1 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:50,284 Would you move your dick? I can't concentrate. 2 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:53,685 You shouldn't have any trouble sinking into that hole. 3 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,072 Oh, yeah! Good shot. 4 00:00:56,072 --> 00:00:58,008 Well, how about giving me something to aim at? 5 00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:59,459 Excuse me. Support a good cause? 6 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,444 Oh. Hey, come to the Angel Ball... 7 00:01:01,444 --> 00:01:03,947 support a good cause... 8 00:01:03,947 --> 00:01:05,447 Fuck you too. 9 00:01:05,447 --> 00:01:06,932 That wasn't very angelic. 10 00:01:06,932 --> 00:01:09,902 I can't even get them to take a goddamn flyer. 11 00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:13,750 Oh, only 100 bucks for yet another boring fundraiser? 12 00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:15,774 "Angels over Pittsburgh" isn't just another charity. 13 00:01:16,275 --> 00:01:19,650 When Vic was sick, they brought him meals practically every day. 14 00:01:19,661 --> 00:01:21,162 My mom and I couldn't have done it without them. 15 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:24,620 Yeah well, unfortunately, that's not enough to get these guys to go. 16 00:01:24,632 --> 00:01:27,123 If you want to get the suckers into the big top, you gotta get a big attraction. 17 00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:29,603 Like Madonna. Or the Backstreet Boys. 18 00:01:29,603 --> 00:01:31,572 Hey, this is Pittsburgh, Sunshine, 19 00:01:31,572 --> 00:01:33,574 not your wildest dreams. 20 00:01:33,574 --> 00:01:37,060 Well, how about Pittsburgh's own Divina Devore? 21 00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:38,562 Says here she's in town. 22 00:01:38,562 --> 00:01:39,563 Oh, yeah, that's good. 23 00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:41,471 A worn-out old drag queen. 24 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,482 What kind of homosexual are you? 25 00:01:43,482 --> 00:01:44,483 The kind that fucks men. 26 00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:46,919 Divina Devore is a legend. 27 00:01:46,919 --> 00:01:48,421 She's performed before presidents. 28 00:01:48,421 --> 00:01:50,856 Ulysses S. Grant or Chester A. Arthur? 29 00:01:50,856 --> 00:01:53,742 If you got her, I bet you'd have no trouble selling tickets. 30 00:01:53,842 --> 00:01:56,728 Well, it's worth a shot. 31 00:01:59,147 --> 00:02:01,633 Here at the Centre for Early Development, 32 00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:05,637 we offer a unique educational paradigm 33 00:02:05,637 --> 00:02:09,640 which creates a safe and supportive environment 34 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,642 in which our degree candidates 35 00:02:11,642 --> 00:02:16,063 can acquire invaluable learning and social skills. 36 00:02:16,063 --> 00:02:18,565 "Degree candidates"? They're preschoolers. 37 00:02:18,565 --> 00:02:23,002 Therefore, as much as we would like to accept all our applicants, 38 00:02:23,002 --> 00:02:25,945 in order to ensure maximum focus 39 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:27,957 and individual attention, 40 00:02:27,957 --> 00:02:30,892 we can only admit a select few. 41 00:02:30,892 --> 00:02:31,392 Yes? 42 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,895 May I ask what will determine your final decision? 43 00:02:33,895 --> 00:02:38,822 The child's own unique abilities and talents will play a big part. 44 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:42,187 But, we're also trying to create 45 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:45,690 the full spectrum of human diversity, 46 00:02:45,690 --> 00:02:49,126 race, religion, socio-economic background. 47 00:02:49,126 --> 00:02:50,628 What about sexual orientation? 48 00:02:51,128 --> 00:02:52,063 Oh yes, by all means. 49 00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,998 Are there any children of same-sex couples enrolled? 50 00:02:54,498 --> 00:02:55,982 Not yet. 51 00:02:55,982 --> 00:03:03,974 But, we intend to make every effort to change that. 52 00:03:08,594 --> 00:03:10,446 A masterpiece, that's what it is. 53 00:03:10,446 --> 00:03:15,401 For 50 bucks, you'll be buying the next Michelangelo. 54 00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:16,402 Ignoramus. 55 00:03:17,253 --> 00:03:18,754 He doesn't know dick about art. 56 00:03:18,754 --> 00:03:19,722 Ah, it doesn't matter. 57 00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:22,206 You do. 58 00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,591 Justin, 59 00:03:23,591 --> 00:03:25,526 you didn't tell me you had your very own show. 60 00:03:26,027 --> 00:03:29,030 It's not exactly the Museum of Modern Art. 61 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:30,531 Ooh. 62 00:03:30,531 --> 00:03:33,367 That's next. 63 00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:35,369 You want something to eat? 64 00:03:35,369 --> 00:03:39,806 Ah, thanks, honey. I just had lunch... 65 00:03:39,806 --> 00:03:41,308 with your father. 66 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,810 Oh. I don't want to talk about him. 67 00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:46,746 Well, I wish we didn't have to either, but... 68 00:03:46,746 --> 00:03:50,182 we do. 69 00:03:50,182 --> 00:03:52,668 He says he's not going to pay for your school any more. 70 00:03:52,668 --> 00:03:55,154 Oh... that lame-ass shit. 71 00:03:55,655 --> 00:03:56,656 What's his feeble excuse? 72 00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:58,657 The stock market, and... 73 00:03:58,657 --> 00:04:02,527 supporting two households, and... 74 00:04:02,527 --> 00:04:05,480 basically 'cause he's a lame-ass shit. 75 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,482 I... I don't want you to worry. 76 00:04:07,482 --> 00:04:08,983 I spoke to the accountant, 77 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:11,985 I've a got a little in my savings. I can cash in my IRA. 78 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:13,921 I'm not taking your money. 79 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,923 You and Molly need that to live. 80 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,375 Your sister and I will be just fine. 81 00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:19,843 No, forget it. 82 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:23,780 I'll take care of it myself. 83 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,235 Ooh! 84 00:05:24,235 --> 00:05:25,737 If you ask me, 85 00:05:25,737 --> 00:05:28,656 Nobody makes a better woman than a gay man. 86 00:05:28,656 --> 00:05:30,091 What woman looks like that? 87 00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:34,596 Big red wig and tonnes of jewelry and gaudy clothes. 88 00:05:36,596 --> 00:05:38,598 My mother does not look like that. 89 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:41,996 Oh, here she comes. 90 00:05:43,019 --> 00:05:44,471 Thank you, Pittsburgh... 91 00:05:44,471 --> 00:05:47,474 for reminding me why I left. 92 00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:49,892 God, let's just hope she's not one of those maniac divas 93 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,393 who thinks she's the centre of the universe. 