1
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:06,437
Man: Police constable
Nicholas angel.

2
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,523
Born and schooled in London.

3
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,439
Graduated canterbury
university in 1993

4
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,405
with a double first in
politics and sociology.

5
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,857
Attended hendon college
of police training.

6
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,823
Displayed great aptitude
in field exercises.

7
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,995
Notably, urban pacification
and riot control.

8
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:27,660
Back off!

9
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:31,838
Academically excelled in theoretical
course work and final year examinations.

10
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,417
Received the Baton of honor

11
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:38,550
graduated with distinction into
the metropolitan police service.

12
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,722
Quickly established
an effectiveness

13
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,674
and popularity
within the community.

14
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,221
Use your brain.

15
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:47,680
Proceeded to improve skill base
with courses in advanced driving

16
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,729
and advanced cycling.

17
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:56,522
Became heavily involved in a number
of extra vocational activities.

18
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,609
To this day holds the met
record for the 100 meter dash.

19
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:05,577
In 2001 began active duty with the
renowned so19 armed response unit,

20
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,290
received a bravery
award for efforts

21
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,039
in the resolution of
operation crackdown.

22
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:14,085
In the last 12 months has received
nine special commendations.

23
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,338
Achieved the highest arrest record
for any officer in the met.

24
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,011
And sustained three injuries
in the line of duty.

25
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,634
Most recently in December

26
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,637
when wounded by a man
dressed as father Christmas.

27
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,390
Hello, Nicholas.

28
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,767
Hello, sergeant.

29
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,098
How's the hand?

30
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,433
Still a bit stiff.

31
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,273
It can get awfully
hairy out there.

32
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,884
I'm surprised you weren't snapped
up sooner for a nice desk job.

33
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:38,984
That's what I did.

34
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,358
I prefer to think my office
is out on the street.

35
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,985
Indeed, you do.

36
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:47,744
Your arrest record is 400%
higher than any other officer.

37
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:52,498
Which is why it's high time that
such skills were put to better use.

38
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,919
We're making you sergeant.

39
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,169
I see.

40
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,376
In sandford, Gloucestershire.

41
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,548
In where, sorry?

42
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,129
In sandford, Gloucestershire.

43
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,839
That's in the country.

44
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,424
Yes, lovely.

45
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,039
Isn't there a sergeant's
position here in London?

46
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,269
No.

47
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,471
Can I remain here as a PC?

48
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,645
No.

49
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:12,893
Do I have any choice in this?

50
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,183
No.

51
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,977
Sergeant,
I kind of like it here.

52
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,192
Well, you've always wanted
to transfer to the country.

53
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,609
In 20 years or so, yes.

54
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,032
Well done, you.

55
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,216
Hang on, I don't remember
telling you that.

56
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,365
Yes, you did. You said,

57
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,490
"I'd love to settle down in the
country sometime, Janine."

58
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,492
I'd like to talk
to the inspector.

59
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,649
You can speak to the inspector,
but I can promise you

60
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:37,585
he will tell you exactly
the same thing as I have.

61
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,300
Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?

62
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,798
It's still a bit stiff.

63
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,049
And how are things at home?

64
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,256
I'm sorry, sir?

65
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,882
How's Janine?

66
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,302
We're no longer together, sir.

67
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,807
Right. Then where
are you living?

68
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,376
He's staying at the
section house, sir.

69
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,544
Inspector: With the recruits?

70
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,354
Yes, he's living out
of cardboard boxes.

71
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,310
Well, then,
you're packed already.

72
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,133
Nicholas, we're offering
you a smashing position

73
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,363
with a delightful cottage,

74
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:04,863
in a lovely little place that I
think has won village of the year

75
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,659
I don't know how many times.

76
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,362
It'll be good for you.

77
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,039
I don't really know what to say.

78
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,206
Yes?

79
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,909
Yes, thank you.

80
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,251
No, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna have to...

81
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,919
You want to take this higher?

82
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,295
Yes, yes, I do.

83
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,364
You want me to bother the
chief inspector with this?

84
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,423
Yes.

85
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,950
You want me to get
the chief inspector

86
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,555
to come all the way down here?

87
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,007
Yes, I do.

88
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,392
Okay.

89
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,386
Kenneth!

90
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,638
Hello, Nicholas. How's the hand?

91
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,314
Still a bit stiff.

92
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,225
Chief inspector...
Keep your seat.

93
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,527
Now, I know what
you're going to say,

94
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,902
but the fact is, you've been
making us all look bad.

95
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,072
I'm sorry, sir?

96
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,721
Of course we all
appreciate your efforts,

97
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,282
but you've been rather
letting the side down.

98
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,325
It's all about being
a team player, Nicholas.

99
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,414
You can't be the
sheriff of London.

100
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,288
If we let you carry on
running round town,

101
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,208
you'll continue to be exceptional
and we can't have that.

102
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,631
You'll put us all out of a job.

103
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,713
With respect, sir.

104
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,216
You can't just make
people disappear.

105
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,139
Yes, I can.
I'm the chief inspector.

106
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:14,478
Well, however you spin this, there's one
thing you haven't taken into account.

107
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:17,097
And that's what the "team"
is gonna make of this.

108
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,580
Hello? Angel: Janine, it's me.

109
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,750
I know. I'm at work.

110
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,748
I know, I'm outside.

111
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,247
What's the situation?

112
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,425
You know the situation.
We've been over this.

113
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,922
No, I... I meant here.

114
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,675
Two people involved,
distinct signs of a struggle.

115
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,926
Complete mess.

116
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,302
You are talking about here?

117
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,100
Nicholas, what do you want?

118
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,873
Well, I have something
important to tell you

119
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,354
and I didn't wanna
do it over the phone.

120
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,767
Janine, I've been transferred.

121
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,352
I'm moving away for a while.

122
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,610
I'm not Janine.

123
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,238
Janine, I've been transferred.

124
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,610
I'm moving away for a while.

125
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,442
I know. Bob told me.

126
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,697
Hello, there.

127
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,870
Well, I wanted to
tell you in person.

128
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,143
And there's no reason we can't
be civil with each other.

129
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,020
It's not that long ago we were
talking about getting married.

130
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,956
Yes, but you were already married
to the force, weren't you?

131
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,942
We're actually supposed to
call it "the service" now.

132
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,297
Official vocab guidelines state

133
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,624
that "force" is too aggressive.

134
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,550
See. It's only ever
about the job.

135
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,717
It's all you care about.

136
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:29,805
That's not true.

137
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,802
No, you're right, you do
have that rubber plant.

138
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,349
It's a Japanese peace Lily. Rp

139
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,677
you just can't switch off,
Nicholas.

140
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,981
And until you find a person you
care about more than your job,

141
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,557
you never will.

142
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,048
Besides, you were
the one who suggested

143
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,649
we take a break.

144
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,733
Yes, well, guilty people
often make the first move.

145
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,903
Actually, there's something
I need to tell you.

146
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,245
You're seeing someone else.

147
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,492
Yes. How did you...

148
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,574
Is it Bob? No.

149
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:02,160
Does Bob look like the kind
of person I'd go out with?

150
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,745
It's Dave

151
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,250
hello, there.

152
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,673
I see.

153
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,210
Oh, Nicholas.

154
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,092
You do realize that window
was broken from the inside?

155
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:22,431
Frank: Hello there, Nicholas, frank
Butterman here, your new inspector.

156
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,688
I'm just calling with details
of your accommodation.

157
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,896
We've got you a lovely little
cottage on Spencer hill.

158
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,781
Look forward to meeting
you anon. Cheerio.

159
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,534
Nicholas, frank again.

160
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,202
One other thing
about your cottage.

161
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,619
It's not reaqly.

162
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,828
It would appear the
heavens have opened.

163
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,837
I was hoping to check in.

164
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:33,968
Check in?

165
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,763
But you've always been here.
Vi y

166
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,507
excuse me?

167
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,093
Oh, I'm sorry.

168
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,927
I thought you were my husband.

169
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,308
You must be sergeant angel.

170
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,684
Yes, I am.

171
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:46,852
I'm Joyce Cooper.

172
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,104
I trust you had a pleasant trip.
Fascist.

173
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,897
I beg your pardon?

174
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:54,823
"System of government characterized
by extreme dictatorship."

175
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,319
Seven across.

176
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,614
Oh, I see. It's "fascism."

177
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,321
Fascism. Wonderful.

178
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,490
Now, we've put you
in the castle suite.

179
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,997
Bernard will escort you
up there.

180
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:11,336
Well, actually, I could probably
make my own way up. Hag.

181
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,541
I beg your pardon?

182
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:17,466
"Evil old woman considered
frightful or ugly." It's 12 down.

183
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,173
Oh, bless you.

184
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,641
Pint of lager, please, Mary.

185
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,472
Mary: Right you are, my love.

186
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,565
Yes, sir, what can I get you?

187
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:16,563
Could I have a glass of the
cranberry juice, please?

188
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,939
Certainly.

189
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,489
Now, you wouldn't, by any
chance, be the new policeman?

190
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,615
Police officer, yes.
I'm Nicholas angel.

191
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,488
I'm Roy Porter.
This is my wife Mary.

192
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,698
Mary.

193
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,367
Mary: Welcome to sandford.

194
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,064
If there's anything you
need, just let us know.

195
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,330
Thank you. Could I
borrow your newspaper?

196
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,664
It's not ours, love.

197
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,341
We're not big fans of the local
fish wrapper, are we, mare?

198
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,214
They listed her age as 55.

199
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,011
When I'm actually $3.

200
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,339
Fifty-three.

201
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,425
Pint of lager, please, Mary.

202
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,101
Right you are, my love.

203
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:20,923
Excuse me.

204
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,049
What?

205
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,220
When's your birthday?

206
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,548
Twenty-second of February.

207
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,633
What year? Every year.

208
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:27,849
Get out.

209
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,887
When's your birthday?

210
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,224
Eighth of may, 1969.

211
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,105
You're 377 yeah.

212
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,311
Get out.

213
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,527
When's your birthday?

214
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:40,939
Out.

215
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,987
Is there a problem, officer?

216
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,567
Yes, there is, Mr. Porter.

217
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,449
It would appear a number of
your patrons are under age.

218
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,247
Well, a few of them may be a
month or two south of proper.

219
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,077
But if they're in here, it stops
them getting into trouble out there.

220
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,412
Yeah, the way we see it, it's
all for the greater good.

221
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:56,621
The greater good.

222
00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:01,005
Well, that's as may be, but the law's
the law and they'll have to go.

223
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,594
Another cranberry juice?

224
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,141
I'm fine, thank you.

225
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,534
I hope you're not
planning on driving that.

226
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,868
No.

227
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,720
Right. I'm taking you
to the station.

228
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,685
Where is it?

229
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,564
What?

230
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,371
Angel: Move.

231
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,132
"Nicholas angel.”

232
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,501
Oh, when did you start?

233
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,052
Tomorrow.

234
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,631
Well, I see you've already
arrested the whole village.

235
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:30,847
Not exactly.

236
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,644
You in for the night?
Go on, four's free.

237
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,103
Hey, now, I need
to speak to him.

238
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,101
He'll be no use
till the morning.

239
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,349
I see.

240
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:42,436
You really want to
process all this lot?

241
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,563
My pen"s running out.

242
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,897
Not a problem.

243
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,524
All: Morning, sergeant.

244
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,615
Morning.

245
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,859
Morning.

246
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,111
Morning, sergeant.

247
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,028
Morning, sergeant.

248
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,208
Lock me up.

249
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,296
I'm I ss so orry'?

250
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,497
I'm a slasher and
I must be stopped.

251
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,419
You're a what?

252
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,047
A slasher of prices.

253
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,422
Just kidding. I'm Simon Skinner.

254
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,553
I run the local supermarché.

255
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,305
Drop in and see me sometime.

256
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,057
My discounts are criminal.

257
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,062
Catch me later!

258
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,354
Morning, sergeant.

259
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,108
Morning, sergeant.

260
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,243
Could you tell the inspector
I've arrived, please?

261
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,373
No.

262
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,376
Why?

263
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,578
He's not in yet.

264
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,213
Well, how's our guest?

265
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:27,958
Guest?

266
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,462
The inebriate in cell four.

267
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:32,717
I don't know.
Nobody tells me nothing.

268
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,476
Can I get cell
four open, please?

269
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,646
Danny, can you open four?

270
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,308
He's gone.

271
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,695
Why are you dressed
like a police officer?

272
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,822
Because I am one.

273
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,072
Sergeant angel, at last.
Frank Butterman.

274
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,242
I see you've already met my boy.

275
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,496
Yes.

276
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,581
Frank: Do forgive me. I'm
something of a wild west nut.

277
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,674
Speaking of which, that
was a fair few outlaws

278
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,047
you rounded up last night.

279
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,758
Thank you, sir.

280
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:19,760
I admire your enthusiasm and far be
it from me to stifle your flair,

281
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,181
but this isn't London.

282
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,603
Oh, yes, please, Danny.

283
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,770
With respect, sir,

284
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,380
geographical location
shouldn't factor

285
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,521
no, thanks.

286
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,526
Statistically, sandford is the
safest village in the country.

287
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,778
But that doesn't mean
it requires anything less

288
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,368
than a careful and
considered approach.

289
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,599
There's a reason we accommodate

290
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,363
a few of the younglings
at the pub.

291
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,538
The greater good?

292
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,958
The greater good. Precisely.

293
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:48,288
Your predecessor assumed that
rural policing was easy.

294
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,124
Ended up having
a nervous breakdown.

295
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,378
And sergeant popwell was an exceptional
officer, truly exceptional.

296
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,131
And he had one thing
you haven't got.

297
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,267
What's that, sir?

298
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,183
A great big bushy beard.

299
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,306
Come on, let's have
a mosey around.

300
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,981
Locker room.

301
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,892
Riot room.

302
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,570
Evidence room.

303
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:20,578
Now, how about
a trip to the andes?

304
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,075
Detective sergeant Wainwright

305
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,498
and detective constable
Cartwright.

306
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,498
Don't get up.

307
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,335
I expect you're wondering
why we call them the andes.

308
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,173
They're both called Andrew?

309
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,092
They said you were good.

310
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,865
Also, because talking to
them is an uphill struggle,

311
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,220
isn't it, dad?

312
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,307
Fuck off!

313
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,430
Thank you, Danny.

314
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:49,474
And this is where
it all happens.

315
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,103
That is sergeant Tony Fisher.

316
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,528
PC Bob Walker.

317
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,323
And that is Saxon.

318
00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:01,952
And this is one Doris Thatcher.

319
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,100
She's our only policewoman.

320
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,239
She's not a policewoman. P

321
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,477
yeah, she is. I've seen her bra.

322
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,536
She's a police officer.

323
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,146
Being a woman has
nothing to do with it.

324
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,206
Oh, I don't know. Comes
in handy every so often.

325
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,129
I could've given you the tour.

326
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,047
I've been round
the station a few times.

327
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,875
And what's upstairs?

328
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,220
Well, well, well,
I see we have visitors.

329
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,549
This is Tom Weaver.

330
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:26,390
Civilian liaison with the
neighborhood watch alliance.

331
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,597
You'll find that we run
a very tight ship here.

332
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:36,358
From this command center I can see
what the whole village is up to.

