1
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,499
My name is Sebastian.
And, yeah, that's me.
2
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,336
When my mother used
to dress me for pre-school,
3
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,239
like I was going to Studio 54.
4
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:42,509
Like most American stories,
mine starts a long time ago
5
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:43,911
on another continent.
6
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:49,482
Specifically,
the magical island of Sicilia.
7
00:00:50,952 --> 00:00:52,519
A lot of folks
like to call Sicily
8
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,089
the big ball in front
of the boot of Italy,
9
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:56,424
which makes sense
10
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:57,857
'cause the world's been
trying to kick our ass
11
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,927
since the dawn of time.
12
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,463
For generations,
my people have been
13
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:05,832
threatened by wars,
14
00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,234
volcanoes,
15
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,237
and testicle-crushing Speedos.
16
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:12,772
But we survived it all
17
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,675
through one unstoppable force.
18
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,544
Family.
19
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:22,383
These are actual photos
of my Sicilian ancestors.
20
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,152
Note the signature
Maniscalco look.
21
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:29,423
With the curved spines
and the resting bitch face,
22
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:32,726
like a bunch
of pissed-off candy canes.
23
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,062
Over the past few centuries,
24
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:40,301
these proud hunchback men
have operated with one goal.
25
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,534
Do everything you can...
26
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,337
...to give your kids
a better life
27
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,006
than the one you had.
28
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,308
For my father,
this meant leaving
29
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,709
his beloved Sicily
for Chicago.
30
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,213
So he and my mother could
give me opportunities
31
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,280
they never got.
32
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,548
Like shoveling snow.
33
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:58,752
Growing a beautiful mullet.
34
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,121
And going to the prom
35
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,989
looking like a pit boss.
36
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,359
Growing up,
my father busted his hump
37
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,361
to instill in me certain rules
38
00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:09,863
of how a man should operate.
39
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:13,367
Like, if you're awake,
you should be workin'.
40
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,002
Hey, how's
the pressure,
Mrs. Marinelli?
41
00:02:15,036 --> 00:02:16,303
Harder.
42
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,938
You got to get in there, son.
I don't pay you by the hour,
43
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,572
I pay you
by the moan, capisce?
44
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,576
Guy
with the ponytail,
45
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,146
that's my dad.
46
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,248
Did I mention he owns a salon?
47
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,850
The man comes from a long line
of Sicilian hairstylists.
48
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,987
And don't you dare
call him a barber.
49
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,456
This man doesn't
just cut hair,
50
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,824
he creates styles.
51
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,592
Salvo,
52
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:40,894
it's beautiful.
53
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,896
See? I told you
you had cheekbones
under there.
54
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,299
You just needed
Michelangelo
to dig them out.
55
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,302
Child labor laws
were definitely broken.
56
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,537
But on the bright side,
57
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:52,339
I had the most realistic
Chewbacca costume
58
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,208
in the history of Halloween.
59
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,146
He taught me
to always save your money.
60
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,580
No apps, no dessert.
61
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:01,848
And if you don't
finish your main,
62
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,918
you're paying
for your own
birthday dinner.
63
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,557
And to be resourceful.
64
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,890
You wanted me
to buy you
a skateboard,
65
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,659
I built you
one instead.
66
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,296
Next year,
I'm gonna
build you
67
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,131
one of those
Nintendos.
68
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,467
But one exception, cologne.
69
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:23,270
Never cheap out
on your signature scent.
70
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:27,141
At bedtime, our house smelled
like an Uber in Las Vegas.
71
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,779
The only time I saw
my father smile is
72
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,215
when we did
the chicken dance
73
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,282
for my mother.
74
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:40,221
To me, this man was a God.
75
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,756
And it was all
working out great
76
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,426
until I grew up,
77
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:49,762
and fell for someone
who was my complete opposite.
78
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,632
Her name was Ellie.
79
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,635
I mean, look at this girl.
80
00:03:55,668 --> 00:04:00,007
The style, the positivity,
81
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,875
personality.
82
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,012
Yeah, this was my dream woman.
83
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:09,649
Sebastian!
84
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,920
Ah! I'm so sorry
I'm late.
85
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,489
This guy's charging
$15 for valet.
86
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,091
So I parked it
nine blocks away.
87
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,026
Wait a minute,
if you parked
that far away,
88
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,262
how are you so dry?
You sweat just
getting the mail.
89
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,397
It's the Fendi, babe.
90
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,732
It's wicking away.
91
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,035
You want one?
Yeah.
92
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,603
You know,
everyone said
I should serve
93
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,804
fancy food
at my opening,
and I was like,
94
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:36,644
"Name one person
that doesn't like
a hot dog."
95
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:39,213
And get this, she's an artist.
96
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,248
I mean, growing up,
I wasn't even allowed
97
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:42,650
to do it as a hobby.
98
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:43,716
So how's
the show going?
99
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,053
Oh, my God!
Freaking amazing.
100
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,088
All my pieces sold out
in like 15 minutes.
101
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:50,690
Babe, that's incredible.
I know, right?
102
00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:52,993
I mean, most of them went
to this big decorator,
103
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:56,463
but they have clients
all over the world,
so I'm not complaining.
104
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,932
Well, you shouldn't.
105
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,034
Especially because they look,
kind of like, you know...
106
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,336
Vaginas?
107
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,906
Well, you know,
if you just hang
them horizontally,
108
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,977
they kind of look
like sunsets.
109
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,278
Oh, yeah.
110
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,479
Right.
111
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,746
Since the day I met her,
112
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,482
she's been opening my eyes
113
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,319
to all kinds
of new experiences.
114
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,620
Like naps.
115
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,555
Weird.
116
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,823
The sun's coming
through the drapes.
117
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:25,559
And beauty treatments.
118
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:27,827
Hey, hot stuff.
Looking good.
119
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,129
Wait, are you mad?
120
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,264
Yeah.
121
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,933
That it took 42 years
to discover avocado masks.
122
00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:35,135
And last but not least,
123
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,170
smiling.
124
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,739
Okay. Um...
125
00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,308
It's not natural.
That's...
126
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,311
That's not
particularly natural.
But you know what I think?
127
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:47,348
I think we just
have to build these
facial muscles,
128
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,748
so you just
got to practice.
129
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,783
Look at that.
Now try it.
130
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,785
I don't...
You
look great.
131
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:59,026
Yeah, life
with Ellie was pretty perfect.
132
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,464
I don't think
I could participate.
133
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,598
That's just
ridiculous.
134
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:05,966
- You promised.
- Oh, come on!
135
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,835
A public wedding
proposal? It's
embarrassing.
136
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,504
I think
it's sweet.
137
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,339
When I propose
to you,
138
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,674
it's going
to be intimate.
139
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,342
Hmm.
Just you and me,
140
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:16,610
the way
it should be.
141
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,345
Hmm.
No one else.
142
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,014
Used to be,
"If I propose."
143
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,881
You just said,
"When I propose."
144
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,816
Okay, babe,
it's just...
I'm aggravated.
145
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,885
Words are just
flying out
of my mouth.
146
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:26,954
Well, just
so you know,
147
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,390
the only way
I will say yes,
148
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,724
is if there is
some element
149
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,493
of public
humiliation involved.
150
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,927
Oh, well.
Get ready.
151
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,895
You might as well just end
the relationship right now,
152
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,165
because we ain't
doing that.
Oh, we're not?
153
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,433
I'm not
doing this.
But you're
154
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,068
such a good dancer.
Look at these people.
155
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,538
Uh, Ellie?
I kind of need
your help right now.
156
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,241
Right, dude,
we are in!
157
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,115
The truth was,
I had every intention
158
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,351
of asking Ellie to marry me.
159
00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:02,589
I just needed
the right place and time.
160
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,795
I see you, guy.
161
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,797
I see you.
162
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,299
All right? Pick it up.
163
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:15,002
Thank you.
Take a walk.
Sebastian.
164
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,237
I'm on the phone
with my parents
and get this,
165
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,908
they're inviting us
166
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,810
out to the summer place
167
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,245
for the big
4th-of-July weekend.
168
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,781
Babe, did you
just say "us"?
Us.
169
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,016
I thought this trip
was for family only.
170
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,018
I know! I mean,
I'm so torn
171
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,087
between thinking
this is great news,
172
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,154
or that I might be
dragging you
173
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:35,888
into an Italian version
of Get Out.
174
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,658
I'm not sure. Oh, uh, uh...
175
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:41,161
Yes, yes, yes,
Mother, yes. I'm
asking him right now,
176
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:42,496
please hold.
177
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,731
What do you think?
178
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,837
Yeah.
179
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:52,339
He's man-crying.
That means it's a yes.
180
00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:54,208
Yes!
I love you.
181
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,976
I'm gonna
get you tissues.
182
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,712
I love you.
I'm so excited.
183
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,448
So, yeah,
I'm a big crier.
184
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:04,752
I love to just marinate
in my own tears.
185
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:05,986
Mmm.
186
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,222
But this was a huge deal.
187
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,793
Ellie's summer place wasn't
just the perfect spot
188
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,228
to propose.
189
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:17,831
It also meant her family was
starting to accept me.
190
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,267
Which was amazing, because...
191
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,703
How do I put this eloquently?
192
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:27,608
These people got
class up the ass.
193
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:34,515
I mean, look at these people
with their perfect postures,
194
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,450
and their perfect teeth.
195
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,485
Even their dog went
to better schools
196
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,087
than I did.
197
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,388
I was intimidated,
198
00:08:41,422 --> 00:08:43,190
which really didn't
make any sense
199
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:47,694
as their story was also
an immigrant story.
200
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:52,166
For some reason, theirs was
considered more respectable,
201
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,835
as it started 400 years ago.
202
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,870
Now, this is
an actual painting
203
00:08:56,905 --> 00:08:59,106
of Ellie's
10th great grandfather,
204
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:03,143
William Love Collins,
taking his family to America,
205
00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:06,547
on a little boat called
the Mayflower.
206
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,183
You got it. That one.
207
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,553
So while my father came
to chase the American dream,
208
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:15,823
the Collins were
the American dream,
209
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,125
all the way
up to Ellie's dad.
210
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,861
William Love Collins XII.
211
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,396
Only Italian guys I knew
212
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,498
with Roman numerals
after their names...
213
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,266
...are popes,
214
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,236
and Rocky Balboa.
215
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,138
Her dad is
the chairman and CEO
216
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,707
of the luxurious
Collins Hotel Group,
217
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,075
which was awkward,
218
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,611
as I happened to run
a cool new boutique hotel,
219
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,447
which was stealing
a lot of his Chicago business.
220
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,216
Bottom line?
221
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,586
His baby girl was
dating the enemy.
222
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,056
But Bill wasn't even
the scary parent.
223
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,492
That honor belonged
to Ellie's mother,
224
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:56,396
whose actual birth name
was Tigger MacArthur.
225
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,600
Anna, darling,
you don't know
anything about me.
226
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,269
And this kitty's got claws.
227
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,571
As an Ivy League
grad-turned-senator
228
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,940
for the state of Maryland,
229
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:07,741
it took her a long time
230
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:11,345
to wrap her mind around
her beloved daughter dating
231
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,281
some working-class
hotel manager.
232
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,583
How could I be
anti-immigrant
233
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:20,187
when my daughter is
dating the son of one?
234
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,389
But this invite meant
235
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:25,325
I was finally
breaking through.
236
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:28,028
A holiday weekend was
my chance to charm
237
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,731
the pleated pants
off these people.
238
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,766
And if all went well,
239
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,336
I could ask
for their daughter's
hand in marriage.
240
00:10:38,006 --> 00:10:40,942
So, I had the girl
I wanted to marry,
241
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:43,810
the perfect spot
to propose to her,
242
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,346
and now,
I just needed the ring,
243
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,815
which should have
been easy to get.
244
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:49,883
Oh, come on. What do you mean
245
00:10:49,918 --> 00:10:51,485
you're not gonna
give me the ring?
246
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,554
Grandma left it for me
to use when I'm ready
to get married.
247
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:55,355
Uh, your grandmother
left it with me
248
00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:56,823
to make sure you just
don't give it away
249
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,192
to some puttana, that's what
your grandmother did.
250
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,495
Can you come out
of the garden so
we can talk about this?
251
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,867
They're back.
They're back there
messing with my gagootz.
252
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,602
Forget the gagootz.
253
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,138
Dad, the ring,
can I have it?
Look at that.
254
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:13,473
You know,
I don't know
about this girl,
255
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,275
I gotta tell ya.
I'm not sure
about her.
256
00:11:15,309 --> 00:11:17,045
She put her feet up
on my coffee table,
257
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,378
I don't know...
You put
your feet up
258
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:19,746
on your
coffee table.
Yeah, my coffee table,
259
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:20,881
my feet.
260
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,182
What do you
think is this?
261
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,685
What bites? A raccoon?
Ants? Is it an ant?
262
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,588
An ant. You got
to to be kidding me.
263
00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:30,857
Let's see.
Okay, here we are.
264
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,027
Look at them.
That's a possum.
265
00:11:33,061 --> 00:11:35,262
Possum. They're dead.
266
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,663
Dead, gone.
Oh, no. Come on,
267
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,899
with the thing again...
Gone from this earth.
268
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:41,101
Instant death.
Just set a trap.
269
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,469
Yeah, I'm gonna
set a trap.
270
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,237
I'm gonna get
my antifreeze,
my little...
271
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,739
When I was a kid,
272
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,609
I thought everything
my dad did was normal.
273
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,678
If some string beans
went missing,
274
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:55,115
I'd wake up to a yard
full of poisoned squirrels,
275
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,250
birds, chipmunks,
276
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,452
basically anything
277
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,989
that ever helped
Cinderella get dressed,
278
00:12:01,022 --> 00:12:03,490
murdered in our backyard.
279
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,292
Come on, Dad.
Could you just admit
280
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,628
that Ellie's not
some puttana?
281
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:08,729
I love her, you love her.
282
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,565
Just give me the ring
so I can propose.
283
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,034
You really serious
about this?
284
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,701
Yeah, Dad,
she's the one.
285
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:15,669
She's the one?
Yeah.
286
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,105
Okay, son, you know
what I'm gonna do?
287
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,505
I'm gonna give
you the ring.
Thank you.
288
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,908
But first I gotta
meet her family.
289
00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:22,676
What? Why?
Why?
290
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,180
That's why.
What the hell does that mean?
291
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,083
You got
no respect
for your roots.
292
00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:30,384
I mean, what are
you talking about?
293
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,752
You don't eat
the fruit till
you make sure
294
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:32,987
the tree ain't sick.
295
00:12:33,021 --> 00:12:34,388
And per tradition,
I need to look
296
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,057
at the mother
and the father's eyes.
297
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,457
I need to look them
in the eyes
298
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:38,859
to make sure there's no rot.
299
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,560
Because there could be rot.
Not that there is.
What?
300
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,964
But there could be.
There's no rot
in this family, Dad.
301
00:12:42,997 --> 00:12:44,231
You never know.
They're classy.
302
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,067
You never know.
Come on, they're
classy people.
303
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,334
Oh, yeah.
304
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,903
The fancier,
the dirtier.
305
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,138
You never know
what's going on.
306
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,672
Plus, they don't live
anywhere near here.
307
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:53,373
So let me just put you
on a FaceTime,
308
00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:55,009
so you could
taste test them
over the phone.
309
00:12:55,043 --> 00:12:58,245
Hey, I'm not doing FaceTime.
This is an important moment.
310
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,846
FaceTime, Zoom?
What are you, crazy?
311
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,016
You don't gotta
get all upset.
No, gotta be faccia con faccia.
312
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:04,986
Dad, I want
to do this
next weekend
313
00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:07,287
at their family's house
in the country.
314
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,189
Wait... wait.
Hold on, hold on.
315
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,624
This is the first summer
316
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,027
since we had to say goodbye
to your poor dear mother,
317
00:13:13,061 --> 00:13:14,162
and you're going
to leave me alone
318
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,930
for the goddamn 4th of July?
319
00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,197
Well, it's just that,
you know,
320
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,666
her family invited me
to their summer house.
321
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,767
Oh, their summer home?
322
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,170
Oh, most people got one home,
but they got 'em
323
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,704
for different seasons.
Oh, that's nice.
324
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:25,539
Come on, Dad. So they got
more money than us,
325
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:28,176
who doesn't? Plus,
it's just for one weekend.
326
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,677
Oh, one weekend, he says.
One weekend.
327
00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:32,846
Fifty years ago,
I come to this country
328
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,048
to give you a better life.
329
00:13:34,082 --> 00:13:35,415
Fifty years ago,
330
00:13:35,449 --> 00:13:38,251
I skipped every weekend
in Sicily for you.
331
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,686
I joined the US Army
332
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,090
to protect your freedoms.
And what thanks do I get?
333
00:13:42,123 --> 00:13:43,925
You go celebrate
the 4th of July
334
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:44,992
with some other family,
335
00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:46,127
leaving me
to burn the sparklers
336
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,029
and eat the hot dogs alone!
337
00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:50,131
Alone! Thank you.
338
00:13:51,966 --> 00:13:53,266
This is incredible.
339
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,142
Wait, what do you mean
you're not coming?
340
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,376
I can't leave my father.
341
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,712
The 4th of July was
their favorite holiday.
342
00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:07,581
Because of his
military background?
343
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:10,650
No, it's the only holiday
you don't have to buy a gift.
344
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,285
I'm sorry, Ellie.
345
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,254
We'll just do it
some other time.
346
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,455
Why don't
we just bring him?
347
00:14:15,489 --> 00:14:16,623
What happened?
348
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:20,061
I mean, if he...
loves the 4th,
349
00:14:20,094 --> 00:14:21,762
he's gonna flip out
at our place.
350
00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:24,631
There's all
kinds of fun
family activities.
351
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:27,135
There's fireworks.
There's even a huge clambake
352
00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:29,036
with tons of fresh fish.
353
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:30,604
He loves to de-bone fish.
354
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,472
Kind of perfect.
355
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,210
My father
getting a close-up look
356
00:14:36,244 --> 00:14:37,477
at my new life,
357
00:14:37,511 --> 00:14:39,379
while I was trying
to seal the deal
358
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,281
with Ellie's parents?
359
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,383
What an incredible idea!
360
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,618
Nah, I don't think so.
361
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,653
I should probably
just stay here with him.
362
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,888
Boo!
363
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,690
Come on.
364
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:53,426
Don't you want
our families
to finally meet?
365
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,529
Yeah, of course I do.
366
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,266
Why is your voice
going up like that?
367
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,599
What's going on?
368
00:15:00,034 --> 00:15:01,068
Are you...
369
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,471
Are you nervous
to bring him?
370
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,373
Ner... No.
371
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,408
No. What? No, no.
372
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,843
All right, fine.
373
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,812
Don't bring him.
374
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:12,914
Don't come.
375
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,850
Don't have fun.
It's fine.
376
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,819
All right,
maybe I was a little scared
377
00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:21,588
to bring my father
into a country club
environment,
378
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,292
where he'd see me playing
racquet sports,
379
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,828
riding around in golf carts,
and taking naps.
380
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:30,664
But I also knew
that stubborn bastard wouldn't
381
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,700
give me the ring without
a face-to-face meeting.
382
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,703
Fine. You win.
I'll ask him.
383
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,141
Hey, don't get
all excited, all right?
384
00:15:40,174 --> 00:15:43,177
This guy's big on tradition.
I doubt he'll even say yes.
385
00:15:43,211 --> 00:15:44,511
Shit, yeah. I'm coming.
386
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,980
No, wait, wait,
wait. Seriously?
387
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,614
Of course, I'm coming.
What are we gonna
do instead?
388
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,715
Spend the whole
weekend alone,
389
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,017
just the two of us
in the house,
390
00:15:50,051 --> 00:15:51,185
burning the sparklers
391
00:15:51,219 --> 00:15:53,221
and eating the hotdogs?
Yeah, I'm coming.
392
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:54,487
That's the same
example you used
393
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,822
to guilt trip me
into not going.
394
00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:57,824
Well, what can I say.
I got a way with words.
395
00:15:57,858 --> 00:15:58,926
You know me.
396
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,228
All right, listen.