94 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,395 You know, snapping her fingers, bossing people around. 95 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,881 Hey, you. Tell the idiot who runs the lights 96 00:05:56,382 --> 00:05:59,385 the pin spot is supposed to be on myfaccia, not my left tit. 97 00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:00,836 Yes, ma'am. 98 00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:02,837 I mean, sir. I mean... 99 00:06:02,837 --> 00:06:03,838 Excuse me, miss devore. 100 00:06:03,838 --> 00:06:05,323 Yes? 101 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,791 I, uh... 102 00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:09,794 I just want to say your performance tonight was... 103 00:06:09,794 --> 00:06:10,795 sparkling. 104 00:06:11,296 --> 00:06:12,797 - Yeah, bubbling. - Effervescent. 105 00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:16,283 - Stop, you'll make me burp. - Miss Devore, 106 00:06:16,283 --> 00:06:20,654 Um, I thought your performance was really great. 107 00:06:20,654 --> 00:06:23,657 Well, how flattering to receive such praise from you... 108 00:06:23,657 --> 00:06:25,159 handsome young men. 109 00:06:25,159 --> 00:06:28,511 - Now, if you'll excuse me. - Wait! Uh... 110 00:06:28,511 --> 00:06:30,012 we wanted to ask you... 111 00:06:30,012 --> 00:06:32,448 For my autograph, huh? 112 00:06:32,448 --> 00:06:35,885 And, uh, for your help. 113 00:06:35,885 --> 00:06:38,386 You see, I'm organizing this charity event, 114 00:06:38,386 --> 00:06:40,388 - and... - It's for a very good cause. 115 00:06:40,388 --> 00:06:41,890 Is there ever a bad one? 116 00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:44,392 Uh, it's for "Angels over Pittsburgh." 117 00:06:44,392 --> 00:06:46,344 They prepare homecooked meals for people with AIDS. 118 00:06:46,344 --> 00:06:47,813 And I was hoping you might... 119 00:06:47,813 --> 00:06:50,781 Perform? Oh, I'd love to. 120 00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:52,216 - You would? - You would? 121 00:06:52,216 --> 00:06:55,201 If I didn't already spend half my life doing benefits. 122 00:06:55,211 --> 00:07:00,633 If I do any more, they'll have to throw one for me. 123 00:07:02,643 --> 00:07:05,645 I told you that I can pay for it myself. 124 00:07:05,645 --> 00:07:08,147 With your secret Swiss bank account? 125 00:07:08,147 --> 00:07:09,649 I'll get another job. 126 00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:14,294 - A real job, one that actually pays. - Yeah, what, making 3 to 400 a week? 127 00:07:14,304 --> 00:07:17,956 So, I will apply for a scholarship or a loan. 128 00:07:17,956 --> 00:07:21,376 What are you going to use for collateral, your ass? 129 00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:22,828 Look, stop being such a twat. 130 00:07:23,328 --> 00:07:24,329 I'm just trying to help you. 131 00:07:24,329 --> 00:07:26,265 You've helped enough. 132 00:07:26,765 --> 00:07:28,766 I practically owe you my fucking life. 133 00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:32,587 What do you mean, "practically"? 134 00:07:32,587 --> 00:07:34,055 Look, 135 00:07:34,055 --> 00:07:35,479 I don't want you to feel 136 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,991 like you always have to take care of me. 137 00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:38,960 And I don't want to feel that way either. 138 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,961 Fine then, go ahead. 139 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,971 But don't come crying to me when you succeed. 140 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,374 I love that you'd do anything for me. 141 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,376 Who said it was for you? 142 00:07:57,376 --> 00:08:00,782 I made an investment, I want it to pay off. 143 00:08:03,782 --> 00:08:05,283 Here's a dividend. 144 00:08:31,407 --> 00:08:34,410 Who the fuck wants to see some worn-out old drag queen anyway? 145 00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:36,412 Well, honey, you'll find someone else. 146 00:08:36,913 --> 00:08:37,847 It's like Ben always says, 147 00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:39,849 you have to keep a positive energy flow. 148 00:08:39,849 --> 00:08:45,186 Yeah, what would we do without Ben and his new age gobbledygook? 149 00:08:45,687 --> 00:08:47,138 You know, I wouldn't want divina devore at that benefit 150 00:08:47,138 --> 00:08:48,139 even if I could get her. 151 00:08:48,139 --> 00:08:51,076 Divina Devore? Is she in town? 152 00:08:51,576 --> 00:08:52,560 Yeah, we begged her to perform at the benefit, 153 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,561 but she turned us down. 154 00:08:54,561 --> 00:08:57,414 She always was a selfish prick. 155 00:08:57,915 --> 00:08:59,917 - You know her? - Honey, 156 00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:02,403 I knew her when she was a "him". 157 00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:03,904 He was Danny Devore then. 158 00:09:03,904 --> 00:09:05,406 We went to high school together. 159 00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:07,824 No! 160 00:09:07,824 --> 00:09:09,325 You know, maybe if you used the personal connection, 161 00:09:09,325 --> 00:09:10,827 you could convince her to change her mind. 162 00:09:11,327 --> 00:09:11,828 Me? 163 00:09:12,312 --> 00:09:12,779 You're our only hope. 164 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:14,764 I thought you didn't even want her. 165 00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:16,749 Ah, well... that was before I found out 166 00:09:16,749 --> 00:09:20,669 that she's a friend of the family. 167 00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:24,125 I'm sure she wouldn't remember me. 168 00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:29,127 Mel! Mel! 169 00:09:29,127 --> 00:09:32,079 - What? What's the mater? - Look, a letter. 170 00:09:32,079 --> 00:09:33,581 Well, you've seen one of those before. 171 00:09:33,581 --> 00:09:36,067 - It's from Gus' new school. - Hey! 172 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:39,053 Today, Baby University, tomorrow Harvard. 173 00:09:39,053 --> 00:09:40,471 Who said anything about Harvard? 174 00:09:40,471 --> 00:09:42,473 I thought everyone wanted their kid to go to Harvard. 175 00:09:42,473 --> 00:09:44,975 I feel we should at least consider Yale, or maybe Brown. 176 00:09:45,475 --> 00:09:46,476 We'll continue this in 16 years. 177 00:09:46,926 --> 00:09:50,916 Just read the letter. 178 00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:55,785 Well, what does it say? 179 00:09:55,785 --> 00:10:00,706 - He didn't get in. - What? 180 00:10:02,191 --> 00:10:03,659 It's bullshit. 181 00:10:03,659 --> 00:10:05,160 That woman made such a big deal about diversity 182 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,662 and wanting all different kinds of people. 183 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,119 Apparently not our kind of people. 184 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:09,113 And what was all that crap 185 00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:10,465 about looking for a kid with same-sex parents? 186 00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:14,352 Well if she'd meant it, we'd be off buying Gus school clothes. 