1
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:29,862
Mysteries in History,
with your host, Peter Graves.

2
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,950
Although no one has ever been able
to prove their existence...

3
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:37,286
...a quasi-government agency,
the Men in Black...

4
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,790
...supposedly carries out operations
here on Earth...

5
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:45,044
...in order to keep us safe from aliens
throughout the galaxies.

6
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,715
Here is one of their stories
that "never happened"...

7
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:53,094
...from one of their files
that doesn't exist.

8
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,806
1978. The leaders of Zartha
flee their planet...

9
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:03,271
...in order to escape the clutches
of the evil Kylothian, Serleena.

10
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:07,650
Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring
with them their greatest treasure:

11
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The Light of Zartha,
a cosmic force so powerful...

12
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:16,784
...that in the wrong hands it could
lead to the annihilation of Zartha.

13
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:20,663
The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna,
beseeched the Men in Black...

14
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,207
...to hide the Light from Serleena.

15
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,668
But they had no choice.

16
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Intervention would have meant
the destruction of the Earth.

17
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:35,845
However, in an act of galactic bravery,
the Men in Black subdued Serleena...

18
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,222
...allowing the Zarthans to escape...

19
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...so they might hide the Light
on another planet.

20
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Serleena, released from her captors,
vowed that the Light would be hers...

21
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:52,945
...and that she would destroy
any planet that stood in her way.

22
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,908
And so,
never knowing what happened...

23
00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:02,288
...the people of Earth were saved
by a secret society of protectors...

24
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,541
...known as the Men in Black.

25
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Harvey!

26
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,187
Harvey, get over here!

27
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,857
Harvey. Heel, heel!

28
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,276
You're barking at the moon, moron.

29
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,194
Harvey. Harvey!

30
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,571
Harvey!

31
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,317
Hey, pretty lady.

32
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,945
You taste good.

33
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,409
Hey, what the...?

34
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,916
Yeah, you too.

35
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,426
Nothing fancy, no heroics.
By the book.

36
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,053
Got it. Hey!

37
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,515
Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy?

38
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,685
- We were wondering why you're here.
- The man's talking to you.

39
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:21,107
You know our arrangements.
Stay in the E, F and R subway lines...

40
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,692
...and you get all the garbage
you want.

41
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,612
What the hell are you doing here,
worm boy?

42
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,822
Tee.

43
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,740
Jeff...

44
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,118
Excuse my partner.
He's new and he's...

45
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,707
...kind of stupid.

46
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,926
You getting big, Jeff.
Boy, what you been eating?

47
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,890
You like jokes, huh?

48
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,061
Jeffrey!

49
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,403
All right.

50
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,698
Sweet dreams, big boy.

51
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,276
Sweet dreams...

52
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,490
...big boy.

53
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,452
Transit authority.
Move to the forward car.

54
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,205
We got a bug in the electrical system.

55
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:06,295
People! We got a bug
in the electrical system!

56
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,842
Now y'all running?

57
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,719
No, no, no! Sit down!

58
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,846
It's only a 600-foot worm.

59
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:23,187
- Everybody out before I knock heads.
- Put the hammer down on this thing.

60
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:26,815
I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater.
I decide what happens.

61
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,652
You decide?
Okay, come here. Come here.

62
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,862
Larry? That's my man, Jeff.

63
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,370
- Larry just made a decision.
- Larry need to take his ass in there.

64
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,338
Don't make me do this, Jeff!

65
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,032
Eighty-first Street.

66
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,204
Just a second.

67
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,375
May I have your attention, please?

68
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:29,795
We thank you
for participating in our drill.

69
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,048
Had this been an emergency,
you'd have been eaten.

70
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,759
Because you don't listen.
You're ignorant.

71
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:40,097
How a man gonna bash through...?
That's the problem with New Yorkers.

72
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"We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm!
Save us, Mr. Black Man!"

73
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:48,272
I ask you nice, "Move to the next car."
You just sit there like...

74
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Thank you for participating.

75
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:55,946
Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller,
energy-efficient subway cars.

76
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,533
Watch your step.
You will have a nice evening.

77
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:06,707
I need a cleanup crew
at 81 st and Central Park West.

78
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,376
Revoke Jeff's movement privileges.

79
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:12,379
Have him escorted
to the Chambers Street station.

80
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:17,509
And please check the expiration date
on the unipod worm tranquilizers.

81
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,682
Sorry, fellas. Station closed.

82
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:28,228
- Emergency drill. For your safety.
- Do you believe these putzes?

83
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,315
You're welcome.

84
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,247
I know, by the book.

85
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Tee, when was the last time
we just looked at the stars?

86
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,047
This is a test. I can do this.

87
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,052
Ever feel like you're alone
in the universe?

88
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Yes.

89
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,349
No.

90
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,646
- Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie.
- Really?

91
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,648
Thanks.

92
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,151
Hey, you're not alone
in the universe.

93
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,529
- Remove the arm.
- Okay.

94
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,826
Please, shut up, Charlie.

95
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,413
I'm tired of you constantly talking
behind my back.

96
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:33,043
You meet a girl. She's into it.
The best line you come up with is:

97
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"Wanna come back to my place for
some tonsil hockey and egg salad?"

98
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:41,176
- Who are you and how'd you get in?
- You like egg salad?

99
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,848
Serleena!

100
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,268
Why didn't you say it was you?

101
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,646
- Where's the Light?
- Here's the deal.

102
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You're looking for this Light.
We found it.

103
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:59,653
You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill.
Here's how it'll work. First...

104
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,739
Where is the Light?

105
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:12,040
We couldn't find it, but we found
a guy who might know where it is.

106
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He runs a pizza parlor
on Spring Street.

107
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Let's go. And wipe your nose, idiot.

108
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- Good pie.
- Yeah.

109
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Crowded.

110
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Well, they got good pie.

111
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What is wrong with you?

112
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- You're gonna neuralyze me.
- No, I'm not.

113
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,408
You took me here
so I wouldn't make a scene.

114
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,410
You making a scene.

115
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,414
Let me ask you a question.
Why did you join MiB?

116
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:56,126
Six years in the Marines.
I like the action. Protect the planet.

117
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,588
You like being a hero?
You joined the wrong organization.

118
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,759
- You ever heard of James Edwards?
- No.

119
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:07,930
Well, he saved the lives of 85 people
on the subway tonight.

120
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,140
No one knows he exists.

121
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:15,562
And if no one knows he exists,
how can anyone ever love him?

122
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,568
Hey, how long we been partners?

123
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,696
- Feb 1.
- Five months, three days.

124
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- Started at noon.
- Nine hours.

125
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,084
Get married. Have a bunch of kids.

126
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,253
Okay.

127
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:47,511
Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy,
but he thinks you are hot.

128
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:53,850
Here it is.

129
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,937
Ben, I don't know what to say.

130
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Years from now,
you know what people'll say?

131
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- "Employee" is spelled wrong?
- They charge by the letter.

132
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They'll say, "Imagine that. Big shot
like her used to work here."

133
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,408
- Ben...
- You deserve it.

134
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,703
Bring up a case of Mountain Dew
from the basement.

135
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,291
Hey, Bruno.

136
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:22,838
Two slices of pepperoni and
information about the Light of Zartha.

137
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,341
- Whoever you are, don't hurt me.
- Where's the Light, Ben?

138
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:29,970
I don't know what you're talking about.
Let me down, ma'am.

139
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,222
I want to report a robbery...

140
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,315
There.

141
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,150
Noise.

142
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,111
Kitchen!

143
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,200
You idiots see anything?

144
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,412
Wind blew the door open.

145
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,040
Nothing out of the ordinary.

146
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,543
For 25 years, I've traveled
the universe looking for it.

147
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,671
But it never left Earth, did it?
You kept it here.

148
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,548
What are you talking about?

149
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,259
I'm running out of time.
Where's the Light?

150
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,220
- I don't know what you mean.
- Listen, Zarthan.

151
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,973
You hid the Light on Earth.
I'll find it.

152
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,685
Once we have the Light,
Zartha will be ours.

153
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,396
You're too late.
Tomorrow at midnight...

154
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:25,108
...the Light will leave
the third planet and be back home.

