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:27,658
and turned them into
Vegas showgirls.
1033
00:55:30,202 --> 00:55:32,746
On each of these preliminary
nights, we feature and judge
1034
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,999
the creative talents of the
girls from one color group.
1035
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,001
Tonight, settle back,
relax, and enjoy
1036
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:40,379
the creative talents
of the peach group.
1037
00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:43,048
This could mean
30 points to them.
1038
00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:45,300
Doria has written and
will deliver an essay
1039
00:55:45,634 --> 00:55:47,427
based on personal experience.
1040
00:55:47,761 --> 00:55:52,307
Here she is, Anaheim's Young
American Miss, Doria Houston.
1041
00:55:54,768 --> 00:55:55,768
Beauty, yes.
1042
00:55:57,187 --> 00:56:01,400
Curly hair, floppy hat,
glittery dresses, they were in,
1043
00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:06,905
so I have them all.
1044
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:11,535
But one day, on my mad dash
to the cosmetics counter
1045
00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:14,663
I stumbled by chance
into a library.
1046
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:24,006
"To thine own self be true."
1047
00:56:25,257 --> 00:56:27,175
At last I had found a beauty aid
1048
00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:29,803
that didn't come in a bottle:
1049
00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:31,929
Simplicity.
1050
00:56:33,849 --> 00:56:37,185
I learned that one
single solid gold strand
1051
00:56:38,812 --> 00:56:43,108
could be more beautiful
than all my costume jewelry.
1052
00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:36,119
Off came the silly shoes,
the hat, all that glittered.
1053
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:40,123
Soon with shiny nonsense
my floor was littered.
1054
00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:43,043
If you wanna be a real cutie,
1055
00:57:43,377 --> 00:57:45,587
always strive for inner beauty.
1056
00:57:50,550 --> 00:57:54,513
'Consider the lilies of
the field, how they grow.
1057
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:58,141
They work not, they toil not.
1058
00:58:01,228 --> 00:58:05,941
Yet I say unto you that even
Solomon in all his glory
1059
00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:08,735
was not so beautiful as these."
1060
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:14,366
(audience applauding)
1061
00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:18,285
Thank you.
1062
00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:20,539
And now, a double treat.
1063
00:58:20,872 --> 00:58:23,959
Healdsburg's Young American
Miss, Bobbi Erickson
1064
00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:27,379
will play the ever popular
and thrilling Ebb Tide
1065
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:29,089
and simultaneously she will
1066
00:58:29,423 --> 00:58:32,592
at the same time
exhibit her paintings.
1067
00:58:32,926 --> 00:58:35,178
A feast for both eyes and ears.
1068
00:58:37,723 --> 00:58:40,142
(gentle music)
1069
00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:05,167
(upbeat music)
1070
00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:24,644
♪ Delta Dawn, what's
that flower you have on
1071
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:29,733
♪ Could it be a faded
rose from days gone by
1072
00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:34,780
And did I hear you say he
was meeting you here today
1073
00:59:35,113 --> 00:59:39,451
♪ To take you to his
mansion in the sky
1074
00:59:56,510 --> 01:00:01,389
♪ You were meant for me
1075
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:07,479
♪ I was meant for you
1076
01:00:08,897 --> 01:00:10,899
♪ Nature patterned you
1077
01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:13,276
And when she was done
1078
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:16,947
♪ You were all the sweet things
1079
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:19,950
♪ Rolled up in one
1080
01:00:21,493 --> 01:00:23,870
(gentle music)
1081
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,190
Rotting maggots of death
1082
01:00:52,524 --> 01:00:55,193
crawling out of
the skull of war.
1083
01:00:56,987 --> 01:01:00,740
Vomit and blood run freely
over the battlefield.
1084
01:01:03,618 --> 01:01:06,872
(audience applauding)
1085
01:01:11,459 --> 01:01:13,059
Even in the Young
American Miss's concern
1086
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:14,713
of her own personal appearance
1087
01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:16,326
and the way she conducts herself
1088
01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:18,842
gives to others the feeling
that she cares for them.
1089
01:01:19,176 --> 01:01:20,302
And she does.
1090
01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:22,488
We share with her this
concern for the individual
1091
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:27,017
as she participates now in
the Gown and Grace Division.
1092
01:02:04,262 --> 01:02:06,306
- Where are you going?
1093
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:07,307
- Oh, Mr. French.
1094
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:08,308
Quit bawling, Robin.
1095
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:09,722
You just had a lucky break.
1096
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:10,851
Now they'll notice you.
1097
01:02:10,936 --> 01:02:13,104
So go out there, and use it.
1098
01:02:16,524 --> 01:02:19,819
Hi. I'm Helga Kleinsmidth,
Vacaville's Young American Miss
1099
01:02:20,153 --> 01:02:22,405
and I think it's fun
to have pillow fights
1100
01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,700
on Sunday morning before
church with my folks.
1101
01:02:26,034 --> 01:02:28,995
(audience applauding)
1102
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:33,667
Buenas noches.
1103
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:37,337
I am Maria Gonzales and I think
it is fun to live in a land
1104
01:02:37,671 --> 01:02:40,048
of equal opportunity
for all its citizens
1105
01:02:40,382 --> 01:02:43,134
regardless of race,
creed, or color.
1106
01:02:44,511 --> 01:02:47,347
(audience applauding)
1107
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:55,397
Hi, I'm Robin Gibson, Antelope
Valley's Young American Miss
1108
01:02:55,730 --> 01:02:59,818
and I think it's embarrassing
to have your umbrella break.
1109
01:03:00,151 --> 01:03:02,529
(audience applauding)
1110
01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:04,030
They learn fast.
1111
01:03:09,995 --> 01:03:14,457
Our fourth judge is a former
Young American Miss from 1966
1112
01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:16,126
Miss Gloria Randall.
1113
01:03:21,756 --> 01:03:26,386
Didn't I tell you, folks, the
girls get prettier every year?
1114
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:28,471
And again this year,
holding the envelopes
1115
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,223
with the names of
tonight's winners
1116
01:03:30,557 --> 01:03:33,935
our Dean of judges and a
winner in his own right,
1117
01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:35,562
Big Bob Freelander.
1118
01:03:35,895 --> 01:03:36,895
Big Bob, hey!
1119
01:03:40,692 --> 01:03:42,027
Welcome, folks!
1120
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,960
I know you came to
see a whale of a show,
1121
01:03:44,279 --> 01:03:46,698
and a whale of a show it is.
1122
01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:48,783
How does Santa Rosa
feel about that?
1123
01:03:49,117 --> 01:03:53,788
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
1124
01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:55,623
But you know, folks
1125
01:03:55,957 --> 01:04:00,253
to these talented and
lovely high-school girls
1126
01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,922
from all over this
great state of ours,
1127
01:04:03,256 --> 01:04:05,800
this is a lot more
than just another show.
1128
01:04:06,134 --> 01:04:08,762
Tonight, for them,
is the big one.
1129
01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:11,598
Of course, this is just
a preliminary night.
1130
01:04:11,931 --> 01:04:13,891
Tickets are still on sale
for the next two nights-
1131
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:17,479
Right, three nights in all.
Four winners each night.
1132
01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:18,980
Lots of winners.
1133
01:04:22,734 --> 01:04:24,694
♪ Well east coast girls are hip
1134
01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:29,783
♪ I really dig those
styles they wear
1135
01:04:31,159 --> 01:04:33,495
And southern girls
with the way they talk
1136
01:04:33,828 --> 01:04:38,541
♪ They knock me out out
when I'm down there
1137
01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:41,461
♪ The midwest farmer's daughters
1138
01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:46,383
♪ Really make you feel all right
1139
01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:50,011
And the northern girls
with the way they kiss
1140
01:04:50,345 --> 01:04:55,100
♪ They keep their
boyfriends warm at night
1141
01:04:55,725 --> 01:04:57,936
(upbeat music)
1142
01:04:58,269 --> 01:05:02,399
♪ I wish they all could
be California Girls
1143
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:28,383
Doria, you know the
judges were dumb, anyway.
1144
01:05:28,716 --> 01:05:31,219
You were much better
than that girl that won.
