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_

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♪ I'm goin' down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

4
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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

6
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

7
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

9
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♪ I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it! ♪

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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

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Coool!

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Hi.

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So cool.

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Hi.

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Hi.

16
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Hi.

17
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Hi.

18
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Dude, Mars rules.

19
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Mars rules.

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What are you thinking about, babe?

21
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Just thinking about how
much we could accomplish

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if people weren't so close-minded.

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You're worried about
him again, aren't you?

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Your friend, Kyle?

25
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He's not a bad person, Heidi.

26
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Then talk to him, babe.

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Tell him what we're doing.
Maybe you can get him back.

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You're right.

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You're right, Heidi.

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Ha-ha! Yeah.

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Up yours, bitch.

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Ha-ha, suck it, skank.

33
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How about a dick in your mouth?

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There you go.

35
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Aw!

36
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Hi, Skankhunt!

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Aah!

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What are you guys doing here?

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We came to celebrate.

40
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Not every day you troll a whole country.

41
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We brought some beers.

42
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Let's have a trolling party.

43
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- Yeah!
- We did it!

44
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- Yeah!
- We did it.

45
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I think if anything,

46
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we proved that trolls really
can have an effect on the world.

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- You said it!
-Yeah! We're awesome.

48
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And I think that on the next
one, we're only gonna get better.

49
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No doubt about it.

50
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W-what are you talking about, next one?

51
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Skankhunt, we got an entire country

52
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to sign off social media and
stop what they were doing.

53
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Imagine what effect we can
have on the rest of the world.

54
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We're like super trolls
who can change anything.

55
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Can I talk to you for second?

56
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Why did you bring them here?

57
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What do you mean? We're all
on a team now, Skankhunt.

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That was one-time deal so
nobody would find out who we are.

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But you saw what we did
when we worked together.

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Just think about what we could do to,

61
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like, the presidential election.

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The election?

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I don't give a shit about the election.

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You don't troll to be political.

65
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Of course it's political.

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No, I just do it to laugh...
Like I did when I was a kid.

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Don't you remember being a kid

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and just calling someone
a fag for no reason?

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I remember being called
a fag for no reason.

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Right! Like, it was just fun, right?

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Getting political doesn't
do anything for me.

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I just like remembering
when I was a kid.

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That's it.

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You need to get those people to go,

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and then you need to go.

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Okay.

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Sure, Skankhunt.

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Whatever you say.

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The presidential election
is only two weeks away.

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We have to destroy these things.

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That's much easier said than done.

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They're resistant to just
about everything I've tried.

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'Member Mos Eisley? 'Member the Rancor?

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'Member?

85
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'Member sand people?
'Member the cantina?

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'Member... Ah! Ah!

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What's going on now?

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They're using a torch on him.

89
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Ooh, are they gonna use a torch on us?

90
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'Member Bespin?

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'Member Wedge? I loved Wedge. 'Member?

92
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Ugh! There has to be something.

93
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Try the acid.

94
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'Member Mon Mothma?

95
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'Member the rebel transports?

96
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They're trying to destroy us.

97
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- They are?
- Our whole species?

98
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- They can't do that.
- Yeah, they can.

99
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'Member the Death Star
blowing up the Alderaan?

100
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Ooh, Alderaan... I 'member.

101
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'Member the Cloud City?

102
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'Member IG-88, the bounty hunter
droid, 'member? That was fantastic.

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Damn it!

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These things are
impossible to get rid of.

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Yeah?

106
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Hey, broship, you got a minute?

107
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Oh, what do you want now?

108
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Just a second, please, Kyle.

109
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- Hurry up.
- Okay, come on, baby.

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Ah, dude, what the fuck?

111
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Kyle, Kyle, I know you've
never had a serious girlfriend,

112
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but you stop caring about seeing
each other in the bathroom.

113
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I'm going to the bathroom.

114
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Eric really cares about you, Kyle.

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He feels like he's losing
you, and he's really upset.

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Why?

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I remember not that long ago, Kyle,

118
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when you told me, in
this very room, I believe,

119
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that you were gonna prove who
the troll was no matter what.

