1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 ♪ 2 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:09,500 ♪ 3 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:30,000 ♪ 4 00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:31,399 ♪ 5 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:36,739 T.S. Eliot said that the purpose of literature was to turn blood into ink. 6 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,920 Well, I tried that. 7 00:00:40,619 --> 00:00:43,060 I published five collections of poetry in 8 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:46,439 eight years, and I bled like a haemophiliac. 9 00:00:47,399 --> 00:00:51,320 Then, somewhere along the way, the blood finally clotted. 10 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:58,239 Over time, the scab became a scar, and now I can scarcely feel the wound. 11 00:00:59,679 --> 00:01:02,359 All the arterism veins had dried out. 12 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,920 I no longer turn blood into ink. 13 00:01:06,879 --> 00:01:10,199 These days, I turn whiskey into journalism. 14 00:01:11,479 --> 00:01:14,099 I haven't written a poem since 1987. 15 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:20,000 ♪ 16 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:29,000 ♪ 17 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:38,000 ♪ 18 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:43,000 ♪ 19 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,000 ♪ 20 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:57,000 ♪ 21 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:02,250 ♪ 22 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:07,500 ♪ 23 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:12,750 ♪ 24 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000 ♪ 25 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:22,400 ♪ 26 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,980 ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, 27 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:30,980 ♪ 28 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,520 ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, 29 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,659 Noble patricians, patrons of my right, 30 00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:55,580 defend the justice of my cause with arms. 31 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,680 Justice! 32 00:02:56,699 --> 00:02:59,539 And countrymen, and my loving followers. 33 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:04,840 Never Bassanius, Caesar's son, were gracious in the eyes of royal Rome. 34 00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,159 Take then this passage to the capital... 35 00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:08,860 Complete and utter crap. 36 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,599 Shh, you're not defending this fecal matter, are you? 37 00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:14,599 To justice! 38 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:16,960 Continence! 39 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,020 And nobility! 40 00:03:26,759 --> 00:03:29,699 Princes that strive by factions and by friends... 41 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,659 Oh, fuck off. 42 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,839 Will you keep your opinions to yourself? 43 00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:38,719 He's rather against the grain being a critic, isn't he? 44 00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:44,750 ...know that the people of Rome, for whom we stand a special party, have... 45 00:03:45,299 --> 00:03:46,839 By common voice. 46 00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:50,709 ...have by common voice, in election for the Roman Empire... 47 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:57,969 Chosen andronicus, so name it pious, for many authors... 48 00:03:57,969 --> 00:04:02,349 Get off the stage and find new representation. 49 00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:04,150 Is this part of the performance? 50 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:06,710 On the contrary, madam, this is an intervention. 51 00:04:07,310 --> 00:04:11,330 Where is the man responsible for this theatrical ordeal? 52 00:04:11,689 --> 00:04:14,009 Where is Matthew Lake? 53 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,129 Throw him out! 54 00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:16,509 Not me, madam. 55 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:20,269 It is the director who should be ejected, then tarred and 56 00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:25,410 feathered for inflicting such loose-stooled effluent upon the paying public. 57 00:04:25,649 --> 00:04:26,649 Say that again! 58 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:32,000 ♪ 59 00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:38,129 Loose, stooled, effluent. 60 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,639 Oh, do you need the line again? 61 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,100 Still got it. 62 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,189 We need to put up a strong front, but 63 00:05:19,189 --> 00:05:22,569 first we have to check you in for some rehab. 64 00:05:23,129 --> 00:05:24,470 I can hold my drink. 65 00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:27,670 Ted, I'm trying to help you. 66 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:31,089 This, this all, all just needs management. 67 00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:34,889 Needs management, the war cry of the brown trouser. 68 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,329 You know I venerate your work. 69 00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:39,350 I know no such thing. 70 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,089 I know you've been told by people cleverer 71 00:05:42,089 --> 00:05:44,550 than you that I'm a feather in your greasy cap. 72 00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:48,189 I know my writing for you makes you feel successful. 73 00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:53,149 I know, you know, I could walk into any job and 74 00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:57,730 spark grateful tears from the illiterate pricks in charge. 75 00:05:58,069 --> 00:06:03,110 I also know you took culture because you couldn't get the news desk. 76 00:06:03,649 --> 00:06:06,490 You would censure me. 77 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:09,870 You're the one bringing down the tone with your mealy-mouthed 78 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:13,670 mummery and your prostration before the gods of public approval. 79 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:16,350 I bet you never had a wank that wasn't 80 00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:20,949 focus-grouped, you sexually craven provincial nerd. 81 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,009 Why don't you take your freckled arse on a 82 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:27,889 sabbatical and let a real man edit the paper? 83 00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:31,409 You may have been the great hope for British poetry once 84 00:06:31,409 --> 00:06:35,069 upon a forever ago, but when did you last write anything, huh? 85 00:06:35,649 --> 00:06:38,470 When did you last do anything at all? 86 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:43,930 I have about as much need of you as I do a fucking fountain pen. 87 00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:47,199 Is that all? 88 00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:52,100 Get out, you're fired. 89 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,000 ♪ 90 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:06,379 No use denying the fact we all feel undervalued. 91 00:07:07,659 --> 00:07:11,379 To be told officially that we're off the case confirms our 92 00:07:11,379 --> 00:07:15,659 sense of being not fully appreciated by an insensitive world. 93 00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:19,219 Paradoxically, this increases our self-esteem 94 00:07:19,219 --> 00:07:22,019 because it proves that we were right all along. 95 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,779 Even when, what we're proved right about is 96 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,579 that everyone considers us a waste of skin. 97 00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:35,670 Finding myself at leisure, perhaps I shall have some time to 98 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:39,790 craft the burning gems of literature that I was once famous for. 99 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:44,430 It was unlikely a poem would come in such peaceful 100 00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:47,210 circumstances, but you won't get if you don't ask. 101 00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:50,970 So I listed, as is my custom, such 102 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,670 few words as my mood suggested. 103 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:55,870 Egregious. 104 00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:57,170 Salsify. 105 00:08:00,010 --> 00:08:01,010 Monstration. 106 00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:07,750 The rare words annoy the punter, but they never think about a poet's lot. 107 00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:12,050 A painter has oils, acrylics, and pastels. 108 00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:15,870 Turpentine, linseed, canvas, sable, and hog's hair. 109 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:21,509 A musician has entire machines of wood, brass, gut, and carbon fibre. 110 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,330 The poet, though... 111 00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:24,710 Oh, yes, the poor poet. 112 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:27,910 Pity the poor bloody poet. 113 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,440 Roddy, I'm afraid I can't extend you credit, Mr. Wallace. 114 00:08:41,149 --> 00:08:42,149 Hell. 115 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,189 It's on me. 116 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,379 One of the finest phrases in our language. 117 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,440 You're very good health, madam. 118 00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,140 And yours? 119 00:08:55,980 --> 00:08:58,080 You are Ted Wallace, aren't you? 120 00:08:58,780 --> 00:08:59,860 You may not remember me. 121 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,920 We haven't done the deed, have we? 122 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:05,620 I'm Jane Swan. 123 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,660 Jane Swan. 124 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,560 One of the Berkshire Swans? 125 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:16,480 Cast your mind back to a small font, a baby, and a rising poet. 126 00:09:21,049 --> 00:09:23,429 I'm Jane Burrell, Rebecca's daughter. 127 00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,109 Fuck my best boots. 128 00:09:28,549 --> 00:09:31,809 I haven't seen you since your mother threw me out. 129 00:09:32,009 --> 00:09:33,009 I know. 130 00:09:33,549 --> 00:09:35,389 I was always very proud of you. 131 00:09:36,329 --> 00:09:38,129 Two of your poems were set texts at school. 132 00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:39,269 Well, you should have written. 133 00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:41,649 I would have come and gabbled at the sixth form. 134 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,769 Well, I hoped I'd find you here. 135 00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:47,349 Where the last of the semi-famous get arseholed. 136 00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:48,789 More than semi-famous. 137 00:09:50,269 --> 00:09:52,269 My friends adore your reviews. 138 00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:54,729 Well, train has just pulled out, I'm afraid. 139 00:09:54,789 --> 00:09:55,789 Really? 140 00:09:56,509 --> 00:10:00,069 Sooth, you see before you a recently fired man. 141 00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:04,049 That is simply the best news. 142 00:10:04,969 --> 00:10:05,969 Is it? 143 00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:07,129 Will you come home with me? 144 00:10:09,649 --> 00:10:10,929 With pleasure. 145 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:19,580 Jane's home lived up to my ripest expectations, as degrading a 146 00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:24,020 cocktail of overpriced cliches can be found outside Beverly Hills, 147 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:28,900 any given surface crammed with some mad medley of crystal flacons, 148 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,740 miscellaneous fertility dildos, and a 149 00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:34,620 veritable who's who of international deities. 