1145
01:05:31,553 --> 01:05:34,472
You don't have to cheer
me up anymore, Robin.
1146
01:05:34,806 --> 01:05:38,226
What the hell, now that I
know I'm not winning anything.
1147
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:39,560
I can smoke.
1148
01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:46,025
I thought we weren't supposed
to smoke around the girls.
1149
01:05:46,359 --> 01:05:47,735
That's what the committee said.
1150
01:05:48,069 --> 01:05:49,779
If she can smoke, I can smoke.
1151
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:52,313
They told us a lot of girls
didn't win the preliminaries
1152
01:05:52,574 --> 01:05:53,908
they went on to win the contest.
1153
01:05:54,242 --> 01:05:55,702
I mean, talent's
only part of it.
1154
01:05:56,035 --> 01:05:57,495
Forget it, Robin.
1155
01:05:57,829 --> 01:05:59,497
Talent was my ace in the hole.
1156
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:00,498
If they don't like me
taking off my clothes,
1157
01:06:00,832 --> 01:06:02,500
they're gonna hate my grades.
1158
01:06:02,834 --> 01:06:05,462
You shouldn't be so sure
you're not gonna win.
1159
01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:07,547
I don't mind it.
1160
01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:12,594
I did at first, now it's
kind of a relief, you know.
1161
01:06:12,927 --> 01:06:16,347
Besides, now I can pass all
my little tricks on to you.
1162
01:06:16,681 --> 01:06:17,681
Tricks?
1163
01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:19,125
Yeah, I guess I
should have before,
1164
01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:20,727
but we were in competition.
1165
01:06:21,060 --> 01:06:22,645
What kind of tricks?
1166
01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:27,442
Little things I
know that you don't.
1167
01:06:27,775 --> 01:06:28,860
Like what?
1168
01:06:29,194 --> 01:06:31,279
Like tonight, for instance.
1169
01:06:32,697 --> 01:06:35,200
You didn't jump up and down
enough when Miss Woodland won.
1170
01:06:35,533 --> 01:06:38,453
And you didn't even cry
when you won yourself.
1171
01:06:38,786 --> 01:06:39,996
Is that bad?
1172
01:06:40,330 --> 01:06:44,667
It sure is. Beauty contest
judges like their emotions big.
1173
01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,586
And you don't smile enough.
1174
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:49,005
My God, I've smiled so
much my gums are raw.
1175
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:52,634
Put some Vaseline on your teeth.
1176
01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:54,327
It helps your lips
glide over them.
1177
01:06:54,469 --> 01:06:55,136
- You're kidding me.
1178
01:06:55,470 --> 01:06:56,679
No. All the girls do it.
1179
01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:59,599
And Maria Gonzales puts enough
on to grease a flagpole.
1180
01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:00,558
"No!
1181
01:07:00,892 --> 01:07:01,559
- Yes.
1182
01:07:01,893 --> 01:07:03,520
Get some pantyhose.
1183
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:07,148
Bare legs are kind of
splotchy under the spotlights.
1184
01:07:07,482 --> 01:07:09,234
- Doria, I'm not
gonna do all that.
1185
01:07:09,567 --> 01:07:11,402
- You're crazy not to.
1186
01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:13,456
You have a real chance
of winning the money.
1187
01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:14,488
- Get off it.
1188
01:07:14,739 --> 01:07:15,739
- Robin, you do.
1189
01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,665
Look, you've already won
Vim and Vigor, right?
1190
01:07:17,825 --> 01:07:20,245
You have great grades
and you play the flute,
1191
01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:21,578
which is a classy talent.
1192
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:24,332
If you'd just keep
smiling, you can win.
1193
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:25,906
And it wouldn't hurt to mention
1194
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,003
once in a while that
you have no father.
1195
01:07:29,337 --> 01:07:31,798
Was that a terrible
thing to say?
1196
01:07:32,757 --> 01:07:33,757
No.
1197
01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:36,070
It's just that they
keep telling us
1198
01:07:36,094 --> 01:07:38,721
this thing isn't a competition.
1199
01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:40,265
It's a competition.
1200
01:07:45,270 --> 01:07:47,897
I still don't understand
how you could do this to me.
1201
01:07:48,231 --> 01:07:49,983
Dad, I wasn't doing
anything to you.
1202
01:07:50,316 --> 01:07:53,319
You hurt the pageant, hurt me.
1203
01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:54,853
Seven years without a scandal,
1204
01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:57,156
and now my own son causes one.
1205
01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:59,534
- What am I supposed
to say to people?
1206
01:07:59,867 --> 01:08:00,952
- Tell them I'm adopted.
1207
01:08:01,286 --> 01:08:03,126
Robert Freelander, Jr.,
you have a sassy mouth.
1208
01:08:03,288 --> 01:08:05,623
You should be a little
humble after what you did.
1209
01:08:05,957 --> 01:08:07,834
Now wipe that off.
1210
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:09,927
I don't see why I have
to see a psychiatrist.
1211
01:08:10,044 --> 01:08:12,297
Do you want to go to jail?
That's the big alternative.
1212
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:13,298
Come on, we'll go to jail.
1213
01:08:13,631 --> 01:08:14,751
- Do you want to go to jail?
1214
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,008
- No.
1215
01:08:16,884 --> 01:08:18,219
- And you're gonna
go in here now?
1216
01:08:18,553 --> 01:08:19,553
- Yes.
1217
01:08:19,804 --> 01:08:20,864
Take your hands
out of your pocket.
1218
01:08:20,888 --> 01:08:24,267
You're very lucky
you're my son, you know.
1219
01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:30,940
If this doctor thinks I'm crazy,
wait till he meets Freddy.
1220
01:08:31,274 --> 01:08:33,901
Dr. Kelly. Code Blue, five east.
1221
01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:46,246
Here it is.
1222
01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:51,418
- Mrs. Chambers-
1223
01:08:51,586 --> 01:08:53,838
- It's my fault. I feel guilty.
1224
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:56,215
Hi, Doctor.
1225
01:08:56,549 --> 01:08:58,189
Your appointment will
be in a few moments.
1226
01:08:58,426 --> 01:09:00,011
Would you mind, please?
1227
01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:29,749
I must admit I'm
really not too sold
1228
01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:32,502
on this psychiatry stuff myself.
1229
01:09:32,835 --> 01:09:36,714
Seems like an awful lot
of self-pity in it to me.
1230
01:09:39,926 --> 01:09:41,636
You may come in now.
1231
01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:46,098
- Please have a chair.
1232
01:09:46,224 --> 01:09:47,224
- Where's Mrs. Chambers?
1233
01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:48,266
She left.
1234
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:51,938
Oh, two entrances.
1235
01:09:54,357 --> 01:09:56,442
Make yourself comfortable.
1236
01:09:59,862 --> 01:10:02,365
Now, you're Robert Freelander.
1237
01:10:02,699 --> 01:10:04,534
No, we're both
Robert Freelander.
1238
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:06,202
Big Bob. Little Bob.
1239
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:10,707
How long have you called
your son Little Bob?
1240
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,418
Why, ever since he was little.
1241
01:10:24,470 --> 01:10:26,055
Actually, I'd hoped
to meet both parents
1242
01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:29,058
at the initial consultation.
1243
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:31,769
Mrs. Freelander is
ill. She's got the flu.
1244
01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:34,856
She got it the minute
I got in trouble.
1245
01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:36,858
Does your mother get sick often?
1246
01:10:37,191 --> 01:10:38,831
Doctor, we're not here
to discuss my wife.
1247
01:10:38,860 --> 01:10:41,112
Your wife is this boy's mother.
1248
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:42,726
In order to discuss
his problems-
1249
01:10:42,864 --> 01:10:44,104
What are you guys always trying
1250
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,909
to pin everything on
a guy's mother for?
1251
01:10:48,911 --> 01:10:51,956
Mr. Freelander, are
you angry with me?
1252
01:10:54,709 --> 01:10:56,669
No, I'm not angry at you.
1253
01:10:59,630 --> 01:11:02,341
Of course I'm not angry at you.
1254
01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:04,927
I'm just trying to help Little.
1255
01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:11,851
You and I are both here
trying to help my son.