187 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,854 Well, it's discrimination, that's what it is. 188 00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:18,806 Against our son. 189 00:10:18,806 --> 00:10:21,308 And for something that has nothing to do with him. 190 00:10:25,579 --> 00:10:27,681 Oh, yeah. Yeah, one more like that. 191 00:10:27,681 --> 00:10:29,082 I know you're busy, Miss Devore. 192 00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:31,084 Then why are you here? 193 00:10:31,084 --> 00:10:31,985 Yes. Yes! 194 00:10:31,985 --> 00:10:33,919 Well, I was hoping you might change your mind. 195 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,354 I don't change my mind... 196 00:10:35,354 --> 00:10:36,255 Brilliant. 197 00:10:36,655 --> 00:10:37,606 Only my underwear. 198 00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:38,941 - Sassy. - Now, 199 00:10:38,941 --> 00:10:41,981 if you'll kindly show yourself out... 200 00:10:45,181 --> 00:10:47,682 - Guess my uncle was right. - Excuse me? 201 00:10:47,682 --> 00:10:49,617 Nothing. Just something he said. 202 00:10:49,617 --> 00:10:51,119 He knew you back in high school. 203 00:10:51,619 --> 00:10:53,588 Oh, really? And who was that? 204 00:10:54,089 --> 00:10:58,675 You probably wouldn't remember. Vic Grassi. 205 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:03,063 Vic Grassi? Oh my God, I remember Vic. 206 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,065 Is he the one you told me was sick? 207 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,533 Yeah, he's doing a lot better now... 208 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,035 Now that he's on the cocktails. 209 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,470 I'm glad to hear it. 210 00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:11,821 Tell him I said hello. 211 00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:13,823 So, if Vic is your uncle, 212 00:11:13,823 --> 00:11:16,325 then, Debbie must be your mother. 213 00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:17,810 You knew my mom? 214 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:21,297 Knew her? I dated her. 215 00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:22,714 You? 216 00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:23,715 I mean... 217 00:11:23,715 --> 00:11:26,218 well, back then I was a male impersonator. 218 00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:28,220 I did a pretty convincing act too. 219 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,721 So, how's she doing? 220 00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:31,723 Practically indestructible. 221 00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:35,109 Did she become a nurse like she always wanted? 222 00:11:35,109 --> 00:11:37,111 I never knew that. 223 00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:40,030 Just a waitress. 224 00:11:40,531 --> 00:11:42,516 Jesus, I can still hear that laugh of hers. 225 00:11:43,017 --> 00:11:45,019 She'd bring down a house. 226 00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:46,520 I wish she'd been out front last night. 227 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,521 Oh, and that complexion. I tell you, kid. 228 00:11:48,521 --> 00:11:51,024 Your mom was a real looker. 229 00:11:51,024 --> 00:11:52,475 Hmm... still is. 230 00:11:52,475 --> 00:11:55,929 Just, now, there's more to look at. 231 00:11:55,929 --> 00:11:59,365 This benefit of yours, um, when is it? 232 00:11:59,365 --> 00:12:01,350 Friday night. 233 00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,851 Tell you what. I'll be there, 234 00:12:02,851 --> 00:12:05,804 after my show. 235 00:12:05,804 --> 00:12:07,806 That's so cool. 236 00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:10,309 You're doing a really good deed. Thank you. 237 00:12:10,309 --> 00:12:14,195 Don't thank me, pay me. 238 00:12:14,195 --> 00:12:17,198 So, how long has it been since you saw my mom? 239 00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:21,202 Um... well, not since that summer after graduation. 240 00:12:21,202 --> 00:12:24,688 I... I left town after that. 241 00:12:25,138 --> 00:12:26,640 I bet you have some pretty interesting stories 242 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,125 about the two of you. 243 00:12:28,558 --> 00:12:31,061 Gentlemen don't reveal such things. 244 00:12:31,061 --> 00:12:35,971 Especially gentlemen... who are ladies. 245 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:45,391 Where is he? Michael! 246 00:12:47,393 --> 00:12:49,394 I cannot believe you got her to change her mind. 247 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,863 I can't believe Deb dated a drag queen. 248 00:12:51,863 --> 00:12:53,865 How'd they tell each other apart? 249 00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:55,850 At least now we know who taught her how to do her hair. 250 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,785 You realize this officially makes your mother 251 00:12:57,785 --> 00:12:59,287 the biggest fag hag of all the time. 252 00:12:59,287 --> 00:13:00,772 First Vic, 253 00:13:00,772 --> 00:13:02,206 and then you, and now... 254 00:13:02,206 --> 00:13:04,688 her high school sweetheart. Oh, hi, Debbie. 255 00:13:04,691 --> 00:13:06,160 Hey, guys. Hi, baby. 256 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,611 I hear your old boyfriend's in town. 257 00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:10,113 What the fuck's he talking about? 258 00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:12,115 I met someone that you used to know. 259 00:13:12,115 --> 00:13:13,100 Yeah? Who? 260 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:17,053 Danny Devore. 261 00:13:17,053 --> 00:13:18,054 Danny Devore? 262 00:13:18,054 --> 00:13:20,907 Better known as... Divina Devore. 263 00:13:20,907 --> 00:13:23,221 Michael got her to agree to perform at the Angel Ball. 264 00:13:23,259 --> 00:13:24,677 Yeah, thanks to you. 265 00:13:24,677 --> 00:13:26,112 What did I have to do with it? 266 00:13:26,112 --> 00:13:29,086 Oh, she said she couldn't possibly turn down the son of her former flame. 267 00:13:29,097 --> 00:13:30,565 You shut your mouth. 268 00:13:30,565 --> 00:13:33,943 He had no right to talk to my kid about my personal life. 269 00:13:33,952 --> 00:13:35,387 Well, he didn't say anything. 270 00:13:35,387 --> 00:13:37,339 He just said that you two used to go out. 271 00:13:37,339 --> 00:13:38,822 Yeah, it was like a million years ago. 272 00:13:38,822 --> 00:13:43,827 I wouldn't know him if I... fell over him. 273 00:13:43,827 --> 00:13:47,314 It's crazy. 274 00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:11,737 Shouldn't you be holding on to that? 275 00:14:11,737 --> 00:14:14,709 It doesn't much matter since it's my last one. 276 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,174 Le Beau Geste. 277 00:14:17,174 --> 00:14:19,675 Sorely lacking in fiction since the 19th century French novel. 278 00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:23,180 How noble of you to revive it. 279 00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:24,181 Fuck off. 280 00:14:24,665 --> 00:14:25,633 Did you find a job? 281 00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:29,052 I must've tried 20 restaurants. No one's hiring. 282 00:14:29,052 --> 00:14:30,487 What'd the financial aid office say? 283 00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:34,408 My fucking father makes too much money. 