1
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,546
Got a little treat for you tonight.
My first guest is a young man,

2
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,548
and when I say young man,
I mean a young man.

3
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,842
He's landed the lead role in an NBC pilot,

4
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,927
and he won that audition
with a song and dance routine,

5
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,680
and we thought he did it so well
that you might like to meet him tonight.

6
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,598
Would you welcome Reef Hawk.

7
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:57,975
Reef.

8
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,570
Give my regards to Broadway

9
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:13,699
Remember me to Herald Square

10
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:18,120
Tell all the gang
At 42nd Street

11
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:22,416
That I will soon be there

12
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:26,545
Whisper of how I'm yearning

13
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:30,632
To mingle with the old-time throng

14
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,511
Give my regards to Old Broadway

15
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:39,266
And tell 'em I'll be there 'ere long!

16
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:14,384
Give my regards to Old Broadway

17
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,720
And tell 'em I'll be there

18
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,847
Yeah, I'll be there

19
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:23,685
Yeah, I'll be there 'ere long

20
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:25,938
Yeah

21
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,273
Sure.

22
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,816
Sure.

23
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:41,203
Reef Hawk, for the last four decades,
America's favorite movie star.

24
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,580
What an unbelievable career you've had.

25
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,875
Starring in three
of the biggest franchises in film history,

26
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,502
winning two Oscars.

27
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,922
And this fall, you'll shoot
the biggest movie you've ever made.

28
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,133
You've had five years off to reflect.

29
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,761
I mean, is that what you're gonna say?
"Reflect"?

30
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,848
I mean, how are you going to frame
the five years thing?

31
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,892
Also, I should literally be
a famous-ass interviewer.

32
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,144
Even when I'm fake interviewing I'm, like,

33
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,563
- incredible at it.
- Incredible.

34
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,274
Thank you. So, what are you gonna say
about the five years thing?

35
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,527
Well, I was thinking I was going to say…

36
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:18,031
I've been working since I was six
and needed a break,

37
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:23,704
and that I needed to find out
who I was away from all this.

38
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,914
- I love that.
- That works. Totally.

39
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:31,003
I won't say that I was hiding a heroin
addiction from the public,

40
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:35,174
and that my best friends from high school
and my insane lawyer

41
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,925
helped me cover it up for years

42
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:40,429
- so no one ever found out.
- That is a really smart omission.

43
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,431
- Strong omish.
- No admish.

44
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:43,765
You're gonna be amazing, babe.

45
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:44,850
- You got this.
- Yeah.

46
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,393
I'm very lucky to have you two.

47
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:51,064
And thank you both for being here,
and thank you for helping me.

48
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,984
Yeah, babe. Now get out there
and tap-dance for Mommy.

49
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,612
Yeah, there are the jazz hands.

50
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:57,779
That's it.

51
00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:58,864
Two minutes.

52
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,908
All right, look. Before we get started,
I just gotta say

53
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,285
this is a career highlight for me.

54
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,704
You, Tom Cruise, Denzel,

55
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,749
- you're my favorite actors of all time.
- Thanks.

56
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:12,753
So, look, first we're gonna start off
with the box office records and…

57
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,505
- What?
- Do you… Do you mind?

58
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,341
I don't know if anyone talked to you but…

59
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,968
- Oh, my God. He's…
- Oh, my God.

60
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,887
- Oh, no.
- He's asking about the Oscar thing.

61
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:22,971
I know. I can tell.

62
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:27,476
When you introduce me,
would you mind not forgetting to say

63
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,938
"two-time Oscar winner"
before you say Reef Hawk?

64
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,856
Of course.
I was planning on doing it anyway.

65
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,566
I mean, I thought it was
something serious. Of course, man.

66
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,109
Yeah. I mean, I would…

67
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,820
I would never even say it.
It's just that sometimes

68
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,572
people forget.

69
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,032
Who forgets?

70
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,954
You are the most beloved movie star
in the world.

71
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,580
I'm just honored to have you on the show.

72
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,958
- It's gonna be a cakewalk for you.
- Thanks, man.

73
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,960
Hi. How are you?

74
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,879
We're Reef's best friends
from high school,

75
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,465
but, like, we have our own lives too.

76
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,551
- We're just here supporting him, yeah.
- Here to support.

77
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,345
But, listen, you are so fucking charming.

78
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,930
- Yeah.
- Enough of that.

79
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,890
I don't want to fan out too much.
You ready?

80
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:07,808
Yeah, let's go for it.

81
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:08,934
Let's go for it.

82
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,561
- Let's try one.
- We'll get one going. Here we go.

83
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,063
Three, two, one.

84
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:17,442
Tonight I'm interviewing somebody
I never thought I would interview.

85
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:21,530
I'm talking about a legend, an icon,
what is there even to say?

86
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,907
Reef Hawk is in the house.

87
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,200
Welcome.

88
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,327
Oh, wait. Sorry, I messed up.

89
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:28,912
I left out the Oscar part. I'm sorry.

90
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,122
Guys, got to do it again.

91
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,456
- Sorry about that.
- No. Oh, no.

92
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,749
- We're leaving this in.
- No, no, no.

93
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,835
No, we are not starting over.

94
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,838
People at home need to see this.

95
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:41,550
Let me tell you right now,
if I'm ever the kind of out-of-touch jerk

96
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:46,305
who needs to restart an intro
because you didn't mention an award,

97
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,934
brother, we got way bigger problems.

98
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,144
My man. My man.

99
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,479
Look, that's why the world loves you, man.

100
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,315
The real Reef Hawk. That's amazing.

101
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,900
Reef Hawk, are you ready?

102
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:01,153
- We're already started.
- Yes, we are.

103
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,115
- We've got to go.
- All right. Babe, babe.

104
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,117
I know you love MOPing with the crew,

105
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,286
but we're gonna hit crazy traffic
if we don't get out of here.

106
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,537
What's MOPing?

107
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,622
M-O-P.

108
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,248
Man-of-the-People-ing.

109
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:15,918
That's actually
pretty fucking funny, homey.

110
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,212
- Thanks.
- Yeah, we should get going.

111
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,838
All right, can I talk to you guys
for a second?

112
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:20,964
- Of course. Hey, guys.
- Yeah.

113
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,257
- Thanks so much.
- We're good.

114
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,675
- Thank you.
- Bye.

115
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:26,261
Did anyone else see
the silver fox eye-fucking me?

116
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,763
- What?
- I am so serious.

117
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,016
It was so blatant and out in the open,
I almost want to, like, write an op-ed.

118
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,100
- Really?
- But I liked it.

119
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,227
- Reef.
- Reef.

120
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,020
- Reef. Reef.
- What are you doing?

121
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,315
We don't know those guys.

122
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,943
They could literally go online
and say that I was, like,

123
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,445
being fake or MOPing
or whatever insult you just said,

124
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,573
and then people will think
that I'm like that.

125
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,242
- Okay.
- Okay.

126
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,035
- So…
- "So"?

127
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,038
That would be, like, a fucking disaster.

128
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,040
- Reef, chill out, dude.
- Yeah.

129
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,417
- Dude, take a deep breath, okay?
- Take a deep breath.

130
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,921
It's just…

131
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,340
It's just that you--

132
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:10,430
It's just that you're always being
watched these days and observed.

133
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,224
- Yeah.
- Everywhere.

134
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,809
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's really weird.

135
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,018
It's really weird.

136
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,729
Okay, but, babe, you just have to--

137
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,274
- It's okay.
- Yeah.

138
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,985
Look, it… This was, like,
a really stressful situation for you.

139
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,153
- Yeah.
- So just take a deep breath.

140
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,030
- It's all good.
- I'm sorry, okay?

141
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,282
- Yeah.
- I… I was just being dumb

142
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,825
- and trying to be funny, and…
- Yeah.

143
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,618
- No, I'm sorry.
- No, please.

144
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,912
- I have a lot of anxiety today. I just…
- Of course.

145
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,247
- It was huge.
- My bad.

146
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,790
- You don't have to do that.
- No, come on.

147
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:37,875
- Love you guys.
- Come here.

148
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,459
- You love us.
- You love us.

149
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,879
- I love you guys.
- We love you.

150
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,047
By the way, you were amazing.

151
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,924
- Oh, my gosh. He is a fan.
- You got everything you needed.

152
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,426
Yeah?

153
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,350
Shit.

154
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,940
- Hello.
- Bubbi, it's Ira.

155
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,150
We got a big fucking problem.

156
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,651
It's fucked up. It's really fucked up.

157
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,361
It's a total fucking nightmare.

158
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,197
I'll be over at 10:30 a.m. tomorrow.

159
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,657
I'll have my assistant text your assistant
my breakfast order.

160
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,492
Beg her not to fuck it up for me.

161
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,999
Do I have shit on my face?

162
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,542
- Yes.
- I do?

163
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,920
- Yes.
- Oh, my God. That's fucking embarrassing.

164
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,923
- Jesus.
- Ira, tell me what the fuck is going on.

165
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:26,965
There's a video.

166
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,592
Jesus fucking Christ.

167
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,427
- What's on it?
- I have no idea.

168
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,720
I thought you buried everything

169
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,890
that needed to be buried
without it getting out to the public.

170
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,809
When I got sober five years ago,
I changed my life.

171
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:41,020
And thank God you did.
But since you've been out of the game,

172
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,105
everything's changed.

173
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,816
For the record, you are the GOAT.
The true GOAT, Bubbi.

174
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,277
You were the best to ever do it.
I swear to God.

175
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:51,073
I hate to say it, but it's nice to be back
on the fucking court with ya.

176
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,741
We used to be out here in these streets

177
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,410
smashing fucking concrete,
getting our hands dirty.

178
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,037
Hollywood was our goddamn glory hole.

179
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,456
These kids today,
they don't know how we used to do it.

180
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,708
You, me, Rourke, little Chucky Sheen,

181
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,086
Stephen Hawking, you know,
the original Pussy Posse?

182
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,838
You boys kept me busy, didn't ya?

183
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:09,049
Can't you just make this go away
like you always used to?

184
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,301
I can't, Bubbi.
The Internet changed everything.

185
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,553
I know you're panicked,

186
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,889
and we used to get this shit wrapped up
with a briefcase of cash in a day or two.

187
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,349
It ain't like that anymore.

188
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,018
You can text me or call me

189
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,855
twenty-four hours a day,
just like the old days.

190
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,899
Except for Tuesdays
from 3:00 p.m. till about 10:00 p.m.

191
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,484
What's on Tuesdays?

192
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,403
Personal shit. Don't worry about it.

193
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,655
What?

194
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,491
Are you okay?

195
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,452
Do I have to be in here?

196
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,121
Can't I just wait until you're done?

197
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,039
Bubbi, I'm on a massive time crunch.

198
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,124
By the way,

199
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,751
- I love this gay wallpaper.
- Thanks.

200
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,378
Xander bought all the art in the house.

201
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,629
Very colorful.

202
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,715
Very gay and classy.

203
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,176
Look, Bubbi, there are some steps
we can take in the meantime

204
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,260
while we're waiting this out.

205
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,429
But I need you to be
completely honest with me.

206
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,472
There are no more secrets between us.

207
00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:00,392
Look into my eyes.
Do not break eye contact with me, Bubbi.

208
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,019
Have you ever killed someone?

209
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,271
No, Ira. I've never killed someone.

210
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,898
I can't wipe my ass with this.

211
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,735
This performative, "I'm a good person,"
environmental toilet paper.

212
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,403
- What's your assistant's name?
- Sammy.

213
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,696
- Sammy!
- Yeah?

214
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:13,947
Come in here.

215
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,451
Can you go into the master
and bring the toilet paper here?

216
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,411
- The good toilet paper.
- The good toilet paper.