1256
01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:26,449
We could begin the consultations
alone with the boy.
1257
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:30,411
And then you and your
wife could join us later.
1258
01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:39,337
No, I'd like to see Little
Bob through this thing myself.
1259
01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:41,172
It'd be okay, Dad.
1260
01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:49,305
It is pageant week.
1261
01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:51,766
Unbelievable amounts
of work down there.
1262
01:11:52,099 --> 01:11:53,601
No rest for the weary.
1263
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:56,353
I understand.
1264
01:11:57,939 --> 01:12:02,360
Well, you run on, and we'll see
you in a couple of sessions.
1265
01:12:03,110 --> 01:12:04,110
That'd be just super.
1266
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:05,320
How about you, son?
1267
01:12:05,613 --> 01:12:06,113
You gonna be able to get
to school on your own,
1268
01:12:06,447 --> 01:12:07,824
are you then?
1269
01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:10,159
- I do it every day.
1270
01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:11,869
- Right.
1271
01:12:12,203 --> 01:12:13,871
Independent little guy.
1272
01:12:16,374 --> 01:12:17,750
Nice to meet you.
1273
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:20,545
Son, you pay attention
to this man now.
1274
01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:21,963
He is a doctor.
1275
01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:35,643
Hi, Blanche. How about some
coffee and a glazed doughnut?
1276
01:12:35,977 --> 01:12:39,146
And don't charge me
for the hole, Blanche.
1277
01:12:40,398 --> 01:12:43,025
They told me at the
shop that you'd be here.
1278
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:44,679
- Having a second
breakfast there?
1279
01:12:44,902 --> 01:12:45,902
- First.
1280
01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:48,298
I just wanted to make
sure you were coming
1281
01:12:48,322 --> 01:12:52,118
to the Exhausted Rooster
Ceremony tonight.
1282
01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:53,536
I don't think so, Bob.
1283
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:54,870
Come on, Andy.
1284
01:12:55,162 --> 01:12:56,306
The guys are really
counting on you.
1285
01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:58,958
Look, I told you
I just don't feel.
1286
01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:01,669
Thank you, my dear.
Quick as ever.
1287
01:13:05,464 --> 01:13:06,984
Look, I told you I
just don't feel like
1288
01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:08,843
kissing a dead chicken's ass.
1289
01:13:09,176 --> 01:13:12,138
Come on, Andy. It's
a snap. Like that.
1290
01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,474
Besides, I'm an Exalted
Exhausted Rooster.
1291
01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:19,020
I'll be standing right next
to you with my sheet on.
1292
01:13:19,353 --> 01:13:20,688
There's nothing to it.
1293
01:13:21,022 --> 01:13:22,249
You're looking at
a man who's seen
1294
01:13:22,273 --> 01:13:25,443
as many chickens' asses
as another chicken.
1295
01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:28,696
How about a bib?
1296
01:13:30,114 --> 01:13:32,658
Besides, I shouldn't have to
remind an old guzzler like you
1297
01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:36,746
of the amounts of old
boozzola that'll be there.
1298
01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:41,876
I'm getting a reputation
for being a drunk, aren't I?
1299
01:13:42,209 --> 01:13:43,419
- No, you certainly are not.
1300
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:44,420
- It's true.
1301
01:13:44,754 --> 01:13:45,421
- No, it's not true.
1302
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:46,755
- It's true.
1303
01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:53,304
First I was drinking a little,
then I was drinking a lot.
1304
01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:57,016
Damn, it sure sneaks up on you.
1305
01:13:57,350 --> 01:13:59,310
I just sort of slid into it.
1306
01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:03,397
That's one thing I'm
awful good at. Sliding.
1307
01:14:03,731 --> 01:14:06,108
I'm having problems with Brenda.
1308
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:09,195
Sexual problems.
1309
01:14:10,154 --> 01:14:12,490
No, thank you, dear. We're fine.
1310
01:14:12,823 --> 01:14:14,325
Just fine, thank you.
1311
01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:18,359
You're not having any problems.
1312
01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:19,621
She's frigid.
1313
01:14:22,208 --> 01:14:25,294
That's why I started drinking.
1314
01:14:25,628 --> 01:14:27,254
She says it's my fault.
1315
01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:35,388
She says my drinking
turned her off.
1316
01:14:35,721 --> 01:14:36,801
I've been drinking so much,
1317
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:38,408
I don't know what
the truth is anymore.
1318
01:14:38,432 --> 01:14:41,268
Then it doesn't matter one
whole hell of a lot, does it?
1319
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,896
You're gonna have to
start pulling yourself
1320
01:14:44,230 --> 01:14:46,065
together and quit
moping around, here.
1321
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:47,759
Seriously, you got
to get out there
1322
01:14:47,942 --> 01:14:49,777
and start having some fun.
1323
01:14:50,111 --> 01:14:51,112
You can get headaches
1324
01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:52,464
sitting around here
trying to figure out
1325
01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:55,700
which came first: the
chicken or the egg.
1326
01:14:57,868 --> 01:14:59,495
Speaking of chickens,
1327
01:15:01,122 --> 01:15:03,416
I know a place where we
can have, this very night,
1328
01:15:03,749 --> 01:15:04,750
some real fun.
1329
01:15:09,380 --> 01:15:12,174
All right, I'll go
to the ceremony.
1330
01:15:14,260 --> 01:15:15,260
Swell.
1331
01:15:16,220 --> 01:15:18,305
You sure are one
hell of a salesman.
1332
01:15:18,639 --> 01:15:19,639
I better be.
1333
01:15:24,687 --> 01:15:27,398
I heard about Little Bob. I
really am sorry about that.
1334
01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:29,066
Those things happen.
1335
01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:32,045
We'll have Little Bob
straightened out in no time
1336
01:15:32,069 --> 01:15:34,071
and right back on
the right track.
1337
01:15:34,405 --> 01:15:36,490
Doesn't anything
ever get you down?
1338
01:15:36,824 --> 01:15:40,036
Yeah, I get my apple
cart upset sometimes.
1339
01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:41,787
I just learned a long time ago
1340
01:15:42,121 --> 01:15:45,666
to accept a little less
from life, that's all.
1341
01:15:50,087 --> 01:15:53,841
Want to know who taught me
this great lesson in life?
1342
01:15:54,175 --> 01:15:55,426
Elizabeth Taylor.
1343
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:56,760
What?
1344
01:15:57,928 --> 01:15:59,555
I never bothered to
tell you the story
1345
01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:02,099
because I don't believe
in negative stories
1346
01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:06,771
but one time I actually had
a date with old Liz herself.
1347
01:16:08,189 --> 01:16:09,189
You're kidding.
1348
01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:12,890
Do you remember when I went off
1349
01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:15,988
to junior college
in Los Angeles?
1350
01:16:16,322 --> 01:16:18,824
I had a class with a guy
that was Liz Taylor's cousin.
1351
01:16:19,158 --> 01:16:20,910
He fixed me up with her.
1352
01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:22,661
- What was she like?
1353
01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:24,747
- I never met her.
1354
01:16:25,081 --> 01:16:26,082
- You just said-
1355
01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:28,334
- No, I just said that
I had a date with her.
1356
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:31,087
I never said that she kept it.
1357
01:16:33,964 --> 01:16:36,592
You should've seen all
the preparations I made.
1358
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:39,011
I went out and got the best
flowers that I could find
1359
01:16:39,345 --> 01:16:41,180
and a great table
at the world-famous
1360
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:43,474
Cocoanut Grove restaurant.
1361
01:16:45,184 --> 01:16:47,937
And then she never showed up.
1362
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:49,710
That was the weekend
that she ran off
1363
01:16:49,814 --> 01:16:51,774
and married the hotel guy.
1364
01:16:52,900 --> 01:16:54,276
I'm sorry.
1365
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,445
You don't have to be sorry.
1366
01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:58,364
Just that now I'm
married to Roberta,
1367
01:16:58,697 --> 01:17:00,282
and I'm happy about it.
1368
01:17:03,160 --> 01:17:07,498
Even though she is a little
less than Elizabeth Taylor.
1369
01:17:13,129 --> 01:17:16,048
God, Elizabeth
Taylor was beautiful.
