1
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:10,360
On the buses, Programme 3, production
number 0755, recording date 2771, take

2
00:01:12,270 --> 00:01:13,270
Look at them.

3
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:17,530
Blimey. Good job they're getting married
tomorrow.

4
00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,290
They're planning their honeymoon.

5
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:24,070
Planning it? As long as it looks like
they're having it.

6
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,010
It's a brave bloke, you know, marrying
the Inspector's niece.

7
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:30,570
Yeah. Talk about the Express's niece.

8
00:01:30,930 --> 00:01:31,930
Here comes Hitler.

9
00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:37,770
I want a word with you about that. Oh,
I'm sure I want a word with you.

10
00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:40,710
Shut that up right away, I'll tell you.
Shut up.

11
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,700
I'm up to here as it is, I tell you.

12
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,920
I certainly made a mistake letting my
niece work in a bus depot.

13
00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:48,120
I wouldn't have known it would end in
disaster.

14
00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:49,818
What's the matter?

15
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,880
She's marrying a busman. That's what's
wrong, mate.

16
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:53,240
What's the matter with that?

17
00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:56,520
He's dim. All busmen are dim. And he's
about the dimmest one out of the lot of

18
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,500
them. Bill, he's not dim.

19
00:01:58,740 --> 00:01:59,740
He must be dim.

20
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:00,780
Look what he's done.

21
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,320
He's made you his best man.

22
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,480
You? Why you?

23
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:05,700
He must be mad.

24
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:09,280
Have you ever been a best man before,
have you?

25
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,550
No. Oh. Well, you'll find I make a mess
up of it, won't you?

26
00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:14,230
How can you do the job properly?

27
00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:18,710
Don't worry about me doing the job
properly, mate. You want to worry about

28
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:20,330
He's never been married before.

29
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:25,270
No, but let's face it, he's got one over
on you. I'll bet he's had a few

30
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,270
rehearsals.

31
00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:28,510
Oh,

32
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:30,410
right, send her down. We're only joking.

33
00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:33,670
I'll tell you what, Blake, you've got
nothing to worry about. 10 .30 tomorrow

34
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:35,830
morning, I'll have him at St Michael's
Church.

35
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:38,450
Yeah.

36
00:02:40,230 --> 00:02:42,050
I will do that, won't you, butler?

37
00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:43,350
Yes, I will.

38
00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:46,290
Yeah, yeah. Quick, they're getting
married at St. Father's this evening.

39
00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:52,170
I always get those two mixed up. You
watch it tomorrow morning, butler.

40
00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:54,830
I'm going to be at that church, you
know. I'm giving the bride away.

41
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,810
Yeah, you ought to be good at that,
Blackie. I mean, you've shopped enough

42
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:58,810
blokes in your time.

43
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:01,250
Go on, have a good laugh, go on.

44
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,030
You know your duties, don't you?

45
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:04,370
Duties? No.

46
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,280
I'm going to be the best man tomorrow,
getting married tomorrow morning.

47
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:14,120
You'd better study this list. You're
responsible for arranging for the

48
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:19,360
transportation for the guests, making
the speech, proposing the toast, reading

49
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,080
the telegrams, carrying the luggage and
organising the photos. You'd better

50
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,860
study that. For this lot? Yes.

51
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,640
I mean, no wonder the bridegroom has to
have the best man.

52
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:30,260
God, if you had to do this lot, it'd be
too tight to do anything else.

53
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:38,290
Isn't it exciting, Uncle? We won't be
seeing one another again till we meet at

54
00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:39,189
the church.

55
00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:42,750
Yeah. Hey, got me things for the night,
then. Ta -ra. Ta -ra.

56
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,590
What's he got his things for the night
for?

57
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:50,890
Well, he's coming home with me, isn't
he?

58
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,500
Me and Jack and a few of the other
drivers, we're taking him out on his

59
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:55,500
night bachelor party.

60
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,540
Oh. Yes, we're going down to the red
line, Victor.

61
00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:01,620
I promise you, Blakey, we'll have him
out of there before nine o 'clock,

62
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:04,600
Jack? Oh, yes, we'll have to be, because
at 9 .15 we're meeting the maintenance

63
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,220
lads at the three horseshoes. Oh, right.