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Do you remember that, Kyle?

121
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Where's that Kyle?

122
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I have to stay with my group, Cartman.

123
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No, I know... Being in groups is great.

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You get to gang up and
smash people's stuff,

125
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pull out your wiener in the cafeteria.

126
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I wonder what the old Kyle
would say about this Kyle.

127
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I wonder if old Kyle would be

128
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pretty disgusted right
now by who he's become.

129
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Heidi's been working with Denmark, Kyle.

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I want to show you what she's done.

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It's gonna change the way you think.

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You stupid, bitch.

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God fuck you.

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Nobody cares about your fat little...

135
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Oh.

136
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Oh, no, not again.

137
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Yes?

138
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Hey, Skankhunt, it's Dildo Shwaggins.

139
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I told you to stop FaceTiming
me while I'm on the computer.

140
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It's very distracting.

141
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Well, you haven't been
answering my calls,

142
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so I know this is the only
way I can talk to my buddy.

143
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I'm trying to just use the Internet.

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People should be able
to use the Internet

145
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without being harassed.

146
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All right, look.

147
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I wrote a song about our friendship.

148
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- Can I just play it for you?
-  No.

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♪ Two lone wolves on
the plains of darkness ♪

150
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♪ The Valkyrie flies
from the wailing clouds ♪

151
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♪ The last ♪...

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Bye!

153
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Jesus. What is wrong with people?

154
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Nobody cares about your fat
sister with Lyme disease, skank.

155
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This is gonna seem a
little weird to you, okay?

156
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What is?

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Before I quit Twitter
and threw my phone away,

158
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I was trying to prove who our
school message board troll was.

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Like you said you would do, Kyle,

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except that she actually meant it.

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Before I stopped searching,
I learned something.

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Take a look.

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What is all this?

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To try and prove who the troll was,

165
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I started to look for patterns
in how students used emojis.

166
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Then I cross-referenced that
with the troll's writing.

167
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I call it emoji analysis.

168
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People can hide behind a fake name,

169
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but the way they use
emojis gives them away.

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Wow, that's pretty smart.

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She's funny, too, Kyle.

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After I had eliminated
nearly every student,

173
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I started to realize
that the troll's emojis

174
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were more archaic and less
elegant than the average kid's.

175
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That's when I realized it.

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Whoever Skankhunt42 is on
the school message boards,

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it isn't a student.

178
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It's an adult.

179
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You mean like one of the teachers?

180
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I think... it's one of the parents.

181
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Are you sure?

182
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I had enough examples of the teachers'
text and e-mails to do emoji analysis.

183
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They were much more in
line with Skankhunt's

184
00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:27,406
but still not a match.

185
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Emoji analysis... It's genius.

186
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You're not giving her
credit for being hilarious.

187
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♪ Ching Chong ching loo is Die ♪

188
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♪ Ching Chong ching loo is Die ♪

189
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♪ Ching Chong loo ♪

190
00:07:52,025 --> 00:07:53,424
♪ Ching Chong loo ♪

191
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♪ Ching Chong ching loo is Die ♪

192
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Sir, take a look at the
statistical analysis.

193
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The servers are working.

194
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,834
So then we don't need any more funding?

195
00:08:02,869 --> 00:08:03,835
No, sir.

196
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:06,037
Using Heidi's emoji analysis,

197
00:08:06,072 --> 00:08:08,339
we have the final piece of the puzzle.

198
00:08:08,374 --> 00:08:10,575
So far, we have narrowed
down the location

199
00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:12,743
of the troll attack on Denmark.

200
00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:16,013
It is a location in the
middle of the United States,

201
00:08:16,049 --> 00:08:18,049
a place they call Coloreedo.

202
00:08:18,084 --> 00:08:19,851
Coloreedo?

203
00:08:19,886 --> 00:08:21,853
That's a very goofy name.

204
00:08:21,888 --> 00:08:24,422
We believe that very soon
the servers will give us

205
00:08:24,457 --> 00:08:28,192
the place in Coloreedo that
the trolling originated.