333
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,991
I must say I was rather admiring
your handiwork last night.

334
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,660
It's a pity you didn't do the
same to those bloody hoodies.

335
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,364
Hanging around.
Loitering. Sitting.

336
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,871
Actually, I did notice some
minor graffiti on the fountain.

337
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,293
Graffiti? They've gotta
be dealt with, frank.

338
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,621
They're nippers, Tom.
They'll come round.

339
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:54,956
Which reminds me,

340
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,384
our friend, the living statue,
was here on Saturday.

341
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:03,511
11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 2:00.

342
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:06,434
If we don't come down hard
on these clowns,

343
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,602
we are gonna be up to
our balls in jugglers.

344
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,771
We'll get right onto it, Tom.

345
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,435
We like to let them think
they run the place.

346
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,269
Well, that's that.

347
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,777
Unless there's anything
you're unclear about?

348
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,075
Yes, sir. Why is everybody
eating chocolate cake?

349
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,027
The black forest
gateau is on Danny.

350
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,408
As punishment for his
little indiscretion.

351
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,228
Sir, I don't think driving
under the influence

352
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,992
can be called
a "little indiscretion.”

353
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:35,251
No, the gateau is for misplacing
his helmet the other week.

354
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:39,300
Last night's incident will require
something rather more serious.

355
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,673
Good. Do you like ice-cream?

356
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,504
I'm sorry, sir, I don't follow.

357
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,089
Let's just say that
we won't be short

358
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,799
of chunky monkey
for the next month.

359
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,180
Dad.

360
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,387
Now, since it's your first
day and it's 11:30,

361
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,063
I'd say that's lunch.

362
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,984
So, what made you choose
sandford then, sergeant angel?

363
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,693
It wasn't actually my choice.

364
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,029
Oh, right, right, wasn't your
choice to come down here

365
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,955
and tell me how to do my job.

366
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,248
Our jobs.

367
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,375
All: Yeah.

368
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:18,251
Look, I can assure you it wasn't my
intention to upset the apple cart.

369
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,584
Yeah, 'cause we all sell
apples round here, don't we?

370
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:22,919
Your dad sells apples, Andy.

371
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,503
And raspberries.

372
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,180
I bet you can't wait to jump
into sergeant popwell's grave.

373
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,429
I'm not jumping
into anyone's grave.

374
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,470
You got a mustache.

375
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,100
I know.

376
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,440
Why have you got
your stab vest on?

377
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,892
It's a requirement.

378
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:42,276
In the city maybe. Nobody's gonna
stab you in here, sergeant.

379
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,566
Not a member of
the public anyhow.

380
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,277
Have you been stabbed,
sergeant Fisher?

381
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,407
No.

382
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,908
Well, I have.

383
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,582
And I can assure you it is not
in the least bit amusing.

384
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,791
Have you seen a lot of
action, sergeant angel?

385
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,793
I've experienced
my fair share, yes.

386
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,124
Did you cook any fools?

387
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:02,378
Excuse me?

388
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,710
Did you shoot anybody?

389
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,137
He shot a crack head
with a kalashnikov.

390
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,683
Where did you get that?

391
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,433
The offender had
the kalashnikov.

392
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,600
Where'd he get that?

393
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,896
You do know there are more guns in the
country than there are in the city?

394
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:19,020
Everybody and their mums
is packing round here.

395
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:20,653
Like who?

396
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,818
Farmers.

397
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,112
Who else?

398
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,405
Farmers's mums.

399
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:31,491
What's it like being stabbed?

400
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,457
It was the single most painful
experience of my life.

401
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,910
What was the second
most painful?

402
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,960
You ever fired two guns whilst
jumping through the air?

403
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,166
No.

404
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,696
You ever fired one gun whilst
jumping through the air?

405
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,835
No.

406
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,073
Ever been in
a high speed pursuit?

407
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,212
Yes, I have.

408
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,243
You ever fired a gun whilst
in a high speed pursuit?

409
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,382
No.

410
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:57,226
Amanda on walkie-talkie: Annette, that
sergeant angel's coming into your shop.

411
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,977
Get a look at his arse.

412
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:00,732
What about lethal weapon?

413
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:01,855
No.

414
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:02,964
You've seen die hard, though?

415
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,023
No.

416
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,650
Bad boys 11? No.

417
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,447
You ain't seen bad boys 11?

418
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,320
Hell of a day, huh? Yeah.

419
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,996
Same again tomorrow? Yeah.

420
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:24,040
Amanda paver, headmistress
of sandford primary.

421
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,544
How do you do, sergeant?

422
00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:27,672
Simon Skinner,
I believe you've met.

423
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,470
Oh, we're already firm friends.

424
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,549
Oh, please, please,
come with me, will you?

425
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:34,508
This is Leslie tiller,

426
00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:38,930
whose horticultural expertise has
helped put sandford on the map.

427
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,226
She's ever so good.

428
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:41,523
Oh, go on.

429
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:44,022
This is James reaper,
who owns brannigan farm.

430
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:45,819
I hear you're
quite the marksman.

431
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,363
Perhaps you might like to
join us for a shoot one day.

432
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,636
Well, I haven't held a firearm

433
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,991
for over two years, Mr. reaper.

434
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,693
I'd quite like to
keep it that way.

435
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,388
You will be popular
with the local birds.

436
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:56,330
Birds.

437
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,621
Nicholas, hello.
Reverend shooter.

438
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:03,375
I want to ask you, would you
read a homily at Sunday service?

439
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,547
That might be a little
hypocritical of me, reverend.

440
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:07,875
Oh, you're an atheist?

441
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,426
No, I'm... I'm...

442
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,824
I'm open to the concept
of religion,

443
00:23:10,848 --> 00:23:12,554
I'm just not entirely
convinced by it.

444
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:13,721
You're an agnostic?

445
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,265
I think I have a cream for that.

446
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:20,555
Robin hatcher,
our resident sawbones.

447
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,561
Hopefully we won't see too much of
each other over the coming months.

448
00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:26,401
Well, all that remains
is to welcome you

449
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:31,073
to the weekly meeting of the
neighborhood watch alliance.

450
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,495
Now, quick announcement
before we begin.

451
00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:39,331
Janet barker has just
given birth to twins.

452
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,664
So, congratulations to her.

453
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,041
Tom? Thanks, Joyce.

454
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:46,713
Now.

455
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,299
I am sure that all of you
will have noticed

456
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:52,423
the return of a blight
to our streets.

457
00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:53,799
It's made all the
more disturbing

458
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:56,849
as the village of the year
contest looms.

459
00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:02,723
I refer, of course, to the extremely
irritating living statue.

460
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:11,405
Angel: Police work is as
much about preventing crime

461
00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:13,323
as it is about fighting crime.

462
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:16,902
Most importantly, it is about
procedural correctness

463
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:20,410
in the execution of
unquestionable moral authority.

464
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:22,908
Any questions?

465
00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:26,495
Yes.

466
00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:29,297
Is it true that there is
a place in a man's head

467
00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:31,501
that if you shoot it,
it will blow up?

468
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:36,888
Hi, hi, Tim messenger.

469
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,262
Can I get a quick shot
for the sandford citizen?

470
00:24:39,353 --> 00:24:40,513
Okay.

471
00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,720
How about you put the
teacher in handcuffs?

472
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:44,376
I don't think that gives
off the right signals.

473
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,265
Too cheesy-pie. Okay. Gotcha.

474
00:24:46,694 --> 00:24:47,754
Give the little
blonde kid your hat.

475
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:48,893
I'd rather not.

476
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:50,090
Wave your hitting stick about.

477
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,149
No.

478
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,480
Righty-ho-ho.

479
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:59,988
Oh, can I have your
autograph, please?

480
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,491
For the breakfast.

481
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,041
Oh, sorry.

482
00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,170
Hey, that weren't me.

483
00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:14,464
Morning, angle.

484
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:16,011
Good morning, angle.

485
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:17,515
Both: Morning, angle.

486
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:19,035
Eo es lilt lis ti yovg fo es ee ee is ce = == sis em === = mes ee ee cs = = sees =e eee ss a at he - somes
AAA Sara sa ea pere - sea emm = == = ae ea es ea eee sets =.= eb er cei sea eel re re er ae ee a le

487
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,924
staker: Morning.
The swan's escaped.

488
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,476
The swan's escaped? Yeah.

489
00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:24,770
Right. And where has the swan
escaped from exactly?

490
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,768
The castle. Oh, yeah?
And who might you be?

491
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:30,192
Mr. staker. Yeah,
Mr. Peter LAN staker.

492
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:33,362
P. I. Staker. Right.
Piss taker. Come on!

493
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,397
Yes, Mr. staker. We'll
do everything we can.

494
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:37,357
Can you describe it to me?

495
00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:39,318
It's about two foot tall.

496
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:40,619
Long slender neck.

497
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:41,866
Yeah.

498
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,367
Kind of orange and black bill.

499
00:25:43,459 --> 00:25:44,824
Anything else?

500
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,368
Well, it's a swan.

501
00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:56,635
That's just gonna scare it.

502
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,385
No luck catching
them swans then?

503
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,812
It's just the one
swan, actually.

504
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:10,933
Want anything from the shop?

505
00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:13,189
You've just been to the shop.

506
00:26:13,781 --> 00:26:15,317
I was thinking of
a different shop.

507
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,989
Constable Butterman, this is not
the time for personal errands.

508
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,179
Well, there's nothing
going on, is there?

509
00:26:19,203 --> 00:26:21,694
There is always
something going on.

510
00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:23,529
You have to look closer,
all right?

511
00:26:23,624 --> 00:26:25,535
What about this guy?

512
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:27,745
Mr. treacher? Yeah.

513
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,918
Why has he got that big coat on?

514
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,495
He can't be cold.
Why the extra layer?

515
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,831
Maybe he's trying
to hide something.

516
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,882
Mr. treacher?

517
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:38,176
Okay. What about this guy?

518
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,720
Ask yourself, why has he got
his hat pulled down like that?

519
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,139
He's fuck ugly.

520
00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:44,091
Or he doesn't want you
to see his face.

521
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:46,222
Because he's fuck ugly.

522
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,387
Okay, what's his story?

523
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:49,938
Oh, that's lurch. Go on.

524
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,294
He's a trolley boy at
the local supermarket.

525
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:52,318
Good.

526
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:54,233
Real name, Michael Armstrong.

527
00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:55,465
Dad says he's got
a child's mind.

528
00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:56,524
Okay.

529
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,775
And lives up summer street
with his mum and his sister.

530
00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,066
And are they as big as he is?

531
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,160
Who?

532
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,781
The mum and the sister.

533
00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:04,361
Same person.

534
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,114
What shop were you thinking of?

535
00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:32,598
Tina on pa: Sergeant angel
to the manager's office.

536
00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:35,776
Manager's office.
Sergeant angel.

537
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:42,529
Sergeant angel. Or is it angle?

538
00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:47,408
Mr. Skinner, a baby's
sicked up in aisle six.

539
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:50,874
Please excuse me. Michael!

540
00:27:50,961 --> 00:27:52,121
Yarp.

541
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,918
Child vomit. Aisle six.
Mop it up.

542
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,667
Yarp.

543
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:57,338
Mr. Skinner, is there a problem?

544
00:27:57,426 --> 00:27:58,962
No, no, no, no.

545
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:00,713
I simply wanted to say
how lovely it is

546
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,295
to see you supporting
your local store.

547
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:04,630
Well, that's quite all right.

548
00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:08,968
All too many have defected to the
big megamart in buford Abbey.

549
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:13,522
May their heads be struck from their
shoulders for such disloyalty.

550
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:16,646
Yes, well, I am on duty,
so if you'll excuse me.

551
00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:20,229
Of course. I simply spied you
loitering in organic produce

552
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,940
and assumed you had
time on your hands.

553
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:28,825
Well, maybe I'm not the one you
should be keeping an eye on.

554
00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:32,158
That's the fridge magnate.
His name's George merchant.

555
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:34,208
Made a fortune in kitchen goods.

556
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:36,503
Built that monstrosity
on Norris Avenue.

557
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,711
Actually, I wasn't
talking about him.

558
00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:42,884
I was talking about him.

559
00:28:42,971 --> 00:28:44,177
Ah.

560
00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:45,720
Excuse me.

561
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:50,183
Excuse me.

562
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:05,532
"Meet the cop that
can't be stopped.”

563
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:23,792
Man: Tosser!

564
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,379
Trouble in the high street.

565
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:29,135
Sergeant angel's having
a spot of bother.

566
00:29:29,226 --> 00:29:30,432
Roger that.

567
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:42,106
Man: Morning, sergeant.

568
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,739
You mothers.

569
00:29:54,584 --> 00:29:57,075
Let's cut through here.
Head him off.

570
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,206
Through the gardens?

571
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:00,378
What's the matter, Danny?

572
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:01,921
You never taken
a shortcut before.

573
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,964
Hey, give me that!

574
00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:55,330
"You do not have
to say anything,

575
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:56,497
"however it may
harm your defense

576
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,790
"if you fail to mention
when questioned

577
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:59,292
"something you later
rely on in court,

578
00:30:59,316 --> 00:31:01,398
"anything you do say
can be given in evidence."

579
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:03,146
Hi, Danny. All right, Pete?

580
00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:04,351
Do you know this man?

581
00:31:04,488 --> 00:31:06,215
Yeah, he's auntie Jackie's
sister's brother's boy.

582
00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:08,176
And it didn't occur to you
to mention this before?

583
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,440
Couldn't see his face, could 1?

584
00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:11,029
I'm not made of eyes.

585
00:31:21,671 --> 00:31:23,457
Impressive collar.

586
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:26,085
Shame Mr. Skinner doesn't
want to press charges.

587
00:31:26,176 --> 00:31:27,695
What do you mean, he doesn't
wanna press charges?

588
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:29,459
I'm simply suggesting that,
you know,

589
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:31,590
Peter be given a second chance

590
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:34,593
before he becomes just
another crime statistic.

591
00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:37,517
I'm sure he's going to learn
a valuable lesson.

592
00:31:37,604 --> 00:31:40,220
Stealing biscuits is wrong?

593
00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:41,315
Correct.

594
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,480
Thanks.

595
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:45,434
And yet we respond by not taking
a single punitive measure?

596
00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:48,487
Well, that's the way
the cookie crumbles.

597
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,484
Like the biscuits, isn't it?

598
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:51,655
Mr. Skinner...

599
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,449
Is everything all right?

600
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,318
Well, sir,

601
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,622
Mr. Skinner feels it would be better
not to prosecute an individual

602
00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:00,744
that has committed
a blatant offense.

603
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,287
Leave this with me.

604
00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:05,542
I'll make sure everyone
gets their just deserts.

605
00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:07,543
Man: Oh, no!

606
00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:11,843
Twenty-seven.

607
00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,046
Have you ever seen point break?

608
00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:15,472
No.

609
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:17,891
Amazing bit in point break
where they jump over fences.

610
00:32:17,978 --> 00:32:19,889
Is there now? Twenty-nine.

611
00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:21,561
Patrick Swayze's
just robbed this bank

612
00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:22,979
and Keanu Reeves is chasing him

613
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:25,933
through people's gardens, and he
goes to shoot Swayze but he can't,

614
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:27,189
'cause he loves him so much,

615
00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:29,279
and he's firing his gun up
in the air, he's like...