217
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,246
- Yeah.
- And, Bubbi, just real quick,

218
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,623
it's primary not master.

219
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,291
- What thread count is it?
- Sorry.

220
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,542
I don't know, Ira.

221
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,337
- It's Scott from the store.
- Toss it, let me see.

222
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:30,672
Jesus Christ.

223
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:31,840
It smells like…

224
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,593
like earring backs in here.

225
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,470
Yes. That means you're healthy.

226
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,140
What the fuck?

227
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:41,558
Cover your mouth. That's disgusting.

228
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,185
- You've got germs.
- I'm… I'm sorry, I--

229
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,479
- Besides the health stuff, it's so rude.
- I'm sorry.

230
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,815
Aside from me getting sick, it's rude

231
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,651
because those particles fly
into my nose and m…

232
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:51,860
- Do y… Can you--
- Sammy, just--

233
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,071
Actually, is this fucked up
to say I kind of like this?

234
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,697
Turn around, Bubbi, eye contact.

235
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,032
Come closer.

236
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,993
- Have you ever killed someone?
- No, Ira.

237
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,328
Okay.

238
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,830
Bubbi, I'm not a judgy person.

239
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:07,501
I'm more of a "you do you,
I'ma go ahead and do me," girl.

240
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,877
Ira!

241
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,172
I have never killed someone!

242
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:14,591
For real!

243
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:21,306
You're making me uncomfortable
with your anger.

244
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,726
And I think that's
something we should look at.

245
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,937
You can have at the scraps.

246
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,899
- I'm sorry, what?
- You can have at the scraps.

247
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,443
That's really nice of you, Ira. Thank you.

248
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,320
You know, she's actually great.

249
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,364
- Yeah.
- I like her. Next, have you ever watched

250
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,448
- anyone be killed?
- No, Ira.

251
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,825
Have you ever paid someone
to kill someone?

252
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,243
- No.
- Have you ever fucked a dead person?

253
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,744
- No.
- Has a dead person ever fucked you?

254
00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,162
No!

255
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,581
How does that even work?

256
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,916
Let's just say it starts with Mel Gibson
and a whole lot of poppers,

257
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,252
and ends two decks over with
the 10:00 a.m. Nate'n Al's breakfast.

258
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,420
You do the math, gorgeous.

259
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:55,507
Just to be clear, you're saying
how a corpse fucks a human being

260
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:58,427
is that Mel Gibson takes poppers?

261
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,179
You're saying that. You're saying that.

262
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,014
I would never betray a client like that,

263
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,724
and I'm offended
you would even suggest it.

264
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,768
I would lose my license to practice law
in the state of California if I did.

265
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:10,230
But just between us,
it's pretty fucked up actually.

266
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,357
They partied with the guy
like he was alive all weekend.

267
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,151
They actually made
a cute little picture about it.

268
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,527
Weekend at Bernie's?

269
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,654
Yes, Weekend at Bernie's, Bubbi.

270
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,115
You're hysterical.

271
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,075
You've gotten funnier.

272
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,870
I need to know everyone who hates you.

273
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,206
Who hates me?

274
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,790
Fuck.

275
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,670
My first manager
from when I was a kid probably.

276
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:37,591
Good, right. The guy who represents kid
actors and works out of the bowling alley.

277
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:38,926
Who else?

278
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,846
My old on-and-off ex-girlfriend, Savannah.

279
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,723
Okay, and?

280
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,560
- Who else?
- That's it.

281
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,523
Who hates him?

282
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,107
What?

283
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,985
Who hates him?

284
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,529
Well, off the top of my head,

285
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,949
your old manager,
your old trainer, your new trainer,

286
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,201
your old pool guy,
your old, old pool guys,

287
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,285
your mom.

288
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:06,453
Your mom hates you.

289
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,248
Those three shelter dogs
that you got when you were lonely

290
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,917
and then returned when you realized,
like, they don't wipe their own asses,

291
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,460
and I sure as fuck wasn't gonna do it.

292
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,839
Your old boxing coach,
your old tennis instructor, your ex,

293
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,966
and I have, like, a separate list for,
like, directors, actors,

294
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,593
costume designers, hair and makeup people,
craft service, whatever, la-da-da-da-da,

295
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:24,179
and, like, executives that you've worked
with if you want me to start on that.

296
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:25,430
Jesus Christ.

297
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,515
Sorry.

298
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:30,978
Can I just say something?
My old trainer doesn't hate me,

299
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,021
because he passed away.

300
00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:36,191
- Okay.
- I'm just saying.

301
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,235
Hey,

302
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,488
I believe you, pal, I really do.
That's… That's awesome.

303
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,701
You need to go see these people
and apologize to them.

304
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,035
Make it right with them.

305
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:50,330
And without them realizing it, feel out
if they're the ones behind the video.

306
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,749
I don't know if I can do that, Ira.

307
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,209
That's way too intense.

308
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,044
Bubbi, you don't have to mean it.

309
00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:59,256
You just have to go through the motions
of apologizing to save your ass.

310
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,133
All right, Bubbi, I gotta get going.

311
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:02,801
Tom Hanks body-slammed his housekeeper.

312
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,136
It's not as bad as it sounds.

313
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,555
They were just roughhousing,
but she is in her 70s.

314
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:07,973
Shouldn't be horsing around like that.

315
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,392
So, I should get over to Cedars
and make sure shit's kosher.

316
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,436
By the way,
incredible crushed ice at Cedars.

317
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,021
I'll let you know if I hear anything.

318
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:47,137
My assistant said all of these
people don't like me.

319
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,555
Was I an asshole?

320
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,315
Do you want to take longer to answer that?

321
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,942
- Just to people you interacted with.
- Yeah.

322
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,276
- Not like fans and stuff.
- No.

323
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:05,197
I think there maybe was a time
where your success did go to your head.

324
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,990
And maybe you weren't, like,

325
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,493
super considerate
about how you spoke to people.

326
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,036
And now you're very aware.

327
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:14,289
But up until, like, a few years ago,
you could kind of get away with

328
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,874
being a secret dick.

329
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:19,044
We've known each other for 40 years. We've
been there and supported one another.

330
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,172
We have always known
the person that was in there.

331
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,216
Yeah, and go easy on yourself.

332
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,301
You were literally on drugs.

333
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,970
It's way easier to support you

334
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,179
now that you're sober.

335
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:32,224
I mean, at least we don't have to come
grab you out of that creepy doll store

336
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,351
you used to buy heroin at downtown.

337
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,396
I mean, you know how many
empty, naked baby dolls

338
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,940
I had to explain to the housekeeper?
Yeah, I had to look up in Spanish,

339
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,484
"Don't worry, Maria. It's no for sexual.

340
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:43,902
It's for drug."

341
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:47,364
By the way, zero parking
at the heroin doll store downtown.

342
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:51,994
Yeah.

343
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:55,914
It got bad.

344
00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,542
It got really scary.

345
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,045
I don't ever want to see
that look in your eye again.

346
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:05,924
You never will.

347
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,677
So, let's do what Ira says.

348
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,263
Make the apologies
and find out who's extorting you.

349
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,473
He always gets you out of this stuff.

350
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:14,474
It's going to be so fun.

351
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:17,895
I'm already putting together a playlist
for the apology/who's-extorting-Reef tour.

352
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:19,771
Hey, Siri,

353
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,273
whip me up a playlist

354
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,276
for a middle-aged man
in extreme state of crisis.

355
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,861
But keep it fun and slutty.

356
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,362
And skinny.

357
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,798
If the party's where you're at
Then let me know

358
00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:49,301
Said, uh, don't be trippin'
When you see us in the club

359
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,346
I will say, I kind of hate extortion,

360
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,640
but the upside is that we all get
to drive around together

361
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,683
like the dumb sluts we used to be
in high school.

362
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,477
And I am obsessed

363
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,103
- with that part of extortion.
- Beyond.

364
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:03,315
What I really enjoy about it
is that we get to be here with you…

365
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,398
- Yes.
- …Reef.

366
00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,401
And guess what else I brought with me?

367
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,445
OMG. Are we going to smoke?

368
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,907
We're not going to smoke. We're 120, okay?

369
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,243
- We're going to fake smoke.
- Yes.

370
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,371
I cannot believe kids vape these days.

371
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:20,582
- They are so gay.
- They… They're so lame.

372
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,167
If I saw a kid vaping,
I would literally run over to him,

373
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:26,171
push him over and just be like,
"Nice look, virgin."

374
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,260
They're literally an oral fedora.

375
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,720
Fuck. I haven't seen this guy
in like 30 years,

376
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:36,557
and now I'm gonna be late
to apologize, and I…

377
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,392
I'm gonna look like
even more of an asshole.

378
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:42,187
I've always said it's not an amends
unless you power top it.

379
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,565
Just get in there
and just dom it out, babe.

380
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,068
I love outlandish humor with my friends.

381
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:54,157
You know, kid, I found this guy Reef
over at Oakwoods, same as you,

382
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,076
and I signed him.

383
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,245
At this booth.

384
00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,454
Same as you.

385
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:00,747
Right here at this booth.

386
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,917
Reef, can't wait to work with you.

387
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:06,086
I know our schedules will line up
one of these days.

388
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,629
Can you imagine them

389
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:11,049
letting us two silverbacks
pound our chests in the same cage?

390
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,843
I'd sit down and order a salad,

391
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,052
but I've got a 4:30 callback

392
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,971
- for that Valtrex commercial.
- Valtrex?

393
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,807
Yeah. I'm reading for the grandson
of the woman who has genital herpes.

394
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,559
It's actually quite a complex character.

395
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,394
I love that. Is Ellen casting it?

396
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,730
- Yep. Ellen's such a sweet girl, huh?
- Okay. I know she is.

397
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,814
And we love her.

398
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:28,108
Fuck me. I'm late.

399
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:29,276
Beautiful day, guys.

400
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,028
Okay. Hey, knock 'em dead, will you?

401
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,613
Always do and will do.

402
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:34,907
Oh, wow.

403
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,915
Quit cigs. Sixteen days now.

404
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:43,999
Sorry.

405
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,460
- That's awesome, Red.
- Yes, thank you.

406
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,170
Red Rodriguez.

407
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,631
Manager to the stars.

408
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,466
Always bet on Red, baby.

409
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,550
Yeah.

410
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,512
Still out here hustling.

411
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,392
Red.

412
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,564
I came here to apologize to you.

413
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,693
Can I ask you something, Reef?

414
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,195
Of course.

415
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:16,740
What are you sorry for?

416
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:21,078
I'm really sorry I fired you.

417
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:30,462
You know, I remember
when I met you by the pool,

418
00:19:31,255 --> 00:19:33,298
and you had no front teeth, you know?

419
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:35,968
You were so fucking adorable.

420
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,596
You were really there for me at that time.

421
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,307
I was, I was.

422
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,978
But you had this fucking light in you.

423
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,564
You'd light up my days.

424
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:51,149
And I'm not just talking about the work.
The work was always brilliant.

425
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,609
But you…

426
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:55,654
Well, you started getting jobs,

427
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:58,282
and there he is.

428
00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:02,244
There he is, huh?

429
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:06,039
And I was fucking proud, I gotta tell you,
and not just because I'm your manager but…

430
00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,124
You know,

431
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:12,212
it was almost as if it was me, in a way,
I was so proud.

432
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,507
Then you start running around Hollywood,

433
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,467
and you're getting
some bit parts in movies,

434
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,344
you're hitting the clubs,
you're getting some pussy,

435
00:20:19,428 --> 00:20:20,929
and I'm getting nervous.

436
00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:24,266
Not just 'cause I don't want you
to get in trouble for your career,

437
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,561
but I'm worried about you
getting in trouble for you.

438
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:30,814
And I hear things.

439
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:33,233
I mean, weed and all that I know, okay,

440
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:34,985
but I hear the harder stuff.