284 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,912 Well, my offer still stands. 285 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,913 So does my answer. 286 00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:42,915 I'm gonna do this on my own. 287 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,371 Can you give me a hand? 288 00:14:49,371 --> 00:14:54,226 See? Some people know how to accept help. 289 00:14:55,226 --> 00:14:56,694 It looks like a good night. 290 00:14:56,694 --> 00:14:59,647 This is nothing compared to the weekend. 291 00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:01,582 Really? 292 00:15:01,582 --> 00:15:03,084 'Cause I've been looking for something, but... 293 00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:04,585 I mean, it really sucks out there. 294 00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:08,538 Why do you think I'm doing this? 295 00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:11,975 You know if they're looking for more dancers? 296 00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:13,477 Gary's always looking. 297 00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:26,906 Seeing what a dork I was? 298 00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:28,341 Oh, you weren't a dork. 299 00:15:28,341 --> 00:15:29,842 No, I was a dork. 300 00:15:29,842 --> 00:15:31,793 Fat chance. 301 00:15:32,277 --> 00:15:35,780 You have no idea how fat. 302 00:15:36,281 --> 00:15:37,282 No, you were more a dweeb. 303 00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:39,284 - Thanks. - Brian, 304 00:15:39,284 --> 00:15:41,749 - on the other hand... - I know, was a total turn-on. 305 00:15:41,753 --> 00:15:43,754 I was going to say spaz. 306 00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:47,191 Is a spaz better or worse than a dweeb? 307 00:15:47,191 --> 00:15:50,194 Oh... oh, far worse. 308 00:15:50,194 --> 00:15:53,645 Did I mention I have a thing for dweebs? 309 00:15:54,114 --> 00:15:57,617 Later. I wanted to check out my mom's old stuff. 310 00:15:57,617 --> 00:15:59,552 Ah, well, wait. 311 00:15:59,552 --> 00:16:01,554 That's kind of personal, isn't it? 312 00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:04,547 Well, she never really told me much, you know. 313 00:16:04,557 --> 00:16:06,559 Every time I'd ask about back then, 314 00:16:06,559 --> 00:16:09,561 she'd say, "I did my homework and listened to my folks. 315 00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:10,996 And you should do the same." 316 00:16:12,998 --> 00:16:15,500 She must've been a cheerleader. 317 00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:18,503 Or maybe those were Vic's. 318 00:16:22,456 --> 00:16:24,458 Oh... 319 00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:28,446 Her yearbook. 320 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,449 Check out the girls' hairdos. 321 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,450 Yeah. 322 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,901 Really... 323 00:16:35,402 --> 00:16:36,403 boring. 324 00:16:36,403 --> 00:16:38,338 Really straight. 325 00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:39,839 Where's your mom? 326 00:16:39,839 --> 00:16:41,341 Um... 327 00:16:41,841 --> 00:16:43,843 Grassi, Grassi, Grassi. Gra... 328 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,844 Deborah Jean Grassi. 329 00:16:45,844 --> 00:16:48,280 Like Divina said, mom was a real looker. 330 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,281 Yeah. 331 00:16:49,281 --> 00:16:52,718 Wonder what he looked like. 332 00:16:52,718 --> 00:16:54,720 What comes after "spaz"? 333 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,722 Oh, "scary". 334 00:16:57,722 --> 00:17:01,225 So... Decarlo, Dietrich... 335 00:17:01,225 --> 00:17:06,714 Danny Devore. 336 00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,216 What? 337 00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:11,718 He's kind of cute. 338 00:17:11,718 --> 00:17:14,749 If you have a thing for dweebs. 339 00:17:28,651 --> 00:17:30,636 They said I should talk to you about a job. 340 00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:32,088 Doing what? 341 00:17:32,088 --> 00:17:33,522 Dancing. 342 00:17:33,522 --> 00:17:36,474 Ever dance professionally? 343 00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:39,077 No, but I... I dance here all the time. 344 00:17:39,087 --> 00:17:43,898 Yeah, you and 1,000 other queers. What makes you special? 345 00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:44,899 I was King of Babylon. 346 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,886 Who wasn't? Sorry, your majesty. 347 00:17:48,886 --> 00:17:50,387 I don't have any positions open. 348 00:17:50,387 --> 00:17:52,490 I'm sure that if you saw me... 349 00:17:52,595 --> 00:17:55,374 Hey, I'm busy. 350 00:18:12,374 --> 00:18:15,377 One dance, that's all. 351 00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:19,881 If I suck, you can kick my ass out. 352 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,883 You don't have much of a body. 353 00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:26,387 No pecs, no abs, no biceps. 354 00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:29,390 I have a great ass, and I'm blonde. 355 00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:32,893 You have no idea how far that gets me. 356 00:18:35,895 --> 00:18:39,883 One dance. Make it good. 357 00:19:00,585 --> 00:19:03,087 Try not to step on my wontons. 358 00:19:03,087 --> 00:19:04,589 He said I'd be pulling anywhere 359 00:19:04,589 --> 00:19:06,591 from 2 to 300 a night. 360 00:19:06,591 --> 00:19:09,043 Well, that'd better be all you're pulling, young man. 361 00:19:09,043 --> 00:19:11,546 And remember, you still have your school work to do. 362 00:19:11,546 --> 00:19:14,047 And what if I don't? 363 00:19:14,047 --> 00:19:17,050 You'll have to be spanked. 364 00:19:17,551 --> 00:19:22,055 Yeah, just try it. 365 00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:27,059 Down. Stop! 366 00:19:27,059 --> 00:19:28,561 - You like it. - Ow! 367 00:19:28,561 --> 00:19:31,447 I was kidding! Stop, stop. 368 00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:34,917 Oh, yeah! Daddy, don't hurt me too bad. 369 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:36,852 Oh... 370 00:19:37,353 --> 00:19:39,354 - Jesus. - Oh, note to self: 371 00:19:39,854 --> 00:19:41,856 Make sure to lock the fucking door. 372 00:19:41,856 --> 00:19:44,792 I don't care. I'm going to ask him anyway. 373 00:19:45,276 --> 00:19:46,277 Kung pao chicken? 374 00:19:46,277 --> 00:19:47,779 You're wasting your time. 375 00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:49,180 Spicy bean curd? 376 00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,647 Whenever we ask him to do something, 377 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:52,149 he systematically turns us down. 378 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,617 Ask me what? 379 00:19:53,617 --> 00:19:55,552 I want you to be my husband. 380 00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:57,054 You already have one. 381 00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:58,038 It's for Gus. 382 00:19:58,038 --> 00:20:00,943 He got rejected by the Centre for Early Development. 