1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,289 Previously on bunheads... 2 00:00:01,409 --> 00:00:03,477 Joffrey's school of ballet will be coming here 3 00:00:03,597 --> 00:00:05,527 to hold auditions next week 4 00:00:05,647 --> 00:00:07,831 for their summer scholarship program. 5 00:00:07,951 --> 00:00:09,351 I was thinking I was gonna try out. 6 00:00:09,456 --> 00:00:10,735 Well, it certainly can't hurt. 7 00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:12,952 God, boo, why don't you just give them a lap dance? 8 00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:15,212 I could kill sascha. She's so awful. 9 00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:16,219 She's having a bad day. 10 00:00:16,290 --> 00:00:18,575 You have no idea what it's like to be me, boo. 11 00:00:18,695 --> 00:00:20,938 Don't psychoanalyze me, feel sorry for me 12 00:00:20,973 --> 00:00:22,248 or defend me. I'm fine. 13 00:00:22,368 --> 00:00:23,473 This is your home, Fanny. 14 00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:24,745 You are going to live here, 15 00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:27,163 and I'm going to move into the guesthouse. 16 00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:30,451 It is not possible that all of this stuff is mine. 17 00:00:30,485 --> 00:00:31,485 It's a physical impossibility. 18 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:32,486 I'm pretty sure it's all yours. 19 00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:33,788 Aha! "Pretty sure." 20 00:00:33,822 --> 00:00:36,490 That's not absolutely sure... I'm pretty absolutely sure. 21 00:00:36,525 --> 00:00:38,459 It's all on the manifest. Whoa there, partner. 22 00:00:38,493 --> 00:00:40,394 Where you going with that? He's just taking it inside. 23 00:00:40,429 --> 00:00:43,564 What? No. I don't have enough inside for all of this to go in. 24 00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:45,466 I mean how many more boxes are there? 25 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:46,467 These are all the boxes. 26 00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:47,501 What's left is just furniture. 27 00:00:47,536 --> 00:00:48,669 Furniture? Oh my god. 28 00:00:48,704 --> 00:00:49,804 That stupid landlord. 29 00:00:49,838 --> 00:00:50,838 You want a little backstory? 30 00:00:50,872 --> 00:00:51,872 To tell you the truth, I really don't... 31 00:00:51,907 --> 00:00:53,774 See, I had to leave Vegas in a hurry. 32 00:00:53,809 --> 00:00:55,576 I wasn't running from the law or anything. 33 00:00:55,611 --> 00:00:56,644 I just bolted really quickly 34 00:00:56,678 --> 00:00:57,878 and left all my stuff in my apartment, 35 00:00:57,913 --> 00:00:59,714 so I made a deal with the landlord to ship it. 36 00:00:59,748 --> 00:01:02,550 Only he threw in stuff that isn't even mine for sure. 37 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,785 I mean this? Does this look like something I would own? 38 00:01:04,820 --> 00:01:06,787 Me? Actually, this is mine. 39 00:01:06,822 --> 00:01:08,623 I have a crazy aunt who has a thing for Mexico. 40 00:01:08,657 --> 00:01:10,658 But the bulk of this stuff... no way! 41 00:01:10,692 --> 00:01:12,360 Comin' through. Watch your backs. 42 00:01:12,394 --> 00:01:13,794 Oh my god. Oh my god. 43 00:01:13,829 --> 00:01:15,796 The buffet? Are you joking? 44 00:01:15,831 --> 00:01:18,566 It's on the manifest. But this is one of the old pieces 45 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,735 of crap furniture that was in the place when I took it. 46 00:01:20,769 --> 00:01:22,637 I never even touched it after that first day 47 00:01:22,671 --> 00:01:23,771 when I opened this drawer, and there was this 48 00:01:23,805 --> 00:01:24,839 thing in it. 49 00:01:24,873 --> 00:01:26,507 The thing's still there. Wow. 50 00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:28,442 I'm not taking this! We have to leave it. 51 00:01:28,477 --> 00:01:29,644 It's on the... It's on the manifest. 52 00:01:29,678 --> 00:01:31,479 I know. 53 00:01:31,513 --> 00:01:32,813 Oh. 54 00:01:32,848 --> 00:01:34,715 Well. Hello there, grandpa. 55 00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,550 Nice to see you. 56 00:01:36,585 --> 00:01:39,286 I need these dirt patches filled in. 57 00:01:39,321 --> 00:01:40,688 I know there's not enough sun to ain it. 58 00:01:40,722 --> 00:01:42,690 But just to get me through the auditions. 59 00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:45,760 And I want to plant flowers along the base of the studio 60 00:01:45,794 --> 00:01:47,628 and all around the back. 61 00:01:47,663 --> 00:01:49,664 Color! Think color. 62 00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:53,300 What's going on here? 63 00:01:53,335 --> 00:01:55,469 I'm being robbed in reverse. What? 64 00:01:55,504 --> 00:01:58,305 Things are being brought to me that I do not own or want. 65 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,674 Do not say what you're about to say. 66 00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:00,708 Follow me. 67 00:02:01,677 --> 00:02:03,244 Follow me! 68 00:02:03,278 --> 00:02:04,612 Oh, me? Okay. 69 00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:11,385 Every barre is loose, so tighten them. 70 00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:12,653 Now the audio. 71 00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:14,622 The left speaker on the stereo 72 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,458 is still staticky even after you fixed it the last time, 73 00:02:17,492 --> 00:02:19,393 so please look at it again. 74 00:02:19,428 --> 00:02:20,594 The new mirror is over there. 75 00:02:20,629 --> 00:02:21,662 Please put that up first, 76 00:02:21,697 --> 00:02:23,297 so that I know that it's perfect. 77 00:02:23,331 --> 00:02:25,399 And get all that stuff out of there. 78 00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:26,634 Did you hear me? Hear what? 79 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,402 Get all of that stuff in the driveway 80 00:02:28,437 --> 00:02:30,304 out of there. Sorry, you're cues today 81 00:02:30,338 --> 00:02:31,639 on who you're talking to are a little vague. 82 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,340 Now, the thing about the stuff... 83 00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:34,375 Is that it's all going byebye. 84 00:02:34,409 --> 00:02:35,676 Yes, but... No buts. 85 00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:37,378 I'm trying to deal with it, Fanny. It's just more 86 00:02:37,412 --> 00:02:39,280 than I thought there was going to be. 87 00:02:39,314 --> 00:02:41,549 I mean I didn't want any of that furniture shipped. It's junk! 88 00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:43,350 Was it on the manifest? Yes. 89 00:02:43,385 --> 00:02:44,652 But it's not even mine. 90 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,555 I mean I took this place in Vegas partially furnished 91 00:02:47,589 --> 00:02:49,323 because at the time I was coming off 92 00:02:49,357 --> 00:02:50,624 of a partially unhappy relationship 93 00:02:50,659 --> 00:02:51,659 with this guy that I lived with... 94 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,427 More unhappy than partial. 95 00:02:53,462 --> 00:02:55,429 And I thought, "great! Less stuff to buy." 96 00:02:55,464 --> 00:02:57,465 But, oh my god, the stuff in this apartment... 97 00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:59,734 I mean the grandfather clock actually has a cutout in the back, 98 00:02:59,768 --> 00:03:02,203 like clemenza used it to stash a gun for Michael 99 00:03:02,237 --> 00:03:03,477 to shoot the police chief with. 100 00:03:04,372 --> 00:03:05,372 Wait. 101 00:03:05,407 --> 00:03:06,474 Who killed a police chief? 102 00:03:06,508 --> 00:03:07,508 Michael in "the godfather." 103 00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:08,509 Oh my god. 104 00:03:08,543 --> 00:03:09,510 How long did I tune you out 105 00:03:09,544 --> 00:03:10,578 that you went all the way there? 106 00:03:10,612 --> 00:03:12,480 So I'm just saying all of that stuff 107 00:03:12,514 --> 00:03:13,647 will be gone... Immediately. 108 00:03:13,682 --> 00:03:15,549 If not immediately... Then immediately. 109 00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:18,219 So if there's any extra storage nooks or crannies 110 00:03:18,253 --> 00:03:20,287 that I could temporarily put some of this stuff in, 111 00:03:20,322 --> 00:03:21,455 that would be... No. 112 00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:23,457 There are no nooks, there are no crannies... 113 00:03:23,492 --> 00:03:24,658 Not with the joffrey people coming. 114 00:03:24,693 --> 00:03:27,428 I don't want them accidently opening a door 115 00:03:27,462 --> 00:03:29,230 and the end table from "blue velvet" 116 00:03:29,264 --> 00:03:30,297 lands on their heads. 117 00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:31,532 But it's so much stuff. 118 00:03:31,566 --> 00:03:34,535 Make it disappear. Like David Copperfield. 119 00:03:34,569 --> 00:03:35,636 That's a Vegas reference. 120 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:37,304 You know how David Copperfield 121 00:03:37,339 --> 00:03:38,405 makes stuff disappear? 122 00:03:39,441 --> 00:03:40,608 Actually, I don't. 123 00:03:40,642 --> 00:03:43,344 David Copperfield is a very professional magician 124 00:03:43,378 --> 00:03:46,514 who honors the value of keeping the mystery of the magical arts alive. 125 00:03:50,685 --> 00:03:53,320 I'm feeling very fatalistic about all this. 126 00:03:53,355 --> 00:03:55,589 Is there any more? Not much more. 127 00:03:55,624 --> 00:03:57,691 Do me a solid and make like David Copperfield. 128 00:03:57,726 --> 00:03:59,360 The magician? Yeah. 129 00:03:59,394 --> 00:04:00,327 I'm sorry. 130 00:04:00,362 --> 00:04:02,196 I didn't think so. 131 00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:38,499 Garlic hummus 132 00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:39,667 with the super crunchy pita chips. 