155
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:28,570
Sorry you made the trip for nothing.

156
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,415
Now we don't know
if it's on Earth or not.

157
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,959
He said third planet.
It's here, you idiot.

158
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:46,838
- Third Rock from the Sun.
- I never got that till now.

159
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,218
It's on Earth, and I know
who's gonna tell me where it is.

160
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,704
- Don't you ever go home?
- Nope.

161
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,665
I see you neuralyzed another partner.

162
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,924
Bee, Dee, when you use
a fission carbonizer...

163
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,803
...attach a de-atomizer
so it doesn't sound like a cannon.

164
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:39,307
Hey, get some booties on them things.
You're crapping up the floor.

165
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,104
Check his visa.

166
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:48,442
The Cephalopods have been making
counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal.

167
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:53,864
Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph
going through passport control?

168
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:58,201
That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry.
Please don't neuralyze me, sir.

169
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:01,913
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Nothing, sir.

170
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,002
Good work in the subway.

171
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,004
I remember Jeff
when he was yea high.

172
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,047
What you got for me?

173
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,508
Look. See those guys in black suits?

174
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,762
- They work here. We got it covered.
- Zed, what you got?

175
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:21,183
Dedication's one thing, but this job
will eat you up and spit you out.

176
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,311
You want to look like me
when you hit 50...

177
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,646
...ish?

178
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,733
I'll be in the gym if you need me.

179
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,737
All right, there was a killing earlier.
177 Spring.

180
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,197
Alien-on-alien.

181
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,908
Take Tee with you
and make a report.

182
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,911
Tee. Right.

183
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,497
What happened,
what happened with Tee...

184
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,666
Passports. No rush.
How they hanging, Jay?

185
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,878
You have got to stop neuralyzing
MiB personnel.

186
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,255
He was crying
in the middle of the diner.

187
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,965
I hate that.

188
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,760
And plus, you can't count Elle.

189
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,888
She wanted to go back to the morgue.
I helped her.

190
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,933
- You need a partner.
- I'm cool.

191
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,227
I'll be his partner.

192
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,105
Jay, wait up.
I appreciate the shot, man.

193
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,483
- Thought I'd never get out.
- Lose the suit.

194
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,860
Sure thing.
Just going for the look.

195
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,738
But if I say so myself,
I find it slimming.

196
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,533
Not that I've had problems
with the ladies.

197
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,284
When you get down to...

198
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,203
Nice sled, very swank.

199
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,497
Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives.

200
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,270
Frank!

201
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,774
Bring your head in this window
before I roll it up in there.

202
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,317
Got it.

203
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,783
Frank!

204
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:04,995
My money? It's missionary.

205
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:08,248
I was in the Bowery,
and I meet this Great Dane.

206
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,667
A little thick in the body,
but pretty.

207
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,962
That's just not appealing to me, man.
Seriously.

208
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,423
I say we do the good cop,
bad cop thing.

209
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,134
You interrogate the witness
and I growl.

210
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:23,555
How about we do the good cop,
dumb dog thing, and you just shut up?

211
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,099
You got it, partner.
Total silence.

212
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,603
Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me.

213
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:31,938
What do we got?

214
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:33,815
Zip.

215
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,527
- What do we got?
- There's residue on the wall.

216
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:42,616
- We sent samples to Em for analysis.
- Hey, Jay, zero percent body fat.

217
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,037
- Funny.
- Witness?

218
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,539
Girl. Saw everything.

219
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,292
She's taking it well.

220
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,630
I won't answer any more questions.
I want to know what happened here.

221
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,090
- I'll handle this one.
- You got it.

222
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,636
Alone. A talking dog might be
a bit much for her now.

223
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,846
What do you want me to do?

224
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,223
Sniff around.

225
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,351
What?

226
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,977
Funny.

227
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,605
Take a deep breath.
Everything is all right.

228
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,900
What part is she supposed
to feel all right about?

229
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,696
I'm Agent Jay.

230
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,365
Tell me what you saw.

231
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,034
- A two-headed guy and a woman.
- Caucasian?

232
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,204
Gray, with tentacles
that she used to rip...

233
00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:30,455
His skin off.

234
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:35,919
It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer
similar to the gum in baseball cards.

235
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,672
- What was the last thing you ate?
- Calzone.

236
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:39,965
- What time?
- Lunch.

237
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,509
- Spinach?
- Mushroom.

238
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,928
You need pie.

239
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,098
They kept asking Ben about a light.

240
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,475
Light of Zartha, something like that.

241
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,519
You okay?

242
00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:55,981
An hour ago, a man I've known
my whole life vanished...

243
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,733
...because of a woman with things
coming out her fingers...

244
00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:01,611
...and a two-headed guy
with the IQ of a cannoli.

245
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,447
So yeah, everything's okay.

246
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,744
When we're kids,
before we're taught how to think...

247
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:13,248
...our hearts tell us there is
something else out there.

248
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:18,336
I know what I saw.
Tell me what I'm supposed to believe.

249
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:29,097
I'm a member of a secret organization
that monitors alien activity on Earth.

250
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,474
Ben was an alien.
So were his killers.

251
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:35,645
I don't know why they did it,
but I promise I'm gonna find out.

252
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,898
Okay.

253
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,818
- Okay?
- Okay.

254
00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:44,654
Okay.

255
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,746
- I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to...
- Kill me.

256
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,456
No!

257
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:58,543
Just a little flash and everything
goes back the way it was.

258
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:02,297
After you flash me...

259
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:04,924
...if I see you again,
will I know it's you?

260
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,135
I'll see you.

261
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:11,514
But you won't see me.

262
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,767
Must be hard.

263
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,810
Must be very lonely.

264
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:32,619
Excuse me.

265
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,956
- I gotta go.
- What about the flashy thing?

266
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,752
I'll flash you some other time.

267
00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,188
What?

268
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:10,198
- Did you tell the girl you love her?
- She's a witness to a crime. That's it.

269
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:14,494
You're attracted. She's not
my species, and I'm attracted.

270
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:18,623
I should take advice on love
from a dude that chases his own ass?

271
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:22,836
Easy, pal. That's canine profiling,
and I resent it.

272
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,895
Hey, Jay, wait up.

273
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,065
Coming through. MiB brass.
Look sharp.

274
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:48,194
I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner.
Who are you eyeballing?

275
00:24:48,362 --> 00:24:50,613
Frank, just cool out, dog.

276
00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:53,950
- Got kids?
- No.

277
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,577
Want them?

278
00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,748
Get him off me!

279
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,759
- Talk to me.
- It's Kylothian, class C.

280
00:25:11,927 --> 00:25:12,969
Serleena.

281
00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,471
- Serleena. Old girlfriend?
- She wishes.

282
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:18,349
The perps were looking
for the Light of...

283
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,185
- Zartha.
- Yeah, what is it?

284
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,812
This makes no sense.
It's not on Earth.

285
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:26,274
- We took care of this a long time ago.
- Obviously not.

286
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,443
That is very bad news.

287
00:25:28,611 --> 00:25:32,322
The Zarthans came to Earth
to hide the Light from Serleena.

288
00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:35,992
- We don't do that.
- Right. I ordered it off the planet.

289
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,785
Well, Zed...

290
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:42,415
I got a Kylothian class C in my park.
Are you sure this Light isn't here?

291
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:46,169
Positive. I gave the order.
My best agent carried it out.

292
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,922
- It's as if I gave the order to you.
- Ask the agent.

293
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,173
- Can't.
- Dead?

294
00:25:50,341 --> 00:25:53,509
Sort of. He works at the post office.

295
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:55,803
No.

296
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,640
If Serleena gets to Kay before we do,
he's dead.

297
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:01,851
The Earth's very existence
may rest on what Kay knows.

298
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,479
Too bad you wiped out
his memory of it.

299
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:06,147
Bring him in.

300
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:07,523
Now.

301
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:11,778
How cool is this? Going to get Kay.
The legend, the go-to guy.

302
00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:14,489
Your mentor, the guy who taught you
everything you know.

303
00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:19,285
- The greatest agent in MiB history!
- Frank! Stop talking.

304
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,374
Stay.

305
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:27,168
Listen, partner.
I may look like a dog...