64
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,180
No, no, no, Blakey, we'll only be there
half hour. Yeah, because at ten o 'clock

65
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,820
we're meeting the darts team down at the
green men.

66
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,720
You've got to be paranoid, haven't you?
Yeah.

67
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:15,980
Yeah.

68
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:19,769
You won't get him to the church
tomorrow, mate. You won't get him

69
00:04:19,769 --> 00:04:22,190
what happened? My poor niece would be
spending a wedding night in a row,

70
00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:26,750
wouldn't she? Oh, no, no, Blakey. I
mean, that's up to you, isn't it? Rule

71
00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:30,750
If the right man doesn't turn up, it's
up to you to provide a relief substitute

72
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:31,750
on the job.

73
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:40,300
I think Jack, even if he was the only
boy in the world, the state he's in, he

74
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:41,400
couldn't do nothing about it.

75
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,440
He is enjoying himself, isn't he? Yeah,
it's a good night though, isn't it?

76
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,880
Bill, son, here.

77
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:54,400
Is he all right, do you think? We'd
better sober him up a bit. Yeah, that's

78
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,640
That's what we've got to do. What are we
going to do then? Tell you what, a

79
00:05:58,640 --> 00:05:59,640
couple of raw eggs.

80
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:00,920
Raw eggs?

81
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,260
Eggs, raw eggs.

82
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,340
Have you ever seen a chicken walking
about sloshed?

83
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,240
Put it in something. Put it in
something. You're funny, Jack. That's

84
00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:30,900
That's funny. Put it in something.

85
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,520
Yeah, we'll put it in there. It's full
of milk. You can't put it in there.

86
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:36,180
This is good. This is good. Say what?

87
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,340
Put him in there. You might have saved
me a drop.

88
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:45,020
Go on, crack a leg in there. Oh, I'll
crack one in there.

89
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,100
What's the matter with you, Sloss?

90
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:53,740
It's too hard. There's nothing to do
with me, mate. It was one of them soft

91
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:54,740
shellings, wasn't it?

92
00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:59,170
I'll do it properly this time. Just
speak, you know. Gently.

93
00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:01,370
Gently does it. Crack it like that.

94
00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:07,890
And you go... Put it in the mouth.
That's no good. That's no good.

95
00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:10,630
I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah, I'll do
it. I'll do it.

96
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:17,530
I'll do it. All right. Kiss another one.
Kiss another one. All right.

97
00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:20,230
Jack, Jack, I'll tell you what, son.

98
00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:23,390
It's the quickness of your hand that
deceives the eye.

99
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,060
You see, you take the egg, nobody got my
sleeve, and you take...

100
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:34,240
That's good, that's good. That's a good
trick, isn't it? Oh, I know, yeah, I

101
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,740
know. No, no, properly, properly.

102
00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:39,960
Get them out of the way, chuck them out
of the way. Now, gently, gently does it.

103
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,920
Now, that's beautiful, isn't it? Now, I
never broke this out, this egg, did I?

104
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,460
Wait a minute, you've got a bit of shell
in there. That's nothing, that's

105
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:47,760
nothing. Get that out easy, Steve.

106
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:51,140
No, they're blunt.

107
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:59,170
Pull it up to the top, and as the bits
come past, I can get hold of them, see?

108
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:00,550
Right.

109
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:05,790
And I've got the shell out.

110
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:09,810
Well, now get it back in the glass.

111
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,890
Wait a minute, I've got a better idea.
What?

112
00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:14,710
Let's get him over here and make him
lick it up.

113
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:21,570
It's all funny when you've had a few,
you know, Jack. I haven't had any.

114
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:24,190
I'll get it. I'll put it back. Don't
worry.

115
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:27,050
Listen, I'll get one of them scrapers.

116
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:29,690
Have you got one?

117
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,590
Yeah, I've got this one.

118
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:34,610
Never mind, I'll get it out.

119
00:08:34,970 --> 00:08:36,309
I'll put that back later, see?

120
00:08:36,669 --> 00:08:38,570
Get it out. Hold it. Get it out.

121
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,250
Right.