133 00:04:39,701 --> 00:04:41,202 We should get that. 134 00:04:41,236 --> 00:04:42,570 Nope. Just the pita chips? 135 00:04:42,604 --> 00:04:44,371 Put the bag down, mom. 136 00:04:45,373 --> 00:04:46,373 Thanks. 137 00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,577 Here. They look so crunchy. 138 00:04:49,611 --> 00:04:51,412 Let's go find some radishes. 139 00:04:51,446 --> 00:04:52,546 That sounds fun. 140 00:04:52,581 --> 00:04:54,548 I do like my fancy shopping bag. 141 00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:57,318 We are so global bringing our chemist totes like this. 142 00:04:57,352 --> 00:04:59,320 I only had to bug you for a year to get you to do it. 143 00:04:59,354 --> 00:05:00,554 It was the picture of that seagull choking 144 00:05:00,589 --> 00:05:02,289 on that plastic bag that did it. 145 00:05:02,324 --> 00:05:03,390 Made me cry. 146 00:05:03,425 --> 00:05:04,625 And now this makes me happy. 147 00:05:04,659 --> 00:05:06,560 Like that seagull choked for a reason. 148 00:05:06,595 --> 00:05:09,396 Look how colorful! Boo! 149 00:05:09,431 --> 00:05:11,232 Ah, this stuff's beautiful. 150 00:05:11,266 --> 00:05:13,467 Boring! We'll get 2 bundles of the radishes. 151 00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:15,569 We already have turnips, celery. 152 00:05:15,604 --> 00:05:16,637 I'm just trying to be good. 153 00:05:16,671 --> 00:05:19,306 The joffrey auditions are in one week. 154 00:05:19,341 --> 00:05:21,475 Now is crunch time. 155 00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:23,410 Get it? Crun time. 156 00:05:23,445 --> 00:05:24,545 A thing as having 157 00:05:24,579 --> 00:05:25,646 too much of a good thing. 158 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,314 Let's get something fun. 159 00:05:27,349 --> 00:05:29,216 I did. I got edamame. 160 00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:31,318 Hooray for edamame! 161 00:05:31,353 --> 00:05:33,220 Look! 162 00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:34,421 The homemade peanut butter cups 163 00:05:34,456 --> 00:05:35,656 from the hippie place in topanga canyon. 164 00:05:35,690 --> 00:05:37,291 It's a miracle they have these. 165 00:05:37,325 --> 00:05:38,659 They're usually all off on their naked retreat 166 00:05:38,693 --> 00:05:40,427 this time of year. No. 167 00:05:40,462 --> 00:05:41,528 Come on. No. 168 00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:43,530 Get them for me then. I'm not stopping you. 169 00:05:43,565 --> 00:05:45,633 It's more fun when we eat stuff together. 170 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:48,202 Mom. I just... 171 00:05:48,236 --> 00:05:50,537 I worry a little bit. I mean this joffrey audition 172 00:05:50,572 --> 00:05:53,340 seems so important. It is so important. 173 00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,575 You were so disappointed last year 174 00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:56,277 when you didn't get in, remember? 175 00:05:56,311 --> 00:05:57,344 Yeah, I remember. 176 00:05:57,379 --> 00:05:58,445 You cried all week long, 177 00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,613 I got you that cake to cheer you up 178 00:05:59,648 --> 00:06:01,482 and we ate the whole thing, every bit of it. 179 00:06:01,516 --> 00:06:03,183 That was a good cake. 180 00:06:03,218 --> 00:06:04,351 So good. 181 00:06:04,386 --> 00:06:06,520 But this year's different. I'm better. 182 00:06:06,554 --> 00:06:09,256 I'm a better dancer, I'm in better shape... 183 00:06:09,291 --> 00:06:11,158 You are in perfect shape. 184 00:06:11,192 --> 00:06:12,426 You are perfect. 185 00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:14,395 I'm ready. I know I'm ready. 186 00:06:14,429 --> 00:06:16,530 Okay, but if it doesn't work out... 187 00:06:16,564 --> 00:06:18,532 It will, you'll see. 188 00:06:18,566 --> 00:06:20,367 Okay. Just checking. 189 00:06:20,402 --> 00:06:22,569 Kettle corn! 190 00:06:22,604 --> 00:06:25,339 Ah, keep moving. Keep moving 191 00:06:25,373 --> 00:06:27,174 popcorn's a whole grain. 192 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,575 The Southern lady on the food channel 193 00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:31,211 said so. Ooh, Kale. 194 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,400 Hot. Is that hot? 195 00:06:53,435 --> 00:06:54,501 Ooh, that's hot. 196 00:07:12,454 --> 00:07:14,455 Uhoh, spadoodleohs. 197 00:07:17,359 --> 00:07:19,426 Oh! Uh! 198 00:07:19,461 --> 00:07:21,595 Okay. Okay. 199 00:07:21,629 --> 00:07:24,164 Okay. Okay. 200 00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,300 Okay. Help! Help! Anybody! 201 00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:29,269 Anybody? Anyone who knows anything about gas? 202 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:43,484 Ow! 203 00:07:43,518 --> 00:07:45,252 Ah! 204 00:07:45,286 --> 00:07:46,520 It's like a storage facility in here. 205 00:07:46,554 --> 00:07:49,256 Fanny? Why are your doors open? 206 00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:50,591 Why are you here? And why is your window open? 207 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:52,493 Is everything okay? Aren't you freezing? 208 00:07:52,527 --> 00:07:54,328 It's freezing in here. That's what I just said. 209 00:07:54,362 --> 00:07:56,163 Are the windows open? And the door. 210 00:07:56,197 --> 00:07:57,264 I left the door open? 211 00:07:57,298 --> 00:07:58,265 We have got to get out of this 212 00:07:58,299 --> 00:07:59,433 mobius strip of conversation 213 00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,301 or I'll scream. Oh, get used to it. 214 00:08:01,336 --> 00:08:03,303 I'm slow to awaken. We don't sleep together. 215 00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:04,458 Why should I get used to it? 216 00:08:05,473 --> 00:08:07,541 Bright! Well, I have to see. 217 00:08:07,575 --> 00:08:09,543 Everything was open 'cause the place 218 00:08:09,577 --> 00:08:11,378 filled up with gas from the stove. 219 00:08:11,413 --> 00:08:14,214 I had to air it out or die. 220 00:08:14,249 --> 00:08:15,549 We got it off eventually. 221 00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:17,117 We? Who's we? 222 00:08:17,152 --> 00:08:18,452 Me and your guy. 223 00:08:18,486 --> 00:08:21,121 What guy? Oh, the guy with the beard. 224 00:08:21,156 --> 00:08:23,257 He was outside and asked if I needed help. 225 00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:24,258 So he helped. 226 00:08:24,292 --> 00:08:25,392 I don't have a guy. 227 00:08:25,427 --> 00:08:26,427 Then who the hell was that? 228 00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:28,295 I don't know. Maybe a stalker 229 00:08:28,329 --> 00:08:30,264 or Charlie manson's kid brher. 230 00:08:30,298 --> 00:08:32,433 I thought he was your guy. 231 00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:35,436 Boy, the beard made him seem so kind, 232 00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:36,437 like Lincoln. 233 00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:38,105 This place is a mess. 234 00:08:38,139 --> 00:08:39,273 It's 'cause I have too much stuff, 235 00:08:39,307 --> 00:08:40,541 and too little place. 236 00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:43,210 When joffrey is here it cannot be this way. 237 00:08:43,244 --> 00:08:44,478 I'll be a laughingstock. 238 00:08:44,512 --> 00:08:47,147 I have no kitchen. I've just discovered that. 239 00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,149 The fridge is hot, the stove is busted 240 00:08:49,184 --> 00:08:51,151 and I can't open three of the cupboard doors. 241 00:08:51,186 --> 00:08:53,153 This hasn't been a working kitchen for years. 242 00:08:53,188 --> 00:08:54,521 Well, can I borrow your kitchen? 243 00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:56,423 Why not? I mean, technically it's yours. 244 00:08:56,458 --> 00:08:59,193 No. It's yours. I'd just be borrowing it. 245 00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:01,228 Be my guest. Just don't come too early. 246 00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:02,463 Or I'll wake you up? Yes. 247 00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:03,530 That would be rude. 248 00:09:03,565 --> 00:09:05,065 Did you pack this? 249 00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,433 No, my dirty little landlord did. 250 00:09:06,468 --> 00:09:08,435 Well he has no respect for possessions. 251 00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:10,270 But he alphabetized my cds. 252 00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:11,371 That's weird, right? 253 00:09:11,406 --> 00:09:13,307 That sounds weird. 254 00:09:13,341 --> 00:09:16,477 I wouldn't wear any of this underwear until you wash it. 255 00:09:16,511 --> 00:09:17,544 Do you have hangers? 256 00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:19,179 In the armoire. 257 00:09:20,181 --> 00:09:22,149 You're very peppy Miller. 258 00:09:22,183 --> 00:09:23,484 I don't sleep much. 259 00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:26,153 But sleep is sublime! 260 00:09:26,187 --> 00:09:28,489 Oh, I sleep, but I only need two or three hours. 261 00:09:28,523 --> 00:09:30,124 And the middle of the night 262 00:09:30,158 --> 00:09:32,159 is the perfect time to get things done, 263 00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:36,196 when all the noises of the day have dissipated. Fanny, don't do that. 264 00:09:36,231 --> 00:09:38,432 I don't mind. No. I don't mean you don't have to do that. 265 00:09:38,466 --> 00:09:39,466 I mean, don't do that. 266 00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:41,201 But if you don't unpack, all your stuff 267 00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:42,536 will smell like box. 268 00:09:42,570 --> 00:09:44,404 Do you hang sweaters or fold them? 269 00:09:44,439 --> 00:09:45,439 Fold. 270 00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:49,243 This reminds me of when I first left home 271 00:09:49,277 --> 00:09:50,577 to study dance out of town. 272 00:09:50,579 --> 00:09:52,379 I was only 16. 