306
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:29,796
...but I only play one here on Earth.

307
00:26:30,172 --> 00:26:32,632
- Whatever. Wipe your mouth.
- Hey, babe.

308
00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:42,308
People of Truro,
may I kindly have your attention?

309
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:44,894
To facilitate your shipping needs...

310
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,730
...all packages must be
properly wrapped.

311
00:26:47,898 --> 00:26:51,776
This one is an example of
"go home and do it again."

312
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:54,737
I think you know what I mean,
Mrs. Vigushin.

313
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:59,784
Brown paper and triple-twist twine
are the preferred media.

314
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,703
Thank you for your time.

315
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,790
- Kay.
- C. Express mail, two-day air.

316
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:08,876
Kevin.

317
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:13,756
Kevin. That's funny.
You don't have a "Kevin"...

318
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,720
You don't remember.
We worked together.

319
00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:23,016
I never worked in a funeral home.
Something I can do for you, slick?

320
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:24,809
Straight to the point.

321
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:29,772
You were an agent of an organization
that monitors aliens on Earth.

322
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:34,027
We're the Men in Black. We have
a situation. We need your help.

323
00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:37,905
There is a free mental health clinic
on the corner of Lilac and East Valley.

324
00:27:38,073 --> 00:27:40,074
- Next.
- Excuse me.

325
00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,618
- Twenty Rugrats stamps.
- Elizabeth.

326
00:27:42,786 --> 00:27:47,081
The Postal Service hasn't kept up
with today's youth, but we have...

327
00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:49,917
...Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends?
- No. No.

328
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:53,087
- American Samoa? Amish quilts.
- No.

329
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:55,965
I'm sorry, got a world to save here.

330
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,385
There was no coma.
It was a cover.

331
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:01,346
- Who are you?
- Who are you?

332
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:05,808
Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts,
and I'm ordering you to leave.

333
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,188
- Is that decaf?
- Sorry.

334
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,732
We have a breach.
Cordon off this area.

335
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:15,902
Full perimeter wipe-down,
right here, right now.

336
00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:20,448
Get a mop and escort all civilian
personnel from this site immediately.

337
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,785
Listen to yourself, Kay.
Who talks like that?

338
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,677
Why do you think you're
so comfortable here?

339
00:29:24,221 --> 00:29:28,057
Just about everybody who works
in a post office is an alien.

340
00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:37,775
No smoking.

341
00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:47,827
Kay.

342
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,747
My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy
fly a tiger around a room.

343
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:53,416
You're nothing special.

344
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:56,502
When you look at the stars,
you get a feeling...

345
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:58,671
...like you don't know who you are.

346
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:02,467
Like you know more about out there
than you do down here.

347
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:07,221
That's why she left you, Kay.
That's why your wife left you.

348
00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:11,058
Okay, I'll tell you what.

349
00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:15,146
You want to know who you really are,
take a ride with me.

350
00:30:15,314 --> 00:30:19,192
If not, people are waiting
for their TV Guides.

351
00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:23,863
Think he'll bite?

352
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:33,498
I'm just going for a ride. If things
don't add up, it's hasta luego.

353
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,249
Hey, Kay.

354
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,836
How's it hanging?

355
00:30:53,143 --> 00:30:54,977
Good to see you, Kay.

356
00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:58,231
Good to see you too,
whoever you are.

357
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:03,778
Well, let's see
what you got here, chief.

358
00:31:14,248 --> 00:31:16,541
Welcome back, Agent Kay.

359
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,085
Agent Kay.

360
00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:21,796
Greetings, Kay.

361
00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:25,299
Wow, look who's back.

362
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:28,010
I don't mean to bother you...
You're Agent Kay!

363
00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:31,347
- That's what they tell me.
- This is an honor. Agent Gee.

364
00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:33,975
The most respected agent
in MiB history.

365
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:36,644
The most feared human
in the universe.

366
00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:39,814
Maybe I could
buy you a cup of coffee?

367
00:31:39,982 --> 00:31:42,650
- Black, two sugars, if you're going.
- An honor.

368
00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:46,153
- Yeah, I'll take a... My man?
- Good to see you, Kay.

369
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,240
How'd it go?

370
00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:51,867
The Drolacks are gone
and the treaty is signed.

371
00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:53,077
Good work.

372
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:56,539
What about that position you
promised me in Men in Black?

373
00:31:56,707 --> 00:32:00,167
Still working on the alien
affirmative action program.

374
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:02,587
That's not what you promised me.

375
00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,839
- You're breaking up.
- Zed? Hello?

376
00:32:05,007 --> 00:32:08,634
- I'll call you back.
- I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...

377
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:14,140
I think Earth might be in a bad way.
You're the only one that could save it.

378
00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:17,393
- Well, neither rain, sleet, snow...
- Good man.

379
00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:21,480
Get him armed and up to speed
and over to deneuralyzation.

380
00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:23,774
- Frank?
- Yeah?

381
00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:26,902
I'm gonna need them together
on this one.

382
00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:31,032
I need an assistant. It's not
field work, but you get dental.

383
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:32,700
Dental?

384
00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:39,665
The most advanced technologies from
all over the universe are in this room.

385
00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:41,000
What's this?

386
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:45,296
All is lost! All is lost!

387
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:47,923
Don't touch that!

388
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:50,760
I didn't do anything.

389
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:54,096
Hands in your pockets.

390
00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:05,691
Your favorite weapon.

391
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,738
- That?
- Yep.

392
00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,324
- Let's go put it on.
- What?

393
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,826
The last suit you'll ever wear.

394
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,578
Again.

395
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,003
The deneuralyzer.

396
00:33:27,589 --> 00:33:30,633
Magneto-energy will surge
through your brain...

397
00:33:30,801 --> 00:33:35,429
...unlocking information that could
hold the key to Earth's very survival.

398
00:33:35,597 --> 00:33:38,265
Okay. What's that thing?

399
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,644
The deneuralyzer.

400
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:53,114
Welcome to planet Earth.
There are some rules and regulations.

401
00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:54,699
Go out only at night.

402
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:59,120
If you must go out during the daylight,
only the East Village.

403
00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,084
Hey, hey, hey!

404
00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:12,216
Name and planet of origin?

405
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:16,137
Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn.
Kaluth system.

406
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:21,142
- Any fruits or vegetables?
- Yeah, two heads of cabbage.

407
00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:22,351
Reason for visit?

408
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:26,021
Education. I want to learn
how to be an underwear model.

409
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:28,941
They told me I've got real potential.

410
00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,279
Help! Heart attack!

411
00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:35,948
Clear!

412
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,201
Wake up, champ!

413
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:47,918
- Oh, jeez.
- Lockdown. Code 101.

414
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:50,796
Lockdown.

415
00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,341
This is not good. This is not good.

416
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,018
- Breach! We're being flushed.
- Flushed?

417
00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:07,688
- Ever been to a water park?
- I don't know.

418
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:42,890
Flushed.

419
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:48,479
Yeah, man, back when you was
an agent, you loved getting flushed.

420
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:53,234
Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd
be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me."

421
00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:55,152
I'd be like, "No."

422
00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:58,280
You can't quit on me.

423
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:01,367
I save the world, you tell me
why I stare at the stars.

424
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:03,077
Cool.

425
00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:07,122
- Hop in.
- Hop in what?

426
00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:14,755
Does that come standard?

427
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:19,093
It came with a black dude,
but he kept getting pulled over.

428
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:26,475
Silly little planet. I could rule the place
with the right set of mammary glands.

429
00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,435
Trapped like rats...

430
00:36:29,145 --> 00:36:30,229
...in a Chia Pet.

431
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,982
Computer, surveillance MiB.

432
00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:39,613
MiB is locked down.

433
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:45,286
Computer, magnify. Times 10.

434
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:48,330
Communicator. Frank.

435
00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:50,958
- Jay, where are you?
- We got flushed.

436
00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,294
- MiB is code 101.
- Yeah, who did it?

437
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,422
Some hot-looking biker chick.
Want me to tail her?

438
00:36:56,590 --> 00:37:01,468
- Stay where you are. I'll be in touch.
- Stay where I am. Easy for you to say.