1370
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:20,636
And that girl had a wooden foot.
1371
01:17:22,888 --> 01:17:26,517
And now, as we begin the Creative
Talent Division on this,
1372
01:17:26,851 --> 01:17:28,060
the Final Preliminary night
1373
01:17:28,394 --> 01:17:30,688
before the Final Big
Show, tomorrow night
1374
01:17:31,021 --> 01:17:33,983
when, at last, our new
California Young American Miss
1375
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:37,278
will finally be chosen
right here on this stage
1376
01:17:37,611 --> 01:17:41,115
in a burst of tears
and laughter and glory.
1377
01:17:43,909 --> 01:17:46,787
But first, I'd just
like to say a word
1378
01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:51,250
about how these girls have
affected me, personally.
1379
01:17:52,543 --> 01:17:54,020
Not Ted Farley, the
smooth entertainer
1380
01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:57,173
that you see here before
you, but Ted Farley, the man.
1381
01:17:57,506 --> 01:17:58,966
- Maria, could you
hook this, please?
1382
01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:00,300
- I'm on in a second.
1383
01:18:00,593 --> 01:18:01,593
- It's the top one.
1384
01:18:01,844 --> 01:18:03,137
- Here, let me do it for you.
1385
01:18:03,470 --> 01:18:04,889
Not only to me, but to everybody
1386
01:18:05,222 --> 01:18:06,491
who has participated
in the pageant.
1387
01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:08,309
Even Ray Brandy and all
the guys in the band.
1388
01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:09,768
The lack of competitiveness
1389
01:18:10,102 --> 01:18:12,146
and the genuine
desire of each girl.
1390
01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:14,279
I do this. It's fine, I
started it. It's okay.
1391
01:18:14,356 --> 01:18:15,500
Just another example
of what makes
1392
01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:18,152
America the place I'm
proud to be a part of.
1393
01:18:18,485 --> 01:18:19,713
Aba daba daba daba
daba daba daba
1394
01:18:19,737 --> 01:18:21,197
♪ Said the monkey to the chimp
1395
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:22,990
♪ All night long,
they'd chatter away
1396
01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:25,075
♪ All day long they're
happy and gay
1397
01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:28,954
♪ Swingin' and singin'
in a honky-tooky way
1398
01:18:29,288 --> 01:18:31,498
(bright music)
1399
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:44,220
And for that very
special wool jacket
1400
01:18:44,553 --> 01:18:46,013
there's still good
old tissue paper
1401
01:18:46,347 --> 01:18:48,599
to help keep out nasty creases.
1402
01:18:50,267 --> 01:18:52,311
And one final tip, girls.
1403
01:18:52,645 --> 01:18:54,897
(upbeat music)
1404
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:05,282
(accordion music)
1405
01:19:14,541 --> 01:19:16,377
And so these great nations
1406
01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:19,255
have gone speeding
through history.
1407
01:19:19,588 --> 01:19:23,425
Brown hands and white hands,
reaching out to the skies
1408
01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:25,344
in heavenly harmony!
1409
01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:29,473
(explosions booming)
1410
01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:56,458
(upbeat music)
1411
01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:59,336
♪ Come on baby let
the good times roll
1412
01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:02,798
♪ Come on baby let
me thrill your soul
1413
01:20:03,132 --> 01:20:06,010
♪ Come on baby let
the good times roll
1414
01:20:06,343 --> 01:20:09,638
♪ Roll all night long
1415
01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:12,850
♪ Come on baby
1416
01:20:13,183 --> 01:20:16,437
♪ This is something
I just can't miss
1417
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:19,606
♪ Come on baby let
the good times roll
1418
01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:21,025
♪ Roll all night long
1419
01:20:21,358 --> 01:20:23,277
Hey, Big Bob! Good to see you.
1420
01:20:23,610 --> 01:20:24,987
How are you?
1421
01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:26,441
Help me with my sheet, here.
1422
01:20:26,739 --> 01:20:28,819
Where's somebody go to wet
their whistle around here?
1423
01:20:28,866 --> 01:20:30,784
-A|, son of a gun.
1424
01:20:31,118 --> 01:20:32,238
- Let's get a beer. Come on.
1425
01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:34,163
Hey, Pancho! How are you?
1426
01:20:40,294 --> 01:20:41,896
Look, isn't that the
saddest looking bunch
1427
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,200
of Exhausted Rooster Candidates?
1428
01:20:43,380 --> 01:20:44,399
Haven't I told you every year
1429
01:20:44,423 --> 01:20:46,300
they get more exhausted looking?
1430
01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,802
- Here, have a beer.
1431
01:20:49,136 --> 01:20:51,472
- How the hell are you, Big Bob?
1432
01:20:54,725 --> 01:20:55,725
Peel that.
1433
01:21:00,731 --> 01:21:01,971
You missed out on a lot of fun.
1434
01:21:02,066 --> 01:21:03,066
Where've you been?
1435
01:21:03,317 --> 01:21:03,901
- Had a little trouble
with the pageant.
1436
01:21:04,234 --> 01:21:06,904
- Good. I'll drink to that.
1437
01:21:07,237 --> 01:21:09,656
That's not funny. Some
poor girl's act was ruined.
1438
01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:11,270
Our first Mexican-American entry
1439
01:21:11,450 --> 01:21:12,743
claims her act was sabotaged.
1440
01:21:13,077 --> 01:21:14,161
- I hardly believe that.
1441
01:21:14,495 --> 01:21:15,829
- I hope that's not true.
1442
01:21:16,163 --> 01:21:17,803
Our club has spent a
lot of time and money
1443
01:21:17,831 --> 01:21:21,543
trying to help these young
people become responsible adults.
1444
01:21:21,877 --> 01:21:23,545
I'll barbecue your ass!
1445
01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:31,387
Didn't I tell you
it was gonna be fun?
1446
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,240
Didn't I tell you,
as our friends south
1447
01:21:33,472 --> 01:21:36,558
of the border would
say, "Dos pelotas!"
1448
01:21:59,957 --> 01:22:02,418
(men shouting)
1449
01:22:38,620 --> 01:22:41,582
(bottles ringing)
1450
01:23:31,089 --> 01:23:33,967
(people chattering)
1451
01:23:38,931 --> 01:23:39,931
I love it!
1452
01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:49,023
Come on.
1453
01:23:51,318 --> 01:23:52,318
- What's wrong?
1454
01:23:52,528 --> 01:23:54,488
- Come on, Andy, be a man.
1455
01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:06,541
Andy!
1456
01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:27,728
Andy!
1457
01:24:30,649 --> 01:24:31,960
If Wilson can't get
to the bottom of it,
1458
01:24:31,984 --> 01:24:33,777
I'll get into it
myself tomorrow.
1459
01:24:34,111 --> 01:24:35,111
I've got to hang up now.
1460
01:24:35,362 --> 01:24:36,962
Yeah, I'll talk to
you tomorrow. Bye-bye.
1461
01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:39,741
Andy, I just had
the rug shampooed.
1462
01:24:44,746 --> 01:24:45,789
Piss on the rug.
1463
01:24:49,668 --> 01:24:50,669
You're drunk.
1464
01:25:01,763 --> 01:25:03,765
What's the matter?
1465
01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:05,851
I think I'm going crazy.
1466
01:25:09,605 --> 01:25:12,065
Now, that's a
stupid thing to say.
1467
01:25:12,399 --> 01:25:13,942
I was in the park.
1468
01:25:14,276 --> 01:25:16,653
Grown men horsing
around in sheets.
1469
01:25:16,987 --> 01:25:18,739
Big Bob grinning at
me through his hood.
1470
01:25:19,072 --> 01:25:20,532
Either they're
crazy or I'm crazy!
1471
01:25:20,866 --> 01:25:22,760
Did Big Bob tell you what
happened at the pageant-
1472
01:25:22,784 --> 01:25:25,120
- I don't give a damn
about that pageant!
1473
01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:26,454
- Go ahead!
1474
01:25:28,081 --> 01:25:30,834
I'm used to you making fun
of all the things I do.
1475
01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:32,728
But I'm going to go
right on doing them!