616
00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:30,691
Forty.

617
00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,902
Have you ever fired your gun
up in the air and gone...

618
00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:35,649
No, I have not ever fired my
gun up in the air and gone...

619
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:37,785
Thirty.

620
00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:39,404
Sorry, I... I just...

621
00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,581
I just feel like I'm
missing out sometimes.

622
00:32:41,668 --> 00:32:42,668
I wanna do what you do.

623
00:32:42,752 --> 00:32:44,663
You do, do what I do.

624
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:46,607
What on earth do you think
you're missing out on?

625
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:50,089
Gun fights. Car chases.
Proper action and shit.

626
00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:53,590
Police work is not about
proper action or shit.

627
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:55,796
Twenty-nine.

628
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:57,285
If you had paid attention
to me in school,

629
00:32:57,309 --> 00:33:00,472
you'd understand that it's not all
about gun fights and car chases.

630
00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,269
Fire up the roof.

631
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:09,605
That was brilliant.

632
00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:14,815
Was I going a tad fast, officer?

633
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,409
Yes, you were, Mr. blower.

634
00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:20,738
Well, now, you see,
we are staging a homage

635
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,868
to William Shakespeare's
Romeo and Juliet

636
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:24,915
and I'm a little late
for the dress rehearsal.

637
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:28,040
I'm playing the eponymous
hero, you see.

638
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:29,959
Romeo not Juliet.

639
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,542
What are you writing?

640
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:34,968
Everything you're saying.

641
00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:36,503
I might need to
refer to it later.

642
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,679
Now, officer, I am a respected
solicitor so there's no need fo...

643
00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:42,304
Just stop writing, will you?

644
00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,556
Look, I'm merely
trying to explain

645
00:33:44,648 --> 00:33:47,606
why I might have exceeded
the speed limit.

646
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:50,479
You're playing the male lead in a
homage to William Shakespeare's

647
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:53,482
Romeo and Juliet and you're
late for the dress rehearsal.

648
00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:56,440
You think this is sufficient reason
to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?

649
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,366
Well, I... to flout speed limits

650
00:33:58,495 --> 00:34:00,406
specifically put in
place to save lives.

651
00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:02,453
Just, look,
this is preposterous.

652
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:03,947
"Preposterous.”

653
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,374
Look, just stop writing!

654
00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:08,664
"Stop writi p writing.”

655
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:14,379
Look, you're right, I apologize.

656
00:34:15,845 --> 00:34:16,960
See what I did there?

657
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,135
You hypnotized him.

658
00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:19,633
No, I used this.

659
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,244
This is the most important piece
of equipment you will ever own.

660
00:34:22,352 --> 00:34:23,592
This notebook has saved my skin

661
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:25,181
more times than I
care to mention.

662
00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:26,874
You should think about
using yours more often.

663
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:27,933
I do use mine.

664
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:29,024
Show me.

665
00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:35,524
That's just extraordinary.

666
00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,401
You should see the one
on the other side.

667
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,620
What are you up to tonight?

668
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:46,497
I have to water my peace Lily.

669
00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:48,121
Thought you might
wanna do something.

670
00:34:48,211 --> 00:34:49,542
What exactly were you thinking?

671
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,335
Don't know. Pub?

672
00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:54,586
I don't think that's
a good idea. Do you?

673
00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:59,086
Oil you two.

674
00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:03,633
A Mr. blower left you tickets
for Romeo and Juliet tonight.

675
00:35:03,727 --> 00:35:05,092
Said it was by way
of an apology.

676
00:35:05,186 --> 00:35:06,722
Yeah? Yeah.

677
00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:09,980
Well, we can't accept gifts from
somebody we've officially rebuked.

678
00:35:10,066 --> 00:35:11,181
So...

679
00:35:11,651 --> 00:35:12,857
Yeah.

680
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:15,776
Nicholas. Glad I caught you.

681
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:19,607
Wondered if you wouldn't mind
representing us at the am drams tonight.

682
00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:20,986
Yes, sir, of course.

683
00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:22,613
And there's a spare
for Danny, too.

684
00:35:22,704 --> 00:35:26,117
Yeah! Hey,
come on, it might be fun.

685
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:31,705
A dateless bargain
to engrossing death.

686
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:36,502
Here's to my love.

687
00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:44,551
Now.

688
00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:52,894
Poison? I'll kiss thy lips.

689
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:56,901
Haply some poison
doth yet hang on them.

690
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:05,694
Bang! Lc

691
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:26,089
Sergeant angel, hi-hi.

692
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,845
Quick word for the
sandford citizen.

693
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,805
It was very enjoyable.

694
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,082
"Cop enjoys watching
young lovers"?

695
00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:32,141
I don't think so.

696
00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:33,918
"Local Bobby gives thumbs
up to teen suicide"?

697
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:35,523
That's just grossly
inappropriate.

698
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:39,607
You will try and spell his name correctly
this time, won't you, Timothy?

699
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:42,155
Absolute tosh, wasn't it?

700
00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:43,815
And annoyingly, the understudies

701
00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:46,526
are actually
professional actors.

702
00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:49,162
Greg over there was
an extra in straw dogs

703
00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:51,129
and sheree portrayed
a cadaver in prime suspect.

704
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,370
Sergeant angel, you came?

705
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,828
So thrilled you accepted
my invitation.

706
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:59,881
Well, our inspector
requested we attend. So...

707
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:03,552
Yeah, we can't accept gifts from
someone we've officially rebuked so...

708
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,179
Jog on.

709
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:10,058
Congratulations to you
and to Mrs. blower.

710
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:14,269
Oh, this is not my wife.

711
00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:17,099
This is miss draper.
My leading lady.

712
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,768
Eve works in the local
council, sergeant.

713
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:21,899
Quite the lady in the know.

714
00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:23,275
I am not.

715
00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:24,947
Nonsense.

716
00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:27,616
I'm sure if we bashed
your head in,

717
00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:30,741
all sorts of secrets
would come tumbling out.

718
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:37,206
Romeo, Romeo, a pint
of bitter for Romeo?

719
00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:39,233
Thank you very much for coming, George.
Excuse us.

720
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,373
A pleasure, my liege.

721
00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:42,799
Eve's nice, ain't she?

722
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:44,877
She certainly has
a distinctive laugh.

723
00:37:44,971 --> 00:37:46,632
She was in my year at school.

724
00:37:46,723 --> 00:37:48,384
Always had a thing for her.

725
00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:51,140
She clearly has
a thing for older men.

726
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,556
What, with Martin blower?
No way!

727
00:37:55,064 --> 00:37:57,726
We just sat through three hours
of so-called acting, constable,

728
00:37:57,817 --> 00:38:00,559
their kiss was the only
convincing moment in it.

729
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:02,314
Hey, now you come to mention it,

730
00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:05,021
I too have reason to believe
she favors the older gent.

731
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,231
Really? How so?

732
00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:07,611
Marcus Carter's big brother said

733
00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:09,408
he'd fingered her
up the duck pond.

734
00:38:12,916 --> 00:38:14,577
Oh, officers.

735
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:18,285
Again let me extend my Sincere
apologies for earlier.

736
00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:21,746
That's quite all right,
Mr. blower. Drive safe.

737
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:30,134
"Drive safe." Oh, my god.

738
00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:32,591
You know that's the bloke
we done for speeding earlier.

739
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:35,597
Yeah. Hopefully, that's the
last we'll see of him.

740
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:49,282
Who is it?

741
00:38:53,873 --> 00:38:54,988
We haven't got long.

742
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,166
To us.

743
00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:01,620
Who is it?

744
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,849
Yeah?

745
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,600
Decaffeinated? Decaffeinated?

746
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:27,236
Little Brian Libby found them,
out on his paper round.

747
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:30,865
Oh, he'll be having
nightmares for a while.

748
00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:33,534
Must have hit the sign
at some speed.

749
00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:35,236
Took the whole top off.

750
00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:37,162
I've had my top off
in this lay-by.

751
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,410
Tits.

752
00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:44,997
Most likely lost control, left the
road there and then ended up here.

753
00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:51,010
So, what do we reckon?

754
00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:53,258
Sergeant angel?

755
00:39:53,850 --> 00:39:55,202
Well, we should get
a proper cordon off,

756
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,682
screen the remains
from public view.

757
00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:58,539
Close down the road until
the ambulance crew arrives,

758
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,896
whereupon we should open a single
Lane of traffic and ease congestion.

759
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:03,773
Very good.

760
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:05,524
What he said.

761
00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:11,944
What happened, Danny?

762
00:40:12,035 --> 00:40:13,035
Car accident.

763
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:14,859
Nasty way to go.

764
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:17,696
Constable, official
vocab guidelines state

765
00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:19,685
we no longer refer to these
incidents as "accidents,"

766
00:40:19,709 --> 00:40:20,869
they're now “collisions.”

767
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,040
Right.

768
00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:24,961
"For never was there
a story of more woe.

769
00:40:25,048 --> 00:40:28,256
"Than this of Juliet
and her Romeo.”

770
00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:29,666
Excuse me?

771
00:40:29,761 --> 00:40:32,218
Martin and Eve. Such a tragedy.

772
00:40:32,305 --> 00:40:33,886
Mr. Skinner,
do you mind telling me

773
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:36,180
how you know the identity
of the persons involved?

774
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:39,725
You know how it is.
News travels fast.

775
00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:44,227
A love struck Romeo
sings a streetsus serenade

776
00:40:44,734 --> 00:40:45,849
what happened, Danny?

777
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:47,059
Traffic collision.

778
00:40:48,321 --> 00:40:50,232
Hey, why can't we say
"accident" again?

779
00:40:50,323 --> 00:40:52,780
Because "accident" implies
there's nobody to blame.

780
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,695
Put a sock in it, town mouse.

781
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:57,573
Yeah, you wanna be
a big cop in a small town,

782
00:40:57,664 --> 00:40:59,529
fuck off up the model village.

783
00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:02,036
I'm just saying, things aren't
always as simple as they look.

784
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,957
Most times they are.

785
00:41:04,087 --> 00:41:06,794
Let's just wait till doctor hatcher
comes back with something,

786
00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:08,403
before you go jumping
the kalashnikov.

787
00:41:09,592 --> 00:41:12,738
All right, in the meantime, why don't you
check out a few of Martin blower's clients?

788
00:41:12,762 --> 00:41:15,629
Martin blower represents damn
near most of the village.

789
00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:17,326
Did you want us to go through
the whole phone book?

790
00:41:17,350 --> 00:41:20,137
Yeah, or put a call into Aaron a.
Aaronson, shall we?

791
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:21,554
Please, don't be childish.

792
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:22,998
At least consider
interviewing the widow.

793
00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:25,167
Martin blower was clearly having
an affair with Eve draper.

794
00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:28,604
Oh, and how did you
establish that?

795
00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:31,437
'Cause we sat through three hours
of so-called acting last night,

796
00:41:31,531 --> 00:41:33,943
and the kiss was the only
convincing moment in it.

797
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:36,115
All right, pipe down, big one.

798
00:41:36,202 --> 00:41:38,739
Here, what else you got,
Crockett and tubby?

799
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:39,830
Skid marks.

800
00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:41,308
Now who's being childish?

801
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:43,163
There were no skid marks
at the scene.

802
00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:44,311
Doesn't it seem a little strange

803
00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:46,215
that Martin blower would
lose control of his car

804
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:48,206
and not think to
apply the brakes?

805
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,192
If there were no
skid marks it follows

806
00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:52,172
that for 300 yards
both driver and passenger

807
00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:54,125
did nothing to
prevent their fate.

808
00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:56,211
You don't have to be a
detective to work that out!

809
00:41:56,305 --> 00:41:57,465
Yeah.

810
00:41:57,557 --> 00:41:59,047
Are you causing trouble?

811
00:41:59,142 --> 00:42:00,632
Yes, they are.

812
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,935
Well, a spot of bother
up at ellroy farm.

813
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:07,514
Old Arthur webley's been clipping
hedgerows that don't belong to him.

814
00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:09,311
Th n yi qq ~, 1! Y-
that's it. Es, sir?

815
00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,650
Yes, sir.

816
00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,071
Why do we need the dog?

817
00:42:19,162 --> 00:42:20,743
It's not the dog we need.

818
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:29,584
Right.

819
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:30,787
What did he say?

820
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:38,407
What did he say? He said,
"an 'edge is an 'edge.

821
00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:40,075
"He only chopped it down
'cause it spoilt his view.

822
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:41,509
"What's reaper moaning about?"

823
00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:42,681
Right.

824
00:42:42,769 --> 00:42:44,163
Look, I appreciate your
position, Mr. webley,

825
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:45,998
but you can't go around chopping
down other people's hedges

826
00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,102
without permission.

827
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:50,731
"Yes, I suppose.”

828
00:42:50,860 --> 00:42:51,940
Thank you.

829
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:54,185
All right.

830
00:42:55,865 --> 00:42:58,698
Mr. webley, I trust you have
a license for that firearm?

831
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:02,694
He does for this one.

832
00:43:04,415 --> 00:43:05,871
What do you mean by "this one"?

833
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:22,134
By the power of gray skull.

834
00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:24,181
Where on earth
did you get these?

835
00:43:24,268 --> 00:43:26,179
Found them. He found them!

836
00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:28,352
And what is this?

837
00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:29,849
Sea mine.

838
00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:31,477
Sea mine.

839
00:43:31,734 --> 00:43:34,271
Well, Mr. webley, this is an
extremely dangerous collection.

840
00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:35,923
It's a wonder nobody's
been hurt before.

841
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:37,938
No, it's just a lot of junk.

842
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:52,244
Angel: Move, move, move!

843
00:44:13,192 --> 00:44:14,192
Turner: You what?

844
00:44:14,277 --> 00:44:16,063
No, apparently its
been deactivated. Over.

845
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,236
That's right, deactivated!

846
00:44:18,322 --> 00:44:20,233
It's not live. It looks live.

847
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:21,439
All right.

848
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,827
That was quite an impressive
haul today, constable Butterman.

849
00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:50,264
Well, you know, I mean, maybe we
should do something to celebrate.

850
00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:51,832
Unless you gotta water
your peace Lily.

851
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,167
What exactly did
you have in mind?

852
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:55,227
I don't know. Pub?

853
00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:02,571
Mary: Right you are, my love.

854
00:45:02,658 --> 00:45:04,740
Yes, sirs, what can I get you?

855
00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:06,408
Pint of lager, please, Roy.

856
00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:08,182
And what can I get you that
isn't a cranberry juice?

857
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:09,446
I don't really wanna get drunk.

858
00:45:09,498 --> 00:45:10,863
You can get a little drunk.

859
00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:11,958
Okay, I'll have one.

860
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,616
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.

861
00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:15,959
Mr. Porter, what's
your wine selection?

862
00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:20,666
Oh, we got red or white.

863
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,251
I'll have a pint
of lager, please.

864
00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:25,007
Yeah, Roy.

865
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:31,554
Any news from earlier?

866
00:45:31,646 --> 00:45:34,433
Yeah. CSI found nothing.

867
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:36,730
Doctor hatcher reported
no misadventure

868
00:45:36,817 --> 00:45:38,978
and Mrs. blower has four alibis.