439
00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,012
- Find Kay?
- Neuralyzed.

440
00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:05,806
- Not active. Civilian.
- What?

441
00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:07,016
- He was...
- Here.

442
00:37:07,183 --> 00:37:08,517
- To get...
- Deneuralyzed.

443
00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:13,230
- Memory's shot. But we'll find him.
- Don't put anything in our ears.

444
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,190
What?

445
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:18,819
What do you make of that?
Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh?

446
00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:21,739
- Yeah, you're smiling.
- Is that the only deneuralyzer?

447
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:24,825
Officially. The plans leaked out
on the Internet.

448
00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:26,994
Computer, Internet.

449
00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,996
Deneuralyzer.

450
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:35,044
Perfect. It's an old friend.

451
00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,845
Jay, ain't seen you in a while.

452
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,765
Did you peep that drop-top thing
out front?

453
00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:50,059
My business is banging, dog.

454
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,938
You gotta check out the website.
It's Jeebsie dot...

455
00:37:54,189 --> 00:37:56,190
Okay, whoa. He's retired, right?

456
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,400
We need the deneuralyzer.

457
00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:01,904
- You're kidding.
- The meter's running, Jeebs.

458
00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:06,533
Do you remember me?

459
00:38:07,077 --> 00:38:09,203
Can't say I do.
I'm good with faces.

460
00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:11,497
I think I'd remember that.

461
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:14,750
The great Kay's a neutral.

462
00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:19,213
You're between me and my memories.
Do you have this deneuralyzer or not?

463
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:20,714
No.

464
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,384
Fresh out.

465
00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:26,261
Can't help you.

466
00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:29,890
Don't got it.

467
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:42,444
Even if I did, if it doesn't work,
he dies, you blow my head off.

468
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:46,657
If it does, I've brought back Kay,
who, for fun, blows my head off.

469
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:48,742
So, what's my incentive?

470
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:53,247
Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs
next to the snow blowers.

471
00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,962
Alien prisoners released,
armed and ready for your orders.

472
00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:03,590
Prisoners of MiB,
the scum of the universe.

473
00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:05,592
Now it's the scum's turn.

474
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,220
I'm in a jam,
so I'll make this simple.

475
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:12,099
I need the Light of Zartha,
and Kay knows where it is.

476
00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:14,601
Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth.

477
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:18,063
Find a deneuralyzer.
They want his memory back.

478
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,065
Check.

479
00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,276
Now.

480
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:27,614
Jarra, good to see you.

481
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:33,495
Okay, that should do it.

482
00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:38,042
If I could have your attention while
we go over the safety procedures.

483
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,753
Keep your hands inside the vehicle.

484
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,006
If, during the ride,
you become disoriented...

485
00:39:44,174 --> 00:39:46,842
...there's nothing we can do about it.

486
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,763
Have you removed all your jewelry?

487
00:39:52,348 --> 00:39:54,767
- Are you allergic to shellfish?
- Jeebs!

488
00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:57,728
Right, then!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

489
00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:05,694
Have you used this before?

490
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:09,656
I used it to make some
hot-air popcorn. That's about it.

491
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:12,785
Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n!

492
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,383
Perfect.

493
00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,149
- You're back.
- No.

494
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:26,692
How'd you know
his head grows back?

495
00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,527
It grows back?

496
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:34,908
Real nice. Okay, that's the last time
I help out a friend.

497
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:39,913
- Kay, you remember anything?
- Goodbye.

498
00:41:40,081 --> 00:41:41,623
- Kay!
- Kay, wait!

499
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:46,003
I never got the updated software.
Still working off the 6.0.

500
00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:48,088
Your brain needs to reboot.

501
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:50,674
Give it a minute.

502
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,259
Kay!

503
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:57,764
Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.
I hope it won't affect our friendship.

504
00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:02,477
All those years of loyalty and trust,
respect for one another.

505
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,231
Right over there!

506
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:10,235
- Where's Kay?
- He's not here! He went...

507
00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:13,780
Kay's retired. I'm his
trigger-happy replacement.

508
00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:17,492
Right in the pie hole.
Now nothing's gonna taste right.

509
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:20,120
- Lower your weapon.
- No.

510
00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,170
Jay, how are you, boo-boo?

511
00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:31,006
- These guys really need Kay.
- He's a neutral.

512
00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,843
- Tell me something we don't know.
- Yeah, tell me something...

513
00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:36,637
I am so sorry.

514
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,805
- God bless you.
- Thank you.

515
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:44,102
If I don't bring Kay back to MiB,
Serleena's gonna kick my ass.

516
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,313
- Now, where is he?
- Where is who?

517
00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:49,066
You don't look too good.

518
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:51,652
Yeah, and you look like crap.

519
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:57,324
I take that back. He look like crap.

520
00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:01,828
- Bend him!
- Bend him.

521
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:03,872
Wait, don't bend him.

522
00:43:25,812 --> 00:43:28,105
Hey, honey, how you doing?

523
00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:43,453
Damn decent of you.

524
00:43:44,038 --> 00:43:45,330
Don't mention it.

525
00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:08,979
- I'm gonna be sick.
- You don't wanna do that.

526
00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:13,191
- Fellas, I think he's telling the truth.
- Then he's no good to us.

527
00:44:15,528 --> 00:44:18,530
- Didn't I teach you anything, kid?
- Pineal eye!

528
00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:22,784
Go for the mosh tendrils!

529
00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:28,832
Kay, he's a ball-chinnian.

530
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,797
- You were in a tight spot.
- I handled it.

531
00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:38,759
- You need a partner.
- I had one. Job got too tough.

532
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:41,261
I'm back. You got some dust
on your coat.

533
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:43,305
- So you got your memory back.
- Yeah.

534
00:44:43,473 --> 00:44:45,932
- What the hell is going on?
- Don't know.

535
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:48,602
- The Light of Zartha?
- Never heard of it.

536
00:44:48,770 --> 00:44:49,770
Cool.

537
00:44:53,107 --> 00:44:55,442
You don't remember
the Light of Zartha?

538
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:58,320
Must've neuralyzed myself
to keep it from myself.

539
00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:01,782
- Good plan. What you doing?
- I do the driving.

540
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:03,950
- Wait, no. Whoa.
- I remember that.

541
00:45:04,118 --> 00:45:08,038
What you remember is you used
to drive that old, busted jawn.

542
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:11,291
I drive the new hotness.

543
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:15,087
Old and busted, new hotness.

544
00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:26,139
Old busted hotness.

545
00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:29,184
- Serleena, please.
- Been a long time, Zed.

546
00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:32,979
I'm just touched you remembered me.
Makes me fuzzy all over.

547
00:45:33,147 --> 00:45:36,483
Never forget a pretty
whatever you are.

548
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,445
Zed?

549
00:45:40,822 --> 00:45:42,489
Zed? Look at you.

550
00:45:42,657 --> 00:45:45,659
Twenty-five years,
and you're still such a looker.

551
00:45:45,827 --> 00:45:47,536
Cut out the meat and dairy.

552
00:45:47,703 --> 00:45:51,498
And you, still a pile of squirmy
crap in a different wrapper.

553
00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:55,502
So feisty.
Look, we both need the same thing.

554
00:45:58,423 --> 00:45:59,965
Bring him in.

555
00:46:00,633 --> 00:46:01,716
Don't think so.

556
00:46:01,884 --> 00:46:05,846
What about the Light's secret?
If it's not off Earth by midnight...

557
00:46:06,013 --> 00:46:09,474
...it self-destructs,
annihilating your little planet.

558
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:13,520
I lose, you lose.
I win, everything keeps spinning.

559
00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:17,858
You don't want the Light on Earth
any more than I do.

560
00:46:20,486 --> 00:46:22,195
All right, Serleena.

561
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,323
You win.

562
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:30,245
Zed? Is that you?
I could be Agent Em.

563
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:32,038
Zed. Hello?

564
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,634
So feisty.

565
00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:52,767
Fastest way back to MiB,
you take this right on 39th.

566
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,519
Right here. Right.

567
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:58,440
Next right on 37th.

568
00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,067
Right here. Thirty... Thirty... Right!

569
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:02,986
We're not going back to MiB.