150 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,759 Do you like? 151 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,300 Like isn't the word. 152 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,100 Some of the pieces are really special. 153 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,460 That thing on the sofa is a Kazakh placenta sheet. 154 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,549 ♪ 155 00:10:48,549 --> 00:10:52,649 In the taxi over, Jane had mentioned she had a job for me. 156 00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:55,669 I demurred, of course, and asked to be let out somewhere 157 00:10:55,669 --> 00:10:58,309 in St. John's Wood, but she told the driver to keep 158 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:01,769 driving and assured me I was going to simply love her 159 00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:06,389 terrific new idea, which she troublingly referred to as The Project. 160 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,870 are we here? 161 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,840 I have a proposition. 162 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,679 That's practically incest. 163 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,669 My doctor tells me I have three months to live. 164 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:31,789 Leukemia. 165 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,500 That's a smeller 166 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:40,460 Scared? 167 00:11:41,899 --> 00:11:42,919 Not anymore. 168 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,240 That's ballsy. 169 00:11:46,799 --> 00:11:49,819 But it's a grotty age and a grotty world, 170 00:11:49,879 --> 00:11:51,659 and we'll all be joining you soon enough. 171 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,919 Do you believe in miracles? 172 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,500 As in calming the storms and feeding the multitudes? 173 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:02,639 Give us a fag. 174 00:12:04,259 --> 00:12:06,840 A marvelous and mysterious thing has 175 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,519 happened to me, and I want you to investigate it. 176 00:12:10,319 --> 00:12:12,159 I don't know what you have in mind, but 177 00:12:12,159 --> 00:12:14,779 I'm not exactly an investigative journalist. 178 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,120 You sure? 179 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,319 No interest? 180 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:22,299 Well, it might be ungodfatherly of me to suggest, but 181 00:12:22,299 --> 00:12:24,699 it's a racing certainty you're not in your right mind. 182 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:29,939 Well, you're forgiven, but it's a pity, because you know the people involved. 183 00:12:30,519 --> 00:12:31,519 My uncle Michael. 184 00:12:32,259 --> 00:12:33,259 Michael Logan? 185 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,620 And I'd pay you handsomely. 186 00:12:36,319 --> 00:12:41,019 25,000 now, and the rest either later or left in my will. 187 00:12:41,339 --> 00:12:42,799 I thought you said... 188 00:12:42,799 --> 00:12:44,220 The doctors say I'm going to die. 189 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,139 I don't believe I will. 190 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,279 Something happened to me at Swafford Hall. 191 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,539 I want you to go there and find the truth. 192 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,759 And if the truth is you're not cured? 193 00:12:57,899 --> 00:12:59,439 Then I'm dying of leukaemia. 194 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,179 Twenty-five thousand pounds. 195 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,200 A hundred, all told. 196 00:13:07,940 --> 00:13:09,659 Jane, there must be a thousand 197 00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:11,899 journalists who would do it for a tenth of that sum. 198 00:13:12,019 --> 00:13:14,200 You're the only one who'd get through Swafford's front door. 199 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,019 But Michael... You're godfather to his son. 200 00:13:16,259 --> 00:13:17,259 Use him as your cover. 201 00:13:17,539 --> 00:13:19,899 Delicious girl, since your mother and I parted 202 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,879 ways, I've been as welcome at Swafford as a... 203 00:13:21,879 --> 00:13:23,240 No, godson is still a godson. 204 00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:25,879 Write to David, wangle an invitation. 205 00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:30,409 and stay in touch. 206 00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:35,129 I could be out of the house and filling in a deposit slip in 10 minutes. 207 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:40,949 Jane was mad, certainly, but her check was crossed and endearingly sane. 208 00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:46,089 I was perfectly happy to labor in the service of Jane's delusions. 209 00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,889 But what were those delusions? 210 00:13:49,889 --> 00:13:55,089 I envied those careless peasants tasked to find a needle in a haystack. 211 00:13:55,689 --> 00:13:57,549 Mine was a more elusive quarry. 212 00:13:58,090 --> 00:14:01,849 An unholy mating of wild goose and shaggy dog. 213 00:14:03,889 --> 00:14:05,949 My last visit to Swafford had been 214 00:14:05,949 --> 00:14:09,409 amusing enough, but hardly revealing of miracles. 215 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:18,500 ♪ 216 00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:22,500 ♪ 217 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,500 I'm the pale moon shining 218 00:14:27,849 --> 00:14:32,379 ♪ 219 00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:35,040 ♪ 220 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,080 ♪ 221 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,820 ♪ 222 00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:45,200 ♪ 223 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,220 ♪ 224 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,360 Thank you for picking me up, Simon. 225 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:57,000 Davey wanted to come, but I thought you'd enjoy the two seats some more. 226 00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,100 Built it myself! 227 00:15:03,049 --> 00:15:04,469 Maybe says you're a poet. 228 00:15:05,929 --> 00:15:09,449 That's the rumor Do one 229 00:15:12,649 --> 00:15:14,389 Who am I? 230 00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:15,389 A poet! 231 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,100 There was a young man called Simon 232 00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:25,360 who hated the art of rhyming. 233 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:29,860 He thought it a shame that his very own 234 00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:33,259 name could only be mated with hymen. 235 00:15:35,139 --> 00:15:36,139 Genius! 236 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,600 And limericks the best I can do at 60 miles an hour. 237 00:15:43,299 --> 00:15:47,339 hold your hats the roof is about 238 00:15:47,339 --> 00:15:50,159 to tumble in holy cats 239 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:55,440 ♪ 240 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,809 ♪ 241 00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:03,330 ♪ 242 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,649 whoopin' up the whoop today. 243 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:10,000 ♪ 244 00:16:10,539 --> 00:16:14,899 Swafford Hall, the home of the Logan family since 1984 245 00:16:15,259 --> 00:16:19,240 when globe-trotting tycoon Michael Logan debased himself 246 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:23,120 for love by marrying into the cash-strapped British aristocracy. 247 00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:26,699 After doing something sinister for Margaret Thatcher in 248 00:16:26,699 --> 00:16:31,100 the late 1980s, Michael was rebranded Lord Logan of 249 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:34,319 Swafford and has since successfully managed the great 250 00:16:34,319 --> 00:16:37,819 house as a personal fiefdom without compromising himself 251 00:16:37,819 --> 00:16:40,879 by running a wedding venue or boutique hotel 252 00:16:40,879 --> 00:16:44,000 or, God forbid, a safari park. 253 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,399 Uncle Edward! 254 00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:52,379 Uncle Edward! 255 00:16:53,899 --> 00:16:54,899 Uncle Edward! 256 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,240 Oh, Uncle Edward! 257 00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:58,759 Uncle Edward! 258 00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:01,459 Well met. 259 00:17:01,539 --> 00:17:02,559 Hello, Uncle Edward. 260 00:17:03,019 --> 00:17:04,019 Hello, Uncle Edward! 261 00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:06,460 Just... 262 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,900 Just plain Ted. 263 00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:10,259 Well, come on, Uncle Ted. 264 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,039 We've got so much to talk about. 265 00:17:23,869 --> 00:17:24,889 Podmore, is it not? 266 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:28,549 Welcome back to Swafford, Mr. Wallis. 267 00:17:30,409 --> 00:17:31,549 Oh, don't worry. 268 00:17:31,869 --> 00:17:33,049 I'll show Uncle Ted the house. 269 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,169 Oh, very well, Mr. Ted. 270 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,389 And then, after dinner, I can take you round the east wing. 271 00:17:49,049 --> 00:17:50,129 Whiskey's right, isn't it? 272 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:51,569 Indeed. 273 00:17:53,649 --> 00:17:56,690 But first, perhaps a bath. 274 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:03,860 Followed by, conceivably, a nap. 275 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:15,400 Well, um, when you've... 276 00:18:16,019 --> 00:18:17,240 I'll be on the South Lawn. 277 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,060 In case you wanted a chat. 278 00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:22,980 Bye. 279 00:18:33,469 --> 00:18:37,210 Since becoming his godfather, I had exchanged a series of 280 00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:41,210 letters with young David, mine brief and infrequent and 281 00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:45,049 only occasionally freighted with a crumpled fiver, his 282 00:18:45,049 --> 00:18:50,490 almost monthly, impossibly tedious and often in iambic pentameter. 283 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:56,500 ♪ 284 00:18:56,750 --> 00:19:01,000 ♪ 285 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:05,769 He looked up to his father Michael like a tiny daisy looks to 286 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,789 the sky wishing he'll grow up to be the blazing ball of the sun. 287 00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:15,829 The truth is that men like Michael were never willowy teenage poets. 288 00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:19,430 They were the prep school bullies punching the tuck money out 289 00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:24,730 of cretinous boys like David and blowing it on fags and jazz mags. 290 00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:28,609 Well, I'm here at least. 291 00:19:29,049 --> 00:19:33,410 How long I'll stay depends I suppose on the kind of reception Michael gives me. 292 00:19:36,799 --> 00:19:39,680 Michael and I were once the best of friends but a 293 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,500 lot of water has passed under that particular bridge. 294 00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:46,159 Then the bridge has been dynamited by a corps of engineers 295 00:19:46,159 --> 00:19:50,659 and washed downriver into a vast ocean of frosty indifference. 296 00:19:51,279 --> 00:19:52,819 It's a long story. 297 00:20:00,019 --> 00:20:01,019 Ted. 298 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:02,759 My love. 299 00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:08,500 You're looking younger. 300 00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:10,339 Lost some of that fat. 301 00:20:12,059 --> 00:20:13,500 And you're looking... 302 00:20:14,539 --> 00:20:15,539 wetter. 303 00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:17,779 Tea? 304 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,259 Cake. 305 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,039 It is so good to see you. 306 00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:26,059 Where's Michael? 307 00:20:27,079 --> 00:20:29,059 He wants to have a date with you. 308 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:30,960 Before dinner. 309 00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:32,960 I'll best get it over with. 310 00:20:33,579 --> 00:20:36,380 The stock platitude of the untroubled mind. 311 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,160 I wish. 312 00:20:39,799 --> 00:20:40,799 My love, what is it? 313 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,440 It's David. 