383 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:03,359 And we think it's because he's got two moms. 384 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:08,804 So, now you want to pass him off as the product of a happy hetero home life? 385 00:20:08,814 --> 00:20:09,815 Fuck that shit. 386 00:20:10,299 --> 00:20:11,907 I told you, he's a total heterophobe. 387 00:20:11,918 --> 00:20:12,858 That's true, he is. 388 00:20:12,868 --> 00:20:14,337 It's true, I am. 389 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:17,289 Brian, you know I would never ask you to compromise your values. 390 00:20:17,289 --> 00:20:18,223 Such as they are. 391 00:20:18,223 --> 00:20:19,674 But you've always said, 392 00:20:19,674 --> 00:20:22,627 "It's not lying if they make you lie." 393 00:20:22,627 --> 00:20:24,563 You want Gus to have the same advantages 394 00:20:24,563 --> 00:20:28,349 as kids who've got a mommy and a daddy, don't you? 395 00:20:28,349 --> 00:20:30,351 You want him to go to the best schools, receive the best education? 396 00:20:30,351 --> 00:20:31,852 Then you've to help us make sure 397 00:20:31,852 --> 00:20:35,289 5hat despite what other people might think of us, 398 00:20:35,289 --> 00:20:37,741 he's not the one who suffers. 399 00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,159 So we found another school. 400 00:20:39,659 --> 00:20:42,614 And we have an appointment tomorrow. 401 00:20:44,614 --> 00:20:48,117 - How long did they go out for? - I can't remember. 402 00:20:48,117 --> 00:20:50,620 - Was it serious? - How do I know? 403 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,622 - Did she love him? - She didn't say. 404 00:20:53,622 --> 00:20:55,624 Didn't say? There's nothing mom doesn't say. 405 00:20:55,624 --> 00:20:58,126 Look, Michael, it was a long time ago. 406 00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,545 Why don't you ask her? 407 00:21:00,545 --> 00:21:02,547 Ask me what? 408 00:21:02,547 --> 00:21:05,499 About Danny Devore. 409 00:21:05,499 --> 00:21:09,804 Christ. I haven't heard his name mentioned in 30 years, 410 00:21:09,804 --> 00:21:12,173 and now, all of a sudden, it's all I hear. 411 00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:14,625 I saw his picture in your yearbook. 412 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,576 Who the hell told you you could be looking in my yearbook? 413 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,578 You never said I couldn't. 414 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,080 It's just that this picture of him, 415 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,015 it looks a lot like me. 416 00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:22,999 What are you talking about? 417 00:21:22,999 --> 00:21:25,001 It doesn't look the least bit like you. 418 00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:28,921 You don't even have your reading glasses on. 419 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:33,425 Fine. Make me feel older than I already do. 420 00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:35,363 There. 421 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:40,332 I still don't see it. Vic, do you see it? 422 00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:42,333 Can't say I do. 423 00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:43,835 Ah, come on. 424 00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,337 We have the same eyes, the same nose, the same mouth. 425 00:21:46,337 --> 00:21:47,839 Tell me that's not my chin. 426 00:21:48,339 --> 00:21:49,257 Not even close. 427 00:21:49,257 --> 00:21:50,758 And trust me, I know chins. 428 00:21:51,259 --> 00:21:53,760 I have several of them. 429 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,196 Ma, I just want you to tell me. 430 00:21:56,196 --> 00:21:57,698 Tell you what? 431 00:21:58,198 --> 00:22:00,701 Why Danny Devore and I look so much alike. 432 00:22:00,701 --> 00:22:02,169 I've got to put the clothes in the dryer. 433 00:22:02,169 --> 00:22:03,670 Stay right there. 434 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,639 What are you getting at? 435 00:22:05,639 --> 00:22:08,140 He said that you went out summer after graduation. 436 00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:09,141 That was 1969. 437 00:22:09,642 --> 00:22:12,561 I was born March, 1970. 438 00:22:14,063 --> 00:22:17,066 I don't believe what I'm hearing. 439 00:22:17,066 --> 00:22:20,568 Are you asking me if some old drag queen 440 00:22:20,568 --> 00:22:25,006 that I once knew in high school is your father? 441 00:22:25,006 --> 00:22:26,975 You know who your father is. 442 00:22:26,975 --> 00:22:29,394 This is your father. 443 00:22:29,394 --> 00:22:32,830 John Michael Novotny. 444 00:22:32,830 --> 00:22:34,798 Lieutenant in the U.S. Army. 445 00:22:34,798 --> 00:22:37,735 Died in Vietnam, April 10th, 1970. 446 00:22:37,735 --> 00:22:39,737 - Two weeks after you were born. - Two weeks after I was born. 447 00:22:39,737 --> 00:22:40,738 I know. 448 00:22:40,738 --> 00:22:42,723 You told me a million times... 449 00:22:42,723 --> 00:22:44,223 that this guy in this picture, 450 00:22:44,223 --> 00:22:46,676 who doesn't even look like me, is my dad. 451 00:22:46,676 --> 00:22:48,611 But that's all you've told me. 452 00:22:48,611 --> 00:22:50,613 Well, what else do you want to know? 453 00:22:50,613 --> 00:22:52,031 Well, who are my grandparents? 454 00:22:52,031 --> 00:22:52,965 They're dead. 455 00:22:53,466 --> 00:22:54,400 Aunts and uncles? 456 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,834 There weren't any. 457 00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:57,302 So, he was just a war hero? 458 00:22:57,302 --> 00:22:59,254 "Just"? 459 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:02,674 They awarded him the purple heart. 460 00:23:02,674 --> 00:23:04,092 He was on a rescue mission, 461 00:23:04,576 --> 00:23:05,577 carving his way through the jungle 462 00:23:05,577 --> 00:23:07,079 when a land mine exploded. 463 00:23:07,579 --> 00:23:09,580 You said it was a jeep accident. 464 00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:12,516 He was carving his way in a jeep... 465 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,518 when it ran over a land mine. 466 00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,454 You can't even keep the goddamn story straight. 467 00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:18,422 Stop confusing me! 468 00:23:18,422 --> 00:23:20,907 Look, it was a long time ago. It doesn't matter now. 469 00:23:20,907 --> 00:23:22,909 I just want to know the truth. 470 00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:25,912 Are you calling me a liar? 471 00:23:25,912 --> 00:23:27,914 Your own mother? 472 00:23:27,914 --> 00:23:29,916 I told you who your father was, 473 00:23:30,417 --> 00:23:33,781 and I expect you to believe me. 474 00:23:47,265 --> 00:23:49,767 Gonna go see grandma? 475 00:23:49,767 --> 00:23:51,739 Just promise me you'll behave. 476 00:23:51,753 --> 00:23:54,255 I won't mention dick, if you don't mention pussy. 477 00:23:54,255 --> 00:23:55,757 You know what I mean. 478 00:23:55,757 --> 00:23:56,958 I don't want you getting into one of your moods and... 479 00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:58,759 Hey, I want the homo-haters to like our kid 480 00:23:58,759 --> 00:24:00,761 just as much as you do. 481 00:24:00,761 --> 00:24:02,262 You look very handsome in that suit. 482 00:24:02,262 --> 00:24:04,748 Well, I took a bath and everything. 483 00:24:04,748 --> 00:24:08,251 This is it. Don't be nervous. 