If we're gonna do this, Dad,
397
00:16:00,261 --> 00:16:01,494
you gotta be
on your best behavior.
398
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,231
Wha... What do you mean,
my best behavior?
399
00:16:03,264 --> 00:16:04,898
The family is uptight,
400
00:16:04,932 --> 00:16:06,433
they're conservative,
they're not used to...
401
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,667
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
402
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,204
So, you, the son, are
telling me, the father,
403
00:16:10,238 --> 00:16:11,438
how to behave?
404
00:16:11,973 --> 00:16:13,241
You hear this?
405
00:16:13,274 --> 00:16:15,343
Just remember the main goal
is for you to meet the family,
406
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,444
so I can get the ring
and propose to Ellie.
407
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,545
It's not for you
to price check
408
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,713
their antique coffee tables.
409
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,315
Come on, already!
I mean, how fancy
410
00:16:21,349 --> 00:16:22,549
could a stupid
coffee table be?
411
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,318
I mean, seriously,
how much we talking?
412
00:16:24,352 --> 00:16:26,254
I don't know, Dad.
413
00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:28,755
I'm kidding you. Mannaggia.
Where's
your sense of humor?
414
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,024
Jeez. Come on.
All I'm asking is
415
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,391
dial it down with the...
416
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,459
What, all the...
417
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,627
This is...
What is this?
418
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,263
Look at him.
Look at him.
419
00:16:35,296 --> 00:16:36,396
Dial it down
with all this
and that.
420
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,464
You know what
he's worried about?
421
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,698
He's worried
422
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,268
his immigrant father's
gonna make him look
423
00:16:40,301 --> 00:16:42,003
like some kind
of goombah.
424
00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:43,070
Let me tell you something.
425
00:16:43,104 --> 00:16:44,804
You don't remember
this because I'm your dad
426
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,673
but a lot of people
find me charming,
427
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,209
pretty charming,
that's right. Right.
428
00:16:48,242 --> 00:16:49,442
- Right, ladies?
- Yeah.
429
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,645
And these
stuck-up rich people?
430
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,812
They got a word for me...
431
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:55,249
I remember, it's loud,
it's obnoxious,
432
00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,549
it's over-cologned.
433
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,485
No, no. "Refreshing."
434
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,420
"He's refreshing."
"He's so original."
435
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,656
I've heard that all...
All the time I hear that.
436
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,159
And I promise you
Ellie's parents
are gonna love me.
437
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,860
I don't know about
you, but they're going
to love me.
438
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,461
Mm-hmm.
Ladies,
you better get
439
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,863
your 'dos done
by Thursday
440
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,465
'cause the Maniscalco men,
they're going on vacation.
441
00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:15,568
He's worried.
442
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,604
This kid is
worried. I'm not.
443
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,291
What the hell
are you doing?
444
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:39,160
You can't smoke here.
What? I'm outside.
445
00:17:39,193 --> 00:17:40,227
Next to an airplane!
446
00:17:40,261 --> 00:17:42,063
- Oh, sorry!
- That's okay.
447
00:17:42,096 --> 00:17:44,999
Mannaggia.
Can't even
smoke a cigar.
448
00:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,499
I got some
good news.
449
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,169
I got us
a luxury sedan
450
00:17:48,202 --> 00:17:49,904
for the price
of a compact.
451
00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:51,571
That's nice,
but makes
me wonder
452
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,540
how much the compact
you could've got for.
453
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,742
Then I took
the compact price
454
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,477
and got it
on the house!
455
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,180
Hey!
Hey! Nice!
456
00:17:59,213 --> 00:18:01,548
Baby, the bags.
Yeah. How long does
it take to get there?
457
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,451
Um, like, three hours.
458
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,119
Hey, you guys
looking for a ride?
459
00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:07,787
Oh, my God.
460
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,056
Lucky!
461
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:10,523
Oh, no.
462
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,259
Who's that,
an ex-boyfriend?
463
00:18:12,293 --> 00:18:13,626
Worse. Brother.
464
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,262
Hey!
465
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:19,967
While I'd made
progress with Ellie's parents,
466
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:23,070
I'd yet to make any
with the older brother.
467
00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:26,107
His name was
William Love Collins XIII.
468
00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,943
So, everybody called
this guy "Lucky."
469
00:18:28,976 --> 00:18:30,344
And that's exactly
470
00:18:30,378 --> 00:18:31,778
- what he was.
- Chug, chug, chug,
471
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:32,913
Whoo!
472
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:34,015
Oh, my God!
473
00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:35,715
After graduating
from Princeton,
474
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:38,052
back when you could
bribe your kid into college,
475
00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:40,587
Lucky was on deck
to take over the Hotel Group
476
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,789
while working
as a "Client Liaison."
477
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:46,160
Gentlemen! Who's ready to go
hunt some endangered species?
478
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:48,162
I'm just kidding.
Unless you guys
are down,
479
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,596
I can figure
something out.
480
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,265
This meant
traveling around the world,
481
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,832
entertaining wealthy clients
482
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,368
with all the rich kid hobbies
483
00:18:54,402 --> 00:18:56,470
he had time to master.
Whoo!
484
00:18:56,504 --> 00:18:57,570
We're talking skiing...
485
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,074
Whoo! Snowboarding sucks!
486
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:02,476
...y achting.
487
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,644
...all the country club sports.
488
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,081
Whoo! Looks like
I gotta change
my shoes,
489
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:09,716
'cause I'm on
the dance floor. What!
490
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,422
But I'd say
his overall best skill
491
00:19:14,455 --> 00:19:16,524
was being a prick.
492
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,891
There he is.
493
00:19:17,925 --> 00:19:19,592
I see you're still
banging the bellboy.
494
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,228
- Luck! No!
- Hey!
495
00:19:21,262 --> 00:19:22,729
I'm only joking,
Sea Bass.
496
00:19:23,998 --> 00:19:25,799
- Hey, what's up, Luck?
- Not much.
497
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,101
You must be
Sebastian's brother.
498
00:19:27,134 --> 00:19:29,203
Hey. No, I'm
his father. Salvo.
How are you?
499
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,603
No way! Seriously?
500
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,273
That's crazy.
I can't tell the age
501
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:33,573
of anybody over 40.
502
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,809
Anyway. Oh, let me
503
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,145
goose you guys
some free samps.
504
00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:39,080
I'm an angel investor
505
00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:42,116
in this new anti-aging
skin cream for men
506
00:19:42,149 --> 00:19:43,716
and I'm obvi a client.
507
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,718
This guy.
508
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:46,820
You boys ready to saddle up?
509
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,322
Let's go!
510
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,157
Oh, chopper time!
511
00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:52,393
El... El, I don't
think this is such
a good idea.
512
00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:53,994
Yeah, we got
a free car,
you know.
513
00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:55,595
Guys, come on!
514
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,499
Trust me, the helicopter
takes 20 minutes,
515
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:01,469
and the views
are magical.
516
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:03,003
Are you with me?
517
00:20:03,037 --> 00:20:06,006
Come on! Let's
have some fun!
518
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,375
Lucky,
you are cleared for takeoff.
519
00:20:08,409 --> 00:20:09,910
Roger that, Roger.
520
00:20:09,944 --> 00:20:11,744
Dude's name is Roger. We hang.
521
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,646
Got a super-hot wife.
522
00:20:15,983 --> 00:20:17,118
Hey, if you guys
look out to your left,
523
00:20:17,151 --> 00:20:19,819
you'll see the beautiful
Roanoke River.
524
00:20:20,321 --> 00:20:21,355
Baby, look.
525
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,425
Salvo, it's nice, right?
526
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:26,026
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, it's nice.
527
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:27,194
Reminds me of 'Nam.
528
00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:36,170
Huh?
Yeah, I'm fine.
It's good.
529
00:20:36,203 --> 00:20:37,770
Okay. Okay.
I'm fine.
530
00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:40,874
Oh, yeah.
Sorry. Sorry.
531
00:20:40,908 --> 00:20:42,276
I got it. I got it.
532
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,812
Had a couple
too many G and Ts.
533
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,780
- He's kidding. He's kidding.
- Yeah, yeah.
534
00:20:49,016 --> 00:20:51,118
- The air don't work.
- No, it does.
535
00:20:51,152 --> 00:20:52,719
It works, it works.
536
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,721
It's okay.
Only a couple of minutes.
537
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,789
It's just
a little warm, Dad.
Son, it's...
538
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:58,758
I think we got a problem here.
539
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,027
What?
We got
a problem here.
540
00:21:00,060 --> 00:21:01,694
Oh, my God! Baby!
541
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:02,963
Yeah, I can't breathe.
Wait, wait, wait.
542
00:21:02,997 --> 00:21:04,465
Take a bite out of the lemon.
543
00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:05,865
It'll help with
the nausea.
I'm not doing a whole lemon.
544
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:07,168
I'll cut it.
I'll cut it.
Don't worry.
545
00:21:07,201 --> 00:21:08,102
Hey.
546
00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,470
I'll cut it
into pieces.
Hold on.
547
00:21:09,503 --> 00:21:10,870
I got a knife.
548
00:21:10,905 --> 00:21:12,106
He's got a knife.
Oh, my God.
549
00:21:12,139 --> 00:21:13,740
He's got a knife.
I'm cutting the lemon.
550
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,442
Okay, here.
Take it. Take it.
Baby, suck it.
551
00:21:15,476 --> 00:21:18,045
Suck on that.
Suck on
that lemon. Suck.
552
00:21:18,078 --> 00:21:20,214
Just suck!
Suck, suck, suck!
553
00:21:20,247 --> 00:21:22,183
Sounds like
my Saturday night.
Suck!
554
00:21:22,216 --> 00:21:24,051
Dude.
Do not vom in my bird.
555
00:21:24,084 --> 00:21:25,386
He's not gonna vom
in your bird.
556
00:21:25,419 --> 00:21:26,819
Just breathe
in through the nose,
557
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,022
- out through the mouth.
- Suck on that.
558
00:21:28,055 --> 00:21:30,191
It's making it worse.
Suck it!
559
00:21:30,224 --> 00:21:31,525
- Cradle the balls.
- Suck on that!
560
00:21:31,559 --> 00:21:32,725
You just suck!
Just suck it.
561
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:35,095
- Suck the lemon!
- Take it easy, kid.
562
00:21:35,129 --> 00:21:36,796
I think we should
turn around.
He's freaking out.
563
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:37,998
It's like 19 more minutes.
564
00:21:38,032 --> 00:21:39,533
You can't tough
it out for 19...
It stinks!
565
00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:42,169
Let's bring it down.
Let's bring it...
Open up the windows!
566
00:21:42,203 --> 00:21:43,304
I'm gonna die!
567
00:21:43,337 --> 00:21:44,605
Put the air conditioning
down there.
Bring it down.
568
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:45,872
- How are you so calm?
- Roger,
569
00:21:45,906 --> 00:21:47,740
we're coming back.
I'm dying!
Put it down!
570
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,876
Put it down! Ah!
571
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:59,386
I knew I should've
forced him
to join the army.
572
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:01,754
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Laugh it up.
573
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:02,822
Laugh it up, guys.
574
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,092
I'm just happy
I'm on the ground.
575
00:22:07,061 --> 00:22:10,497
Okay, gentlemen.
Welcome to White Oak.
576
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:13,434
Wow!
Right?
577
00:22:13,467 --> 00:22:14,568
Ah, boy.
578
00:22:14,602 --> 00:22:16,971
Um, okay, so, that's
the golf course,
579
00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:21,275
and then
the tennis courts are
back down there.
580
00:22:21,308 --> 00:22:24,144
Oh, baby, look. Right there?
That's my childhood fort.
581
00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:25,446
- Oh.
- We'd go there.
582
00:22:25,479 --> 00:22:26,680
whenever I needed
to get away from my family.
583
00:22:26,714 --> 00:22:28,515
So, basically, all the time.
584
00:22:28,549 --> 00:22:29,882
Yeah, I wish
I had one.
585
00:22:29,917 --> 00:22:32,852
Oh, look!
586
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:36,856
Oh, my God! It's
Sergeant Feathers
and his family!
587
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,891
What is this?
Oh, my God!
588
00:22:38,926 --> 00:22:40,561
What are you doing?
589
00:22:40,594 --> 00:22:42,463
What up, dudes?
What are you...
Is this safe?
590
00:22:42,496 --> 00:22:43,731
Yeah, no, she's crazy.
591
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:46,066
What's that? What are
you doing? Be careful.
592
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:47,568
Get back in the car!
593
00:22:47,601 --> 00:22:49,303
They're gonna eat you alive!
594
00:22:49,336 --> 00:22:50,704
Oh, my God!
Aren't they
the best?
595
00:22:50,738 --> 00:22:51,771
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
596
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:53,207
They're
so beautiful!
597
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,009
So how much
a peacock cost anyway?
598
00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:56,410
Don't answer that, El.
599
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:58,512
I didn't know they had
peacocks in Virginia.
600
00:22:58,545 --> 00:23:01,881
Oh, well,
my grandfather brought
two here decades ago,
601
00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:03,183
but they didn't
like their cages,
602
00:23:03,217 --> 00:23:04,817
so he decided
to let them roam free.
603
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,086
And now, they've
pretty much just become
604
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,055
the official mascots
of our club.
605
00:23:08,088 --> 00:23:09,822
Well, they're bad luck
where I come from.
606
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:11,759
They're just a bunch
of goddamn showoffs,
607
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,727
if you ask me.
I don't like them.
608
00:23:13,761 --> 00:23:14,894
They're lucky
to be born that way.
609
00:23:14,928 --> 00:23:16,163
They could've been
born like a chicken,
610
00:23:16,196 --> 00:23:17,097
or a pigeon.
611
00:23:17,131 --> 00:23:18,798
I mean, it just has
fancy feathers,
612
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,701
so all of a sudden,
it gets more respect.
613
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:23,803
Okay, guys.
614
00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:26,073
We're here.
Welcome to our house.
615
00:23:27,408 --> 00:23:30,978
Look at this!
Are you kidding me?
616
00:23:31,011 --> 00:23:32,246
How much
a house like this cost?
617
00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:34,682
Enough
with the Price is Right!
618
00:23:34,715 --> 00:23:36,984
He's the Bob Barker
of the backseat.
619
00:23:38,686 --> 00:23:41,422
Oh, my little
cuddle monkey!
Hey! Hi!
620
00:23:41,455 --> 00:23:42,723
Hi.
621
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:44,725
- Oh, my girl.
- Oh!
622
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:46,760
Oh, what a beauty!
Ellie-Bellie!
623
00:23:46,794 --> 00:23:48,562
You know,
looking back at this,
624
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,597
my dad had to be overwhelmed.
625
00:23:50,631 --> 00:23:52,066
Family's a little
handsy, huh?
626
00:23:52,099 --> 00:23:54,201
It's called
love and
affection, Dad.
627
00:23:54,234 --> 00:23:56,003
Unlike you,
when you met me
in the delivery room
628
00:23:56,036 --> 00:23:57,338
and chose
to shake
my hand.
629
00:23:57,371 --> 00:23:59,606
What else was I
supposed to do?
We just met.
630
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,275
Huh?
631
00:24:01,308 --> 00:24:02,576
Guys,
come on. I want
you to meet
632
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:04,078
Sebastian's father.
633
00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:05,412
Hey, Sebastian.
Hi.
634
00:24:05,446 --> 00:24:06,480
Nice to see you.
635
00:24:06,513 --> 00:24:07,781
Pleasure. Welcome.
Nice
to meet you.
636
00:24:07,815 --> 00:24:09,316
Sebastian,
so good
to see you.
637
00:24:10,284 --> 00:24:14,121
And you must be
the charming Salvo.
638
00:24:14,154 --> 00:24:16,856
So nice to
finally meet you
in person, Tigger.
639
00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,492
It's just last week
I was checking out
640
00:24:18,525 --> 00:24:20,194
your highlights
on TV.
641
00:24:20,227 --> 00:24:22,563
Oh, the CNN
or the Fox ones?
642
00:24:22,596 --> 00:24:23,896
No, no,
the blonde ones.
643
00:24:23,931 --> 00:24:25,566
You hair,
if I can say, is
644
00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:26,834
just like
a block
of marble.
645
00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:28,335
I wanna sink
my tools into it.
646
00:24:28,369 --> 00:24:29,970
Dad, Dad,
Dad, what are
you doing?
647
00:24:30,003 --> 00:24:31,372
Sorry, I mean, it's...
You're gonna hit her.
648
00:24:31,405 --> 00:24:33,674
Well, Salvo, we've
heard you're quite
the stylist.
649
00:24:33,707 --> 00:24:34,874
Now, tell me this,
650
00:24:34,908 --> 00:24:36,176
do you think
I'm too old
to pull off
651
00:24:36,210 --> 00:24:37,544
a set of
frosted tips?
652
00:24:41,315 --> 00:24:42,616
"Frosted tips?"
653
00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:44,852
Good one, sir! Solid gold!
654
00:24:44,884 --> 00:24:46,220
All right,
I'm gonna
hit the links.
655
00:24:46,253 --> 00:24:47,421
- Have fun!
- Hasta luego!
656
00:24:47,454 --> 00:24:49,656
So, uh, why
don't you
come inside,
657
00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:51,158
and we'll
give you
the grand tour.
658
00:24:51,191 --> 00:24:52,760
Don't worry
about the bags.
659
00:24:52,793 --> 00:24:54,661
Wendell will
take care
of them.
660
00:24:54,695 --> 00:24:55,895
Mommy...
661
00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:57,364
That's
a pretty big dog
you got there.
662
00:24:57,398 --> 00:24:58,866
Oh, that's Duke.
663
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:00,534
We don't get too rough
with him, 'cause we're
afraid he'll kill us.
664
00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:01,969
He's so big!
665
00:25:02,002 --> 00:25:03,137
- Dad!
- This is our house.
666
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,438
- Wow!
- Yes.
667
00:25:04,471 --> 00:25:06,006
- It's unbelievable.
- It's so big.
668
00:25:06,039 --> 00:25:07,508
Oh, this is
669
00:25:07,541 --> 00:25:10,244
our youngest son, Doug.
670
00:25:10,277 --> 00:25:11,678
- He's practicing...
- Hi!
671
00:25:11,712 --> 00:25:13,247
...his sound bowls.
672
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,315
Oh, yeah... Sound bowls?
What is that?
673
00:25:15,349 --> 00:25:17,184
Oh, well, now,
a sound bowl is...
674
00:25:17,217 --> 00:25:18,752
It's, actually,
it's an instrument.
675
00:25:18,786 --> 00:25:21,021
It puts out
this vibration
676
00:25:21,054 --> 00:25:23,857
that relieves stress
and promotes relaxation.
677
00:25:23,891 --> 00:25:26,427
He's...
he's learning
to be a healer.
678
00:25:27,561 --> 00:25:29,763
Uh, but we're
just so proud
of him.
679
00:25:29,797 --> 00:25:31,031
You're so loud, Dad.
680
00:25:31,064 --> 00:25:32,433
Oh, sorry.
Oh, sorry,
sorry.
681
00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:34,903
Let me just...
Sorry. No, I'm
gonna close the...
682
00:25:34,935 --> 00:25:36,170
Play, boy, play.
683
00:25:36,203 --> 00:25:39,072
Play to soothe
the savage beast.
684
00:25:39,106 --> 00:25:40,841
Well, you don't have
to shut 'em.
685
00:25:42,142 --> 00:25:44,978
Wow! This house
is amazing!
686
00:25:45,012 --> 00:25:46,847
- Look at this!
- This is nothing.
687
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,248
You should see
the place in Aspen.
688
00:25:48,282 --> 00:25:50,984
Well, it's just,
you know...
689
00:25:51,018 --> 00:25:53,887
Yeah.
I love this
cocktail table.
690
00:25:53,922 --> 00:25:56,523
Oh, Sebastian!
691
00:25:56,557 --> 00:25:58,325
Good eye!
692
00:25:58,358 --> 00:26:01,829
The first
commercial coal mine
in the country was
693
00:26:01,862 --> 00:26:03,063
right down
the road
from here,
694
00:26:03,096 --> 00:26:06,066
and this piece is
made out
of the wood
695
00:26:06,099 --> 00:26:08,802
from one
of the original
mine cars.