441
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:37,196
The harder stuff.

442
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:41,408
And I didn't know how to handle it,
you know?

443
00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,911
I did the best I could at that time.

444
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,623
I wanted to smack the shit out of you,

445
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,458
but I still worked for you.

446
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,294
Really, honestly,
I didn't know what my role was.

447
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,006
You know, in that whole thing.
I just didn't know.

448
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:02,513
Maybe I handled it right,
maybe I did the right thing…

449
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:05,849
maybe I didn't.

450
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:10,938
I really don't know. I don't know
what's right or wrong in this situation.

451
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,273
Anyway.

452
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:15,692
Look, I didn't expect you to stay.
I didn't expect that.

453
00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:18,320
I know… I know I'm a joke to you guys now.

454
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,531
The bowling alley, the roulette wheel.

455
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:22,866
I know who the fuck I am.

456
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:25,118
I know what the fuck I am.

457
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:30,332
Which is, I'm the guy you leave
if I do my job right.

458
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,000
Okay?

459
00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:33,877
I know that. It's all right.

460
00:21:37,214 --> 00:21:39,049
I loved all you crazy little cocksuckers.

461
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,342
I really did.

462
00:21:40,843 --> 00:21:42,094
But you were different, you see.

463
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:43,804
You were different. You were like…

464
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:46,431
You were like family to me.

465
00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:48,684
Yeah.

466
00:21:52,229 --> 00:21:53,272
Yeah.

467
00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:59,820
And you know, what gets me is that not one
of you guys ever picked up the phone.

468
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:02,781
Not one.

469
00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:04,867
Every time with you guys,

470
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:07,244
the last time we spoke
was the last time we spoke.

471
00:22:09,246 --> 00:22:12,332
I mean, all I ever wanted was
to pick up the phone and hear,

472
00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,085
"Hey, Red."

473
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:22,968
Could've called me.

474
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:28,724
I didn't have your number.

475
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,538
Hi.

476
00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:53,373
I just want to say I'm a big fan.

477
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:56,460
- Thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you.
- Yeah.

478
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:57,961
Mate, you're Reef fucking Hawk.

479
00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,379
Fuck! You fucking serious?

480
00:22:59,463 --> 00:23:01,715
- There was a period where I did not…
- …ecstasy on a night out…

481
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:02,925
…speak to my son for three years.

482
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,760
…11 years ago in Sydney.

483
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,178
…you and Sean Penn.

484
00:23:06,261 --> 00:23:08,096
I chucked it in the dumpo
'cause she was on the blob.

485
00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:11,767
Aside from my feelings on the film,
technically, it's astonishing.

486
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:14,269
I must admit,
I feel like you chucked it in my dumpo.

487
00:23:14,353 --> 00:23:15,687
Oh, actually.

488
00:23:15,771 --> 00:23:17,231
What's your phone number?

489
00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,988
Hey, pal, excuse me. Yo.

490
00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:27,074
Hey, I don't want to interrupt you.
I never do this.

491
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:28,116
I'm a big fan.

492
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,494
I'm not here to blow you up or bug you.

493
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:34,581
I just want to tell you I'm renting this
for a while, wanted to introduce myself.

494
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,751
- Reef.
- Yeah, no, I know.

495
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,338
I'm Buddy. I'm everybody's buddy.

496
00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:43,924
We're having some people over today.

497
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:46,510
If we make noise,
some rap music or something, just tell me.

498
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,720
We got tons of food.
We're gonna have some celebs.

499
00:23:48,804 --> 00:23:50,055
Cool, awesome.

500
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:54,184
Hon, the McLaren's taking up both spots,
and Yudi's pulling up from Nobu.

501
00:23:54,268 --> 00:23:55,269
I'll take care of it.

502
00:23:55,352 --> 00:23:56,687
Honey, get off your feet.
You gotta lay down.

503
00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:59,940
How many cigarettes did Dr. Crane say
I could smoke while pregnant again?

504
00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:01,567
He said zero.

505
00:24:02,651 --> 00:24:04,695
Hey, I know you. You dated my grandma.

506
00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:07,406
That's Reef.

507
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:08,699
Nice to meet you, Queef.

508
00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:14,079
Fucking shit, dude.

509
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,539
Having my first kid.

510
00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:17,291
Well, congrats.

511
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:19,126
I'm like a kid having a kid.

512
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:20,836
But I'm under 60.

513
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,380
That's what they call a Malibu teen dad.

514
00:24:25,591 --> 00:24:26,633
You got kids?

515
00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:28,385
No.

516
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,761
Oh, yeah. I read that.

517
00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:32,639
Fuck, you're lucky, dude.

518
00:24:32,723 --> 00:24:35,851
You just get to party 24-7.
I gotta deal with this shit.

519
00:24:37,311 --> 00:24:39,104
Anyway, all love, homey.

520
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:41,148
Have a good one.

521
00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:43,859
I always do and I will do.

522
00:24:46,612 --> 00:24:48,697
"Man's Search for Meaning."

523
00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:50,741
It's like the most lit Holocaust book.

524
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:53,619
My therapist gave me this one
after my parents' divorce.

525
00:24:53,702 --> 00:24:57,581
And, like, in a way, the divorce was
my family's personal Holocaust.

526
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,834
You know? Like, the mistress was Hitler.

527
00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:03,295
My mom was like Jesse Jackson,

528
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,964
that black guy that won that medal
'cause he ran really fast.

529
00:25:06,048 --> 00:25:08,509
- Jesse Owens.
- Jesse Owens.

530
00:25:08,592 --> 00:25:10,469
And I was like Anne Frank.

531
00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:13,055
You know, because I was, like, hiding
from my shame.

532
00:25:13,138 --> 00:25:15,599
This book taught me, like,
not to hide anymore.

533
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:18,560
And I don't think you should either,
so I'm giving this to you.

534
00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:19,937
It would be good for you.

535
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,313
Excuse me.

536
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,398
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna give you some privacy.

537
00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:25,526
Ira, what's happening?

538
00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:26,985
Fuck, Bubbi, I'm so glad
I caught you. Holy shit.

539
00:25:27,069 --> 00:25:29,029
- What is it?
- Did you see a pair of sunglasses

540
00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:29,947
after I left your house?

541
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,907
I'm, like, fucked up looking for 'em.
They're Chanel.

542
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:33,534
Ira, are you fucking kidding me?

543
00:25:33,617 --> 00:25:35,494
No, no, I know. I never splurge like that.

544
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:38,247
Ira, you scared the shit out of me.
I thought something had leaked,

545
00:25:38,330 --> 00:25:40,082
or something fucked had happened
with the video.

546
00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:42,626
- Oh, shit. Did something happen?
- I'm asking you!

547
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:45,712
- Are you fucking serious?
- Bubbi, I'm fucking with you.

548
00:25:45,796 --> 00:25:47,714
But for real though,
shit is not going well.

549
00:25:47,798 --> 00:25:48,799
I got nothing on my side.

550
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:51,468
You gotta keep apologizing to people.
All right?

551
00:25:51,552 --> 00:25:53,554
Oh, hey, Bubbi,
sorry if I sound distracted.

552
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:54,805
I'm getting an IV drip right now.

553
00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:57,599
I'm also doing couples therapy
and playing chess.

554
00:25:57,683 --> 00:25:59,434
I'll call you back when I hear something.

555
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:06,984
So, do you, like, want me to pretend
that I don't know what's going on

556
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:09,319
to, like, make things easier for you or…

557
00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:11,238
or… or what?

558
00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:12,656
Let me think on it.

559
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:16,952
I may just want to pretend things are not
insane with one person in my life.

560
00:26:17,035 --> 00:26:18,036
Sure.

561
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,247
What extortion?

562
00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,376
Thanks, Sammy.

563
00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:27,671
It's been so long, Mom.

564
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,757
It has.

565
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:34,678
I have a lot to…

566
00:26:37,264 --> 00:26:39,308
apologize to you for.

567
00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:44,563
For starters, I was often very rude

568
00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:50,027
about you participating
in this kind of entertainment.

569
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:51,695
I'm sorry for that.

570
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:57,951
Fuck, sorry.

571
00:26:58,035 --> 00:27:00,037
Could we try that one more time, hon?

572
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,164
The label wasn't cheated
towards the camera.

573
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:04,458
And that was such a great
fucking emotional moment.

574
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:06,543
I'm so fucking touched. Genuinely.

575
00:27:06,627 --> 00:27:10,214
I just have to be sure it's usable
because my content partners need it.

576
00:27:10,297 --> 00:27:13,342
Sometimes you gotta tickle their balls
so Mommy can get her beak wet.

577
00:27:14,259 --> 00:27:18,764
My son may be a star,
but I'm a whole damn planet.

578
00:27:22,309 --> 00:27:25,229
This is so triggering and fucked up
for so many reasons,

579
00:27:25,312 --> 00:27:26,939
I can't even begin to tell you.

580
00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:29,733
Didn't you come here to apologize to me?

581
00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:33,570
Yeah. And you'd only receive the apology
if we did it on the show,

582
00:27:33,654 --> 00:27:36,990
which makes my skin crawl
that you're even on in the first place.

583
00:27:37,074 --> 00:27:40,410
Okay, we'll get to that in one second,
you pretentious little fuck.

584
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,665
But for starters,
you showed up, didn't you?

585
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,542
You're a little truffle-sniffing
fame piggy,

586
00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,919
- just like Mommy.
- I wanted to please you.

587
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,381
I became famous to please you.

588
00:27:52,464 --> 00:27:55,551
I supported your career,
day in and day out,

589
00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,261
for nine years of my life.

590
00:27:57,344 --> 00:28:00,848
I wanted a parent,
not a business collaborator.

591
00:28:00,931 --> 00:28:04,476
When you were a little kid,
you begged me every day to be on TV.

592
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,561
Begged me.

593
00:28:05,644 --> 00:28:08,856
I'm talking tantrums, days-long tantrums.

594
00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:13,110
Fits, making scenes, screaming,
carrying on.

595
00:28:13,193 --> 00:28:14,736
I didn't know what to do.

596
00:28:14,820 --> 00:28:17,281
I was 25 and you were 6.

597
00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:22,661
So I moved us across the country,
away from your father, my husband,

598
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:25,956
away from my parents, my support system,

599
00:28:26,456 --> 00:28:29,710
into a shitty little month-to-month
in the Valley

600
00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:32,838
so I could take you
to auditions every day.

601
00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:34,840
You were my focus.

602
00:28:36,008 --> 00:28:37,509
Your father left us.

603
00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:39,803
Not just you, he left me too.

604
00:28:39,887 --> 00:28:41,805
I sacrificed my marriage.

605
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:48,270
Who were you sacrificing anything for
when you were 25, Reef?

606
00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:51,481
But then something amazing happened.

607
00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,735
Your fucking dreams came true.

608
00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:58,447
And I went from being a little nobody
in the middle of nowhere

609
00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:03,327
to, suddenly, my son singing and dancing
on The Tonight Show.

610
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,163
You became a big, famous actor.

611
00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:09,166
You got everything you ever wanted.

612
00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:11,793
Mom.

613
00:29:13,587 --> 00:29:14,755
I was a kid.

614
00:29:16,924 --> 00:29:19,134
Kids don't know what they want.

615
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:22,679
Kids want to be astronauts.

616
00:29:22,763 --> 00:29:26,058
Yeah, and some of them
actually do become astronauts,

617
00:29:26,141 --> 00:29:28,894
the ones whose dreams are supported
by their mothers.

618
00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:32,147
Mom, I felt used and exploited.

619
00:29:33,148 --> 00:29:36,735
You stopped seeing me
when I got on this show.

620
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,322
You stopped talking to me.

621
00:29:41,114 --> 00:29:42,407
Your fucking mother.