484 00:24:08,251 --> 00:24:14,206 If my heart rate was any lower, I'd be dead. 485 00:24:14,206 --> 00:24:18,711 Ooh... 486 00:24:18,711 --> 00:24:20,212 Hi. Bye. 487 00:24:20,212 --> 00:24:23,214 - Oh, hello. - Hello, we're the, uh.... 488 00:24:23,214 --> 00:24:25,717 - The Kinneys? - Who? 489 00:24:25,717 --> 00:24:29,220 - Uh, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Kinney? - Right! 490 00:24:29,721 --> 00:24:31,723 Sometimes she forgets. Don't you, honey? 491 00:24:31,723 --> 00:24:33,725 I didn't forget. He's such a kidder. 492 00:24:33,725 --> 00:24:35,225 Oh, oh, please. 493 00:24:35,225 --> 00:24:43,233 Uh, I'll tell Ms. Harper you're here. 494 00:24:51,724 --> 00:24:55,628 I told you to behave... 495 00:24:56,128 --> 00:24:59,120 Well, you could send me to the Principal's office but I'm already here. 496 00:24:59,130 --> 00:25:01,099 This is all so strange. 497 00:25:01,099 --> 00:25:03,101 I mean, I always knew one day I'd have a child. 498 00:25:03,101 --> 00:25:05,604 Like Gus. And he'd go to a school, like this one. 499 00:25:06,104 --> 00:25:08,607 But I never imagined it to be like this. 500 00:25:08,607 --> 00:25:11,575 Well, there's no predicting. 501 00:25:11,575 --> 00:25:13,077 Oops, I said "dick", 502 00:25:13,077 --> 00:25:14,995 Didn't I? 503 00:25:14,995 --> 00:25:18,901 Can't you be serious, for even a minute? 504 00:25:21,001 --> 00:25:25,955 You're on. 505 00:25:25,955 --> 00:25:28,458 In fact, there was even a time... 506 00:25:28,458 --> 00:25:30,960 when we first met... 507 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,965 that I thought this could've been the reality. 508 00:25:36,465 --> 00:25:39,968 Did you ever feel that way? 509 00:25:40,469 --> 00:25:44,406 No. 510 00:25:44,406 --> 00:25:48,910 Well, you wanted me to be serious, I... 511 00:25:49,410 --> 00:25:53,915 that doesn't mean I don't love you. 512 00:25:53,915 --> 00:25:56,367 Mr. And Mrs. Kinney? 513 00:25:56,367 --> 00:25:58,369 - Oh. Minute's up. - Oh... yeah. 514 00:25:58,870 --> 00:26:00,304 Oh, please, don't be embarrassed. 515 00:26:00,304 --> 00:26:03,905 It's always nice to see young parents expressing affection. 516 00:26:04,224 --> 00:26:05,225 And I think it's important for children 517 00:26:05,225 --> 00:26:08,094 to see that too, don't you agree? 518 00:26:08,094 --> 00:26:09,596 Come into my office, please, 519 00:26:09,596 --> 00:26:12,003 and we'll discuss Gus' future. 520 00:26:18,003 --> 00:26:20,506 I'd never, in a million years, know it was you. 521 00:26:20,506 --> 00:26:23,993 30 years is a long time. 522 00:26:23,993 --> 00:26:25,927 Try 31. 523 00:26:25,927 --> 00:26:26,928 But who's counting? 524 00:26:26,928 --> 00:26:29,316 So, come on in. 525 00:26:31,316 --> 00:26:32,317 Can I fix you a drink? 526 00:26:32,817 --> 00:26:35,824 No. No, thanks. 527 00:26:40,824 --> 00:26:43,327 - God, you got more shit than I do. - These days, 528 00:26:43,827 --> 00:26:45,829 it takes a little longer to look fabulous. 529 00:26:45,829 --> 00:26:49,333 Tell me about it. 530 00:26:49,833 --> 00:26:55,338 - Is this real? - Honey, I wish. 531 00:26:55,338 --> 00:26:59,842 So, how are you doing, my Divina? 532 00:27:03,328 --> 00:27:05,280 That's what you called me in high school. 533 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,215 Now, your son tells me you work at the diner 534 00:27:07,215 --> 00:27:10,151 and Vic was sick, and now he's better. 535 00:27:10,151 --> 00:27:11,653 30 years in a nutshell. 536 00:27:12,137 --> 00:27:15,472 - 31. - Yeah. 537 00:27:15,472 --> 00:27:20,894 Michael... is a very nice young man. 538 00:27:21,395 --> 00:27:22,396 I'm very proud of him. 539 00:27:22,396 --> 00:27:24,365 And I would be too. 540 00:27:24,365 --> 00:27:29,302 He's polite, caring, good looking. 541 00:27:29,302 --> 00:27:33,256 In fact, he reminded me a lot of someone I used to know. 542 00:27:33,256 --> 00:27:34,741 Only at first, 543 00:27:34,741 --> 00:27:36,676 I couldn't figure out who it was. 544 00:27:36,676 --> 00:27:40,128 Then when I discovered that you're his mother, i realized... 545 00:27:40,128 --> 00:27:42,130 I was looking at myself. 546 00:27:42,631 --> 00:27:44,633 In a mirror, through time. 547 00:27:44,633 --> 00:27:49,504 Why didn't you ever tell me? 548 00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:53,874 You'd already left town. 549 00:27:53,874 --> 00:27:57,378 Run off to the big city to be a star. 550 00:27:57,378 --> 00:27:58,879 What was I supposed to do? Call you up 551 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,331 and say, "Hey! 552 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:03,267 Guess what? You're a dad. 553 00:28:03,267 --> 00:28:09,205 Come back and marry me." 554 00:28:09,706 --> 00:28:12,208 So, you decided to have him on your own, 555 00:28:12,208 --> 00:28:15,128 raise him on your own. 556 00:28:15,628 --> 00:28:19,631 Must've taken a lot of courage. 557 00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:24,103 It was the easiest decision I ever made. 558 00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:28,607 Who'd you tell him his father was? 559 00:28:28,607 --> 00:28:32,610 A soldier who'd died in Vietnam. 560 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:36,550 I picked his name out of the newspaper, from a list of the dead. 561 00:28:39,550 --> 00:28:41,502 I even changed my own name. 562 00:28:41,985 --> 00:28:44,454 You went to a lot of trouble 563 00:28:44,454 --> 00:28:45,956 to make sure he'd never find out. 564 00:28:45,956 --> 00:28:48,458 I wanted him to have a hero. 565 00:28:48,942 --> 00:28:54,397 And I could never be that. 566 00:28:54,397 --> 00:28:57,867 It wasn't so much that you were gay, Danny. 567 00:28:58,367 --> 00:28:59,819 I always... 568 00:28:59,819 --> 00:29:05,674 Kind of suspected. In fact, that's probably why I liked you. 569 00:29:05,674 --> 00:29:08,177 It's that you lied to me. 570 00:29:09,177 --> 00:29:11,179 You weren't the only one. 571 00:29:11,179 --> 00:29:14,182 I lied to myself as well. 572 00:29:14,682 --> 00:29:17,652 I wanted to be something I wasn't. 573 00:29:17,652 --> 00:29:20,654 Well, you sure as hell succeeded. 574 00:29:21,155 --> 00:29:25,596 And he sure as hell didn't need to know that his dad was a drag queen. 575 00:29:25,609 --> 00:29:29,101 And now he's found your goddamn picture in the yearbook. 576 00:29:29,113 --> 00:29:34,550 And he's put two and two together. 577 00:29:34,550 --> 00:29:37,452 And knowing him, he's coming here to talk to you any minute. 578 00:29:37,463 --> 00:29:41,495 - Christ, what do I tell him? - Hell if I know. 579 00:29:41,507 --> 00:29:43,509 Well, I'm sure if you explained, that he'd understand. 580 00:29:43,509 --> 00:29:50,398 What, that I've lied to him his entire life? 581 00:29:50,398 --> 00:29:52,901 He'll never trust me again. 582 00:29:52,901 --> 00:29:56,792 And I wouldn't blame him. 583 00:30:01,792 --> 00:30:04,245 We were with her almost two and a half hours. 584 00:30:04,245 --> 00:30:06,747 She seemed really impressed. 585 00:30:06,747 --> 00:30:08,249 Well, that's a good sign, isn't it? 586 00:30:08,249 --> 00:30:10,372 I hope so. 587 00:30:16,873 --> 00:30:19,876 Christ, I hate these heels. 588 00:30:20,376 --> 00:30:22,379 Baby, come here. 589 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,802 That's nice. 590 00:30:29,802 --> 00:30:31,303 And Brian behaved himself? 591 00:30:31,303 --> 00:30:32,805 More than behaved. 592 00:30:33,304 --> 00:30:34,806 He was charming and attentive. 593 00:30:34,806 --> 00:30:37,742 I hope not too attentive. 