1476
01:25:32,919 --> 01:25:34,439
You have to do
something with your time
1477
01:25:34,546 --> 01:25:37,507
when you're married
to the town drunk.
1478
01:25:43,138 --> 01:25:45,223
(sobbing)
1479
01:25:56,568 --> 01:25:59,946
You won't let me
make up, will you?
1480
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:01,880
Brenda, that's what
we're supposed to do,
1481
01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:03,157
comfort each other.
1482
01:26:03,283 --> 01:26:04,368
- I'm tired!
1483
01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:07,663
- Well, I'm tired
of your being tired!
1484
01:26:08,830 --> 01:26:09,873
You're crazy!
1485
01:26:10,957 --> 01:26:12,668
I already said that.
1486
01:26:16,963 --> 01:26:18,173
Oh, poor thing.
1487
01:26:24,888 --> 01:26:25,888
Andy!
1488
01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:39,151
Andy?
1489
01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,127
Where are you?
1490
01:26:56,461 --> 01:27:00,048
If you're doing anything
to mess up my clean rug.
1491
01:27:08,515 --> 01:27:10,267
Don't worry, I'm
standing on the paper.
1492
01:27:10,600 --> 01:27:11,601
-Andy, you can't!
1493
01:27:11,935 --> 01:27:13,937
- Quit telling me what to do!
1494
01:27:14,896 --> 01:27:16,189
That's terrific.
1495
01:27:18,817 --> 01:27:20,736
If you've got a problem,
don't try to solve it
1496
01:27:21,069 --> 01:27:23,447
just take the coward's way out.
1497
01:27:23,780 --> 01:27:24,780
Coward!
1498
01:27:30,871 --> 01:27:32,164
You're right, Brenda.
1499
01:27:32,497 --> 01:27:34,958
This is the coward's way out.
1500
01:27:35,292 --> 01:27:37,919
I should attack my real problem.
1501
01:27:38,253 --> 01:27:40,213
(gun bangs)
1502
01:27:44,718 --> 01:27:47,471
Hey, I'm property of the
United States Navy, man.
1503
01:27:47,804 --> 01:27:49,222
I don't belong here.
1504
01:27:49,556 --> 01:27:50,932
I want to see a psychiatrist.
1505
01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:52,392
- Let me out!
1506
01:27:52,726 --> 01:27:54,352
- What do we have here?
1507
01:27:56,646 --> 01:27:57,939
Hey, let me out!
1508
01:28:15,165 --> 01:28:16,792
I guess you heard Brenda's okay.
1509
01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:20,086
Just a little nick
in the shoulder.
1510
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:26,176
Sounds of the big house.
1511
01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:29,596
It's a little scary.
1512
01:28:29,930 --> 01:28:30,930
How are you?
1513
01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:35,268
I'm pretty good. I'm
pretty damn good.
1514
01:28:37,354 --> 01:28:41,942
Guess you're relieved Brenda's
not pressing charges, though.
1515
01:28:42,275 --> 01:28:43,985
I knew she wouldn't.
1516
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:46,905
This way she can keep
her precious pageant
1517
01:28:47,239 --> 01:28:48,239
out of the newspaper.
1518
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:49,866
Andy, now wait a second.
1519
01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:52,619
I'm your best friend, right?
1520
01:28:52,953 --> 01:28:54,033
First of all, I don't think
1521
01:28:54,246 --> 01:28:55,681
you're being fair
to the little lady.
1522
01:28:55,705 --> 01:28:57,249
Seriously, she's
been an enormous help
1523
01:28:57,582 --> 01:29:00,627
to me throughout
this whole thing.
1524
01:29:00,961 --> 01:29:03,171
You know the biggest
thing you could do for me?
1525
01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:05,025
- Don't always be
knocking the pageant.
1526
01:29:05,215 --> 01:29:06,550
- Screw the pageant!
1527
01:29:10,178 --> 01:29:13,098
What am I supposed
to say to that?
1528
01:29:14,099 --> 01:29:15,099
I'm sorry.
1529
01:29:18,186 --> 01:29:19,521
- You going to work today?
1530
01:29:19,855 --> 01:29:20,855
- Hell, no!
1531
01:29:23,483 --> 01:29:25,652
What are you gonna do?
1532
01:29:25,986 --> 01:29:28,029
You'll be out of here soon.
1533
01:29:30,240 --> 01:29:31,867
I don't know exactly.
1534
01:29:33,118 --> 01:29:34,828
- I'll probably
leave Santa Rosa-
1535
01:29:35,161 --> 01:29:36,161
- Oh, no.
1536
01:29:37,706 --> 01:29:41,042
You got to stay in
Santa Rosa, Andy.
1537
01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:43,563
You can lick your problems,
right here in your own backyard.
1538
01:29:43,587 --> 01:29:44,587
Who wants to?
1539
01:29:45,922 --> 01:29:47,173
Andy, it's very simple.
1540
01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:49,107
All it takes is a drop
more perseverance,
1541
01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:52,596
a drop more optimism,
and a drop more energy.
1542
01:29:52,929 --> 01:29:54,097
Simple.
1543
01:29:54,431 --> 01:29:55,891
Hey, wait a minute.
1544
01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:02,105
I've heard that before.
1545
01:30:02,439 --> 01:30:03,439
- Heard what before?
1546
01:30:03,481 --> 01:30:05,567
- That drip-drop crap.
1547
01:30:05,901 --> 01:30:07,569
Brenda read that to me.
1548
01:30:09,195 --> 01:30:11,907
That's right out of the
Young American Miss program.
1549
01:30:12,240 --> 01:30:14,117
A good philosophy
is good philosophy.
1550
01:30:14,451 --> 01:30:16,828
And I don't happen to be a
snob about where I get it from.
1551
01:30:17,162 --> 01:30:18,322
I can tell you another thing,
1552
01:30:18,371 --> 01:30:19,691
as your best friend
talking to you
1553
01:30:19,873 --> 01:30:23,001
quit wallowing around in all
this self-indulgent self-pity
1554
01:30:23,335 --> 01:30:26,546
and get out there and
start helping others.
1555
01:30:29,633 --> 01:30:32,969
Bob, I've finally
figured out what you are.
1556
01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:38,016
You know what you are?
1557
01:30:38,350 --> 01:30:40,727
A goddamn Young American Miss.
1558
01:30:48,234 --> 01:30:50,362
Okay, we got the
list down to 10.
1559
01:30:50,695 --> 01:30:51,988
- All excellent choices.
1560
01:30:52,322 --> 01:30:53,573
- All wonderful girls.
1561
01:30:53,907 --> 01:30:56,201
- They sure are.
Now, let's drop five.
1562
01:30:56,534 --> 01:30:57,534
- Right.
1563
01:30:57,786 --> 01:30:58,828
We could drop her.
1564
01:30:59,162 --> 01:31:00,997
You really hate jelly
jars, don't you, Father?
1565
01:31:01,331 --> 01:31:02,874
- Not as a container for jelly.
1566
01:31:03,208 --> 01:31:04,368
- This isn't getting us home.
1567
01:31:04,501 --> 01:31:06,127
Okay, you're right.
1568
01:31:06,461 --> 01:31:08,254
I think we've all lost
our way a little here.
1569
01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:10,215
Let's go back to basics.
1570
01:31:10,548 --> 01:31:12,258
It's all right here
in the judges' manual.
1571
01:31:12,592 --> 01:31:14,112
Let's remind ourselves
of the qualities
1572
01:31:14,177 --> 01:31:15,971
we are asked to
find in the winner.
1573
01:31:16,304 --> 01:31:18,515
A Young American Miss
must be cheerful,
1574
01:31:18,848 --> 01:31:23,645
perseverant, sincere, show a
genuine concern for others.
1575
01:31:24,854 --> 01:31:27,232
Right. And those aren't
bad things to be.
1576
01:31:28,858 --> 01:31:29,858
Are they?
1577
01:31:31,111 --> 01:31:33,279
Look, the deal was
$2,000. I want my money.
1578
01:31:33,613 --> 01:31:35,373
You'll get your money
as soon as you take out
1579
01:31:35,448 --> 01:31:36,616
that ramp you put in first.