273 00:09:52,413 --> 00:09:55,549 My god. Can you imagine? 16 and out of the house. 274 00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:58,385 The week before I left, my mother gave me this book, 275 00:09:58,419 --> 00:10:00,387 "how a young lady should do things." 276 00:10:00,421 --> 00:10:02,489 It was this ancient little tiny leathery thing. 277 00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:04,324 Sounds like my Vegas landlord. 278 00:10:04,359 --> 00:10:07,327 I read it cover to cover. A lot of it was corny and outofdate. 279 00:10:07,362 --> 00:10:11,098 I mean there was a chapter on how to look ladylike in a rumble seat. 280 00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,499 But it was charming too. 281 00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:15,269 I learned housekeeping, etiquette, 282 00:10:15,303 --> 00:10:17,137 the best packing rules. 283 00:10:18,473 --> 00:10:20,107 You have three tiaras. 284 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,275 Mmhmm. 285 00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:24,211 Why would anyone need one cheap party store tiara, 286 00:10:24,245 --> 00:10:26,380 let alone three? It is so too much the middle of the night 287 00:10:26,414 --> 00:10:28,282 to be sussing something like this out. 288 00:10:28,316 --> 00:10:30,150 This one still has a price tag on it. 289 00:10:30,185 --> 00:10:31,552 Good. I can return it. 290 00:10:31,586 --> 00:10:34,188 I will say it's nice to have someone to talk to. 291 00:10:34,222 --> 00:10:35,289 It's so quiet around here 292 00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:37,224 in the middle of the night. Mmm. 293 00:10:37,258 --> 00:10:39,159 Someone to talk to. 294 00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:35,354 There's room at the barre. 295 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,062 I'm good. 296 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,699 See the dancing show last night? 297 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,701 Yup. 298 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,036 I don't know who half the people are... 299 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,971 A bunch of washedup alcoholics. 300 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,740 Mmhmm. 301 00:11:48,654 --> 00:11:50,743 And we saw Michelle in her underwear. 302 00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:51,777 Wow. 303 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,980 Sorry to bother you. 304 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,720 Simple sandwiches... Nice variety 305 00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,721 and small. 306 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,657 These are for ballerinas and their moms. 307 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,691 No dagwoods. 308 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,561 You're grimacing. Why are you grimacing? 309 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:09,962 You know what weird? What? 310 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,798 I get hungover after nights I don't drink. 311 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,735 That is weird. I mean I got Jon bonham banging around up there. 312 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,571 I haven't had a drink since Thursday. 313 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,638 Maybe it's a sugar thing. 314 00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:20,639 Did you eat too much sugar? 315 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:21,807 I don't eat sugar. 316 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,909 Wait. 317 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,911 I did drink last night. 318 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,781 Good grief. And I had a candy bar. 319 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:31,016 So it was a combo. Could I get both of you 320 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,818 to focus please? 321 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,820 Sorry, Fanny. Yeah, I'm cool. Let's do this. 322 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:38,557 So on the sandwiches... keep the crusts, lose the crusts? 323 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,726 Lose them. It's classier, wait wait wait. I'm not cutting the crusts 324 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,995 off of anything, not again. I cut my finger last time. 325 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:45,030 So have someone else cut off the crusts. 326 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,732 Crusts are the best part. 327 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,900 Why would you cut off the crusts? 328 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,602 I like crusts too. 329 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,837 Rico, if you're not willing to do what I need you to do, 330 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,639 I will take my business elsewhere. 331 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,774 I'm cool with that. 332 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,010 Fine! Keep the crusts. 333 00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:01,747 Now, the salads. I need you to dress them lightly. 334 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,983 Last year it was as if you waterboarded them. 335 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,686 What's so funny? 336 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:10,522 "Waterboarded the salads," man. 337 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,625 That's sick. "Don't waterboard the salads." 338 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,692 Got it, Fanny. Good. 339 00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,595 Now. On to the welcome refreshments. 340 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,897 Those weren't the welcome refreshments? 341 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:18,998 Yeah. I thought those were 342 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,666 the welcome refreshments. 343 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,668 No, guys. Those were the afternoon snacks. 344 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:23,969 Aren't you listening? 345 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,705 I'm trying. How much are these people gonna eat? 346 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:29,642 Rico! How are you ever gonna make it as a caterer 347 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,809 with that sort of attitude? 348 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,811 I'm not trying to make it as a caterer. 349 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,813 I'm just gonna make you some sandwiches. 350 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,882 Oh drag! 351 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,985 We're still open. Aw, I'm dealing with Fanny here. 352 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,855 Nina, we're catering that thing again. 353 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,925 You're not a caterer. I told her I'm not a caterer. 354 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,660 He's not a caterer. 355 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,561 We're just trying to bank some extra scratch, 356 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:52,564 so we don't have to stay open seven days a week. 357 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,834 We're open seven days a week? 358 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,736 Who made that decision? 359 00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,706 I don't know. One of us at some point. 360 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,975 It's stupid. I know! 361 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,647 Of course! Lisa from the joffrey. 362 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,715 Now what? 363 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,983 Hello? 364 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,751 Yes, hello, Lisa. What's up? 365 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,823 I see. 366 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,591 Okay, uh... 367 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,962 Well, I can be back at the house in, oh, 10 minutes. 368 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,964 I'll read it and I'll call you back. 369 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,966 Thanks for the heads up. 370 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,734 Yeah. Bye now. 371 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,802 I have to go home. 372 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:30,970 Bad news? What'd she say? 373 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,738 She didn't. She just said they're sending 374 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:33,806 a fax. 375 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,575 And that's a bad thing? 376 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,810 I guess that's a bad thing. 377 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,912 Hey! Try to find out how hungry 378 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,747 they all think they're gonna be! 379 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,849 Five days! 380 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,751 Five days notice? Five days. 381 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,820 Five days. What am I supposed to do in five days? 382 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:48,988 I don't know. It's horrible. 383 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,556 It's horrible and insulting, 384 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,657 because this was on purpose. 