696
00:26:08,836 --> 00:26:11,371
Drenched
in history.
Drenched.
697
00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:13,173
Good for you,
re-using old wood
like that.
698
00:26:13,207 --> 00:26:14,575
Yes.
This guy always
gets on me
699
00:26:14,608 --> 00:26:16,610
about picking up
trash and putting
it in the house.
700
00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:18,145
Trash?
701
00:26:18,178 --> 00:26:19,580
It's crazy, the stuff
that people throw
away these days.
702
00:26:19,613 --> 00:26:21,615
It sure beats
paying for it,
I mean, right?
703
00:26:21,648 --> 00:26:23,717
So, I... I take it.
Right.
704
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:26,053
Yes. Yes.
That is
705
00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:27,521
so true.
Yeah.
706
00:26:27,554 --> 00:26:30,290
Um, actually,
though, we did
pay for this one.
707
00:26:30,324 --> 00:26:32,359
A king's ransom,
708
00:26:32,392 --> 00:26:35,329
if I must say,
but at least
it's too rickety
709
00:26:35,362 --> 00:26:37,097
to put drinks on.
710
00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:38,499
Dad, that's
the worst.
711
00:26:38,532 --> 00:26:41,301
No, no, we just,
we wanted
something
712
00:26:41,335 --> 00:26:44,104
that matched
the art
in the room.
713
00:26:44,137 --> 00:26:45,272
Oh, good for you,
714
00:26:45,305 --> 00:26:47,307
hanging up
your kids'
art work like that.
715
00:26:47,341 --> 00:26:53,280
No, these are
original Grandma Moseses.
716
00:26:53,313 --> 00:26:54,381
Can you
believe it?
I'm... I'm sorry.
717
00:26:54,414 --> 00:26:55,883
We
found them...
I'm sorry.
718
00:26:55,917 --> 00:26:57,618
What?
I'm sorry.
I mean, I...
719
00:26:57,651 --> 00:26:59,319
I didn't mean
to insult your
grandmother.
720
00:26:59,353 --> 00:27:01,555
I meant
no disrespect.
I had no idea.
721
00:27:01,588 --> 00:27:03,123
I mean, what was
the matter with her?
722
00:27:03,156 --> 00:27:04,993
Was she a little...
723
00:27:05,025 --> 00:27:06,059
Oh, my God.
724
00:27:06,093 --> 00:27:07,728
Hey, who's hungry
for lunch?
725
00:27:07,761 --> 00:27:09,129
- I am.
- Me, me, me!
726
00:27:09,162 --> 00:27:10,731
We could all go
down to The Shack.
727
00:27:10,764 --> 00:27:12,766
Oh, Salvo,
you're gonna love The Shack!
What a great idea!
728
00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:26,747
It's me.
729
00:27:28,882 --> 00:27:31,184
Wow, this club
is huge, Bill.
730
00:27:31,218 --> 00:27:32,386
The way
you were
describing it,
731
00:27:32,419 --> 00:27:34,454
I expected
a place where
they're serving
732
00:27:34,488 --> 00:27:36,490
grilled cheese
out of a little
window, you know.
733
00:27:36,523 --> 00:27:39,459
Yes, I suppose
they've fixed it up
over the years.
734
00:27:39,493 --> 00:27:41,762
But to us
it will
always be...
735
00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:43,297
The Shack.
736
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:45,465
This place was
built by slaves.
737
00:27:45,499 --> 00:27:46,633
Douglass.
738
00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:49,102
What, I'm not allowed
to tell the truth now?
739
00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:50,871
How are we supposed
to confront our problems
740
00:27:50,905 --> 00:27:53,007
if we don't
talk about it, Dad?
741
00:27:53,041 --> 00:27:54,474
No, it's true.
It's true.
742
00:27:54,508 --> 00:27:57,244
The... Some
of the history
down here is
743
00:27:57,277 --> 00:27:58,378
just...
it's brutal.
744
00:27:58,412 --> 00:28:00,781
Mmm.
It's just
unthinkable.
745
00:28:02,649 --> 00:28:04,418
It's not on the menu,
but you can order
746
00:28:04,451 --> 00:28:06,420
the club sandwich
with lobster.
747
00:28:06,453 --> 00:28:08,355
You know, I can't
even bring
my girlfriend here
748
00:28:08,388 --> 00:28:09,756
because
I'm ashamed.
749
00:28:11,325 --> 00:28:12,961
She's
an African person.
750
00:28:12,994 --> 00:28:16,463
She is a person
emailing you from Africa,
751
00:28:16,496 --> 00:28:19,067
and to whom
you are sending
back money.
752
00:28:19,099 --> 00:28:20,400
We have
yet to confirm
753
00:28:20,434 --> 00:28:23,004
whether she's
a girl or a friend.
754
00:28:23,037 --> 00:28:25,039
Keep me safe
from negative energy.
755
00:28:25,073 --> 00:28:26,873
Hi, everyone.
Welcome
to White Oak.
756
00:28:26,908 --> 00:28:29,810
What can
I get you guys?
Oh, no bread, please.
757
00:28:29,843 --> 00:28:33,047
Um, do you have
those crackers?
The seedy ones?
758
00:28:33,081 --> 00:28:35,415
Of course.
Gloria, do you
have kombucha?
759
00:28:35,449 --> 00:28:38,118
I can check.
Does anyone
want in on this?
760
00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,820
Ever since I've
had kombucha,
761
00:28:39,853 --> 00:28:42,789
my BMs have been
...completely regular.
Oh. All right.
762
00:28:42,823 --> 00:28:45,325
I've had no problems.
All right.
Remember, Douglass,
763
00:28:45,359 --> 00:28:47,962
we don't talk about
our BMs at the table.
No.
764
00:28:47,996 --> 00:28:49,796
Before I was
drinking kombucha,
765
00:28:50,263 --> 00:28:52,066
my feces looked like
766
00:28:52,100 --> 00:28:54,102
ripped,
little pieces
of paper
767
00:28:54,134 --> 00:28:55,569
and then after
I started drinking,
768
00:28:55,602 --> 00:28:57,437
they're long,
soft logs.
769
00:28:57,471 --> 00:29:00,407
Well, all right.
Thank you for that.
770
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,476
Um, do you know
what you want,
Sebastian?
771
00:29:02,509 --> 00:29:04,444
Just a...
772
00:29:04,478 --> 00:29:06,680
- the Cobb salad.
- Good choice.
773
00:29:06,713 --> 00:29:08,482
What are you, one
of my sorority sisters?
774
00:29:08,515 --> 00:29:10,918
Is that all
you're gonna get?
775
00:29:10,952 --> 00:29:12,319
You're not
gonna get
a starter?
776
00:29:12,352 --> 00:29:14,221
Yeah, uh,
I'm just gonna
777
00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:15,422
stick with the middle
of the menu.
778
00:29:15,455 --> 00:29:17,257
All right,
suit yourself.
779
00:29:17,290 --> 00:29:18,592
Salvo, what are
you gonna get?
780
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:20,995
Gloria, I think
I'm gonna have the...
781
00:29:21,029 --> 00:29:23,064
the BLT with
the onion rings.
782
00:29:23,097 --> 00:29:25,332
But what's
the price
on that dish?
783
00:29:25,832 --> 00:29:27,001
Oh, no, we don't...
784
00:29:27,035 --> 00:29:31,238
Salvo, this may
sound very silly
785
00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:33,007
but we don't
like to put
prices on things,
786
00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:38,046
because it's just
an annoying reminder
of money. Right?
787
00:29:38,079 --> 00:29:39,646
Oh!
788
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,448
So, everything's
for free, you mean?
789
00:29:41,481 --> 00:29:44,317
No. No, it is
not free.
790
00:29:44,351 --> 00:29:45,886
I wish it were.
791
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,387
Nothing is free.
792
00:29:47,421 --> 00:29:49,790
So, what do they do?
I mean, they make up
a price, or...
793
00:29:49,823 --> 00:29:51,324
Oh, Dad, it's...
you know...
794
00:29:51,358 --> 00:29:52,526
Son, I'm talking
to Bill, here.
795
00:29:52,559 --> 00:29:53,961
Are you Bill?
Hello, Bill.
796
00:29:53,995 --> 00:29:55,295
It's fine.
797
00:29:55,328 --> 00:29:56,931
Everything has
a set price.
Mmm.
798
00:29:56,964 --> 00:29:59,466
And then they just
tally it up at the
end of the week,
799
00:29:59,499 --> 00:30:01,903
put it on my bill,
and it's
taken care of.
800
00:30:01,936 --> 00:30:03,303
Got it.
Okay, got it.
801
00:30:03,336 --> 00:30:04,705
Well, Gloria,
I would just
love to chat
802
00:30:04,738 --> 00:30:06,339
with somebody
who knows
the prices.
803
00:30:06,373 --> 00:30:07,641
Salvo, please.
804
00:30:07,674 --> 00:30:10,243
Please. It would
be our pleasure
to treat you.
805
00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:11,878
I would love that
and thank you, Tigger.
806
00:30:11,913 --> 00:30:14,614
But I think you do
way, way, way
too much, already.
807
00:30:14,648 --> 00:30:16,383
You're putting us
up in your home,
808
00:30:16,416 --> 00:30:18,953
that's enough already.
We want to at least,
you know, pay for the meal.
809
00:30:18,986 --> 00:30:20,721
It's not a big deal.
I know it's not
a big deal.
810
00:30:20,754 --> 00:30:22,222
Don't make
a big deal out
of it. It's all right.
811
00:30:22,255 --> 00:30:23,590
Don't worry
about it.
It's okay.
812
00:30:23,623 --> 00:30:25,692
So, Gloria,
just do me
a favor,
813
00:30:25,726 --> 00:30:27,294
find out how much
it is for the BLT.
814
00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:29,629
What did
you get again?
Just the Cobb salad.
815
00:30:29,663 --> 00:30:31,199
- Cobb salad.
- Please. Please,
816
00:30:31,231 --> 00:30:32,566
No, we'll take
care of it.
Just let us pay.
817
00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:33,867
It will be
so much easier...
Just let them pay.
818
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,669
...if you just
let them pay.
I can't let you.
819
00:30:35,702 --> 00:30:38,405
...taken care of it.
Dad, let them pay.
820
00:30:38,438 --> 00:30:40,174
Please let them pay.
Just let us pay.
821
00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:42,342
- I can't let you pay.
- It's so easy.
822
00:30:46,613 --> 00:30:48,950
I don't know
what you're
so upset about.
823
00:30:48,983 --> 00:30:50,985
I mean, I'm
a working guy.
824
00:30:51,018 --> 00:30:52,186
I like to pay
my own way.
825
00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:53,453
I don't want
to owe anybody
anything.
826
00:30:53,487 --> 00:30:55,156
I'm upset because
you're supposed
827
00:30:55,189 --> 00:30:56,656
to be getting
to know Ellie's family.
828
00:30:56,690 --> 00:30:58,558
And instead,
you made a big scene.
829
00:30:58,592 --> 00:31:00,827
So what? Who cares?
These people are strange.
830
00:31:00,861 --> 00:31:02,063
Yeah, you think
they are.
831
00:31:02,096 --> 00:31:03,830
They are strange.
Are you kidding me?
832
00:31:03,864 --> 00:31:05,766
They wanna take
a break from thinking
about money.
833
00:31:05,799 --> 00:31:07,367
Where I come from,
that's called dying.
834
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,137
All right, that's...
835
00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,338
It's a different life.
836
00:31:11,371 --> 00:31:12,806
But you still
gotta try.
837
00:31:13,507 --> 00:31:14,541
Try...
838
00:31:14,574 --> 00:31:16,210
I just don't
know, Sebastian,
I got to tell you.
839
00:31:16,244 --> 00:31:18,146
I don't know
how you're
gonna fit in.
840
00:31:18,179 --> 00:31:19,679
It ain't normal. I mean,
your mother and me,
841
00:31:19,713 --> 00:31:21,381
we didn't
raise you
this way, so...
842
00:31:21,414 --> 00:31:23,350
Yeah, you raised me
to marry an Italian
843
00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:24,851
who shouts
when she's happy,
844
00:31:24,885 --> 00:31:26,486
and grows hair
in places I didn't
even know could grow.
845
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,189
So what? That's
a real woman.
846
00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:29,589
Your mother was a real woman,
847
00:31:29,623 --> 00:31:31,358
who put real food
on the table,
848
00:31:31,391 --> 00:31:34,128
not somebody
who refuses
a bread basket.
849
00:31:34,162 --> 00:31:35,462
All right, Dad,
even I have to admit
850
00:31:35,495 --> 00:31:37,697
the crackers were awful.
It's like
eating birdseed.
851
00:31:37,731 --> 00:31:39,432
Yeah. I didn't know
whether to eat 'em
with my hands
852
00:31:39,466 --> 00:31:40,600
or just walk
around and...
853
00:31:44,371 --> 00:31:46,240
Exactly, and you notice
how they try to downplay
854
00:31:46,274 --> 00:31:47,474
how fancy it is?
855
00:31:47,507 --> 00:31:48,842
Oh, yeah.
"Excuse me?
856
00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:49,944
"I'm looking at this.
857
00:31:49,977 --> 00:31:52,345
"Excuse me.
I got eyes.
I can see. Hello."
858
00:31:52,379 --> 00:31:53,747
They walk around,
saying, "Oh, yes.
859
00:31:53,780 --> 00:31:56,250
"The house is
60,000 square feet,
860
00:31:56,284 --> 00:31:57,551
"with 13 bedrooms,
861
00:31:57,584 --> 00:31:59,853
"but we like it
because it's cozy."
862
00:31:59,886 --> 00:32:01,822
And then they do
the opposite
with the furniture.
863
00:32:01,855 --> 00:32:03,356
They make it sound
more important
864
00:32:03,390 --> 00:32:04,591
than it really is.
865
00:32:04,624 --> 00:32:06,493
It can't just be
like a regular chair.
866
00:32:06,526 --> 00:32:08,262
It's got to have like
a whole back story.
867
00:32:08,296 --> 00:32:09,429
Oh, yeah.
I mean, what...
868
00:32:09,462 --> 00:32:11,565
"This is the chair
Thomas Jefferson sat in
869
00:32:11,598 --> 00:32:13,800
"when he signed
the treaty of
Who-the-Hell-Cares?"
870
00:32:13,834 --> 00:32:16,503
"Well, the toilet is where
Abe Lincoln took a dump.
871
00:32:16,536 --> 00:32:17,905
"There's a plaque
right there."
872
00:32:17,939 --> 00:32:20,540
"Oh, do they got a place
for his hat in there, too?"
873
00:32:20,574 --> 00:32:22,043
I mean, I don't know
if I'm in a house
874
00:32:22,076 --> 00:32:23,510
or I'm in a museum.
875
00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:26,948
So, tell us,
what's new
in Chicago?
876
00:32:26,981 --> 00:32:28,548
How's the art?
877
00:32:28,582 --> 00:32:31,219
Well, it's, um...
Yes?
878
00:32:31,252 --> 00:32:32,686
It's great.
Yes.
879
00:32:32,719 --> 00:32:34,621
All my pieces
from my last show
880
00:32:34,654 --> 00:32:36,890
sold out at the opening.
I mean...
881
00:32:36,924 --> 00:32:39,126
Well, that's
something...
That's amazing!
882
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,460
...to crow about.
Yeah, right?
883
00:32:40,493 --> 00:32:43,331
So, now that
you're getting
all these contacts,
884
00:32:43,363 --> 00:32:46,200
you could probably
work from anywhere.
885
00:32:46,234 --> 00:32:49,769
Mom, stop, no.
Right, sweetie?
Right?
886
00:32:49,803 --> 00:32:51,838
Sebastian and I
love living
in Chicago.
887
00:32:51,872 --> 00:32:53,207
Oh.
888
00:32:53,241 --> 00:32:55,709
But we miss
having you
there in D.C.
889
00:32:55,742 --> 00:32:58,112
We really do.
We really do.
We do.
890
00:32:58,145 --> 00:32:59,347
These cheeks
aren't as fun
891
00:32:59,379 --> 00:33:00,647
to kiss
on FaceTime.
892
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,083
Oh, my God.
I want a cheek, too.
893
00:33:02,116 --> 00:33:03,416
Where's my cheek?
Where's my cheek?
894
00:33:03,450 --> 00:33:06,653
Excuse me. Excuse me.
895
00:33:06,686 --> 00:33:08,256
You guys aren't supposed
to be talking
896
00:33:08,289 --> 00:33:09,456
during a sound bath.
Oh, God.
897
00:33:09,489 --> 00:33:11,325
Oh, of course.
Sorry. Sorry,
Dougie.
898
00:33:11,359 --> 00:33:12,525
No. No, this is...
Sorry, sorry,
sorry.
899
00:33:12,559 --> 00:33:13,928
This is
wonderful.
900
00:33:13,961 --> 00:33:17,098
Please keep
bathing us
in sound.
901
00:33:17,131 --> 00:33:19,000
Yes.
Go, with
your... Yeah.
902
00:33:19,033 --> 00:33:22,069
Dad, listen. We're here
because I wanna marry Ellie.
903
00:33:22,103 --> 00:33:24,471
So, it don't matter
how it works
with these people.
904
00:33:24,504 --> 00:33:25,805
It works with her.
905
00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:27,741
So, come on.
Tomorrow, please,
906
00:33:27,774 --> 00:33:29,743
can you give
these people
a chance?
907
00:33:29,776 --> 00:33:32,812
Got it. Got it.
No problem, no problem.
908
00:33:32,846 --> 00:33:35,149
Because at the end
of the day, son,
it's your life.
909
00:33:36,616 --> 00:33:38,152
Night cologne?
Yep.
910
00:33:46,394 --> 00:33:48,495
Look at this.
Pink sheets?
911
00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:49,763
What?
912
00:33:51,198 --> 00:33:52,632
Well, we're
in a dollhouse.
913
00:33:56,304 --> 00:33:58,571
Mom, Dad,
I would love
914
00:33:58,605 --> 00:34:00,473
to live closer,
you know that.
915
00:34:00,507 --> 00:34:02,575
And?
But...
916
00:34:02,609 --> 00:34:04,844
Sebastian has
his dad,
917
00:34:04,878 --> 00:34:07,081
and a great job.
Yeah, working
918
00:34:07,114 --> 00:34:08,481
for the damn Hiltons.
919
00:34:08,515 --> 00:34:09,816
The Hiltons.
Such a good gig.
920
00:34:09,849 --> 00:34:11,584
Do you still have
to have herpes to work there?
921
00:34:11,618 --> 00:34:13,955
The point is...
Thank you
for that.
922
00:34:13,988 --> 00:34:16,656
...that he loves it,
923
00:34:16,690 --> 00:34:18,960
and I couldn't
just ask him
to leave.
924
00:34:18,993 --> 00:34:21,561
Sure, but that house
that you guys live in,
925
00:34:21,594 --> 00:34:24,165
it's so cramped.
We prefer "modest."
926
00:34:24,198 --> 00:34:26,733
You don't go
on vacations.
Because we're working.
927
00:34:26,766 --> 00:34:28,035
And
all that cologne?
928
00:34:28,069 --> 00:34:30,204
They made my chopper smell
like a Nordstrom's.
929
00:34:30,237 --> 00:34:31,538
God! I hate it
930
00:34:31,571 --> 00:34:34,442
when you guys
gang up on me
like this.
931
00:34:34,474 --> 00:34:36,710
It's not fair!
And like it or not,
932
00:34:37,111 --> 00:34:38,179
Mom, Dad,
933
00:34:39,313 --> 00:34:40,547
and Lucky...
Ow!
934
00:34:40,580 --> 00:34:42,749
Sebastian and I are
very happy together,
935
00:34:42,782 --> 00:34:45,086
and we're staying
in Chicago.
936
00:34:45,119 --> 00:34:46,553
I'm sorry, Dougie.
937
00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:48,688
Okay. I can't open
chakras like this.
938
00:34:48,722 --> 00:34:50,557
I'm gonna go
call my girlfriend.
939
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:53,027
Oh, no!
It's fine.
It's fine.