869
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:41,231
Now, come on, sergeant,

870
00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:45,026
it's not your job to investigate
this incident, is it?

871
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:46,983
Ils it?

872
00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:49,535
Both: No, it isn't.

873
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:53,698
You don't switch off, do you?

874
00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:55,374
You sound like my ex.

875
00:45:56,003 --> 00:45:57,743
Well, you are always
thinking away.

876
00:45:57,838 --> 00:45:59,499
It's what I do.

877
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:01,626
Don't get me wrong.
I think it's amazing.

878
00:46:01,717 --> 00:46:03,002
Really?

879
00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:05,710
I mean, what made you
wanna be a policeman?

880
00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:06,881
Officer.

881
00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:09,551
What made you wanna be
a policeman-officer?

882
00:46:12,103 --> 00:46:15,516
I don't remember a time when I
didn't wanna be a police officer.

883
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:19,394
Apart from the summer of 1979 when
I wanted to be Kermit the frog.

884
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,357
He was a sergeant in the met.

885
00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:27,360
He bought me a police pedal
car when I was five.

886
00:46:27,451 --> 00:46:29,567
I rode round in it
every second I was awake.

887
00:46:29,704 --> 00:46:33,037
Arresting kids twice my size
for littering and spitting.

888
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:36,207
I got beaten up a lot when I was
young but it didn't stop me.

889
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:38,205
I wanted to be like uncle Derek.

890
00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:39,416
He sounds like a good bloke.

891
00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:41,795
Actually, he was arrested for
selling drugs to students.

892
00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:43,004
What a cunt.

893
00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:45,504
Probably bought the pedal
car with the proceeds.

894
00:46:45,594 --> 00:46:47,505
Needless to say I never
went near it again.

895
00:46:47,596 --> 00:46:48,881
I just let it rust.

896
00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:51,053
But I never forgot the clear
sense of right and wrong

897
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,091
that I felt at the wheel
of that pedal car.

898
00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:55,809
I had to prove to myself
that the law could be proper

899
00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:58,270
and righteous and for
the good of humankind.

900
00:46:58,399 --> 00:47:01,983
It was from that moment, I was
destined to be a police officer.

901
00:47:02,445 --> 00:47:03,480
Shame.

902
00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:04,651
How so?

903
00:47:04,739 --> 00:47:07,276
I think you would've
made a great muppet.

904
00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:13,778
What about you? What made you
wanna become a police officer?

905
00:47:14,123 --> 00:47:17,206
I don't know. Dad does it.

906
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:19,705
I think after my mum died,
it's what he wanted, you know,

907
00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:21,501
keep me close by.

908
00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:23,750
Do you mind if I ask
how she died?

909
00:47:23,841 --> 00:47:25,581
Traffic collision.

910
00:47:26,385 --> 00:47:27,750
I'm I s orry

911
00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:31,136
never mind. Hey, watch this.

912
00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:33,635
Jesus Christ!

913
00:47:33,726 --> 00:47:34,886
Oh, my eye!

914
00:47:36,562 --> 00:47:37,722
Ta-da!

915
00:47:37,813 --> 00:47:39,644
Hey, come on, silly bollocks,
get them in.

916
00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:53,359
177.

917
00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:54,739
Mr. Skinner.

918
00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:56,183
You know George merchant,
don't you?

919
00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:57,413
Evening, officer.

920
00:47:57,500 --> 00:48:00,412
Yes, we were just
discussing the accident.

921
00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:03,916
I'd come to know Martin
and Eve very well of late.

922
00:48:04,006 --> 00:48:05,587
Such a loss.

923
00:48:05,674 --> 00:48:08,086
What say we drink
to their demise?

924
00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:09,821
Shouldn't that be
"drink to their memories"?

925
00:48:09,845 --> 00:48:12,086
Of course. Cheers.

926
00:48:12,181 --> 00:48:14,012
I must go to the
little boys' room.

927
00:48:15,351 --> 00:48:16,431
George: I'm all right!

928
00:48:16,519 --> 00:48:18,134
“Little” being
the operative word.

929
00:48:18,687 --> 00:48:21,303
Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.

930
00:48:30,116 --> 00:48:32,778
I think somebody
needs to go home.

931
00:48:32,868 --> 00:48:34,529
I'm... I'm not that drunk, sir.

932
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:36,611
Not you. Him.

933
00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:40,038
What?

934
00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:45,203
Hey, we did get a little drunk.
Did you get it?

935
00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:48,004
'Cause he's... he's
little and he's drunk.

936
00:48:49,844 --> 00:48:51,709
Oh, good grief.

937
00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:55,046
It's hardly in keeping with the
village's rustic aesthetic, is it?

938
00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:58,132
How much do I owe you?

939
00:48:58,227 --> 00:48:59,387
Twenty quid.

940
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,511
There you go.

941
00:49:02,022 --> 00:49:03,102
And there's your change.

942
00:49:03,190 --> 00:49:04,270
God bless you.

943
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:06,140
Bye-bye.

944
00:49:09,196 --> 00:49:10,732
I'm all right.

945
00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:13,940
Oh, dear.

946
00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:15,865
I would not wanna be
him in the morning.

947
00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:29,838
Well, this is me.

948
00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:34,169
Well, I shall see you
in the morning.

949
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:37,096
Unless you wanna come in
for a cup of coffee?

950
00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:38,509
I don't drink coffee.

951
00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:39,841
Tea?

952
00:49:39,935 --> 00:49:42,017
No caffeine after midday.

953
00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:44,602
How about another beer?

954
00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:53,524
Oh, dear.

955
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:01,362
When did you move in?

956
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:03,197
About five years ago.

957
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:05,703
You should get
some house plants.

958
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:07,125
Oh, yeah, yeah.

959
00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:10,046
Yeah. I've been tending my peace
Lily for about three years now.

960
00:50:11,634 --> 00:50:15,172
It oxygenates the room, helps
you think, relieves stress.

961
00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:17,093
Its needs are simple.

962
00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:24,556
Janine used to say I love my
Lily more than I loved her.

963
00:50:24,647 --> 00:50:25,978
Is that why you split up?

964
00:50:26,065 --> 00:50:27,145
What?

965
00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:29,898
'Cause you did it with a plant?

966
00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:31,225
No, no, no.

967
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,858
It was more about me being
obsessed with the job.

968
00:50:35,157 --> 00:50:37,489
That's good though, right?

969
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,449
Is it though?

970
00:50:39,537 --> 00:50:41,744
I did miss a few dinners.

971
00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:44,742
You know, parties,
a birthday or two.

972
00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:46,077
Listen, mate, I...

973
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,954
Her dad's funeral.

974
00:50:49,088 --> 00:50:51,329
I just wanna be good
at what I do.

975
00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:53,539
You are good at what you do.

976
00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:59,428
You've just gotta learn to switch
off that big old melon of yours.

977
00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:03,557
That's the whole problem, Danny.

978
00:51:06,939 --> 00:51:08,930
I don't think I know how.

979
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,849
I can show you how.

980
00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:20,528
By the power of gray skull.

981
00:51:21,287 --> 00:51:23,699
Point break or bad boys 1?

982
00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:25,149
Which one do you
think I'll prefer?

983
00:51:25,207 --> 00:51:27,323
No, I mean which one
do you wanna watch first?

984
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:28,624
You are pulling my leg?

985
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,659
What did you think of that?

986
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:14,541
Well, I won't argue that
it was a no holds barred,

987
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:17,669
adrenalin fuelled thrill ride but
there's no way you could perpetrate

988
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:19,125
that amount of carnage
and mayhem

989
00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:22,006
and not incur a considerable
amount of paperwork.

990
00:52:22,097 --> 00:52:23,428
That is nothing, man.

991
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,218
This is about to go off.

992
00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:42,898
This shit just got real.

993
00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:48,570
Hatcher: Nasty way to go.

994
00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:52,659
I think our Mr. merchant tried to have
a little fry up and left the gas on.

995
00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:57,668
Spends his whole life
devoted to the refrigerator

996
00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:00,291
then gets killed by an oven.

997
00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:04,591
I told him several times, you
shouldn't eat late at night.

998
00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:07,594
Oh, I don't know. I quite like
a little midnight gobble.

999
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:08,891
Cocks.

1000
00:53:08,977 --> 00:53:12,640
So, what do we reckon? Angel?

1001
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:15,097
Help me.

1002
00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:17,061
Okay, we get a proper cordon up,

1003
00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:19,188
we let the fire crews
finish their stuff,

1004
00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:22,021
and then we get forensics in to
do a thorough sweep of the house.

1005
00:53:22,116 --> 00:53:24,823
Very good. What he said.

1006
00:53:24,910 --> 00:53:27,026
Sergeant angel, hi-hi.
A quick word?

1007
00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,453
Mr. messenger, a statement
will be issued shortly.

1008
00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:30,642
Actually, I just wanted to ask,

1009
00:53:30,666 --> 00:53:32,202
"what's your perfect Sunday?”

1010
00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:34,658
I'll deal with the
press, sergeant.

1011
00:53:34,753 --> 00:53:39,247
Now, my perfect Sunday
is a lovely long lie in...

1012
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:45,128
Fire to destroy all you've done

1013
00:53:49,268 --> 00:53:50,548
man on radio: Like in the films.

1014
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:53,685
Something like,
something out of backdraft.

1015
00:53:55,524 --> 00:53:57,515
What are you thinking?
Foul play?

1016
00:53:57,609 --> 00:53:59,190
Angel: Maybe.

1017
00:53:59,278 --> 00:54:02,862
We're just hoping to talk to the last
people to see Mr. merchant alive.

1018
00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,773
Namely a sergeant
knickerless asswipe

1019
00:54:05,868 --> 00:54:08,359
and a constable Fanny batterbum.

1020
00:54:08,454 --> 00:54:09,454
That's us.

1021
00:54:09,538 --> 00:54:11,369
Why is this such
a big joke to you?

1022
00:54:11,457 --> 00:54:12,913
Three people have
died in a week.

1023
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,616
Oh, come on, doctor Sherlock,
they were accidents.

1024
00:54:15,711 --> 00:54:17,201
People have accidents every day.

1025
00:54:17,296 --> 00:54:18,627
The victims knew each other.

1026
00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:20,204
Everyone knows everyone
round here.

1027
00:54:20,299 --> 00:54:23,541
Yeah. If you didn't see anything
suspicious, then who did?

1028
00:54:28,891 --> 00:54:30,802
It's a bit of a blind spot,
I'm afraid.

1029
00:54:30,893 --> 00:54:33,134
We just catch the very edge
of the explosion.

1030
00:54:33,228 --> 00:54:35,059
Nasty way to go.

1031
00:54:35,147 --> 00:54:36,432
There was something took my eye.

1032
00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:37,729
Really? What's that?

1033
00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:40,774
Sandford's most wanted.

1034
00:54:42,654 --> 00:54:45,020
There you go. It was
the swan all along.

1035
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,571
This is not funny, detective!

1036
00:54:46,658 --> 00:54:48,398
Oh, give over, miss marples.

1037
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:50,906
Yeah, you do your job
and we'll do ours, eh?

1038
00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:53,237
Yeah. Haven't you got a
church fete to look after?

1039
00:54:53,332 --> 00:54:55,288
No, I have not!

1040
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,411
Actually.

1041
00:54:58,420 --> 00:55:00,331
Reverend shooter:
Testing. Testing.

1042
00:55:00,422 --> 00:55:03,459
Someone's in for a surprise at
3:00, ladies and gentlemen.

1043
00:55:03,884 --> 00:55:07,502
It's the raffle with a very
special guest presenter.

1044
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,420
Out in the country

1045
00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:14,429
far from all the sorts
of noise of the city

1046
00:55:14,603 --> 00:55:17,094
there's a village green

1047
00:55:17,189 --> 00:55:21,057
it's been a long time
since I last set eyes

1048
00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:23,267
on the church with a steeple

1049
00:55:23,362 --> 00:55:25,569
that's me after
a couple of pints.

1050
00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,104
Skinner: Splat the rat.

1051
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:31,483
Splat the rat.

1052
00:55:33,580 --> 00:55:35,616
Splat the rat.

1053
00:55:37,751 --> 00:55:39,287
Shark!

1054
00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:43,085
Seen any murderings, nicholarse?

1055
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:45,789
Come on, boys. Leave sergeant
angel alone, he's working.

1056
00:55:45,884 --> 00:55:49,342
Sorry, chief, won't waste
any more police time.

1057
00:55:49,429 --> 00:55:50,635
Have a nice time.

1058
00:55:50,722 --> 00:55:53,134
Actually, Nicholas, you
might as well take a break.

1059
00:55:53,225 --> 00:55:56,012
Hey, great. I've got
something to show you.

1060
00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:03,224
This is a rifle range.

1061
00:56:03,318 --> 00:56:04,933
You'll be really good at it.

1062
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:07,485
Feeling lucky, sergeant?

1063
00:56:08,323 --> 00:56:10,405
Three cans wins you
the squeaky bunny,

1064
00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:12,949
five cans gets you
the floppy lion.

1065
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:15,152
Take out all the little people,

1066
00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:18,114
you get to waltz off
with the cuddly monkey.

1067
00:56:19,251 --> 00:56:22,664
I thought I made it clear to
you how I feel about firearms.

1068
00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:25,086
It's only an air rifle.

1069
00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:26,542
Sergeant.

1070
00:56:45,193 --> 00:56:46,899
Dear lord!

1071
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,362
That was amazing.

1072
00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:56,284
Thank you, Danny.

1073
00:56:56,371 --> 00:56:57,736
I can't believe I shot someone.

1074
00:56:57,831 --> 00:56:59,287
He's a doctor,
he can deal with it.

1075
00:56:59,374 --> 00:57:01,080
I never shot anyone before.

1076
00:57:01,168 --> 00:57:03,438
Danny, believe me, it's not
something you ever get used to.

1077
00:57:03,462 --> 00:57:05,703
Yeah. Maybe we should
go on the bouncy castle.

1078
00:57:05,797 --> 00:57:06,877
Take our minds off of it.

1079
00:57:06,965 --> 00:57:08,876
Sergeant angel, hi-hi.
Mr. messenger.

1080
00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:11,583
I need to talk to you about
George merchant. Alone.

1081
00:57:12,054 --> 00:57:14,295
Churchyard. 3:00.

1082
00:57:15,974 --> 00:57:17,089
What do you think he wants?

1083
00:57:17,184 --> 00:57:20,221
Reverend shooter: Would sergeant
angel come to the stage, please?

1084
00:57:23,273 --> 00:57:27,232
Here to announce the winners is the newest
addition to the sandford police force.

1085
00:57:27,319 --> 00:57:28,434
Service.

1086
00:57:28,528 --> 00:57:30,268
Sergeant Nicholas angel.

1087
00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:34,109
Wanker.

1088
00:57:35,410 --> 00:57:37,571
Hello. Hello.

1089
00:57:54,638 --> 00:57:59,257
The first name is Simon Skinner:

1090
00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:03,806
He's in the loo.

1091
00:58:04,564 --> 00:58:06,930
Too much of Joyce's
lemonade, perhaps.

1092
00:58:29,297 --> 00:58:31,709
And the next name is...

