1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,472 NARRATOR: Kids, in the spring of 2008, 2 00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:04,967 something kinda strange had been happening 3 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,169 to your Uncle Barney. 4 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,210 He'd be doing great with a woman... 5 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,206 So I throw the pressurized oxygen tank in his mouth, 6 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,908 I shoot the tank, boom! 7 00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:13,279 No more shark. 8 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,817 Mr. Holland and I swim back to shore. 9 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,323 Let me freshen your drink. 10 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,715 He'd only be gone a few moments, 11 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:20,947 but when he returned... 12 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:21,991 So where were we? 13 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:24,126 ...he'd get slapped. 14 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,532 It kept happening. 15 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:26,733 Jerk! 16 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:30,656 Until finally, Lily was approached 17 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,271 by a mysterious woman 18 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,673 who warned her to stay away from Barney. 19 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,765 So when it happened once more... 20 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,637 Again?! 21 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,736 Really?! Wait... 22 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,108 ...Barney knew who to look for. 23 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,563 Hey, hey. 24 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:03,760 Hey, excuse me. 25 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,831 Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over? 26 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,499 No. 27 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,769 What are you doing on Friday? 28 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:13,043 (grunts) 29 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,107 Hey! 30 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,835 Uh... no. 31 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,079 Stop! 32 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,445 (groans) 33 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,982 Amy? 34 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,118 Abby. 35 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:26,154 Right. 36 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,174 NARRATOR: Kids, sometimes you can do something right 37 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,737 a thousand times in a row... 38 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,865 A rainbow! 39 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,640 That's beautiful! 40 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,710 What a beautiful 41 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,248 rainbow! 42 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:55,583 Another rainbow? 43 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,619 It's beautiful! 44 00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,185 But then, that thousand-and-first time... 45 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,824 You're kidding me. 46 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:04,389 Seriously, aren't you sick of these things? 47 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,889 Uh-oh. 48 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,430 Hey, how was your day? 49 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,597 Today, I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow. 50 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:13,666 A rainbow? 51 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,374 Sounds like that bitch had it coming. 52 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:19,167 Hey. 53 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,180 So, uh, I just met with the contractor. 54 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,513 And it turns out, 55 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,307 that fixing the floors of the new apartment 56 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,319 is going to cost a lot more than the estimate. 57 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,681 But we can barely afford that to begin with. 58 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,750 I hate to say this, 59 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,559 but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff. 60 00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:35,622 Whoa! Marshall, 61 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,959 that's just a game we play in the bedroom. 62 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,825 I mean your clothes. 63 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,803 All those designer pieces and everything. 64 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:42,962 What? 65 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,230 Why just my clothes? 66 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,728 We can sell my stuff, too, 67 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,729 but I got to tell you, 68 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,170 I think your Marc Jacobs cocktail dress 69 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,536 is going to go for a lot more 70 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,473 than my "Split Happens" bowling shirt. 71 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,539 Dude. (whispering): I'm not selling that. 72 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,813 I've already made the Website. 73 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,207 You made a Website? 74 00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,849 Yeah, it's called 75 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:03,923 "Lily-and-Marshall-sell- their-stuff-dot-com." 76 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,594 No, you know what would be a better name for the site? 77 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:11,685 Guy-forces-his-wife- to-dress-in-a-garbage-bag- 78 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:15,559 for-the-next- three-years-dot-com. 79 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,959 Whoa. 80 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,700 That's real. 81 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:19,896 Now I'm worried. 82 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,537 That woman is actually wearing a-a garbage bag. 83 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,073 Hmm, but, girlfriend, 84 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,707 you cannot pull off a tall kitchen. 85 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:29,944 Why are you trying to ruin my life? 86 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,550 Well, you slept with me and then you never called me again. 87 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,983 And? 88 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:34,977 That's it. 89 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,448 That's it? 90 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,487 As far as I'm concerned, 91 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,751 if I leave you safe on dry land 92 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,189 with adequate transportation home, 93 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,294 you've got nothing to complain about. 