122
00:08:43,929 --> 00:08:44,930
Put it out there.

123
00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:48,050
You see, Jack, this is what's called
giving me hand.

124
00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:53,270
If I put it... Yeah, put it inside.

125
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:54,690
OK.

126
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,670
Now, I'll put all this lot out.

127
00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:58,990
Keep it still. Don't move it.

128
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,310
Right.

129
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:04,390
What did you do that for?

130
00:09:06,090 --> 00:09:07,090
Jim,

131
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:12,270
I'm showing you a little consideration.

132
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,490
There are people trying to sleep in
here.

133
00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:16,930
Sorry, Art. Sorry, yeah. And what's
wrong with him?

134
00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:18,230
Well... What's wrong with...

135
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:39,980
Fuck, I'm trying to... It's good for the
feet. It's roaring.

136
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,160
Hey, yeah.

137
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,560
Well, get me a cloth. Get me something
to clean it off with. No, no. No, no,

138
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,560
Don't wipe it off.

139
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:51,380
Wipe. Then tomorrow morning, you can go
to work on an egg.

140
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:03,860
and you're angry.

141
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,760
Arthur, you shouldn't have come down
without your slippers.

142
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:11,840
I'm well aware of that.

143
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,780
Oh, what happened?

144
00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:15,540
They've been throwing eggs about.

145
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,280
No, we haven't, no.

146
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:21,840
See, oh, we were trying to make a sort
of hangover cure.

147
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,200
Did it work?

148
00:10:23,380 --> 00:10:24,560
Not when you're treading it.

149
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,200
Will you shut up?

150
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,100
You're supposed to be the best man. I
mean, look at him.

151
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,140
My groupie's supposed to be getting
married in the morning.

152
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,319
Oh, dear.

153
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,320
Will he be all right?

154
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:36,640
Of course he will.

155
00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:41,080
Of course he won't. You've filled him
full of drink, haven't you? No, I

156
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,080
at all, no.

157
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:47,940
I don't know why it's like that. Arthur,
listen, I gave him about half a dozen

158
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,520
scotches. Scotches? Yeah.

159
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:51,340
I was buying him gins.

160
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,800
I told him she's bright.

161
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:14,900
I'm not about drunk. He must have the
DTs.

162
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,240
Don't be so rude.

163
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,940
I'm going up to bed.

164
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,440
You know I look terrible in the morning
when I'm woken up in the middle of the

165
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,120
night. You look terrible every morning.

166
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,500
She must be woken up every night.

167
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,360
It must be more like a new offer than I
thought.

168
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,520
I think we can all do without your
offensive remarks, thank you.

169
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,040
On it.

170
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,180
Up to bed.

171
00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:49,360
Did it hurt?

172
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:55,040
Where do you get your drunken friend out
of here?

173
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,500
Watch this guy, mate.

174
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,400
No,

175
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:03,320
don't. He always turns a bit snotty when
he... Come on, let's get him in the

176
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,180
front room. I'll give you a hand. Put
him on the couch. Come on, then.

177
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:09,949
Go on, boy.

178
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:12,010
You're all right now. We got you.

179
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:13,290
Oh.

180
00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:15,930
Just a minute, Jack. What's the matter?

181
00:12:16,210 --> 00:12:17,550
Oh, I've gone giddy now.

182
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:22,010
Do you think you're going to be able to
get him to the church in the morning?

183
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:24,770
The way I feel, I'll be lucky if I get
him in the parlour tonight.

184
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,500
Here.

185
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,540
How long's your friend Bill going to be?

186
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,760
I don't know. He's in the bathroom
getting ready, isn't he?

187
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,460
Well, look at the time. We're going to
be late for the wedding.

188
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:02,700
You're with Arthur.

189
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,380
Arthur!

190
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,500
Oh,

191
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:10,160
brother, I've got a rotten edge, you
know. Take it, E .T.

192
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:20,900
a nice bit of breakfast, streaky bacon,
sausages and a nice lump of fried bread.

193
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,740
Take it away, Mum, please.

194
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,100
Oh, but love, I cooked it special.

195
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:32,600
I'll have it.