1093
00:58:35,679 --> 00:58:37,294
Tim messenger.

1094
00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:49,060
Tim, your number's up.

1095
00:58:58,493 --> 00:59:00,154
Excuse me. Excuse me.

1096
00:59:02,664 --> 00:59:03,824
Hi-=-hi.

1097
00:59:08,336 --> 00:59:09,667
Oh, no!

1098
00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:16,125
Stand back, stand back!

1099
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:17,880
There's been
a terrible accident.

1100
00:59:18,013 --> 00:59:19,298
Accident?

1101
00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:20,674
Just an accident.

1102
00:59:21,349 --> 00:59:24,056
It's all right, it's all right.
There's nothing to see.

1103
00:59:24,186 --> 00:59:28,020
Come on, everybody. It's all right.
It's just an accident.

1104
00:59:36,698 --> 00:59:38,313
Frank: Nicholas, what is it?

1105
00:59:38,408 --> 00:59:40,194
Sir, I think all these
deaths are linked.

1106
00:59:40,285 --> 00:59:42,446
I think Tim messenger
was murdered.

1107
00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:44,452
Who could do
something like this?

1108
00:59:44,539 --> 00:59:46,029
Maybe it was the swan.

1109
00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:47,644
Apparently, they can
break a man's arm.

1110
00:59:47,709 --> 00:59:49,199
Or blow up a man's house.

1111
00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:50,294
Listen, you pair of...

1112
00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:52,243
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, Nicholas.

1113
00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:55,088
Now, let me get this straight.

1114
00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:58,459
Are you saying that
this is a erime scene?

1115
00:59:58,553 --> 01:00:00,134
Yes, sir, I am.

1116
01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:01,553
Very well.

1117
01:00:02,099 --> 01:00:03,179
Detectives.

1118
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:04,911
Start interviewing everyone
who was at the fete.

1119
01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:06,015
Oh, he's got shorts on.

1120
01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:07,218
Sergeant Fisher? What?

1121
01:00:07,312 --> 01:00:08,722
Secure the area. What?

1122
01:00:08,814 --> 01:00:10,020
PC Thatcher? Yes, love?

1123
01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:11,722
Get the CSI down here.

1124
01:00:11,817 --> 01:00:13,023
PC Walker?

1125
01:00:13,110 --> 01:00:15,396
Patrol the churchyard
with Saxon.

1126
01:00:15,487 --> 01:00:18,729
Nicholas, Danny,
you know what to do.

1127
01:00:24,996 --> 01:00:27,157
Do you really think
this is murder?

1128
01:00:27,332 --> 01:00:28,976
I just don't think we should
rule it out, that's all.

1129
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,490
Yeah. I think you're right.

1130
01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:32,826
I think you're talking
a load of old shit.

1131
01:00:33,588 --> 01:00:35,169
He thinks you're
talking a load of shit.

1132
01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:36,793
Swings and roundabouts,
isn't it?

1133
01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:38,419
Cartwright: Pain in the arse.

1134
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,671
Did you find anything? Yeah.

1135
01:00:40,762 --> 01:00:42,657
I was extremely shocked
when I looked at my watch

1136
01:00:42,681 --> 01:00:44,158
and discovered that
I should be in the pub.

1137
01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:46,468
Did you go to his house?
Did you read his articles?

1138
01:00:46,601 --> 01:00:47,745
If you wanna Wade
through every copy

1139
01:00:47,769 --> 01:00:50,010
of the sandford bloody
citizen, be our guest.

1140
01:00:50,105 --> 01:00:52,016
It's your job, isn't it? Detect!

1141
01:00:52,107 --> 01:00:54,189
This ain't the city, Mr. angel.

1142
01:00:54,276 --> 01:00:56,358
Not everyone's
a murdering psychopath.

1143
01:00:56,528 --> 01:00:58,143
It's high time
you realized that.

1144
01:00:58,238 --> 01:00:59,899
You and your monkey.

1145
01:01:03,285 --> 01:01:05,276
Did he mean me or that?

1146
01:01:06,955 --> 01:01:09,116
Oh, maybe we should go home.

1147
01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:10,367
What do you mean?

1148
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,414
Well, there's nothing
going on, is there?

1149
01:01:12,502 --> 01:01:14,188
Have you listened to
anything that I've said?

1150
01:01:14,212 --> 01:01:15,327
What do you mean?

1151
01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:17,024
Is anything I've told you
in the last two weeks

1152
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:18,109
sunk into that thick
skull of yours?

1153
01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:19,133
Yeah.

1154
01:01:19,217 --> 01:01:20,923
Has it? Like what?

1155
01:01:21,469 --> 01:01:23,389
You said I could be an
amazing policeman-officer.

1156
01:01:23,471 --> 01:01:25,837
There's always something
going on, Danny.

1157
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:29,558
And you won't be an amazing police
officer until you understand that.

1158
01:01:29,644 --> 01:01:32,010
Well, I remembered something
else you said and all.

1159
01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:33,728
Oh, did you now? Yeah.

1160
01:01:33,815 --> 01:01:36,147
You don't know
how to switch off!

1161
01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:11,829
Cartwright: Well, if you wanna
Wade through every copy

1162
01:02:11,853 --> 01:02:14,185
of the sandford bloody
citizen, be our guest.

1163
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:53,053
Morning, constable.

1164
01:02:53,144 --> 01:02:54,384
All right?

1165
01:02:55,730 --> 01:02:57,595
Thanks for the monkey.

1166
01:02:58,441 --> 01:02:59,556
Yours, isn't it?

1167
01:02:59,651 --> 01:03:00,982
I won it for you.

1168
01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:06,570
Danny, I think
I'm on to something.

1169
01:03:06,658 --> 01:03:07,818
Are you? Yes.

1170
01:03:07,909 --> 01:03:09,615
And I think with
a little deliberation

1171
01:03:09,703 --> 01:03:12,285
we can figure out
what links these deaths.

1172
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:13,827
We?

1173
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,122
Come on, partner.
Let's go to work.

1174
01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:19,163
Oh, oh, sergeant angel?

1175
01:03:19,254 --> 01:03:22,121
Someone from London
called for you.

1176
01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:23,921
Tell them I'll call them back.

1177
01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:25,839
Tim messenger. Go.

1178
01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,758
Editor and journalist
at the sandford citizen.

1179
01:03:27,846 --> 01:03:29,131
Fondness for puns. Go on.

1180
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:30,344
Terrible speller. Oh, yeah?

1181
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:32,451
Nevertheless had uncovered
important information about...

1182
01:03:32,475 --> 01:03:34,215
George merchant.
Self-made millionaire.

1183
01:03:34,311 --> 01:03:36,518
Fancied himself as
a property developer.

1184
01:03:36,604 --> 01:03:37,873
Said he had big plans
for sandford.

1185
01:03:37,897 --> 01:03:39,353
Pissed on the floor
in the crown.

1186
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:41,641
But more importantly, was a
good friend and client of...

1187
01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:43,433
Martin blower.
Respected solicitor.

1188
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:44,528
Affirmatron.

1189
01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:45,840
Leading light of the
local drama society.

1190
01:03:45,864 --> 01:03:47,274
Bad actor. Undoubtedly.

1191
01:03:47,365 --> 01:03:48,901
Bad driver. Not necessarily.

1192
01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:50,653
Cheated on his missus.
Most certainly.

1193
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,700
And we both know who with.
Eve draper.

1194
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:55,616
True.

1195
01:03:55,707 --> 01:03:57,117
Favored older men. Fingered.

1196
01:03:57,208 --> 01:03:58,448
Worked at? Council.

1197
01:03:58,543 --> 01:03:59,658
More specifically?

1198
01:03:59,753 --> 01:04:01,273
Department of planning
and development.

1199
01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:02,953
Where George merchant
secured permission

1200
01:04:03,048 --> 01:04:05,414
to build his dubious mansion
on Norris Avenue.

1201
01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:06,623
So...

1202
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:07,918
Maybe they were all accidents.

1203
01:04:09,137 --> 01:04:10,798
People have accidents every day.

1204
01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:13,550
What are you two up to?

1205
01:04:13,641 --> 01:04:14,641
Nothing.

1206
01:04:14,726 --> 01:04:15,841
Well, look sharp.

1207
01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:17,330
There's been reports of
a fire in the station.

1208
01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:18,685
What?

1209
01:04:18,772 --> 01:04:22,435
All: Happy birthday to you

1210
01:04:22,525 --> 01:04:26,734
happy birthday to you

1211
01:04:26,821 --> 01:04:28,652
Danny, why didn't you
say something?

1212
01:04:28,740 --> 01:04:30,480
We were working, weren't we?

1213
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,405
Hey, where are you going?

1214
01:04:34,496 --> 01:04:35,952
Personal errand.

1215
01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:44,164
Hello, miss tiller.

1216
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:46,962
I was wondering, do you have
any Japanese peace lilies?

1217
01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:48,460
Of course.

1218
01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,676
I was just about to
pop off, actually.

1219
01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:54,800
I can never find my scissors.

1220
01:04:55,058 --> 01:04:57,265
Is this for someone special?

1221
01:04:57,519 --> 01:04:59,384
Yes. Yes, it is.

1222
01:05:01,439 --> 01:05:03,725
Are you going somewhere,
miss tiller?

1223
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:06,058
Yes. I'm moving away.

1224
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:10,358
And why the move, if you
don't mind me asking?

1225
01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:13,565
Well, just between you and I...

1226
01:05:14,035 --> 01:05:15,400
Yes?

1227
01:05:15,495 --> 01:05:16,951
You know that fella who blew up?

1228
01:05:17,038 --> 01:05:18,403
George merchant.

1229
01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:21,661
Well, George merchant, god rest
him, wanted to buy this land,

1230
01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:25,335
so he sends round his legal fella,
Martin blower, god rest him,

1231
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:27,538
and I thought I might
take them up on it.

1232
01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:29,748
I haven't really got that
much family round here,

1233
01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:31,333
save for cousin sissy.

1234
01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:34,886
So I thought I might take them up on
the offer and move to buford Abbey.

1235
01:05:34,973 --> 01:05:36,964
Would you like a card with this?

1236
01:05:37,142 --> 01:05:39,428
No, sorry, you were talking
about the offer?

1237
01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:42,727
Well, it turns out that
Martin blower, god rest him,

1238
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:44,975
knew where the new
bypass road is going

1239
01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:48,149
because he was knocking off Eve draper
from the council, god rest her,

1240
01:05:48,236 --> 01:05:51,945
and then that reporter, god rest
him, finds out about the route

1241
01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:54,147
and tells me this
land's very valuable.

1242
01:05:54,242 --> 01:05:56,483
Ten times what George
merchant and Martin blower,

1243
01:05:56,578 --> 01:05:58,318
god rest them, offered me.

1244
01:05:58,413 --> 01:05:59,823
So, with them having passed on,

1245
01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:01,404
I decided to sell it on myself

1246
01:06:01,499 --> 01:06:04,286
to some folks from the city
that Martin, George and Eve,

1247
01:06:04,377 --> 01:06:06,413
god rest the lot of them,
had been talking to.

1248
01:06:06,504 --> 01:06:09,337
Apparently, they want to build a
big shopping center or something.

1249
01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:12,211
Of course, cousin sissy won't
be too happy about that,

1250
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:14,447
but as far as I'm concerned,
cousin sissy can go and fuck...

1251
01:06:14,471 --> 01:06:17,463
Would you just excuse me,
for just one second?

1252
01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:33,528
Stop!

1253
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,022
In the name of the law!

1254
01:07:34,217 --> 01:07:36,208
Fisher: Hang about, hang about.

1255
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:39,339
You're saying this
wasn't an accident?

1256
01:07:40,682 --> 01:07:42,718
Leslie tiller was
fucking murdered!

1257
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:44,265
What, just like Tim messenger?
Yes

1258
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:45,512
and George merchant? Yes!

1259
01:07:45,603 --> 01:07:46,843
Cartwright: And Eve draper? Yes

1260
01:07:46,938 --> 01:07:48,553
and Martin blower? No, actually.

1261
01:07:48,648 --> 01:07:50,513
Really? 'Course he fucking was!

1262
01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:52,519
Thank you, Danny.

1263
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,271
Oh, murder, murder, murder.

1264
01:07:54,362 --> 01:07:55,943
Change the fucking record.

1265
01:07:56,531 --> 01:07:57,691
Thank you, Andy.

1266
01:07:57,782 --> 01:07:59,488
Come on, sergeant,
you've gotta accept

1267
01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:02,033
it was just another
nasty accident,

1268
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:03,200
what are you suggesting?

1269
01:08:03,288 --> 01:08:05,779
That Leslie tiller tripped
and fell on her own shears?

1270
01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:08,330
Ben Fletcher fell on his
pitchfork the other week.

1271
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:09,874
Yeah, accidents
happen all the time.

1272
01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:11,872
What makes you think
it was murder?

1273
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,419
Because I was there!

1274
01:08:13,506 --> 01:08:14,916
Cartwright: There's a point.

1275
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,373
Why were you there?

1276
01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:18,128
I was buying constable Butterman

1277
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:20,710
a Japanese peace Lily
for his birthday.

1278
01:08:20,805 --> 01:08:23,387
What absolute horseshit.

1279
01:08:23,474 --> 01:08:25,430
I chased a suspect
from the scene.

1280
01:08:25,518 --> 01:08:27,429
Innocent people don't run!

1281
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:30,603
Here, maybe it was our old
friend, the cactus thief.

1282
01:08:30,690 --> 01:08:33,397
Oh, yeah, he was a prickly
customer, weren't he?

1283
01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:36,942
Am I going completely mad?

1284
01:08:39,073 --> 01:08:40,734
Maybe you are.

1285
01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:45,402
Maybe you did it.

1286
01:08:45,496 --> 01:08:48,829
Yeah, seeing as how you're
such a big fan of murder.

1287
01:08:48,916 --> 01:08:50,326
What the... sergeant angel?

1288
01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:52,909
Yes! Sir.

1289
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:58,373
Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.

1290
01:08:58,468 --> 01:09:01,050
What am I going to do with you?

1291
01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:02,502
Sir, you have to understand...

1292
01:09:02,597 --> 01:09:05,634
No, you have to understand.

1293
01:09:06,684 --> 01:09:10,643
The boys here aren't used to the
concepts you're bandying about.

1294
01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:13,763
The "m" word, Nicholas.

1295
01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:18,067
There hasn't been a recorded
murder in sandford for 20 years.

1296
01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:19,985
But, sir, I'm certain.

1297
01:09:20,490 --> 01:09:23,732
And what's more,
I know who did it.

1298
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,702
Can I see the manager, please?

1299
01:09:37,215 --> 01:09:39,547
Mr. Skinner to the
manager's office.

1300
01:09:39,634 --> 01:09:43,172
Manager's office. Mr. Skinner.

1301
01:09:43,888 --> 01:09:45,378
Sergeant angel.

1302
01:09:45,473 --> 01:09:47,338
And to what do I owe
this pleasure?

1303
01:09:47,433 --> 01:09:49,193
Simon Skinner, I'm
arresting you on suspicion

1304
01:09:49,227 --> 01:09:51,513
of the murder of Leslie tiller.

1305
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:55,062
Leslie tiller's dead? How?