594 00:30:37,742 --> 00:30:41,245 He complimented the school up the wazoo. 595 00:30:41,245 --> 00:30:44,248 Everything was perfect. 596 00:30:44,248 --> 00:30:46,633 So, why suddenly the long face? 597 00:30:46,633 --> 00:30:48,135 It should've been you and me in there. 598 00:30:50,137 --> 00:30:53,590 Whatever it takes. 599 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:56,092 - Besides, it was your idea. - I know. 600 00:30:56,092 --> 00:30:59,512 It seemed like a good one at the time, but... 601 00:30:59,512 --> 00:31:01,514 now, I don't know. 602 00:31:01,514 --> 00:31:05,000 Hey, don't worry about it. 603 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,986 Sometimes the ends actually do justify the means. 604 00:31:09,388 --> 00:31:10,855 Besides, the important thing is... 605 00:31:10,855 --> 00:31:12,857 is that Gus has the same chance as every other kid. 606 00:31:17,362 --> 00:31:19,364 - Yello? - May I speak with Mrs. Kinney? 607 00:31:19,364 --> 00:31:21,366 - Who? - Mrs. Kinney. 608 00:31:21,366 --> 00:31:22,866 Oh... yes, 609 00:31:23,367 --> 00:31:25,352 hang on. 610 00:31:25,352 --> 00:31:28,822 Mrs. Kinney. 611 00:31:28,822 --> 00:31:30,824 Hello? 612 00:31:30,824 --> 00:31:32,276 Ms. Harper. 613 00:31:32,776 --> 00:31:34,778 Yes, thank you. 614 00:31:34,778 --> 00:31:36,279 Oh, Mel and I... I mean... 615 00:31:36,279 --> 00:31:38,764 Brian and I felt the same way. 616 00:31:38,764 --> 00:31:41,267 We would be so pleased if Gus was enrolled in... 617 00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:44,704 What? 618 00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:50,208 Uh-huh. 619 00:31:50,208 --> 00:31:51,209 Uh-huh. 620 00:31:51,209 --> 00:31:54,179 "Uh-huh", what? 621 00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:56,681 I understand. 622 00:31:56,681 --> 00:31:58,183 Well, uh... 623 00:31:58,183 --> 00:32:02,186 thank you for calling. 624 00:32:03,187 --> 00:32:04,688 What? What'd she say? 625 00:32:04,688 --> 00:32:08,627 - He didn't get in. - What? 626 00:32:09,627 --> 00:32:11,111 He didn't get in. 627 00:32:11,111 --> 00:32:14,063 - Oh, God... - Ms. Harper called with her apologies. 628 00:32:14,063 --> 00:32:16,065 She thought my husband and I were absolutely charming 629 00:32:16,065 --> 00:32:18,067 and they would love to have Gus, but... 630 00:32:18,067 --> 00:32:19,953 So, what's the problem? 631 00:32:19,953 --> 00:32:21,454 They only had one spot open 632 00:32:21,955 --> 00:32:24,957 and they gave it to another child... 633 00:32:24,957 --> 00:32:28,377 with same-sex parents. 634 00:32:28,377 --> 00:32:31,748 Are you shitting me? 635 00:32:32,748 --> 00:32:34,249 The board decided 636 00:32:34,249 --> 00:32:36,752 that the student population had to be more diversified. 637 00:32:36,752 --> 00:32:38,252 Well, we're going to sue. 638 00:32:38,252 --> 00:32:39,754 This is discrimination. 639 00:32:39,754 --> 00:32:43,691 Against who? Heterosexuals? 640 00:32:50,046 --> 00:32:51,517 You think this is funny? 641 00:32:51,531 --> 00:32:54,517 I think it's hilarious! 642 00:32:54,517 --> 00:32:57,954 Oh, wait till Brian hears. 643 00:32:57,954 --> 00:33:00,390 What are we going to do now? 644 00:33:00,390 --> 00:33:02,891 I'm going to take a bath. 645 00:33:03,392 --> 00:33:04,893 And first thing tomorrow, 646 00:33:04,893 --> 00:33:08,330 we're going to look for another school. 647 00:33:08,330 --> 00:33:09,331 And this time, 648 00:33:09,832 --> 00:33:13,285 Gus' parents, Lindsay and Melanie, 649 00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:16,741 will go to the interview. 650 00:33:19,741 --> 00:33:22,176 Come on, rub my other foot. 651 00:33:22,176 --> 00:33:24,112 I'll rub your other foot, 652 00:33:24,112 --> 00:33:26,613 I'll tell you I'm going to rub. 653 00:33:26,613 --> 00:33:27,616 Oh! 654 00:33:56,141 --> 00:33:57,642 When I was in school, 655 00:33:57,642 --> 00:34:01,146 I had a part-time job walking people's dogs. 656 00:34:01,146 --> 00:34:03,148 Who knew you could make money wagging your tail? 657 00:34:15,059 --> 00:34:17,026 Some turnout, huh? 658 00:34:17,527 --> 00:34:19,479 - Congratulations, baby. - Thank you, 659 00:34:19,979 --> 00:34:22,982 but I owe it all to Michael for delivering Divina. 660 00:34:23,483 --> 00:34:24,484 There you go. Thanks. 661 00:34:24,984 --> 00:34:25,985 Oh, show's about to start. 662 00:34:28,987 --> 00:34:30,972 See ya. 663 00:34:31,473 --> 00:34:34,476 Aren't you going to stay? 664 00:34:34,476 --> 00:34:35,477 Hey, are you sticking around? 665 00:34:35,477 --> 00:34:36,978 I thought you were his number one fan. 666 00:34:37,462 --> 00:34:38,964 Just leave me alone. 667 00:34:38,964 --> 00:34:41,916 How can somebody put on an act like that all these years? 668 00:34:41,916 --> 00:34:43,384 I'd rather have a high colonic 669 00:34:43,384 --> 00:34:44,885 than hear some old queen do "Rose's turn". 670 00:34:44,885 --> 00:34:49,323 I mean my mother. 671 00:34:49,323 --> 00:34:50,324 You don't know for sure. 672 00:34:50,324 --> 00:34:52,259 That my mom lied to me? 673 00:34:52,259 --> 00:34:54,761 That my father's not a war hero, he's... 674 00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:57,714 Judy Garland? 675 00:34:57,714 --> 00:35:00,720 Would you prefer Bette Davis? 676 00:35:04,721 --> 00:35:06,221 Maybe I should just forget it. 677 00:35:06,221 --> 00:35:07,723 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 678 00:35:08,223 --> 00:35:10,692 ladies who are gentlemen, gentlemen who are ladies 679 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:13,645 and anyone else that management sincerely regrets having omitted, 680 00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:16,081 The Angel Ball welcomes its favourite angel, 681 00:35:16,081 --> 00:35:19,517 Pittsburgh's own miss Divina Devore. 682 00:35:32,462 --> 00:35:34,965 Look up there! 683 00:36:06,644 --> 00:36:08,629 Ooh, Pittsburgh. 684 00:36:26,896 --> 00:36:28,898 Michael. 685 00:36:28,898 --> 00:36:30,399 - May I come in? - Well, I... 686 00:36:30,900 --> 00:36:32,901 usually don't undress in front of men I barely know, 687 00:36:32,901 --> 00:36:36,404 but, in your case, I'll make an exception. 688 00:36:36,404 --> 00:36:39,407 How'd it go? Did "Angels over Pittsburgh" 689 00:36:39,407 --> 00:36:41,910 make buckets of bucks? 690 00:36:41,910 --> 00:36:43,411 Enough to bail them out for a while. 691 00:36:43,411 --> 00:36:44,411 It was great of you to help. 692 00:36:44,411 --> 00:36:47,813 - Well, it's the last benefit I'll ever do. - Somehow I doubt that. 693 00:36:47,898 --> 00:36:50,868 Well... 694 00:36:50,868 --> 00:36:52,870 you take care of yourself, Michael. 695 00:36:52,870 --> 00:36:54,371 It was nice to meet you. 696 00:36:54,872 --> 00:36:56,363 Actually, I have another favour. 697 00:36:56,373 --> 00:36:58,808 Oh, for... heaven's sake, 698 00:36:58,808 --> 00:37:01,311 haven't we done enough for humanity? 699 00:37:01,311 --> 00:37:05,315 Any more and... and I'll be irritable all week. 700 00:37:05,315 --> 00:37:06,816 It's not charity. 701 00:37:06,816 --> 00:37:09,785 Although you'd be helping me out a lot if you'd look at this. 702 00:37:10,285 --> 00:37:12,721 It's your old high school yearbook. 703 00:37:12,721 --> 00:37:18,710 And this is you. 704 00:37:18,710 --> 00:37:20,712 Oh, my God. 705 00:37:20,712 --> 00:37:23,214 I haven't seen that in 30... 706 00:37:23,214 --> 00:37:25,216 make that 18 years. 707 00:37:25,216 --> 00:37:27,151 Notice any resemblance? 708 00:37:27,635 --> 00:37:30,087 Yeah. It's unmistakable. 