940
00:34:53,060 --> 00:34:54,494
Oh, shit!
941
00:34:55,229 --> 00:34:56,563
Bitcoin's down.
942
00:34:59,066 --> 00:35:00,900
Will you look at us?
Walking through
943
00:35:00,935 --> 00:35:04,372
a gated community
as guests.
944
00:35:04,405 --> 00:35:05,672
Not groundskeepers.
945
00:35:05,705 --> 00:35:07,341
Yeah. Well,
I just hope
946
00:35:07,375 --> 00:35:08,775
nothing gets stolen
this weekend,
947
00:35:08,808 --> 00:35:11,078
'cause these people
love to blame
the immigrants.
948
00:35:12,313 --> 00:35:13,513
Look at this one.
Look at this one.
949
00:35:13,546 --> 00:35:15,648
What'd she do?
Take the gym
equipment home?
950
00:35:15,682 --> 00:35:16,917
Morning!
Hello.
951
00:35:16,951 --> 00:35:18,452
Beautiful day,
isn't it?
Yeah.
952
00:35:18,486 --> 00:35:20,221
Beautiful.
Yeah. Yeah.
953
00:35:20,254 --> 00:35:22,456
You gotta be kidding me.
What the hell's her problem?
954
00:35:22,490 --> 00:35:24,058
"Beautiful day."
Give me a break.
955
00:35:24,091 --> 00:35:25,326
She's happy, Dad.
956
00:35:25,359 --> 00:35:28,362
She probably had
a father that let her
sleep in past 5:45.
957
00:35:28,396 --> 00:35:29,562
I mean, I can't
stop thinking
958
00:35:29,596 --> 00:35:30,897
about how much work
I'm missing.
959
00:35:30,931 --> 00:35:32,400
I could've done
four dyes
and a perm by now.
960
00:35:32,433 --> 00:35:34,567
Two electric bills
I could've paid. Two.
961
00:35:34,601 --> 00:35:36,270
Good morning.
Hello.
962
00:35:37,405 --> 00:35:39,006
"Good morning."
Come on.
963
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,409
What you talking about?
She's in a bathrobe.
I can't believe this.
964
00:35:41,442 --> 00:35:43,210
I mean, don't
these people
have jobs?
965
00:35:43,244 --> 00:35:44,611
It's a holiday weekend.
966
00:35:44,644 --> 00:35:46,846
Plus, they got
their money in
the stock market.
967
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,184
Not mayonnaise jars
buried in their backyard.
968
00:35:50,217 --> 00:35:52,286
Just relax.
Come on, Dad.
969
00:35:52,319 --> 00:35:55,089
It's a beautiful day!
970
00:36:02,430 --> 00:36:04,365
Back and forth,
back and forth.
971
00:36:04,398 --> 00:36:07,101
You play this game?
Come on.
972
00:36:07,134 --> 00:36:08,135
The outfits?
973
00:36:08,169 --> 00:36:10,071
The wives
with their culos
hanging out
974
00:36:10,104 --> 00:36:11,704
for everybody
to see?
975
00:36:11,738 --> 00:36:13,107
And when
they hit a ball,
it sounds like
976
00:36:13,140 --> 00:36:14,674
they're having
an orgasm. They're
hitting a ball.
977
00:36:15,875 --> 00:36:17,945
Come on. The only reason
I agreed to play is
978
00:36:17,978 --> 00:36:19,846
so you could spend
some time with Bill.
979
00:36:19,879 --> 00:36:21,581
So just relax
and do what
we came to do.
980
00:36:21,614 --> 00:36:22,782
Yeah, I am
relaxed.
981
00:36:22,816 --> 00:36:24,584
Look, I got
sandals on.
982
00:36:25,052 --> 00:36:26,253
I'm relaxed.
983
00:36:26,287 --> 00:36:28,655
You look like
the guy who killed
John Wick's dog.
984
00:36:28,688 --> 00:36:30,357
Who's that?
I don't even
know who that is.
985
00:36:32,692 --> 00:36:34,794
So Ellie tells me
you're quite the player.
986
00:36:34,828 --> 00:36:36,530
Yeah, I've taken
a couple lessons.
987
00:36:36,564 --> 00:36:38,199
Well, get ready
to bring it.
988
00:36:38,232 --> 00:36:40,434
I love my family
everywhere,
989
00:36:40,468 --> 00:36:42,702
except on
the tennis court.
990
00:36:42,735 --> 00:36:43,938
Chest-bump!
Oh, wow!
991
00:36:43,971 --> 00:36:46,373
Oh, jeez, that's
uncomfortable.
992
00:36:46,407 --> 00:36:48,275
Let's do this.
Mom, you ready?
993
00:36:56,584 --> 00:36:58,219
It's time
for tennis, baby!
994
00:36:59,587 --> 00:37:01,489
So, hey,
Bill...
Yeah?
995
00:37:01,522 --> 00:37:03,591
So how long
you been in the
hotel business?
996
00:37:03,623 --> 00:37:05,593
Oh, yes, well,
50 years.
997
00:37:05,625 --> 00:37:08,028
A long time.
My whole life.
Yeah.
998
00:37:08,996 --> 00:37:10,331
But then it's...
999
00:37:10,364 --> 00:37:12,799
I guess it's
a pretty exciting
thing to do.
1000
00:37:12,832 --> 00:37:14,602
I love it. I love it.
I got... I got hotel...
1001
00:37:14,634 --> 00:37:16,703
I got... I got
hotels in
my blood.
1002
00:37:16,736 --> 00:37:18,339
Just like
you have hair
in your blood.
1003
00:37:18,372 --> 00:37:19,706
Right? I mean...
1004
00:37:19,739 --> 00:37:22,709
Yo, Sea Bass.
Hope you got on
your oven mitts.
1005
00:37:22,742 --> 00:37:24,345
'Cause here comes the heat.
1006
00:37:24,378 --> 00:37:26,413
Oh.
1007
00:37:26,447 --> 00:37:29,049
- Oh, my God!
- Sorry.
1008
00:37:29,083 --> 00:37:30,717
What the hell was
that, Sebastian?
1009
00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:32,652
Ellie told me you had game.
1010
00:37:32,685 --> 00:37:34,121
Sorry.
Didn't
come easy.
1011
00:37:34,155 --> 00:37:36,023
I got, uh,
kicked out
of Harvard
1012
00:37:36,056 --> 00:37:37,857
for playing
the sax. I know,
it's a long story.
1013
00:37:37,891 --> 00:37:39,593
But my dad,
he got mad.
He said,
1014
00:37:39,627 --> 00:37:41,395
"That's it.
You make it
on your own."
1015
00:37:41,428 --> 00:37:44,031
He gave me
one hotel. One.
1016
00:37:44,064 --> 00:37:45,099
Wow.
Yeah.
1017
00:37:45,132 --> 00:37:46,833
That's
impressive.
Well...
1018
00:37:48,768 --> 00:37:50,371
My father
gave me
a mule.
1019
00:37:51,172 --> 00:37:52,439
Next day
it died.
1020
00:37:55,142 --> 00:37:56,243
Gah!
1021
00:37:56,277 --> 00:37:59,046
♪ Put the macaroni
in the pot and cook it♪
1022
00:38:01,681 --> 00:38:03,050
What's
that, Doug?
1023
00:38:03,083 --> 00:38:05,019
It's an adult
coloring book.
1024
00:38:08,289 --> 00:38:09,856
Hey,
man, you wanna
take a break
1025
00:38:09,889 --> 00:38:12,526
for some more water
or some more
tennis lessons?
1026
00:38:15,262 --> 00:38:17,431
What is going on?
1027
00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:18,698
What?
You love tennis,
1028
00:38:18,731 --> 00:38:20,034
and it's like
you're not even
trying out here.
1029
00:38:20,067 --> 00:38:21,602
Come on, it's
just a game.
1030
00:38:21,635 --> 00:38:22,970
Well...
1031
00:38:23,003 --> 00:38:24,271
All right.
At least
take off
1032
00:38:24,305 --> 00:38:25,805
this stupid
tracksuit.
No, it's cold.
1033
00:38:25,838 --> 00:38:27,107
Leave it on.
Leave it on.
You must be sweating...
1034
00:38:27,141 --> 00:38:28,708
No, I'm cold.
I'm cold.
...your tits off!
1035
00:38:28,741 --> 00:38:30,411
You're not cold.
1036
00:38:32,346 --> 00:38:34,781
Wait a sec. Are you
embarrassed to play
1037
00:38:34,814 --> 00:38:36,016
because your dad
is watching?
1038
00:38:36,050 --> 00:38:37,451
Listen, he's not
the biggest fan
1039
00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:38,718
of sports like this.
1040
00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:40,421
And I don't
really feel like
going over there
1041
00:38:40,454 --> 00:38:41,655
and explaining to him
1042
00:38:41,689 --> 00:38:43,657
that I'm paying a guy
to teach me how to play.
1043
00:38:43,691 --> 00:38:45,693
Well, you should know
that my mother is not
1044
00:38:45,725 --> 00:38:48,728
a "big fan"
of losing either.
1045
00:38:50,698 --> 00:38:53,234
Yeah.
1046
00:38:53,267 --> 00:38:55,636
Listen, at least
she stopped
chest-bumping me.
1047
00:38:55,669 --> 00:38:58,239
The only breasts
I wanna feel in
this family are yours.
1048
00:38:59,206 --> 00:39:00,507
Not if you lose.
1049
00:39:01,642 --> 00:39:03,510
Sebastian,
did Ellie
ever tell you
1050
00:39:03,544 --> 00:39:04,744
about the guy
she dated,
1051
00:39:04,777 --> 00:39:07,548
during her semester
abroad in Scotland?
1052
00:39:07,581 --> 00:39:09,782
Is that
Andy-frickin'-Murray?
1053
00:39:09,816 --> 00:39:12,653
Never lost
a match with him
on my team.
1054
00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:14,021
I wonder what
he's up to.
1055
00:39:14,054 --> 00:39:15,656
Hey, you know what?
I'll play with my weak hand.
1056
00:39:15,689 --> 00:39:18,125
That way
you guys have,
like, a shot.
1057
00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,095
Is that cool, Mom?
1058
00:39:21,128 --> 00:39:23,297
Until then,
my nightmare had been
1059
00:39:23,330 --> 00:39:26,367
letting my father
see me enjoy this life.
1060
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,042
So, much like the kick serve
1061
00:39:35,075 --> 00:39:38,746
I learned from a Swedish pro
named Johannes,
1062
00:39:38,778 --> 00:39:40,681
this would be the point
1063
00:39:40,714 --> 00:39:42,082
of no return.
1064
00:39:45,552 --> 00:39:46,920
Ooh!
1065
00:40:21,588 --> 00:40:22,990
Oh, no.
1066
00:40:23,390 --> 00:40:24,658
You see this?
1067
00:40:24,692 --> 00:40:27,328
- Crud!
- I am calm!
1068
00:40:27,361 --> 00:40:28,562
Serve!
1069
00:40:31,165 --> 00:40:33,233
This a game
you can
pick up fast?
1070
00:40:34,535 --> 00:40:35,835
Not at this level.
1071
00:40:41,342 --> 00:40:42,176
My, my.
1072
00:40:42,209 --> 00:40:44,844
Sebastian,
he's got game.
1073
00:40:44,877 --> 00:40:46,380
You must be
very proud.
1074
00:41:03,764 --> 00:41:05,766
Lucky! Are
you okay?
1075
00:41:05,799 --> 00:41:07,034
No, I'm not okay.
1076
00:41:07,067 --> 00:41:08,969
So sorry, Luck.
1077
00:41:09,002 --> 00:41:11,105
Oh, that's okay,
Sebastian.
1078
00:41:11,138 --> 00:41:12,673
I'm sure it was
an accident.
1079
00:41:12,706 --> 00:41:13,774
Oh, my God.
1080
00:41:13,807 --> 00:41:15,209
Quick! Bill!
1081
00:41:15,242 --> 00:41:18,579
Get a small cup
of ice water
for his testes.
1082
00:41:18,612 --> 00:41:19,747
- Here.
- What?
1083
00:41:19,780 --> 00:41:21,081
I'm way
ahead of you,
sweetheart.
1084
00:41:21,115 --> 00:41:22,349
No, no, no. no.
Here, this
is ice tea.
1085
00:41:22,383 --> 00:41:23,584
It's not gonna hurt.
Easy, son.
Rest easy.
1086
00:41:23,617 --> 00:41:24,852
Nice and cool.
We're gonna cool
1087
00:41:24,884 --> 00:41:26,520
my future
grandbabies.
Stop what you're doing!
1088
00:41:26,553 --> 00:41:28,088
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Do you want me
1089
00:41:28,122 --> 00:41:29,223
to squeeze one,
sweetie...
Take these. Hold these.
1090
00:41:29,256 --> 00:41:30,357
...just to feel
how it is?
Trust me.
1091
00:41:30,391 --> 00:41:32,092
- Don't touch.
- Oh, okay.
1092
00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,360
When did
you learn to play tennis
like that, anyway?
1093
00:41:33,394 --> 00:41:35,996
I took a few lessons
for Ellie, all right?
1094
00:41:36,029 --> 00:41:37,064
It's not that big
of a deal.
1095
00:41:37,097 --> 00:41:38,399
So how much
this cost you?
1096
00:41:38,432 --> 00:41:40,300
To all
the immigrant kids watching,
1097
00:41:40,334 --> 00:41:42,469
you know when
you get that question,
1098
00:41:42,503 --> 00:41:44,538
you always give them
the parent price.
1099
00:41:44,571 --> 00:41:45,606
Uh, $40.
1100
00:41:45,639 --> 00:41:46,974
Forty? You're
telling me
1101
00:41:47,007 --> 00:41:48,041
you paid the price
1102
00:41:48,075 --> 00:41:49,176
of a long hair blowout
1103
00:41:49,209 --> 00:41:51,512
for somebody
to teach you
a game?
1104
00:41:51,545 --> 00:41:52,846
I mean,
what am
I gonna say?
1105
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,182
Now, just imagine
how he'd react if I told him
1106
00:41:55,215 --> 00:41:57,217
the actual price was 80.
1107
00:41:57,251 --> 00:41:59,987
Next thing I know,
you'll be serving me
the bird crackers.
1108
00:42:01,321 --> 00:42:03,323
Son, serve me
the bird crackers.
Come on.
1109
00:42:04,024 --> 00:42:05,826
It's a hobby, Dad.
1110
00:42:05,859 --> 00:42:07,728
A lot of people have
them, all right?
1111
00:42:07,761 --> 00:42:09,062
Stop acting
like I'm
joining a cult.
1112
00:42:09,096 --> 00:42:10,130
Well, it is a cult.
1113
00:42:10,164 --> 00:42:11,565
Only instead
of Kool-Aid,
1114
00:42:11,598 --> 00:42:12,699
they're serving
champagne.
1115
00:42:12,733 --> 00:42:14,935
Mmm.
1116
00:42:16,737 --> 00:42:17,771
Welcome,
everyone,
1117
00:42:17,805 --> 00:42:18,839
to the
S.S. Collins.
1118
00:42:18,872 --> 00:42:21,675
Uh, fun fact.
I won this boat,
1119
00:42:21,708 --> 00:42:22,943
playing
backgammon
1120
00:42:22,976 --> 00:42:24,244
with Sir Richard Branson.
1121
00:42:24,278 --> 00:42:26,780
So for us,
every voyage is
a Virgin one.
1122
00:42:28,482 --> 00:42:29,616
Good one, sir.
Thanks.
1123
00:42:29,650 --> 00:42:31,151
Now, Bill and I
have been talking,
1124
00:42:31,185 --> 00:42:33,787
and we were
going to wait
1125
00:42:33,821 --> 00:42:35,322
until the weekend
to do this,
1126
00:42:35,355 --> 00:42:37,691
but, um,
now we're just
too excited.
1127
00:42:37,724 --> 00:42:39,827
All right.
Uh, Sebastian,
1128
00:42:39,860 --> 00:42:42,262
as a lifelong
hotelier,
1129
00:42:42,296 --> 00:42:44,765
and the father
of the most
wonderful girl
1130
00:42:44,798 --> 00:42:46,266
in the world...
I love you.
1131
00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:48,335
...I have to say,
it just killed me...
1132
00:42:48,368 --> 00:42:50,604
killed...
Kills us.
Kills us. Yes.
1133
00:42:50,637 --> 00:42:51,805
We are dead,
1134
00:42:51,839 --> 00:42:54,141
thinking that
you are working
1135
00:42:54,174 --> 00:42:55,910
for our
biggest
competitor.
1136
00:42:55,944 --> 00:42:57,611
So...
Go on.
1137
00:42:57,644 --> 00:42:58,712
Shall I?
Yes.
1138
00:42:58,745 --> 00:43:00,180
Right now?
Please do.
1139
00:43:00,214 --> 00:43:01,982
Okay.
Daddy,
what is it?
1140
00:43:02,015 --> 00:43:05,352
On behalf
of the Collins
Hotel group,
1141
00:43:05,385 --> 00:43:07,221
I would love you
to join our side
1142
00:43:07,254 --> 00:43:09,289
and become
the new face
1143
00:43:09,323 --> 00:43:12,226
of the luxurious
five-star experience,
1144
00:43:12,259 --> 00:43:14,161
that is...
drum roll,
1145
00:43:16,830 --> 00:43:18,098
The Barrymore Hotel.
1146
00:43:18,131 --> 00:43:19,166
Go on. Yeah.
1147
00:43:19,199 --> 00:43:20,300
Not kidding.
1148
00:43:20,334 --> 00:43:22,202
What?
Are you serious?
1149
00:43:22,236 --> 00:43:23,537
Not kidding.
Very serious.
1150
00:43:23,570 --> 00:43:25,272
This is
your signature property.
1151
00:43:25,305 --> 00:43:27,074
The most
prestigious hotel
in D.C.
1152
00:43:27,107 --> 00:43:28,275
Yeah,
it better be.
We just spent
1153
00:43:28,308 --> 00:43:30,444
$240 million
restoring it.
1154
00:43:30,477 --> 00:43:33,247
Uh, Dad, I thought
you were saving
that job for me.
1155
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:34,983
We regularly drug test.
1156
00:43:35,015 --> 00:43:37,050
Oh. Okay then.
1157
00:43:37,084 --> 00:43:39,119
Mom, Dad,
this is
so generous.
1158
00:43:39,152 --> 00:43:40,454
We
wouldn't do this
1159
00:43:40,487 --> 00:43:43,190
if we didn't think
he was perfect
for the job.
1160
00:43:43,223 --> 00:43:45,192
Come on, let's
go get some
more champagne.
1161
00:43:45,225 --> 00:43:46,260
Let's take a look.
I mean...
1162
00:43:46,293 --> 00:43:47,494
Let's take
a look at...
What?
1163
00:43:47,528 --> 00:43:48,862
...what you're...
I can't
believe this.
1164
00:43:48,896 --> 00:43:49,998
...going to be
the new manager of.
1165
00:43:50,030 --> 00:43:51,498
Now this was
built in 1896.
1166
00:43:51,532 --> 00:43:53,367
It's been
completely
restored,
1167
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,036
down to the dings
and the doorknobs.
1168
00:43:57,571 --> 00:43:59,540
Take a look.
No, they're all...
Everything.
1169
00:43:59,573 --> 00:44:02,142
Hey, uh, Doug,
what are you doing?
1170
00:44:02,175 --> 00:44:04,478
Just getting
the blood flowing.
1171
00:44:05,512 --> 00:44:07,114
Your face is
getting a little red.
1172
00:44:07,681 --> 00:44:09,583
Yeah, I... I feel dizzy.
1173
00:44:10,450 --> 00:44:12,052
Yeah, me, too.
1174
00:44:12,085 --> 00:44:14,154
Oh, that's the
Jackie Onassis
boardroom.
1175
00:44:14,187 --> 00:44:16,423
She was never there,
but we wish she would
have been.
1176
00:44:18,026 --> 00:44:20,360
This painting
in the lobby
here looks...
1177
00:44:20,394 --> 00:44:23,897
Yes, we... There's art.
Oh, we have... Yes.
1178
00:44:23,932 --> 00:44:25,299
This painting
in the board room.