206
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,965
Go on and hide in your
cave, little troll.

207
00:08:34,293 --> 00:08:39,570
Soon, everyone will know where you live.

208
00:08:42,242 --> 00:08:44,208
Ow, ow, ow!

209
00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:45,476
Damn it!

210
00:08:45,512 --> 00:08:47,044
Nothing kills these things.

211
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,479
We have to keep trying.

212
00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:50,448
Where'd they go?

213
00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:51,549
They're not in the jar?

214
00:08:51,584 --> 00:08:52,984
That's it.

215
00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:54,118
Look, it's over.

216
00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:56,154
No, I'll go find more.

217
00:08:56,189 --> 00:08:57,955
It's over, don't you get it?

218
00:08:57,991 --> 00:09:00,224
Even if we found a way
to eradicate them now,

219
00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:02,793
we don't have time to
implement it nationwide.

220
00:09:02,829 --> 00:09:05,915
Then how do we stop them from
getting me elected President?

221
00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:08,566
There's no other choice, Mr. Garrison.

222
00:09:08,601 --> 00:09:11,068
The American people have
to be made to understand

223
00:09:11,104 --> 00:09:12,503
what's going on here.

224
00:09:12,539 --> 00:09:15,072
You're going to have to talk to them.

225
00:09:15,108 --> 00:09:18,476
No, no, I am done giving
political speeches.

226
00:09:18,511 --> 00:09:20,444
I tried being dirty.
I tried being vulgar.

227
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,612
Nothing mattered.

228
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,015
For the first time ever,

229
00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:26,083
you're gonna have to
speak from the heart

230
00:09:26,119 --> 00:09:28,252
and not make it about you.

231
00:09:28,288 --> 00:09:30,254
Well, that's just impossible.

232
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:32,957
You know what these
things are capable of.

233
00:09:32,992 --> 00:09:34,525
Even if you lose the election,

234
00:09:34,561 --> 00:09:37,195
another one like you is gonna
rise up and take your place.

235
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,930
J.J. Abrams has seen to that.

236
00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:40,598
Don't you get it, Randy?

237
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:41,933
I'm not a politician.

238
00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:43,334
I never was.

239
00:09:43,369 --> 00:09:46,437
All I know is that for
the future of our country,

240
00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:49,640
you're gonna have to
give one last speech...

241
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:52,843
The speech that everyone needs to hear,

242
00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:56,747
a speech where you finally just
talk like a normal human being.

243
00:09:57,984 --> 00:10:00,585
Oh, geez.

244
00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:08,135
Hey, man. Can we have
a quick chin wiggle?

245
00:10:08,171 --> 00:10:11,038
Look, the other day, when
you said Heidi wasn't funny,

246
00:10:11,074 --> 00:10:12,573
that was pretty lame, man.

247
00:10:12,608 --> 00:10:14,041
She wasn't being funny.

248
00:10:14,077 --> 00:10:16,043
Oh, my God. Will you let it go!

249
00:10:16,079 --> 00:10:17,978
Why do you have to have
this hang-up against women?

250
00:10:18,014 --> 00:10:19,814
- I don't!
- You do, Kyle!

251
00:10:19,849 --> 00:10:21,615
You have to think about
the things you say.

252
00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:22,850
They matter!

253
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:24,151
Cartman.

254
00:10:24,187 --> 00:10:26,821
I did some research on the Danish
website you've been helping out.

255
00:10:26,856 --> 00:10:29,557
You do realize that once
Troll Trace is online,

256
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,559
anybody can use it on anyone, right?

257
00:10:31,594 --> 00:10:33,093
Yeah, to catch trolls.

258
00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:35,496
So, somebody like Heidi could use it

259
00:10:35,531 --> 00:10:37,498
to see your entire Internet history,

260
00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:39,433
everything you ever said
and did on the Internet,

261
00:10:39,469 --> 00:10:41,353
even before you were together.

262
00:10:42,738 --> 00:10:44,705
Well, Heidi actually
doesn't use the Internet.

263
00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:46,373
We've sworn off that
stuff, so it's cool.