94 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,085 Well, it hurt, okay? 95 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,626 And then Ted, the love of my life, 96 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,332 started dating my boss instead of me. 97 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,904 Do you know how that feels? 98 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:51,231 Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley. 99 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,299 Abby! Abby. 100 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,337 A few weeks ago, 101 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,672 Ted dumped me as his wingman. 102 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,367 You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? 103 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,209 I was Ted's best friend for seven years. 104 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,835 Ted said Marshall was his best friend. 105 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,140 Seven years! 106 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,881 Sorry. 107 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,046 Ted. 108 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,184 What an idiot. 109 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,278 With his stupid 110 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,991 "meaningful relationship" with Stella. 111 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:13,993 Ted. 112 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,264 Ted. 113 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,293 I hate Ted. 114 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,457 I hate Ted more. 115 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,325 Are you as turned on as I am? 116 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,633 Probably not quite as much. 117 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,395 (sighs) 118 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,004 I'm sorry I yelled out "Ted." 119 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,466 I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby." 120 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:30,966 I am Abby. 121 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,008 Oh, cool. 122 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,783 This is insane. 123 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,812 Has Lily even worn half this stuff? 124 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,447 Oh, yeah, like there's nothing in your closet 125 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:39,682 you've never worn? 126 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,547 As a matter of fact, no, there isn't. 127 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,175 Whatever, red cowboy boots. Hey, 128 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,521 those are nice boots. 129 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,046 I totally pull those off. 130 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,760 Hey, Lil, 131 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:49,962 if I were to say 132 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,893 "Ted could never pull them off," 133 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,329 What would I be talking about? His red cowboy boots. 134 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,625 I totally pull them off! 135 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,366 It's a classic Western look. 136 00:04:57,431 --> 00:05:00,331 Oh, okay, uh, today's category: 137 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,841 classic Westerns that involve red cowboy boots. 138 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:04,874 Ooh, ooh! Robin. 139 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,678 "The Good, the Bad, and the Fabulous." 140 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:08,481 Ooh! 141 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,282 "The Magnificent Kevin." 142 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,945 "No Country for Straight Men." 143 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,024 (laughing) 144 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,853 I don't want to sell my clothes! 145 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:19,949 Oh, I know, sweetie. 146 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,020 Come here. 147 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,288 Yeah. 148 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,186 Mmm. Is this a hundred percent silk? 149 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,827 Lily, 150 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,463 listen, we really need the money. 151 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,728 I have some leads on a job, but until then, 152 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,327 I just... I don't know what else we can do. 153 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,700 I'll sell my paintings! 154 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,139 What? 155 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,214 Yeah, I'll sell my paintings. 156 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,712 Good oil paintings go for like, $500. 157 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:42,805 Yeah. 158 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,906 Totally. 159 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,077 But... 160 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,175 Kids, sometimes you can do something right 161 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:48,977 a thousand times in a row... 162 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,149 I love it. 163 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,847 It's a masterpiece. 164 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,791 That's it. We're selling the TV. 165 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,356 I just want to come home and stare at this 166 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,425 all day. Aw. 167 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,633 Somebody call the cops! 168 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,255 My wife stole an awesome painting from the museum! 169 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,601 Aw. 170 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,570 But then, that thousand-and-first time... 171 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,867 ...that kind of money only goes for real paintings. 172 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,309 Uh-oh. 173 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,583 What does that mean? 174 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,213 Look, it just, it just means 175 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,048 that-that we need money right now 176 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,353 and I'm not sure that selling your paintings 177 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,676 is-is how we're going to get it. 178 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,651 You don't believe in me. 179 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,286 No, wait, wait! 180 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,455 Of c... 181 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,963 of course I believe in you! 182 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,494 Marshall, I am proud of my work as an artist. 183 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,301 My paintings are good. 184 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,132 I bet Robin would buy one. 185 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,467 What now? 186 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,933 I love your painting, 187 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,241 I just... I'm trying to be realistic. 