314 00:20:43,019 --> 00:20:44,039 Tell his godfather. 315 00:20:44,539 --> 00:20:46,059 He's doing very well at school. 316 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,380 And he's a lovely boy. 317 00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:48,720 It's just that he's a bit... 318 00:20:52,039 --> 00:20:53,519 odd with people. 319 00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:54,980 Roman's a goth. 320 00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,640 He's a bit odd with people all the time. 321 00:20:57,759 --> 00:20:59,299 Well, if only it was a matter of... 322 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,259 black eyeliner and clothes. 323 00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:02,519 Give me a for instance. 324 00:21:03,059 --> 00:21:04,980 Well, at a dinner party last weekend... 325 00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:06,980 he asked the local MP... 326 00:21:07,519 --> 00:21:08,980 which animal... 327 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:10,500 do you think has the longest penis? 328 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:13,660 She laughed... 329 00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:15,619 and snapped the stem of a wine glass. 330 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:17,500 He persisted. 331 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:18,980 She said... 332 00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:20,579 the sperm whale. 333 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,200 He said no. 334 00:21:22,639 --> 00:21:25,400 The male rabbit flea's erect penis... 335 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,579 is two thirds the length of his body. 336 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,640 Isn't that wonderful? 337 00:21:28,859 --> 00:21:31,579 Only if the female has a sufficiently elastic accommodation. 338 00:21:31,819 --> 00:21:32,819 He's sixteen. 339 00:21:33,339 --> 00:21:35,220 He ought to know how to avoid flustering people. 340 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,599 Teenagers are obsessed with sex. 341 00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:40,099 He's pushing the boundaries... 342 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,480 finding his space. 343 00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:42,559 It's normal. 344 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,299 Would you just keep an eye? 345 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:46,839 Both eyes. 346 00:21:47,299 --> 00:21:48,299 That's why I'm here. 347 00:21:50,420 --> 00:21:51,420 You're late. 348 00:21:51,599 --> 00:21:52,640 I had to start my practice. 349 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,640 I was sleuthing. 350 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,000 Jesus suffering fuck. 351 00:21:57,279 --> 00:21:59,079 Well, I expect you to be on time. 352 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:00,480 What have you seen? 353 00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:03,079 Simon is the boring teen... 354 00:22:03,079 --> 00:22:04,440 all England trophy holder. 355 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,480 David is... 356 00:22:06,879 --> 00:22:07,879 well... 357 00:22:07,879 --> 00:22:09,480 I don't know what David is yet... 358 00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,779 but I've seen no sign of anything... 359 00:22:11,779 --> 00:22:13,460 even faintly miraculous. 360 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,079 I'm not sure I'm getting value for money. 361 00:22:15,779 --> 00:22:17,299 Honeymunch, just tell me. 362 00:22:18,279 --> 00:22:19,480 Don't tantalize. 363 00:22:19,579 --> 00:22:20,579 Tell me. 364 00:22:20,579 --> 00:22:22,180 If you're not objective, there's no point. 365 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,539 You need to keep your eyes open... 366 00:22:25,539 --> 00:22:27,079 and see what needs to be seen. 367 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,200 Christ! 368 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,980 She's absolutely fucking bat-infested. 369 00:22:32,180 --> 00:22:33,240 Right now, though... 370 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,920 I have a pressing engagement... 371 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,079 to be the recipient of some of Michael's... 372 00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:39,099 old-fashioned mafia boss disapproval. 373 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,740 Humiliating her on television? 374 00:22:42,139 --> 00:22:43,279 Late night television. 375 00:22:43,639 --> 00:22:45,579 I told you it's a long story. 376 00:22:46,619 --> 00:22:47,660 A long... 377 00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,139 and complicated story. 378 00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:51,900 Look, I cared about her... 379 00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:53,480 too much to make her... 380 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,779 a future ex-wife. 381 00:22:59,819 --> 00:23:00,819 So? 382 00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:02,379 So? 383 00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:04,279 So, tell me your tale. 384 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,299 Your life is a mess, you've lost your job, and you've come to Swafford to... 385 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,440 -To... -hang out with David. 386 00:23:13,599 --> 00:23:15,240 You took your time getting in touch. 387 00:23:16,139 --> 00:23:20,019 It's been a few years, I admit, but I 388 00:23:20,019 --> 00:23:22,259 bumped into Jane, and that got me thinking. 389 00:23:22,539 --> 00:23:23,539 Thinking? 390 00:23:23,879 --> 00:23:24,879 What? 391 00:23:26,559 --> 00:23:28,359 Tell me why you're really here. 392 00:23:30,779 --> 00:23:31,779 I... 393 00:23:32,049 --> 00:23:37,799 You know, after the job, I've been looking for something to 394 00:23:37,799 --> 00:23:43,000 do, and I think you'd make an amazing subject for a biography. 395 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,960 You fucking journalist. 396 00:23:48,299 --> 00:23:51,119 A tame one, at the very worst. 397 00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:53,819 No biography, no snooping, nothing. 398 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,440 I promise you, it'd be no hatchet job. 399 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:58,240 Get out of my house. 400 00:23:58,619 --> 00:23:59,900 Michael, I'm sorry. 401 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,299 Forget I mentioned it. 402 00:24:02,319 --> 00:24:04,240 I do not trust you. 403 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:08,180 No, I see that 404 00:24:11,849 --> 00:24:15,809 Look, Anne is worried about David. 405 00:24:17,269 --> 00:24:19,889 There's no point denying I made an almighty mess with your 406 00:24:19,889 --> 00:24:23,269 sister, but to put courage into a cliché, 407 00:24:23,509 --> 00:24:26,049 all is fair in love and war. 408 00:24:26,149 --> 00:24:27,649 But not when it's played out in public. 409 00:24:28,389 --> 00:24:30,669 Yes, I understand. 410 00:24:32,250 --> 00:24:36,490 And on that understanding, I'm supposed to, what, give you a second chance? 411 00:24:37,449 --> 00:24:41,969 As a godfather, I promise I won't put so 412 00:24:41,969 --> 00:24:43,569 much as a look out of place. 413 00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:45,549 I'll be watching. 414 00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:47,069 Understood. 415 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,160 Well, welcome back to Swafford. 416 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:58,500 ♪ 417 00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:03,620 It's been more than a decade since Michael and I last 418 00:25:03,620 --> 00:25:07,000 crossed paths, although he crops up in the papers fairly 419 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:12,240 frequently as the highly celebrated CEO of this or that vast company. 420 00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:17,340 That stands for Chief Executive Officer and is, I 421 00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:21,519 believe, a sort of cross between a managing director and a cunt. 422 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,460 When a man like Michael says he's watching you, you 423 00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:30,779 may as well be getting that news from a great white shark. 424 00:25:38,349 --> 00:25:39,349 Stop. 425 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,500 ♪ 426 00:25:46,139 --> 00:25:47,139 David? 427 00:25:52,659 --> 00:25:57,319 Assuming that whatever enticed David from the house at just shy of 5 a.m. 428 00:25:57,419 --> 00:26:01,619 was either fun or trouble, I followed his tracks in the dew 429 00:26:01,619 --> 00:26:05,319 but discovered them to be a line of footprints leading nowhere. 430 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,000 Go! 431 00:26:18,589 --> 00:26:22,009 Feeling like twelve types of dick, I was suddenly 432 00:26:22,009 --> 00:26:26,050 struck by an image of David sprouting wings and flying away. 433 00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:31,590 Certainly that would be a miracle worth investigating. 434 00:26:34,799 --> 00:26:36,299 -Ow! -Fuck off! 435 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:37,680 Shite! 436 00:26:53,799 --> 00:26:54,799 Mmm. 437 00:26:55,579 --> 00:26:56,579 Mmm. 438 00:26:56,859 --> 00:26:57,859 Mmm. 439 00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,250 God. 440 00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:18,169 ... 441 00:27:18,849 --> 00:27:19,849 ... 442 00:27:25,669 --> 00:27:26,669 ... 443 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:50,000 ♪ 444 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:58,680 The things I do for money. 445 00:28:13,799 --> 00:28:17,859 How is a person supposed to investigate nothing in particular? 446 00:28:18,879 --> 00:28:22,500 It's like hiring Sherlock Holmes when no crime has been committed. 447 00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:26,339 I'm beginning to see why he spent so much time playing 448 00:28:26,339 --> 00:28:29,359 the fiddle and getting smashed out of his head on cocaine. 449 00:28:33,259 --> 00:28:35,920 He wants to check if we have a defibrillator. 450 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,580 There's quite a few dietary requirements. 451 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,900 May I help, Mr. Wallace? 452 00:28:44,519 --> 00:28:45,519 Ah. 453 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,400 Yes. 454 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:48,720 Hold on. 455 00:28:49,319 --> 00:28:52,620 Could someone fix the curtain rail in my room? 456 00:28:52,660 --> 00:28:54,860 It seems to have come down in the night. 457 00:28:54,980 --> 00:28:55,980 Of course, sir. 458 00:28:56,299 --> 00:28:57,299 Much obliged. 459 00:28:57,460 --> 00:28:59,039 Oh, what's this? The weekend guest list? 460 00:28:59,039 --> 00:29:00,480 This should be interesting. 461 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,240 Man. 462 00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:05,900 Oliver Mills. 463 00:29:06,059 --> 00:29:07,960 He's probably claiming a trendy intolerance. 464 00:29:10,599 --> 00:29:11,599 Angina. 465 00:29:13,349 --> 00:29:17,649 With its promise of aristocratic splendor and a degree of luxury 466 00:29:17,649 --> 00:29:21,909 that approaches debauchery, Swafford attracts a motley caravan of 467 00:29:21,909 --> 00:29:26,269 tight-arsed bourgeois and nervous bohemians who roll up the 468 00:29:26,269 --> 00:29:30,529 driveway misusing the word weekend as a verb and wondering how 469 00:29:30,529 --> 00:29:35,349 soon they might send an underling down into Swafford's world-class wine cellar. 470 00:29:37,589 --> 00:29:41,409 Madame Valerie Richmond and Mademoiselle Clarke. 471 00:29:43,349 --> 00:29:46,929 Well, who is this charmingly high-breasted and fiercely 472 00:29:46,929 --> 00:29:50,349 fuckable creature with an air of contemptuous indifference? 473 00:29:50,949 --> 00:29:52,689 Bonjour, madame. 474 00:29:52,829 --> 00:29:53,829 Merci. 475 00:29:53,909 --> 00:29:54,909 My bags. 476 00:29:55,449 --> 00:29:56,449 Ted Wallace. 477 00:29:56,990 --> 00:29:59,129 Oh, I thought you were a servant. 478 00:29:59,569 --> 00:30:00,569 No. 479 00:30:00,889 --> 00:30:01,889 A poet. 480 00:30:02,009 --> 00:30:03,009 Oh. 481 00:30:03,609 --> 00:30:05,750 And Michael's oldest friend. 482 00:30:07,029 --> 00:30:08,029 Of course. 483 00:30:08,849 --> 00:30:09,849 Avant qu'il avait bon goût. 484 00:30:12,309 --> 00:30:14,009 Also, David's godfather. 485 00:30:14,609 --> 00:30:17,269 I'm responsible for his spiritual development. 486 00:30:18,429 --> 00:30:19,429 You are? 487 00:30:20,549 --> 00:30:22,069 This is my daughter, Clara. 488 00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:25,169 Maybe you and her can be friends. 489 00:30:26,529 --> 00:30:28,709 Ah, and you must, of course, be David. 490 00:30:29,089 --> 00:30:31,589 Jane has told me everything about you. 491 00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:34,049 I have been looking forward to meeting you. 492 00:30:35,809 --> 00:30:38,730 From the presumably fragrant loin of Madame 493 00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:42,269 Valerie had sprung a daughter most woundingly plain. 