264
00:10:46,409 --> 00:10:48,742
Right. But somebody like me

265
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,544
could look up your
entire Internet history,

266
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,279
print it out, and give it to Heidi.

267
00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:55,482
I would imagine there are some things
you've done or said on the Internet

268
00:10:55,518 --> 00:10:57,255
you wouldn't want Heidi to know about.

269
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,153
Uh-oh.

270
00:11:18,707 --> 00:11:20,741
Did you like the movie, hon?

271
00:11:20,776 --> 00:11:21,942
No, it sucked!

272
00:11:21,977 --> 00:11:23,610
I'm gonna send Butters
an e-mail right now.

273
00:11:23,646 --> 00:11:25,712
"Dude, don't bother
with new 'Ghostbusters.'

274
00:11:25,748 --> 00:11:28,115
Totally not funny. Chicks ruined it."

275
00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:29,449
Can we get ice cream now?

276
00:11:29,485 --> 00:11:31,919
I want to get the taste
of ass out of my mouth.

277
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,796
How can they make what
I said on the Internet

278
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,531
available to the
public? That's bullshit!

279
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:46,233
It's available to everyone, stupid!

280
00:11:46,268 --> 00:11:47,534
I got to go!

281
00:11:49,305 --> 00:11:50,404
- Hee-hee!
- Come on!

282
00:11:50,439 --> 00:11:54,341
- Hurry! We have to hurry!
- Let's go!

283
00:11:54,377 --> 00:11:55,843
This way, this way!

284
00:11:55,878 --> 00:11:57,578
We have to go this way, 'member?

285
00:11:57,613 --> 00:11:59,013
Oh, I 'member!

286
00:11:59,048 --> 00:12:00,414
Come on. We have to hurry.

287
00:12:00,449 --> 00:12:02,282
- 'Member Jabba the Hutt?
- Yeah!

288
00:12:02,318 --> 00:12:04,351
Come on, tubs. You got
to keep up, 'member?

289
00:12:04,387 --> 00:12:06,520
Sorry. I 'member.

290
00:12:06,555 --> 00:12:07,921
Okay. Almost there.

291
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:10,224
- 'Member the Battle of Endor?
- Shh!

292
00:12:10,259 --> 00:12:11,792
'Member the Battle of Endor?

293
00:12:11,827 --> 00:12:12,960
Oh, I 'member.

294
00:12:12,995 --> 00:12:14,595
Are we almost there?

295
00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:16,597
Shh! Come on, 'member!

296
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:18,632
Oh, I 'member.

297
00:12:22,905 --> 00:12:24,872
I miss my friend.

298
00:12:24,907 --> 00:12:27,541
Oh, you got to be... Are you joking?

299
00:12:27,576 --> 00:12:29,476
I don't know how things got derailed,

300
00:12:29,512 --> 00:12:31,712
but I-I'm sorry if I made you upset.

301
00:12:31,747 --> 00:12:33,547
I want to be buddies again.

302
00:12:33,582 --> 00:12:36,116
Buddies like when? When were we buddies?

303
00:12:36,152 --> 00:12:38,786
Come on. Let's just have a
couple beers and do some trolling.

304
00:12:38,821 --> 00:12:40,220
I don't have time for you!

305
00:12:40,256 --> 00:12:42,790
I'm sorry, dude, but I have a life.

306
00:12:42,825 --> 00:12:45,893
I have a wife and kids and shit to do.

307
00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,728
Why are you mad at me?

308
00:12:47,763 --> 00:12:50,497
Because you won't go away
and let me just have fun!

309
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:53,600
I refuse to believe that
Skankhunt is that shallow.

310
00:12:53,636 --> 00:12:54,935
Oh, here we go.

311
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:57,404
When you Photoshop penises
in cancer survivors' mouths,

312
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,073
it's not just to make people laugh.

313
00:12:59,108 --> 00:13:00,808
Yes! It! Is!

314
00:13:00,843 --> 00:13:03,010
If somebody Photoshopped a
dick in your wife's mouth,

315
00:13:03,045 --> 00:13:04,578
would you just think it was funny?