1306
01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:57,523
She tripped and fell
on her own shears.

1307
01:09:57,610 --> 01:09:58,725
Owl

1308
01:09:59,153 --> 01:10:02,486
I'm also arresting you on suspicion of
the murder of Tim messenger on may 1st,

1309
01:10:02,573 --> 01:10:04,188
of George merchant on April 29th

1310
01:10:04,283 --> 01:10:06,865
and of Eve draper and Martin
blower on April 28th.

1311
01:10:06,953 --> 01:10:09,160
Why on earth would
I do that, sergeant?

1312
01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:11,158
I'm glad you asked.

1313
01:10:12,709 --> 01:10:14,870
My suspicions were first
aroused when you appeared

1314
01:10:14,961 --> 01:10:17,748
at the scene of the blower-draper
death, on the outskirts of sandford,

1315
01:10:17,839 --> 01:10:21,673
despite the fact you live and work
in the center of the village.

1316
01:10:22,885 --> 01:10:24,716
I couldn't help but
recall your comments

1317
01:10:24,804 --> 01:10:27,216
at the theater on
the previous evening.

1318
01:10:27,473 --> 01:10:30,431
When you not only indicated an
awareness of the couple's affair

1319
01:10:30,518 --> 01:10:32,579
but also inferred that Eve's
connections at the council

1320
01:10:32,603 --> 01:10:35,561
might make her privy
to important information.

1321
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,934
You even spoke of
"bashing her head in."

1322
01:10:38,025 --> 01:10:41,643
Perhaps hoping you might discover the
route of the proposed sandford bypass.

1323
01:10:41,738 --> 01:10:44,049
You were already suspicious that
George merchant was buying up

1324
01:10:44,073 --> 01:10:46,359
a large area of land on
the outskirts of sandford,

1325
01:10:46,451 --> 01:10:49,409
after an article Tim messenger
wrote in the sandford citizen.

1326
01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:51,031
You see, the land
merchant was buying

1327
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:53,158
had little value
in of itself but,

1328
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,035
if it became accessible by road,

1329
01:10:55,126 --> 01:10:57,162
it would be a prime
location for say,

1330
01:10:57,545 --> 01:10:59,206
a retail park.

1331
01:10:59,297 --> 01:11:01,288
Consumed with concern
for your business

1332
01:11:01,382 --> 01:11:03,418
and potential disloyalty
from fickle customers,

1333
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:06,091
you yourself expressed
a wish to behead.

1334
01:11:06,596 --> 01:11:09,258
Em atn om eran ses mene te ee et
rt a esr etre rh a rf tl st sees I

1335
01:11:09,348 --> 01:11:11,259
staging the murders
as accidents.

1336
01:11:11,350 --> 01:11:12,715
You used a vehicle removal truck

1337
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:14,425
to stage the blower-draper death

1338
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:16,431
and incinerated an old man
in his own house.

1339
01:11:16,522 --> 01:11:19,730
Covering your tracks with the judicial
application of bacon and beans.

1340
01:11:19,817 --> 01:11:22,775
However, there was a loose end.

1341
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,277
Tim messenger.

1342
01:11:25,364 --> 01:11:27,525
Splattered before he
could share with me

1343
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:30,575
what he told Leslie tiller
that very afternoon.

1344
01:11:30,661 --> 01:11:33,528
The true value of her land.

1345
01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:36,827
Upon discovering she was about
to sell up to the developers,

1346
01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:39,751
you brutally murdered her
with her own shears.

1347
01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:44,581
And made good your escape utilizing
your impressive skills as a fun runner.

1348
01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:52,497
Very entertaining.
But I rather think

1349
01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:54,844
you've been watching
too many films.

1350
01:11:56,437 --> 01:11:57,517
He hasn't.

1351
01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:59,186
Why would I kill Leslie?

1352
01:11:59,273 --> 01:12:01,355
You clearly aren't aware
that we're related.

1353
01:12:01,442 --> 01:12:04,024
Oh, but I am, "cousin sissy."

1354
01:12:05,530 --> 01:12:07,691
I'm afraid my nickname of sissy

1355
01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,864
is only a revelation
to yourself.

1356
01:12:10,117 --> 01:12:13,530
My teenage years studying
ballet are well known.

1357
01:12:13,621 --> 01:12:15,077
Yeah, sissy Skinner.

1358
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:16,850
Se I a fe srr rant tees srr at
eee sal eee ss esse le ee re ae

1359
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,364
thank you, Andrews.

1360
01:12:18,459 --> 01:12:21,872
Now, despite my comments
about "beheading" customers,

1361
01:12:21,963 --> 01:12:25,455
I personally relish the
competition of another store.

1362
01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:29,209
Anything to energize
my workforce.

1363
01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:32,257
And anyway, what makes you think

1364
01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:35,306
I could dislodge
part of the church roof?

1365
01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:37,891
Or for that matter,
stage a car crash?

1366
01:12:37,979 --> 01:12:41,312
It's a well known fact that the church
roof is in dire need of repair.

1367
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,556
And isn't it true that two
of your own employees

1368
01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:46,142
operate the vehicle removal
service for the council?

1369
01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:48,569
Sergeant,
this is the 21st century.

1370
01:12:48,656 --> 01:12:51,568
Many people hold down
several jobs.

1371
01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:55,402
I myself host a life drawing
class at the village hall.

1372
01:12:55,496 --> 01:12:58,488
Tina here is a table dancer
at flappers.

1373
01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:00,573
Nevertheless, you
could have utilized

1374
01:13:00,668 --> 01:13:02,750
the vehicle removal truck
for your own ends.

1375
01:13:02,837 --> 01:13:04,828
These accusations are quite
meaningless, sergeant,

1376
01:13:04,964 --> 01:13:07,580
unless you can back them up
with hard evidence.

1377
01:13:07,675 --> 01:13:10,257
Well, you've got me there.

1378
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,335
I'd need something conclusive.

1379
01:13:12,430 --> 01:13:14,591
Something that placed you
at the scene of the crime.

1380
01:13:14,682 --> 01:13:16,013
Perhaps a wound you sustained

1381
01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:18,682
on a piece of broken glass
this very evening.

1382
01:13:20,354 --> 01:13:22,015
This very evening.

1383
01:13:23,274 --> 01:13:26,516
Sergeant, this is beginning
to get embarrassing.

1384
01:13:26,652 --> 01:13:29,815
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1385
01:13:32,116 --> 01:13:36,780
I'm sure the store's security
footage will absolve me.

1386
01:13:37,496 --> 01:13:40,158
Do feel free to spool through.

1387
01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:58,680
I can handle this, Danny.

1388
01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:02,056
You might as well go back and just
enjoy the rest of your birthday.

1389
01:14:02,146 --> 01:14:03,431
Did you really
get me that plant?

1390
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:04,728
Yes, I did.

1391
01:14:04,815 --> 01:14:08,273
But it's been impounded
as evidence.

1392
01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:12,980
Well, I mean, maybe dad will
still let me water it, eh?

1393
01:14:13,074 --> 01:14:14,234
Yeah.

1394
01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:19,072
Sergeant, I wanted you
to know that

1395
01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:22,496
if I do indeed now own
the land belonging to...

1396
01:14:24,251 --> 01:14:27,038
Belonging to Leslie,
that I intend to turn it

1397
01:14:27,129 --> 01:14:30,087
into a memorial garden,
in her honor.

1398
01:14:30,174 --> 01:14:34,759
Mr. Skinner, what you do with your
land is of no concern of mine,

1399
01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:38,762
so jog on.

1400
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:41,428
Michael, will you
escort the sergeant

1401
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:44,261
off the premises when
he's quite finished?

1402
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:45,891
Yarp.

1403
01:14:49,026 --> 01:14:52,109
I just can't believe
Leslie's dead.

1404
01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:53,356
How did it happen?

1405
01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:55,779
She tripped and fell
on her own shears.

1406
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:06,123
Hey, that weren't me.

1407
01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:15,336
Hey, look.

1408
01:15:15,428 --> 01:15:18,135
Look, Mr. treacher's got
his big coat on again.

1409
01:15:21,809 --> 01:15:24,175
You want anything from the shop?

1410
01:15:24,979 --> 01:15:26,219
Cornetto.

1411
01:15:28,774 --> 01:15:30,560
No luck catching
them killers, then?

1412
01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:32,733
It's just the one killer,
actually.

1413
01:15:36,365 --> 01:15:37,980
No luck catching
them killers, then?

1414
01:15:38,075 --> 01:15:39,656
It's just the one killer,
actually.

1415
01:15:39,744 --> 01:15:41,450
No luck catching
them killers, then?

1416
01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:43,073
It's just the one killer,
actually.

1417
01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:45,155
No luck catching
them killers, then?

1418
01:15:45,249 --> 01:15:47,160
It's just the one killer,
actually.

1419
01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:48,811
What's the matter?
You got brain-freeze?

1420
01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:50,497
No, I got brainwave.

1421
01:15:50,588 --> 01:15:52,874
Get us back to the station, now!

1422
01:15:59,847 --> 01:16:01,553
It's more than one person.
Come again?

1423
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:02,880
It's more than one killer.

1424
01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:04,511
It was Skinner a minute ago.

1425
01:16:04,602 --> 01:16:05,746
Yeah, well, maybe it still is.

1426
01:16:05,770 --> 01:16:08,206
You know, maybe he's... maybe he's
not alone. Maybe there are others.

1427
01:16:08,230 --> 01:16:11,188
Nicholas, you're
an exceptional officer.

1428
01:16:11,275 --> 01:16:13,391
But I've seen this before.

1429
01:16:13,861 --> 01:16:16,443
Sergeant popwell.

1430
01:16:16,530 --> 01:16:19,363
It was exactly the same thing.

1431
01:16:19,450 --> 01:16:23,864
You've come from a city where
there's danger round every corner,

1432
01:16:24,330 --> 01:16:26,867
and it's driven you
round the bend.

1433
01:16:27,374 --> 01:16:28,659
Yes, sir.

1434
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:32,376
Do yourself a favor.
Sleep on it.

1435
01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:35,296
And if you still feel
the same in the morning,

1436
01:16:35,382 --> 01:16:38,215
I give you my word,
I'll get right on to it.

1437
01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:45,468
Hey. Hey, what's happening?
What's going on?

1438
01:16:46,102 --> 01:16:48,058
Nothing, nothing.

1439
01:16:48,145 --> 01:16:50,056
I'm just gonna go
back to the hotel.

1440
01:16:50,147 --> 01:16:52,103
I mean, do you want a lift?

1441
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:55,315
No, no, I could do with a walk.

1442
01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:02,003
Hey, big one, playtime's over.

1443
01:18:06,390 --> 01:18:07,755
Skinner on walkie-talkie:
Michael?

1444
01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:11,304
Michael? Are you there?

1445
01:18:11,979 --> 01:18:16,018
Michael? Is everything okay?

1446
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:19,854
Yarp.

1447
01:18:19,945 --> 01:18:22,687
Sergeant angel's
been taken care of?

1448
01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:23,896
Yarp.

1449
01:18:23,991 --> 01:18:26,448
He's not gonna
get back up again?

1450
01:18:29,079 --> 01:18:30,364
Narp!

1451
01:18:31,624 --> 01:18:34,206
Good. Proceed to the castle.

1452
01:18:39,423 --> 01:18:41,163
Frank, this shit just got real.

1453
01:18:41,258 --> 01:18:42,748
Skinner just sent
someone to kill me,

1454
01:18:42,843 --> 01:18:45,050
and, now, now he's
gone somewhere,

1455
01:18:45,137 --> 01:18:46,489
up to the...
To the castle, I think.

1456
01:18:46,513 --> 01:18:47,782
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go after him.

1457
01:18:47,806 --> 01:18:50,138
Okay? It's Nicholas, by the way.

1458
01:18:52,228 --> 01:18:53,718
Oh, my god.

1459
01:18:54,939 --> 01:18:56,895
What happened to
your peace Lily?

1460
01:18:56,982 --> 01:18:59,223
Danny. Danny,
just stay here, okay?

1461
01:18:59,318 --> 01:19:00,899
And watch him,
and call your dad.

1462
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:01,986
Tell him I was right.

1463
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:03,071
What are you gonna do?

1464
01:19:03,155 --> 01:19:04,691
I'm gonna bust
this thing wide open.

1465
01:19:04,782 --> 01:19:06,443
Nicholas, wait.

1466
01:19:07,868 --> 01:19:09,654
You might need this.

1467
01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:11,694
Thanks, partner.

1468
01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:48,235
Skinner: How could I possibly
be in several places at once?

1469
01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:51,488
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1470
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:54,866
How could I possibly be
in several places at once?

1471
01:19:56,000 --> 01:20:00,118
Joyce: I just can't believe Leslie's dead.
How did it happen?

1472
01:20:00,212 --> 01:20:03,295
Weaver: You'll find that we
run a very tight ship here.

1473
01:20:03,382 --> 01:20:05,277
Reverend shooter: Who could
do something like this?

1474
01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:07,529
Hatcher: Seems like Mr. merchant
tried to have a little fry up

1475
01:20:07,553 --> 01:20:08,668
and left the gas on.

1476
01:20:08,762 --> 01:20:10,093
Nasty way to go.

1477
01:20:10,180 --> 01:20:11,340
Amanda: What happened, Danny?

1478
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:13,221
Annette: No luck catching
them killers, then?

1479
01:20:13,309 --> 01:20:15,174
No luck catching
them killers, then?

1480
01:20:15,269 --> 01:20:17,476
No luck catching them...

1481
01:20:20,941 --> 01:20:23,353
Now, quick announcement
before we begin.

1482
01:20:23,444 --> 01:20:27,813
Janet barker has decided to
call her boys Roger and Martin.

1483
01:20:27,906 --> 01:20:33,196
And the christening will be a week
on Saturday and we're all invited.

1484
01:20:33,454 --> 01:20:34,454
Tom.

1485
01:20:34,538 --> 01:20:35,778
Thanks, Joyce.

1486
01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:39,115
Now, you'll all be
delighted to hear

1487
01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:43,873
that the tenacious sergeant
angel has been taken care of.

1488
01:20:43,964 --> 01:20:47,297
Joyce will discover
the sergeant lying

1489
01:20:47,384 --> 01:20:49,545
on the wet floor
of his bathroom,

1490
01:20:49,636 --> 01:20:53,879
having slipped and
tragically broken his neck.

1491
01:20:53,974 --> 01:20:56,056
So, with the dispatch
of the sergeant,

1492
01:20:56,143 --> 01:20:57,883
we will now be
able to concentrate

1493
01:20:57,978 --> 01:21:00,219
on the eradication of
our hoodie infestation.

1494
01:21:00,314 --> 01:21:01,394
Quite right.

1495
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:04,895
After which, nothing
will stand in our way.

1496
01:21:04,985 --> 01:21:07,897
Oh, I beg to differ, Mr. Weaver.

1497
01:21:07,988 --> 01:21:12,231
Well, well, well,
I see we have visitors.

1498
01:21:12,576 --> 01:21:15,739
Sergeant Nicholas angel.
Sandford police service.

1499
01:21:15,829 --> 01:21:18,571
My, he is tenacious, isn't he?