385 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,559 Hey, Fanny, can i... Shhshhshhshh! 386 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,561 Okay? What's happening? 387 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,730 Joffrey sent 388 00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,532 a fax. Wow. 389 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,534 There's still fax machines? 390 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,603 Fanny, I know that this isn't the best time, 391 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:05,871 but it's kind of important. Sorry. 392 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,873 What? Is my toilet on a timer? 393 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,908 What? Well it only seems to work 394 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,577 at certain times of the day. 395 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:12,911 Like right now it's 11:30, 396 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:13,946 and it conked out again. 397 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,547 It did the same thing yesterday 398 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,949 at the exact same time... 11:30. 399 00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,851 This is the worst possible moment 400 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,519 to be talking about your toilet. 401 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,720 Well, there's never really a good time 402 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,523 to discuss a toilet, in my experience. 403 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,591 What's wrong, Fanny? 404 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,627 The joffrey has sent a fax. 405 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,530 The fax being their bombdropping vehicle of choice. 406 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,799 What's it say? They're cancelling the auditions. 407 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,734 Oh... oh my god! Those poor girls. 408 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:36,969 They've been preparing for weeks. 409 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,871 Are they just doing away with the summer program? 410 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,606 No, they're still holding the auditions, 411 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,508 but they're holding them somewhere else. 412 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:43,976 Oh wow... Short notice! Why? 413 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,978 Read for yourself. 414 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,647 "Dear Fanny, once again, it's been a pleasure working 415 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,550 with you on the 2012 joffrey summer program auditions 416 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,786 for Southern California, and we hope this letter finds you well. 417 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,522 We were wondering if you could provide an update on the state 418 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:57,823 of the wood floor in the dance studio. 419 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,725 It's our last piece of outstanding business. 420 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,894 In advance, we thank you." Et cetera, et cetera. 421 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,829 I'm confused. What's the problem? 422 00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:06,498 What's the problem? What's the problem? 423 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,500 They just lopped my head off... "Game of thrones." 424 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:09,868 with no warning. Nedstarked her. 425 00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:12,738 I'm rereading. I see nothing about a head, a guillotine, 426 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,540 an evil boy king with mommy issues. 427 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:15,541 I'm behind here. 428 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,909 They've cancelled on me. 429 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:19,478 It says nothing about cancellation! 430 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:20,612 Well, you don't speak joffrey. 431 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:21,780 That's what it says! 432 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,516 I disagree. Truly, be the tiebreaker here. 433 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,752 Oh, no. I'm no good at breaking ties. 434 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,720 I'm good at being in the majority 435 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,722 after the majority has already voted, 436 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,724 so I can see which way things are gonna go. 437 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,494 That's... my thing. 438 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,729 12 years I've hosted these auditions, 439 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,898 only to be jettisoned like a used tire. 440 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:40,899 Did I deserve this? 441 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,534 No! I don't know. I mean no. 442 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:45,671 Of course not. 443 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,708 Hey, do you do curtains? 444 00:17:40,883 --> 00:17:41,916 All right, let's see. 445 00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:44,919 French, German, Asian language, 446 00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:47,755 Chinese, Spanish. Where's English? 447 00:17:47,789 --> 00:17:48,890 English. 448 00:17:50,893 --> 00:17:52,894 All right. 449 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,206 Come on. 450 00:18:27,195 --> 00:18:29,130 You're better than this. 451 00:18:29,164 --> 00:18:31,832 There is no English! There is no English! 452 00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:46,047 I hate that you're giving me the runaround like this. 453 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:47,982 Because I'm getting the runaround. 454 00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:50,985 That's why I'm complaining about getting the runaround. 455 00:18:51,019 --> 00:18:53,054 Now, sweetie, saying you don't mean to be giving me the runaround 456 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,989 doesn't mean it's not happening. 457 00:18:55,023 --> 00:18:57,224 You sound young. How young are you? 458 00:18:57,259 --> 00:18:58,993 19? 459 00:18:59,027 --> 00:19:00,962 And you're Lisa's assistant? 460 00:19:00,996 --> 00:19:02,697 You're not Lisa's assistant. 461 00:19:02,731 --> 00:19:04,799 Then who are you? 462 00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:06,033 I'm talking to an intern. 463 00:19:06,068 --> 00:19:08,703 Why didn't you tell me you were an intern? 464 00:19:08,737 --> 00:19:10,972 No, identifying yourself is part of your job, 465 00:19:11,006 --> 00:19:14,775 along with sharpening pencils and fetching frappuccinos. 466 00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:17,044 Now have someone who's at least two notches above you 467 00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:19,947 and born in the last century, call me back quickly. 468 00:19:19,982 --> 00:19:21,148 Please. Goodbye. 469 00:19:22,284 --> 00:19:24,919 Sounds tense. What do you need? 470 00:19:24,953 --> 00:19:26,988 I just wanted to sneak in and grab the toolbox. 471 00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:28,222 I'm having a little curtain rod trouble. 472 00:19:28,256 --> 00:19:30,157 It's where it always is. 473 00:19:30,192 --> 00:19:32,159 Oh. By the way, I think I figured out 474 00:19:32,194 --> 00:19:33,995 why Sylvia plath killed herself. 475 00:19:34,029 --> 00:19:35,997 She was trying to hang a curtain rod. 476 00:19:36,031 --> 00:19:37,932 She probably tried to hang herself on the curtain rod, 477 00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:39,406 but it broke, so it was on to plan b. 478 00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:43,037 So, really bad call? 479 00:19:43,071 --> 00:19:45,139 It's over. Joffrey's moving the auditions. 480 00:19:45,173 --> 00:19:46,807 You're kidding? Where? 481 00:19:46,842 --> 00:19:48,976 Ojai. Ohio? Really? 482 00:19:49,011 --> 00:19:50,978 Not Ohio... Ojai. 483 00:19:51,013 --> 00:19:53,981 It's that slum 30 miles north of here. 484 00:19:54,016 --> 00:19:56,984 You can all go. We've done enough for today. 485 00:19:57,019 --> 00:19:59,153 But we never even started. 486 00:19:59,187 --> 00:20:00,821 Go! 487 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,158 It's the kidnapping capital of California. 488 00:20:04,192 --> 00:20:05,826 What is? Ojai. 489 00:20:05,861 --> 00:20:06,994 They mistreat animals too. 490 00:20:07,029 --> 00:20:10,031 Oh, that Kelly breen. That evil Kelly breen. 491 00:20:10,065 --> 00:20:12,967 Joffrey lady? Owns the dance studio in Ojai. 492 00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:14,969 She's been lobbying for this every year, 493 00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:16,804 and she finally got her way. 494 00:20:16,838 --> 00:20:18,806 She almost got it last year, but then that flood hit them 495 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,241 and all those people died, and so she lost out. 496 00:20:20,275 --> 00:20:21,909 Close call. 497 00:20:21,943 --> 00:20:23,844 It was a close call. 498 00:20:23,879 --> 00:20:26,080 So wait? Ojai. 499 00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:27,248 You know, now that I think about it, 500 00:20:27,282 --> 00:20:29,183 I've heard really good things about that place. 