188 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,543 Well, how much money do we need 189 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,206 for the contractor to finish the job? 190 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,784 About 1,500 bucks. 191 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,142 Okay. 192 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,650 So, if I can sell three of my paintings at 500 bucks a pop, 193 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,784 then I get to keep all my clothes. 194 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:56,949 Babe, 195 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,347 we need money fast. 196 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,748 Well, give me a week. 197 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,250 (sighs) 198 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,291 Okay, a-a week. 199 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,756 Fine. Fine. 200 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,125 Fine. 201 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,137 Pulling. 202 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,636 Them. 203 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,638 Off. 204 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,580 NARRATOR: Lily's first move in the great art challenge of 2008 205 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,521 was to display one of her favorite paintings 206 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:33,786 at her friend's gallery. 207 00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,964 The night didn't go so well. 208 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:41,263 * * 209 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,228 But then at the last minute... 210 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,926 I love it. 211 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:45,698 You do? 212 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,226 Yeah, your top. It's gorgeous. 213 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,640 Is that 100% silk? 214 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,402 It's not for sale! My clothes are not for sale! 215 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,671 So the next day, 216 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,610 Lily took her painting to a coffee house 217 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,975 that displayed local artists. 218 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,153 We've been sitting here for hours 219 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,811 and nobody's even glanced at my painting. 220 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:01,521 Come on. 221 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,082 Let's start talking it up. 222 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,590 Wow! 223 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,252 I really like that painting! 224 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,020 It's neat! 225 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,559 The-the colors are neat. 226 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,055 The-the shapes are neat. 227 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,026 It's really just... 228 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,695 neat. 229 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:18,798 What? 230 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,266 Observe. (clears throat) 231 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,974 I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork 232 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,268 that, combined with the fluid composition, 233 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,610 creates an almost Kandinsky-like emotional resonance. 234 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:34,378 Yes, and you can still enjoy it 235 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,677 even if you're not a pretentious douche. 236 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:40,220 Can you clarify something for me about your critique? 237 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,617 Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?" 238 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,591 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 239 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,029 Uh, then again, red cowboy boots. 240 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,025 I pull these off! 241 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,256 (all laugh) 242 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,430 I pull these off! 243 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,799 You know what I hate most about Ted? 244 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,198 What? 245 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,269 His stupid hair. 246 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,768 His stupid, lame awesome hair. 247 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,911 It's so stupid and awesome. 248 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,553 You know what I hate most about Ted? What? 249 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,875 How he's always like, 250 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,849 "Oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship. 251 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,089 I care about the people I have sex with." 252 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,524 He's so lame. 253 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,289 He's so lame and awesome. 254 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,588 You know what he needs? 255 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:21,661 He needs 256 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,499 to see just how horrible he is 257 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,873 when he's in a relationship. 258 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:28,672 Yeah, and I need to show Ted that I'm over him. 259 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,936 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 260 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,874 I think so. 261 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,080 You're thinking of having sex with Ted? 262 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:40,280 After four days without selling a single painting, 263 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,617 Lily was getting desperate. 264 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,122 Painting for sale! 265 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,023 $500! 266 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,115 Lifelong dream hanging in the balance! 267 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,888 It's like 268 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,927 they don't even see us. 269 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,192 Yeah, we're dirt to them. 270 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,731 What do you need money for? 271 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,126 Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors 272 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,268 in my new apartment. 273 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,372 You? 274 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,003 Heroin. 275 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,369 Oh. 276 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,337 Do you like heroin? 277 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,466 Love it. 278 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,940 In fact, if you sell that, 279 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,039 I'm going to take your money and go buy some more heroin. 