316
00:13:04,613 --> 00:13:07,712
You mean my fucking screensaver?

317
00:13:09,471 --> 00:13:11,351
It's true.

318
00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:13,253
You're just an asshole.

319
00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:15,422
I thought you were the ultimate rebel.

320
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:19,293
I actually looked up to you, and
you're nothing but a simple dick.

321
00:13:19,328 --> 00:13:20,494
And what are you?

322
00:13:20,529 --> 00:13:22,596
Dildo Shwaggins? Huh?

323
00:13:22,631 --> 00:13:25,265
You think you're a
fucking political activist

324
00:13:25,301 --> 00:13:27,768
holed up in your shitty
little midget condo?

325
00:13:27,803 --> 00:13:29,636
You're nothing but a
pissed off little giant

326
00:13:29,672 --> 00:13:32,940
lashing out at everyone
because you can't get laid.

327
00:13:32,975 --> 00:13:35,943
At least I have a reason to be angry.

328
00:13:36,494 --> 00:13:37,845
What do you have?

329
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,847
That it's funny?

330
00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:42,349
Hurting people is worth the laughs?

331
00:13:42,384 --> 00:13:44,852
Stop trolling me.

332
00:13:44,887 --> 00:13:48,489
One day, you're gonna wake up and
realize that you don't have anyone either.

333
00:13:48,524 --> 00:13:51,925
Stop fucking trolling me.

334
00:13:56,932 --> 00:13:59,666
♪ Ching Chong ching loo is Die ♪

335
00:14:02,571 --> 00:14:03,904
♪ Ching Chong ching loo is Die ♪

336
00:14:03,939 --> 00:14:05,973
We have it! We think we have it!

337
00:14:06,008 --> 00:14:07,808
The emoji analysis worked.

338
00:14:07,843 --> 00:14:11,044
We have found the IP address
of the troll who trolled us.

339
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,880
Triangulate the servers.

340
00:14:15,584 --> 00:14:17,985
Focus everything on that area.

341
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:22,055
It's time to see what
these puppies can do.

342
00:14:44,313 --> 00:14:47,681
Once again, if you live in
the city of Fort Collins,

343
00:14:47,716 --> 00:14:49,716
there is a chance that all your e-mails

344
00:14:49,752 --> 00:14:51,518
and your entire Internet history

345
00:14:51,554 --> 00:14:53,587
has been made accessible to the public.

346
00:14:58,094 --> 00:15:00,460
Who the fuck are these e-mails to?!

347
00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:04,565
And what the... what the
fuck is MarriedButHorny.com?!

348
00:15:08,759 --> 00:15:11,021
_

349
00:15:13,742 --> 00:15:15,409
Hello?

350
00:15:15,444 --> 00:15:18,045
I know where you live
now, you son a' bitch.

351
00:15:20,883 --> 00:15:22,216
I've been hacked!

352
00:15:22,251 --> 00:15:24,518
Help me! I've been hacked!

353
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,890
They'll never forgive me!

354
00:15:39,187 --> 00:15:41,935
They know everything I said about them!

355
00:15:41,971 --> 00:15:43,370
The entire club!

356
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:44,905
Get away from me!

357
00:15:45,741 --> 00:15:49,043
Hello, MLKKK.

358
00:15:49,489 --> 00:15:52,279
You called my daughter R2-D2.

359
00:15:52,314 --> 00:15:55,049
You know how long I've waited
for this day, you son a' bitch?

360
00:16:00,856 --> 00:16:02,289
Is he burnin', pa?

361
00:16:02,324 --> 00:16:05,626
He's burnin' bright, little girl.

362
00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:21,306
'Member which way we're going?

363
00:16:21,341 --> 00:16:22,641
I 'member.

364
00:16:22,676 --> 00:16:24,943
Hey, hey. 'Member the Ewok village?

365
00:16:24,978 --> 00:16:26,578
- Oh, I 'member!
- I 'member that.

366
00:16:26,613 --> 00:16:28,980
- Yeah, sure, I 'member.
- 'Member?

367
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:32,451
Oh, shit. Hang on.