1580
01:31:36,950 --> 01:31:39,119
God damn it, I told you
I can't do that now!
1581
01:31:39,452 --> 01:31:41,532
Mr. French, I expect you to
be reasonable about this.
1582
01:31:41,788 --> 01:31:42,788
You are a professional.
1583
01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:44,916
The Jaycees never really
planned on that ramp.
1584
01:31:45,250 --> 01:31:46,751
But you approved it.
1585
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:48,765
We didn't realize it
was going to eliminate
1586
01:31:48,878 --> 01:31:51,047
so many seats from
our Golden Circle.
1587
01:31:51,381 --> 01:31:52,424
What Golden Circle?
1588
01:31:52,757 --> 01:31:54,634
The golden chairs
that go right here,
1589
01:31:54,968 --> 01:31:57,012
where your ramp is now.
1590
01:31:57,345 --> 01:31:59,848
We always put them in
on the final night.
1591
01:32:00,181 --> 01:32:01,181
And as it is now,
1592
01:32:01,433 --> 01:32:02,743
they're already all
sold out for $10 a head.
1593
01:32:02,767 --> 01:32:04,087
Now, if you need
the ramp in here,
1594
01:32:04,310 --> 01:32:07,480
it means that we're
out 50 chairs and $500.
1595
01:32:07,814 --> 01:32:09,054
I sympathize with your problem,
1596
01:32:09,149 --> 01:32:10,376
but you should've
told me sooner.
1597
01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:12,736
There's nothing I
can do about it now.
1598
01:32:13,069 --> 01:32:15,572
Yes, there is. You
can take out the ramp.
1599
01:32:15,905 --> 01:32:16,990
If I take that ramp out now
1600
01:32:17,323 --> 01:32:18,742
I will have to
completely restage
1601
01:32:19,075 --> 01:32:21,494
all the numbers
in one afternoon.
1602
01:32:21,828 --> 01:32:23,246
Is that so hard?
1603
01:32:23,580 --> 01:32:25,457
These girls are
not Ginger Rogers.
1604
01:32:25,790 --> 01:32:27,959
They dance more like Roy Rogers.
1605
01:32:28,293 --> 01:32:30,479
I'd hoped you thought a little
more of our girls than that.
1606
01:32:30,503 --> 01:32:32,464
Don't give me that
sanctimonious shit!
1607
01:32:32,797 --> 01:32:35,175
You're the one that doesn't
give a goddamn about the girls.
1608
01:32:35,508 --> 01:32:36,569
If I take that ramp out now,
1609
01:32:36,593 --> 01:32:38,636
they'll fall all
over themselves.
1610
01:32:38,970 --> 01:32:41,097
The finance committee did
come up with another idea
1611
01:32:41,431 --> 01:32:44,476
but I don't think
you're gonna like it.
1612
01:32:45,435 --> 01:32:46,435
Try me.
1613
01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:50,065
How would you feel
about picking up the tab
1614
01:32:50,398 --> 01:32:53,902
for the amount we lose because
of your ramp being there?
1615
01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:57,739
It means we would deduct
$500 from your check.
1616
01:32:59,574 --> 01:33:01,260
How would you feel about
having the whole pageant
1617
01:33:01,284 --> 01:33:04,204
shoved up your ass,
bamboo poles and all?
1618
01:33:04,537 --> 01:33:05,537
Now see here, Mr. French,
1619
01:33:05,747 --> 01:33:07,415
I'm trying to be
reasonable about this.
1620
01:33:07,749 --> 01:33:10,627
Our Jaycee chapter
is almost bankrupt
1621
01:33:10,960 --> 01:33:12,921
because of this meat show!
1622
01:33:14,214 --> 01:33:15,934
If we don't break even,
we'll have to cancel
1623
01:33:16,049 --> 01:33:18,093
the Rodeo for the Retarded.
1624
01:33:19,886 --> 01:33:23,056
Surely $500 can't mean that much
1625
01:33:23,389 --> 01:33:25,934
to a Hollywood professional.
1626
01:33:26,267 --> 01:33:28,228
And one, two, three, four.
1627
01:33:29,604 --> 01:33:33,024
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, turn!
1628
01:33:33,358 --> 01:33:34,776
One, two, three, four
1629
01:33:36,945 --> 01:33:38,863
five, six, seven, eight.
1630
01:33:40,490 --> 01:33:41,490
Hold it!
1631
01:33:45,286 --> 01:33:47,038
Get rid of the ramp.
1632
01:33:48,414 --> 01:33:51,626
Now, ladies, pay attention.
We've got a lot of work to do.
1633
01:33:51,960 --> 01:33:54,963
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!
1634
01:33:55,296 --> 01:33:57,048
♪ Me ol" bam-boo
1635
01:33:57,382 --> 01:33:58,901
♪ You better never bother
with me ol" Dam-boo
1636
01:33:58,925 --> 01:34:00,525
♪ You can have me hat
or me 'number-shoot
1637
01:34:00,802 --> 01:34:05,598
♪ But you better never
bother with me ol" Dam-boo
1638
01:34:07,600 --> 01:34:09,102
- Mr. French, are you busy?
1639
01:34:09,435 --> 01:34:10,103
- Yeah.
1640
01:34:10,436 --> 01:34:12,147
I'd just like to
ask you one question
1641
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,566
about my daughter, Celia Parks?
1642
01:34:14,899 --> 01:34:17,402
The one who sang I Feel Pretty.
1643
01:34:18,862 --> 01:34:20,446
I just wanted to
know if you think
1644
01:34:20,780 --> 01:34:24,325
she has a future as a
professional singer.
1645
01:34:24,659 --> 01:34:27,328
Not unless Florence
Henderson dies.
1646
01:34:44,512 --> 01:34:46,848
We feel we are not
doing these new routines
1647
01:34:47,182 --> 01:34:49,017
as well without the ramp.
1648
01:34:54,939 --> 01:34:59,027
We were just wondering why
we can't have the ramp.
1649
01:35:00,278 --> 01:35:01,487
Because I said so.
1650
01:35:18,379 --> 01:35:19,839
Was there something else?
1651
01:35:20,173 --> 01:35:21,609
We'll never be as
good without the ramp.
1652
01:35:21,633 --> 01:35:22,759
It just isn't fair!
1653
01:35:23,092 --> 01:35:24,719
Few things in life are.
1654
01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,415
I've been working
so hard all week.
1655
01:35:28,681 --> 01:35:30,391
Vim and Vigor is my best event.
1656
01:35:30,725 --> 01:35:33,085
I've won the preliminaries, and
I was counting on that ramp.
1657
01:35:33,144 --> 01:35:34,687
Hold it a minute!
1658
01:35:35,021 --> 01:35:37,523
Are you speaking
for the group now?
1659
01:35:37,857 --> 01:35:40,693
Because if you are, you're
sure using the word "|" a lot.
1660
01:35:41,027 --> 01:35:43,655
No, I guess I'm
speaking for myself.
1661
01:35:43,988 --> 01:35:48,284
Then here's an answer, just
for you: The ramp is out!
1662
01:35:49,744 --> 01:35:51,704
16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
1663
01:35:52,038 --> 01:35:53,289
♪ Me ol" bam-boo
1664
01:35:53,623 --> 01:35:55,392
♪ You better never bother
with me ol" Dam-boo
1665
01:35:55,416 --> 01:35:57,016
♪ You can have me hat
or me 'number-shoot
1666
01:35:57,210 --> 01:36:01,881
♪ But you better never
bother with me ol" Dam-boo
1667
01:36:08,471 --> 01:36:10,515
And one, two, and turn!
1668
01:36:18,606 --> 01:36:19,606
Easy.
1669
01:36:23,987 --> 01:36:24,987
- Are you all right?
1670
01:36:25,113 --> 01:36:25,780
- Yeah, I'm all right.
1671
01:36:26,114 --> 01:36:27,407
What happened?
1672
01:36:27,740 --> 01:36:29,867
I should have gone left
instead of straight ahead.
1673
01:36:30,201 --> 01:36:33,496
I flunked Driver's Ed
for the same thing.
1674
01:36:43,548 --> 01:36:45,049
Put back the ramp.