709 00:37:30,087 --> 00:37:33,574 I look exactly like Tom Cruise. 710 00:37:33,574 --> 00:37:35,992 I meant to me. 711 00:37:35,992 --> 00:37:37,496 You. 712 00:37:39,496 --> 00:37:41,498 Well, I appreciate the flattery, 713 00:37:41,498 --> 00:37:44,000 but frankly, no. I don't see it. 714 00:37:44,501 --> 00:37:46,002 How can you miss it? 715 00:37:46,002 --> 00:37:47,503 I mean, the way you looked back then, the way I look now. 716 00:37:47,503 --> 00:37:50,005 I mean, we're practically identical twins. 717 00:37:50,005 --> 00:37:51,941 Well, I suppose if you squint 718 00:37:52,441 --> 00:37:54,944 there's a slight resemblance. But so what? 719 00:37:54,944 --> 00:37:57,947 Here, help me with this zipper. 720 00:37:57,947 --> 00:37:59,447 I asked for a dresser, 721 00:37:59,948 --> 00:38:04,852 - and they're too goddamn cheap... - Are you my father? 722 00:38:04,852 --> 00:38:07,305 This is a fine time to ask. 723 00:38:07,805 --> 00:38:09,807 As you're helping me out of my gown. 724 00:38:09,807 --> 00:38:11,308 You were seeing my mother then. 725 00:38:11,308 --> 00:38:13,310 The timing is exactly right for you to have... 726 00:38:13,310 --> 00:38:14,745 Knocked her up? 727 00:38:15,245 --> 00:38:18,248 First, I would've had to have gotten it up. 728 00:38:18,248 --> 00:38:20,751 What, you mean, you and she never... 729 00:38:20,751 --> 00:38:22,753 Look at me. 730 00:38:22,753 --> 00:38:24,253 Do I look like the kind of guy 731 00:38:24,253 --> 00:38:28,174 who goes around banging babes? 732 00:38:28,174 --> 00:38:30,610 Your mother was hardly my type. 733 00:38:30,610 --> 00:38:32,612 But you said she was beautiful 734 00:38:32,612 --> 00:38:34,614 And that back then you used to bat for the other team. 735 00:38:35,114 --> 00:38:36,615 Drag queens are notorious liars, 736 00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:39,551 everyone knows that. 737 00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:42,053 So, what does your mother say? 738 00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:45,034 She says my father is this big war hero. 739 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,475 So, why don't you believe that? 740 00:38:48,475 --> 00:38:50,477 Because the story keeps changing, and the... 741 00:38:50,477 --> 00:38:53,981 there's only one picture, and the guy doesn't even look like me. 742 00:38:54,481 --> 00:38:56,483 Look, i'm not making any demands. 743 00:38:56,483 --> 00:38:58,485 I'm not even asking that we stay in touch, 744 00:38:58,485 --> 00:39:01,490 I just want to know the truth. 745 00:39:04,490 --> 00:39:06,993 Michael, may I... 746 00:39:06,993 --> 00:39:10,932 tell you the one truth I've learned in all my years? 747 00:39:13,432 --> 00:39:15,934 The truth... 748 00:39:15,934 --> 00:39:19,356 is what you choose to believe. 749 00:39:21,356 --> 00:39:22,357 When I'm on stage, 750 00:39:22,357 --> 00:39:27,311 people believe I'm Divina Devore. 751 00:39:27,311 --> 00:39:30,314 Not because I'm a great female impersonator, 752 00:39:30,314 --> 00:39:33,234 but because they want to. 753 00:39:33,234 --> 00:39:35,236 What does it have to do with whether you're my father, 754 00:39:35,236 --> 00:39:38,738 or if my mother lied to me? 755 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:40,740 Your mother... 756 00:39:40,740 --> 00:39:43,743 gave you something to believe in. 757 00:39:43,743 --> 00:39:45,245 A hero. 758 00:39:45,245 --> 00:39:47,747 A father you could be proud of. 759 00:39:48,248 --> 00:39:51,750 Because she loves you. 760 00:39:51,750 --> 00:39:54,753 That's the truth. 761 00:39:54,753 --> 00:39:59,258 Whether you choose to believe it or not... 762 00:39:59,258 --> 00:40:01,764 is up to you. 763 00:40:27,166 --> 00:40:28,167 Still here? 764 00:40:28,167 --> 00:40:31,070 So, how did I do? 765 00:40:31,070 --> 00:40:32,571 Not bad... 766 00:40:32,571 --> 00:40:35,493 for your first time. 767 00:40:37,493 --> 00:40:40,945 But, the tips suck. 768 00:40:40,945 --> 00:40:42,447 What were you expecting? 769 00:40:42,947 --> 00:40:45,950 More than I make working at the diner. 770 00:40:45,950 --> 00:40:48,887 Well, you need to dance on the bar. 771 00:40:48,887 --> 00:40:49,888 How do I do that? 772 00:40:50,355 --> 00:40:52,322 Look, you gotta work your way up. 773 00:40:52,322 --> 00:40:53,323 Maybe in six months. 774 00:40:53,824 --> 00:40:56,760 Six months? 775 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,913 I need money now to pay for school. 776 00:41:00,214 --> 00:41:03,671 That is a problem. 777 00:41:08,671 --> 00:41:12,091 Tell you what. 778 00:41:12,091 --> 00:41:16,400 You give me some time, I'll give you some time. 779 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,352 No, thanks. 780 00:41:24,352 --> 00:41:26,855 Up to you. Oh, but if you change your mind 781 00:41:26,855 --> 00:41:28,856 and decide you want to make, say... 782 00:41:28,856 --> 00:41:32,835 a couple of thou' a month, let me know. 783 00:42:49,781 --> 00:42:52,750 Still up? 784 00:42:53,251 --> 00:42:56,255 Yeah, I'm doing my homework. 785 00:42:58,755 --> 00:43:00,257 It's late. 786 00:43:00,257 --> 00:43:02,759 I had to talk to the boss. 787 00:43:05,762 --> 00:43:09,682 He said starting tomorrow I could dance on the bar. 788 00:43:09,682 --> 00:43:12,185 After only one night? 789 00:43:12,185 --> 00:43:16,570 I told you I can take care of myself. 790 00:43:31,570 --> 00:43:34,981 Yeah, I guess you can. 791 00:43:52,989 --> 00:43:55,942 Ma, what are you doing up so late? 792 00:43:56,442 --> 00:43:58,944 Um... couldn't sleep. 793 00:43:58,944 --> 00:44:00,896 What about you? 794 00:44:00,896 --> 00:44:03,832 Same. 795 00:44:03,832 --> 00:44:06,818 I came to return this. 796 00:44:07,319 --> 00:44:09,754 You can have it. 797 00:44:09,754 --> 00:44:11,756 What are you doing? 798 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,207 Just putting things away, 799 00:44:13,708 --> 00:44:15,209 making room. 800 00:44:15,710 --> 00:44:17,712 Something I should've done a long time ago. 801 00:44:17,712 --> 00:44:20,131 It's dad's shrine. 802 00:44:20,131 --> 00:44:21,582 Yeah, so? 803 00:44:21,582 --> 00:44:24,517 So, you can't just get rid of it. 804 00:44:24,517 --> 00:44:28,021 No need for it now. 805 00:44:28,021 --> 00:44:31,508 What are you talking about? 806 00:44:31,508 --> 00:44:34,896 There's no need to pretend, Michael. 807 00:44:36,896 --> 00:44:41,800 - The truth is... - Just like you said. 808 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,270 My father... 809 00:44:44,270 --> 00:44:48,239 is Lieutenant John Michael Novotny. 810 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:52,196 Died in Vietnam, April 10th, 1970. 811 00:44:55,196 --> 00:44:57,699 He was killed just two weeks after I was born, 812 00:44:57,699 --> 00:45:00,200 when the jeep he was driving ran over a land mine 813 00:45:00,217 --> 00:45:02,169 while he was carving a path through the jungle 814 00:45:02,179 --> 00:45:08,609 on a mission to save his troops. 815 00:45:08,609 --> 00:45:11,044 Right, ma? 816 00:45:12,044 --> 00:45:14,981 Right. 817 00:45:14,981 --> 00:45:18,985 For which he was posthumously awarded... 818 00:45:19,485 --> 00:45:28,410 the purple heart. 819 00:45:28,410 --> 00:45:32,364 And his last words were... 820 00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:35,367 "Tell my son 821 00:45:35,367 --> 00:45:37,868 I love him more... 822 00:45:38,168 --> 00:45:39,868 than life itself. 823 00:45:40,868 --> 00:45:43,868 And I'll always be proud of him."