280 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,951 Thanks for your honesty, Crazy Sock Guy. 281 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,187 Oh, I'm never gonna sell this... 282 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,392 It's not very good. 283 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,419 And just as she was about to lose all hope, 284 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:27,161 something amazing happened. 285 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,157 Oh, my God! 286 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,159 Ha! 287 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,430 500 bucks! 288 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,668 Who's a real painter now, Marshall? 289 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,644 Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter. 290 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:36,873 Oh, I know, sweetie. 291 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,907 And since I'm a professional artist now, 292 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,843 I'm going to sketch you an Aldrin original, 293 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,140 you know, to say thanks 294 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,111 for being such a supportive husband. 295 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,249 I'm thinking about calling it... 296 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,045 "Suck It!" 297 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,577 Lily, come on. 298 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,721 I'm proud of you. 299 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:53,786 Who-who bought it? 300 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,424 Well, that's the best part. 301 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,288 A gay couple without kids. 302 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,857 A G-CWOK! 303 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,856 You bagged a G-CWOK?! 304 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,258 Yeah, that's right. 305 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,799 They are the heart and soul of the art-buying community. 306 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:05,995 You know what you should do? 307 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,396 You should call up the G-CWOKs 308 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,567 and offer them a free painting 309 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:09,935 if they throw a private art party 310 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,373 for all their G-CWOK friends. 311 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,368 That's an amazing idea. 312 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,139 I'm going to go call them. 313 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,607 (gasping): I can probably sell two more paintings with time to spare. 314 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,007 Oh, wait, Marshall. 315 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,609 There was something I had to tell you. 316 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,250 What was it? 317 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,445 Oh, that's right. 318 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,886 (singsongy): Suck it. 319 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,585 Hey. 320 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:36,230 Ted, fancy bumping into you here. 321 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,726 Have you guys met my girlfriend Abby? 322 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:39,869 Uh, yeah. 323 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,273 Hi, Abby. Hello, 324 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,744 Abby. So, uh, 325 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,373 s-so you guys are dating now? 326 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,407 That's right. 327 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,082 I am done with this whole being awesome thing. 328 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,411 Now I'm all about farmers' markets 329 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:52,946 and day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts. 330 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,153 Isn't that right, sweetie? 331 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,024 That's right. 332 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,452 And girlfriends are lame. 333 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,786 Unless they're me. 334 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,551 I miss you, Ted. 335 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,249 BARNEY: Abby and I 336 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,861 are in love. 337 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,063 Not hot passionate love. 338 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,355 Couple love. 339 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,826 You know, movie night with my girlfriend, 340 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,396 then waiting for her to go to bed 341 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,473 so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy 342 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,203 by the cold, blue light of my computer monitor. 343 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,667 We're showing Ted how lame he is. 344 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,139 You don't have to say it, though. 345 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:25,209 Uh, okay, Barney, you can stop. 346 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:26,208 Stop what, Ted? 347 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,179 Stop being in love? 348 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,677 Next he'll ask us to stop breathing. 349 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,478 (both laughing) 350 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,390 We can't stop breathing, Ted. 351 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,092 Your hair looks amazing. 352 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,664 Um, Barney, I, I see what you're doing. 353 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,834 Please stop. 354 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,132 Not before I share with you 355 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,203 what being in a relationship leads to, Ted. 356 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,203 Abby, 357 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,204 Pookie Bear... 358 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,136 I am so pathetically desperate for you that... 359 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,243 aw, heck, I'll just say it. 360 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,435 Will you marry me? 361 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,580 (gasping): Wait, really? 362 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:02,776 I would never joke about true love. 363 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,723 Yes, I'll marry you. 364 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,824 Okay. (applause) 365 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:06,846 (laughing) 366 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,890 Thank you, thank you. 367 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,557 I have to call my mom. 368 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,334 (laughs) 369 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,963 That's you. 370 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:18,528 Uh, yeah, I don't think Abby knows you're kidding. 