501 00:20:29,217 --> 00:20:32,019 Impossible. It's dirty and all the people are high 502 00:20:32,054 --> 00:20:33,821 on mushrooms and wear sandals. 503 00:20:33,855 --> 00:20:35,823 No, on TV. I saw this whole thing about it 504 00:20:35,857 --> 00:20:37,091 on "Samantha brown." 505 00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:39,093 Oh, she was walking around this great spa. 506 00:20:39,127 --> 00:20:42,830 Getting seaweed wraps, playing golf on this gorgeous course. 507 00:20:42,864 --> 00:20:45,099 And at pink hour, they served a giant platter of shrimp. 508 00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:46,867 I don't know who this Samantha brown is, 509 00:20:46,902 --> 00:20:47,902 but she sounds like an idiot. 510 00:20:47,936 --> 00:20:49,070 No no no, she's this exactress 511 00:20:49,104 --> 00:20:50,905 and now she has this travel show 512 00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:52,073 and she gets to go to fun places. 513 00:20:52,107 --> 00:20:54,008 Well, she's obviously a very good actress 514 00:20:54,042 --> 00:20:55,242 if she made you believe she liked Ojai, 515 00:20:55,277 --> 00:20:56,944 because Ojai is a pit! 516 00:20:56,978 --> 00:20:58,179 No, she doesn't act on her show, 517 00:20:58,213 --> 00:20:59,980 it's just her walking around places. 518 00:21:00,015 --> 00:21:02,083 I don't want to talk about this woman anymore. 519 00:21:02,117 --> 00:21:03,818 Or Ojai. 520 00:21:03,852 --> 00:21:05,252 I think I'm missing something here. 521 00:21:05,287 --> 00:21:07,088 The girls still get to audition, right? 522 00:21:07,122 --> 00:21:08,889 Ojai's not that far. 523 00:21:08,924 --> 00:21:10,057 Of course they can audition. 524 00:21:10,092 --> 00:21:12,059 I won't be there, but they can be. 525 00:21:12,094 --> 00:21:15,963 They why? Why is it so important that they're held here? 526 00:21:15,997 --> 00:21:17,131 It's so much work. 527 00:21:17,165 --> 00:21:19,133 You really don't get it, do you? 528 00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:21,068 But I do. 529 00:21:21,103 --> 00:21:22,236 All right, the floor is a little funky. 530 00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:24,805 There's loose boards, it needs a sanding, 531 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,140 and they want it fixed. So if you want 532 00:21:26,174 --> 00:21:27,975 the auditions here so damn much, 533 00:21:28,009 --> 00:21:29,143 fix the damn floors. 534 00:21:29,177 --> 00:21:30,978 Oh. 535 00:21:31,012 --> 00:21:32,980 Fix it! 536 00:21:33,014 --> 00:21:34,982 Why didn't I think of that? 537 00:21:35,016 --> 00:21:36,817 Fix the floor. 538 00:21:36,852 --> 00:21:38,219 Pay the money to get someone 539 00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:40,154 to come in and fix the floor. 540 00:21:40,188 --> 00:21:42,156 Yes. Okay! 541 00:21:42,190 --> 00:21:45,159 Well, I'll just go out back to the barn 542 00:21:45,193 --> 00:21:47,061 and get my goose that lays the golden eggs 543 00:21:47,095 --> 00:21:49,063 and I'll squeeze one of those little suckers out of her... 544 00:21:49,097 --> 00:21:50,965 One should do it. Or wait, 545 00:21:50,999 --> 00:21:52,166 how about this? 546 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,002 I'll wait for the magical rainbow that will lead me 547 00:21:55,036 --> 00:21:56,804 to where the sprightly elf 548 00:21:56,838 --> 00:21:57,972 has hidden the pot of gold. 549 00:21:58,006 --> 00:22:00,007 And I'll grab those gold coins 550 00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:01,842 and whatever other treasure he has... 551 00:22:01,877 --> 00:22:03,778 Maybe a crown or some ingots... 552 00:22:03,812 --> 00:22:05,780 And then I'll have the money to fix the floor. 553 00:22:05,814 --> 00:22:08,182 I'm picking up a wee bit of snark here, 554 00:22:08,216 --> 00:22:09,917 so I'm going to take my toolbox 555 00:22:09,951 --> 00:22:11,852 and leave you to spiral down the rabbit hole 556 00:22:11,887 --> 00:22:13,788 you've jumped into. Send a postcard! 557 00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:25,417 Great. Perfect. 558 00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:28,245 Your timing is perfect! 559 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,981 Geez. My point shoes are broken. 560 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,817 Broken. There's no way 561 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:34,491 I'm getting through the joffrey auditions. 562 00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:36,263 So buy another pair. 563 00:22:36,298 --> 00:22:38,199 Buy another pair. That's genius. 564 00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:40,467 A really genius idea. Thanks for that. 565 00:22:40,502 --> 00:22:42,603 I just meant... It doesn't matter. 566 00:22:42,637 --> 00:22:44,505 Just ask your mom. 567 00:22:44,539 --> 00:22:47,441 My mom just bought me these two months ago. 568 00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:49,176 There's no way she's going to spring 569 00:22:49,211 --> 00:22:50,511 for a brandnew pair now. 570 00:22:50,545 --> 00:22:52,279 Just for the auditions? 571 00:22:52,314 --> 00:22:53,347 Especially since she thinks 572 00:22:53,381 --> 00:22:54,481 there's no way I'm getting in. 573 00:22:54,516 --> 00:22:56,483 That's not true. It's completely true! 574 00:22:56,518 --> 00:22:58,586 She thinks I'm a loser, and that I'm totally 575 00:22:58,620 --> 00:23:01,188 gonna crap out along with everybody else in this place. 576 00:23:01,223 --> 00:23:02,523 She didn't say that. She didn't have to. 577 00:23:02,557 --> 00:23:04,491 The cake did. What cake? 578 00:23:04,526 --> 00:23:06,393 The cake in the fridge with the frosting that says, 579 00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:07,494 "better luck next year!" 580 00:23:07,529 --> 00:23:10,164 With a stupid exclamation point at the end. 581 00:23:10,198 --> 00:23:11,599 She probably buys them in bulk. 582 00:23:11,633 --> 00:23:13,334 Look, your mom is just... 583 00:23:13,368 --> 00:23:16,370 Don't say anything about my mom. 584 00:23:22,611 --> 00:23:24,478 Wow, truly. These curtains... they're great. 585 00:23:24,512 --> 00:23:26,213 I'm happy with them. 586 00:23:26,248 --> 00:23:28,382 I mean we didn't even discuss color or style, 587 00:23:28,416 --> 00:23:29,550 but it's as if we did. 588 00:23:29,584 --> 00:23:30,618 They're exactly what I want. 589 00:23:30,652 --> 00:23:32,453 I know. But how do you know? 590 00:23:32,487 --> 00:23:34,221 How do you know what I want? 591 00:23:34,256 --> 00:23:35,389 I've always been able to tell exactly 592 00:23:35,423 --> 00:23:37,258 what everybody wants, except for me. 593 00:23:38,260 --> 00:23:39,460 Well, they're perfect. 594 00:23:39,494 --> 00:23:41,395 Really. Unfortunately, hanging them's 595 00:23:41,429 --> 00:23:42,630 out of the question. Why? 596 00:23:42,664 --> 00:23:45,633 Ah, I had a little disagreement with the tension rods. 597 00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:47,568 Big emphasis on the word "tension." 598 00:23:47,602 --> 00:23:49,403 I don't if al qaeda has heard of these things, 599 00:23:49,437 --> 00:23:51,405 but mailing one to every household in America 600 00:23:51,439 --> 00:23:53,440 would bring us to our knees. 601 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,475 What are those? 602 00:23:55,610 --> 00:23:58,245 Curtain rods. Wow, they're perfect. 603 00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,546 You really do know everything about everyone 604 00:23:59,581 --> 00:24:01,382 except yourself. 605 00:24:01,416 --> 00:24:03,450 Anything you need me to help you out with, 606 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:06,453 or if you need me to be nurse Jackie with the tools, 607 00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,289 passing them up to you, I'm at the ready. 608 00:24:08,323 --> 00:24:10,357 Could you get me a pen so I can mark for a screw? 609 00:24:10,392 --> 00:24:13,193 Absolutely. Pen pen pen pen pen pen 610 00:24:13,228 --> 00:24:14,528 pen pen pen pen pen pen. 611 00:24:14,562 --> 00:24:16,297 I do not have a pen. 612 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,465 They all got lost in the great Vegas furniture onslaught 613 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,367 of 2012. 614 00:24:20,402 --> 00:24:21,568 I'll make do. Yeah. 615 00:24:26,641 --> 00:24:28,509 So how's that Fanny doing? 616 00:24:28,543 --> 00:24:30,477 You unlucky enough to get in her path lately? 617 00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:32,313 I haven't seen her. Well, I have, 618 00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:33,347 and my ears are still ringing. 619 00:24:33,381 --> 00:24:35,149 She lost her mind in the studio. 620 00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:37,484 It was crazy. She's definitely on edge these days. 621 00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:39,586 I know, but I'm wondering if she hasn't 622 00:24:39,621 --> 00:24:41,588 lost perspective on all this. 623 00:24:41,623 --> 00:24:43,257 Can you pass me the Phillips head. 624 00:24:43,291 --> 00:24:44,425 Uh, sure. 625 00:24:44,459 --> 00:24:47,161 I mean she's hosted them for so many years. 626 00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:48,562 She's done it. It's time to relax. 627 00:24:48,596 --> 00:24:50,197 Do you know which one the Phillips head is? 628 00:24:50,231 --> 00:24:52,299 Uh, yeah. It's the... 629 00:24:52,334 --> 00:24:55,369 No. Just bring me what you find. 630 00:24:55,403 --> 00:24:57,204 Plus the money. I mean, she pays 631 00:24:57,238 --> 00:24:58,539 for all these improvements on the property, 632 00:24:58,573 --> 00:25:00,441 so she's actually losing money on the thing. 633 00:25:00,475 --> 00:25:01,575 Flathead. Phillips head. 634 00:25:01,609 --> 00:25:03,143 Who's Phillip? I don't know. 635 00:25:03,178 --> 00:25:04,578 And hey, 636 00:25:04,612 --> 00:25:07,314 bottom line... It's about the girls. 