622
00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:53,418
You're right.

623
00:29:57,965 --> 00:29:58,966
I'm sorry.

624
00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:02,553
That's not okay.

625
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,644
Can we take that
from after "You're right,"

626
00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:12,896
but before "Sorry, that's not okay"?

627
00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,023
I want to get a different reaction
on my side.

628
00:30:15,107 --> 00:30:17,860
Jesus fucking Christ!

629
00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:20,445
- You see?
- What?

630
00:30:20,529 --> 00:30:23,740
You even take a moment like that
and make it for the show.

631
00:30:23,824 --> 00:30:26,159
You make it for show.

632
00:30:26,702 --> 00:30:29,288
I was actually feeling in that moment.

633
00:30:29,371 --> 00:30:31,582
I didn't say anything about your take.

634
00:30:32,082 --> 00:30:35,544
I bought it.
Your delivery was very strong.

635
00:30:35,627 --> 00:30:39,715
I just wanted one where I cry
and one where I don't on my side,

636
00:30:39,798 --> 00:30:41,717
so the editor will have options.

637
00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:44,845
What even is an apology, Reef?

638
00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:46,889
Is it for you? Is it for me?

639
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:50,976
Isn't an apology just a show also?

640
00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:53,437
This was such a fucked idea.

641
00:30:55,147 --> 00:30:56,648
You are such a scorched unit.

642
00:30:56,732 --> 00:30:59,193
Not everything is one thing, Reef.

643
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,820
Yes, I want to be great on the show,

644
00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:04,489
but I mean everything
that was in this conversation.

645
00:31:04,990 --> 00:31:08,327
Just because the cameras are rolling
doesn't mean it's not real.

646
00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:12,289
Just because it's performative
doesn't mean that it's not the truth.

647
00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:13,790
Why can't it be both?

648
00:31:15,167 --> 00:31:18,670
You and I see things
so fucking differently, Reef.

649
00:31:19,588 --> 00:31:21,173
I've accepted that.

650
00:31:21,256 --> 00:31:23,342
I hope you can too one day.

651
00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:26,261
I'm not trying to change you.

652
00:31:27,804 --> 00:31:29,431
So don't try and change me.

653
00:31:36,730 --> 00:31:39,316
Kyle, your abstinence dog is out here.

654
00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:42,903
Do you want me to let him in
or do you a favor and put it down

655
00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:44,279
so someone will date you?

656
00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:48,158
Just put it under the window
over there, guys. Thanks.

657
00:31:48,242 --> 00:31:50,494
I should not be
lifting this couch right now.

658
00:31:50,577 --> 00:31:52,329
I have been so nauseous today.

659
00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:54,915
Babe. Maybe you're pregnant.

660
00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:57,668
Has that unhoused gentleman
outside of General Nutrition

661
00:31:57,751 --> 00:31:59,711
that you've been
romantically intertwined with

662
00:31:59,795 --> 00:32:01,421
not been using contraception?

663
00:32:03,590 --> 00:32:04,716
- Babe.
- Yeah?

664
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:07,302
I'm as at risk of getting pregnant
as you are.

665
00:32:08,220 --> 00:32:09,596
- Because you're old.
- Yeah.

666
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,181
That's the meaning of that bit.

667
00:32:11,265 --> 00:32:12,850
Just making sure
you understood the math of it.

668
00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:14,893
Oh, yeah, no. I… I got it. Thanks.

669
00:32:14,977 --> 00:32:18,188
And Reef, I know you can't handle
any of the Housewives stuff…

670
00:32:18,272 --> 00:32:19,523
- Yeah.
- …but, like, your mom

671
00:32:19,606 --> 00:32:21,441
is so fucking major and iconic.

672
00:32:21,525 --> 00:32:23,068
Like, what was she wearing?

673
00:32:23,151 --> 00:32:24,152
I need details.

674
00:32:24,236 --> 00:32:26,196
Babe, lay off the mom stuff, okay?

675
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,282
Even though we're all dying to know
what she was wearing.

676
00:32:28,365 --> 00:32:29,741
No, it's okay.

677
00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:30,993
But it's not her.

678
00:32:32,452 --> 00:32:33,453
It's not her.

679
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,041
Okay.

680
00:32:42,004 --> 00:32:44,047
Reef, Reef, Reef!

681
00:32:55,475 --> 00:32:57,769
- Hello.
- Be in my office, one hour.

682
00:32:57,853 --> 00:32:59,980
I got the fucking dream team
assembled for you, Bubbi.

683
00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:01,398
One hour. Be here.

684
00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:09,573
Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today
because I have assembled

685
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:12,242
the greatest group ever
to protect our boy, Reef Hawk,

686
00:33:12,326 --> 00:33:15,537
and bathe him in the waters
of our combined genius.

687
00:33:16,496 --> 00:33:17,497
Nothing?

688
00:33:17,998 --> 00:33:18,999
Prince?

689
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,001
Whatever.

690
00:33:21,084 --> 00:33:24,796
Reef, I would now like to introduce you
to your new crisis team.

691
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,800
Or as I call them,
the R-R-R-R-R-R-Reef Unit.

692
00:33:30,177 --> 00:33:31,428
Didn't land.

693
00:33:31,512 --> 00:33:32,596
Okay. Tough room.

694
00:33:33,180 --> 00:33:35,682
I'll start with one of the greatest
to ever do it.

695
00:33:35,766 --> 00:33:39,436
One of the world's most renowned lawyers,

696
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:44,316
the most legendary advocate
for women whose rights have been violated!

697
00:33:44,399 --> 00:33:47,736
Her legal reach is wide and long,

698
00:33:47,819 --> 00:33:50,405
and, my man,
you know she doesn't mind that!

699
00:33:50,906 --> 00:33:51,907
Ira.

700
00:33:51,990 --> 00:33:57,412
Ladies and gentlemen,
Virginia Allen-Green!

701
00:33:58,372 --> 00:33:59,831
Reef, it's nice to meet you.

702
00:33:59,915 --> 00:34:04,461
Don't you represent women
who are victims of terrible men?

703
00:34:04,545 --> 00:34:05,629
Not if I hire her first.

704
00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:07,381
I'm not… I didn't, like…

705
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,257
- Oh, I know. I know.
- Oh, we know.

706
00:34:09,341 --> 00:34:11,217
- Bubbi, we know.
- I wouldn't have accepted this

707
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:14,847
if I thought this was
a MeToo type of thing.

708
00:34:15,889 --> 00:34:17,558
- But if it is--
- It's not.

709
00:34:17,641 --> 00:34:18,809
- We know.
- No, no.

710
00:34:18,891 --> 00:34:20,310
- I know. She knows.
- I know, I know.

711
00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:21,353
- We know, we know.
- Yeah.

712
00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:23,021
- We know. We know.
- We know. We know.

713
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:24,438
I, of course, know.

714
00:34:24,523 --> 00:34:27,734
But if it is, you're gonna want
Virginia here, Bubbi.

715
00:34:27,818 --> 00:34:30,112
Speaking of,
I would now like to introduce you

716
00:34:30,195 --> 00:34:33,489
to the third in our Three Tenors
of naughtiness.

717
00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:39,288
Ladies and gentlemen,
the sultan of social justice,

718
00:34:39,371 --> 00:34:42,416
the rabbi of race relations!

719
00:34:44,918 --> 00:34:47,129
He's bringing sexy back

720
00:34:47,629 --> 00:34:49,089
…to the Civil Rights Movement.

721
00:34:49,172 --> 00:34:50,174
Ira.

722
00:34:50,257 --> 00:34:54,678
He's been preaching since age three,
and, boy, is his soul tired!

723
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:59,016
The Reverend Leondrus Carter!

724
00:34:59,641 --> 00:35:00,642
Shut the fuck up, Ira.

725
00:35:00,726 --> 00:35:02,603
He's still sore about last time
we worked together.

726
00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:04,605
Yeah, because you completely ruined
the entire thing

727
00:35:04,688 --> 00:35:06,523
and embarrassed the shit out of me
and my client.

728
00:35:06,607 --> 00:35:08,817
Here we go again. Did you follow
the Jussie Smollett thing?

729
00:35:08,901 --> 00:35:12,070
The two racist guys
who beat up the Black actor,

730
00:35:12,154 --> 00:35:13,989
and it ended up being set up by him?

731
00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:16,909
Leon and I came up with that
at lunch one day. It's a killer idea.

732
00:35:16,992 --> 00:35:19,703
We pitched it around town and Jussie was
the most passionate about the project.

733
00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:21,330
Sometimes these things are
reverse engineered

734
00:35:21,413 --> 00:35:23,040
where the idea comes before the talent.

735
00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:25,000
You know, like when a movie studio has
a franchise,

736
00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:27,628
- but they don't have a star attached?
- Then tell him what happened, Ira.

737
00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:30,088
You're such a fucking hypocrite, Leon.
You're one of my best friends,

738
00:35:30,172 --> 00:35:32,341
I love you more than life itself,
but you're a hypocrite.

739
00:35:32,424 --> 00:35:34,885
You're always on me
about hiring more Black people,

740
00:35:34,968 --> 00:35:37,137
so I hired two Black guys
to beat up Jussie.

741
00:35:37,221 --> 00:35:41,433
This is me growing with elegance,
and all of a sudden I'm the asshole!

742
00:35:41,517 --> 00:35:43,519
You hired two Black guys
to play white supremacists

743
00:35:43,602 --> 00:35:45,437
to commit a hate crime
against a Black guy!

744
00:35:45,521 --> 00:35:46,522
You stupid motherfucker.

745
00:35:46,605 --> 00:35:47,689
It's impossible to keep up.

746
00:35:47,773 --> 00:35:50,150
Hire Black guys, don't hire Black guys.
Make up your mind!

747
00:35:50,234 --> 00:35:52,236
I shouldn't have to explain this one.

748
00:35:52,319 --> 00:35:55,531
You're acting like I didn't even post
a black square a couple years ago.

749
00:35:55,614 --> 00:35:57,241
You saw that. I storied it.

750
00:35:57,324 --> 00:36:00,327
It wasn't on my permanent grid,
but I storied the black square.

751
00:36:01,203 --> 00:36:05,499
I obviously know who you are,
and I'm a fan, Reverend.

752
00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:07,334
But why is he on our team?

753
00:36:08,794 --> 00:36:12,005
I pray to God you didn't say
the word on that video.

754
00:36:12,089 --> 00:36:13,131
What?

755
00:36:13,215 --> 00:36:14,758
No! I would never.

756
00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,260
- Oh, I know.
- We know.

757
00:36:16,343 --> 00:36:17,261
- We know.
- Yeah, it's okay.

758
00:36:17,344 --> 00:36:18,846
- We know, I know, he knows.
- Yeah.

759
00:36:18,929 --> 00:36:20,347
- We know.
- Of course we know.

760
00:36:20,430 --> 00:36:23,225
- We know, brother.
- But if you did…

761
00:36:23,308 --> 00:36:25,561
I will smack the living shit out of you.

762
00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:28,021
And then,

763
00:36:28,939 --> 00:36:32,025
we're gonna hold hands and walk
through the fire together, my brother.

764
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:34,361
I'm not a racist.

765
00:36:34,444 --> 00:36:38,615
Reef, while we totally believe
you aren't racist,

766
00:36:38,699 --> 00:36:41,785
we do know for a fact
you have done racist things.

767
00:36:41,869 --> 00:36:43,078
Which is very common,

768
00:36:43,161 --> 00:36:46,874
except, in your position,
is incredibly dangerous.

769
00:36:46,957 --> 00:36:47,958
I'm Unis Kim.

770
00:36:48,041 --> 00:36:49,376
I'm a lawyer and activist.

771
00:36:49,459 --> 00:36:53,755
I'm here because I famously started
the hashtag "Stop Imitating Asian People."