570
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:08,241
Headquarters has been breached.
We need to peel caps and split wigs.

571
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,035
Not ready.

572
00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:13,914
Look, you've been out for five years.
That's a long time.

573
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:17,209
I understand you're scared.
I'm a little scared too.

574
00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:19,419
- I'm not scared.
- Me neither.

575
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:22,422
I just thought we was bonding.

576
00:47:23,257 --> 00:47:27,344
You're acting like a rookie.
Splitting wigs and stepping on caps.

577
00:47:27,512 --> 00:47:31,598
- No wonder Zed brought me back.
- He did it because you messed up.

578
00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:34,476
Your attitude makes for
a stressful environment.

579
00:47:34,644 --> 00:47:38,730
Tell it to the hand.
Stressful is what we got back at MiB.

580
00:47:38,898 --> 00:47:43,485
Exactly. Serleena broke into MiB
in order to lure me back.

581
00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:45,737
Into a trap.

582
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:48,448
Which is why we can't
bust in there.

583
00:47:48,616 --> 00:47:51,618
We need a plan. Where we going?
Scene of the crime?

584
00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:55,997
- You're the boss.
- Scene of the crime. That's a left.

585
00:47:58,459 --> 00:48:00,961
I'll contact the witness.
We'll talk to her.

586
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:04,381
Things have changed.
We used to neuralyze witnesses.

587
00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:07,467
See, originally, I'd...

588
00:48:08,469 --> 00:48:12,973
No, I was going to...
I interrogated her.

589
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:14,808
- Then neuralyzed her?
- What?

590
00:48:14,976 --> 00:48:20,355
MiB code 773/l-1 clearly states
that all civilian personnel...

591
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:22,857
- Drop that weapon!
- No!

592
00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:24,651
Jay, I'm... I'm sorry.

593
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:27,737
No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault.

594
00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,532
Kay, my partner.
Laura, the witness.

595
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,825
Pleasure.

596
00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:37,706
Thanks for sending those agents over
to keep an eye on me last night.

597
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:39,874
MiB procedural code 594-B...

598
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:43,211
...states that MiB personnel
shall never be used...

599
00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:48,717
Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here.
I assume the perp was over here.

600
00:48:48,884 --> 00:48:50,468
Ben.

601
00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:53,471
- Was he 5'7", thinning hair?
- You knew him?

602
00:48:53,889 --> 00:48:56,141
Nope. Never seen him before
in my life.

603
00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:59,185
That is a hell of a fish.

604
00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:03,189
Wait a minute.

605
00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:09,738
You left yourself clues?

606
00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:13,992
In case I was deneuralyzed because
my replacement couldn't handle it.

607
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:18,830
If the joker that had got deneuralyzed
hadn't created the situation...

608
00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:20,332
Boys.

609
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:25,128
All right. You pointing at something.

610
00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:28,923
Okay.

611
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,675
Excuse me.

612
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:33,803
The astronaut.

613
00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:36,556
Jay?

614
00:49:37,058 --> 00:49:39,351
Okay, all right. He's pointing...

615
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:41,478
He's like...

616
00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:46,066
Who would stack boxes like this?

617
00:49:46,233 --> 00:49:50,070
A box stacker who's not
stacking boxes. He's leaving clues.

618
00:49:50,237 --> 00:49:51,738
It's an arrow.

619
00:49:55,868 --> 00:49:58,119
- Jay?
- You're slowing me down, slick.

620
00:49:58,287 --> 00:50:01,915
Whatever we're looking for
is in these cabinets, right here.

621
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:06,419
Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil.

622
00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,300
I hope I'm not slowing you down.

623
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:15,553
Good work, partner. Yeah.

624
00:50:15,721 --> 00:50:18,640
- We gotta figure out where it goes.
- I know where.

625
00:50:18,933 --> 00:50:23,103
- No. Not yet.
- MiB code 773 clearly says...

626
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:26,439
I know the code,
but she might be important to me.

627
00:50:27,066 --> 00:50:29,567
To us. Well, for help.
To help us later.

628
00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:32,946
Well, she can't stay here.
They'll be back.

629
00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:39,327
- You can stay with friends of mine.
- People like you?

630
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:40,620
Kind of.

631
00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:42,372
Jay!

632
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:45,041
- Low bridge!
- What's going on, man?

633
00:50:45,209 --> 00:50:48,461
Hey, what's happening, fellas?
MiB is code 101.

634
00:50:49,088 --> 00:50:50,463
- Bad.
- Very bad.

635
00:50:50,631 --> 00:50:54,676
- I need your help. This is Laura.
- Laura!

636
00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:56,469
Easy, easy!

637
00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:57,679
They're worms.

638
00:50:57,847 --> 00:51:01,141
Once you go worm,
that's what you'll yearn.

639
00:51:01,308 --> 00:51:04,644
- That's what they say. They just:
- I've dated worse.

640
00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:07,814
They're suspended
for stealing from duty-free shop.

641
00:51:07,982 --> 00:51:10,775
- We were framed.
- Zed's wormophobic.

642
00:51:10,943 --> 00:51:12,235
- Kay!
- You're back!

643
00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:15,155
- They said you were dead.
- We're double-parked.

644
00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:17,198
Laura's very important to me.

645
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:21,494
To us. To the stuff...
Me and you, the stuff we're doing.

646
00:51:22,663 --> 00:51:25,665
- Keep an eye on her.
- I'll keep both on her.

647
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:26,833
No problem!

648
00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:28,877
Hey, hey, hey!

649
00:51:29,044 --> 00:51:31,838
- Why don't you sit here?
- Like you got a shot.

650
00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:33,173
Hey, shut up!

651
00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:39,012
My communicator, in case you need it.

652
00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:44,309
- Nice move.
- Okay.

653
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:50,732
- Just watch out for Neeble.
- Which one's Neeble?

654
00:51:50,900 --> 00:51:52,358
He's...

655
00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:55,403
- Which one of y'all is Neeble?
- Yo, mama!

656
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:59,783
Him, right there. It's fine.
Everything's straight. It's safe.

657
00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:01,951
Don't fall asleep.

658
00:52:03,704 --> 00:52:05,371
Twister!

659
00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:12,045
Run over your plan one more time.
I'm struggling with it.

660
00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:16,049
You neuralyzed memory of the Light
but left yourself clues.

661
00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:17,258
Right.

662
00:52:17,426 --> 00:52:22,514
Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria
which opens a locker at Grand Central.

663
00:52:22,681 --> 00:52:26,726
- In the locker, we'll find another clue.
- That's the plan.

664
00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:32,774
- I like to keep my enemies confused.
- We all confused, Kay.

665
00:52:35,069 --> 00:52:39,405
- Are you gonna slow me down?
- Your brain's working on old software.

666
00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,783
Why don't you go
grab us some coffee?

667
00:52:41,951 --> 00:52:45,453
Sure. How do you take it?
Black? Couple cubes of kiss my ass?

668
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,040
I don't know what's in there,
so step back.

669
00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:52,669
Kay, for real, man.
Open the damn locker.

670
00:52:57,258 --> 00:52:59,634
Kay!
He's back! The light giver!

671
00:52:59,802 --> 00:53:02,303
All hail Kay! All hail Kay!

672
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:06,558
Oh, Kay, can you see
By the dawn's early light

673
00:53:06,725 --> 00:53:09,561
You are the man who would be king
of the train locker.

674
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:10,770
Praise Kay!

675
00:53:10,938 --> 00:53:15,733
Oh, good and gentle townfolk
of Locker C-18...

676
00:53:15,901 --> 00:53:19,445
...did I leave anything here?
- Yes. The timekeeper.

677
00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:22,282
Left to illuminate our streets
and hearts.

678
00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:26,953
- I've been looking everywhere for this.
- Merciful one! The clock tower!

679
00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,831
I got y'all, it's cool.
Check this out.

680
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:33,251
Titanium case.
Waterproof to over 300 meters.

681
00:53:34,003 --> 00:53:36,588
- That's banging.
- Who are you, stranger?

682
00:53:37,006 --> 00:53:38,631
Jay.

683
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,259
All hail Jay!
All hail Jay!