637 00:25:07,349 --> 00:25:08,415 This is for them. 638 00:25:08,450 --> 00:25:10,551 Can I just say something about all of this? 639 00:25:10,585 --> 00:25:13,554 Yes. Please. You know Fanny's story, right? 640 00:25:13,588 --> 00:25:14,588 The gist of it. 641 00:25:16,358 --> 00:25:18,158 Fanny started dancing at four. 642 00:25:18,193 --> 00:25:19,460 She was en pointe at age 9, 643 00:25:19,494 --> 00:25:21,528 won her first dance competition at age 10. 644 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:25,132 She was invited to dance at ballet de russe de monte Carlo at age 16. 645 00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:26,500 Fanny was a professional at an age 646 00:25:26,534 --> 00:25:28,168 where you and I were mastering the curling iron 647 00:25:28,203 --> 00:25:29,503 and writing fan letters to Jason priestly. 648 00:25:29,537 --> 00:25:31,238 He was handsome. He still is. 649 00:25:31,272 --> 00:25:32,573 Yeah. Fanny could have gone 650 00:25:32,607 --> 00:25:34,341 anywhere she wanted to go, 651 00:25:34,376 --> 00:25:35,409 then she fell in love. 652 00:25:35,443 --> 00:25:37,144 Got pregnant. 653 00:25:37,178 --> 00:25:38,479 She was gonna go back, but she never did. 654 00:25:38,513 --> 00:25:40,481 She gave it up, so... 655 00:25:40,515 --> 00:25:42,583 This studio, these girls, 656 00:25:42,617 --> 00:25:44,585 her teaching, her business, 657 00:25:44,619 --> 00:25:47,421 her reputation... 658 00:25:47,455 --> 00:25:48,522 This is all she has. 659 00:25:50,525 --> 00:25:52,326 Yeah. 660 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:53,527 I guess so. 661 00:25:55,363 --> 00:25:58,165 I took a big chunk of my blue paint out 662 00:25:58,199 --> 00:25:59,466 when I was trying to put the tension rod up, 663 00:25:59,501 --> 00:26:01,535 so I'll need to get some to match. 664 00:26:01,569 --> 00:26:03,170 You are good. 665 00:26:11,479 --> 00:26:12,479 Mom. 666 00:26:36,965 --> 00:26:38,699 Hi. I'm Michelle Simms. 667 00:26:49,944 --> 00:26:51,912 ♪ Me and my baby 668 00:26:51,946 --> 00:26:53,880 ♪ my baby and me 669 00:26:53,915 --> 00:26:57,651 ♪ we're 'bout as happy as babies can be ♪ 670 00:26:57,685 --> 00:26:59,619 ♪ What if I find that 671 00:26:59,654 --> 00:27:01,621 ♪ I'm caught in a storm? 672 00:27:01,656 --> 00:27:02,956 ♪ I don't care, if baby's there ♪ 673 00:27:02,991 --> 00:27:04,958 ♪ Then baby's bound to keep me warm ♪ 674 00:27:04,993 --> 00:27:06,860 ♪ We're sticking together 675 00:27:06,894 --> 00:27:08,862 ♪ and ain't we got fun? 676 00:27:08,896 --> 00:27:10,764 ♪ So much together 677 00:27:10,798 --> 00:27:12,766 ♪ they count us as one 678 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,668 ♪ tell old man worry 679 00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:16,003 ♪ to go climb a tree 680 00:27:16,037 --> 00:27:18,005 ♪ 'cause I got my baby 681 00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:20,574 ♪ my sweet little baby 682 00:27:20,608 --> 00:27:22,843 ♪ look at my baby and me. 683 00:27:29,617 --> 00:27:30,884 You want me to do it again? 684 00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:33,620 No. 685 00:29:05,012 --> 00:29:06,980 Good to see you. Yeah, you too. 686 00:29:07,014 --> 00:29:08,582 We'll do it again. 687 00:29:11,586 --> 00:29:13,720 Ah. Hey, I love that. 688 00:29:13,754 --> 00:29:14,988 You have one of those welcome bells. 689 00:29:15,022 --> 00:29:16,690 Very mayberry. 690 00:29:16,724 --> 00:29:17,724 Can we help you? 691 00:29:17,758 --> 00:29:19,793 Yes. Hi, my name is Michelle. 692 00:29:20,795 --> 00:29:22,596 Bob. Don. 693 00:29:22,630 --> 00:29:24,531 Bob and don. Nice to meet you. 694 00:29:24,565 --> 00:29:25,866 So I am new in town. 695 00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:27,767 I moved here about a month ago or so. 696 00:29:27,802 --> 00:29:29,769 And I'm at the flowers place on forster. 697 00:29:29,804 --> 00:29:31,705 Do you know it? Sure. Fanny's place. 698 00:29:31,739 --> 00:29:33,640 Right. Fanny's place. 699 00:29:33,674 --> 00:29:35,008 And so now I'm there with Fanny, 700 00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:36,877 and she has that dance studio. 701 00:29:36,911 --> 00:29:37,878 And there's an event coming up 702 00:29:37,912 --> 00:29:39,813 for which we need your expertise. 703 00:29:39,847 --> 00:29:40,981 My niece takes classes there. 704 00:29:41,015 --> 00:29:42,716 Katrina. Nice. 705 00:29:42,750 --> 00:29:44,551 Don't know her. But there's a connection here. 706 00:29:44,585 --> 00:29:46,553 That's good. So the event 707 00:29:46,587 --> 00:29:49,656 is the prestigious joffrey summer program auditions, 708 00:29:49,690 --> 00:29:50,891 and we need help with our dance floor. 709 00:29:50,925 --> 00:29:51,992 We're got some loose boards, 710 00:29:52,026 --> 00:29:53,593 it needs a sanding, buffing. 711 00:29:53,628 --> 00:29:54,761 And according to your website, 712 00:29:54,795 --> 00:29:55,962 you offer those services. 713 00:29:55,997 --> 00:29:57,664 We're at your disposal. 714 00:29:57,698 --> 00:29:59,566 Yeah, we can get a couple guys out there in an hour. 715 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,568 When do you need 'em? Now. Yesterday. 716 00:30:01,602 --> 00:30:02,802 This is great. Thank you. 717 00:30:02,837 --> 00:30:04,871 We'll just come out and assess everything first. 718 00:30:04,906 --> 00:30:06,873 And then we just need 50% up front, 719 00:30:06,908 --> 00:30:10,043 and we can get started. Ah, there's the rub. 720 00:30:10,077 --> 00:30:12,579 We don't have the 50% right now. 721 00:30:12,613 --> 00:30:14,681 Ah well. That could be a problem. 722 00:30:14,715 --> 00:30:16,917 But you know what? Why don't you give me a ballpark figure 723 00:30:16,951 --> 00:30:18,018 of what the cost is? 724 00:30:18,052 --> 00:30:20,053 And maybe we do have the 50%. 725 00:30:20,087 --> 00:30:21,721 Well, let's see. 726 00:30:21,756 --> 00:30:24,057 Uh, we replace even just a few of the boards, 727 00:30:24,091 --> 00:30:25,659 the sanding, the whole thing, 728 00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:26,960 that's about 700 square feet or so. 729 00:30:26,994 --> 00:30:28,028 I'd say eight. 730 00:30:28,062 --> 00:30:29,696 And doing the finish... 731 00:30:29,730 --> 00:30:30,931 The coats and all... It'll be at least 732 00:30:30,965 --> 00:30:32,899 $2200. Or more. 733 00:30:32,934 --> 00:30:34,668 Yeah, we don't have the 50%. 734 00:30:34,702 --> 00:30:36,836 We might have 10% of the 50%. 735 00:30:36,871 --> 00:30:38,071 Would that make this happen? I can't do it. 736 00:30:38,105 --> 00:30:39,806 I gotta get my guys paid. 737 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,641 And the balance is due on completion. 738 00:30:41,676 --> 00:30:44,010 So you should kinda have 100% of it now. 739 00:30:44,045 --> 00:30:46,680 Right. Fair enough. Fair enough. 740 00:30:46,714 --> 00:30:48,682 Oh hey! I didn't think of this before. 741 00:30:48,716 --> 00:30:49,783 Do you guys do layaway? 742 00:30:49,817 --> 00:30:50,850 Uh... See, when I was a kid, 743 00:30:50,885 --> 00:30:52,919 there was this store called contempo casuals, 744 00:30:52,954 --> 00:30:55,855 and you could put a really cute outfit on layaway in June, 745 00:30:55,890 --> 00:30:57,090 for say, three months. And as long as 746 00:30:57,124 --> 00:30:58,692 you didn't get fat by September, 747 00:30:58,726 --> 00:30:59,726 you'd have a really cute outfit. 748 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,000 When do you pay for the outfit? 749 00:31:01,028 --> 00:31:02,629 When you pick it up in September. 750 00:31:02,663 --> 00:31:03,964 It's a fall outfit. I'm not sure how 751 00:31:03,998 --> 00:31:05,865 that corresponds to us to fixing that floor. 752 00:31:05,900 --> 00:31:07,867 Yeah, 'cause when we fix it and are done, 753 00:31:07,902 --> 00:31:10,036 it's the same as you paying for the dress. 754 00:31:10,071 --> 00:31:11,838 You pay when you get the thing. 755 00:31:11,872 --> 00:31:13,006 That's one way of looking at it. 756 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,674 The other way of looking at it is... 757 00:31:14,709 --> 00:31:15,842 It's fun! 758 00:31:15,876 --> 00:31:17,577 Sorry. 759 00:31:17,612 --> 00:31:18,745 Okay. 760 00:31:18,779 --> 00:31:20,780 I took a shot. Thanks for your time. 761 00:31:31,759 --> 00:31:33,059 Bob, right? Yup. 762 00:31:33,094 --> 00:31:34,828 Bob... Short for Robert? 763 00:31:34,862 --> 00:31:36,830 It's a nice, solid name. 764 00:31:36,864 --> 00:31:38,665 I like this vest too. 765 00:31:38,699 --> 00:31:40,600 Says workin' man. 766 00:31:40,635 --> 00:31:42,669 Strong workin' man. 767 00:31:42,703 --> 00:31:43,837 Knows his Phillips heads. 768 00:31:43,871 --> 00:31:44,871 You need something else? 769 00:31:44,905 --> 00:31:46,039 Yes. Bob, 770 00:31:46,073 --> 00:31:48,775 you are looking at a damsel in distress. 771 00:31:48,809 --> 00:31:50,877 She is desperately in need of a knight 772 00:31:50,911 --> 00:31:52,712 to come and rescue her... 773 00:31:52,747 --> 00:31:54,881 White horse optional. 774 00:31:54,915 --> 00:31:56,049 Be my knight, Bob. 775 00:31:56,083 --> 00:31:57,951 I'm sorry. We can't extend credit. 776 00:31:57,985 --> 00:31:58,985 Nothing personal. 777 00:32:00,021 --> 00:32:02,022 Yeah, yeah. I get it. 778 00:32:08,062 --> 00:32:09,763 Don, right? 779 00:32:09,797 --> 00:32:10,997 Short for Donald. 780 00:32:11,032 --> 00:32:12,632 Donick, actually. 781 00:32:12,667 --> 00:32:14,034 Even better. 782 00:32:14,068 --> 00:32:15,035 No vest for you, huh? 783 00:32:15,069 --> 00:32:17,070 We can't help you. Okay. 784 00:32:20,708 --> 00:32:22,709 So... 785 00:32:22,743 --> 00:32:24,644 No one wants to do me or your floors. 786 00:32:24,679 --> 00:32:26,980 What are you talking about? Is there a libido issue in this area? 787 00:32:27,014 --> 00:32:27,981 Has something in the water 788 00:32:28,015 --> 00:32:29,616 killed off all the testosterone 789 00:32:29,650 --> 00:32:31,651 in the town of paradise? Or have I very suddenly lost 790 00:32:31,686 --> 00:32:33,820 all my skills to seduce? Who are you trying to seduce? 