494 00:30:42,730 --> 00:30:45,609 I had no sure knowledge of her paternal lineage, but I 495 00:30:45,609 --> 00:30:48,629 would hazard a guess that this snaggled-toothed myopic 496 00:30:48,629 --> 00:30:52,109 hobbit may have been conceived on a visit to Middle Earth. 497 00:30:53,029 --> 00:30:54,969 Nature can be unbearably cruel. 498 00:31:00,090 --> 00:31:03,590 Regrettably, I was about to be thrust into my worst nightmare, 499 00:31:04,190 --> 00:31:08,269 having to spend an entire weekend with one of my oldest friends, 500 00:31:08,809 --> 00:31:13,430 the celebrated theater director and prolific buggerist, Oliver Mills. 501 00:31:14,370 --> 00:31:16,549 I certainly find that violence is the answer. 502 00:31:16,890 --> 00:31:17,890 Jesus, Oliver! 503 00:31:18,390 --> 00:31:20,809 Did Michael not attach a security memo to your invitation? 504 00:31:20,830 --> 00:31:21,830 No. 505 00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:23,250 In fact, I'm probably on it. 506 00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:24,590 Would you? 507 00:31:25,529 --> 00:31:28,289 Oh, poor pompous hippopotamus. 508 00:31:31,159 --> 00:31:34,159 Has his lordship not made you the most welcome of guests? 509 00:31:34,259 --> 00:31:35,940 Actually, I'm here to see David. 510 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,359 -Oh. -You know. 511 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,000 Dear, what is it? 512 00:31:41,059 --> 00:31:42,299 -What ills you? -You can tell me. 513 00:31:42,619 --> 00:31:43,619 Ills? 514 00:31:43,619 --> 00:31:44,619 He's my godson. 515 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:45,680 What do you mean? 516 00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:50,170 Oh, is that the clitter-clatter of cutlery on China? 517 00:31:50,769 --> 00:31:51,769 Let's not be late for lunch. 518 00:31:52,690 --> 00:31:55,430 Hopefully it was the sound of the plot thickening. 519 00:31:55,869 --> 00:31:58,849 I was going to have to start making some meaningful progress or 520 00:31:58,849 --> 00:32:03,349 risk spending the entire summer in the company of these Camarades. 521 00:32:03,970 --> 00:32:08,230 I hear you've had a particularly successful year with Vestad. 522 00:32:08,750 --> 00:32:11,910 Well, yes, finally we had some good results at Higstead. 523 00:32:12,190 --> 00:32:13,190 Thanks to him. 524 00:32:13,470 --> 00:32:15,710 I'm particularly proud of our woodlands. 525 00:32:15,710 --> 00:32:17,009 All native species. 526 00:32:18,009 --> 00:32:20,250 What's the kind of green that only the British can bear? 527 00:32:20,589 --> 00:32:24,109 Oh, if you don't like the countryside, what brings you to Swafford? 528 00:32:24,930 --> 00:32:27,150 I am purchasing lilac for my daughter. 529 00:32:27,890 --> 00:32:28,890 Lilac? 530 00:32:29,109 --> 00:32:30,670 Lilac, our grey mare. 531 00:32:30,869 --> 00:32:32,549 I've been taking writing lessons. 532 00:32:33,349 --> 00:32:35,950 Yes, and we can go down and see her at the stables after lunch. 533 00:32:36,349 --> 00:32:38,130 You can help me mark out if you like. 534 00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:41,029 I would like that very much. 535 00:32:41,990 --> 00:32:44,089 A hunchback who now also shovels shit. 536 00:32:44,669 --> 00:32:45,669 Quelle fortune. 537 00:32:46,549 --> 00:32:47,549 Don't slouch. 538 00:32:48,430 --> 00:32:49,430 If you'll excuse me. 539 00:32:50,849 --> 00:32:52,390 I'm dying for some of that. 540 00:32:52,650 --> 00:32:53,990 Not just figuratively. 541 00:32:55,769 --> 00:32:56,769 You know. 542 00:32:57,849 --> 00:33:01,190 Pod nysereth, pod nysereth, pod montereth, Ted Wallace. 543 00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,410 Is that why you're here? 544 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:12,279 No, no, I've got a delicious new play, 545 00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:14,779 which Michael is going to fund. 546 00:33:15,319 --> 00:33:16,319 Am I? 547 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,280 Has anyone seen David? 548 00:33:31,369 --> 00:33:35,969 Child of Trees and Son of Earth Lies in wait for his 549 00:33:36,409 --> 00:33:40,929 rebirth Beneath the trees he hides alone Beneath your 550 00:33:40,929 --> 00:33:46,509 feet, this boy unknown Lies in his cradle, hidden from 551 00:33:46,509 --> 00:33:51,809 sight Buried like seed, his seed so white He gives 552 00:33:51,809 --> 00:33:54,990 himself the kiss of peace His seed doth 553 00:33:54,990 --> 00:34:00,409 sprout with sweet release Well, fuck me 554 00:34:02,950 --> 00:34:05,809 Gosh, I'd like you to keep it. 555 00:34:06,769 --> 00:34:07,769 Lovely. 556 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:12,840 Has mommy spoken to you about me? 557 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:14,260 Why do you ask that? 558 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:15,960 I worry her. 559 00:34:16,559 --> 00:34:17,900 I can see it in her eyes. 560 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:19,800 Mothers worry. 561 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,119 It's in their job description. 562 00:34:22,019 --> 00:34:23,679 Well, I worry her more than Simon. 563 00:34:23,980 --> 00:34:27,420 Simon doesn't treat strangers to nuggets of penile data. 564 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:28,440 He's safe. 565 00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,940 Meaning I'm unsafe. 566 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:31,239 I should bloody well hope so. 567 00:34:31,699 --> 00:34:33,780 I'm not having a godson of mine running around the 568 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:36,139 place being anything other than wild and dangerous. 569 00:34:39,519 --> 00:34:42,039 Why are people embarrassed about sexual things? 570 00:34:42,619 --> 00:34:43,619 I'm not. 571 00:34:43,759 --> 00:34:48,699 In my opinion, people are more embarrassed about love than sex. 572 00:34:49,139 --> 00:34:50,139 What makes you think that? 573 00:34:50,679 --> 00:34:52,019 They never talk about it. 574 00:34:52,179 --> 00:34:53,579 It's all anyone ever talks about. 575 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,079 Love, love, love. 576 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:57,339 Love is all you need. Love makes the world go round. 577 00:34:57,599 --> 00:34:59,639 90% of the world's poetry is about love. 578 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:05,719 With swift, slow, sweet, sour, 579 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,639 a dazzle, dim, 580 00:35:07,639 --> 00:35:12,460 he fathers forth whose beauty is past change. 581 00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:13,819 Praise him. 582 00:35:14,159 --> 00:35:15,199 Oh, God. 583 00:35:15,799 --> 00:35:17,980 Of course you like Hopkins. 584 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:22,579 The greats know that poetry is how we 585 00:35:22,579 --> 00:35:24,599 allow nature to speak to us. 586 00:35:24,679 --> 00:35:25,679 Wordsworth... 587 00:35:25,679 --> 00:35:27,079 No, you chump. 588 00:35:27,619 --> 00:35:28,940 My heart leaps up. 589 00:35:29,059 --> 00:35:30,779 On my couch, I lie. 590 00:35:30,940 --> 00:35:32,539 I wandered lonely as a cloud. 591 00:35:32,659 --> 00:35:34,779 He's an egomaniacal onanist. 592 00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:36,920 Wordsworth did not masturbate. 593 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,619 He's a fucking tea-towel writer. 594 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,660 Look, young pup, my heart rejoices that you want to be a 595 00:35:47,660 --> 00:35:50,120 poet, but I bet you can't name a profession with less 596 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:54,000 use, less chance, less point, less status and fewer prospects. 597 00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:55,660 Sewage engineer. 598 00:35:56,060 --> 00:35:57,060 Ah. 599 00:35:57,060 --> 00:35:58,060 All right. 600 00:35:58,640 --> 00:35:59,640 Scenario one. 601 00:36:00,140 --> 00:36:04,900 All the poets in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland go on strike. 602 00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:06,539 Impact, nil. 603 00:36:06,980 --> 00:36:08,420 Misery, nil. 604 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:10,840 14 years before anyone even notices. 605 00:36:11,539 --> 00:36:12,539 Scenario two. 606 00:36:12,539 --> 00:36:16,660 All the sewage engineers in London alone go on strike. 607 00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:20,400 Impact, turds and tampons flopping out of your tap. 608 00:36:20,780 --> 00:36:23,120 Scum and ooze where'er you walk. 609 00:36:23,539 --> 00:36:26,800 Misery, hardship, newsworthiness, high. 610 00:36:29,599 --> 00:36:33,360 You do still believe in poetry and 611 00:36:34,039 --> 00:36:35,839 its power to change the world. 612 00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:38,119 You do still care. 613 00:36:38,319 --> 00:36:40,000 Oh, Christ, not you as well. 614 00:36:45,099 --> 00:36:46,500 Of course I do. 615 00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:49,759 It's just hard work. 616 00:36:50,539 --> 00:36:53,759 You want gold, you break your back down a mine. 617 00:36:53,839 --> 00:36:56,980 It doesn't just float from the sky gleaming bars. 618 00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:04,500 All right 619 00:37:07,930 --> 00:37:12,510 Gran, all this talk of poetry has awoken my appetite. 620 00:37:13,070 --> 00:37:16,530 Time for a second stanza of your mother's cream cake. 621 00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:29,500 ♪ 622 00:37:30,199 --> 00:37:31,219 I'll put the kettle on. 623 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,360 Another bath? 624 00:37:43,619 --> 00:37:47,139 My center of gravity has shifted since my last time in a cocksless pair. 625 00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:48,599 You found David, then? 626 00:37:48,659 --> 00:37:50,579 Yes, and read some of his poetry. 627 00:37:50,679 --> 00:37:52,079 I've got some of it here, in fact. 628 00:37:52,759 --> 00:37:57,259 He seems, in his own graceful way, to have been recording a wank in the woods. 629 00:37:57,339 --> 00:37:59,239 -Any good? -On the poetry or the wank? 630 00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:01,019 -Ted. -You know if he does it much. 631 00:38:01,159 --> 00:38:02,159 Oh, please. 632 00:38:02,219 --> 00:38:05,219 Look, my love, you asked me to keep an eye on him, and I have. 633 00:38:05,659 --> 00:38:07,119 And if wanking's what he's doing... 634 00:38:07,119 --> 00:38:09,420 There are certain things a mother doesn't need to know about in full. 635 00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:12,519 I understand, but I'm not being prurient just for the pleasure of it. 636 00:38:12,900 --> 00:38:15,699 I spent most of my life skipping after women like a puppy 637 00:38:15,699 --> 00:38:19,219 trying to please his master, and the rest, pleasing myself. 638 00:38:19,279 --> 00:38:20,279 And that's fine. 639 00:38:20,319 --> 00:38:21,519 I'm a heartier fellow for it. 640 00:38:21,659 --> 00:38:25,759 But if your son is writing metaphysical art spunk, and not simply 641 00:38:25,759 --> 00:38:30,119 filling soft fabrics with human hand cream, then there is a problem. 642 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,360 Which is? 643 00:38:31,819 --> 00:38:34,259 Mum, I think you should come to the stables quickly. 644 00:38:35,159 --> 00:38:36,159 Lilac's sick. 645 00:38:37,339 --> 00:38:38,339 Oh, shit. 646 00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:53,500 ♪ 647 00:38:55,050 --> 00:38:56,490 He must do something. 648 00:38:56,810 --> 00:38:58,650 Yeah, well, I'm sure he will. 649 00:38:58,769 --> 00:39:00,170 But first, we have to find the little fellow. 650 00:39:00,590 --> 00:39:01,590 Don't you have faith? 651 00:39:02,010 --> 00:39:04,110 Faith's great, but it'd be nice to have a super- 652 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,000 ♪ 653 00:39:12,450 --> 00:39:15,210 This is a rather drastic course of action, don't you think? 654 00:39:15,810 --> 00:39:17,150 She was fine yesterday. 655 00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:18,730 It's fast acting. 656 00:39:18,810 --> 00:39:20,150 She'll have complete renal failure. 657 00:39:21,490 --> 00:39:23,310 There's no ragwork in her field. 658 00:39:24,150 --> 00:39:26,530 And do you have another explanation for the blood in her stool? 659 00:39:27,170 --> 00:39:29,990 No, but it's not an explanation for the blood in her spittle. 660 00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:33,599 I'm sorry, Clara. 661 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,219 I think we're going to have to put Lila down. 662 00:39:37,519 --> 00:39:38,519 get to ride her. 663 00:39:40,039 --> 00:39:41,039 Come on. 664 00:39:41,219 --> 00:39:42,260 Let's go back to the house. 665 00:39:47,349 --> 00:39:48,349 I'm so sorry. 666 00:39:48,670 --> 00:39:49,989 I'm afraid this is just very bad timing. 667 00:39:50,949 --> 00:39:52,769 But there is a chance that she will recover. 668 00:39:52,989 --> 00:39:56,750 It's a sadness, yes, but Anne has a lot of experience. 669 00:39:57,029 --> 00:39:59,389 We need time for a miracle. 