684
00:53:41,677 --> 00:53:43,720
Oh, Jay, can you see

685
00:53:43,888 --> 00:53:46,973
- Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of...
- Come on.

686
00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:49,642
- Wait! The commandments!
- The tablet!

687
00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:52,854
The tablet! The tablet!
The tablet! The tablet!

688
00:53:53,022 --> 00:53:57,066
We have lived by its word, and peace
has reigned throughout our world.

689
00:53:57,234 --> 00:54:00,653
Pass it on to others! So that they too
may be enlightened!

690
00:54:00,821 --> 00:54:02,488
Be kind! Rewind!

691
00:54:02,656 --> 00:54:04,490
Reconcile your past...

692
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,327
...in order to move tranquilly
into your future!

693
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:09,829
Two for one every Wednesday.

694
00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:13,374
Give twice as much as ye receive
on our most sacred of days.

695
00:54:13,667 --> 00:54:14,709
Every Wednesday.

696
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:18,671
Large adult entertainment section
in the back.

697
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,676
That's just nasty.

698
00:54:24,511 --> 00:54:26,763
- What's with the video card?
- Don't know.

699
00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:28,431
- The watch?
- A reminder.

700
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:29,974
- Of what?
- Can't remember.

701
00:54:30,142 --> 00:54:31,184
Guess.

702
00:54:31,352 --> 00:54:35,104
I guess we have till midnight,
that's 59 minutes to figure it out.

703
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:41,653
Look. Here's an idea. Let's stop
chasing butt-backwards clues...

704
00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:45,990
...get a couple fission carbonizers
and get our headquarters back.

705
00:54:46,158 --> 00:54:48,326
It's all about to make sense, kid.

706
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:50,244
Is this card valid?

707
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:55,708
- This card hasn't been used in years.
- I've been away on business.

708
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:58,211
- Billions of frequent flier miles.
- Try and use them.

709
00:54:58,379 --> 00:55:02,423
I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can
get a lobster dinner for a dollar.

710
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:08,137
The airlines black out holidays.
It's a conspiracy, I'm sure, I mean...

711
00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:11,015
Can you tell us anything
about the account?

712
00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,351
You never checked out a tape.

713
00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:16,854
You reserved one once,
but you never picked it up.

714
00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:19,816
- Newton.
- There's a rat in the toilet.

715
00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:24,237
It's all stopped up.
You're gonna have to pee in the sin...

716
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:30,410
- Still think I'm paranoid?
- Yeah.

717
00:55:31,203 --> 00:55:36,666
Gentlemen, my name is Newton.
I run the place. Seen any aliens lately?

718
00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:41,087
- You need professional help.
- He's getting it. It's not working.

719
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,464
Okay, so, new case, huh?

720
00:55:43,632 --> 00:55:46,092
Episode 27, Light of Zartha.

721
00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:48,928
Got it.

722
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:53,307
Jarra, it's a sin they've kept
a genius like you locked away.

723
00:55:53,475 --> 00:55:57,437
Their agent Jay caught me siphoning
ozone to sell on the black market.

724
00:55:57,604 --> 00:55:59,564
They're touchy about global warming.

725
00:55:59,732 --> 00:56:03,276
I need a spacecraft that can travel
300 times the speed of light.

726
00:56:03,444 --> 00:56:05,445
I'll give you
whatever you want.

727
00:56:05,612 --> 00:56:08,114
- Give me Jay. We'll call it even.
- Groovy.

728
00:56:08,907 --> 00:56:11,367
You've got till midnight.

729
00:56:15,539 --> 00:56:19,125
Gatbot, I got a little
something special for you.

730
00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:26,424
Newton? Newton, is that you?

731
00:56:26,592 --> 00:56:29,093
Yes, Mom, I'm up here
with some friends.

732
00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:30,845
I wanna have your baby.

733
00:56:31,013 --> 00:56:33,139
Would you like some mini-pizza?

734
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:37,143
You guys want some mini-pizzas?
They're good.

735
00:56:37,311 --> 00:56:40,521
They're like mini-bagels,
with pizza stuff on them.

736
00:56:40,689 --> 00:56:43,483
She'll put a little fontina cheese on.

737
00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:47,653
She has palsy, so she ends
up putting a lot of cheese on.

738
00:56:52,284 --> 00:56:54,410
No, thanks, we're cool.

739
00:56:54,578 --> 00:56:55,828
All right.

740
00:56:57,581 --> 00:56:58,956
Over here.

741
00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:04,962
This is it.

742
00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,548
Finally some hard evidence.

743
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,511
Gentlemen, before I play the tape,
one question:

744
00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,846
What's up with anal probing?

745
00:57:14,014 --> 00:57:17,934
Aliens travel billions of light
years just to check out our...

746
00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:20,353
Boy, move.

747
00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:23,439
Okay. Just a question.

748
00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:28,027
Here is one of their stories
that "never happened"...

749
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:32,073
...from one of their files
that doesn't exist.

750
00:57:33,492 --> 00:57:38,496
1978. Devastating war of Zartha
had raged on for 50 years.

751
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,414
Looks like Spielberg's work.

752
00:57:40,582 --> 00:57:44,502
But the Zarthans had
a great treasure, the Light of Zartha.

753
00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:48,047
A source of power so awesome,
it alone...

754
00:57:48,215 --> 00:57:51,801
...could mean victory and restoration
for the Zarthans...

755
00:57:51,969 --> 00:57:56,389
...or complete annihilation, if it
fell into the hands of the Kylothians.

756
00:57:56,557 --> 00:58:00,685
A group of Zarthans made the journey,
led by the Keeper of the Light...

757
00:58:00,853 --> 00:58:02,311
Lauranna.

758
00:58:02,729 --> 00:58:04,856
...Princess Lauranna.

759
00:58:05,149 --> 00:58:09,735
Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black
to help her hide the Light on Earth.

760
00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:12,238
But they could not intervene.

761
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:13,656
No.

762
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:15,491
It was night.

763
00:58:17,703 --> 00:58:19,120
And it was raining.

764
00:58:19,788 --> 00:58:21,205
You've been very wise.

765
00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:25,918
Kay, please. If Serleena takes
the Light, it's the end of our world.

766
00:58:26,587 --> 00:58:29,922
If we extend protection for the Light
beyond Earth...

767
00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:33,426
...we put Earth in jeopardy.
We must remain neutral.

768
00:58:33,594 --> 00:58:36,179
- Where is it?
- We're neutral, remember?

769
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,598
If you want it, go get it.

770
00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,312
No!

771
00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,760
And so never knowing it happened...

772
00:59:15,928 --> 00:59:18,846
...the people of Earth
were once again saved...

773
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:22,141
...by a secret society of protectors...

774
00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:24,936
I shouldn't have.

775
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:28,314
You never sent it off the planet.

776
00:59:29,441 --> 00:59:30,858
You hid it here.

777
00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:34,278
The worm guys.

778
00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:41,244
Are you one of Newton's
friends from therapy?

779
00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:45,915
- Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please.
- Would you like some mini-pizz...?

780
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,542
A neuralyz...

781
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:53,172
Okay, first, get some contact lenses.

782
00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:55,633
Joints look like they pick up cable.

783
00:59:55,801 --> 01:00:00,388
Second, take her to Cambodia. Get
her lobster. Pay more than a dollar.

784
01:00:00,555 --> 01:00:03,849
Third, the second y'all get back
from Cambodia...

785
01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:07,061
...move your bum ass
out of your mom's house.

786
01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,647
- Let's go.
- Boy, you like 40 years old.

787
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:12,108
- Agent Jay?
- All right, all right.

788
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:16,279
And there ain't no such thing
as aliens or Men in Black.

789
01:00:22,494 --> 01:00:25,705
- You wanna go to Cambodia?
- Yeah.

790
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:29,208
Hey, Mom?

791
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:31,919
Communicator, Jay.

792
01:00:32,796 --> 01:00:35,589
- Laura, it's me.
- Jay, we're playing Twister.

793
01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:37,550
What's up, Jay?

794
01:00:37,718 --> 01:00:41,012
- Quit touching my butt!
- I thought it was your face.

795
01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:44,223
They're good at this.
They don't have spines.

796
01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:47,351
They were telling me about Oprah,
from Chicago.