371 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,128 Uh, yes, she does. 372 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,300 It finally happened, Mama. 373 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:25,269 I just wish Daddy were alive to walk me down the aisle. 374 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,539 Totally committed to the bit. 375 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,939 Yes, Lily Aldrin. 376 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,811 I sold you the painting earlier today. 377 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,650 Oh, honey, hello. 378 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:35,954 You sound happy. 379 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,216 Are you kidding? We're popping the champagne right now. 380 00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:42,155 Well, I just wanted to offer you an exclusive chance 381 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,422 to view some of my other paintings. 382 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:48,661 Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, oh, I guess I should have told you. 383 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,598 We just bought that for the frame. 384 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,003 What? 385 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,895 Yeah, it's an original Anton Kreutzer, 386 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,097 a very rare frame from the turn of the century. 387 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,839 So... y-you didn't like my painting? 388 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,907 Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, no, not at all. 389 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,276 But you know, 390 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,354 good for you. 391 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,753 Okay. 392 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,154 Wow. 393 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,886 Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I... 394 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,393 can I at least get it back? 395 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,764 Yeah, no, we don't have it anymore. 396 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,394 Where is it? 397 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,289 (inhales sharply) 398 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,901 I see. 399 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,974 H-He threw out my painting. 400 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,840 Champagne for everyone on me, 401 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,413 the happiest guy in the world. 402 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,572 (cheering) 403 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,041 Ginger ale. It's a bit. 404 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,254 This is great. 405 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,375 My dream of becoming an artist is dead, 406 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,651 and now I'm watching my wardrobe disappear 407 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,749 piece by piece. 408 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,160 (chimes) 409 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,962 There goes my favorite dress. 410 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,485 This dress meant a lot to me. 411 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,460 Really? 412 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,197 Yeah. 413 00:14:56,263 --> 00:15:00,673 It was spring of 2004 and I had been having a hard few months. 414 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:05,338 Day-am. 415 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,735 I got a two-syllable "damn" in this dress. 416 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,838 A two-syllable "damn." 417 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,010 That's the dream. Yeah. 418 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,750 Now she belongs to... 419 00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:19,554 CanadaGirl@MetroNewsOne.com. 420 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,249 It's still in the family. 421 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,262 Lily, 422 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,033 you're not going to believe this. 423 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,932 Something amazing happened. What? 424 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,864 I went to the G-CWOK's apartment. 425 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,498 Really? Why? 426 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,533 Because I felt guilty. 427 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,429 This auction was my idea 428 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,970 and now you've had to sit around all day 429 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,865 while a bunch of vultures ruthlessly pick apart 430 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,567 the carcass of your wardrobe. 431 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,844 It's still in the family. 432 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,080 And more importantly, 433 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,845 I honestly love that painting 434 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,523 and I couldn't stand to think of it 435 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,151 in a trashcan someplace. 436 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,647 Well, what happened? 437 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,118 Well, hello. 438 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,257 Hi, um... Lawrence. 439 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,793 I-I'm here about the painting my wife Lily sold you-- 440 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,588 the one in the nice frame. 441 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,000 Talk about a nice frame. 442 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,703 My, my, you are a big one, aren't you? 443 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,634 And you're married to that little bit of a thing. 444 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:07,969 How does that work? 445 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,495 I'd like to find out. 446 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,500 Yeah, we get it. 447 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,611 Gay guys like you. 448 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,382 No, Lily, they love me, 449 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:16,342 but that's not the important part. 450 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,079 Here's the important part. 451 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,346 Since you're clearly a man 452 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,053 of impeccable taste and style, 453 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,715 I-I came down here to ask you: 454 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,694 what do you think of the boots? 455 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:29,523 Walter. 456 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,734 Boots. 457 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,697 Pulling. 458 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:40,726 Them. 459 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,200 Off. 460 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:47,612 I'll be in the cab. 461 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,414 G-CWOK-approved. 462 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,580 The painting. 