1179
00:44:25,332 --> 00:44:27,501
Yeah, there's
a painting.
I recognize that sunset.
1180
00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,870
Wait a minute.
Did you buy
Ellie's paintings?
1181
00:44:29,904 --> 00:44:32,205
Does she know?
We bought a few
1182
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,074
through this designer
that we know,
1183
00:44:34,107 --> 00:44:35,509
it's no big deal.
1184
00:44:35,542 --> 00:44:38,913
We're supporting
our baby's dream.
1185
00:44:38,947 --> 00:44:41,114
Let's close this.
1186
00:44:41,148 --> 00:44:42,349
A little champagne.
1187
00:44:42,382 --> 00:44:44,151
Oh, good.
I'll have some.
I'll have some.
1188
00:44:44,184 --> 00:44:45,686
Excuse me, Daddy.
1189
00:44:47,754 --> 00:44:49,523
So, what are
you thinking?
1190
00:44:49,556 --> 00:44:51,525
Yeah, well, Bill,
that's a very
generous offer,
1191
00:44:51,558 --> 00:44:54,494
but Sebastian
obviously has to
think about that.
1192
00:44:54,528 --> 00:44:55,395
Right?
1193
00:44:55,429 --> 00:44:57,097
Yeah.
Absolutely, Dad.
Yeah.
1194
00:44:57,130 --> 00:44:59,333
Of course.
This would be
1195
00:44:59,366 --> 00:45:00,901
a big move
for everyone,
1196
00:45:00,935 --> 00:45:03,637
so please,
take your time.
1197
00:45:03,670 --> 00:45:04,771
Talk it over.
Right.
1198
00:45:04,805 --> 00:45:06,740
And then tell us
what day to send
the moving trucks.
1199
00:45:08,308 --> 00:45:10,243
Dad.
1200
00:45:10,277 --> 00:45:13,180
Oh, this is
so cool!
So cool!
1201
00:45:13,213 --> 00:45:14,848
Hey, as
a possible member
1202
00:45:14,881 --> 00:45:17,818
of our, um,
family company,
1203
00:45:17,851 --> 00:45:20,054
how about we celebrate with
a little jet-booting, huh?
1204
00:45:20,088 --> 00:45:21,888
Oh, that sounds
great, man.
Count me in.
1205
00:45:21,923 --> 00:45:23,457
What's jet-booting?
1206
00:45:24,791 --> 00:45:27,260
Whoo! Whoa!
1207
00:45:27,294 --> 00:45:29,363
This is amazing, Lucky!
1208
00:45:29,396 --> 00:45:30,999
All right! Look at you.
1209
00:45:31,032 --> 00:45:33,166
Baby, you're doing so good!
1210
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,535
I feel like I'm flying! Whoa!
1211
00:45:35,569 --> 00:45:37,571
Use your core!
I'm actually smiling.
1212
00:45:37,604 --> 00:45:39,974
This smile is real.
1213
00:45:41,174 --> 00:45:42,409
Salvo, would
you like
1214
00:45:42,442 --> 00:45:44,244
to borrow some
swim trunks?
1215
00:45:44,277 --> 00:45:46,080
We have
a hot tub
upstairs.
1216
00:45:46,114 --> 00:45:47,781
I'm fine.
I'm trying
to watch him.
1217
00:45:47,814 --> 00:45:49,383
Oh.
Make sure
he's okay.
1218
00:45:50,550 --> 00:45:52,152
Hey...
1219
00:45:52,185 --> 00:45:53,988
I just wanted
to thank you
1220
00:45:54,022 --> 00:45:57,125
for looking
after Ellie
in Chicago.
1221
00:45:57,157 --> 00:45:59,826
We feel so lucky
she's met your son.
1222
00:45:59,860 --> 00:46:01,428
Well, he's a good kid. Thanks.
1223
00:46:01,461 --> 00:46:02,796
I'm king
of the world!
1224
00:46:02,829 --> 00:46:04,631
Always out making
an ass of himself.
1225
00:46:07,434 --> 00:46:09,202
I know
you guys are close,
1226
00:46:09,236 --> 00:46:12,539
so if they do
end up in D.C.,
1227
00:46:12,572 --> 00:46:15,575
I promise we will
take good care of him.
1228
00:46:15,609 --> 00:46:17,177
Honestly, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.
1229
00:46:17,210 --> 00:46:20,081
I can't imagine Sebastian
ever leaving Chicago or me.
1230
00:46:20,114 --> 00:46:21,648
'Cause I'm
the only family
he's got.
1231
00:46:22,883 --> 00:46:25,485
I used to say
the same thing
about Ellie.
1232
00:46:28,722 --> 00:46:31,358
Hey, Dad!
Check it out!
I can dive!
1233
00:46:34,327 --> 00:46:37,131
Look at that.
He's very athletic.
He's quite good.
1234
00:46:37,165 --> 00:46:38,532
Dad!
1235
00:46:38,565 --> 00:46:39,866
Yeah, he gets it
from my side.
1236
00:46:39,900 --> 00:46:41,268
Whoa!
1237
00:46:42,269 --> 00:46:43,905
Whoo-hoo!
1238
00:46:43,938 --> 00:46:45,238
Look at this!
1239
00:46:47,008 --> 00:46:48,508
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, shit!
1240
00:46:49,609 --> 00:46:51,211
Sebastian,
your suit!
It's Versace.
1241
00:46:51,244 --> 00:46:52,345
Do you like it?
1242
00:46:52,379 --> 00:46:54,448
No, you moron!
It's not up!
1243
00:46:54,481 --> 00:46:56,918
- Look down!
- Oh, God!
1244
00:46:56,951 --> 00:46:59,153
Hey, Bubba Gump! Nice shrimp!
1245
00:46:59,187 --> 00:47:01,254
I can't get it. Whoa!
1246
00:47:01,621 --> 00:47:02,823
Oh!
1247
00:47:02,856 --> 00:47:03,890
Whoa! You good, man?
1248
00:47:05,492 --> 00:47:06,961
What's the matter
with you?
1249
00:47:06,994 --> 00:47:08,328
Pull up your pants!
1250
00:47:08,361 --> 00:47:10,064
I can't reach it.
1251
00:47:10,098 --> 00:47:12,866
Hey, what the hell
do I do?
1252
00:47:12,899 --> 00:47:14,835
Son, your sail
is at half-mast.
1253
00:47:14,868 --> 00:47:17,671
Oh, no, no, uh,
it looks like
it's full mast.
1254
00:47:17,704 --> 00:47:18,805
Oh, no!
1255
00:47:22,110 --> 00:47:23,343
Sebastian!
1256
00:47:23,376 --> 00:47:25,046
No, no.
Okay, don't...
No!
1257
00:47:25,079 --> 00:47:26,180
Stay down!
No, no. No.
1258
00:47:26,214 --> 00:47:27,982
Stay down.
Stay down.
No!
1259
00:47:28,015 --> 00:47:29,150
Okay. Okay.
God!
1260
00:47:29,183 --> 00:47:30,717
All right,
that is not
appropriate.
1261
00:47:30,751 --> 00:47:33,253
- I'm going to be sick.
- No, it's...
1262
00:47:33,286 --> 00:47:35,589
Honey, my mom
can't unsee that.
1263
00:47:37,357 --> 00:47:39,659
Hey, Sea Bass!
Say hi to TikTok.
1264
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,168
Dad, what
the hell you doing?
1265
00:47:47,201 --> 00:47:48,468
Packing.
1266
00:47:48,502 --> 00:47:50,504
I'm going back
to Chicago
tomorrow morning.
1267
00:47:50,537 --> 00:47:52,272
What, are you crazy?
We're not leaving.
1268
00:47:52,305 --> 00:47:53,941
You didn't even
give me the ring yet.
1269
00:47:53,975 --> 00:47:56,043
Trust me.
What I saw today,
1270
00:47:56,077 --> 00:47:57,878
you don't come back from.
1271
00:47:57,912 --> 00:47:59,379
Oh, stop being
so dramatic.
1272
00:47:59,412 --> 00:48:00,948
It was from far away.
1273
00:48:00,982 --> 00:48:02,116
Nobody saw much.
1274
00:48:02,150 --> 00:48:03,450
Yeah, that's for sure.
1275
00:48:03,483 --> 00:48:05,318
Look, I know
I haven't seen
you naked
1276
00:48:05,352 --> 00:48:06,988
since the delivery room,
but is it possible
1277
00:48:07,021 --> 00:48:09,422
your pisellino hasn't
even grown since then?
1278
00:48:09,456 --> 00:48:11,192
Would you put
the suitcase away?
1279
00:48:11,225 --> 00:48:12,659
No, I'm gonna
bring you home,
1280
00:48:12,692 --> 00:48:14,262
set you up
with some
Italian girls,
1281
00:48:14,294 --> 00:48:15,562
help you
start over fresh.
1282
00:48:15,595 --> 00:48:17,631
And I even got
a nice new
hairstyle for you.
1283
00:48:17,664 --> 00:48:19,599
Dad, I'm in love with Ellie.
That wouldn't change
1284
00:48:19,633 --> 00:48:21,936
if I accidentally showed
my balls to the entire world.
1285
00:48:21,969 --> 00:48:23,971
Oh, is that what
you got planned
for tomorrow?
1286
00:48:24,005 --> 00:48:25,605
Son, you gotta
stop pretending
1287
00:48:25,639 --> 00:48:28,042
that you fit in
with these people,
because you don't.
1288
00:48:28,075 --> 00:48:29,509
I'm not pretending.
1289
00:48:29,543 --> 00:48:31,344
Are you serious?
I mean, every time
you're with this family,
1290
00:48:31,378 --> 00:48:32,479
you make a fool of yourself.
1291
00:48:32,512 --> 00:48:34,081
Because you raised me
1292
00:48:34,115 --> 00:48:36,217
to be afraid
of trying anything new.
1293
00:48:36,250 --> 00:48:37,952
I mean, God.
Dad, listen,
1294
00:48:37,985 --> 00:48:40,754
I honestly...
I was nervous
to bring you here.
1295
00:48:40,787 --> 00:48:42,389
'Cause I knew
you would just
sit here,
1296
00:48:42,422 --> 00:48:44,292
and judge
with your black shirt,
1297
00:48:44,324 --> 00:48:45,392
your zipper purse,
1298
00:48:45,425 --> 00:48:46,726
your resting bitch face.
1299
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:48,595
Hey, I don't have
resting bitch face.
1300
00:48:48,628 --> 00:48:50,597
We look like
Italian gargoyles.
1301
00:48:50,630 --> 00:48:52,033
You look
like you're
gonna murder
1302
00:48:52,066 --> 00:48:54,135
the entire
neighborhood.
1303
00:48:54,168 --> 00:48:55,702
You know what
your problem is?
1304
00:48:55,735 --> 00:48:58,405
You're so negative,
you can't let yourself
enjoy anything,
1305
00:48:58,438 --> 00:49:00,041
so you think I can't either.
1306
00:49:01,075 --> 00:49:04,078
Dad, Ellie is my future.
1307
00:49:04,111 --> 00:49:07,647
And I'm gonna keep
an open mind
about everything.
1308
00:49:07,681 --> 00:49:10,084
Whoa, whoa. What do
you mean, everything?
1309
00:49:10,117 --> 00:49:12,253
Even the job offer?
Maybe.
1310
00:49:12,286 --> 00:49:13,520
It's a pretty good one.
1311
00:49:15,856 --> 00:49:16,924
Unbelievable.
1312
00:49:17,457 --> 00:49:18,692
Unbelievable.
1313
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,661
Unbelievable.
1314
00:49:25,665 --> 00:49:27,868
First, your mother is
taken away from me.
1315
00:49:27,901 --> 00:49:29,502
Now you wanna leave.
1316
00:49:29,536 --> 00:49:31,872
I'm not leaving you, Dad.
1317
00:49:31,906 --> 00:49:34,674
Ellie's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
1318
00:49:34,708 --> 00:49:36,676
And when
I get married, not if,
1319
00:49:36,710 --> 00:49:40,547
her family is going to be
a big part of the package.
1320
00:49:40,580 --> 00:49:43,217
Now, I want you
to be a part of my life.
1321
00:49:43,251 --> 00:49:45,685
But if that's gonna happen,
you gotta give me some effort.
1322
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:49,323
I wanna see
the Salvo at the salon
1323
00:49:49,357 --> 00:49:51,458
that everybody loves.
1324
00:49:51,491 --> 00:49:52,994
And if I don't,
I got no choice
1325
00:49:53,027 --> 00:49:54,561
but to leave you behind.
1326
00:49:59,399 --> 00:50:02,502
I don't know.
How can you say that?
How can you say that?
1327
00:50:02,535 --> 00:50:05,973
How could you say that
to your father?
1328
00:50:07,574 --> 00:50:10,044
You got no respect
for your family.
1329
00:50:10,077 --> 00:50:12,980
I got enough respect to know
we could go to bed angry
1330
00:50:14,348 --> 00:50:16,984
but not stinky.
Come on.
1331
00:50:18,718 --> 00:50:20,787
Now, come on,
let's do our
night spritz.
1332
00:50:27,794 --> 00:50:30,932
I miss you, and I wish
you were here for
so many reasons.
1333
00:50:30,965 --> 00:50:32,832
So many reasons, just...
1334
00:50:32,866 --> 00:50:35,602
For one, just tell me,
am I being an asshole?
1335
00:50:35,635 --> 00:50:38,872
Are we really doing
the right thing
for our son?
1336
00:50:38,906 --> 00:50:41,909
Just give me
some kind of sign,
something.
1337
00:50:42,243 --> 00:50:43,510
Please?
1338
00:50:43,543 --> 00:50:45,179
Just let me know
what you think.
1339
00:50:46,047 --> 00:50:47,647
I... I...
1340
00:50:47,681 --> 00:50:49,449
Give me some sign, honey.
1341
00:51:08,336 --> 00:51:09,836
I love you.
1342
00:51:09,869 --> 00:51:11,604
Hi, Doug.
1343
00:51:12,639 --> 00:51:14,507
Hello.
What are you doing?
1344
00:51:14,541 --> 00:51:17,011
I was just serenading
the peacocks.
1345
00:51:17,811 --> 00:51:18,878
Oh.
1346
00:51:21,614 --> 00:51:23,516
Would you be
open enough
1347
00:51:23,550 --> 00:51:26,387
to doing
a healing session
with me?
1348
00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:27,455
A healing session?
1349
00:51:27,487 --> 00:51:29,589
It'll be
very beneficial for you.
1350
00:51:31,359 --> 00:51:32,460
Well, that's a nice offer,
1351
00:51:32,492 --> 00:51:33,760
but I don't know
if I even know
1352
00:51:33,793 --> 00:51:34,962
what you're talking about.
1353
00:51:34,996 --> 00:51:38,598
Well, just start
by shutting your eyes,
1354
00:51:39,266 --> 00:51:41,035
and then,
really,
just focus
1355
00:51:41,068 --> 00:51:42,535
on your breathing.
1356
00:51:42,569 --> 00:51:43,870
In your nose.
1357
00:51:44,472 --> 00:51:45,772
Out your nose.
1358
00:51:46,474 --> 00:51:48,875
And if you can,
1359
00:51:48,909 --> 00:51:52,712
really try to connect
to that little Salvo,
1360
00:51:52,746 --> 00:51:55,182
that was afraid
when you were young.
1361
00:51:56,384 --> 00:51:58,386
I don't even know
where he is anymore.
1362
00:51:58,419 --> 00:52:00,087
That's so long ago.
1363
00:52:00,121 --> 00:52:02,756
You know, I'm in another...
I'm in another life.
1364
00:52:04,591 --> 00:52:07,395
Let me help you
find him, okay?
1365
00:52:07,428 --> 00:52:09,030
Just stay with your breath.
1366
00:52:16,603 --> 00:52:19,073
Heal, little Salvo.
Okay, I feel better.
1367
00:52:20,540 --> 00:52:21,775
You do?
Mmm-hmm.
1368
00:52:21,808 --> 00:52:23,277
Yeah. Thanks.
Okay.
1369
00:52:23,310 --> 00:52:25,112
I'm gonna
go to sleep.
Okay.
1370
00:52:25,146 --> 00:52:25,980
Thank you.
Good night.
1371
00:52:26,013 --> 00:52:27,714
Good night.
Good night, Doug.
1372
00:52:27,747 --> 00:52:29,316
I'm glad
I could help.
Thank you. Yeah.
1373
00:52:29,350 --> 00:52:31,551
Thank you.
Big help.
1374
00:52:33,254 --> 00:52:35,855
Yesterday was
a day of regrettable firsts.
1375
00:52:36,524 --> 00:52:37,857
I yelled at my father
1376
00:52:37,891 --> 00:52:41,195
and I showed my balls
to my future in-laws.
1377
00:52:41,228 --> 00:52:42,263
But who knows?
1378
00:52:42,296 --> 00:52:44,231
Maybe everybody forgot?
1379
00:52:44,265 --> 00:52:46,866
Well, there's
the big swimmer.
1380
00:52:46,900 --> 00:52:48,502
Hey, did you
see the full moon
last night?
1381
00:52:48,536 --> 00:52:50,337
Okay. Just...
I'm talking about
your butt.
1382
00:52:50,371 --> 00:52:51,939
All right.
Ignore him.
1383
00:52:51,972 --> 00:52:53,740
His butt cheeks
are the full moon.
Yes, I understand.
1384
00:52:53,773 --> 00:52:56,377
Um, how you
doing, kiddo?
1385
00:52:56,410 --> 00:52:58,345
- I'm all right.
- Good.
1386
00:52:58,379 --> 00:52:59,914
- Have you seen my dad?
- Yes.
1387
00:52:59,947 --> 00:53:01,581
He is out
taking a walk
1388
00:53:01,614 --> 00:53:02,882
with Ellie, Doug
and Tigger.
1389
00:53:02,917 --> 00:53:04,418
- A walk?
- Yes, he was...
1390
00:53:04,452 --> 00:53:05,685
- he was...
- Well, here.
1391
00:53:05,718 --> 00:53:06,886
- Speak of the devil.
- So I says to him...
1392
00:53:06,921 --> 00:53:08,923
I says, "Why would I
buy you a skateboard
1393
00:53:08,956 --> 00:53:10,191
"when I can build you one?"
1394
00:53:10,224 --> 00:53:13,127
Holy Mother of God.
1395
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:14,528
Sleepy head,
I was just
telling 'em
1396
00:53:14,562 --> 00:53:15,695
about the time
I gave you
a skateboard
1397
00:53:15,728 --> 00:53:16,763
for Christmas.
You remember that?
1398
00:53:16,796 --> 00:53:18,132
Ah, I remember
that. Yeah.
1399
00:53:18,165 --> 00:53:19,732
What time
did you get up
anyway?
1400
00:53:19,766 --> 00:53:21,368
I got up early.
I didn't want
to wake you,
1401
00:53:21,402 --> 00:53:22,436
so I snuck out,
1402
00:53:22,470 --> 00:53:24,472
did my laundry,
watched TV,
1403
00:53:24,505 --> 00:53:26,240
fixed one
of their bannisters,
1404
00:53:26,273 --> 00:53:27,575
reorganized
the spice rack.
1405
00:53:27,607 --> 00:53:28,641
Then when
the sun came up,
1406
00:53:28,675 --> 00:53:30,211
I started making
breakfast.
1407
00:53:30,244 --> 00:53:32,313
Then I went
for a walk to get
to know the family.
1408
00:53:32,346 --> 00:53:33,581
Good people,
these Collins.
1409
00:53:33,613 --> 00:53:36,117
Good people.
Even the commie.
1410
00:53:36,150 --> 00:53:37,118
Oh, I'm
a socialist.
1411
00:53:37,151 --> 00:53:38,718
Well, whatever
you say,
Che Guevara.
1412
00:53:38,751 --> 00:53:41,021
Oh, that's funny.
1413
00:53:42,590 --> 00:53:44,858
Get over here.
1414
00:53:44,891 --> 00:53:46,759
What the hell's going on?
What do you mean,
what's going on?
1415
00:53:46,793 --> 00:53:48,095
I'm doing what
you asked me to do.