797
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:50,730
Maybe landed in Chicago.

798
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,899
- Are you wearing a bracelet?
- Yeah.

799
01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:55,151
Is it glowing?

800
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:03,242
- It's never done that before.
- We're on our way.

801
01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:04,952
Communicator, Frank.

802
01:01:05,245 --> 01:01:10,791
Deactivate lockdown. We're headed
to the worm guys. We found the Light.

803
01:01:10,959 --> 01:01:13,711
Got it, Jay. Scrad?

804
01:01:13,879 --> 01:01:15,004
Bitch.

805
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:17,089
Why didn't you say I love you?

806
01:01:17,257 --> 01:01:21,886
- He's a dog. I don't even like him.
- No, the girl. You're sweet on her.

807
01:01:22,054 --> 01:01:25,222
That's why you didn't neuralyze her.
You got emotionally involved.

808
01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:29,894
- Like you did with Lauranna?
- I put the entire planet in danger.

809
01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:33,314
I don't want to see you
making my mistakes.

810
01:01:33,482 --> 01:01:35,066
Whatever, man.

811
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:40,654
Laura?

812
01:01:47,621 --> 01:01:48,662
Damn!

813
01:01:53,085 --> 01:01:55,044
Never stood half a chance.

814
01:01:56,296 --> 01:01:57,380
Oh, boy.

815
01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:00,549
That's gonna leave a scar.

816
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,761
- Where's Laura?
- MiB headquarters.

817
01:02:03,929 --> 01:02:07,056
- Some dumb two-headed guy.
- They got the bracelet.

818
01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:09,975
We got 39 minutes.
You guys...

819
01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,311
...pull yourselves together.

820
01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:14,146
Damn.

821
01:02:15,524 --> 01:02:17,608
That's feeling better.

822
01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:20,486
- Hey, guys, wait up!
- Let me grab my drink!

823
01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:22,696
Serleena has the bracelet.
Why take Laura?

824
01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:24,031
She also wants me.

825
01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:27,493
- What's the book say?
- We're off book. I say split some wigs.

826
01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:29,912
- We need wig-splitting weapons.
- Got them.

827
01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:38,504
Paw Paw's coming to visit me.
Hello, Paw Paw.

828
01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:41,674
Paw Paw and ZuZu love
to see what's going on in the garden.

829
01:02:41,842 --> 01:02:46,262
Don't worry, folks. I used to live
here. Came to pick up a few things.

830
01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:51,809
Nice place.

831
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:05,531
See you.

832
01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:18,169
You did not see a room
full of weapons or four aliens.

833
01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:21,046
You will cherish and love each other
for the rest of your lives.

834
01:03:21,214 --> 01:03:25,217
Which could be the next 28 minutes,
so get to loving and cherishing.

835
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:28,053
And she can stay up
as late as she want...

836
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:30,848
...and have cookies
and candy and stuff.

837
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:46,030
Four minutes to launch.

838
01:03:46,740 --> 01:03:50,743
- Your ship is ready.
- Good. Send it to Kyloth now.

839
01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:55,372
Ready, guys?

840
01:03:55,540 --> 01:03:57,750
Lock and load, baby.

841
01:03:57,918 --> 01:03:59,585
- You ready, kid?
- Kid?

842
01:03:59,753 --> 01:04:02,755
I saved the world
from a Kreelon invasion.

843
01:04:02,923 --> 01:04:07,092
They're the Backstreet Boys of
the universe. They throw snowballs?

844
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:09,345
Know what you're doing?

845
01:04:09,513 --> 01:04:12,515
I'm about to attack one
of the most feared aliens...

846
01:04:12,682 --> 01:04:15,935
...with four worms and a mailman.
Let's make it hot.

847
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:17,394
No, no, wait!

848
01:04:23,151 --> 01:04:25,444
A code 101 lockdown!

849
01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:29,657
The building gets pressurized.
Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that.

850
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,867
Yeah, you knew.
Front and center, worms!

851
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:33,327
You got it.

852
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:45,464
It's about time you guys got here.
That lady is causing all kinds of hell.

853
01:05:05,819 --> 01:05:09,071
Yummy. Someone I need to eat.

854
01:05:09,281 --> 01:05:12,783
Get to the launch pad. The bracelet
shows the departure point.

855
01:05:12,951 --> 01:05:15,369
- Do not come back for me.
- What do you mean?

856
01:05:15,537 --> 01:05:18,247
Do not come back for me.

857
01:05:22,502 --> 01:05:26,589
- Worm guys, give me some cover fire.
- Too scared, can't move.

858
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:37,474
Go!

859
01:05:48,194 --> 01:05:51,113
- Limber.
- Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta.

860
01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:56,785
- Shut off power so they can't take off.
- Can't. Too scared.

861
01:05:57,746 --> 01:06:00,372
- That way.
- Away from the bullets.

862
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,166
No problem.

863
01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:18,724
Nice to see you again, Kay.

864
01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:25,022
- Three minutes to launch.
- Jay!

865
01:06:25,190 --> 01:06:27,399
Three minutes to launch.

866
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,360
Hello, Jay. Long time.

867
01:06:29,527 --> 01:06:32,029
Jarra! What's up, man?
You look great.

868
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:34,823
- What's it been? Five years?
- And 42 days.

869
01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:37,493
You count every one
when you're locked away.

870
01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:41,747
You shouldn't have tried to steal
our ozone. Be there in one minute.

871
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:45,459
Over our dead titanium bodies!

872
01:06:45,627 --> 01:06:47,086
Two minutes.

873
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,594
Let's play this one by ear.

874
01:06:58,390 --> 01:07:02,601
- I should have vaporized you before.
- You really did love Lauranna.

875
01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:04,645
Didn't you, Kay?

876
01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:06,980
You silly little man.

877
01:07:35,218 --> 01:07:37,302
Two minutes to launch.

878
01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:40,639
Just go, I'll be fine!

879
01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,976
What you talking about?
I'm winning.

880
01:07:44,144 --> 01:07:48,147
Jarra, you are under arrest
for being that ugly...

881
01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:51,150
...and for making that many copies.
Surrender!

882
01:07:51,317 --> 01:07:53,193
I want him in pieces.

883
01:07:55,864 --> 01:07:58,198
Jarra Jr. Is going, going...

884
01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:00,659
...gone!

885
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:15,924
- Rectum.
- Damn near killed him!

886
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:17,843
Never get tired of that one.

887
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:20,679
- Where do we shut off the power?
- Don't know.

888
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:30,606
- I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute.
- No, he won't.

889
01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:38,947
Down to one now, Jarra!

890
01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:50,793
Thirty seconds to launch.

891
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:01,261
Fifteen seconds to launch.

892
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:06,308
Ten seconds to launch.

893
01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:07,851
Eight.

894
01:09:08,019 --> 01:09:09,353
Seven.

895
01:09:09,521 --> 01:09:10,896
Six.

896
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:12,397
Five.

897
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:13,690
Four.

898
01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:14,983
Three.

899
01:09:15,151 --> 01:09:16,235
Two.

900
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,696
Launch terminated.

901
01:09:20,156 --> 01:09:23,617
- What did you mean, leave you?
- Well, he took your gun.

902
01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:26,620
Cracked your head.
Slammed you across the room.

903
01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:30,874
- Half the time you were on your back.
- Look, that's how I fight.

904
01:09:31,584 --> 01:09:34,044
You've lost, you insignificant speck.

905
01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:37,256
You've wasted 25 years
of my time, and for what?

906
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:41,552
The total annihilation of Zartha.
All because you went mushy.

907
01:09:41,719 --> 01:09:45,931
I'll give you one last chance
to surrender, you slimy invertebrate.

908
01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:49,685
- What are you gonna do to stop me?
- Not me. Him.

909
01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:54,022
Your flight's been canceled.

910
01:10:00,738 --> 01:10:05,158
Shut down power. Shut down power.
Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing...

911
01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:06,451
Yeah.

912
01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:10,789
- Worms!
- Sorry.

913
01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:18,547
- Give me the bracelet.
- I'm going with you.

914
01:10:18,715 --> 01:10:21,425
Everybody in the car.
Everybody.