670 00:40:00,409 --> 00:40:03,750 Hercule Poirot could probably take a cursory glance at this 671 00:40:03,750 --> 00:40:07,730 group and glean all sorts of useful ammunition for his denouement. 672 00:40:08,210 --> 00:40:13,610 But if any of this amounts to any sort of clue, it's absolutely wasted on me. 673 00:40:13,869 --> 00:40:15,630 I think you're being very premature. 674 00:40:16,949 --> 00:40:18,730 Anne, would you...? 675 00:40:18,730 --> 00:40:20,309 David, don't touch her. 676 00:40:21,150 --> 00:40:22,150 Don't. 677 00:40:22,429 --> 00:40:24,869 A sick horse can be very dangerous. 678 00:40:25,009 --> 00:40:26,009 Come on, come down. 679 00:40:28,349 --> 00:40:29,389 What happened? 680 00:40:30,130 --> 00:40:31,170 I'll explain in a moment. 681 00:40:31,349 --> 00:40:34,389 What was happening was the Logans discovering they had no 682 00:40:34,389 --> 00:40:37,909 stomach for mercy killing a sickly horse and yet were possessed 683 00:40:37,909 --> 00:40:42,630 of a seemingly limitless capacity for procrastination and indecisiveness. 684 00:40:42,849 --> 00:40:44,690 Maybe we should come back tomorrow and 685 00:40:44,690 --> 00:40:47,269 we'll reassess it and see what she's like now. 686 00:40:48,250 --> 00:40:49,250 Thank you. 687 00:40:50,409 --> 00:40:51,409 Right. 688 00:40:51,969 --> 00:40:53,829 Perhaps some drinks before dinner. 689 00:40:54,549 --> 00:40:55,549 Yes, perhaps several. 690 00:41:07,849 --> 00:41:09,650 I got the idea from the playwright. 691 00:41:10,150 --> 00:41:11,650 Met him in Venice on my last trip. 692 00:41:11,869 --> 00:41:15,670 Is there a point or are you merely recounting a selection of random events? 693 00:41:16,110 --> 00:41:17,110 Oh, heart. 694 00:41:17,569 --> 00:41:18,610 Now, where was I? 695 00:41:19,069 --> 00:41:20,069 Oh, yes. 696 00:41:20,610 --> 00:41:23,389 Gianni had the most enormous... 697 00:41:23,389 --> 00:41:24,509 Oh, my God. 698 00:41:26,929 --> 00:41:27,929 -C-K. 699 00:41:28,869 --> 00:41:30,949 And he was afraid he might hurt me. 700 00:41:31,829 --> 00:41:34,170 Gianni, darling, I said, fear not. 701 00:41:34,309 --> 00:41:37,670 After what I've been through, you'll be lucky if it touches the sides. 702 00:41:38,670 --> 00:41:41,309 It'll be like pushing a paper boat up the Grand Canal. 703 00:41:44,069 --> 00:41:46,589 This is not language for when children are present. 704 00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:48,750 Oh, prude la la, they know. 705 00:41:48,989 --> 00:41:49,989 There's two options. 706 00:41:50,269 --> 00:41:52,869 One, we let Oliver rattle on home about his various 707 00:41:52,869 --> 00:41:55,650 exploits and the occasional ear gets singed, or 708 00:41:55,650 --> 00:41:59,569 two, we let the kids work it out entirely for themselves. 709 00:41:59,730 --> 00:42:03,650 I just don't understand every person's obsession with sex. 710 00:42:03,650 --> 00:42:04,670 Not an obsession. 711 00:42:04,849 --> 00:42:05,849 It's the meaning of life. 712 00:42:05,889 --> 00:42:07,769 Well, there is something that children can 713 00:42:07,769 --> 00:42:10,230 learn with help, and that is good manners. 714 00:42:10,449 --> 00:42:11,509 David, help with the plates. 715 00:42:11,650 --> 00:42:12,650 -Yes, Mama. -Clara? 716 00:42:19,110 --> 00:42:20,730 Will you tell us the story, Oliver? 717 00:42:21,050 --> 00:42:22,510 Oh, I thought you'd never ask, Michael. 718 00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:26,470 Well, the story is about a-his-luck gigolo 719 00:42:26,470 --> 00:42:30,410 who gets a job playing alto sax on a cruise ship. 720 00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:32,630 But what he's really doing... 721 00:42:32,630 --> 00:42:33,630 Oliver, stop. 722 00:42:34,470 --> 00:42:35,490 Not a chance. 723 00:42:36,809 --> 00:42:37,869 Not a penny. 724 00:42:38,889 --> 00:42:44,570 Well, if we can't drink to my play, let's drink to Lilac. 725 00:42:47,650 --> 00:42:50,889 May she have her miracle. 726 00:42:51,210 --> 00:42:52,970 Yes, to Lilac. 727 00:42:53,110 --> 00:42:55,710 The same toast they'll be making tomorrow night at the 728 00:42:55,710 --> 00:42:59,389 glue factory as her bones render noxiously in the background. 729 00:42:59,590 --> 00:43:00,590 To miracles. 730 00:43:05,190 --> 00:43:06,809 Unlike you, to forsake a drink? 731 00:43:07,090 --> 00:43:08,829 You don't seriously expect me to join 732 00:43:08,829 --> 00:43:11,389 you in a wine-soaked prayer for a miracle. 733 00:43:11,650 --> 00:43:12,730 Is that so ridiculous? 734 00:43:13,130 --> 00:43:14,210 It's fluff. 735 00:43:14,829 --> 00:43:16,590 Miracles are phenomena that we're too 736 00:43:16,590 --> 00:43:19,130 frightened, or in my case, too lazy, to understand. 737 00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:22,670 But nothing miraculous ever actually happens. 738 00:43:23,570 --> 00:43:26,650 And certainly no one is ever healed. 739 00:43:27,030 --> 00:43:28,210 You don't believe in healing? 740 00:43:28,530 --> 00:43:32,030 You can correct a mechanical fault, but 741 00:43:32,030 --> 00:43:36,050 nothing can be truly cured or made whole. 742 00:43:37,329 --> 00:43:38,610 Everything rots. 743 00:43:39,869 --> 00:43:41,929 And that's the beastly, bloody end of it. 744 00:43:42,949 --> 00:43:45,849 Would anyone like a comforting chamomile? 745 00:43:47,449 --> 00:43:51,449 I think Tedward and I might have a chat over something a bit stronger. 746 00:43:51,789 --> 00:43:55,150 So I was sent here to investigate miracles and 747 00:43:55,150 --> 00:43:58,070 have now been induced to refute their very existence. 748 00:43:58,789 --> 00:44:00,630 More than a coincidence, I fancy. 749 00:44:00,630 --> 00:44:04,690 I'm beginning to feel like doubting Thomas on a certain Easter morning. 750 00:44:05,690 --> 00:44:09,190 What follows, you will never discuss with anyone. 751 00:44:11,010 --> 00:44:15,010 My father came to this country from Massachusetts in 1936. 752 00:44:16,230 --> 00:44:18,150 When the war came, he enlisted and 753 00:44:18,150 --> 00:44:20,469 trained as an engineering officer in the RAF. 754 00:44:21,769 --> 00:44:24,489 Later that year, a young man came round the base. 755 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,969 His father had a metal splinter in his foot. 756 00:44:28,409 --> 00:44:29,510 It was gangrenous. 757 00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:34,170 The boy knew the doctor would amputate and he asked my father for help. 758 00:44:35,190 --> 00:44:39,349 My father touched the foot, the splinter came out, and the wound healed. 759 00:44:39,710 --> 00:44:40,710 Instantly? 760 00:44:40,710 --> 00:44:41,710 Yes. 761 00:44:41,750 --> 00:44:44,750 I don't want to spoil the story, but that could have happened by chance. 762 00:44:44,989 --> 00:44:46,170 That was just the first time. 763 00:44:47,090 --> 00:44:49,849 A few more miracles, and people began to talk. 764 00:44:50,829 --> 00:44:52,570 By the end of the war, he was being hounded. 765 00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:53,690 It was intolerable. 766 00:44:53,710 --> 00:44:54,769 That was another time. 767 00:44:54,909 --> 00:44:56,590 It was 70 years ago, Ted. 768 00:44:57,049 --> 00:44:58,130 Not the Middle Ages. 769 00:44:59,090 --> 00:45:00,389 I never had a gift. 770 00:45:00,550 --> 00:45:03,730 I guess it skipped a generation. 771 00:45:03,909 --> 00:45:05,929 It's a childhood fairy tale. 772 00:45:08,170 --> 00:45:09,170 Anne has asthma. 773 00:45:10,230 --> 00:45:12,630 Do you remember that hot summer four or five years ago? 774 00:45:13,630 --> 00:45:17,130 David and I were out one afternoon and she suffered a terrible attack. 775 00:45:21,909 --> 00:45:26,250 Simon was there doing CPR like he'd been taught, but 776 00:45:26,250 --> 00:45:31,969 it wasn't working We got back David heard the commotion 777 00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,559 rushed in, pushed his brother aside and placed his 778 00:45:38,559 --> 00:45:41,260 hands on his mother's chest and she began to breathe. 779 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,099 You're saying David saved her life. 780 00:45:45,539 --> 00:45:46,539 Healed. 781 00:45:47,180 --> 00:45:48,599 Not another attack since. 782 00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:53,119 It's like Stephen Hawking announcing he still believes in Santa Claus. 783 00:45:53,780 --> 00:45:56,300 I don't mind my old friends turning into venal 784 00:45:56,300 --> 00:45:59,360 assholes, but it's rather unnerving when they go crazy. 785 00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:01,099 Jane came to stay with us at Easter. 786 00:46:03,099 --> 00:46:06,239 The leukemia had taken hold and the doctors had 787 00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,900 given her three weeks to live she wanted to spend 788 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:11,599 them somewhere peaceful She took to her bed the moment. 789 00:46:11,659 --> 00:46:13,619 She arrived the end of the first week. 790 00:46:13,659 --> 00:46:17,639 She began to look better The second week she thought she'd get 791 00:46:17,639 --> 00:46:21,839 up the third week entirely cured David 792 00:46:21,839 --> 00:46:24,079 had been with her every day. 793 00:46:24,179 --> 00:46:28,839 There just must be a rational explanation David's hands heal. 794 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,619 I've seen it with my own eyes But I'm at a loss we're 795 00:46:32,619 --> 00:46:35,019 private people we don't make a fuss but this feels big 796 00:46:35,539 --> 00:46:40,019 important Do I hide it like a curse or shout it from the rooftops? 797 00:46:40,420 --> 00:46:41,920 Why in the name of dysfunction? 798 00:46:42,059 --> 00:46:43,440 Are you asking me yesterday? 799 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:48,779 You made a big fuss about being David's godfather Earn the title 800 00:46:49,500 --> 00:46:53,000 ♪ 801 00:46:56,500 --> 00:47:01,500 ♪ 802 00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:06,750 ♪ 803 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:12,000 ♪ 804 00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:17,250 ♪ 805 00:47:17,500 --> 00:47:21,000 ♪ 806 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:27,000 ♪ 807 00:47:27,250 --> 00:47:29,500 ♪ 808 00:47:39,550 --> 00:47:44,570 There was an old poet called Ted who was in well over his head. 809 00:47:45,350 --> 00:47:47,570 He struggled to think why he shouldn't 810 00:47:47,570 --> 00:47:51,730 just drink and collapse arseholed into his bed. 811 00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:57,500 ♪ 812 00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:59,000 ♪ 813 00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:04,000 ♪ 814 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:12,000 ♪ 815 00:48:12,250 --> 00:48:16,500 ♪ 816 00:48:24,849 --> 00:48:25,849 Oh, lilac. 817 00:48:27,069 --> 00:48:28,190 Brought you an apple. 818 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:46,500 ♪ 819 00:48:53,500 --> 00:48:54,500 Yeah. 820 00:48:56,220 --> 00:48:57,280 Go away. 821 00:48:59,460 --> 00:49:00,460 Alleluia! 822 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:02,280 Alleluia! 823 00:49:02,580 --> 00:49:03,580 Alleluia! 824 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,720 -Alleluia! -Oh, what's got into you? 825 00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:08,519 Lilac is well. 826 00:49:09,340 --> 00:49:12,420 There are more things in heaven and earth to date you. 827 00:49:13,460 --> 00:49:14,620 You have heard. 828 00:49:15,220 --> 00:49:17,500 J'ai bien entendu, ma vieille orange. 829 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,060 Oh, my old maid, come in. 830 00:49:20,180 --> 00:49:22,000 Why did you ask Podmore to? 831 00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,980 If lilac is cured, then maybe Clara can be made beautiful. 832 00:49:28,019 --> 00:49:29,500 Where are you off to now? 833 00:49:29,740 --> 00:49:30,740 To find David. 834 00:49:31,460 --> 00:49:32,720 Lilac didn't cure herself. 835 00:49:38,199 --> 00:49:39,199 Oh, Christ. 836 00:49:39,639 --> 00:49:40,639 Wait! 837 00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:42,839 There is nothing to put me in a foul mood 838 00:49:42,839 --> 00:49:45,339 more effectively than seeing Oliver happy. 839 00:49:45,759 --> 00:49:48,439 But the realization that I had slept through some 840 00:49:48,439 --> 00:49:51,579 kind of miraculous occurrence ran a close second. 841 00:49:52,639 --> 00:49:56,679 David was yet to claim Lilac's recovery as his handiwork, but the 842 00:49:56,679 --> 00:50:00,960 notion hung in the air above Swafford like a piss-filled Hindenburg. 843 00:50:02,579 --> 00:50:04,099 I need to find your brother. 844 00:50:04,259 --> 00:50:05,259 I haven't seen him. 845 00:50:05,319 --> 00:50:06,319 Pop in. 846 00:50:06,319 --> 00:50:07,319 We'll cover more ground. 847 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,379 We'll cover more ground. 848 00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:14,500 ♪ 849 00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,740 What do you think happened with Lilo? 850 00:50:21,039 --> 00:50:22,240 I always check her field. 851 00:50:22,260 --> 00:50:23,260 There isn't any ragwort. 852 00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:24,400 Yes, I heard you with the vet. 853 00:50:24,539 --> 00:50:26,840 No ragwort, no cure, no explanation. 854 00:50:27,180 --> 00:50:29,480 St. David has swapped it at his magic hand. 855 00:50:30,180 --> 00:50:31,180 Shit! 856 00:50:31,539 --> 00:50:34,160 Stop this fucking motorized hair dryer! 