1675
01:36:49,345 --> 01:36:50,763
You win, you little
toad bastard!
1676
01:36:51,097 --> 01:36:52,473
I want the $1,500 tonight!
1677
01:36:52,807 --> 01:36:54,743
And if Miss Anaheim is not
smart enough to sue you
1678
01:36:54,767 --> 01:36:56,007
I will personally introduce her
1679
01:36:56,227 --> 01:36:59,105
to a nice lawyer
who is not a Jaycee.
1680
01:37:04,402 --> 01:37:05,754
- No, listen, I'm
going to soak it.
1681
01:37:05,778 --> 01:37:06,446
-Are you all right, darling?
1682
01:37:06,779 --> 01:37:10,158
Can I get you anything,
a doctor, a Pepsi?
1683
01:37:22,295 --> 01:37:24,005
Wait, let me help you.
1684
01:37:25,298 --> 01:37:26,841
- Please don't make
such a fuss, dear.
1685
01:37:27,175 --> 01:37:28,843
- I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine.
1686
01:37:29,177 --> 01:37:30,537
- Hello, Earl. How
are you tonight?
1687
01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:31,387
- See you inside.
1688
01:37:31,721 --> 01:37:32,721
- Doesn't it hurt?
1689
01:37:32,764 --> 01:37:34,015
- It's not important.
1690
01:37:34,349 --> 01:37:37,268
Please remember I simply
slipped and sprained my arm.
1691
01:37:37,602 --> 01:37:38,602
That's all.
1692
01:37:38,853 --> 01:37:40,080
Yeah, but I think
you're being too good
1693
01:37:40,104 --> 01:37:41,665
to that bastard by
keeping this thing quiet.
1694
01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:43,441
If Gary took a shot at me,
1695
01:37:43,775 --> 01:37:45,252
I'd make sure it was
on the front page.
1696
01:37:45,276 --> 01:37:47,362
Why are you protecting him?
1697
01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:52,075
It's not for Andy.
It's for the girls.
1698
01:37:54,035 --> 01:37:57,538
He's lucky to be leaving
someone like you.
1699
01:38:01,542 --> 01:38:02,822
How do you feel?
How's your knee?
1700
01:38:03,086 --> 01:38:05,880
The knee's okay,
but I'm so nervous.
1701
01:38:06,798 --> 01:38:07,918
I mean, I'm starting to feel
1702
01:38:08,091 --> 01:38:09,967
like I wanna win
again, you know?
1703
01:38:10,301 --> 01:38:12,553
Yeah. It's a hard feeling
to get rid of, isn't it?
1704
01:38:12,887 --> 01:38:13,887
Right.
1705
01:38:13,971 --> 01:38:17,517
Sometimes I feel like
I could win, you know?
1706
01:38:18,768 --> 01:38:20,436
Then I get mad at
myself for wanting to,
1707
01:38:20,770 --> 01:38:22,230
and then I get mad at myself
1708
01:38:22,563 --> 01:38:24,565
for being dumb enough
to think that I could.
1709
01:38:24,899 --> 01:38:26,401
Yeah, I feel the same way.
1710
01:38:26,734 --> 01:38:28,403
I want to win so bad.
1711
01:38:44,585 --> 01:38:46,379
Big Bob. How are we doing?
1712
01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:47,964
- How are we doing?
1713
01:38:49,424 --> 01:38:50,424
- Yeah.
1714
01:38:50,466 --> 01:38:52,510
Oh, we're doing great, Wilson.
1715
01:38:54,429 --> 01:38:56,305
We are doing just great.
1716
01:38:56,639 --> 01:38:59,308
And a hell of job
by you this year.
1717
01:39:03,855 --> 01:39:05,022
It's show time!
1718
01:39:10,403 --> 01:39:13,614
And to shine over this
great and fabulous evening,
1719
01:39:13,948 --> 01:39:16,409
Old Glory carried with honor
1720
01:39:16,742 --> 01:39:19,620
by the Santa Rosa Marine
Auxiliary Color Guard.
1721
01:39:19,954 --> 01:39:23,583
Three strong Americans
who keep America strong.
1722
01:39:27,879 --> 01:39:30,798
("National Anthem")
1723
01:39:43,895 --> 01:39:46,522
(upbeat music)
1724
01:39:51,777 --> 01:39:53,654
And with their symbolic
rose of friendship
1725
01:39:53,988 --> 01:39:55,990
each of our girls bids adieu
1726
01:39:56,324 --> 01:40:00,661
to the reigning Young American
Miss, Jo Ann Marshall.
1727
01:40:24,727 --> 01:40:26,103
Goodbye, Jo Ann.
1728
01:40:26,437 --> 01:40:28,689
Goodbye, Young American Miss.
1729
01:40:43,120 --> 01:40:45,164
There they go, ladies and
gentlemen, the judges.
1730
01:40:45,498 --> 01:40:48,584
And frankly, I don't
envy them one little bit.
1731
01:40:48,918 --> 01:40:50,358
They have already
done the impossible
1732
01:40:50,461 --> 01:40:52,755
by selecting the
five most wonderful.
1733
01:40:53,089 --> 01:40:56,133
To entertain you while
our judges deliberate,
1734
01:40:56,467 --> 01:41:00,555
those truly grand and
truly glorious has-beens
1735
01:41:00,888 --> 01:41:02,139
have worked up a little number.
1736
01:41:02,473 --> 01:41:03,473
You'll enjoy this.
1737
01:41:03,724 --> 01:41:04,993
Let's bring them on with
a round of applause.
1738
01:41:05,017 --> 01:41:07,770
Ladies and gentlemen,
our has-beens.
1739
01:41:28,082 --> 01:41:30,251
(drums rolling)
1740
01:41:30,585 --> 01:41:31,711
Thank you, Jo Ann.
1741
01:41:33,004 --> 01:41:35,590
Here it is, ladies
and gentlemen.
1742
01:41:35,923 --> 01:41:36,591
I sometimes wonder
how those astronauts
1743
01:41:36,924 --> 01:41:38,759
handle all that pressure.
1744
01:41:40,803 --> 01:41:44,599
And our fourth runner-up,
ladies and gentlemen,
1745
01:41:58,446 --> 01:42:00,615
Miss Anaheim, Doria Houston!
1746
01:42:03,200 --> 01:42:05,494
Anaheim's own Doria Houston!
1747
01:42:21,844 --> 01:42:23,721
And our third runner-up:
1748
01:42:30,978 --> 01:42:33,105
Miss Fresno, Leslie Anderson!
1749
01:42:41,530 --> 01:42:44,492
And here it is, our
second runner-up.
1750
01:42:46,369 --> 01:42:48,162
What an exciting night.
1751
01:42:50,039 --> 01:42:51,874
Miss Modesto, Judy Wagner!
1752
01:42:54,043 --> 01:42:55,878
Modesto's own Judy Wagner!
1753
01:43:09,100 --> 01:43:12,687
And now, it's time for
the first runner-up.
1754
01:43:13,020 --> 01:43:14,340
And remember,
ladies and gentlemen
1755
01:43:14,438 --> 01:43:17,775
that if for any
reason our California
1756
01:43:18,109 --> 01:43:19,735
Young American Miss
selected tonight
1757
01:43:20,069 --> 01:43:23,239
is unable to fulfill
her responsibilities,
1758
01:43:23,572 --> 01:43:26,784
this is the girl that
would take her place.
1759
01:43:28,911 --> 01:43:30,371
Our first runner-up:
1760
01:43:36,836 --> 01:43:38,754
Greater Dinuba, Nancy Hess!
1761
01:43:40,089 --> 01:43:42,717
Nancy Hess from Greater Dinuba!
1762
01:43:53,352 --> 01:43:55,104
And now, here it is,
that special moment
1763
01:43:55,438 --> 01:43:57,565
that we've worked
all week toward.
1764
01:43:57,898 --> 01:44:00,526
I don't mind telling you,
hairs are standing on end.
1765
01:44:00,860 --> 01:44:04,947
And remember, there are no
winners and losers here,
1766
01:44:07,408 --> 01:44:10,494
because each of our
girls is a winner.