463 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,977 Right, so, um, they told me they threw it 464 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,290 in the building's Dumpster. 465 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,751 It wasn't in there, 466 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,259 but the super told me that he'd seen one Dr. Greer-- 467 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,692 a veterinarian who works in the building-- 468 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,556 take the painting out of the trash. 469 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:06,725 Dr. Greer? 470 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,363 Who's Dr. Greer a-and why did he take my painting? 471 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,359 You're about to find out. 472 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,170 Long story short, I had to make a trash run. 473 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,835 Been a busy day-- lots of neuterings. 474 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,174 Ooh, we don't need the details. 475 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,609 Oh, n-n-no, it's not what you think. 476 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,683 Oh, thank God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, mostly just dog testicles. 477 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,742 Anyway... 478 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,250 I noticed your painting 479 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:27,453 just sitting right there on top 480 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,984 and I thought, "Hey, free painting," 481 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,320 so I brought it upstairs 482 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,316 and hung it up in Exam Room 3, 483 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,318 and then the strangest thing happened. 484 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,958 Hey, Muffin. 485 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,127 (dog growling) 486 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,526 Whoa, I think he remembers me 487 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,397 from the last time he was here. 488 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,426 (barks) 489 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,270 Take Muffin to Exam Room 3. 490 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,396 I'll meet you there. 491 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,544 I went in, expecting the worst. 492 00:17:56,376 --> 00:18:00,376 I'd never seen Muffin that calm, 493 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,617 and then a little later the same thing happened again 494 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,822 with Tidbit... 495 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,954 and King Larry... 496 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,820 and again with the Weinstein triplets. 497 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:16,756 Something about your art speaks to the canine sensibility 498 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,429 on a very primal level. 499 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:19,628 Really? 500 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,829 Dogs like my paintings? 501 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,930 Yeah. 502 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,541 But you know who it bums out? 503 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,673 Birds. 504 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:25,937 Yeah. 505 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,105 Had a parrot in there today. 506 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,444 He took one look at it, pried open his cage, 507 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,639 flew right into the ceiling fan. 508 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,022 Anyway, because your first painting worked so well, 509 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:40,124 I convinced Dr. Greer to buy four more. 510 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:42,117 Really? Mm-hmm, at $500 apiece. 511 00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,689 (gasping): That's two grand. 512 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,786 That's more than we need for the contractor. 513 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,198 Yeah, but I was actually thinking we could reinvest it. 514 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,161 In what? In you. 515 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:54,070 * * 516 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,843 NARRATOR: Marshall explained that he was building a fancy new Web site 517 00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:00,373 specifically to sell Lily's artwork to veterinarians. 518 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,682 Well, it's not exactly the clientele 519 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:05,984 I had in mind, but... 520 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,215 thank you for believing in me. 521 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,049 (wings flapping, bird squawking) 522 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,288 (thuds) 523 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,694 Man, birds do not get you. 524 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,434 (knocking) 525 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,202 Hi, sweetie. Hey, 526 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,971 I think I left my tie here. Have you seen it? 527 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,579 No, I'm in wedding-planning mode. 528 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,282 Stressville. Population: me. 529 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,554 Okay, big decision. 530 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,011 What do you think the cake should be: 531 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,079 Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss? 532 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,378 Yeah, that was a bit. 533 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,951 We were doing a bit. 534 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,288 So I'm thinking Labor Day. 535 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,894 I was going to say Fourth of July, 536 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,385 but I don't want to steal any attention away from America. 537 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:57,163 Abby, I've... I've got some bad news. 538 00:19:57,230 --> 00:20:00,200 I can't marry you. What? 539 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,567 Ted begged me not to. 540 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,095 I think he's in love with you. 541 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,340 Really? 542 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,935 Yes, our plan worked better than we ever dreamed. 543 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,137 You have to go to him. 544 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,549 Here's his home address. 545 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:13,882 But you know what? He works late, 546 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,416 so I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. 547 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,223 Oh, my God, thank you. 548 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,245 But now I feel wrong keeping this. 549 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,260 Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. 550 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,592 That's made of candy. 551 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:25,287 Later.