857 00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:42,500 ♪ 858 00:50:42,750 --> 00:50:47,750 ♪ 859 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,000 ♪ 860 00:50:59,099 --> 00:51:00,159 Hi, David. 861 00:51:00,900 --> 00:51:01,900 Hello, Oliver. 862 00:51:02,139 --> 00:51:04,099 What about this laying on of hands? 863 00:51:04,900 --> 00:51:05,900 Dunno. 864 00:51:06,099 --> 00:51:07,519 You're not in the miracle camp. 865 00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:09,400 Sorry. 866 00:51:13,099 --> 00:51:14,839 Have you ever seen him do it? 867 00:51:15,779 --> 00:51:16,920 Once, on Mum. 868 00:51:17,179 --> 00:51:18,179 What happened? 869 00:51:18,219 --> 00:51:21,400 David put his hands on her and she got better. 870 00:51:21,679 --> 00:51:23,719 No flashing lights, angelic chorus? 871 00:51:25,059 --> 00:51:26,179 She just came to. 872 00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,099 I need to see for myself. 873 00:51:29,779 --> 00:51:32,940 Fucking Jane and her seeing what needs to be seen. 874 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,539 Where the hell have you been? 875 00:51:45,559 --> 00:51:47,320 Pull yourself together Ted. 876 00:51:48,099 --> 00:51:52,860 Existential crises are for wankers and characters in Scandinavian films. 877 00:51:54,579 --> 00:51:56,579 I told you to look after David. 878 00:51:56,900 --> 00:51:58,159 He's nowhere to be found. 879 00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:01,179 That fucking horse has put the cat among the fucking pigeons. 880 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:02,599 It's my father all over again. 881 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:04,559 -It's in hand. -You have my word. 882 00:52:04,679 --> 00:52:05,800 Which is worth what exactly? 883 00:52:05,820 --> 00:52:06,820 What it's for. 884 00:52:09,250 --> 00:52:10,389 Hello boys. 885 00:52:11,309 --> 00:52:12,309 You're looking well. 886 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:15,900 Ugh! 887 00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,420 -Ugh! -Fucking magic! 888 00:52:19,570 --> 00:52:20,639 Oh, forget him. 889 00:52:21,420 --> 00:52:23,420 He's too jaded to feel wonder. 890 00:52:24,519 --> 00:52:25,519 Whereas you... 891 00:52:25,940 --> 00:52:28,980 You have the power to change the world. 892 00:52:39,379 --> 00:52:40,379 Clara's up next. 893 00:52:41,279 --> 00:52:42,519 I'll find him. 894 00:52:44,500 --> 00:52:47,500 ♪ 895 00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:53,139 Oliver was gloating over his own cure. 896 00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:57,480 Now our fearless teenage leader was sneaking off to find Clara. 897 00:53:00,130 --> 00:53:03,849 If young St. David could transform Valerie's unlovely 898 00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:08,309 offspring into some new-age Aphrodite, that was 899 00:53:08,309 --> 00:53:10,110 a miracle I had to see. 900 00:53:10,349 --> 00:53:12,130 David, it's Uncle Ted. 901 00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:32,699 With a steam whistle, replaced by the 902 00:53:32,699 --> 00:53:35,199 turgid sound of diesel, and now electric trains. 903 00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,760 Mr. Wallace, I'm looking for David. 904 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,800 One of the great undertakings of our age. 905 00:53:50,059 --> 00:53:51,339 What the hell was that? 906 00:53:51,859 --> 00:53:53,079 I hear nothing, sir. 907 00:53:53,159 --> 00:53:56,439 Don't tell me the last bastion of sanity of 908 00:53:56,439 --> 00:53:59,519 this house is abandoning his faculties, too. 909 00:54:00,019 --> 00:54:04,159 The greater the discretion, the larger the tip. 910 00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:10,500 ♪ 911 00:54:10,650 --> 00:54:12,670 Do you know where David is? 912 00:54:14,070 --> 00:54:15,170 Oh, come on, John. 913 00:54:15,269 --> 00:54:17,410 I know you see everything that goes on around here. 914 00:54:17,990 --> 00:54:19,030 He's a bugger for hiding. 915 00:54:19,289 --> 00:54:20,289 Go on. 916 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,139 Frequently doesn't sleep in his bed, never 917 00:54:25,139 --> 00:54:27,059 leaves by the door when there's the option of a window. 918 00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:31,559 In fact, he must spend most nights out in the grounds. 919 00:54:32,639 --> 00:54:33,920 But where? 920 00:54:34,940 --> 00:54:37,500 I licked the grass, licked it clean. 921 00:54:38,180 --> 00:54:42,000 Clean grass is hay, gold hay for the flesh. 922 00:54:42,700 --> 00:54:45,900 I hugged the leaves, squeezed their green. 923 00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:50,300 Squeezed sap is blood, and blood must be fresh. 924 00:54:51,340 --> 00:54:54,300 So is seed, seed of my own. 925 00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:56,160 Oh, hello Valerie. 926 00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:01,500 ♪ 927 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:04,800 Ugh. 928 00:55:24,599 --> 00:55:25,599 Oh, God. 929 00:55:54,510 --> 00:55:58,269 If you let the spirit in, it will heal you. 930 00:56:01,780 --> 00:56:04,000 Feel the spirit surging through you. 931 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:05,619 You must embrace it. 932 00:56:06,300 --> 00:56:07,320 Drain it, yes. 933 00:56:08,079 --> 00:56:09,079 That's right. 934 00:56:09,099 --> 00:56:10,260 -Drain it. -No! 935 00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:11,820 -Yes. -No! -Let her go! 936 00:56:12,139 --> 00:56:13,139 Let her go! 937 00:56:15,980 --> 00:56:18,660 Come on, we can't have you going into the house looking like this. 938 00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:20,380 Let's get you cleaned up. Oh, she bit me! 939 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,780 I'm sorry that you can't leave me! 940 00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:24,860 Physicist, heal thyself. 941 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:26,980 So much for the modern miracle. 942 00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:31,660 I don't recall St. Francis of Assisi ejaculating into anybody's mouth. 943 00:56:32,380 --> 00:56:34,500 Maybe they just left that part out. 944 00:56:35,059 --> 00:56:36,559 Uncle Ted, she bit me! 945 00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:38,059 Are all your cures like that? 946 00:56:40,039 --> 00:56:41,039 Don't talk. 947 00:56:41,519 --> 00:56:42,760 Don't say a word. 948 00:56:43,639 --> 00:56:44,639 Can you stand? 949 00:56:45,340 --> 00:56:46,460 Come on. 950 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,860 It's easier for the old to judge the young. 951 00:56:50,039 --> 00:56:53,119 And I'll admit it's been particularly hard to warm 952 00:56:53,119 --> 00:56:56,480 to David with his crooked sweaters and soggy sonnets. 953 00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,680 But the truth is that this boy is my godson. 954 00:57:00,220 --> 00:57:03,280 I may be unreliable when it comes to fonts and silver 955 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:07,019 napkin rings, but when I saw him suffering a catastrophic 956 00:57:07,019 --> 00:57:11,500 sex disaster, I did feel a twinge of the old esprit de corps. 957 00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:14,400 I never was a boy scout, and I certainly don't 958 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,840 do a good deed every day, but one whopper every 959 00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:21,940 15 years surely must earn me a badge of some kind. 960 00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:23,039 Mr. Lennox. 961 00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:26,539 Mr. Lennox. 962 00:57:30,900 --> 00:57:32,380 Oh, yes. 963 00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:34,160 Yes. 964 00:57:35,300 --> 00:57:40,019 Can you tell me the nature of your relationship with David? 965 00:57:42,820 --> 00:57:44,920 Some days good, some days bad. 966 00:57:46,340 --> 00:57:48,119 You are the boy's father? 967 00:57:49,019 --> 00:57:50,059 For my sins. 968 00:57:50,700 --> 00:57:55,059 Then perhaps you can explain why David said to me, the pain got 969 00:57:55,059 --> 00:57:57,660 much worse in the car, partly because 970 00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:01,820 Uncle Ted is a terrible driver. 971 00:58:03,519 --> 00:58:06,880 I'm glad to say it's rare for a child to be 972 00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:09,760 admitted with human bite marks to the penis. 973 00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:16,180 Even rarer for the hysterical boy to be accompanied by a famous public figure. 974 00:58:20,150 --> 00:58:24,510 Well, if you knew who I was, why didn't you say? 975 00:58:24,730 --> 00:58:26,990 I think you'd better tell me who David's parents are. 976 00:58:27,090 --> 00:58:28,610 I'd like to talk to David. 977 00:58:28,769 --> 00:58:31,889 I don't think the police will allow you to do any such thing. 978 00:58:32,110 --> 00:58:33,110 Police? 979 00:58:33,110 --> 00:58:35,670 You're in a position of authority, Mr. Wallace. 980 00:58:35,970 --> 00:58:37,289 Let's be grown-ups, shall we? 981 00:58:37,789 --> 00:58:42,190 This is just a pair of lovers suffering an unfortunate mishap. 982 00:58:42,289 --> 00:58:46,070 This may pass for acceptable in your bohemian world, but... 983 00:58:46,070 --> 00:58:47,849 I have a boy David's age. 984 00:58:47,849 --> 00:58:50,570 If this happened to him, do you think I'd kick up a stink? 985 00:58:50,590 --> 00:58:52,889 It may interest you to know that I'm a magistrate. 986 00:58:53,050 --> 00:58:54,389 And a member of Calvinists against 987 00:58:54,389 --> 00:58:57,150 Cocksucking and Housewives against Felicia, no doubt. 988 00:58:57,329 --> 00:59:00,329 The parents get involved, the guilt, the shame. 989 00:59:00,349 --> 00:59:01,769 If I do not have the number of David's 990 00:59:01,769 --> 00:59:04,450 parents this minute, I shall call the police. 991 00:59:06,730 --> 00:59:07,730 One. 992 00:59:08,190 --> 00:59:09,349 -Two. -All right, all right. 993 00:59:09,869 --> 00:59:13,130 I suppose you want the girl's name, too, so two sets can be... 994 00:59:13,130 --> 00:59:14,570 -The girl. -The girl? 995 00:59:15,230 --> 00:59:16,410 The girl, the girl. 996 00:59:17,050 --> 00:59:19,230 Did you think he was being sucked off by a giraffe? 997 00:59:23,050 --> 00:59:24,570 I thought you were the 998 00:59:26,769 --> 00:59:27,910 other party. 999 00:59:28,510 --> 00:59:30,510 You thought what? 1000 00:59:34,980 --> 00:59:39,119 If there's been a mistake, I'm sorry, it's 1001 00:59:39,119 --> 00:59:43,839 my duty to establish the facts. 1002 00:59:44,319 --> 00:59:45,339 Oh, fabulous. 1003 00:59:45,759 --> 00:59:48,579 I have chanced upon one of the very few people in the 1004 00:59:48,579 --> 00:59:52,339 world to have my poetry on their shelf, who have examined 1005 00:59:52,339 --> 00:59:56,900 the contents of my soul, and she thinks I'm a fucking paedophile. 1006 00:59:57,339 --> 01:00:00,719 Well, I went down to the woods today and I sure as hell had a big surprise. 1007 01:00:01,299 --> 01:00:04,380 I missed the sex offenders register by a whisker. 1008 01:00:05,199 --> 01:00:07,440 Sometimes the gift demands a sacrifice. 1009 01:00:07,799 --> 01:00:11,420 Perhaps it would help if you told me about the exact nature of your powers. 1010 01:00:12,380 --> 01:00:13,380 Stop the car. 1011 01:00:13,900 --> 01:00:16,659 No, I've done quite enough running around after you for one weekend. 1012 01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,860 I'll tell you, but not here. 1013 01:00:24,849 --> 01:00:28,329 I call it the gift, not my gift. 1014 01:00:29,730 --> 01:00:32,409 I can feel the power of nature. 1015 01:00:34,849 --> 01:00:36,989 I put my hand on a sick creature, 1016 01:00:38,289 --> 01:00:40,989 and it courses through me like lightning. 1017 01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,380 But I also have human feelings. 1018 01:00:48,119 --> 01:00:49,119 Hunger. 1019 01:00:50,340 --> 01:00:51,340 And cold. 1020 01:00:53,079 --> 01:00:54,340 And all types of hunger. 1021 01:00:59,550 --> 01:01:02,830 The first time I had a wet dream was 1022 01:01:02,830 --> 01:01:06,590 last year, I know, which is late. 1023 01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:12,980 I knew that I couldn't allow such a terrible thing to happen. 1024 01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:15,360 All that waste. 1025 01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:22,019 It's not just my hands, you see. 1026 01:01:23,519 --> 01:01:25,160 Every part of me can heal. 1027 01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,039 My blood and my seed. 1028 01:01:30,099 --> 01:01:31,099 Okay. 1029 01:01:31,420 --> 01:01:35,639 I knew that if I only used it for good and not to give 1030 01:01:35,639 --> 01:01:39,559 myself pleasure, then that could be a powerful tool as well. 1031 01:01:39,740 --> 01:01:42,000 Which is why, with Clara, you... 1032 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000 It started with Jane. 1033 01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,480 Her sickness was too powerful for my hands. 1034 01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:50,200 But I knew that... 1035 01:01:50,599 --> 01:01:55,800 if I got my essence in, deep inside her, then it would work. 1036 01:01:57,700 --> 01:02:02,340 These powers, do you think they're inherited? 