368
00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:41,827
Hey, you shut the fuck up.

369
00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:43,295
Yeah, we're gonna kill you, 'member?

370
00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:46,264
Oh, I 'member.

371
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,034
♪ Gonna take a lot to
drag me away from you ♪

372
00:16:49,069 --> 00:16:51,203
- Oh, 'member this song?
- Sure, I 'member.

373
00:16:51,238 --> 00:16:53,605
I love this song. It
was fantastic! 'Member?

374
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,674
- Oh, I 'member.
- You 'member?

375
00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,275
'Member?

376
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,914
Complete panic and mass hysteria tonight

377
00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:05,884
as the city of Fort
Collins has been hacked.

378
00:17:05,919 --> 00:17:07,252
Oh, my God.

379
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,920
Oh, my God! They've done it.

380
00:17:08,956 --> 00:17:11,790
The Danish are taking
credit for the cyber attack,

381
00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:15,093
claiming it successfully
exposed a notorious troll.

382
00:17:15,129 --> 00:17:19,297
The man has been identified
as the Internet troll MLKKK

383
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:22,234
and was burned alive by
one of his apparent victims.

384
00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:23,435
Aah!

385
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,771
The Danish claim this
was only a beta test

386
00:17:25,806 --> 00:17:29,274
and soon the service will
be available worldwide.

387
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:31,076
Wait. So, like, they'll be releasing

388
00:17:31,111 --> 00:17:32,611
everyone's Internet history?

389
00:17:32,646 --> 00:17:34,279
Uh, I got to go.

390
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:35,414
No!

391
00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:36,948
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

392
00:17:38,485 --> 00:17:40,218
Dildo, they've done it!

393
00:17:40,254 --> 00:17:43,121
The Danish figured out how to
hack everyone's Internet history.

394
00:17:45,259 --> 00:17:46,625
Aah!

395
00:17:51,632 --> 00:17:52,964
Ah!

396
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,300
Dude, weak! Not cool!

397
00:17:59,106 --> 00:18:00,338
Not cool!

398
00:18:05,479 --> 00:18:08,013
Weak! Not cool!

399
00:18:08,048 --> 00:18:09,481
So weak!

400
00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:13,652
It's all falling apart.

401
00:18:13,687 --> 00:18:14,953
Weak!

402
00:18:17,191 --> 00:18:19,157
What is it, Eric? What's wrong?

403
00:18:20,861 --> 00:18:22,694
I-I-I
don't know.

404
00:18:22,729 --> 00:18:23,829
Come on.

405
00:18:23,864 --> 00:18:26,097
We don't keep secrets, remember?

406
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:27,833
It's just hard.

407
00:18:27,868 --> 00:18:30,869
You said you wanted to be
perfectly honest with me, always.

408
00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:32,471
And I do.

409
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:38,343
This one time, I think
it was over the summer,

410
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,887
I went to go see the
new "Ghostbusters" movie.

411
00:18:40,922 --> 00:18:41,780
Yeah?

412
00:18:41,815 --> 00:18:44,349
And... And during the movie, I was like,

413
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,884
"Wait. Where's my phone?"
And I couldn't find it.

414
00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:47,352
And then Jimmy said, "Ha,
ha. Screw you, Cartman,"

415
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,154
and he was holding my phone
and he ran off with it and said,

416
00:18:49,189 --> 00:18:50,555
"I'm gonna send a bunch of
texts and e-mails from your phone

417
00:18:50,591 --> 00:18:51,723
so everyone thinks they're from you."

418
00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:52,991
And I was like, "No! That's not cool!"

419
00:18:53,026 --> 00:18:54,526
And he said, "Yeah," and he
sent a bunch of mean stuff

420
00:18:54,561 --> 00:18:56,228
before I went to go get him
and I took my phone back.

421
00:18:56,263 --> 00:18:58,497
And I'm just worried that if... If
people look at my Internet history,

422
00:18:58,532 --> 00:19:01,071
they're gonna think that
all that stuff came from me!

423
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,902
Well, I'm glad you told
me, 'cause now I know.