791 00:32:33,854 --> 00:32:35,655 The hardware store guys. Bob and don? 792 00:32:35,690 --> 00:32:37,624 Yes. Fat Bob and skinny don? 793 00:32:37,658 --> 00:32:38,658 Bob had a tummy, yes. 794 00:32:38,693 --> 00:32:40,727 Bob and don?! Bob and don, yes! 795 00:32:40,761 --> 00:32:42,796 For sex? No! To do our floors. 796 00:32:42,830 --> 00:32:44,964 I strutted my stuff a little bit to get them to do it on layaway 797 00:32:44,999 --> 00:32:47,000 like contempo casuals, and they turned their backs. 798 00:32:47,034 --> 00:32:48,902 Will I ever be able to go in that store again? 799 00:32:48,936 --> 00:32:50,003 I'd give it some time. 800 00:32:51,806 --> 00:32:53,740 This is a weirdass chair. 801 00:32:53,774 --> 00:32:55,975 Why are you suddenly involving yourself with my floors? 802 00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:57,577 Because I've made it my mission. 803 00:32:57,611 --> 00:32:58,745 And when I make something my mission, 804 00:32:58,779 --> 00:33:00,680 I don't rest until it's mission accomplished. 805 00:33:00,715 --> 00:33:02,515 I'm going to get those floors fixed. 806 00:33:02,550 --> 00:33:03,717 I'm going to get the auditions back. 807 00:33:03,751 --> 00:33:05,819 It's too late. It's not too late. 808 00:33:05,853 --> 00:33:08,922 Fix the floors, show joffrey the Ojai stats on animal abuse, 809 00:33:08,956 --> 00:33:10,724 and mushroom consumption. We'll get 'em back! 810 00:33:10,758 --> 00:33:12,892 I still don't understand why... I did some research. 811 00:33:12,927 --> 00:33:15,729 I found an Internet cafe, went online, found a town... 812 00:33:15,763 --> 00:33:16,963 A bigger town north of here 813 00:33:16,997 --> 00:33:19,532 with multiple resources for fixing a dance floor. 814 00:33:19,567 --> 00:33:20,900 Friendlylooking guys featured in the ads. 815 00:33:20,935 --> 00:33:22,502 Can't tell how horny they are, 816 00:33:22,536 --> 00:33:23,570 but I'll find out when I get there! 817 00:33:23,604 --> 00:33:25,572 What town? Oh, it's a weird name, 818 00:33:25,606 --> 00:33:27,741 like a joke name... Almost a dirty name. 819 00:33:27,775 --> 00:33:28,842 Oxnard. 820 00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:30,877 Now get in the car. We're driving to oxnard. 821 00:33:30,911 --> 00:33:32,879 I've spent my whole life avoiding oxnard. 822 00:33:32,913 --> 00:33:34,748 So you know it? Of course I know it. 823 00:33:34,782 --> 00:33:37,751 Well, we are both oxnardbound and I am willing to flirt 824 00:33:37,785 --> 00:33:40,754 with multiple oxnardians, because joffrey's not going to Ojai! 825 00:33:40,788 --> 00:33:41,921 Times a wastin.' 826 00:33:41,956 --> 00:33:43,957 this is ridiculous. I'm on a mission. 827 00:33:54,769 --> 00:33:55,835 What are these? 828 00:33:55,870 --> 00:33:57,570 My lame dad got them for me. 829 00:33:57,605 --> 00:33:58,671 They're totally wrong, and I just thought 830 00:33:58,706 --> 00:33:59,706 maybe you'd want them. 831 00:33:59,740 --> 00:34:00,774 Oh my god. They're brandnew. 832 00:34:00,808 --> 00:34:01,941 I never wore them. 833 00:34:01,976 --> 00:34:03,943 They're my size. Yeah, he's an idiot. 834 00:34:03,978 --> 00:34:05,478 He bought them way too big. 835 00:34:05,513 --> 00:34:06,679 Three sizes too big? 836 00:34:06,714 --> 00:34:07,847 Yeah, that's the thing, right? I mean, what? 837 00:34:07,882 --> 00:34:09,549 He's walking down an aisle of dancewear 838 00:34:09,583 --> 00:34:10,784 and he has a stroke or something? 839 00:34:10,818 --> 00:34:11,951 But your dad buys everything for you. 840 00:34:11,986 --> 00:34:13,653 Why would he sudden... Look, throw them out, 841 00:34:13,687 --> 00:34:14,687 set 'em on fire, whatever. 842 00:34:14,722 --> 00:34:15,989 I just don't need 'em, okay? 843 00:34:24,732 --> 00:34:26,933 Almost there. Good. 844 00:34:26,967 --> 00:34:29,702 Best view of oxnard is in the rearview mirror. 845 00:34:29,737 --> 00:34:31,538 Ah, you should tweet that. 846 00:34:31,572 --> 00:34:32,605 I don't do that. 847 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:33,606 Me neither. 848 00:34:33,641 --> 00:34:34,774 I do. 849 00:34:34,809 --> 00:34:35,809 You tweet? 850 00:34:35,843 --> 00:34:37,510 That's surprising to me. 851 00:34:37,545 --> 00:34:39,579 Yeah, it's a good way to keep in touch with family. 852 00:34:39,613 --> 00:34:42,615 You know, keep 'em posted on your comings and goings. 853 00:34:42,650 --> 00:34:43,783 Right. 854 00:34:43,818 --> 00:34:44,818 I usually think of it 855 00:34:44,852 --> 00:34:46,653 as just something celebrities do. 856 00:34:46,687 --> 00:34:48,655 Makes sense though. 857 00:34:48,689 --> 00:34:50,857 Okay. This is it. 858 00:34:56,597 --> 00:34:58,665 Wow, nice space. 859 00:34:58,699 --> 00:34:59,699 There's the wood you ordered, 860 00:34:59,733 --> 00:35:00,867 all stacked up. 861 00:35:00,901 --> 00:35:02,902 There's a bathroom upstairs. 862 00:35:02,937 --> 00:35:04,904 I'll bring some soda and snacks out for you. 863 00:35:04,939 --> 00:35:06,773 I'll get started right now. 864 00:35:09,510 --> 00:35:10,710 This is weird. 865 00:35:10,744 --> 00:35:12,745 Why? He's qualified. We don't even know his name. 866 00:35:12,780 --> 00:35:14,647 Floyd. It's Floyd. Last name? 867 00:35:14,682 --> 00:35:16,749 He said it at one point... Prelutsky or something like that. 868 00:35:16,784 --> 00:35:17,917 Okay. We're fine vetters. 869 00:35:17,952 --> 00:35:19,486 They should put us in charge of finding 870 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,653 vicepresidential candidates. 871 00:35:20,688 --> 00:35:21,821 We don't need to know his last name. 872 00:35:21,856 --> 00:35:23,490 He was just so available. 873 00:35:23,524 --> 00:35:24,591 I don't like that. 874 00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:25,825 Oh, is that how you judge things like this? 875 00:35:25,860 --> 00:35:27,660 If people are willing to do what you want them to do, 876 00:35:27,695 --> 00:35:28,828 then you don't want them? No. 877 00:35:28,863 --> 00:35:30,497 It's just he was our fourth choice. 878 00:35:30,531 --> 00:35:31,598 What is it with floor guys? 879 00:35:31,632 --> 00:35:32,665 They don't like you, that's for sure. 880 00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:34,501 I think it's the California coast. 881 00:35:34,535 --> 00:35:36,503 For some reason, I'm not hot in California. 882 00:35:36,537 --> 00:35:38,838 Especially oxnard. Ugh. Oxnard. 883 00:35:38,873 --> 00:35:40,507 Told you. 884 00:35:40,541 --> 00:35:41,941 So how much is Floyd getting? 885 00:35:41,976 --> 00:35:45,778 Nothing. We talked and he's gonna let me pay him later. 886 00:35:45,813 --> 00:35:48,648 Did you seduce him, Mrs. Robinson? 887 00:35:48,682 --> 00:35:50,650 To do a degree. Coo coo ca choo. 888 00:35:50,684 --> 00:35:51,851 It's not like that. 889 00:35:51,886 --> 00:35:53,686 What is Floyd expecting? 890 00:35:53,721 --> 00:35:54,854 To fix the floors, sleep on our cot 891 00:35:54,889 --> 00:35:56,923 and leave in the morning... Nothing else. 892 00:35:56,957 --> 00:35:58,925 Okay. Got it. 893 00:35:58,959 --> 00:36:00,560 Sleep with a baseball bat. 894 00:36:00,594 --> 00:36:02,462 Young lady, when you get to be my age, 895 00:36:02,496 --> 00:36:04,831 you know how to lead a man on, get him to do what you want, 896 00:36:04,865 --> 00:36:07,500 give him nothing and send him crying back to his wife. 897 00:36:07,535 --> 00:36:10,503 Okay. Just... Be safe. 898 00:36:10,538 --> 00:36:11,738 As long as he does the floors. 899 00:36:11,772 --> 00:36:12,872 And not you. 900 00:36:17,465 --> 00:36:19,178 Good morning, Lisa. 901 00:36:19,298 --> 00:36:20,497 Fanny! 902 00:36:20,731 --> 00:36:22,150 Lisa from the joffrey. 903 00:36:22,270 --> 00:36:24,179 Ah, nice to meet you. Likewise. 904 00:36:24,299 --> 00:36:25,866 The floors look wonderful. 905 00:36:25,900 --> 00:36:27,140 I was going to fax you about it. 906 00:36:27,168 --> 00:36:28,836 Thank you. A couple of days ago, 907 00:36:28,870 --> 00:36:31,005 I had to fax the studio in Ojai 908 00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:32,239 with the news we weren't coming. 909 00:36:32,273 --> 00:36:34,108 They faxed back that they were disappointed. 910 00:36:34,142 --> 00:36:35,109 That's too bad. 911 00:36:35,143 --> 00:36:36,143 Well, time to get started. 912 00:36:36,177 --> 00:36:37,244 Looks like we have a good group here. 913 00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:39,246 Bye. 914 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,982 She said bye. Surprised she didn't fax it. 915 00:36:42,017 --> 00:36:43,817 I never doubted they'd want to be here. 916 00:36:43,852 --> 00:36:45,152 Oh, right. Yeah, not for a moment. 917 00:36:45,186 --> 00:36:48,155 Gather around, everybody, please. 918 00:36:48,189 --> 00:36:50,257 Gather around. 919 00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:53,927 Good morning, everyone. Welcome to the 2012 920 00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:56,163 joffrey summer program auditions. 921 00:36:56,197 --> 00:36:58,799 We're going to get started in just a minute. 922 00:36:58,833 --> 00:36:59,900 Listen for your numbers, please. 923 00:36:59,934 --> 00:37:01,168 And good luck. 924 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:07,808 All right, this is to confirm the people 925 00:37:07,842 --> 00:37:09,877 in my first group. 926 00:37:09,911 --> 00:37:12,212 Number 23, warden. 927 00:37:12,247 --> 00:37:15,149 Number 18, connely. 928 00:37:15,183 --> 00:37:18,052 Number 26, waggeman. 929 00:37:18,086 --> 00:37:20,988 Number 16, Jordan. 930 00:37:21,022 --> 00:37:22,222 Number 62... 931 00:37:22,257 --> 00:37:24,858 All right, front row seats. 932 00:37:25,994 --> 00:37:27,861 Ooh, first group's going in. 933 00:37:27,896 --> 00:37:29,863 You got boo and Sasha in that one. Exciting. 934 00:37:29,898 --> 00:37:32,866 Here's something else exciting. 935 00:37:32,901 --> 00:37:33,967 Excellent. 936 00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:35,202 You know... 937 00:37:35,236 --> 00:37:37,037 I forgot to ask you about Floyd. 938 00:37:37,072 --> 00:37:39,173 What about him? He did okay on the floor. 939 00:37:39,207 --> 00:37:42,042 Obviously. He fix anything else? 940 00:37:42,077 --> 00:37:43,911 There's nothing else that needed fixing. 