1767
01:44:11,912 --> 01:44:15,708
But if there ever was a
winner, this would be it.
1768
01:44:16,041 --> 01:44:19,336
This is the gal to beat
in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
1769
01:44:19,670 --> 01:44:22,798
our new California
Young American Miss.
1770
01:44:36,145 --> 01:44:39,023
Fountain Valley,
Shawn Christianson!
1771
01:44:40,107 --> 01:44:43,027
Miss Fountain Valley,
Shawn Christianson!
1772
01:44:43,360 --> 01:44:48,115
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
1773
01:45:21,524 --> 01:45:23,067
♪ Once she held her tears inside
1774
01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:27,446
♪ But now there's
nothing left to hide
1775
01:45:27,780 --> 01:45:30,908
♪ An all-American girl you see
1776
01:45:31,242 --> 01:45:34,286
♪ She's all an American
girl should be
1777
01:45:34,620 --> 01:45:37,581
♪ With an inner beauty
she shines bright
1778
01:45:37,915 --> 01:45:40,709
♪ With a sense of
duty here tonight
1779
01:45:41,043 --> 01:45:43,963
♪ She'll wear her crown
with love and respect
1780
01:45:44,296 --> 01:45:49,051
♪ She's our Young
American girl elect
1781
01:45:50,052 --> 01:45:53,973
♪ An all-American girl you see
1782
01:45:54,306 --> 01:45:58,769
♪ She's all an American
girl should be
1783
01:46:13,450 --> 01:46:14,910
There she is, ladies
and gentlemen,
1784
01:46:15,244 --> 01:46:19,707
California's new Young American
Miss, Shawn Christianson.
1785
01:46:20,791 --> 01:46:22,209
Isn't she lovely?
1786
01:46:22,543 --> 01:46:24,420
Aren't they all lovely?
1787
01:46:24,753 --> 01:46:26,505
Isn't everyone lovely?
1788
01:46:26,839 --> 01:46:29,049
(upbeat music)
1789
01:46:35,472 --> 01:46:37,474
Our thanks to all of
our lovely contestants,
1790
01:46:37,808 --> 01:46:39,168
the great work done
by the Jaycees,
1791
01:46:39,226 --> 01:46:41,020
our fabulously unique judges,
1792
01:46:41,353 --> 01:46:42,688
of course, the
fantastic orchestra
1793
01:46:43,022 --> 01:46:45,149
under the supervision
of Ray Brandy,
1794
01:46:45,482 --> 01:46:46,901
our stupendous
director, the superb
1795
01:46:47,234 --> 01:46:49,528
Hollywood professional,
Mr. Tommy French.
1796
01:46:49,862 --> 01:46:52,489
And, of course, our
miraculous stage crew.
1797
01:46:52,823 --> 01:46:54,383
Mostly, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen,
1798
01:46:54,617 --> 01:46:55,977
for making it such
a great evening.
1799
01:46:56,201 --> 01:46:57,201
Thank you and good night.
1800
01:46:57,369 --> 01:46:58,746
See you next year!
1801
01:47:31,570 --> 01:47:32,570
Doria!
1802
01:47:40,204 --> 01:47:42,665
Robin, I wanted you to win, too.
1803
01:47:45,167 --> 01:47:47,920
Maybe I'm not an opportunist.
1804
01:47:48,253 --> 01:47:50,714
Listen, Doria, don't
worry about it.
1805
01:47:51,048 --> 01:47:52,967
I'm just glad it's over.
1806
01:47:53,300 --> 01:47:54,300
No shit.
1807
01:47:58,097 --> 01:47:59,097
Momma!
1808
01:48:03,727 --> 01:48:05,479
I'm so glad to see you.
1809
01:48:28,252 --> 01:48:30,629
Are you done with this stuff?
1810
01:48:31,714 --> 01:48:32,881
- Excuse me?
1811
01:48:33,215 --> 01:48:34,341
- I throw it away.
1812
01:48:35,676 --> 01:48:38,429
Go ahead, throw it
away. Thank you.
1813
01:48:41,265 --> 01:48:42,933
Front and center, huh!
1814
01:48:48,522 --> 01:48:49,565
Forward, huh!
1815
01:48:52,317 --> 01:48:53,317
Detail, halt.
1816
01:48:56,280 --> 01:48:57,281
Order, huh!
1817
01:48:59,575 --> 01:49:00,575
At ease.
1818
01:49:14,590 --> 01:49:16,050
Keep them tight. Roll them up.
1819
01:49:16,383 --> 01:49:17,383
- Hiya, fellas.
1820
01:49:17,509 --> 01:49:19,011
- How you doing?
1821
01:49:19,344 --> 01:49:20,824
You guys sure did a
super job tonight.
1822
01:49:21,096 --> 01:49:22,096
Thank you.
1823
01:49:22,347 --> 01:49:24,933
Thank you. Watch the flag, Gene.
1824
01:49:26,810 --> 01:49:28,687
The First Division, huh?
1825
01:49:29,021 --> 01:49:30,021
Yes, sir.
1826
01:49:31,732 --> 01:49:32,858
Roll in tight.
1827
01:49:33,942 --> 01:49:36,070
I was in the First Division.
1828
01:49:36,403 --> 01:49:38,030
Watch your flag there, Gene.
1829
01:49:38,363 --> 01:49:41,075
We held the Chosin Reservoir.
1830
01:49:41,408 --> 01:49:43,328
Did you see the knockers
on Miss Imperial County?
1831
01:49:43,410 --> 01:49:44,410
- Yeah, both of them.
1832
01:49:44,536 --> 01:49:46,330
- Let's get out of here.
1833
01:49:56,548 --> 01:50:01,470
♪ Smile though your
heart is aching
1834
01:50:03,472 --> 01:50:04,807
♪ Smile even though
it's breaking
1835
01:50:05,140 --> 01:50:06,340
No, these are just for Sunday.
1836
01:50:06,391 --> 01:50:08,143
Actually, I have
six more of them.
1837
01:50:08,477 --> 01:50:11,563
I just wear these on
Sundays. What? Four.
1838
01:50:43,720 --> 01:50:48,559
♪ Light up your
face with gladness
1839
01:50:49,601 --> 01:50:53,939
♪ Hide every trace of sadness
1840
01:50:55,482 --> 01:50:59,987
♪ Although a tear
may be ever so near
1841
01:51:05,659 --> 01:51:10,455
♪ That's the time you
must keep on trying
1842
01:51:13,667 --> 01:51:16,503
Step right into
my Guy here, Mom.
1843
01:51:16,837 --> 01:51:17,939
My open road. How about that?
1844
01:51:17,963 --> 01:51:18,963
Have a balloon here, Dad.
1845
01:51:19,131 --> 01:51:19,798
Let me show you something.
1846
01:51:20,132 --> 01:51:21,292
How about solid construction?
1847
01:51:21,466 --> 01:51:23,510
Look at this solid
body, solid steel.
1848
01:51:23,844 --> 01:51:25,304
Why are you worrying
about credit?
1849
01:51:25,637 --> 01:51:27,848
We don't worry about it.
1850
01:51:28,182 --> 01:51:30,934
♪ If you just smile
1851
01:51:35,314 --> 01:51:37,691
(bright music)
1852
01:51:46,992 --> 01:51:49,328
(upbeat music)
1853
01:51:57,586 --> 01:51:59,213
♪ We can see a bright tomorrow
1854
01:51:59,546 --> 01:52:01,965
♪ Built by youth you see today
1855
01:52:02,299 --> 01:52:05,052
♪ We have faith, we have hope
1856
01:52:05,385 --> 01:52:08,722
♪ We can see a brighter day
1857
01:52:24,363 --> 01:52:27,532
-13,14,15,16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
1858
01:52:27,866 --> 01:52:29,201
♪ Me ol" bam-boo
1859
01:52:29,534 --> 01:52:31,334
♪ You better never bother
with me ol" Dam-boo
1860
01:52:31,620 --> 01:52:33,220
♪ You can have me hat
or me 'number-shoot
1861
01:52:33,497 --> 01:52:38,293
♪ But you better never
bother with me ol" Dam-boo
1862
01:52:38,877 --> 01:52:41,296
(upbeat music)