915
01:10:34,606 --> 01:10:37,482
This bracelet is what
everybody's been after?

916
01:10:37,650 --> 01:10:39,359
It's often something small.

917
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:42,487
It's not the Light.
It tells us the departure point.

918
01:10:42,655 --> 01:10:45,574
- What?
- If we don't get there in 11 minutes...

919
01:10:45,742 --> 01:10:48,827
...that bracelet will go nuclear
and destroy Earth.

920
01:10:48,995 --> 01:10:50,454
What?!

921
01:10:51,039 --> 01:10:52,080
Hello.

922
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:55,167
- Wait, Kay, no.
- I know what I'm doing.

923
01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:11,141
Damn.

924
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:16,021
- Modified to hyper-speed!
- Seat belts.

925
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:20,442
What's that?

926
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:24,029
At hyper-speed, you have
to use the navigational stalk.

927
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:32,537
Toggle switches for the ailerons.
Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder.

928
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,122
Okay.

929
01:11:37,752 --> 01:11:39,586
I just want you to know...

930
01:11:39,754 --> 01:11:41,880
Hold on to that for one second.

931
01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:47,135
Computer, worms.

932
01:11:47,303 --> 01:11:52,307
I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me
to kick your skinny Zone Diet ass...

933
01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:56,353
...turn around and exit the planet."
- Frank, where are you?

934
01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:57,980
Main hall, egg display.

935
01:11:58,147 --> 01:12:01,024
We're taking fire.
Kay pushed the red button.

936
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:05,070
Computer at MiB can destroy
bogey. I'll walk you through it.

937
01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:11,994
Jay? Frank. You were the best darn
partner a Remoolian could ever have.

938
01:12:12,787 --> 01:12:14,079
Godspeed.

939
01:12:15,540 --> 01:12:16,581
Frank? Frank?

940
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:20,252
Okay, here we go, automatic pilot.

941
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:26,675
- It is not automatic piloting.
- He doesn't operate at hyper-speed.

942
01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:30,262
- I could use a steering wheel!
- This is what we got.

943
01:12:32,056 --> 01:12:34,975
- Didn't you ever have a Game Boy?
- What is a Game Boy?

944
01:12:35,143 --> 01:12:37,602
- You know what? Move. Move.
- Okay.

945
01:12:38,021 --> 01:12:40,355
That is not the navigational stalk!

946
01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:54,327
Okay, straight down.

947
01:12:59,042 --> 01:13:00,459
Idiots.

948
01:13:10,511 --> 01:13:13,305
Subway may not be the best place
to lose her.

949
01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,142
- Where is he?
- He?

950
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:18,852
Jeff. Hang on!

951
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:24,483
Teeth.

952
01:13:58,434 --> 01:14:01,436
Running out of time, Kay.
Where is the Light?

953
01:14:02,647 --> 01:14:04,147
Right here.

954
01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:07,359
- What?
- What, I'm the Light?

955
01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,862
- No. No way.
- You have a planet to save.

956
01:14:11,030 --> 01:14:13,532
You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria.

957
01:14:13,699 --> 01:14:17,661
Two days ago, I was running a post
office. You are who you are.

958
01:14:17,829 --> 01:14:20,914
Laura, you are the Light.

959
01:14:21,082 --> 01:14:24,835
The leader of your people.
Their spirit and their hope.

960
01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:27,712
The power is within you
to save a planet.

961
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:32,801
I protected you until it was
your time. Your time is now.

962
01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:40,392
You will save a world.
You know things before they happen.

963
01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:42,686
- I'm a Libra.
- You're Zarthan.

964
01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:47,065
- When you get sad, it rains.
- Lots of people get sad when it rains.

965
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:50,068
It rains because you're sad, baby.

966
01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:44,915
It's not fair.

967
01:15:50,796 --> 01:15:52,464
Never is.

968
01:15:54,217 --> 01:15:55,842
We are who we are...

969
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:58,511
...even if we sometimes forget.

970
01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:10,482
Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you!

971
01:16:10,650 --> 01:16:12,400
Get back in the subway!
Now!

972
01:16:18,950 --> 01:16:20,200
That's not good.

973
01:16:22,078 --> 01:16:23,620
Wait! No!

974
01:16:25,039 --> 01:16:26,373
Jay!

975
01:16:26,999 --> 01:16:31,419
I cannot emphasize enough how
much we need you on that transport.

976
01:16:32,838 --> 01:16:35,131
Laura! You have to go!

977
01:16:35,549 --> 01:16:36,925
Oh, jeez.

978
01:16:38,970 --> 01:16:41,763
Go. He's fine.
He does this all the time.

979
01:16:42,848 --> 01:16:44,099
Nope!

980
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:49,354
About to lay the smackdown
on your candy ass.

981
01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:52,107
Laura! It's your destiny!

982
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,276
I was talking, Kay!

983
01:16:55,778 --> 01:16:57,946
Hey! No biting.

984
01:16:59,699 --> 01:17:02,075
If you don't go, we all die.

985
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:07,872
You're just as beautiful
as your mother.

986
01:17:14,547 --> 01:17:16,840
Kay? A little help?

987
01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:30,353
Kay?

988
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:34,733
Might I suggest a bigger gun?

989
01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:02,844
- Kid?
- Yeah.

990
01:18:03,304 --> 01:18:06,639
- Thanks for bringing me back.
- No problem.

991
01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:08,767
Why didn't you tell me?

992
01:18:08,934 --> 01:18:11,061
Would you have let her go?

993
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:36,378
So, what's it like on the outside?
Not doing this every day?

994
01:18:36,545 --> 01:18:37,962
It's nice.

995
01:18:38,130 --> 01:18:41,966
Sleep late on the weekends.
Watch the Weather Channel.

996
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:47,597
I did miss this city.

997
01:18:48,808 --> 01:18:52,352
So Laura is Princess Lauranna's
daughter.

998
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:57,649
- Did y'all...?
- MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid.

999
01:18:58,442 --> 01:18:59,651
Let's go?

1000
01:18:59,819 --> 01:19:04,114
Thousands of people in New York
and New Jersey saw our little event.

1001
01:19:04,281 --> 01:19:08,660
Plan needs to be thought out.
Plan needs to be cool. What you...?

1002
01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:15,291
Kid, I'll get you trained yet.

1003
01:19:15,459 --> 01:19:17,001
I want one of those.

1004
01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:18,420
Damn!

1005
01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:24,467
- Hey.
- Hey.

1006
01:19:24,635 --> 01:19:27,053
- How you doing?
- I'm good, man.

1007
01:19:27,221 --> 01:19:31,766
We've all been there. The girl is gone
and it hurts. Wanna talk?

1008
01:19:31,934 --> 01:19:33,476
- No.
- I can help.

1009
01:19:33,644 --> 01:19:34,686
No.

1010
01:19:34,854 --> 01:19:35,854
Still sulking?

1011
01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,063
- No.
- Yeah.

1012
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:41,484
You miss her. It happens to all of us.
I knew this hot young thing.

1013
01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:45,238
When our bodies were in the positions
of the Kamasutra...

1014
01:19:45,406 --> 01:19:46,698
Zed!

1015
01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:49,033
Come on, man! Damn!

1016
01:19:49,410 --> 01:19:51,119
I'll tell you about dames.

1017
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:54,873
They say they want to be scratched,
but they really want:

1018
01:19:55,040 --> 01:19:56,708
Hey! Frank.

1019
01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:59,586
What? Still sitting shiva?
Want my advice?

1020
01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:01,671
No. No advice.

1021
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:03,381
No talking.

1022
01:20:04,008 --> 01:20:05,300
Hell, no.

1023
01:20:05,468 --> 01:20:08,136
Fellas, I swear, I'm fine.

1024
01:20:09,096 --> 01:20:11,890
All hail Jay! All hail Jay!

1025
01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:16,060
- I brought them from Grand Central.
- Why put them in my locker?

1026
01:20:16,228 --> 01:20:18,563
I thought it would put things
in perspective.

1027
01:20:18,731 --> 01:20:21,399
It's kind of sad.
We need to let them out.

1028
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:24,777
They need to know the world
is bigger than that.

1029
01:20:24,945 --> 01:20:26,446
Still a rookie.