772
00:36:53,839 --> 00:36:54,882
I did, by the way.

773
00:36:54,965 --> 00:36:57,092
- We noticed. Thank you for doing that.
- Thank you. No, thank you.

774
00:36:57,176 --> 00:36:59,595
Reef, do you recall a scene from a…

775
00:37:00,429 --> 00:37:02,097
Jesus, I'd hate to call it a film…

776
00:37:02,181 --> 00:37:04,600
a thing you were in called

777
00:37:04,683 --> 00:37:08,770
Titty School Six:
Let's Get Tit-tarted In Here?

778
00:37:08,854 --> 00:37:10,564
An '80s, low-budget teen comedy

779
00:37:10,647 --> 00:37:12,566
Ira buried when you got famous?

780
00:37:12,649 --> 00:37:14,359
We think someone may have found it.

781
00:37:14,443 --> 00:37:16,528
Do you recall a scene from this film

782
00:37:16,612 --> 00:37:19,489
in which your character,
Israel Boner Shartstein,

783
00:37:19,573 --> 00:37:20,824
is tasked with breaking into

784
00:37:20,908 --> 00:37:23,118
the girls' sorority
to steal their bras and panties?

785
00:37:23,202 --> 00:37:25,162
And in order to pull off this caper,

786
00:37:25,245 --> 00:37:26,747
you, as your character,

787
00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:29,708
dress up as a geisha
to sneak into the sorority?

788
00:37:29,791 --> 00:37:32,961
We think someone may be
framing the scene in a modern context

789
00:37:33,045 --> 00:37:36,882
to use it to cancel you
for being racist against Asian people.

790
00:37:36,965 --> 00:37:38,926
It was a scene in a stupid movie.

791
00:37:39,009 --> 00:37:41,386
It wasn't me, it was
a character in a movie.

792
00:37:41,470 --> 00:37:43,013
Doesn't matter. Hey, wait.

793
00:37:43,096 --> 00:37:44,723
Where's Moshe from
the Anti-Semitism Committee?

794
00:37:44,806 --> 00:37:45,849
We ran the numbers.

795
00:37:45,933 --> 00:37:49,770
It turns out that hating Jews doesn't
negatively affect a person's career.

796
00:37:49,853 --> 00:37:51,271
In fact, it could even help.

797
00:37:52,981 --> 00:37:54,024
Like, that sounds like

798
00:37:54,107 --> 00:37:55,817
- a freak-o acid trip.
- So, what,

799
00:37:55,901 --> 00:37:57,903
you go through every
hypothetical, fucked-up thing

800
00:37:57,986 --> 00:37:59,613
you may have ever
done in your entire life?

801
00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:00,697
- Yeah.
- If we broke down

802
00:38:00,781 --> 00:38:03,492
my texts to my dry cleaner on Tuesday,
I'd never work again.

803
00:38:03,575 --> 00:38:07,788
I mean, it felt like fire against my skin
the whole entire time.

804
00:38:07,871 --> 00:38:10,165
I hate that you're being put through this.

805
00:38:10,249 --> 00:38:11,667
I just hate it when you're sad.

806
00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:14,378
You know, I was thinking
about when you got clean,

807
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:18,340
how you never did AA
or any other program like that

808
00:38:18,423 --> 00:38:20,175
'cause you were just, like, so worried

809
00:38:20,259 --> 00:38:22,928
that people were gonna recognize you
and out that you had a problem,

810
00:38:23,011 --> 00:38:26,974
and how that would, you know,
affect your image of course.

811
00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:30,352
But a big part of all of that is
doing the steps, right?

812
00:38:30,435 --> 00:38:32,145
Apologizing to the people you hurt.

813
00:38:32,729 --> 00:38:37,025
Maybe this whole thing is, like,
the universe's way of making sure

814
00:38:37,109 --> 00:38:40,863
that you apologize to the people that were
hurt by your addiction, you know?

815
00:38:43,532 --> 00:38:47,244
I'm sure there's a lot of people
that would appreciate an apology from you.

816
00:38:50,038 --> 00:38:51,039
Right, Xander?

817
00:38:52,833 --> 00:38:53,834
Yeah.

818
00:38:55,377 --> 00:38:56,378
Sure.

819
00:39:02,885 --> 00:39:03,886
You're right.

820
00:39:07,681 --> 00:39:09,141
Fuck, this is hard.

821
00:39:13,854 --> 00:39:15,355
I need to apologize…

822
00:39:20,777 --> 00:39:21,904
to Savannah.

823
00:39:27,492 --> 00:39:28,493
Yeah.

824
00:39:29,786 --> 00:39:32,831
I'm gonna try and get back
before dinner, but thank you.

825
00:39:32,915 --> 00:39:34,208
- Yeah.
- Thanks.

826
00:39:38,212 --> 00:39:39,922
What the actual fuck?

827
00:39:40,005 --> 00:39:41,715
Dude, I don't even know what I said.

828
00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:43,008
- It was like…
- He's just…

829
00:39:43,091 --> 00:39:44,593
What?

830
00:39:44,676 --> 00:39:46,345
Why did I…

831
00:39:46,428 --> 00:39:48,180
- So stupid.
- Oh, babe. No, you're right about that.

832
00:39:48,263 --> 00:39:50,265
- No, it's stupid.
- Come here.

833
00:39:50,807 --> 00:39:53,101
I don't think you're stupid.

834
00:40:56,915 --> 00:40:58,292
Reef.

835
00:41:00,586 --> 00:41:02,504
Savannah.

836
00:41:03,172 --> 00:41:04,214
Here we are.

837
00:41:04,715 --> 00:41:06,758
Dude, you are so annoying.

838
00:41:07,634 --> 00:41:10,220
I can hate you or wanna kill you

839
00:41:10,304 --> 00:41:13,182
or even forget about you,
but then you sit here in front of me

840
00:41:13,265 --> 00:41:15,475
and you are still the goofy kid

841
00:41:16,185 --> 00:41:18,812
lighting fireworks off
at the vents behind the mall,

842
00:41:19,479 --> 00:41:20,522
almost going deaf.

843
00:41:20,606 --> 00:41:23,859
Jesus.
I haven't thought about that in so long.

844
00:41:23,942 --> 00:41:25,402
Such a little twerp.

845
00:41:26,236 --> 00:41:28,822
Always showing off for everybody,
center of attention.

846
00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:32,993
But I always liked you
in moments like this.

847
00:41:35,621 --> 00:41:37,122
When it was just us talking.

848
00:41:38,874 --> 00:41:40,334
Nobody to show off for.

849
00:41:47,674 --> 00:41:49,635
I pulled it off. Photo finish.

850
00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:52,221
Don't worry, they're not yours.

851
00:41:52,304 --> 00:41:53,680
That's not funny.

852
00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:56,183
Okay, Reef.

853
00:41:56,266 --> 00:41:59,102
Do they have your sense of humor?

854
00:41:59,811 --> 00:42:00,979
They're smarter than me.

855
00:42:02,272 --> 00:42:04,066
Let's hope they make better choices.

856
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,619
I'm really sorry I let you down.

857
00:42:25,128 --> 00:42:27,089
How do I put this the right way?

858
00:42:27,172 --> 00:42:31,927
I want to use the correct
verbiage here and not mince words.

859
00:42:36,723 --> 00:42:38,267
You're not a good person.

860
00:42:45,607 --> 00:42:47,651
I wasted years of my life on you.

861
00:42:48,527 --> 00:42:49,570
With you.

862
00:42:50,779 --> 00:42:53,699
And about you because
it's always about you, Reef.

863
00:42:57,494 --> 00:43:03,083
Let me guess. Xander and Kyle haven't been
this honest with you

864
00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:06,170
about your behavior
in these conversations.

865
00:43:06,253 --> 00:43:08,839
They never had a problem lying to you.

866
00:43:08,922 --> 00:43:10,340
Or for you.

867
00:43:11,466 --> 00:43:16,138
Yeah, you don't stick around long
with this kind of realness. Do you, Reef?

868
00:43:21,059 --> 00:43:22,436
But I'm not around anymore.

869
00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:25,439
Thank God.

870
00:43:28,567 --> 00:43:30,152
Because after the last thing…

871
00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:36,742
The last thing that happened.

872
00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:40,495
Yeah.

873
00:43:40,579 --> 00:43:44,833
It took finally allowing a good
and devoted man to love me

874
00:43:44,917 --> 00:43:49,963
to realize that I'm not just
a distraction to run to

875
00:43:50,047 --> 00:43:52,382
and toy with when you're…

876
00:43:56,470 --> 00:43:57,888
when you're depressed or…

877
00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:01,850
lonely or between movies or…

878
00:44:04,436 --> 00:44:05,729
literally bored.

879
00:44:06,772 --> 00:44:09,733
Only to discard when
something amazing would happen.

880
00:44:11,568 --> 00:44:12,569
No, you're not.

881
00:44:13,111 --> 00:44:14,321
Correct.

882
00:44:25,999 --> 00:44:29,294
I used to think that telling you
all this would make me happy.

883
00:44:33,257 --> 00:44:34,258
It doesn't.

884
00:44:37,261 --> 00:44:39,054
My family makes me happy.

885
00:44:40,931 --> 00:44:43,058
My ch… My children make me happy.

886
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,162
Ira?

887
00:45:04,246 --> 00:45:06,039
Bubbi, I need you to come
straight back to my office.

888
00:45:06,123 --> 00:45:08,625
I got us a call with the guy.
He's ready to negotiate.

889
00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:10,794
Same seats. Shit. I gotta run.

890
00:45:10,878 --> 00:45:13,755
Adam Driver bought a pet chimp and it
ripped some lady's face off at the mall.

891
00:45:13,839 --> 00:45:15,591
They're cute when you buy 'em,
but then it's like--

892
00:45:15,674 --> 00:45:16,675
Wait. Ira!

893
00:45:30,147 --> 00:45:31,857
Ira, we have him on the line.

894
00:45:31,940 --> 00:45:33,984
All right. This is it. At your stations.
Okay?

895
00:45:34,067 --> 00:45:35,068
Put him through.

896
00:45:35,986 --> 00:45:37,863
Hey, Ira. Yo. How's things?

897
00:45:37,946 --> 00:45:41,283
All good over here. Just in
the office solo doing a million things.

898
00:45:41,366 --> 00:45:42,367
Oh, yeah.

899
00:45:42,451 --> 00:45:45,329
By the sound of that speakerphone and
the cavernous echo in the conference room,

900
00:45:45,412 --> 00:45:46,830
I can tell it's just you in there.

901
00:45:46,914 --> 00:45:48,582
Fuck you. What do you got?

902
00:45:48,665 --> 00:45:52,002
I'm assuming Virginia, Leondrus
and the crew are all in there with you?

903
00:45:52,085 --> 00:45:54,213
- Hello, all.
- Nope. Wrong again.

904
00:45:54,713 --> 00:45:56,006
Okay, Ira.

905
00:45:56,089 --> 00:45:59,009
Hey. By the way, I wanna say,
Reef, if you're there too,

906
00:45:59,092 --> 00:46:01,512
which I'm pretty positive that you are…

907
00:46:02,179 --> 00:46:04,097
I should legally disclose
that I'm your neighbor

908
00:46:04,181 --> 00:46:06,934
who's been renting a house next to
you for the past few months.

909
00:46:07,476 --> 00:46:09,019
What the fuck?

910
00:46:11,313 --> 00:46:14,483
"Legally disclose."
Since when are you a stickler for the law?

911
00:46:14,566 --> 00:46:17,277
All right. Well, you know, not legally,
but, like, homey to homey.

912
00:46:17,778 --> 00:46:20,364
I thought I should tell you that.
It felt fucked up not to.