424
00:19:03,937 --> 00:19:05,670
S-So you totally believe me?

425
00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:07,038
Of course.

426
00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:09,508
You've never given me a reason
not to believe you, babe.

427
00:19:10,577 --> 00:19:13,645
Cool!

428
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,347
You have no reason to worry.

429
00:19:15,382 --> 00:19:17,149
People will know it wasn't you.

430
00:19:17,184 --> 00:19:19,351
With emoji analysis,
everyone will be able to tell

431
00:19:19,386 --> 00:19:22,654
exactly where any comments came from.

432
00:19:23,557 --> 00:19:25,390
Ah! No!

433
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:26,858
No!

434
00:19:29,863 --> 00:19:32,230
My fellow Americans,

435
00:19:32,266 --> 00:19:37,035
we live in an unprecedented
time of uncertainty.

436
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:39,404
I want to speak to you, human to human,

437
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,106
because, with God's grace,

438
00:19:41,141 --> 00:19:44,376
this will be the last
time you ever hear from me.

439
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:46,444
When I started this campaign,

440
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,080
I was saying a lot of
shit because I was angry.

441
00:19:49,837 --> 00:19:52,717
And then I turned that
anger into pushing buttons

442
00:19:52,753 --> 00:19:55,687
by being more and more outrageous.

443
00:19:55,722 --> 00:19:58,089
Slowly, people started
paying attention to me,

444
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:00,859
and I guess it made me feel powerful.

445
00:20:00,894 --> 00:20:04,262
Well, now the chickens
have come home to roost.

446
00:20:04,298 --> 00:20:07,432
Sooner or later, we all get exposed.

447
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:11,903
We're all held accountable
for what we say and what we do.

448
00:20:11,939 --> 00:20:14,806
There's only one thing that matters now.

449
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:18,109
On November 8th, you
must vote against me

450
00:20:18,145 --> 00:20:20,645
and show the world that you didn't think

451
00:20:20,681 --> 00:20:23,381
the new "Star Wars" was all that good.

452
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:25,116
When you're in that voting booth,

453
00:20:25,152 --> 00:20:28,620
remember that every
vote for Hillary Clinton

454
00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:31,489
is a vote that shows the world we agree

455
00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:33,124
that "The Force Awakens"

456
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,095
was more like a "Happy Days"
reunion special than a movie.

457
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,664
The choice is yours, America.

458
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,634
Please make the right one.

459
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,137
The Danish claim they
will soon have the ability

460
00:20:46,173 --> 00:20:48,640
to publish anyone's Internet history.

461
00:20:48,675 --> 00:20:51,443
We have to act fast, Mrs. Sandwich.

462
00:20:51,478 --> 00:20:53,945
I'll have you treat
me with more respect.

463
00:20:53,981 --> 00:20:55,614
Haven't you seen the polls?

464
00:20:55,649 --> 00:20:57,816
It's President Elect Sandwich.

465
00:20:57,851 --> 00:21:00,352
We might not want to get
too far ahead of ourselves.

466
00:21:00,387 --> 00:21:02,120
Troll Trace must be stopped.

467
00:21:02,677 --> 00:21:06,658
Who is Skankhunt42?

468
00:21:06,693 --> 00:21:10,328
We believe... he's the only
one who can save you now.

469
00:21:14,968 --> 00:21:16,468
Here we are. We made it.

470
00:21:16,503 --> 00:21:17,702
We did?

471
00:21:17,738 --> 00:21:19,504
Yeah, we have to go
with plan "B," 'member?

472
00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:21,006
Ooh, I 'member!

473
00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:22,874
Sorry, asshole. End of the line for you.

474
00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:24,376
That's okay. I 'member.

475
00:21:28,415 --> 00:21:31,016
Here you are, ma'am. Gin and tonic.

476
00:21:31,769 --> 00:21:33,451
Thanks.

477
00:21:33,487 --> 00:21:36,721
Should be an interesting
election this year, huh?

478
00:21:38,525 --> 00:21:40,521
Buckle up, buckaroos.

479
00:21:41,705 --> 00:21:45,386
Sync and corrections by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com