941 00:37:43,945 --> 00:37:47,147 Waxed everything that needed... waxing? 942 00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:49,983 He seemed to. Next morning he... 943 00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:52,953 Got off okay? He got off just fine. 944 00:37:52,987 --> 00:37:54,221 What? 945 00:37:54,255 --> 00:37:57,324 You said "got off." Pour the wine. 946 00:37:58,993 --> 00:38:01,195 It's a big day for boo, huh? 947 00:38:01,229 --> 00:38:02,930 And all of them. 948 00:38:02,964 --> 00:38:04,932 This is such a wonderful experience... 949 00:38:04,966 --> 00:38:06,934 Just to dance and be seen. 950 00:38:06,968 --> 00:38:08,102 It doesn't matter what happens. 951 00:38:08,136 --> 00:38:10,037 It only matters that they're here. 952 00:38:10,071 --> 00:38:11,105 I'll drink to that. 953 00:38:14,843 --> 00:38:15,876 Boo, what happened? 954 00:38:15,910 --> 00:38:16,877 I got cut. 955 00:38:16,911 --> 00:38:18,779 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. 956 00:38:18,813 --> 00:38:19,913 It's okay. No, it's not. 957 00:38:19,948 --> 00:38:21,181 Rayray, get the box. Roger! 958 00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:23,183 Really? The box? What box? 959 00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:24,818 Get over here. What are you doing? 960 00:38:24,853 --> 00:38:26,186 Shh. You're going back in. 961 00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:27,788 She can't just go back in. 962 00:38:27,822 --> 00:38:28,956 Yeah, Fanny. I was cut. 963 00:38:28,990 --> 00:38:30,023 You were not cut. 964 00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:32,025 No one cuts one of my girls that fast. 965 00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:33,961 Got it! Hurry. 966 00:38:33,995 --> 00:38:36,029 Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? 967 00:38:36,064 --> 00:38:37,965 Ah, here it is. 968 00:38:37,999 --> 00:38:39,133 Now don't fight me. 969 00:38:39,167 --> 00:38:40,868 Ow! Ah, sorry. 970 00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:41,869 Is this really happening? 971 00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:44,037 This was made for a much smaller head. 972 00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:47,040 It was for swan hilda in my 1996 "coppelia." 973 00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:48,976 Girl had a head the size of a peanut. 974 00:38:49,010 --> 00:38:50,911 Now you're trina from simi valley 975 00:38:50,945 --> 00:38:52,246 if anyone asks. 976 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,314 So get in there, and show them what what trina's got. 977 00:38:54,349 --> 00:38:56,016 Trina, simi valley... Got it! 978 00:38:57,185 --> 00:38:59,253 But how do you figure? More, please. 979 00:38:59,287 --> 00:39:01,255 But she... More, please. 980 00:39:01,289 --> 00:39:03,157 Holy hell, what's with us? 981 00:39:03,191 --> 00:39:06,093 That was crazy, what you just did with boo there. I'm just saying. 982 00:39:06,127 --> 00:39:08,929 It's not crazy. It's the point of being in a competition. 983 00:39:08,963 --> 00:39:10,964 To compete. But they had just seen her. 984 00:39:10,999 --> 00:39:12,132 They did not see her. They saw her. 985 00:39:12,167 --> 00:39:14,201 And they cut her. They did not see her. 986 00:39:14,235 --> 00:39:16,136 Boo? Well? 987 00:39:16,171 --> 00:39:18,906 Trina got cut. Oh honey, I'm sorry. 988 00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:21,208 But you gave it a good... Rayray, give me your legwarmers. 989 00:39:21,242 --> 00:39:22,943 Coming! You've got to be kidding me. 990 00:39:22,977 --> 00:39:24,011 Get that thing off your head. 991 00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:25,279 This is astonishing! 992 00:39:25,313 --> 00:39:26,847 Ooh pretty dirty. 993 00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:28,882 If anyone asks, say you live on a farm. 994 00:39:28,917 --> 00:39:30,050 Legwarmers. 995 00:39:30,084 --> 00:39:31,285 Put 'em on. It's like being backstage 996 00:39:31,319 --> 00:39:32,319 at "the Carol Burnett show." 997 00:39:32,353 --> 00:39:33,921 Quick. Get it into a bun. 998 00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:35,088 Me? Yes. Hurry! 999 00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:37,324 Uh, well maybe something other than a bun. 1000 00:39:37,358 --> 00:39:39,159 Like what? Let's do a ponytail. 1001 00:39:39,194 --> 00:39:40,928 Joffrey doesn't like ponytails. 1002 00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:41,929 How did I get pulled into this? 1003 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:43,263 Just do a bun! But a ponytail 1004 00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:45,098 will make her really stand out. 1005 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:46,166 I went to an audition once. 1006 00:39:46,201 --> 00:39:48,168 Everyone was in a bun, but I was in a ponytail. 1007 00:39:48,203 --> 00:39:49,336 And people were like, "who's the girl in the ponytail?" 1008 00:39:49,370 --> 00:39:51,171 Got me the job! Let's do a ponytail! 1009 00:39:51,206 --> 00:39:52,940 Fine. Do it. 1010 00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:54,174 Your name is Selma. What's my last name? 1011 00:39:54,209 --> 00:39:56,276 Alabama? Just tell them Selma. 1012 00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:57,311 Run run! 1013 00:39:59,214 --> 00:40:01,348 Crazy times five. 1014 00:40:01,382 --> 00:40:03,283 You don't know how auditions work. 1015 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:05,953 Yes, I do. You dance for Gary janetti, 1016 00:40:05,987 --> 00:40:07,955 he looks up, says "no," you're done. 1017 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,156 Who? Never mind. 1018 00:40:09,190 --> 00:40:10,991 You really don't get it, do you? 1019 00:40:12,126 --> 00:40:14,194 I guess not. Boo is not being seen. 1020 00:40:14,229 --> 00:40:16,129 Come again? Well, look at all the girls 1021 00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:17,204 that she's gone in with... 1022 00:40:17,232 --> 00:40:18,966 Stick insects with tiny legs 1023 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:19,967 and tiny butts. 1024 00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:21,134 And when boo comes in, 1025 00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,070 beautiful as she is, all they see is 1026 00:40:23,104 --> 00:40:24,905 how she doesn't look like the other girls, 1027 00:40:24,939 --> 00:40:26,073 so they cut her. 1028 00:40:26,107 --> 00:40:28,242 But eventually, if she keeps going in... 1029 00:40:28,276 --> 00:40:30,310 And I don't care how many times it takes... 1030 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:32,246 She will get into a group with someone 1031 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,915 who has bigger legs and a bigger butt, 1032 00:40:34,949 --> 00:40:36,183 and then she will be seen. 1033 00:40:36,217 --> 00:40:38,085 You're mad. 1034 00:40:38,119 --> 00:40:40,087 But making sense. Maybe I'm mad? 1035 00:40:40,121 --> 00:40:41,255 Guess what? What? 1036 00:40:41,289 --> 00:40:43,056 Selma got cut. Darn. 1037 00:40:43,091 --> 00:40:45,125 Find the plastic nose. No Fanny, it's fine. 1038 00:40:45,159 --> 00:40:48,061 They thought I was dynamic and had great form. 1039 00:40:48,096 --> 00:40:49,963 Well, they thought trina had great form, 1040 00:40:49,998 --> 00:40:51,231 and Selma was dynamic. 1041 00:40:51,266 --> 00:40:52,366 They only one they didn't like was me. 1042 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,067 Yay? 1043 00:40:54,102 --> 00:40:55,235 They also said that I should 1044 00:40:55,270 --> 00:40:56,970 definitely try again next year, 1045 00:40:57,005 --> 00:40:58,939 'cause the underdog slot was already used up. 1046 00:40:58,973 --> 00:40:59,973 Aww. 1047 00:41:01,976 --> 00:41:03,310 You done good, kiddo. 1048 00:41:03,344 --> 00:41:05,212 Thanks. 1049 00:41:05,246 --> 00:41:07,014 I fouetted in a wig. 1050 00:41:08,283 --> 00:41:10,284 Boo, can I get my legwarmers back? 1051 00:41:12,987 --> 00:41:15,155 Now she has been seen. 1052 00:41:23,197 --> 00:41:25,299 Sasha? 1053 00:41:25,333 --> 00:41:26,266 How'd it go? 1054 00:41:26,301 --> 00:41:29,036 Okay, I guess. 1055 00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:32,005 I bet you were great. 1056 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,242 So, you wanna come over for some failure cake? 1057 00:41:35,276 --> 00:41:38,011 Yeah. 1058 00:41:38,046 --> 00:41:40,881 But I kind of have to stay and fill out some forms. 1059 00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:43,884 Oh. 1060 00:41:43,918 --> 00:41:45,018 I'll wait. 1061 00:42:03,838 --> 00:42:05,105 Hi, I'm Michelle Simms. 1062 00:42:16,017 --> 00:42:17,918 ♪ Me and my baby 1063 00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:19,920 ♪ my baby and me 1064 00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,254 ♪ we're 'bout as happy 1065 00:42:21,289 --> 00:42:23,256 ♪ as babies can be 1066 00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:25,158 ♪ what if a find that 1067 00:42:25,193 --> 00:42:27,160 ♪ I'm caught in a storm? 1068 00:42:27,195 --> 00:42:29,096 ♪ I don't care, if baby's there ♪ 1069 00:42:29,130 --> 00:42:30,997 ♪ Then baby's bound to keep me warm ♪ 1070 00:42:31,032 --> 00:42:32,933 ♪ We're sticking together 1071 00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:35,001 ♪ and ain't we got fun? 1072 00:42:35,036 --> 00:42:36,837 ♪ So much together 1073 00:42:36,871 --> 00:42:38,839 ♪ they count us as one 1074 00:42:38,873 --> 00:42:40,173 ♪ tell old man worry 1075 00:42:40,208 --> 00:42:42,175 ♪ to go climb a tree 1076 00:42:42,210 --> 00:42:44,111 ♪ 'cause I got my baby 1077 00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:46,113 ♪ my sweet little baby 1078 00:42:46,147 --> 00:42:47,848 ♪ look at my baby 1079 00:42:47,882 --> 00:42:51,852 ♪ and me! 1080 00:42:57,125 --> 00:42:58,959 Hello? 1081 00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,093 Is that all right? 1082 00:43:25,189 --> 00:43:33,189