1037 01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:04,280 Anyone can have a pure spirit. 1038 01:02:04,700 --> 01:02:05,700 Even me? 1039 01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:06,900 Especially you. 1040 01:02:08,380 --> 01:02:13,380 When you were a poet, you were inspired to see the glory of the world. 1041 01:02:13,780 --> 01:02:14,780 Bullocks. 1042 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,280 You want poetry, you fight with paper and pencil. 1043 01:02:18,460 --> 01:02:19,880 You muck in with humanity. 1044 01:02:20,119 --> 01:02:23,440 You don't wait for inspiration to vomit bliss over you. 1045 01:02:23,619 --> 01:02:26,800 The world is charged with the grandeur of God. 1046 01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:30,860 It will flame out like shining from shook foil. 1047 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,740 Gerald Manley Hopkins worked. 1048 01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,280 He studied Anglo-Saxon rhythmic structure. 1049 01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:36,880 He learned Welsh. 1050 01:02:37,059 --> 01:02:39,400 But the genius was inside him. 1051 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:41,280 Look at Simon. 1052 01:02:41,380 --> 01:02:44,720 We have the same genes, but he has an ordinary soul. 1053 01:02:45,980 --> 01:02:47,139 And your soul? 1054 01:02:47,980 --> 01:02:50,380 It's different and special. 1055 01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:52,860 Different and special? 1056 01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:53,960 Yes. 1057 01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:55,920 And you should respect that. 1058 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,039 See what needs to be seen, my arse, 1059 01:03:09,260 --> 01:03:12,139 miracles, my cock and baggy balls. 1060 01:03:12,940 --> 01:03:14,880 Sorry to piss on the parade, but we all 1061 01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,500 see what we want to see, and no one is immune. 1062 01:03:18,019 --> 01:03:21,860 Be it the shabby chic of Zen, or the wanton razzmatazz of 1063 01:03:21,860 --> 01:03:25,200 high Catholicism, or merely sucking off some teenage 1064 01:03:25,619 --> 01:03:30,559 -come-lately in a bucolic woodland glade, it's all just a funhouse mirror. 1065 01:03:30,559 --> 01:03:35,940 A mirror, a means to see yourself happier, healthier, prettier, or less... 1066 01:03:36,559 --> 01:03:39,079 well, less dying of leukemia. 1067 01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:43,039 Poor old Jane, you senseless cow. 1068 01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:49,340 Maybe I am just too jaded to be filled with wonder. 1069 01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,740 Maybe I should sacrifice my every standard of wit 1070 01:03:53,740 --> 01:03:57,079 and reason and throw my lot in with this imbecile cult. 1071 01:03:59,199 --> 01:04:03,039 If any of us could use a miracle, it's Ted fucking Wallace. 1072 01:04:03,859 --> 01:04:07,039 That wasn't always this bitter bin bag of custard, you know. 1073 01:04:07,579 --> 01:04:08,739 Tune me up, Jesus. 1074 01:04:09,399 --> 01:04:11,719 Make me whole, God's son. 1075 01:04:16,329 --> 01:04:17,549 Pour me a gin, would you? 1076 01:04:20,260 --> 01:04:21,260 Yes, of course. 1077 01:04:21,780 --> 01:04:22,920 My God. 1078 01:04:23,780 --> 01:04:25,220 Look at the state of you. 1079 01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:28,420 If you're here, Rebecca, who's ruling over Narnia? 1080 01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,320 Fancy you having the gall to turn up here. 1081 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,740 I bet Michael must have loved it when you rang. 1082 01:04:35,940 --> 01:04:38,280 I wrote to David, as it happens. 1083 01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,480 Oh, of course you did. 1084 01:04:41,740 --> 01:04:44,140 Got some godfathering to make up on. 1085 01:04:46,199 --> 01:04:50,699 It appears we can evade the truth no longer and must finally 1086 01:04:50,699 --> 01:04:56,019 confront the tangled story of my life with the Logan's Well, that 1087 01:04:56,019 --> 01:04:59,879 story began with Michael's younger sister Rebecca with whom I 1088 01:04:59,879 --> 01:05:03,379 dared to dally many moons ago I'm joined this evening by one of 1089 01:05:03,379 --> 01:05:07,079 this country's most celebrated poets And now in the run a little 1090 01:05:07,079 --> 01:05:11,000 folly ardour came crashing to a conclusion After she invited me 1091 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:14,819 to perform some earnest chin stroking on her tedious late-night 1092 01:05:14,819 --> 01:05:19,559 poetry stroke fest stanza, let us return to the reaction to 1093 01:05:19,559 --> 01:05:23,439 comments that you Brave enough to say what we 1094 01:05:23,439 --> 01:05:26,799 both know to be true that women don't enjoy Sex. 1095 01:05:26,899 --> 01:05:30,019 Oh, maybe the women that you've had experience I'm with it as the 1096 01:05:30,019 --> 01:05:35,439 price they have to pay for having a man for having a relationship I 1097 01:05:35,439 --> 01:05:38,679 mean if we're being absolutely frank The only reason I come on this 1098 01:05:38,679 --> 01:05:41,819 show is because I get to fuck you from time to time and indulging 1099 01:05:41,819 --> 01:05:43,980 those kind of absurd Whims is the highest 1100 01:05:43,980 --> 01:05:48,960 compliment our sex can pay yours Thank You, mr. 1101 01:05:49,039 --> 01:05:54,259 Wallace This was just me spitting on my hands and getting down to 1102 01:05:54,259 --> 01:05:59,059 work For the next five years I made a pile of all my treasures and 1103 01:05:59,059 --> 01:06:03,439 talents clambered up on top and cheerfully self-immolated like a 1104 01:06:03,439 --> 01:06:08,879 Laotian monk Since then Rebecca has performed diligently as my nemesis. 1105 01:06:09,019 --> 01:06:12,960 We are the jangling skeletons in each other's closets Jane 1106 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:17,019 told me you'd come down here But I didn't actually believe 1107 01:06:17,019 --> 01:06:20,339 that you would she asked me to investigate her recovery She 1108 01:06:20,339 --> 01:06:23,239 has proved the doctors wrong and that's good enough for me 1109 01:06:23,239 --> 01:06:26,179 You're not interested in the how and the why ignoring your 1110 01:06:26,179 --> 01:06:28,619 goddaughter during her youth is one thing 1111 01:06:28,619 --> 01:06:31,379 but taking advantage of her is Repugnant. 1112 01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:33,419 I'm not exploiting your daughter. 1113 01:06:33,559 --> 01:06:34,759 Oh, of course not. 1114 01:06:34,879 --> 01:06:39,239 You're just taking her money of which she's got loads But what 1115 01:06:39,239 --> 01:06:43,559 she needs is someone willing to get to the bottom of this cure 1116 01:06:46,910 --> 01:06:48,750 And you're the man for that job? 1117 01:06:49,090 --> 01:06:50,090 Yes. 1118 01:06:50,310 --> 01:06:52,630 And how's it going, this noble quest? 1119 01:06:55,750 --> 01:06:58,329 Come on, Ted Wallace, the only thing you've 1120 01:06:58,329 --> 01:07:00,650 ever got to the bottom of is a whiskey bottle. 1121 01:07:01,500 --> 01:07:04,500 ♪ 1122 01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:21,000 ♪ 1123 01:07:38,599 --> 01:07:39,759 Are you happy? 1124 01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:41,900 Yes. 1125 01:07:41,900 --> 01:07:42,940 Thank you. 1126 01:07:43,239 --> 01:07:44,400 Isn't it wonderful? 1127 01:07:45,179 --> 01:07:47,440 It's an impenetrable load of bollocks and I've 1128 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:51,799 got no way into it or through it or anything else. 1129 01:07:52,319 --> 01:07:53,639 Keep your money, Jane. 1130 01:07:53,739 --> 01:07:55,019 I have done bugger all. 1131 01:07:57,910 --> 01:07:58,910 Be happy. 1132 01:08:00,769 --> 01:08:03,470 I can't discredit David's gift. 1133 01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:06,110 Your cure is yours to have. 1134 01:08:06,470 --> 01:08:08,590 Ted, you can have it, too. 1135 01:08:08,830 --> 01:08:10,970 Just open your heart. 1136 01:08:11,190 --> 01:08:12,590 What if I don't want to? 1137 01:08:13,190 --> 01:08:14,190 You must. 1138 01:08:14,930 --> 01:08:16,010 No, I mustn't. 1139 01:08:16,470 --> 01:08:20,590 I don't have to do anything or desperately cling to any of your 1140 01:08:20,590 --> 01:08:24,449 ridiculous superstitions because I'm not about to kick the bucket. 1141 01:08:28,790 --> 01:08:31,590 Bugger! I'm not about to kick the bucket. 1142 01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:35,010 Kick the bucket. 1143 01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:44,500 ♪ 1144 01:08:44,850 --> 01:08:45,850 Oh, Christ. 1145 01:08:53,980 --> 01:08:56,939 It's physician heal thyself. 1146 01:08:58,539 --> 01:09:03,659 I need the vets number Zero double one 1147 01:09:04,180 --> 01:09:07,300 four nine six zero triple nine 1148 01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:12,079 Is Davy very angry with me? 1149 01:09:12,500 --> 01:09:16,000 ♪ 1150 01:09:16,899 --> 01:09:18,179 He'll be fine. 1151 01:09:19,019 --> 01:09:21,099 You've done more for him than you realize. 1152 01:09:22,119 --> 01:09:24,799 Mr. Ogden, about the horse this morning. 1153 01:09:25,879 --> 01:09:26,879 Lilac Logan. 1154 01:09:28,339 --> 01:09:30,099 Yeah, I know that's not her real name. 1155 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:34,000 ♪ 1156 01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,079 You're late for dinner, Ted. 1157 01:09:39,039 --> 01:09:40,559 I'll be dressed in a minute. 1158 01:09:42,019 --> 01:09:43,420 Go through without me. 1159 01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:46,099 I've just seen David. 1160 01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:47,899 What is wrong with him? 1161 01:09:48,699 --> 01:09:51,059 A bit knocked about, but he'll be fine. 1162 01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:53,920 Annie. 1163 01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:57,479 Do you think he's a miracle worker? 1164 01:09:59,449 --> 01:10:04,829 Well, I am you're his mother if he is you must send something 1165 01:10:07,199 --> 01:10:12,619 I think he's a magical boy, but sometimes... 1166 01:10:14,949 --> 01:10:16,069 I still wheeze. 1167 01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:22,539 I've always known you are a wonder. 1168 01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:28,500 ♪ 1169 01:10:28,750 --> 01:10:31,500 ♪ 1170 01:10:31,500 --> 01:10:34,100 I think it's time for us to go public. 1171 01:10:34,420 --> 01:10:35,960 It's for me and Anne to decide. 1172 01:10:36,479 --> 01:10:38,600 Oh, for God's sake, it's not a guilty secret. 1173 01:10:39,159 --> 01:10:43,720 It's a wonderful, wonderful miracle that makes everyone happy. 1174 01:10:44,140 --> 01:10:48,520 I'm sorry to piss on your chips, Oliver, but I'm not happy. 1175 01:10:49,539 --> 01:10:51,859 Of course not, sweet Jesus, you're a piece of work. 1176 01:10:55,660 --> 01:10:56,660 Sorry, Michael. 1177 01:10:58,239 --> 01:10:59,380 What's going on? 1178 01:10:59,619 --> 01:11:04,920 Michael, I've listened to the stories, but I don't believe in David's powers. 1179 01:11:05,619 --> 01:11:08,699 One chance to raise his eyes to heaven, and what does he say? 1180 01:11:09,100 --> 01:11:12,400 It's a bit odd, isn't it, that a poet of all 1181 01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:14,760 people should be the only one not convinced? 1182 01:11:15,159 --> 01:11:16,159 Not at all. 1183 01:11:16,760 --> 01:11:19,060 I'm a poet because I'm very mundane. 1184 01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:24,640 I'm only good with what I can taste and see and hear and smell and touch. 1185 01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:28,039 Oh, so you've come to sneer at us up your snotty sleeve. 1186 01:11:28,199 --> 01:11:29,440 Jane asked me. 1187 01:11:30,300 --> 01:11:35,100 She told me there were miracles at Swafford which she wanted me to investigate. 1188 01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:36,320 And? 1189 01:11:36,739 --> 01:11:40,920 And I think David is proud and sensitive. 1190 01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:45,779 Is that it? 1191 01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:47,640 Oliver, be quiet. 1192 01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,579 I would like to hear what Ted has to say. 1193 01:11:57,010 --> 01:12:00,589 No teenager is as clever as they'd like to be. 1194 01:12:02,449 --> 01:12:04,989 David is at the point where he has glimpsed 1195 01:12:05,409 --> 01:12:09,089 ideas, but their true meaning lies beyond his reach. 1196 01:12:13,900 --> 01:12:19,359 Our culture rewards different and special. 1197 01:12:21,340 --> 01:12:24,439 The stories we tell our children are of superheroes and 1198 01:12:25,039 --> 01:12:30,140 foundlings with undiscovered talents that soar to towering heights. 1199 01:12:31,039 --> 01:12:34,880 Michael told his son a story that any child would 1200 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:38,979 like to be the center of, and David decided it was true. 1201 01:12:39,199 --> 01:12:40,199 It's no story. 1202 01:12:40,260 --> 01:12:42,020 I know what I've seen and felt. 1203 01:12:42,020 --> 01:12:46,260 You've seen and fed the delusions of an ordinary child. 