913
00:46:20,447 --> 00:46:22,157
All right. So what do we got here?

914
00:46:22,783 --> 00:46:26,745
Okay. As you know, I can't reveal much,
but I have procured a video

915
00:46:26,828 --> 00:46:29,790
from a person who wishes to sell it to
the highest-bidding media outlet.

916
00:46:30,374 --> 00:46:32,918
I would like to offer Reef
the opportunity to buy it first.

917
00:46:33,877 --> 00:46:35,838
How fucking generous of you.

918
00:46:36,380 --> 00:46:38,674
All I can tell you
about the video is this.

919
00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:49,476
He comes.

920
00:46:54,690 --> 00:46:58,068
The price is 15 million.
The deadline is Tuesday at 10:00 a.m.

921
00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:00,612
Peace.

922
00:47:04,157 --> 00:47:05,158
"Comes."

923
00:47:08,579 --> 00:47:09,830
"Comes."

924
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:13,750
"Comes."

925
00:47:13,834 --> 00:47:16,170
- Oh, God.
- "Comes."

926
00:47:17,254 --> 00:47:18,255
"Comes."

927
00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:23,135
"Comes."

928
00:47:23,677 --> 00:47:26,388
This is the actual
worst moment of my life.

929
00:47:27,764 --> 00:47:28,765
"He comes."

930
00:47:31,977 --> 00:47:32,978
I accept that.

931
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:34,938
I do. I accept it.

932
00:47:39,234 --> 00:47:40,903
But who says coming is bad? Right?

933
00:47:40,986 --> 00:47:42,362
- Yeah, it's a good thing.
- Yeah.

934
00:47:42,446 --> 00:47:44,031
- Nothing bad about it at all.
- I'm sex positive.

935
00:47:44,114 --> 00:47:46,158
- Come makes babies.
- Yeah, yeah.

936
00:47:46,241 --> 00:47:47,701
Babies grow up to be doctors.

937
00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:49,536
Doctors heal us when we're ailing.

938
00:47:49,620 --> 00:47:51,079
Technically he's right.

939
00:47:51,163 --> 00:47:52,623
You know who's made out of come?

940
00:47:53,207 --> 00:47:54,917
- She is.
- I'm not made out of come.

941
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:55,918
Absolutely are.

942
00:47:56,001 --> 00:47:57,419
Even Reef Hawk.

943
00:47:57,503 --> 00:47:58,670
Dramatic pause.

944
00:47:59,254 --> 00:48:00,255
Matinee idol.

945
00:48:00,797 --> 00:48:03,217
Handprints in
the Grauman's Chinese sidewalk.

946
00:48:04,510 --> 00:48:06,428
100% completely come-based.

947
00:48:06,512 --> 00:48:10,265
I believe in
the profundity of this argument.

948
00:48:12,226 --> 00:48:13,644
This young lady here. Come.

949
00:48:15,646 --> 00:48:17,356
That felt wrong even as I was saying it.

950
00:48:17,439 --> 00:48:20,859
But I urge you to hear me when I say this.

951
00:48:20,943 --> 00:48:25,531
None of us in this room
would be here without come.

952
00:48:26,823 --> 00:48:28,116
Am I wrong?

953
00:48:30,035 --> 00:48:31,078
Applause.

954
00:48:31,954 --> 00:48:32,955
If you want.

955
00:48:33,497 --> 00:48:35,040
If you want. If you want.

956
00:48:39,336 --> 00:48:40,963
- No!
- Whoa, whoa. Bubbi.

957
00:48:41,046 --> 00:48:43,507
You don't understand, Ira.
You don't understand.

958
00:48:43,590 --> 00:48:45,759
I've been so fucking careful!

959
00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:47,010
Hey. You're okay.

960
00:48:47,094 --> 00:48:49,930
I've never filmed myself.
I've never been filmed with anyone.

961
00:48:50,013 --> 00:48:51,807
I've been so fucking careful!

962
00:48:52,432 --> 00:48:54,017
Why is this happening to me?

963
00:49:02,192 --> 00:49:03,318
What did you just say?

964
00:49:06,822 --> 00:49:08,323
Why is this happening to me?

965
00:49:08,824 --> 00:49:10,117
No, before that.

966
00:49:13,453 --> 00:49:15,205
"I've been so fucking careful."

967
00:49:15,289 --> 00:49:16,331
Before that.

968
00:49:17,624 --> 00:49:22,337
"I've never filmed myself."
And, "I've never been filmed with anyone."

969
00:49:28,886 --> 00:49:29,887
What?

970
00:49:33,348 --> 00:49:34,349
What is it?

971
00:49:35,142 --> 00:49:37,019
You were filmed without your consent.

972
00:49:40,522 --> 00:49:42,816
It was nonconsensual.

973
00:49:43,609 --> 00:49:45,694
- Virginia, do you wanna explain this?
- I'd love to.

974
00:49:45,777 --> 00:49:49,907
Reef, have you ever heard
of victim capitalism?

975
00:49:50,949 --> 00:49:51,950
No.

976
00:49:52,034 --> 00:49:54,328
When you were growing up,
you wanted to be an actor.

977
00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:58,874
You wanted to be a gifted artist and that
in turn would bring you riches and fame.

978
00:49:58,957 --> 00:50:02,169
You were part of the recognition
for talent generation.

979
00:50:02,252 --> 00:50:05,672
But people got tired of having to work
hard and actually be good at something.

980
00:50:05,756 --> 00:50:08,091
Why do all that work? It's exhausting.

981
00:50:08,175 --> 00:50:10,344
And the odds are so
terribly low of succeeding.

982
00:50:10,427 --> 00:50:12,888
So, here come the Kardashians.

983
00:50:12,971 --> 00:50:14,973
The big bang happened.

984
00:50:15,057 --> 00:50:17,476
Attention culture.

985
00:50:17,559 --> 00:50:20,521
And it is huge.

986
00:50:20,604 --> 00:50:22,564
Now you don't have to do
anything special to be famous.

987
00:50:22,648 --> 00:50:23,815
You just have to be.

988
00:50:23,899 --> 00:50:27,361
You just have to make enough
noise to garner the attention.

989
00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:29,821
Any kind of noise. Any kind of attention.

990
00:50:29,905 --> 00:50:33,075
And this brings us to
the birth of social media.

991
00:50:33,158 --> 00:50:36,119
Now anyone with a phone can
have it at the push of a button.

992
00:50:36,203 --> 00:50:39,164
That sweet, sweet nectar of attention.

993
00:50:39,748 --> 00:50:42,209
And then, it was ignited.

994
00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:44,253
The spark.

995
00:50:45,337 --> 00:50:46,588
Victimhood.

996
00:50:46,672 --> 00:50:52,928
The only way you can become rich and
famous in this culture is to be a victim.

997
00:50:53,011 --> 00:50:54,304
Victim capitalism.

998
00:50:54,388 --> 00:50:56,849
The best thing you can be in
our modern society is a victim.

999
00:50:56,932 --> 00:51:02,646
And you, Reef Hawk, are a white,
middle-aged, rich, famous,

1000
00:51:02,729 --> 00:51:07,818
straight movie star
who is indeed a victim.

1001
00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:09,319
You're a fucking unicorn.

1002
00:51:09,403 --> 00:51:11,446
This is gonna be
the biggest year of your whole career.

1003
00:51:11,530 --> 00:51:13,282
I mean,
you're gonna be a bigger star than ever.

1004
00:51:13,365 --> 00:51:14,783
You know what we have to do, right?

1005
00:51:14,867 --> 00:51:15,909
We've got one move.

1006
00:51:15,993 --> 00:51:17,870
Live interview.

1007
00:51:17,953 --> 00:51:20,581
That's right. A live interview
cuts him off at the knees.

1008
00:51:20,664 --> 00:51:23,375
Talking about the video before
they have a chance to leak it

1009
00:51:23,876 --> 00:51:26,378
makes you the victim
and gives us all the leverage.

1010
00:51:28,338 --> 00:51:30,090
God, where are they?

1011
00:51:31,133 --> 00:51:33,010
We're gonna be fucking late.

1012
00:51:34,094 --> 00:51:35,387
Everything okay?

1013
00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:36,471
Yeah, yeah.

1014
00:51:37,306 --> 00:51:39,183
I'm just running a little late
and it's the one day a week

1015
00:51:39,266 --> 00:51:40,809
I gotta be out by a certain time.

1016
00:51:48,150 --> 00:51:49,651
Hey, I know that was a lot.

1017
00:51:51,111 --> 00:51:52,487
Sit with it tonight.

1018
00:51:53,697 --> 00:51:54,948
Digest it.

1019
00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:01,830
Ira,

1020
00:52:03,624 --> 00:52:06,251
you have a really weird job.

1021
00:52:08,420 --> 00:52:13,884
It's like you just wait for
a call that I got in trouble.

1022
00:52:23,769 --> 00:52:25,020
Bubbi, you ever think about…

1023
00:52:27,147 --> 00:52:30,150
why you thought it was okay to get in
the kind of trouble

1024
00:52:30,817 --> 00:52:32,402
you got in for as long as you did?

1025
00:52:34,988 --> 00:52:37,074
Everybody's a psycho when they're young.

1026
00:52:37,574 --> 00:52:39,117
Myself, number one.

1027
00:52:42,412 --> 00:52:44,665
But for everybody else in the world,

1028
00:52:44,748 --> 00:52:48,752
all these people,
they can't act like that forever.

1029
00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:54,883
I had real life hit me
like a fucking train.

1030
00:52:57,845 --> 00:53:00,222
But when my phone rings and it's you,
I pick up.

1031
00:53:01,557 --> 00:53:03,016
I always pick up.

1032
00:53:07,729 --> 00:53:09,189
There he is!

1033
00:53:09,857 --> 00:53:14,069
- Hey, hey!
- Sorry, Ira. We hit crazy traffic.

1034
00:53:14,152 --> 00:53:15,904
- No worries. LA, baby.
- So bad.

1035
00:53:15,988 --> 00:53:17,531
The traffic. Come on. Are you crazy?

1036
00:53:17,614 --> 00:53:19,616
Buddy. There he is. My boy.

1037
00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:20,659
Dad!

1038
00:53:20,742 --> 00:53:23,078
- What? Are you too old to kiss your dad?
- Oh, come on.

1039
00:53:23,161 --> 00:53:25,205
When you were a baby,
I used to kiss your face.

1040
00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:26,290
Dad.

1041
00:53:26,373 --> 00:53:30,210
I still see you as this little…
fat, little, chunky little guy.

1042
00:53:30,294 --> 00:53:33,338
- Dad, I hate being late for the Dodgers.
- Yeah, I know. I hate being late.

1043
00:53:33,422 --> 00:53:34,423
- I'm sorry, buddy. I--
- Yeah.

1044
00:53:34,506 --> 00:53:36,425
But we got to listen to
Britney Spears's audiobook.

1045
00:53:36,508 --> 00:53:41,930
And let me just say
she lived a very wild life.

1046
00:53:42,014 --> 00:53:43,765
She's the best.
She sang at your mom and I's wedding.

1047
00:53:44,391 --> 00:53:45,893
Hey, you know who this guy is?

1048
00:53:45,976 --> 00:53:47,978
- Reef Hawk.
- That's right.

1049
00:53:48,979 --> 00:53:50,564
OG client of your dad's.

1050
00:53:51,398 --> 00:53:55,277
Always wanted you guys to meet each
other, but Reef's always very busy.

1051
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,779
So, Reef, do you have a girlfriend?

1052
00:53:57,863 --> 00:54:00,824
This guy with the "girlfri--"
Always with the fucking girlfriend.

1053
00:54:00,908 --> 00:54:02,826
- Not right now.
- Well, same here.

1054
00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:04,328
We're on the same boat.