1416
00:53:48,129 --> 00:53:49,863
Making an effort,
like you asked.
1417
00:53:49,896 --> 00:53:52,399
Okay. No, I appreciate it.
But Jesus, the shorts.
1418
00:53:52,433 --> 00:53:53,501
Yeah. So what?
1419
00:53:53,534 --> 00:53:54,734
I've never seen
your legs before.
1420
00:53:54,767 --> 00:53:56,003
Yeah, you haven't.
1421
00:53:56,036 --> 00:53:57,238
That's right.
They're not
too bad.
1422
00:53:57,271 --> 00:53:58,872
They look like
pretzel sticks
in socks.
1423
00:53:58,906 --> 00:54:00,107
Don't blame me.
This is what
1424
00:54:00,141 --> 00:54:01,509
these people
gave me,
you know?
1425
00:54:01,542 --> 00:54:04,578
What can I tell you?
I want to join the fun.
1426
00:54:04,612 --> 00:54:06,514
And I feel great,
and I can't wait
1427
00:54:06,547 --> 00:54:07,847
to see what the
universe suggests
1428
00:54:07,881 --> 00:54:09,749
after I opened
my eyes.
1429
00:54:09,782 --> 00:54:11,851
We did
a healing session
together.
1430
00:54:11,885 --> 00:54:14,522
Yeah. Little Salvo's
not afraid anymore.
1431
00:54:14,555 --> 00:54:16,557
Little Salvo?
Yeah.
1432
00:54:16,590 --> 00:54:18,192
I hope
everyone's ready
1433
00:54:18,225 --> 00:54:19,759
for Family Fun Day.
1434
00:54:19,792 --> 00:54:20,961
I am. I am.
1435
00:54:20,995 --> 00:54:22,363
Oh,
what's Family Fun Day?
1436
00:54:22,396 --> 00:54:23,597
What?
What, are you dense?
1437
00:54:23,631 --> 00:54:25,366
Everything you
need to know
is in the name.
1438
00:54:25,399 --> 00:54:26,666
Duh!
Duh!
1439
00:54:26,699 --> 00:54:28,035
- Okay.
- Salud!
1440
00:54:28,068 --> 00:54:29,236
What the hell
is this?
1441
00:54:29,270 --> 00:54:30,571
It's a big
4th of July tradition.
1442
00:54:30,604 --> 00:54:33,140
There's relay races,
and croquet,
1443
00:54:33,174 --> 00:54:34,341
and face painting,
1444
00:54:34,375 --> 00:54:35,643
and a hot dog
eating contest.
1445
00:54:35,675 --> 00:54:37,144
It's just a lot of fun.
1446
00:54:43,050 --> 00:54:44,451
I know
I'd asked the man
1447
00:54:44,485 --> 00:54:45,685
to start making an effort,
1448
00:54:45,718 --> 00:54:47,121
but this was crazy.
1449
00:54:47,154 --> 00:54:49,689
I felt like
I created a monster.
1450
00:54:49,722 --> 00:54:51,791
Except instead
of looking scary,
1451
00:54:51,824 --> 00:54:55,095
he was smiling, playing games,
1452
00:54:55,129 --> 00:54:57,565
dressing like
the American flag.
1453
00:54:57,598 --> 00:54:58,731
All right!
1454
00:54:58,765 --> 00:55:00,935
The Maniscalcos.
1455
00:55:00,968 --> 00:55:03,237
What's your
angle here?
No angle. I'm happy.
1456
00:55:03,270 --> 00:55:04,505
I'm with my family.
1457
00:55:04,538 --> 00:55:05,573
Say, "Fireworks."
1458
00:55:05,606 --> 00:55:07,707
Fireworks.
Chee... Say firework.
1459
00:55:11,612 --> 00:55:13,113
It's like bocce with sticks.
1460
00:55:15,782 --> 00:55:17,418
All right.
You wanna
take a look?
1461
00:55:18,718 --> 00:55:20,421
Nice.
Right?
1462
00:55:20,454 --> 00:55:22,289
And the winner
of this year's
1463
00:55:22,323 --> 00:55:26,060
4th of July
hot dog eating
contest is
1464
00:55:26,093 --> 00:55:28,262
Salvo Manisculo!
1465
00:55:35,868 --> 00:55:37,338
My father was
having a great time,
1466
00:55:37,371 --> 00:55:40,507
and suddenly, I was the one
who was uncomfortable.
1467
00:55:40,541 --> 00:55:42,543
I wanted him
to make an effort,
1468
00:55:42,576 --> 00:55:44,877
not change
who he was completely.
1469
00:55:48,582 --> 00:55:49,950
There he is.
1470
00:55:49,984 --> 00:55:51,385
The MVP.
1471
00:55:51,418 --> 00:55:53,153
What are you doing?
Checking out
your hardware?
1472
00:55:53,187 --> 00:55:55,489
I just figured out
how these people
stay so rich.
1473
00:55:55,522 --> 00:55:56,991
They do everything
on the cheap.
1474
00:55:57,024 --> 00:55:58,891
Hear that? Plastic.
1475
00:56:00,294 --> 00:56:01,195
Huh.
1476
00:56:01,228 --> 00:56:03,063
Just enjoy it,
will you, please?
1477
00:56:03,097 --> 00:56:05,032
I mean, you kicked
some ass out there today,
1478
00:56:05,065 --> 00:56:06,866
and I think these people
are starting to like you.
1479
00:56:06,899 --> 00:56:08,801
Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
They're just being polite.
1480
00:56:08,835 --> 00:56:09,970
I'm serious.
1481
00:56:10,004 --> 00:56:13,007
Bill even has
a signature scent now.
1482
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:15,476
Oh, yeah?
What brand?
He won't divulge.
1483
00:56:15,509 --> 00:56:16,910
He won't divulge?
Yeah.
1484
00:56:16,944 --> 00:56:18,946
- Salvo.
- I wanna smell that.
1485
00:56:18,979 --> 00:56:20,681
Oh, my God.
I've been looking
all over for you.
1486
00:56:20,714 --> 00:56:22,683
Um, so,
my mom just
got invited
1487
00:56:22,716 --> 00:56:24,685
to be on MSNBC
in two hours.
1488
00:56:24,718 --> 00:56:25,785
That's great.
Yes.
1489
00:56:25,818 --> 00:56:27,655
Well, it would
be, but Tyler,
1490
00:56:27,688 --> 00:56:29,156
well, he's
in Sedona,
1491
00:56:29,189 --> 00:56:31,791
and I have
no one to do
my hair.
1492
00:56:31,824 --> 00:56:32,993
So we were
thinking
1493
00:56:33,027 --> 00:56:34,561
maybe you could
help her out.
1494
00:56:34,595 --> 00:56:35,929
I mean, that's like
asking Van Gogh
1495
00:56:35,963 --> 00:56:37,364
to draw a smiley face.
1496
00:56:37,398 --> 00:56:39,667
- Yes!
- Great!
1497
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:41,068
Mmm.
1498
00:56:43,137 --> 00:56:44,538
I'd be lying to you
if I told you
1499
00:56:44,571 --> 00:56:47,675
I didn't have my eyes
on your lustrous mane
all weekend.
1500
00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:50,444
It's nice to finally get
my hands up in here.
1501
00:56:50,477 --> 00:56:52,845
Hmm. I am
very grateful.
1502
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:54,381
Ah.
1503
00:56:55,815 --> 00:56:58,319
Are those cigars?
1504
00:56:58,818 --> 00:57:00,054
Yeah.
1505
00:57:01,622 --> 00:57:02,923
Can I have one?
1506
00:57:03,357 --> 00:57:04,391
Oh, boy.
1507
00:57:04,425 --> 00:57:06,493
This day just
keeps getting
better and better.
1508
00:57:06,527 --> 00:57:08,162
Of course,
you can have one.
1509
00:57:08,195 --> 00:57:09,263
Be my guest.
1510
00:57:12,199 --> 00:57:13,233
Oh!
1511
00:57:14,068 --> 00:57:15,769
Only the best.
Can I have one?
1512
00:57:15,803 --> 00:57:17,271
Oh, please
join me.
1513
00:57:17,738 --> 00:57:18,972
Okay.
1514
00:57:22,109 --> 00:57:23,610
Fine.
1515
00:57:31,185 --> 00:57:32,252
Mmm.
1516
00:57:35,122 --> 00:57:36,190
You know,
I never met
a woman
1517
00:57:36,223 --> 00:57:39,393
who smokes
cigars before.
Yeah?
1518
00:57:39,426 --> 00:57:42,062
I got hooked
in the Navy.
Wait a minute.
1519
00:57:42,096 --> 00:57:44,398
You're military?
Mmm-hmm.
1520
00:57:44,431 --> 00:57:46,967
I thought you went to one
of those Ivy places.
1521
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,002
I enlisted
after graduation.
1522
00:57:50,304 --> 00:57:52,973
I just felt
a duty to
my country.
1523
00:57:53,006 --> 00:57:55,376
But mostly, I did it
to piss off my parents.
1524
00:57:56,710 --> 00:57:57,911
You?
1525
00:57:58,412 --> 00:57:59,580
Army.
1526
00:57:59,613 --> 00:58:00,748
Combat?
1527
00:58:00,781 --> 00:58:02,383
Cook.
Ah!
1528
00:58:02,983 --> 00:58:04,518
Well, happy 4th to you.
1529
00:58:04,551 --> 00:58:05,586
You, too.
1530
00:58:05,619 --> 00:58:07,121
You, too.
Salud.
1531
00:58:07,154 --> 00:58:08,956
It's nice to have
another actual vet
1532
00:58:08,989 --> 00:58:11,091
out here to celebrate.
1533
00:58:14,128 --> 00:58:15,262
Oh!
1534
00:58:29,643 --> 00:58:31,078
Hey.
1535
00:58:31,111 --> 00:58:32,746
How's it going?
I can't hear anything.
1536
00:58:32,780 --> 00:58:34,681
So they're either
getting along,
1537
00:58:34,715 --> 00:58:37,751
or they're
quietly stabbing
each other.
1538
00:58:37,785 --> 00:58:39,420
Listen, I have
great news.
1539
00:58:39,453 --> 00:58:41,422
What's up?
Okay. So,
that decorator
1540
00:58:41,455 --> 00:58:43,924
that bought all my work,
they've already
placed all the pieces.
1541
00:58:43,957 --> 00:58:45,492
They can't say where
for privacy reasons,
1542
00:58:45,526 --> 00:58:47,828
but it probably means
that they're gonna
want a lot more.
1543
00:58:47,861 --> 00:58:49,863
That's great!
Isn't it?
1544
00:58:49,897 --> 00:58:51,999
Wait. Why is
your voice going up?
1545
00:58:52,032 --> 00:58:53,267
Why does your face
look like that?
1546
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:54,935
What's going on?
1547
00:58:54,968 --> 00:58:56,003
Listen, babe,
1548
00:58:56,036 --> 00:58:58,539
I...
1549
00:58:58,572 --> 00:58:59,840
Voila.
1550
00:59:01,708 --> 00:59:04,445
Oh, what...
What is this? What...
1551
00:59:05,412 --> 00:59:08,315
This isn't at all
what I asked
you to do.
1552
00:59:08,348 --> 00:59:11,785
Well, yeah.
You see, I don't
really do requests.
1553
00:59:11,819 --> 00:59:13,387
The way I work is,
I look at your face,
1554
00:59:13,420 --> 00:59:16,123
I get a sense
of your aura,
who you are,
1555
00:59:16,156 --> 00:59:17,991
then I let that
dictate the style
1556
00:59:18,025 --> 00:59:19,928
that your personality
demands.
1557
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,095
I am about
to go on
television,
1558
00:59:22,129 --> 00:59:25,265
and I just...
I just wanted to
look like myself.
1559
00:59:25,299 --> 00:59:26,533
Oh!
1560
00:59:26,567 --> 00:59:29,169
Bill,
do I look horrible?
1561
00:59:29,803 --> 00:59:31,638
- No, no, no.
- No?
1562
00:59:31,672 --> 00:59:33,040
It is not
horrible. It's...
1563
00:59:33,073 --> 00:59:36,043
Ellie?
Um, I just
feel like...
1564
00:59:36,076 --> 00:59:38,145
I don't know what it is.
Dad, couldn't
you just ditch
1565
00:59:38,178 --> 00:59:40,147
the aura crap,
and give her
what she wanted?
1566
00:59:40,180 --> 00:59:42,049
Whoa! That's like
asking Caravaggio
to go back in,
1567
00:59:42,082 --> 00:59:43,884
and retouch up
the beheading
of Holofernes.
1568
00:59:43,918 --> 00:59:45,052
The what a... Who?
I don't do that.
1569
00:59:45,085 --> 00:59:46,453
Can we, as a family,
please force Doug
1570
00:59:46,487 --> 00:59:48,422
to stop wearing
that organic de...
1571
00:59:48,455 --> 00:59:50,390
Holy shit, Mom!
1572
00:59:50,424 --> 00:59:51,625
Oh.
1573
00:59:51,658 --> 00:59:53,227
Why do you have
the exact same
haircut as Salvo?
1574
00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:55,295
That's it.
Oh, my God.
1575
00:59:55,329 --> 00:59:56,630
I don't think so.
You
guys look like
1576
00:59:56,663 --> 00:59:57,998
those weird
boy-girl twins
1577
00:59:58,031 --> 00:59:59,099
that, like,
just dress
the same.
1578
00:59:59,132 --> 01:00:00,701
Salvo, how could
you do this to me?
1579
01:00:00,734 --> 01:00:03,170
Wait, wait, wait.
First of all,
I didn't realize
1580
01:00:03,203 --> 01:00:04,471
I was doing
anything.
1581
01:00:04,505 --> 01:00:07,040
I mean, to me,
you look powerful,
gorgeous.
1582
01:00:07,074 --> 01:00:10,244
You look,
dare I even
say it, sexy.
1583
01:00:10,277 --> 01:00:11,545
Well, I am
supposed to go
1584
01:00:11,578 --> 01:00:12,746
on TV
in 10 minutes,
1585
01:00:12,779 --> 01:00:16,350
and you have made me look
like a bitter old Italian man!
1586
01:00:17,050 --> 01:00:18,987
Everybody,
please, get out.
1587
01:00:19,019 --> 01:00:21,054
Go, go, go,
go, go.
Sweetheart.
1588
01:00:21,088 --> 01:00:23,257
Mommy,
maybe you...
Get out!
1589
01:00:23,290 --> 01:00:25,192
With all due
respect, Chris,
1590
01:00:25,225 --> 01:00:28,629
the existing policy
has been working
for two decades.
1591
01:00:28,662 --> 01:00:30,664
Why change now?
1592
01:00:30,697 --> 01:00:32,099
Ah, she's kicking ass.
1593
01:00:32,132 --> 01:00:33,800
She's pretty much
talking about you.
1594
01:00:33,834 --> 01:00:35,235
Oh, stop being so dramatic.
1595
01:00:35,269 --> 01:00:37,738
You don't
just make
major decisions
1596
01:00:37,771 --> 01:00:39,873
based on instincts.
1597
01:00:39,908 --> 01:00:41,141
You've gotta listen
1598
01:00:41,174 --> 01:00:42,409
to the people
you're servicing,
1599
01:00:42,442 --> 01:00:45,245
or someone's
gonna end
up dead.
1600
01:00:45,279 --> 01:00:46,747
All right.
Yeah. Well, okay.
1601
01:00:46,780 --> 01:00:48,148
Maybe you got a point.
Uh,
Senator MacArthur,
1602
01:00:48,181 --> 01:00:49,984
I'm actually...
I'm very sorry...
1603
01:00:50,018 --> 01:00:52,185
Sorry to cut
you short.
"Cut me short"?
1604
01:00:52,219 --> 01:00:54,154
Did you say
"cut me short"?
1605
01:00:54,187 --> 01:00:57,457
Is that some kind
of sick joke,
Chris, huh?
1606
01:00:58,525 --> 01:00:59,994
Uh, as you can see,
1607
01:01:00,028 --> 01:01:01,728
uh, very
strong feelings,
1608
01:01:01,762 --> 01:01:03,564
uh, coming out of this story.
1609
01:01:03,597 --> 01:01:05,832
We're gonna continue to follow
its developments for you.
1610
01:01:05,866 --> 01:01:08,268
Listen, when this is all over,
you better apologize.
1611
01:01:08,302 --> 01:01:09,603
Apologize?
For what?
1612
01:01:09,636 --> 01:01:11,171
For what?
She wanted
a touch up.
1613
01:01:11,204 --> 01:01:12,372
You made her look
like David Bowie.
1614
01:01:12,406 --> 01:01:14,274
What? Are you
kidding me?
I gave her a 'do
1615
01:01:14,308 --> 01:01:15,876
that was very
age appropriate
1616
01:01:15,910 --> 01:01:18,345
and dignified.
She should
be thanking me.
1617
01:01:18,378 --> 01:01:19,948
I wouldn't hold
my breath, Salvo.
1618
01:01:19,981 --> 01:01:21,415
Oh, is she really pissed off?
1619
01:01:21,748 --> 01:01:22,984
When I left,
1620
01:01:23,017 --> 01:01:24,685
she was googling
homemade poisons.
1621
01:01:24,718 --> 01:01:26,620
I don't know
if it was for Salvo
or for herself.
1622
01:01:26,653 --> 01:01:27,888
Oh.
I don't get it.
1623
01:01:27,922 --> 01:01:30,457
Most women would be honored
to have their hair done
1624
01:01:30,490 --> 01:01:33,894
by East Chicago's three-time
Hair Stylist of the Year.
1625
01:01:33,928 --> 01:01:35,395
That was in the 80's.
1626
01:01:35,429 --> 01:01:37,297
The 80's. So what?
That's the golden age
of hair.
1627
01:01:41,368 --> 01:01:43,071
Hi, Mom.
1628
01:01:43,103 --> 01:01:44,705
Would you go
talk to her?
Say something?
1629
01:01:44,738 --> 01:01:45,806
What am
I going to say?
1630
01:01:45,839 --> 01:01:47,441
Just say something,
all right?
1631
01:01:48,042 --> 01:01:49,543
Hey, uh, Tig.
1632
01:01:49,576 --> 01:01:51,211
Tig? Uh...
1633
01:01:51,244 --> 01:01:53,814
Tigger. Tigger,
I just want
1634
01:01:53,847 --> 01:01:55,282
to say
you looked
so good
1635
01:01:55,315 --> 01:01:56,583
up there
on the box.
1636
01:01:56,617 --> 01:01:58,953
Really, really.
Very, very dignified.
1637
01:01:58,987 --> 01:02:00,187
"On the box?"
1638
01:02:00,220 --> 01:02:03,757
Get on your feet,
and go over there.
1639
01:02:03,790 --> 01:02:05,158
All right?
All right.
1640
01:02:05,192 --> 01:02:06,793
Uh, Tig, uh...
1641
01:02:07,594 --> 01:02:09,329
I just wanna...
1642
01:02:10,163 --> 01:02:12,000
tell you I'm sorry
1643
01:02:12,033 --> 01:02:15,003
for giving you
a very high-quality hairdo
1644
01:02:15,036 --> 01:02:16,570
without your permission.
1645
01:02:17,437 --> 01:02:19,373
I heard the word "sorry."
1646
01:02:19,406 --> 01:02:21,341
But then you followed it up
1647
01:02:21,375 --> 01:02:23,777
with a compliment
to yourself.
1648
01:02:23,810 --> 01:02:25,947
Well, if I'm being
honest, I never
gave that style
1649
01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:28,016
to anybody else before.
1650
01:02:28,049 --> 01:02:29,383
So I really think
1651
01:02:29,416 --> 01:02:30,985
your aura commands
the respect
1652
01:02:31,019 --> 01:02:32,853
that I typically
only reserve for myself.
1653
01:02:32,886 --> 01:02:35,957
So I am sorry
that I, you know,
1654
01:02:35,990 --> 01:02:38,358
didn't do exactly
what you asked for.
1655
01:02:38,892 --> 01:02:40,160
Thanks.
1656
01:02:49,469 --> 01:02:50,871
You know?
Hey, you know what?