1204 01:12:46,380 --> 01:12:47,380 Tedwin. 1205 01:12:47,380 --> 01:12:48,380 Daddy. 1206 01:12:48,979 --> 01:12:49,979 My father's gift. 1207 01:12:50,079 --> 01:12:51,079 I've seen it work. 1208 01:12:51,100 --> 01:12:52,100 All right. 1209 01:12:52,420 --> 01:12:56,979 Yes, your father did have a gift, and it was passed on. 1210 01:12:57,079 --> 01:12:58,380 Oh, he's off his head. 1211 01:12:58,579 --> 01:12:59,760 He doesn't know what he's talking about. 1212 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,479 I will not interrupt again. 1213 01:13:04,899 --> 01:13:06,019 I'm sorry, Ted. 1214 01:13:06,119 --> 01:13:07,119 Please, continue. 1215 01:13:09,159 --> 01:13:14,179 Michael's father's gift was passed on to Simon. 1216 01:13:14,819 --> 01:13:15,819 Simon? 1217 01:13:16,479 --> 01:13:21,399 A few summers ago, Anne suffered a terrible asthma attack. 1218 01:13:22,559 --> 01:13:25,699 Simon kept his head and tried to get her breathing. 1219 01:13:26,559 --> 01:13:30,339 David broke past and put his hands on Anne's 1220 01:13:30,339 --> 01:13:35,420 chest just as Simon's first aid started to work. 1221 01:13:35,859 --> 01:13:39,399 Michael, you saw your wife recover and you thought of your 1222 01:13:39,399 --> 01:13:43,899 father and then you told David that he had inherited a gift. 1223 01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:47,399 He told Jane, and when she too got 1224 01:13:47,399 --> 01:13:51,359 better, he let the bush telegraph do the rest. 1225 01:13:51,519 --> 01:13:57,159 So, you're claiming that Simon has been healing people. 1226 01:13:57,159 --> 01:14:01,339 Well, your father didn't have healing powers. 1227 01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:07,299 He had kindness, courage and sense, and that is what Simon has inherited. 1228 01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:10,920 David envisaged something far more grandiose. 1229 01:14:11,319 --> 01:14:14,539 He told himself that as long as he stayed pure, 1230 01:14:14,859 --> 01:14:18,339 his semen would be a channel for healing and a 1231 01:14:18,339 --> 01:14:21,219 far more powerful one than his hands could ever be. 1232 01:14:23,359 --> 01:14:27,279 Jane, beautiful, wonderful, desperate 1233 01:14:27,279 --> 01:14:31,039 Jane, presented him with the ideal test case. 1234 01:14:31,619 --> 01:14:35,559 I'm afraid it's probable he tried the same trick on Lilac. 1235 01:14:40,149 --> 01:14:41,469 My God. 1236 01:14:47,710 --> 01:14:50,470 Only Oliver can say what technique was used. 1237 01:14:50,489 --> 01:14:52,710 -How dare you! -You seduced my son. 1238 01:14:53,550 --> 01:14:55,010 It was a cure. 1239 01:14:56,390 --> 01:14:57,890 He cured me. 1240 01:14:58,170 --> 01:14:59,170 Go and get David. 1241 01:14:59,270 --> 01:15:00,270 Yes, mum. 1242 01:15:00,270 --> 01:15:04,369 But people are better, and none of this explains Lilac. 1243 01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:06,050 Lilac was my fault. 1244 01:15:06,609 --> 01:15:11,029 On my first morning here, I dropped a 1245 01:15:11,029 --> 01:15:14,409 bottle of whiskey into this bucket. 1246 01:15:20,090 --> 01:15:22,789 Lilac must have lapped and lapped. 1247 01:15:24,170 --> 01:15:28,430 She was drunk, and then she was hungover. 1248 01:15:28,489 --> 01:15:29,489 What did you do to me? 1249 01:15:29,670 --> 01:15:31,110 God knows what you thought you were doing. 1250 01:15:34,750 --> 01:15:36,510 And what do you say to this? 1251 01:15:47,750 --> 01:15:49,789 Did you really throw away all your pills? 1252 01:15:51,010 --> 01:15:52,170 I don't need them. 1253 01:15:53,949 --> 01:15:55,609 I've never felt better. 1254 01:15:56,609 --> 01:16:00,229 Then why were you shouting in agony in your bedroom? 1255 01:16:06,250 --> 01:16:08,409 I don't know what's the matter with you all. 1256 01:16:10,590 --> 01:16:11,590 Jane. 1257 01:16:12,989 --> 01:16:15,289 Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane. 1258 01:16:16,210 --> 01:16:17,210 Yes. 1259 01:16:17,829 --> 01:16:18,869 Remissions occur. 1260 01:16:22,250 --> 01:16:23,329 Davey's not in his room. 1261 01:16:23,470 --> 01:16:24,710 -What? -And I found this. 1262 01:16:25,010 --> 01:16:26,010 Tyler? 1263 01:16:26,590 --> 01:16:27,890 The noise at the door. 1264 01:16:28,729 --> 01:16:30,189 If he overheard me... 1265 01:16:30,189 --> 01:16:32,689 Christ! Where'd I find that little shit? 1266 01:16:33,029 --> 01:16:35,189 Five minutes ago, you thought he was the second coming. 1267 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,119 -Woof! -Woof! -Hey! 1268 01:16:41,699 --> 01:16:42,699 Davey! 1269 01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:49,600 Hey there! 1270 01:16:53,140 --> 01:16:54,140 David! 1271 01:16:54,500 --> 01:16:59,500 ♪ 1272 01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:11,000 ♪ 1273 01:17:11,250 --> 01:17:16,250 ♪ 1274 01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:21,500 ♪ 1275 01:17:21,750 --> 01:17:26,750 ♪ 1276 01:17:26,949 --> 01:17:27,949 Simon! 1277 01:17:28,449 --> 01:17:29,750 Bring soda here! 1278 01:17:31,329 --> 01:17:32,430 What have you got, Ted? 1279 01:17:32,649 --> 01:17:33,649 His pyjamas. 1280 01:17:36,779 --> 01:17:38,460 -Huh? -Go on, find Aki. 1281 01:17:39,460 --> 01:17:40,460 Aki's got 1282 01:17:40,460 --> 01:17:41,519 ♪ 1283 01:17:41,519 --> 01:17:42,559 -see. -Find Aki! 1284 01:17:42,859 --> 01:17:43,859 Find Aki, son! 1285 01:17:44,799 --> 01:17:45,799 Find Aki, son! 1286 01:17:48,500 --> 01:17:49,500 Is he playing now? 1287 01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:03,500 ♪ 1288 01:18:04,510 --> 01:18:05,510 He's not breathing. 1289 01:18:06,550 --> 01:18:07,550 He can't let me. 1290 01:18:07,569 --> 01:18:08,569 Amy! 1291 01:18:16,699 --> 01:18:17,800 Is he right? 1292 01:18:21,199 --> 01:18:22,199 I'll call an ambulance. 1293 01:18:27,050 --> 01:18:28,170 Thank you, darling. 1294 01:18:28,390 --> 01:18:29,390 I'll go with you. 1295 01:18:29,449 --> 01:18:30,449 You follow me. 1296 01:18:30,770 --> 01:18:31,770 Yes. 1297 01:18:32,550 --> 01:18:33,550 I love you. 1298 01:18:58,750 --> 01:18:59,829 Thank you, Ted. 1299 01:19:01,829 --> 01:19:02,829 You... 1300 01:19:03,189 --> 01:19:04,630 You did very well. 1301 01:19:05,670 --> 01:19:06,670 It was nothing. 1302 01:19:10,250 --> 01:19:12,250 I've been a terrible father. 1303 01:19:16,300 --> 01:19:19,260 You got carried away with your own story. 1304 01:19:21,970 --> 01:19:25,210 Something we're all occasionally guilty of. 1305 01:19:29,750 --> 01:19:31,369 Would you look after things here? 1306 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:54,000 ♪ 1307 01:20:07,810 --> 01:20:08,810 Swafford Hall. 1308 01:20:12,310 --> 01:20:13,810 Yes, I'm her godfather. 1309 01:20:18,170 --> 01:20:19,170 Yes. 1310 01:20:24,939 --> 01:20:26,779 Yes, I'll tell her. 1311 01:20:34,949 --> 01:20:36,349 Was that the hospital? 1312 01:20:39,310 --> 01:20:40,310 Yes. 1313 01:20:41,310 --> 01:20:43,149 He could well have died out there. 1314 01:20:44,229 --> 01:20:45,229 Yes. 1315 01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:54,300 But you couldn't help yourself. 1316 01:20:55,159 --> 01:20:58,899 Your pompous speech, tearing his ego to shreds. 1317 01:20:59,739 --> 01:21:04,960 And you do realize, if you're right, then my daughter is dying. 1318 01:21:08,699 --> 01:21:12,239 You can't resist grandstanding, can you? 1319 01:21:13,260 --> 01:21:16,260 You have to be the smartest person in the room. 1320 01:21:16,420 --> 01:21:17,420 I know. 1321 01:21:18,679 --> 01:21:21,599 No matter what damage it does to those around you. 1322 01:21:21,720 --> 01:21:22,720 I know. 1323 01:21:27,279 --> 01:21:32,139 My darling, I'm so sorry, I have some terrible news. 1324 01:21:36,340 --> 01:21:37,340 It's Jane. 1325 01:21:37,399 --> 01:21:39,199 The phone call. 1326 01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:43,579 I am right. 1327 01:21:45,750 --> 01:21:46,750 She is. 1328 01:21:47,500 --> 01:21:52,000 ♪ 1329 01:21:54,600 --> 01:21:57,520 You fucking bastard, you fucking bastard! 1330 01:22:00,070 --> 01:22:01,070 I'm sorry. 1331 01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:05,000 ♪ 1332 01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:11,000 ♪ 1333 01:22:11,250 --> 01:22:14,500 ♪ 1334 01:22:20,649 --> 01:22:21,649 Oh 1335 01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:33,000 ♪ 1336 01:22:33,250 --> 01:22:38,250 ♪ 1337 01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:43,500 ♪ 1338 01:22:43,750 --> 01:22:48,750 ♪ 1339 01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:51,699 ♪ 1340 01:22:51,699 --> 01:22:57,539 From the wreck of the past which hath perished this much I at least 1341 01:22:57,539 --> 01:23:01,599 may recall It hath taught me that 1342 01:23:01,599 --> 01:23:04,239 what I most cherished deserved to 1343 01:23:04,239 --> 01:23:08,139 be dearest of all In the desert a 1344 01:23:08,139 --> 01:23:11,319 fountain is springing in the wide waste. 1345 01:23:11,439 --> 01:23:17,279 There still is a tree Sorry, dad It's 1346 01:23:17,279 --> 01:23:22,199 fucking awful Which speaks to my spirit of thee 1347 01:23:27,980 --> 01:23:29,340 Well read, young pup. 1348 01:23:30,440 --> 01:23:31,440 Thanks, Uncle Ted. 1349 01:23:32,180 --> 01:23:34,140 We'll make a poet of you yet. 1350 01:23:37,479 --> 01:23:40,139 How's the magic-free life going? 1351 01:23:41,779 --> 01:23:42,779 Normal life. 1352 01:23:43,139 --> 01:23:45,039 It's a bit like hard work. 1353 01:23:45,899 --> 01:23:46,920 You'll get used to it. 1354 01:23:47,199 --> 01:23:49,979 So, you're the guy who hung out in an open grave? 1355 01:23:50,319 --> 01:23:51,319 It's my son, Roman. 1356 01:23:52,119 --> 01:23:53,119 Yeah. 1357 01:23:53,759 --> 01:23:54,759 Cool. 1358 01:24:08,000 --> 01:24:11,000 ♪ 1359 01:24:11,029 --> 01:24:12,569 Where is Jane now? 1360 01:24:13,250 --> 01:24:14,250 In heaven? 1361 01:24:15,089 --> 01:24:16,089 Hell? 1362 01:24:17,429 --> 01:24:19,649 Well, neither, obviously. 1363 01:24:20,129 --> 01:24:22,289 She's just been chucked into the ground with 1364 01:24:22,289 --> 01:24:24,869 all the many million Janes who have gone before. 1365 01:24:26,229 --> 01:24:29,309 All the Toms and all the Dicks and Harrys, too. 1366 01:24:29,750 --> 01:24:32,409 All the priests and poets and rock stars. 1367 01:24:32,549 --> 01:24:34,969 All the fish and all the badgers and the beagles. 1368 01:24:35,609 --> 01:24:37,109 Cucumbers and camels. 1369 01:24:37,710 --> 01:24:38,849 Hello, goodbye. 1370 01:24:41,010 --> 01:24:42,329 Destination fucking nowhere. 1371 01:24:48,240 --> 01:24:53,060 But if you're looking for a miracle, try this on for size. 1372 01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:57,659 Last night, I wrote five poems. 1373 01:24:58,779 --> 01:25:02,380 That's five more than I've managed in the larger part of three decades. 1374 01:25:03,659 --> 01:25:08,300 This morning, another two came tumbling out, and I barely broke a sweat. 1375 01:25:09,279 --> 01:25:10,279 How? 1376 01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:11,880 Why? 1377 01:25:12,340 --> 01:25:14,720 Inspiration from a clear blue sky. 1378 01:25:14,720 --> 01:25:19,220 I may be jaded, I may be old, but 1379 01:25:19,220 --> 01:25:23,260 fuck my best boots, I'm filled with wonder. 1380 01:25:23,520 --> 01:25:24,520 To miracles. 1381 01:25:25,500 --> 01:25:30,500 ♪ 1382 01:25:30,750 --> 01:25:35,750 ♪ 1383 01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:39,500 ♪ 1384 01:25:39,800 --> 01:25:41,820 Now will you all kindly fuck off? 1385 01:25:42,380 --> 01:25:44,159 I have some writing to do 1386 01:25:44,500 --> 01:25:49,500 ♪ 1387 01:25:49,750 --> 01:25:52,500 ♪ 1388 01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:58,000 ♪ 1389 01:25:58,250 --> 01:26:03,250 ♪ 1390 01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:08,500 ♪ 1391 01:26:08,750 --> 01:26:13,750 ♪ 1392 01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:19,000 ♪ 1393 01:26:19,250 --> 01:26:24,250 ♪ 1394 01:26:24,500 --> 01:26:29,500 ♪ 1395 01:26:29,750 --> 01:26:34,750 ♪ 1396 01:26:35,000 --> 01:26:40,000 ♪ 1397 01:26:40,250 --> 01:26:45,250 ♪ 1398 01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:50,500 ♪ 1399 01:26:50,750 --> 01:26:55,750 ♪ 1400 01:26:56,000 --> 01:27:01,000 ♪ 1401 01:27:01,250 --> 01:27:06,250 ♪ 1402 01:27:06,500 --> 01:27:11,500 ♪ 1403 01:27:11,750 --> 01:27:16,750 ♪ 1404 01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:22,000 ♪ 1405 01:27:22,250 --> 01:27:27,250 ♪ 1406 01:27:27,500 --> 01:27:32,500 ♪ 1407 01:27:32,750 --> 01:27:37,750 ♪ 1408 01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:43,000 ♪ 1409 01:27:43,500 --> 01:27:48,500 ♪ 1410 01:27:48,750 --> 01:27:53,750 ♪ 1411 01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:59,000 ♪ 1412 01:27:59,250 --> 01:28:04,250 ♪ 1413 01:28:04,500 --> 01:28:09,500 ♪ 1414 01:28:09,750 --> 01:28:14,750 ♪ 1415 01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:20,000 ♪ 1416 01:28:20,250 --> 01:28:25,250 ♪ 1417 01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:30,500 ♪ 1418 01:28:30,750 --> 01:28:35,750 ♪ 1419 01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:41,000 ♪ 1420 01:28:41,250 --> 01:28:46,250 ♪ 1421 01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:51,500 ♪ 1422 01:28:51,750 --> 01:28:56,750 ♪ 1423 01:28:57,000 --> 01:29:02,000 ♪ 1424 01:29:02,250 --> 01:29:07,250 ♪ 1425 01:29:07,500 --> 01:29:12,500 ♪ 1426 01:29:12,750 --> 01:29:17,750 ♪ 1427 01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:19,500 ♪