1055
00:54:04,411 --> 00:54:06,830
That's what I tell him.
He's gotta keep his options open.

1056
00:54:06,914 --> 00:54:10,334
Yeah. Dad said I gotta keep
my options open 'cause I'm a handsome guy.

1057
00:54:10,417 --> 00:54:11,877
Cool and handsome guy.

1058
00:54:12,711 --> 00:54:13,921
Just like Reef.

1059
00:54:14,004 --> 00:54:15,923
Hey, you guys should be wingmen
for each other.

1060
00:54:16,006 --> 00:54:17,716
Just try and leave some pussy
for the rest of us.

1061
00:54:17,799 --> 00:54:20,010
Shut up, Dad.

1062
00:54:20,093 --> 00:54:22,137
What do I always say?
Keep your options open.

1063
00:54:22,221 --> 00:54:24,223
- Yes.
- Never sign anything.

1064
00:54:24,306 --> 00:54:27,100
- Check the Saudi money.
- Check the Saudi money.

1065
00:54:27,184 --> 00:54:28,727
- Right.
- Okay. Hey.

1066
00:54:30,187 --> 00:54:31,188
I'll check in tomorrow.

1067
00:54:31,980 --> 00:54:33,232
Enjoy the game.

1068
00:54:34,816 --> 00:54:36,777
- See you later, Reef.
- Nice to meet you, man.

1069
00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:39,363
Don't do alcohol
and say no to crack, Reef.

1070
00:54:40,739 --> 00:54:42,491
Hey. I told you not
to tell anybody about that.

1071
00:54:42,574 --> 00:54:44,034
You're not supposed to repeat that shit.

1072
00:54:44,117 --> 00:54:45,369
Get in the car, guys. Let's go.

1073
00:55:15,941 --> 00:55:16,942
Reef Hawk.

1074
00:55:19,486 --> 00:55:20,487
Hey.

1075
00:55:20,571 --> 00:55:23,240
I think I read a couple of years ago
your dad hung himself, right?

1076
00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:27,286
It's so funny.
I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan

1077
00:55:27,369 --> 00:55:29,288
and the main character's a rock star

1078
00:55:29,371 --> 00:55:32,082
whose mom is on a reality show
and the dad hangs himself.

1079
00:55:33,250 --> 00:55:34,585
I mean, it's a rock star.

1080
00:55:34,668 --> 00:55:37,504
It's not a movie star,
but it's crazy close, right?

1081
00:55:43,552 --> 00:55:45,262
Anyway, check it out
if you have a flight or something.

1082
00:55:45,888 --> 00:55:47,556
You can breeze right through it.

1083
00:55:57,232 --> 00:55:59,443
Can I just say what we're all thinking?

1084
00:56:00,194 --> 00:56:04,615
A live, tell-all interview
while pretending to be a victim

1085
00:56:04,698 --> 00:56:08,744
seems like the actual complete
opposite of what you should do.

1086
00:56:08,827 --> 00:56:10,370
What's the alternative?

1087
00:56:10,454 --> 00:56:13,415
Give everything up
I've worked for my entire life?

1088
00:56:13,957 --> 00:56:15,667
I have what everyone dreams of.

1089
00:56:15,751 --> 00:56:18,712
I can't just throw it away.

1090
00:56:23,717 --> 00:56:26,261
Let's just, like, sell everything
and move to Hawaii.

1091
00:56:27,554 --> 00:56:29,598
Open a smoothie stand or something.

1092
00:56:30,182 --> 00:56:32,184
Yeah. There we go.

1093
00:56:32,935 --> 00:56:34,645
I'll open a smoothie stand.

1094
00:56:35,395 --> 00:56:36,647
What a brilliant idea.

1095
00:56:36,730 --> 00:56:39,983
You just seem a little off lately, so…

1096
00:56:41,276 --> 00:56:42,778
Look, I just wanna make sure that you're--

1097
00:56:42,861 --> 00:56:43,987
Make sure I'm what?

1098
00:56:45,864 --> 00:56:49,618
Are you implying that there's something
important that I'm hiding from you?

1099
00:56:49,701 --> 00:56:51,411
Reef, dude. She's just asking you--

1100
00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:52,996
I know what she's asking.

1101
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,915
I don't know why it's such a big deal.

1102
00:56:54,998 --> 00:56:57,334
It's a big fucking deal.

1103
00:56:57,417 --> 00:56:58,794
Because questioning that

1104
00:56:58,877 --> 00:57:02,965
is questioning the very core
of everything I am the last five years.

1105
00:57:03,048 --> 00:57:08,053
Everything I've fought
and clawed and promised to not be.

1106
00:57:08,887 --> 00:57:12,891
So you questioning that isn't
just a chill little question.

1107
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,269
It's calling me a fraud.

1108
00:57:16,353 --> 00:57:18,605
So what the fuck are you asking?

1109
00:57:21,441 --> 00:57:24,945
Don't fucking curse at me ever.

1110
00:57:26,864 --> 00:57:31,118
Don't ever talk to me like that ever.

1111
00:57:32,286 --> 00:57:35,622
You are under immense
pressure and anxiety,

1112
00:57:35,706 --> 00:57:38,959
so I am asking you
as somebody who loves you,

1113
00:57:39,042 --> 00:57:41,503
are you strong in your sobriety?

1114
00:57:41,587 --> 00:57:45,424
Because you have that look in your eyes
you promised I wasn't going to see again.

1115
00:57:47,426 --> 00:57:48,927
How fucking dare you.

1116
00:57:49,511 --> 00:57:51,930
How dare I? How dare I?

1117
00:57:52,014 --> 00:57:55,559
I ask you because I am
someone who loves you

1118
00:57:55,642 --> 00:57:58,812
at times more than you are
capable of loving yourself.

1119
00:57:59,354 --> 00:58:03,192
I ask because I would rather
you throw some little bitchy,

1120
00:58:03,275 --> 00:58:06,904
diva, movie star tantrum and not be
my friend for a month

1121
00:58:06,987 --> 00:58:12,367
than to walk in on you overdosed again
thinking that you were fucking dead.

1122
00:58:13,410 --> 00:58:18,290
Which you don't even remember, but was,
like, the worst moment of my life.

1123
00:58:22,628 --> 00:58:27,674
Dude, you're a 56-year-old man
who might be back on hard drugs.

1124
00:58:27,758 --> 00:58:32,012
So when I ask you,
it's not because it's fun for me.

1125
00:58:35,098 --> 00:58:38,602
My sobriety is stronger
than fucking steel.

1126
00:58:43,899 --> 00:58:49,404
And as far as moving to Hawaii
and opening a smoothie stand,

1127
00:58:50,864 --> 00:58:53,659
that might be in the realm
of possibility for you.

1128
00:58:54,785 --> 00:58:56,119
But honestly, Kyle…

1129
00:58:56,203 --> 00:58:57,079
Yeah.

1130
00:58:57,162 --> 00:58:59,915
…I don't have the patience
or the fucking energy

1131
00:58:59,998 --> 00:59:04,169
to fake being able to relate to
your shitty little life today.

1132
00:59:05,087 --> 00:59:11,760
I live in an existence you literally
have no way of understanding.

1133
00:59:11,844 --> 00:59:13,345
Oh, fuck.

1134
00:59:13,428 --> 00:59:14,930
You're right.

1135
00:59:15,639 --> 00:59:16,807
I have no idea.

1136
00:59:18,058 --> 00:59:21,186
I hope that you do that giant interview

1137
00:59:21,270 --> 00:59:24,606
and I hope you get
more famous and more rich.

1138
00:59:24,690 --> 00:59:26,024
More attention.

1139
00:59:27,442 --> 00:59:31,446
As it seems to
historically serve you super well.

1140
00:59:32,239 --> 00:59:35,075
And you know what?
I love my life, my shitty little life.

1141
00:59:35,158 --> 00:59:35,993
You know why?

1142
00:59:36,076 --> 00:59:39,371
I get to be whoever I wanna be.

1143
00:59:40,330 --> 00:59:41,373
All the time.

1144
00:59:42,165 --> 00:59:45,169
I wish you cared about
what we thought of you, Reef,

1145
00:59:45,252 --> 00:59:47,754
more than a bunch of people
on the Internet.

1146
00:59:50,549 --> 00:59:53,177
And the next time you do
a performative apology tour,

1147
00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:56,513
throw your two best friends on the list,
you sad fucking junkie.

1148
01:00:13,614 --> 01:00:15,324
Why are you still here?

1149
01:00:18,243 --> 01:00:21,496
I ordered food
and I already paid for it on the app.

1150
01:00:28,086 --> 01:00:30,672
Why did you stay my friend, Xander?

1151
01:00:39,056 --> 01:00:41,183
I hate emotions so fucking much.

1152
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:49,733
When we were in high school,

1153
01:00:50,317 --> 01:00:52,736
every other word
out of everyone's mouth was "faggot."

1154
01:00:52,819 --> 01:00:53,779
Including mine.

1155
01:00:53,862 --> 01:00:57,032
And one time,
you slept over in tenth grade

1156
01:00:57,115 --> 01:00:59,743
and you asked me point-blank if I was gay.

1157
01:00:59,826 --> 01:01:03,956
And I denied it for hours
and we got into this big, screaming fight.

1158
01:01:04,039 --> 01:01:07,417
And you said to me…

1159
01:01:09,336 --> 01:01:11,880
You said you wouldn't not be my friend
if I was gay.

1160
01:01:13,549 --> 01:01:15,968
You would only not be my friend
if I was not myself.

1161
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,848
Because that would be too hard to watch.

1162
01:01:27,563 --> 01:01:32,025
When you act gross like this,
I choose to remember that person.

1163
01:02:55,776 --> 01:02:57,402
There's three bags in there.

1164
01:03:42,739 --> 01:03:43,866
Hi.

1165
01:03:43,949 --> 01:03:45,492
Great to see you, Drew.

1166
01:03:46,827 --> 01:03:48,495
It's great to see you too.

1167
01:03:48,579 --> 01:03:50,581
Thank you for doing this, by the way.

1168
01:03:50,664 --> 01:03:51,790
I mean…

1169
01:03:52,416 --> 01:03:55,419
I've been thinking about you a lot lately

1170
01:03:55,502 --> 01:04:00,257
and how much our lives have paralleled

1171
01:04:00,340 --> 01:04:02,467
and the things we've been through.

1172
01:04:03,135 --> 01:04:07,347
It's a very, very unique experience.

1173
01:04:08,056 --> 01:04:09,516
Like when we were kids.

1174
01:04:11,977 --> 01:04:17,816
Like why did we do this,
and who did we do it for?

1175
01:04:18,609 --> 01:04:20,360
One minute to live air.

1176
01:04:21,278 --> 01:04:23,197
You know what's funny?

1177
01:04:25,407 --> 01:04:27,075
I didn't like you.

1178
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:29,703
Is that funny?

1179
01:04:29,786 --> 01:04:32,372
You were always so smug. You know?

1180
01:04:32,456 --> 01:04:38,128
But then when Virginia called me
and told me what really is going on

1181
01:04:38,795 --> 01:04:42,799
and what you are surviving as a victim…

1182
01:04:43,383 --> 01:04:46,845
I mean, and the fact that you were
willing to talk about it

1183
01:04:46,929 --> 01:04:49,765
and share everything
and share it with the world…

1184
01:04:50,474 --> 01:04:52,518
I mean, you're a hero.

1185
01:04:52,601 --> 01:04:55,187
And I want to interview that hero.

1186
01:05:05,948 --> 01:05:07,241
It's gonna be great.

1187
01:05:08,742 --> 01:05:09,993
Yeah.

1188
01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:17,000
I'm going to leave.

1189
01:05:17,793 --> 01:05:19,086
What?

1190
01:05:19,586 --> 01:05:21,004
I'm gonna leave now.