1500
01:21:18,665 --> 01:21:19,934
I'm arresting you
under suspicion

1501
01:21:19,958 --> 01:21:21,494
of conspiracy to commit murder.

1502
01:21:21,627 --> 01:21:24,414
Oh, come, come, sergeant.

1503
01:21:24,505 --> 01:21:26,086
You should be ashamed.

1504
01:21:26,173 --> 01:21:27,913
Calling yourself
a community that cares.

1505
01:21:28,008 --> 01:21:29,748
Oh, but we do care, Nicholas.

1506
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:31,583
It's all about the greater good.

1507
01:21:31,678 --> 01:21:33,168
All: The greater good.

1508
01:21:33,263 --> 01:21:34,753
How can this be
for the greater good?

1509
01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:36,338
All: The greater good.

1510
01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:38,661
You see, as much as I enjoyed
your wild theories, sergeant,

1511
01:21:38,685 --> 01:21:40,346
the truth is far less complex.

1512
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:42,435
Blower's fate was
simply the result

1513
01:21:42,523 --> 01:21:45,606
of his being an appalling actor.

1514
01:21:47,194 --> 01:21:48,434
All: Quite appalling.

1515
01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:50,269
You murdered him for that?

1516
01:21:51,365 --> 01:21:52,592
Well, he murdered
bill Shakespeare.

1517
01:21:52,616 --> 01:21:53,776
What?

1518
01:21:53,867 --> 01:21:57,359
The dramatic society is an
important feather in our cap.

1519
01:21:57,704 --> 01:21:59,182
Hatcher: Couldn't let
blower jeopardize that.

1520
01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:01,518
Not when we had two semi-professionals
waiting in the wings.

1521
01:22:01,542 --> 01:22:04,124
Let's not forget that Greg
was an extra in straw dogs.

1522
01:22:04,211 --> 01:22:06,122
And sheree played a cadaver
in prime suspect.

1523
01:22:06,213 --> 01:22:07,623
Yes, I know!

1524
01:22:07,714 --> 01:22:10,296
Martin was less concerned with
the reputation of the village

1525
01:22:10,384 --> 01:22:13,626
than he was with his sordid
affair with Eve draper.

1526
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:15,301
And so Eve deserved to die too?

1527
01:22:15,389 --> 01:22:17,801
Well, she did have
a very annoying laugh.

1528
01:22:17,891 --> 01:22:19,131
All: Annoying.

1529
01:22:19,226 --> 01:22:20,226
And, and George merchant?

1530
01:22:20,310 --> 01:22:22,050
He had an awful house.

1531
01:22:22,354 --> 01:22:23,389
All: Awful.

1532
01:22:23,522 --> 01:22:25,202
We begged him in vain
to make his residence

1533
01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:27,814
more in keeping with the
village's rustic aesthetic.

1534
01:22:28,902 --> 01:22:31,484
And what about Tim messenger?
What was his crime?

1535
01:22:31,572 --> 01:22:36,236
Tim messenger's tenure as editor of the
sandford citizen has been unbearable.

1536
01:22:36,368 --> 01:22:40,156
Our once great paper had become
riddled with tabloid journalism.

1537
01:22:40,247 --> 01:22:42,238
Not to mention
persistent errors.

1538
01:22:42,332 --> 01:22:43,788
He listed her age as 55.

1539
01:22:43,876 --> 01:22:45,582
When, actually, I'm 83.

1540
01:22:45,669 --> 01:22:47,159
Fifty-three.

1541
01:22:47,254 --> 01:22:48,982
What, what about Leslie tiller?
One of your own?

1542
01:22:49,006 --> 01:22:51,497
Her horticultural expertise
helped put sandford on the map.

1543
01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:53,583
Oh, she was ever so good.

1544
01:22:53,719 --> 01:22:55,880
Cousin Leslie was
a terrible shame.

1545
01:22:56,180 --> 01:22:59,843
But it seemed she was
set on moving away.

1546
01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:03,346
We couldn't have her sharing her
green fingers with anybody else.

1547
01:23:03,437 --> 01:23:05,348
Not least those heathens
at buford Abbey.

1548
01:23:05,439 --> 01:23:08,101
If we can't have her,
no one can.

1549
01:23:08,233 --> 01:23:09,769
How can this be
for the greater good?

1550
01:23:09,902 --> 01:23:11,938
All: The greater good. Shut it!

1551
01:23:12,029 --> 01:23:13,314
These people died for no reason.

1552
01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:15,145
No reason whatsoever!

1553
01:23:15,282 --> 01:23:17,773
Oh, I wouldn't say that.

1554
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:20,905
Hello, Nicholas.

1555
01:23:21,955 --> 01:23:23,911
I was like you once.

1556
01:23:24,500 --> 01:23:27,958
I believed in the immutable
word of the law.

1557
01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:32,087
That is until the night Mrs.
Butterman was taken from me.

1558
01:23:32,966 --> 01:23:35,628
You see, no one loved
sandford more than her.

1559
01:23:35,761 --> 01:23:37,251
She was head of
the women's institute,

1560
01:23:37,346 --> 01:23:39,712
chair of the floral committee.

1561
01:23:39,806 --> 01:23:41,888
When they started the village
of the year contest,

1562
01:23:41,975 --> 01:23:43,590
she worked round the clock.

1563
01:23:43,685 --> 01:23:45,676
I've never seen such dedication.

1564
01:23:47,022 --> 01:23:49,513
On the Eve of
the adjudicator's arrival,

1565
01:23:49,608 --> 01:23:52,190
some travelers moved
into Callahan park.

1566
01:23:53,153 --> 01:23:54,893
Before you could say,
"gypsy scum,”

1567
01:23:54,988 --> 01:23:56,694
we were knee-deep in dog muck,

1568
01:23:56,823 --> 01:23:59,109
thieving kids
and crusty jugglers.

1569
01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:00,941
All: Crusty jugglers.

1570
01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:04,153
We lost the title
and Irene lost her mind.

1571
01:24:05,123 --> 01:24:09,241
She drove her Datsun cherry
into sandford gorge.

1572
01:24:09,336 --> 01:24:14,501
From that moment on, I swore
that I would do her proud.

1573
01:24:14,841 --> 01:24:19,335
And whatever the cost, we would
make sandford great again.

1574
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:21,511
Sir, this doesn't
make any sense.

1575
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:23,551
The adjudicators
arrive tomorrow.

1576
01:24:23,642 --> 01:24:25,473
We had to get everything ready.

1577
01:24:25,561 --> 01:24:28,268
Are you saying this is all about
winning the best village award?

1578
01:24:28,355 --> 01:24:30,471
This is the best village,
Nicholas.

1579
01:24:30,566 --> 01:24:32,102
You've seen the people. Peop

1580
01:24:32,192 --> 01:24:34,649
they're happy, contented.

1581
01:24:34,736 --> 01:24:36,601
They're living in a dream world.

1582
01:24:36,697 --> 01:24:39,313
Sergeant popwell thought
much the same as you.

1583
01:24:39,408 --> 01:24:41,444
I'm disappointed you can't
see the bigger picture.

1584
01:24:41,535 --> 01:24:43,947
Well, I'm happy to
disappoint you, sir.

1585
01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:45,848
And I'm afraid you're gonna
have to come with me.

1586
01:24:45,872 --> 01:24:47,954
You are all gonna
have to come with me.

1587
01:24:48,041 --> 01:24:52,125
No, Nicholas,
I'm afraid it is you

1588
01:24:52,212 --> 01:24:54,954
who is going to have
to come with us.

1589
01:25:03,015 --> 01:25:04,596
Danny, no.

1590
01:25:09,021 --> 01:25:10,477
Back off! Back off!

1591
01:25:10,564 --> 01:25:12,875
Or I swear to god, you'll be
explaining how Danny tripped over

1592
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,379
and accidentally
cut off his own head.

1593
01:25:14,443 --> 01:25:16,604
Come on, Nicholas. You
haven't got it in you.

1594
01:25:16,737 --> 01:25:18,068
I mean it!

1595
01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:22,948
Shit!

1596
01:25:37,758 --> 01:25:41,046
Frank: Gypsy scum. Travelers.

1597
01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:44,253
Thieving kids. Dog muck.

1598
01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:48,340
All: Crusty jugglers.

1599
01:25:48,602 --> 01:25:52,140
Crusty jugglers.
Crusty jugglers.

1600
01:25:53,023 --> 01:25:54,354
Crusty jugglers.

1601
01:25:54,441 --> 01:25:58,059
Frank: There hasn't been a recorded
murder in sandford for 20 years.

1602
01:25:58,153 --> 01:25:59,484
There's a reason we accommodate

1603
01:25:59,571 --> 01:26:01,107
a few of the younglings
at the pub.

1604
01:26:01,198 --> 01:26:03,735
Spot of bother up
at ellroy farm.

1605
01:26:03,825 --> 01:26:06,612
I'll make sure everyone
gets their just deserts.

1606
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:14,625
Weaver: If we don't come down
hard on these clowns...

1607
01:26:14,711 --> 01:26:16,451
Frank: We'll get round to it.

1608
01:26:28,684 --> 01:26:29,719
Danny!

1609
01:27:04,845 --> 01:27:06,176
Ta-=da.

1610
01:27:06,346 --> 01:27:07,927
What are you doing?

1611
01:27:08,014 --> 01:27:09,550
Saving your skin.

1612
01:27:11,852 --> 01:27:12,932
This is murder!

1613
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:14,509
It's not, it's ketchup.

1614
01:27:14,604 --> 01:27:17,346
I'm not talking about that,
I'm talking about the others.

1615
01:27:17,441 --> 01:27:18,441
What others?

1616
01:27:18,525 --> 01:27:20,436
The others the nwa
have murdered.

1617
01:27:20,527 --> 01:27:21,812
That's not true. It is!

1618
01:27:21,903 --> 01:27:24,064
Dad just said it was
his special club, he...

1619
01:27:24,197 --> 01:27:26,092
I thought it was about rapping
people on the knuckles

1620
01:27:26,116 --> 01:27:27,316
and sending them on their way.

1621
01:27:27,367 --> 01:27:29,323
There are skeletons back there!

1622
01:27:29,411 --> 01:27:31,051
I don't know nothing
about no skelingtons.

1623
01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:32,265
What did you think
was happening?

1624
01:27:32,289 --> 01:27:33,324
Not this!

1625
01:27:33,415 --> 01:27:34,530
It's f erank

1626
01:27:34,624 --> 01:27:36,831
he's appointed himself
judge, jury and executioner.

1627
01:27:36,918 --> 01:27:38,658
He's not judge Judy
and executioner.

1628
01:27:38,754 --> 01:27:40,164
He is!

1629
01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:41,916
You've gotta help me
take him down.

1630
01:27:42,007 --> 01:27:43,543
I can't.

1631
01:27:44,551 --> 01:27:47,384
He's my dad. Take my car.

1632
01:27:48,472 --> 01:27:51,430
Go back to London.
There's nothing you can do.

1633
01:27:51,558 --> 01:27:53,014
I can come back.

1634
01:27:53,101 --> 01:27:55,217
I can come back, and I
can bring the blue fury

1635
01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:57,348
of the metropolitan
police service with me.

1636
01:27:57,439 --> 01:28:00,476
They'll make it disappear.
Who are they gonna believe?

1637
01:28:00,567 --> 01:28:03,274
My dad, or a loony
London police officer.

1638
01:28:03,403 --> 01:28:04,893
But it won't be
just me, will it?

1639
01:28:04,988 --> 01:28:08,230
We can do it together.
You and me. Partners.

1640
01:28:08,450 --> 01:28:12,238
Forget it, Nicholas.
It's sandford.

1641
01:29:03,463 --> 01:29:05,670
Is that everything? Sir?

1642
01:29:17,143 --> 01:29:19,759
Is there anything
I can do for you?

1643
01:29:20,480 --> 01:29:21,640
No.

1644
01:29:24,526 --> 01:29:26,812
This is something
I have to do myself.

1645
01:29:52,512 --> 01:29:56,346
Another beautiful day
in god's country.

1646
01:30:04,024 --> 01:30:05,514
Danny?

1647
01:30:14,576 --> 01:30:15,816
It's...

1648
01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:22,287
Mum!

1649
01:30:33,678 --> 01:30:35,134
What you gonna do?

1650
01:30:35,221 --> 01:30:38,304
Just walk in and arrest
the whole village?

1651
01:30:40,060 --> 01:30:41,266
Not exactly.

1652
01:31:14,260 --> 01:31:15,670
Oh, sergeant angel?

1653
01:31:15,762 --> 01:31:17,502
Someone from London
called for you.

1654
01:31:25,605 --> 01:31:27,891
I'll tell them
you'll ring them back.

1655
01:31:30,151 --> 01:31:31,186
Well, that's funny.

1656
01:31:31,277 --> 01:31:32,312
Man: What's that?

1657
01:31:32,779 --> 01:31:35,441
I didn't know we had
a mounted division.

1658
01:31:35,532 --> 01:31:37,272
Nobody tells me nothing.

1659
01:31:53,675 --> 01:31:55,461
Wanna do something useful?

1660
01:32:04,936 --> 01:32:09,851
Amanda: Annette, that sergeant
angel's back. Check out his horse.

1661
01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:12,773
Annette: Roger that!

1662
01:32:14,487 --> 01:32:15,772
It's...

1663
01:32:16,614 --> 01:32:17,820
Angel.

1664
01:33:28,812 --> 01:33:29,972
Morning.

1665
01:34:53,521 --> 01:34:55,477
That's what I'm talking about.

1666
01:35:10,413 --> 01:35:12,574
Still feel like you're
missing out?

1667
01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:40,640
Fascist!

1668
01:35:57,293 --> 01:35:58,453
Hag!

1669
01:36:16,896 --> 01:36:20,639
Stop! Stop this, please!

1670
01:36:21,317 --> 01:36:24,684
Let us stop this
mindless violence.

1671
01:36:25,989 --> 01:36:27,980
Nicholas, my son.

1672
01:36:29,075 --> 01:36:33,068
You may not be a man of god, but
surely you're a man of peace.

1673
01:36:33,162 --> 01:36:35,949
I may not be a man
of god, reverend,

1674
01:36:36,082 --> 01:36:38,915
but I know right,
and I know wrong,

1675
01:36:39,585 --> 01:36:42,167
and I have the good grace
to know which is which.

1676
01:36:42,255 --> 01:36:45,338
Oh, fuck off, grasshopper.

1677
01:36:46,926 --> 01:36:48,336
No!

1678
01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:51,335
Jesus Christ!

1679
01:36:51,848 --> 01:36:53,839
Nicholas! Nicholas!

1680
01:37:00,106 --> 01:37:01,937
I thought you was a goner.

1681
01:37:02,025 --> 01:37:03,731
Drop your weapons!

1682
01:37:04,360 --> 01:37:05,520
Dr. hatcher, no!

1683
01:37:05,611 --> 01:37:06,771
Shut up, Danny.

1684
01:37:07,739 --> 01:37:11,277
I brought you into this world,
I think it's rather fitting

1685
01:37:11,367 --> 01:37:14,200
I should be the one
to take you out of it.

1686
01:37:14,537 --> 01:37:18,371
You and your interfering
little friend.

1687
01:37:18,791 --> 01:37:19,951
Now...