1657
01:02:50,905 --> 01:02:52,940
Let... Let me make
1658
01:02:52,974 --> 01:02:54,541
an offer. I would
love to make
1659
01:02:54,574 --> 01:02:58,046
a full Italian dinner
for everybody.
1660
01:02:58,079 --> 01:02:59,279
That sounds so nice.
How about that?
1661
01:02:59,312 --> 01:03:00,814
And also
as a thank you,
1662
01:03:00,847 --> 01:03:02,349
and with great
appreciation,
1663
01:03:02,382 --> 01:03:05,019
for letting us stay
in this beautiful home.
1664
01:03:05,053 --> 01:03:06,453
That won't be necessary.
1665
01:03:06,486 --> 01:03:08,355
We don't keep
a lot of food here
1666
01:03:08,388 --> 01:03:10,958
and the markets are
closed for the holiday.
1667
01:03:10,992 --> 01:03:12,259
Don't worry.
1668
01:03:12,292 --> 01:03:14,128
A Maniscalco
always finds a way
1669
01:03:14,162 --> 01:03:15,696
to feed
his family,
right?
1670
01:03:15,729 --> 01:03:17,131
Yep. You got it.
1671
01:03:17,165 --> 01:03:18,598
I think it's
a wonderful idea.
1672
01:03:18,632 --> 01:03:20,500
I mean, if you look
like an Italian man,
1673
01:03:20,534 --> 01:03:22,369
why not eat like one,
huh?
1674
01:03:22,402 --> 01:03:24,237
No, I mean,
if you...
I meant Italian...
1675
01:03:24,271 --> 01:03:25,739
Shut up, Bill.
1676
01:03:25,772 --> 01:03:28,442
I'll be sleeping
on the couch tonight.
1677
01:03:35,348 --> 01:03:36,450
Everybody likes to talk
1678
01:03:36,483 --> 01:03:39,286
about how bad
social media is.
1679
01:03:44,257 --> 01:03:45,425
But in this case,
1680
01:03:45,459 --> 01:03:48,129
it really worked out
for my dad.
1681
01:03:48,162 --> 01:03:50,597
Senator Tigger MacArthur
is going viral today,
1682
01:03:50,630 --> 01:03:53,333
and for the first time,
for all the right reasons.
1683
01:03:53,366 --> 01:03:55,469
This new haircut
is giving me like...
1684
01:03:55,502 --> 01:03:57,304
G.I. Jane two months
out of boot camp.
1685
01:03:57,337 --> 01:03:58,772
It's giving me
gender fluidity.
1686
01:03:58,805 --> 01:04:00,908
It's giving me fresh,
hot, gorgeous.
1687
01:04:00,942 --> 01:04:02,342
Whoever did that haircut,
1688
01:04:03,376 --> 01:04:06,080
America thanks you. Ah!
1689
01:04:06,114 --> 01:04:08,882
Now that
Tigger's approval rating
was through the roof,
1690
01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:11,818
she was happy to let
my dad back under hers.
1691
01:04:11,852 --> 01:04:15,355
So good.
So, this is delicious.
1692
01:04:15,388 --> 01:04:17,091
I can't believe
1693
01:04:17,125 --> 01:04:18,325
that you put
this all together
1694
01:04:18,358 --> 01:04:19,860
from what we have
in the kitchen.
1695
01:04:19,893 --> 01:04:22,262
My guess is he raided
the kitchen over at The Shack.
1696
01:04:22,295 --> 01:04:23,965
So, you might wanna call
1697
01:04:23,998 --> 01:04:26,500
Gloria over there,
see if you got
some inventory.
1698
01:04:27,034 --> 01:04:28,368
Mmm, mmm.
1699
01:04:28,401 --> 01:04:30,004
What do you call
this again, Salvo?
1700
01:04:35,575 --> 01:04:36,777
It is delicious.
1701
01:04:36,810 --> 01:04:38,678
I'm going for seconds.
Don't tell my trainer.
1702
01:04:38,712 --> 01:04:41,515
It's really good.
I just wish you hadn't used
my bowls.
1703
01:04:41,548 --> 01:04:43,617
Well, you know,
I used your bowls, Doug,
1704
01:04:43,650 --> 01:04:46,286
because I wanted
to add a special
1705
01:04:46,319 --> 01:04:49,689
spiritual reverberation
to the meal.
1706
01:04:49,723 --> 01:04:52,160
So, that's why,
you know?
Okay.
1707
01:04:52,193 --> 01:04:54,028
Yeah.
So, thank you
1708
01:04:54,061 --> 01:04:55,428
for that
contribution.
Okay.
1709
01:04:55,462 --> 01:04:57,497
- Salvo, it's delicious.
- Delicious.
1710
01:04:57,531 --> 01:04:59,299
Listen, given everything
you're doing for my son,
1711
01:04:59,332 --> 01:05:00,767
this is the least
I can do.
Oh.
1712
01:05:00,801 --> 01:05:03,870
And I just wanna
say something that
1713
01:05:04,471 --> 01:05:05,973
my father used to say.
1714
01:05:09,743 --> 01:05:10,912
The translation is,
1715
01:05:10,945 --> 01:05:13,147
"The family isn't
just one important thing,
1716
01:05:13,181 --> 01:05:14,748
"it's everything."
1717
01:05:14,781 --> 01:05:17,084
And I like
to toast to that.
Lovely.
1718
01:05:17,118 --> 01:05:19,020
- Salud!
- Salud!
1719
01:05:19,053 --> 01:05:21,088
To everything.
Salud.
1720
01:05:21,122 --> 01:05:22,556
- Cheers, everybody.
- Well said.
1721
01:05:22,589 --> 01:05:24,025
Watch it, watch it.
1722
01:05:24,058 --> 01:05:25,425
Oh, collision!
1723
01:05:25,458 --> 01:05:27,161
Cut him off.
Time for some
more vino, huh?
1724
01:05:27,195 --> 01:05:29,197
Oh, yes.
When in Rome.
1725
01:05:29,230 --> 01:05:30,264
Because,
you know,
1726
01:05:30,298 --> 01:05:31,665
you guys
are Italian.
1727
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,436
You got a problem
with Italians, Bill?
Yeah, Bill.
1728
01:05:41,575 --> 01:05:44,344
Who got you?
Come on, Bill!
1729
01:05:44,377 --> 01:05:46,379
I thought he was
serious.
1730
01:05:57,291 --> 01:05:59,126
What's this?
1731
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:00,360
You know, just...
1732
01:06:00,393 --> 01:06:02,063
...the sexiest way
I can think of
1733
01:06:02,096 --> 01:06:03,264
to say thank you.
1734
01:06:03,297 --> 01:06:04,431
Here? Are you
kidding me?
1735
01:06:04,464 --> 01:06:05,799
They're in
the next room.
1736
01:06:05,832 --> 01:06:08,069
You know
I'm a screamer.
I know.
1737
01:06:08,102 --> 01:06:09,436
Just come
over here.
1738
01:06:12,206 --> 01:06:14,708
Oh! Oh, yeah.
1739
01:06:20,214 --> 01:06:21,848
Hmm?
1740
01:06:23,884 --> 01:06:25,518
What, baby? What?
Oh, we got
to go inside.
1741
01:06:25,552 --> 01:06:27,787
I'm getting eaten alive.
What? What are
you talking about?
1742
01:06:27,821 --> 01:06:28,923
I saw a raccoon.
Is that a safe word?
1743
01:06:28,956 --> 01:06:30,124
There's raccoons
everywhere.
Raccoon?
1744
01:06:30,157 --> 01:06:31,725
Yeah.
Where? What raccoon?
1745
01:06:31,758 --> 01:06:33,928
There's
some wildlife.
Honey, there's no raccoons.
1746
01:06:33,961 --> 01:06:35,329
Mmm.
1747
01:06:35,363 --> 01:06:37,764
Seeing
my future in-laws eat
1748
01:06:37,797 --> 01:06:41,568
their family pet is
is as close to an acid trip
1749
01:06:41,601 --> 01:06:43,371
as I ever wanna be.
1750
01:06:43,403 --> 01:06:45,039
Here comes the airplane.
1751
01:06:46,873 --> 01:06:48,541
Ah, no!
1752
01:06:48,575 --> 01:06:51,212
This Italian food's
going to my head.
1753
01:06:59,753 --> 01:07:03,757
This was proof
the man was diabolical.
1754
01:07:03,790 --> 01:07:05,960
I murdered Sergeant Feathers.
1755
01:07:12,499 --> 01:07:14,668
I can't believe
1756
01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:15,769
you fed 'em
a peacock.
1757
01:07:15,802 --> 01:07:17,271
How could
you do this?
Easy.
1758
01:07:17,305 --> 01:07:19,706
My recipe called for chicken.
All the stores were closed.
1759
01:07:19,739 --> 01:07:21,841
So what does a great chef do?
He improvises.
1760
01:07:21,875 --> 01:07:23,677
By murdering
their beloved mascot?
1761
01:07:23,710 --> 01:07:25,845
They still got
three left. Are
you kidding me?
1762
01:07:25,879 --> 01:07:27,248
Where we come from,
it's called,
1763
01:07:27,281 --> 01:07:28,748
"You gotta do what you gotta
do to feed the family."
1764
01:07:28,782 --> 01:07:30,583
It's called
the peasant mentality.
1765
01:07:30,617 --> 01:07:31,751
Look around, Dad.
1766
01:07:31,785 --> 01:07:33,020
These people
aren't peasants.
1767
01:07:33,054 --> 01:07:34,188
And you thought
I was crazy
1768
01:07:34,221 --> 01:07:35,423
for worrying
that you were gonna
1769
01:07:35,455 --> 01:07:37,891
make us look like
some bad Italian stereotype?
1770
01:07:37,925 --> 01:07:40,027
Come on. You know
I'm not doing that.
1771
01:07:40,061 --> 01:07:41,594
Are you blind? Look at...
1772
01:07:41,628 --> 01:07:43,197
We are
in the woods
1773
01:07:43,230 --> 01:07:44,497
in the middle
of the night
1774
01:07:44,531 --> 01:07:47,101
trying to get rid
of a freakin' body.
1775
01:07:47,134 --> 01:07:48,202
That's right.
1776
01:07:48,235 --> 01:07:49,803
To help me get
rid of the evidence.
1777
01:07:49,836 --> 01:07:51,871
Why does it seem like
you've done this before?
1778
01:07:54,474 --> 01:07:55,642
Stupid bird!
It's dead!
1779
01:07:55,675 --> 01:07:57,011
What are
you doing?
1780
01:07:57,044 --> 01:07:58,511
Look at
its feathers.
1781
01:08:05,152 --> 01:08:06,220
Night cologne?
1782
01:08:16,364 --> 01:08:18,299
Listen, son,
1783
01:08:18,332 --> 01:08:21,402
I was just trying
to help you win
this family over
1784
01:08:21,435 --> 01:08:23,770
by making
a good meal,
that's all.
1785
01:08:23,803 --> 01:08:25,239
Well, if this is
your idea of help,
1786
01:08:25,272 --> 01:08:26,639
I think I'm good, Dad.
1787
01:08:27,008 --> 01:08:28,775
Jesus.
1788
01:08:28,808 --> 01:08:29,876
Why do I feel
like you're trying
1789
01:08:29,910 --> 01:08:31,245
to wreck this
for me?
Wreck it?
1790
01:08:31,278 --> 01:08:33,613
I'm just making an effort
like you asked me to do.
1791
01:08:33,646 --> 01:08:34,814
Well, it turns out
the only thing worse
1792
01:08:34,848 --> 01:08:37,517
than you not trying
is you trying.
1793
01:08:37,550 --> 01:08:39,719
Well, maybe to you,
but to me, these people,
1794
01:08:39,753 --> 01:08:41,222
they seem
to like me.
Like you?
1795
01:08:41,255 --> 01:08:43,723
If I told these people
the truth about what happened,
1796
01:08:43,757 --> 01:08:45,126
they'd never
have us back here.
1797
01:08:48,862 --> 01:08:51,698
You know, why did
I let Ellie convince me
to bring you here?
1798
01:08:51,731 --> 01:08:53,034
What do you mean,
"bring me here"?
1799
01:08:53,067 --> 01:08:54,734
You're the one
who invited me,
didn't you?
1800
01:08:54,768 --> 01:08:56,971
Yeah, I invited you
to get grandma's ring.
1801
01:08:57,004 --> 01:08:59,507
I didn't know you were
gonna spend the whole time
sabotaging me.
1802
01:08:59,539 --> 01:09:01,208
What are you
talking about,
"sabotaging"?
1803
01:09:01,242 --> 01:09:02,542
How could you say that?
1804
01:09:02,575 --> 01:09:03,944
Everything I'm
doing for you,
1805
01:09:03,978 --> 01:09:06,380
that I've ever done
for you is for
your own good,
1806
01:09:06,414 --> 01:09:07,847
to give you
a better life.
1807
01:09:07,881 --> 01:09:09,716
You love to say that,
but now that
I'm gonna get it,
1808
01:09:09,749 --> 01:09:11,419
it's like you're
trying to stop it.
1809
01:09:11,452 --> 01:09:13,054
Trying to
stop what?
1810
01:09:13,087 --> 01:09:14,621
I'm trying to make sure
that you don't make
an ass out of yourself
1811
01:09:14,654 --> 01:09:16,223
by trying to be
somebody you're not.
1812
01:09:16,257 --> 01:09:17,358
You're your own person.
1813
01:09:17,391 --> 01:09:18,758
You're your own man.
Be your own man.
1814
01:09:18,792 --> 01:09:20,660
Otherwise,
it's embarrassing.
1815
01:09:20,693 --> 01:09:22,029
Oh, man.
You know what?
1816
01:09:22,063 --> 01:09:23,998
This is your problem.
You're so focused
1817
01:09:24,031 --> 01:09:26,300
on other people
being embarrassed,
1818
01:09:26,333 --> 01:09:29,503
you can't see who
the most embarrassing
person is.
1819
01:09:29,537 --> 01:09:30,837
It's you.
1820
01:09:32,073 --> 01:09:34,308
That's really
what you think?
1821
01:09:38,012 --> 01:09:40,014
Let's just go
to sleep,
all right?
1822
01:10:15,782 --> 01:10:18,852
The next morning,
it was the 4th of July,
1823
01:10:18,885 --> 01:10:20,354
which made sense,
'cause I was
1824
01:10:20,387 --> 01:10:22,923
finally getting
my independence.
1825
01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:25,526
It was an amazing feeling.
1826
01:10:25,559 --> 01:10:27,995
But much like
my signature scent,
1827
01:10:28,028 --> 01:10:29,863
it was a little bittersweet.
1828
01:10:31,664 --> 01:10:34,034
But this was
the beginning of my new life.
1829
01:10:34,767 --> 01:10:37,004
And now that I had the ring,
1830
01:10:37,037 --> 01:10:39,006
it was time to make my move.
1831
01:10:44,912 --> 01:10:46,580
I've given this
a lot of thought
1832
01:10:46,614 --> 01:10:48,315
over the last
few days,
1833
01:10:48,349 --> 01:10:50,518
and on top
of accepting
1834
01:10:50,551 --> 01:10:52,620
your very generous offer
1835
01:10:52,652 --> 01:10:55,156
to run the Barrymore Hotel,
1836
01:10:55,189 --> 01:10:58,392
I would also like
to ask your permission
1837
01:10:58,425 --> 01:11:00,727
to propose to Ellie.
1838
01:11:02,963 --> 01:11:04,298
Oh.
1839
01:11:04,331 --> 01:11:06,300
Ah, that doesn't...
1840
01:11:07,434 --> 01:11:08,969
I...
1841
01:11:11,005 --> 01:11:13,240
We're kidding!
1842
01:11:14,909 --> 01:11:16,743
We got him.
Ho! You
should've seen
1843
01:11:16,776 --> 01:11:19,613
the look
on your face.
Priceless.
1844
01:11:19,647 --> 01:11:21,415
Our answer is
an emphatic...
1845
01:11:21,448 --> 01:11:23,083
Yes!
Oh, God.
1846
01:11:23,117 --> 01:11:25,852
Gee, Sebastian,
we just love you.
1847
01:11:25,885 --> 01:11:27,521
And we just...
We cannot
1848
01:11:27,555 --> 01:11:29,290
wait for you
and Ellie
1849
01:11:29,323 --> 01:11:30,823
to join the party
in D.C.
1850
01:11:30,857 --> 01:11:33,194
Yes.
And this is perfect.
1851
01:11:33,227 --> 01:11:36,163
We're doing our family
Christmas card photo today.
1852
01:11:36,197 --> 01:11:38,698
You can propose there,
and then be in it!
1853
01:11:38,731 --> 01:11:41,768
Oh, thank God.
I was so nervous
1854
01:11:41,801 --> 01:11:43,938
how you guys would react
to this, you know?
1855
01:11:43,971 --> 01:11:46,473
Especially, what's happened
this weekend with my father.
1856
01:11:46,507 --> 01:11:49,476
No. That dinner
was wonderful.
1857
01:11:52,745 --> 01:11:54,648
Yeah.
Fantastic. Memorable.
1858
01:11:54,682 --> 01:11:56,450
Chicken al cavone.
1859
01:11:56,483 --> 01:11:58,519
Fantastic.
1860
01:11:58,552 --> 01:11:59,620
- Never had it.
- Terrific.
1861
01:11:59,653 --> 01:12:00,955
Yes.
Don't know what's in it.
1862
01:12:02,389 --> 01:12:04,124
What the hell kind
of elf are you
supposed to be?
1863
01:12:04,158 --> 01:12:07,428
I'm representing
all the holiday
traditions.
1864
01:12:07,461 --> 01:12:08,828
Nice.
1865
01:12:08,861 --> 01:12:10,397
You're as plump
as a little partridge.
1866
01:12:10,431 --> 01:12:12,967
Yes.
1867
01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:14,501
Oh, oh.
1868
01:12:14,535 --> 01:12:15,768
Hey, you fit
right in.
1869
01:12:15,802 --> 01:12:17,271
Uh, I don't know.
1870
01:12:17,304 --> 01:12:18,539
Can I propose first
1871
01:12:18,572 --> 01:12:20,207
and then put on
the tree costume?
1872
01:12:21,175 --> 01:12:22,509
What's
the difference?
Oh, E... Ellie.
1873
01:12:22,543 --> 01:12:24,712
Ellie, where's
your costume?
We... We can't
1874
01:12:24,744 --> 01:12:25,878
do this without
our reindeer.
1875
01:12:25,913 --> 01:12:27,314
I'm sorry, but I'm
not gonna be taking
1876
01:12:27,348 --> 01:12:29,216
the photo this year,
because I no longer
1877
01:12:29,250 --> 01:12:30,618
wanna be a part
of this family.
1878
01:12:30,651 --> 01:12:33,020
Also, Sebastian
isn't taking the job,
1879
01:12:33,053 --> 01:12:34,887
we are not
moving to D.C.
1880
01:12:34,922 --> 01:12:36,190
and we're not gonna
spend any more time
1881
01:12:36,223 --> 01:12:37,958
with these
manipulators.
So, let's go.
1882
01:12:37,992 --> 01:12:39,892
What happened?
What's happened?
1883
01:12:39,927 --> 01:12:42,630
Dad, what do all
of your hotels
have in common?
1884
01:12:42,663 --> 01:12:44,965
Five-star experience
at a three-star price.
1885
01:12:44,999 --> 01:12:48,302
No. The answer is
1886
01:12:48,335 --> 01:12:49,802
their lobby art.
1887
01:12:49,836 --> 01:12:50,903
Oh.
Shall we start
1888
01:12:50,938 --> 01:12:52,239
with the Barrymore
Hotel?
Uh-oh.
1889
01:12:52,273 --> 01:12:54,008
Shall we? Come on.
No, I don't
need to see...
1890
01:12:54,041 --> 01:12:56,543
Oh, look.
Do you notice
anything familiar
1891
01:12:56,577 --> 01:12:57,877
about the walls?
Well, no.
1892
01:12:57,911 --> 01:12:59,713
That's
my painting,
isn't it?
1893
01:12:59,747 --> 01:13:01,515
Well,
what's that?
My painting.