1191
01:05:21,088 --> 01:05:23,632
- Thirty seconds to live air.
- Wait. No. You can't.

1192
01:05:23,715 --> 01:05:24,800
D… No, no.

1193
01:05:24,883 --> 01:05:26,051
We can talk about other thi…

1194
01:05:26,134 --> 01:05:27,427
- I mean, we need to talk about…
- Yeah.

1195
01:05:27,511 --> 01:05:29,721
- …the thing but…
- I just don't wanna do this.

1196
01:05:30,305 --> 01:05:31,348
But you're here?

1197
01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:32,683
- Why would you do that?
- I'm really sorry.

1198
01:05:32,766 --> 01:05:34,268
- I'm really sorry, Drew.
- Did I say something?

1199
01:05:34,351 --> 01:05:35,185
No.

1200
01:05:35,269 --> 01:05:38,856
But, you cannot do this.
We're about to go to live TV in…

1201
01:05:38,939 --> 01:05:40,440
How many seconds?

1202
01:05:40,524 --> 01:05:41,567
Ten seconds to live air.

1203
01:05:41,650 --> 01:05:44,027
What the fuck are you doing, Reef?

1204
01:05:44,111 --> 01:05:45,571
God fucking damn it.

1205
01:05:45,654 --> 01:05:49,157
You fucked me! I will fuck you so hard!

1206
01:05:49,241 --> 01:05:52,369
I'll fucking go Ellen
on all you motherfuckers!

1207
01:05:53,078 --> 01:05:54,663
Bubbi, hey, it fucking worked.

1208
01:05:54,746 --> 01:05:56,623
Ira, I'm leaving.

1209
01:05:56,707 --> 01:05:57,916
No, you don't understand.

1210
01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:59,084
It worked.

1211
01:05:59,751 --> 01:06:01,461
What worked? I didn't do the interview.

1212
01:06:01,545 --> 01:06:03,589
Yeah, no shit. You didn't have to.

1213
01:06:03,672 --> 01:06:05,549
And I knew that
even threatening a live interview

1214
01:06:05,632 --> 01:06:07,384
would force their hand and it fucking did.

1215
01:06:07,467 --> 01:06:10,929
It's just some random nobody who found
the video on his ex-girlfriend's computer.

1216
01:06:11,013 --> 01:06:14,892
They caved.
I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.

1217
01:06:14,975 --> 01:06:16,768
35K

1218
01:06:16,852 --> 01:06:19,938
and this is all behind you
for the rest of your life.

1219
01:06:26,195 --> 01:06:27,529
Hello?

1220
01:06:32,242 --> 01:06:33,410
I don't know.

1221
01:06:36,413 --> 01:06:38,081
Fuck do you mean, "I don't know"?

1222
01:06:39,124 --> 01:06:42,753
I just wanted all of this to go away.

1223
01:06:45,130 --> 01:06:48,467
And now that it's right here
in front of me…

1224
01:06:52,471 --> 01:06:54,556
It's just so fucking wrong.

1225
01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:12,699
Bubbi, it's 35K. It's a fucking 4Runner.

1226
01:07:17,704 --> 01:07:18,914
You pay it.

1227
01:07:21,416 --> 01:07:23,085
It's the cosmic tax.

1228
01:08:27,399 --> 01:08:28,233
Hey.

1229
01:08:28,317 --> 01:08:29,943
This is so crazy.

1230
01:08:30,819 --> 01:08:31,819
Yeah, I guess.

1231
01:08:31,904 --> 01:08:35,490
I mean, you're Reef Hawk,
and you're talking to me.

1232
01:08:35,573 --> 01:08:38,577
- Like, what?
- Yeah, I don't know.

1233
01:08:38,660 --> 01:08:40,412
You're a huge movie star, dude.

1234
01:08:40,495 --> 01:08:43,122
Like, shouldn't you be at
a big party or something?

1235
01:08:44,124 --> 01:08:47,419
I mean, I've been shooting
in Albuquerque for, like, six months.

1236
01:08:47,502 --> 01:08:51,048
Living in this… hotel room.

1237
01:08:52,424 --> 01:08:56,845
I guess I'm a little lonely or something.

1238
01:08:57,930 --> 01:08:59,180
That's no good.

1239
01:09:01,558 --> 01:09:07,481
Don't you have, like, a wife or kids
or a family or something?

1240
01:09:09,858 --> 01:09:10,859
No.

1241
01:09:12,736 --> 01:09:13,737
No, I don't.

1242
01:09:18,116 --> 01:09:19,117
Why not?

1243
01:09:22,703 --> 01:09:23,747
Why not?

1244
01:09:29,169 --> 01:09:30,420
I guess…

1245
01:09:34,508 --> 01:09:38,386
I guess, when it came time to do that, I…

1246
01:09:40,889 --> 01:09:47,770
I always chose something else
I thought was bigger or more important.

1247
01:09:56,071 --> 01:09:57,364
That's really sad.

1248
01:10:06,415 --> 01:10:07,791
Do you wanna see my tits?

1249
01:10:09,626 --> 01:10:10,627
Sure.

1250
01:10:44,161 --> 01:10:45,412
You have kind eyes.

1251
01:10:47,539 --> 01:10:48,540
Thank you.

1252
01:10:50,209 --> 01:10:51,627
I just need you for two minutes outside?

1253
01:10:51,710 --> 01:10:53,378
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.

1254
01:11:00,052 --> 01:11:02,179
Gail, can you call valet
and have their cars pulled up?

1255
01:11:08,018 --> 01:11:13,899
You know, I've thought and fantasized
about what I would do or say to you

1256
01:11:13,982 --> 01:11:15,359
if I ever had the chance.

1257
01:11:25,744 --> 01:11:26,828
Do you hate me?

1258
01:11:32,668 --> 01:11:34,837
No. No, I don't… I don't hate you.

1259
01:11:38,131 --> 01:11:39,758
I love you, man.

1260
01:11:46,056 --> 01:11:47,057
I'm just broke.

1261
01:12:27,931 --> 01:12:32,686
There aren't words
for what you mean to me,

1262
01:12:33,729 --> 01:12:40,652
and the shame I feel
for what I put you through.

1263
01:12:50,245 --> 01:12:51,622
You're my whole life.

1264
01:12:58,879 --> 01:13:00,964
But it's not about me.

1265
01:13:12,142 --> 01:13:13,644
I'm sorry.

1266
01:13:16,730 --> 01:13:18,023
I forgive you.

1267
01:13:19,983 --> 01:13:21,235
I forgive you too.

1268
01:13:25,656 --> 01:13:26,949
Hey.

1269
01:13:28,951 --> 01:13:29,952
I'm sorry.

1270
01:13:32,538 --> 01:13:33,622
Do you need a hug?

1271
01:13:34,122 --> 01:13:35,582
Yeah?

1272
01:13:36,458 --> 01:13:37,584
There we go.

1273
01:13:37,668 --> 01:13:38,919
I love you, guys.

1274
01:13:39,753 --> 01:13:41,046
Thank you, Reef.

1275
01:14:12,286 --> 01:14:13,745
Hello?

1276
01:14:13,829 --> 01:14:15,789
Hey, hi.

1277
01:14:16,874 --> 01:14:17,958
Who is this?

1278
01:14:18,041 --> 01:14:19,293
It's Reef.

1279
01:14:20,085 --> 01:14:22,546
Reef. Reef?

1280
01:14:23,213 --> 01:14:24,798
What can I do for you, Reef?

1281
01:14:25,424 --> 01:14:27,426
I'm just calling to see how your day is.

1282
01:14:28,510 --> 01:14:29,970
What do you mean?

1283
01:14:30,053 --> 01:14:32,014
I mean, how's your day?

1284
01:14:32,097 --> 01:14:35,309
Like, how are the events of your day?

1285
01:14:35,392 --> 01:14:37,603
What do you mean, how's my day?
How are the events of my day?

1286
01:14:37,686 --> 01:14:39,062
What does that mean?

1287
01:14:39,730 --> 01:14:41,607
I'm just asking how your day is.

1288
01:14:41,690 --> 01:14:44,026
Like, what you did, and how it is.

1289
01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:46,069
What the fuck do you mean, how is my day?

1290
01:14:46,153 --> 01:14:48,155
What do you want, Reef? What's your angle?

1291
01:14:48,238 --> 01:14:52,117
Red, I'm calling to see
how your day is going.

1292
01:14:53,202 --> 01:14:55,120
Like, how you are.

1293
01:14:55,204 --> 01:14:56,538
Like, how you're doing.

1294
01:15:02,961 --> 01:15:04,171
Well, thanks.

1295
01:15:05,672 --> 01:15:07,216
How I'm doing? I'm just hanging out.

1296
01:15:07,716 --> 01:15:08,759
That's all I'm doing.

1297
01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:10,511
Nice.

1298
01:15:11,512 --> 01:15:12,971
That's awesome.

1299
01:15:13,055 --> 01:15:14,890
Yeah, but there's n--
You know, nothing crazy.

1300
01:15:15,557 --> 01:15:18,560
- Same old.
- Yeah, yeah.

1301
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:20,521
Same.

1302
01:15:21,230 --> 01:15:24,983
Not a whole lot here today either.

1303
01:15:25,984 --> 01:15:28,070
Well, that's nice. That's nice.

1304
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,182
- Girl. Girl, girl, girl.
- Oh, my--

1305
01:16:38,265 --> 01:16:39,933
- We got this. We got this.
- Who are you?

1306
01:16:40,017 --> 01:16:41,852
The second most interesting bitch
in this room.

1307
01:16:41,935 --> 01:16:43,061
Trust.

1308
01:16:43,145 --> 01:16:45,147
Three, two, one.

1309
01:16:45,898 --> 01:16:48,233
Good evening and welcome to

1310
01:16:48,317 --> 01:16:52,279
the prime-time special edition of
The Drew Barrymore Show.

1311
01:16:52,362 --> 01:16:56,491
We begin tonight with
a gentleman I do not know.

1312
01:16:56,575 --> 01:16:57,993
Hi, Xander Alexander.

1313
01:16:58,076 --> 01:17:01,205
Huge fan
and you soon will be of mine as well.

1314
01:17:01,830 --> 01:17:05,792
So much of your show is about your guests
coming on here and unloading on your tits.

1315
01:17:05,876 --> 01:17:10,422
And I just want you to know that today,
I'm here to take that load for you.

1316
01:17:10,964 --> 01:17:15,177
Well, let's get the tissues out
and do this right now.

1317
01:17:15,260 --> 01:17:16,136
Yes.

1318
01:17:16,220 --> 01:17:19,389
First of all, I don't know if you know
anything about my past

1319
01:17:19,473 --> 01:17:22,226
but, you know, E.T. changed my life.

1320
01:17:22,309 --> 01:17:25,521
Actually, I always thought it was "et."
You know, like French?

1321
01:17:25,604 --> 01:17:27,856
Never seen it before, saw the poster.

1322
01:17:27,940 --> 01:17:30,234
Know how relevant it is,
know how important it is.

1323
01:17:30,317 --> 01:17:32,778
From what I understand, it's about you
and a bunch of other little kids

1324
01:17:32,861 --> 01:17:36,198
finding a little old Jewish guy
and taking him for a ride on a bicycle.

1325
01:17:36,281 --> 01:17:38,450
The bald guy, you just
put a blanket on him

1326
01:17:38,534 --> 01:17:39,952
and take him for a ride on a bicycle.

1327
01:17:40,702 --> 01:17:41,703
Again, I haven't seen it.

1328
01:17:42,538 --> 01:17:45,082
I've only seen Call Me by Your Name
and The Notebook.

1329
01:23:35,182 --> 01:23:37,643
I'm Reef Hawk
and I got staph in the sauna.