1688
01:37:24,380 --> 01:37:25,620
Drop them.

1689
01:37:42,148 --> 01:37:44,184
You're a doctor, deal with it.

1690
01:37:44,275 --> 01:37:46,266
Yeah, motherfucker.

1691
01:37:46,903 --> 01:37:47,903
Danny, let's roll.

1692
01:37:47,987 --> 01:37:49,193
What you thinking?

1693
01:37:51,240 --> 01:37:52,320
Pub?

1694
01:38:52,468 --> 01:38:54,379
Roy!

1695
01:38:55,138 --> 01:38:58,130
Somebody call the police!

1696
01:38:58,224 --> 01:38:59,384
Freeze!

1697
01:39:02,311 --> 01:39:05,144
Officers, arrest that man.

1698
01:39:05,565 --> 01:39:07,647
Danny, step away
from the sergeant.

1699
01:39:07,733 --> 01:39:09,098
No, dad.

1700
01:39:09,193 --> 01:39:11,559
Danny, you'll do as you're told.

1701
01:39:11,696 --> 01:39:14,153
I'm not taking orders
from you anymore.

1702
01:39:14,240 --> 01:39:16,572
Officers, arrest these men!

1703
01:39:16,659 --> 01:39:17,774
Wait, wait!

1704
01:39:17,869 --> 01:39:19,054
You can arrest us if you like.

1705
01:39:19,078 --> 01:39:20,389
You can throw us in
prison and go back

1706
01:39:20,413 --> 01:39:21,723
to being blind,
submissive slaves.

1707
01:39:21,747 --> 01:39:23,578
Or you can be real
police officers,

1708
01:39:23,708 --> 01:39:25,915
and help us bring an end
to this absurd story.

1709
01:39:26,002 --> 01:39:28,163
What the fuck is he on about?

1710
01:39:28,254 --> 01:39:29,414
Fuck are you on about?

1711
01:39:29,547 --> 01:39:32,163
Have you ever wondered why the
crime rate in sandford is so low?

1712
01:39:32,258 --> 01:39:34,123
And yet the accident rate,
it's so high?

1713
01:39:34,218 --> 01:39:36,004
No. Yeah. What?

1714
01:39:36,095 --> 01:39:38,006
You've been brainwashed, Tony.

1715
01:39:38,097 --> 01:39:41,339
Brainwashed into naivety by an old
man with a murderous obsession.

1716
01:39:41,434 --> 01:39:42,765
This is ridiculous.

1717
01:39:42,852 --> 01:39:46,344
No, it's not, dad.
It's very unridiculous.

1718
01:39:46,439 --> 01:39:49,431
And it's only now that I'm starting to
realize how unridiculous it all is.

1719
01:39:49,567 --> 01:39:51,057
Silence, Danny!

1720
01:39:51,360 --> 01:39:52,395
Think of your mother.

1721
01:39:52,487 --> 01:39:54,273
Mum is dead, dad.

1722
01:39:55,531 --> 01:39:58,864
For the first time in my
life, you know, I'm glad.

1723
01:39:58,951 --> 01:40:01,363
If she could see
what you've become,

1724
01:40:01,454 --> 01:40:05,538
I think she'd probably
kill herself all over again.

1725
01:40:05,625 --> 01:40:07,206
Sorry, I am completely lost.

1726
01:40:07,293 --> 01:40:08,954
Sandford is a lie, Doris.

1727
01:40:09,086 --> 01:40:12,453
For the last 20 years, the village has
been controlled by frank and the nwa.

1728
01:40:12,590 --> 01:40:15,070
They've lulled everyone into
thinking this is a perfect village

1729
01:40:15,134 --> 01:40:17,921
and killed anyone who's
threatened to change that.

1730
01:40:25,561 --> 01:40:27,643
I reckon he's got
something there.

1731
01:40:29,106 --> 01:40:32,064
He says, "he reckons
you got something there."

1732
01:40:32,151 --> 01:40:33,391
I know.

1733
01:40:33,486 --> 01:40:36,728
You're not seriously gonna
believe this man, are you?

1734
01:40:36,822 --> 01:40:39,939
Are you? He isn't even
from round here.

1735
01:40:43,829 --> 01:40:48,118
Maybe it's time
to give it up, sir.

1736
01:40:49,794 --> 01:40:52,331
You incompetent flatfoots!

1737
01:41:01,514 --> 01:41:04,176
Officer Walker, stay here with
Saxon and hold everything down.

1738
01:41:04,267 --> 01:41:05,347
Fair enough.

1739
01:41:05,476 --> 01:41:07,512
Officers, let's go.

1740
01:41:08,479 --> 01:41:09,559
What about dad?

1741
01:41:09,647 --> 01:41:10,762
He'll come round again.

1742
01:41:11,148 --> 01:41:12,979
Want anything from the shop?

1743
01:41:30,710 --> 01:41:31,916
What you thinking? Well...

1744
01:41:32,044 --> 01:41:34,064
We should strike now, while we've
got the element of surprise.

1745
01:41:34,088 --> 01:41:35,983
Longer we wait, more time
they've got to mobilize.

1746
01:41:36,007 --> 01:41:37,401
I say we go in through
the front entrance,

1747
01:41:37,425 --> 01:41:38,756
take the place aisle by aisle.

1748
01:41:38,884 --> 01:41:40,715
They won't be expecting that.

1749
01:41:41,345 --> 01:41:43,051
Very good. What he said.

1750
01:41:45,224 --> 01:41:48,432
My, my. Here come the fuzz.

1751
01:41:50,730 --> 01:41:52,220
Maybe they're not here.

1752
01:41:52,315 --> 01:41:53,475
Wait here.

1753
01:41:53,566 --> 01:41:54,646
Don't go in on your own,

1754
01:41:54,734 --> 01:41:57,100
don't worry,
he knows what he's doing.

1755
01:42:00,072 --> 01:42:01,653
Okay. They're in.

1756
01:42:01,741 --> 01:42:04,858
You deal with the store. I'll
deal with the trolley boy.

1757
01:42:14,211 --> 01:42:16,202
No, listen. Wait,

1758
01:42:16,297 --> 01:42:18,663
wait, listen to me.
Listen, listen.

1759
01:42:18,883 --> 01:42:21,420
Is this what you really,
really want?

1760
01:42:21,761 --> 01:42:22,876
Yarp.

1761
01:42:23,220 --> 01:42:24,426
Suit yourself.

1762
01:42:33,105 --> 01:42:34,811
Fisher: Go, go, go.

1763
01:42:37,234 --> 01:42:39,316
Oh, come on.

1764
01:42:51,624 --> 01:42:53,489
Andy!

1765
01:42:56,253 --> 01:42:59,245
It's all right, Andy.
It's just bolognese!

1766
01:43:59,692 --> 01:44:01,603
How's lurch?
He's in the freezer.

1767
01:44:01,694 --> 01:44:02,900
Did you say, "cool off"?

1768
01:44:02,987 --> 01:44:04,172
No, I didn't say
anything, actually.

1769
01:44:04,196 --> 01:44:05,902
Shame.

1770
01:44:06,031 --> 01:44:07,509
There was a bit earlier on
that you missed

1771
01:44:07,533 --> 01:44:09,177
when I distracted him
with the cuddly monkey.

1772
01:44:09,201 --> 01:44:10,566
And then I said,
"playtime's over,"

1773
01:44:10,661 --> 01:44:11,981
and I hit him
with the peace Lily.

1774
01:44:12,037 --> 01:44:14,119
You're off the fucking chain!

1775
01:44:14,206 --> 01:44:15,286
What's the situation?

1776
01:44:15,374 --> 01:44:17,740
Two blokes and
a fuckload of cutlery.

1777
01:44:17,835 --> 01:44:19,200
What do you reckon?

1778
01:44:22,548 --> 01:44:23,754
Idea.

1779
01:44:47,448 --> 01:44:48,938
Good work, everyone.

1780
01:44:58,667 --> 01:44:59,667
Nice one, Doris.

1781
01:44:59,752 --> 01:45:01,663
Nothing like
a bit of girl on girl.

1782
01:45:04,340 --> 01:45:06,422
Fruit attack!

1783
01:45:07,259 --> 01:45:08,695
Can you handle this,
sergeant Fisher?

1784
01:45:08,719 --> 01:45:10,050
We're gonna go after
the big boss.

1785
01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:12,093
We're on it, sergeant.

1786
01:45:12,515 --> 01:45:14,346
Danny, let's rock. Angel!

1787
01:45:14,433 --> 01:45:16,173
Don't go being a twat now.

1788
01:45:16,477 --> 01:45:18,763
I wouldn't give you
the satisfaction.

1789
01:45:25,945 --> 01:45:27,481
We should get down there.

1790
01:45:27,571 --> 01:45:28,811
How?

1791
01:45:35,996 --> 01:45:37,452
Head them off?

1792
01:45:50,302 --> 01:45:51,382
I'll drive.

1793
01:45:51,470 --> 01:45:54,007
Shotgun! Punch that shit!

1794
01:46:37,850 --> 01:46:39,340
Bang! Bang!

1795
01:46:45,357 --> 01:46:46,517
Swan!

1796
01:47:06,045 --> 01:47:07,160
Swan!

1797
01:47:34,740 --> 01:47:38,904
Stay back!
Or the ginger nut gets it!

1798
01:47:40,829 --> 01:47:43,411
You little fucker!

1799
01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:23,490
Get out of my village!

1800
01:48:29,461 --> 01:48:31,952
It's not your village anymore.

1801
01:48:48,814 --> 01:48:50,645
You did good, kid. Ta.

1802
01:48:50,733 --> 01:48:52,940
What's your name?
Aaron a. Aaronson.

1803
01:48:53,360 --> 01:48:54,850
Sorry?

1804
01:48:56,822 --> 01:49:03,443
Angel!

1805
01:49:21,346 --> 01:49:22,677
It's over, Danny.

1806
01:49:24,099 --> 01:49:25,259
It's over.

1807
01:49:29,063 --> 01:49:34,353
This really hurts.

1808
01:49:34,443 --> 01:49:39,858
I'm going to need
some ice-cream.

1809
01:49:39,948 --> 01:49:41,358
Yeah, well, don't worry.

1810
01:49:41,450 --> 01:49:43,130
There's plenty of ice-cream
at the station.

1811
01:49:43,202 --> 01:49:44,362
Isn't that right, Danny?

1812
01:49:45,621 --> 01:49:46,736
Stay back!

1813
01:49:46,830 --> 01:49:48,661
Pack it in, frank,
you silly bastard!

1814
01:49:48,749 --> 01:49:50,285
Now, now.

1815
01:49:50,626 --> 01:49:52,366
We don't want
any more bloodshed.

1816
01:49:52,461 --> 01:49:55,203
Frank, this whole thing started
because you lost somebody you loved.

1817
01:49:55,297 --> 01:49:57,275
Don't expect me to believe
you'd let it end the same way.

1818
01:49:57,299 --> 01:49:59,836
I'll tell you how
this is gonna end!

1819
01:50:42,427 --> 01:50:44,588
I feel like I should
say something smart.

1820
01:50:44,680 --> 01:50:47,467
You don't have to
say anything at all.

1821
01:50:59,361 --> 01:51:02,774
Satisfactory conclusion
to the whole operation.

1822
01:51:02,865 --> 01:51:06,824
Now, my perfect Sunday
would begin with...

1823
01:51:12,166 --> 01:51:13,685
Chief inspector:
What do you say, Nicholas?

1824
01:51:13,709 --> 01:51:15,916
We... we... we have been
trying to reach you for days.

1825
01:51:16,003 --> 01:51:17,539
Yeah, well,
I've been kind of busy.

1826
01:51:17,629 --> 01:51:19,165
Sergeant: We need you back.

1827
01:51:19,256 --> 01:51:21,713
The figures have gone a little
squiffy in your absence,

1828
01:51:21,800 --> 01:51:23,085
it has to be said.

1829
01:51:23,177 --> 01:51:24,292
Come back to London.

1830
01:51:24,386 --> 01:51:25,842
Sandford"s hardly
a fitting place

1831
01:51:25,929 --> 01:51:27,635
for such an exceptional officer.

1832
01:51:27,723 --> 01:51:30,430
Yeah, well, the thing is, sir.

1833
01:51:31,351 --> 01:51:33,137
I kind of like it here.

1834
01:51:33,228 --> 01:51:36,595
Besides, we have to do a
considerable amount of paperwork.

1835
01:52:02,841 --> 01:52:04,752
Fuck's sake, Nick,
this is gonna take ages.

1836
01:52:04,843 --> 01:52:06,629
Yeah, it's gonna take all night.

1837
01:52:06,720 --> 01:52:09,336
Fisher: Well, good job we've
got the manpower, Andy?

1838
01:52:09,431 --> 01:52:11,513
Well, official vocab
guidelines state

1839
01:52:11,600 --> 01:52:13,682
that we say “staffing,”
not "man power, "w

1840
01:52:13,769 --> 01:52:16,431
'cause "man power's”
a bit sexist.

1841
01:52:18,815 --> 01:52:20,655
You don't mind a bit of
manpower do you, Doris?

1842
01:52:20,734 --> 01:52:23,066
Oh, dirty bastard!

1843
01:52:24,821 --> 01:52:25,981
Andy!

1844
01:52:26,073 --> 01:52:28,109
You cheeky fucker!

1845
01:52:36,875 --> 01:52:38,786
You know what you are?

1846
01:52:39,628 --> 01:52:41,289
A bloody busybody!

1847
01:52:47,094 --> 01:52:49,380
No!

1848
01:53:03,860 --> 01:53:05,066
Oh, god, no!

1849
01:53:28,343 --> 01:53:29,583
Angel: Danny!

1850
01:53:32,097 --> 01:53:33,212
Danny!

1851
01:53:34,266 --> 01:53:35,426
Oh, god.

1852
01:53:35,559 --> 01:53:37,174
Hold on, Danny, just hold on.

1853
01:53:37,269 --> 01:53:40,011
Hold on, it's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be fine.

1854
01:53:40,605 --> 01:53:43,392
Just hang on, hang on!

1855
01:53:43,859 --> 01:53:45,690
Everything's gonna be fine.

1856
01:53:46,945 --> 01:53:48,731
Everything's gonna be fine.

1857
01:53:49,197 --> 01:53:51,028
Everything's gonna be fine.

1858
01:53:51,783 --> 01:53:53,774
Everything's gonna be just fine.

1859
01:54:32,491 --> 01:54:33,571
Hope these are okay.

1860
01:54:36,661 --> 01:54:40,074
Yeah. They're lovely.

1861
01:54:49,633 --> 01:54:51,248
Doris: Any officers
near the church?

1862
01:54:51,343 --> 01:54:52,753
Go ahead, Doris.

1863
01:54:52,844 --> 01:54:54,604
Chief, we've had a report
of some hippy types

1864
01:54:54,679 --> 01:54:57,091
messing with the recycling
bins at the supermarket.

1865
01:54:57,182 --> 01:54:58,922
Leave it with us. Righto.

1866
01:54:59,017 --> 01:55:03,135
Sergeant Butterman, little hand
says it's time to rock and roll.

1867
01:55:03,355 --> 01:55:04,936
Bring the noise.