1894
01:13:01,548 --> 01:13:02,716
My painting.
1895
01:13:02,750 --> 01:13:04,817
Oh, yeah,
my painting.
All right.
1896
01:13:04,851 --> 01:13:07,087
It was
your dad's idea!
1897
01:13:07,121 --> 01:13:08,389
Wait. Just wait.
It was
your dad's idea.
1898
01:13:08,422 --> 01:13:10,090
No. One second here.
It was him.
1899
01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:11,725
I just wanna know
how you found out.
1900
01:13:11,759 --> 01:13:13,394
Sebastian,
did you tell her?
1901
01:13:15,229 --> 01:13:16,230
What?
1902
01:13:16,829 --> 01:13:18,399
You knew
about this?
1903
01:13:19,767 --> 01:13:22,970
Well, no,
I kind of saw...
1904
01:13:23,003 --> 01:13:25,506
I can't believe that
you all did this to me.
1905
01:13:25,539 --> 01:13:27,441
Ellie, we can explain.
1906
01:13:27,474 --> 01:13:28,742
We can explain.
No, Mom!
1907
01:13:28,776 --> 01:13:31,612
This whole time
I thought I was
selling my art
1908
01:13:31,645 --> 01:13:33,347
to this cool new designer,
1909
01:13:33,380 --> 01:13:35,716
when really
my parents
just hired them
1910
01:13:35,749 --> 01:13:36,784
to buy my work.
1911
01:13:36,816 --> 01:13:37,951
No, no, no, darling.
1912
01:13:37,985 --> 01:13:39,219
No, that's
not... No.
1913
01:13:39,253 --> 01:13:41,888
Yes. Yes, that is
technically true.
1914
01:13:41,922 --> 01:13:44,124
I thought
I was killing it
in the art world!
1915
01:13:44,158 --> 01:13:46,060
We just wanted you
to get a jump-start
1916
01:13:46,093 --> 01:13:47,928
in a really,
really rough business.
1917
01:13:47,961 --> 01:13:49,263
It's so terrible
out there.
You know how rough it is.
1918
01:13:49,296 --> 01:13:50,798
It's what you
always do.
You're always...
1919
01:13:50,830 --> 01:13:52,032
You're just
stealing
our lessons.
1920
01:13:52,066 --> 01:13:54,601
You bribe our way
onto sports teams,
1921
01:13:54,635 --> 01:13:56,437
you rewrite
our college essays,
1922
01:13:56,470 --> 01:13:58,138
you hire famous rappers
1923
01:13:58,172 --> 01:13:59,773
to emcee
our birthday parties.
1924
01:13:59,807 --> 01:14:01,175
That was also
not my idea.
Okay. So what?
1925
01:14:01,208 --> 01:14:02,676
Now you don't
like Warren G?
1926
01:14:02,710 --> 01:14:03,944
Look, you guys are
great parents.
1927
01:14:03,977 --> 01:14:06,046
Don't let her guilt you
into changing your ways.
1928
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:07,981
All I have ever wanted
was to feel like
1929
01:14:08,015 --> 01:14:10,484
I was accomplishing
things on my own.
1930
01:14:12,186 --> 01:14:13,787
And I can't believe
that you just didn't
1931
01:14:13,821 --> 01:14:15,122
say something to me.
1932
01:14:16,957 --> 01:14:18,826
Sweetheart, we, um...
1933
01:14:18,858 --> 01:14:21,595
Oh, my gosh.
I told you.
Well, yeah.
1934
01:14:26,266 --> 01:14:27,968
I'd been
so focused on trying
1935
01:14:28,001 --> 01:14:30,003
to please Ellie's family,
1936
01:14:30,037 --> 01:14:32,806
that I lost sight
of what I came here to do.
1937
01:14:32,840 --> 01:14:35,909
I had to find Ellie
and make this right.
1938
01:14:35,943 --> 01:14:38,612
And I knew exactly
where she'd be.
1939
01:14:38,645 --> 01:14:40,147
Permission
to approach?
1940
01:14:59,199 --> 01:15:01,101
Place could use
a remodel, huh?
1941
01:15:06,573 --> 01:15:08,208
I'm sorry.
1942
01:15:08,242 --> 01:15:09,977
I should've said something.
1943
01:15:10,677 --> 01:15:12,179
Yeah, you should have.
1944
01:15:13,981 --> 01:15:16,583
Is there anything I could do
to make it up to you?
1945
01:15:16,617 --> 01:15:19,853
Just being in this family
1946
01:15:19,887 --> 01:15:22,289
is like bowling
with bumpers.
1947
01:15:22,322 --> 01:15:23,557
It's like,
1948
01:15:23,590 --> 01:15:25,759
no matter what I try to do,
1949
01:15:25,793 --> 01:15:27,428
they're always
setting up rails
1950
01:15:27,461 --> 01:15:28,695
to make sure that I win.
1951
01:15:28,729 --> 01:15:31,598
And sometimes,
I just want to free bowl,
1952
01:15:31,632 --> 01:15:32,833
because then,
that way
1953
01:15:32,866 --> 01:15:36,370
if I bowl a strike,
then that's my strike.
1954
01:15:36,403 --> 01:15:38,639
But if I gutter it,
then that's on me too.
1955
01:15:38,672 --> 01:15:39,908
I understand.
1956
01:15:39,940 --> 01:15:42,376
You want to work hard
for your own success.
1957
01:15:42,409 --> 01:15:43,844
Yes.
1958
01:15:43,877 --> 01:15:46,113
Do you remember
when you told me
the story
1959
01:15:46,146 --> 01:15:48,248
about how Salvo taught
you how to swim?
1960
01:15:48,282 --> 01:15:51,185
He dropped me in the middle
of Lake Michigan in November.
1961
01:15:52,953 --> 01:15:55,289
Listen, I know
he's a pain in the ass,
1962
01:15:56,523 --> 01:15:59,526
but he also raised you
to be tough and resourceful.
1963
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:02,629
And those are two things
I really love about you.
1964
01:16:04,231 --> 01:16:05,866
And I kind of wish
that my parents had
1965
01:16:05,899 --> 01:16:07,501
raised me more like that.
1966
01:16:08,902 --> 01:16:10,137
And that was the moment
1967
01:16:10,170 --> 01:16:13,740
everything finally started
to make sense.
1968
01:16:13,774 --> 01:16:15,843
Here I was,
planning to propose
1969
01:16:15,876 --> 01:16:18,312
to the girl of my dreams,
1970
01:16:18,345 --> 01:16:22,549
and I was gonna do it
without the man who raised me?
1971
01:16:22,583 --> 01:16:25,686
I realized
I had everything I wanted,
1972
01:16:25,719 --> 01:16:27,654
but not what I needed.
1973
01:16:27,688 --> 01:16:29,022
I gotta go
do something first.
1974
01:16:30,457 --> 01:16:31,291
What? What?
1975
01:16:31,325 --> 01:16:33,293
Trust me.
Meet me
at dinner.
1976
01:16:35,496 --> 01:16:37,364
How's he doing
back there?
1977
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:42,336
Keep going,
bro, I'm fine.
Okay.
1978
01:16:45,272 --> 01:16:47,407
There it is. That's it.
1979
01:16:47,441 --> 01:16:49,343
I got you, mi hermano.
1980
01:16:50,777 --> 01:16:52,112
You go get him.
1981
01:16:54,448 --> 01:16:56,717
Hey, stop!
You can't be out here!
1982
01:16:56,750 --> 01:17:00,120
Sir, you have
to get off the tarmac! Sir!
1983
01:17:00,153 --> 01:17:01,688
Stop the plane.
1984
01:17:15,769 --> 01:17:16,803
Son...
1985
01:17:18,238 --> 01:17:19,806
what are you doing?
1986
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:21,375
You look like
you swam here.
1987
01:17:21,408 --> 01:17:23,143
I came here
to tell you
1988
01:17:23,176 --> 01:17:25,045
that you're
stubborn,
you're cheap,
1989
01:17:25,546 --> 01:17:27,080
you're obnoxious,
1990
01:17:27,114 --> 01:17:28,348
you're severely
judgmental...
1991
01:17:28,382 --> 01:17:29,416
Wait, wait.
This is what
1992
01:17:29,449 --> 01:17:30,817
I'm getting off
the plane for?
1993
01:17:30,851 --> 01:17:32,286
Dad, but the truth is
1994
01:17:32,319 --> 01:17:35,756
all those quirks are
part of what makes you
the greatest dad
1995
01:17:35,789 --> 01:17:37,257
that I could
ever hope for.
1996
01:17:38,425 --> 01:17:40,327
Okay. Now
I'm listening.
1997
01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:42,262
Now, it ain't
always easy
being your son,
1998
01:17:42,296 --> 01:17:45,866
but the way you raised me
made me the man I am today.
1999
01:17:45,899 --> 01:17:48,569
The same man,
for whatever the reason,
2000
01:17:48,602 --> 01:17:49,903
Ellie seems to love.
2001
01:17:49,938 --> 01:17:52,372
Could never figure
that one out, either,
but you know...
2002
01:17:52,406 --> 01:17:53,674
You got your
grandmother's ring.
2003
01:17:53,707 --> 01:17:54,608
What else
you need
from me?
2004
01:17:54,641 --> 01:17:57,210
I need you to be part
of our lives, Dad.
2005
01:17:57,244 --> 01:17:58,712
But you said
I was embarrassing.
2006
01:17:58,745 --> 01:18:00,080
You are.
2007
01:18:00,113 --> 01:18:01,815
You haven't
changed one bit
since I was a kid.
2008
01:18:01,848 --> 01:18:03,817
You know who did?
I changed.
2009
01:18:03,850 --> 01:18:05,619
And I think somewhere
along the way,
2010
01:18:06,453 --> 01:18:07,654
I forgot.
2011
01:18:08,522 --> 01:18:10,490
You're my hero, man.
2012
01:18:12,159 --> 01:18:15,128
Stop.
No. You are.
2013
01:18:15,162 --> 01:18:16,697
All the stuff
you sacrifice.
2014
01:18:16,730 --> 01:18:19,499
Everything that's
good in my life,
I owe it to you.
2015
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:21,835
No. It's... it's...
2016
01:18:21,868 --> 01:18:24,906
It's that good things
happen to good kids.
2017
01:18:24,939 --> 01:18:26,340
You're a good boy.
2018
01:18:26,373 --> 01:18:28,910
It's just that
I've been acting
crazier lately,
2019
01:18:28,943 --> 01:18:30,677
because... I... I...
2020
01:18:30,711 --> 01:18:33,714
I was so poor,
for me to give you
a better life,
2021
01:18:33,747 --> 01:18:35,315
and now that
you're going to have it,
2022
01:18:35,349 --> 01:18:38,185
and I'm afraid that
once you marry Ellie,
2023
01:18:38,218 --> 01:18:40,387
I'm gonna lose
the only family I got.
2024
01:18:40,420 --> 01:18:42,090
Oh, Dad, you're
not gonna lose me.
Don't worry.
2025
01:18:42,122 --> 01:18:43,590
Stop... don't cry, Dad.
2026
01:18:43,624 --> 01:18:45,626
You're going
to make me cry.
Well, I can't help it.
2027
01:18:46,259 --> 01:18:48,096
I love you, man.
2028
01:18:48,128 --> 01:18:49,529
I love you, Dad.
I love you too, kid.
2029
01:18:49,563 --> 01:18:50,664
Love you.
2030
01:18:58,171 --> 01:19:00,108
Are you crying?
2031
01:19:00,140 --> 01:19:01,508
What?
Are you crying?
2032
01:19:01,541 --> 01:19:02,843
Hell, no.
2033
01:19:02,876 --> 01:19:04,946
I never cry!
2034
01:19:15,923 --> 01:19:17,224
Wow!
2035
01:19:18,258 --> 01:19:20,427
I don't know
why I was
so scared.
2036
01:19:21,561 --> 01:19:23,764
This is really
beautiful.
Yeah.
2037
01:19:24,865 --> 01:19:26,333
Oh, my God!
We're going down!
2038
01:19:26,366 --> 01:19:27,901
Oh, my God!
I'm just kidding.
2039
01:19:27,935 --> 01:19:29,870
I'm going
to kill you, Luck!
2040
01:19:35,308 --> 01:19:36,643
Ladies
and gentlemen, welcome
2041
01:19:36,677 --> 01:19:38,779
to this year's
4th of July clambake.
2042
01:19:38,812 --> 01:19:40,847
Well, so far,
2043
01:19:40,881 --> 01:19:42,716
a very
pleasant evening.
2044
01:19:42,749 --> 01:19:45,185
Mmm-hmm.
Thank you,
my darling.
2045
01:19:45,218 --> 01:19:46,553
Such a treat.
2046
01:19:46,586 --> 01:19:49,322
Hats off to that
new chef, huh?
2047
01:19:49,356 --> 01:19:52,160
Outstanding.
Of course, you can't
go wrong with lobster.
2048
01:19:52,192 --> 01:19:53,293
Oh, sweetie,
2049
01:19:53,326 --> 01:19:55,195
did you lose
your appetite?
2050
01:19:55,228 --> 01:19:56,430
Do you wanna
buy me one?
2051
01:19:58,699 --> 01:20:00,267
All right,
ladies and gentlemen.
2052
01:20:00,300 --> 01:20:02,302
I hope you brought
your dancing shoes tonight...
2053
01:20:02,335 --> 01:20:03,637
Because...
2054
01:20:03,670 --> 01:20:06,107
Thank you, Mr. Woodrow.
Because we've got a real treat
2055
01:20:06,140 --> 01:20:07,574
for you guys tonight.
2056
01:20:07,607 --> 01:20:10,410
Please welcome, all the way
from Chicago, Illinois,
2057
01:20:10,444 --> 01:20:13,081
Sebastian Maniscalco.
2058
01:20:16,817 --> 01:20:19,586
Ellie Collins,
you asked for this.
2059
01:20:19,619 --> 01:20:21,755
I wonder what
this is about.
I don't know.
2060
01:20:26,194 --> 01:20:28,096
Eleanor
Mallory Collins.
2061
01:20:28,129 --> 01:20:29,563
What are you doing?
2062
01:20:31,099 --> 01:20:32,766
Exactly what
I came here to do.
2063
01:20:34,969 --> 01:20:36,104
Now, my father
said something
2064
01:20:36,137 --> 01:20:38,139
really profound
this weekend.
2065
01:20:38,172 --> 01:20:40,908
It's an old
Italian saying,
2066
01:20:42,275 --> 01:20:45,545
"Family isn't
one important thing,
2067
01:20:47,181 --> 01:20:48,482
"it's everything."
2068
01:20:50,218 --> 01:20:52,519
Now, yeah, they could
be embarrassing.
2069
01:20:53,253 --> 01:20:54,387
Smothering.
2070
01:20:54,421 --> 01:20:56,224
Sometimes maybe
express their love
2071
01:20:56,256 --> 01:20:58,926
in ways
that are pretty...
Messed up.
2072
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:00,494
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
2073
01:21:01,828 --> 01:21:04,531
But at the end
of the day they're...
2074
01:21:04,564 --> 01:21:07,267
they're just trying to do
what's best for us.
2075
01:21:08,268 --> 01:21:09,836
Because they love us.
2076
01:21:12,506 --> 01:21:14,208
Now here,
in this moment,
2077
01:21:14,242 --> 01:21:16,376
in front
of our families...
2078
01:21:21,182 --> 01:21:22,549
Ellie...
2079
01:21:23,784 --> 01:21:25,019
will you marry me?
2080
01:21:27,088 --> 01:21:28,222
- Yes.
- Oh.
2081
01:21:42,435 --> 01:21:44,371
And there
you have it, folks.
2082
01:21:44,404 --> 01:21:47,275
An atypical
American love story
2083
01:21:47,307 --> 01:21:50,677
about a man reconnecting
with his hero,
2084
01:21:50,710 --> 01:21:53,814
and two different brands
of immigrant families
2085
01:21:53,847 --> 01:21:55,348
coming together.
2086
01:22:02,322 --> 01:22:03,690
Sebastian,
are you sure
2087
01:22:03,723 --> 01:22:05,559
you won't
reconsider
our offer?
2088
01:22:05,592 --> 01:22:07,094
No, it's
a generous offer.
2089
01:22:07,128 --> 01:22:08,495
Yeah.
But Ellie
and I decided
2090
01:22:08,528 --> 01:22:10,397
to stay in Chicago
for at least
a few more years.
2091
01:22:10,430 --> 01:22:11,598
Oh!
Yeah.
2092
01:22:11,631 --> 01:22:13,667
I'm not saying
a word.
Heartbreaking.
2093
01:22:13,700 --> 01:22:15,769
Dad, I was thinking
since Sea Bass isn't...
Yeah.
2094
01:22:15,802 --> 01:22:17,771
gonna take the job,
I thought I could...
2095
01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:19,639
step up.
2096
01:22:21,042 --> 01:22:22,442
No more drugs?
2097
01:22:23,777 --> 01:22:25,913
Prescription?
Mostly mine?
2098
01:22:25,947 --> 01:22:27,014
A dream come true.
2099
01:22:27,048 --> 01:22:29,250
All right.
Thank you.
That's my boy, Lucky.
2100
01:22:29,283 --> 01:22:30,952
I'm
running a hotel.
2101
01:22:30,985 --> 01:22:32,485
Hi.
Hi, everybody.
2102
01:22:32,519 --> 01:22:34,956
Um, I'd like you to meet
my girlfriend, Michelle.
2103
01:22:34,989 --> 01:22:36,224
Hello.
Hi, I'm Ellie.
2104
01:22:36,257 --> 01:22:37,791
Hi.
She's real.
2105
01:22:38,391 --> 01:22:39,559
That's my sister.
2106
01:22:39,593 --> 01:22:41,461
It's very nice
to meet all of you.
2107
01:22:41,494 --> 01:22:44,564
Did you fly
all the way
from... from...
2108
01:22:44,598 --> 01:22:46,133
Africa.
...Africa
2109
01:22:46,167 --> 01:22:49,270
...to be
with Doug?
2110
01:22:49,303 --> 01:22:52,106
Oh, well,
I love Doug.
2111
01:22:52,139 --> 01:22:53,174
But I'm
actually here
2112
01:22:53,207 --> 01:22:54,441
on a Fulbright
scholarship.
2113
01:22:54,474 --> 01:22:55,842
She's very smart.
2114
01:22:55,876 --> 01:22:57,111
Very nice.
2115
01:22:57,144 --> 01:22:59,914
Well, we're
just so happy
2116
01:22:59,947 --> 01:23:01,349
to meet you.
Lovely.
2117
01:23:01,381 --> 01:23:03,483
Yes. You could sit...
Mom. Dad.
2118
01:23:03,516 --> 01:23:04,784
Yes. Yes.
Where are
we gonna go?
2119
01:23:04,818 --> 01:23:06,087
Right this way.
Yeah, we gotta get
2120
01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:08,488
our picture taken.
2121
01:23:11,524 --> 01:23:14,628
Don't say that I never
did nothing for you.
2122
01:23:22,136 --> 01:23:23,403
- Ah.
- Oh.
2123
01:23:23,436 --> 01:23:25,239
How would
you two feel
2124
01:23:25,273 --> 01:23:27,174
about having
the wedding
2125
01:23:27,208 --> 01:23:29,076
in our chapel
in D.C.?
2126
01:23:29,110 --> 01:23:30,311
D.C.? No.
2127
01:23:30,344 --> 01:23:31,678
Let's have it
in Sicily.
2128
01:23:31,711 --> 01:23:33,147
Oh, Sicily.
In my grandfather's
garden.
2129
01:23:33,180 --> 01:23:34,982
That's where
you should...
I was thinking like Napa,
2130
01:23:35,016 --> 01:23:37,684
because I found this place
that has a big wine glass.
2131
01:23:37,717 --> 01:23:39,120
And you can do
the whole ceremony
2132
01:23:39,153 --> 01:23:40,221
in the wine glass.
2133
01:23:40,254 --> 01:23:42,189
Duke! Duke! No!
2134
01:23:42,223 --> 01:23:43,823
What do you have
in your mouth?
2135
01:23:43,857 --> 01:23:46,526
Duke murdered
a peacock.