196
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,020
How long's that friend of yours going to
be in that bathroom?

197
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,300
He's been in there over half an hour
already.

198
00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:41,720
He's getting married today, you know.
He's entitled to have a bath and cut his

199
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,720
toenails, isn't he?

200
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,740
Well, you can't tell him.

201
00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:47,770
A man must have a good soak on his
wedding day.

202
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:52,750
I remember your dad came straight from
the public bath to the altar.

203
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:58,850
Whenever I smell carbolic soap, it
always reminds me of my wedding night.

204
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,670
Well, I mustn't get sentimental.

205
00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:06,310
Oh, Mum, as it's Bill's wedding day, do
you think he'd like to borrow my talcum

206
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,990
powder? Oh, no!

207
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:09,750
Why not?

208
00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:11,490
Arthur did on our wedding day.

209
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,850
Why don't you think what?

210
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:23,270
sexy beast.

211
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:27,170
I'm always put on talcum every night.

212
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:30,390
It's what I need to. Don't I have to
kill the smell of your chuglay night?

213
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:36,230
Well, you can be rude. I wasn't being
nice. You shut up!

214
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,430
Gordon, if Billy is you two, I'll never
get him to the church.

215
00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:42,090
I know he's a blushing, bright groom
this morning.

216
00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:44,430
Are we going to actually see him at the
ceremony?

217
00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:46,850
Or is he still in a state of
intoxication?

218
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:50,230
He'd be all right when he's had a bath
and had a bit of breakfast. I'll get

219
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:51,250
don't worry.

220
00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:54,790
Oh, I've made his breakfast. It's all
spoiling. I think I'd better give him a

221
00:14:54,790 --> 00:15:01,730
call. I think

222
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:02,730
I heard him coming.

223
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,710
I'm over here, Bill, son.

224
00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:17,830
I don't think I... I don't think I'm
going to pass by.

225
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:30,490
Yeah, make me one as well while you're
there, will you?

226
00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:32,470
I thought you said he was all right.

227
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:33,890
He's incapable.

228
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:38,470
It's your father's done it most
probably. It does make people dizzy. Oh,

229
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,970
worry, love. All you've got to do is get
into the church.

230
00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:42,430
Have you got the ring?

231
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,350
He's bound to have forgotten that.

232
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,510
Oh, no, I haven't, clever dick.

233
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:49,790
I put it on my little finger last night
so I wouldn't forget it.

234
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:55,230
The clever boy. Now, all you've got to
do is... Make your speech and see them

235
00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:57,770
off. Oh, God, that's it. I've forgotten
it. Speech, speech.

236
00:15:58,010 --> 00:16:00,310
I haven't even rehearsed it. Oh, no.

237
00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:02,570
Well, I don't know. Here.

238
00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:06,530
I wonder if it sounds all right. Mum,
listen to this. Listen to this.

239
00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:08,750
Arthur, stop stuffing your face. Listen.

240
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:10,810
See what you think of it. Right. And
Bill.

241
00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:16,490
Ladies and gentlemen.

242
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:17,910
That's nice.

243
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:20,910
I'm starting, Jack.

244
00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:22,650
Ladies and gentlemen.

245
00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:29,150
Before I propose to help of the lucky
couple, as Bill's friend and best man, I

246
00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:34,650
must say how lucky Sally is to have
found herself such a fine, upstanding...

247
00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:41,630
As you see, they are a very

248
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:42,670
well -matched couple.

249
00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:44,830
Why, is the bride going to be plastered
and all?

250
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:48,810
Will you belt up?

251
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:52,330
And I'm sure...

252
00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:58,280
All the girls here are envying Sally and
wondering how she managed to meet Bill.

253
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,280
Probably tripped over him in the gutter.

254
00:17:01,260 --> 00:17:06,619
No, no, no, that's not very nice. Now,
go on, love, come on.

255
00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:08,780
Shut up, you.

256
00:17:10,579 --> 00:17:16,400
I know, I know, you will want to join me
in wishing them many, many years of

257
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,400
happiness.

258
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:22,280
And good luck in the long, uncertain
journey that lies ahead of them. No.

259
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:25,220
They're going to use one of your buses,
aren't they?

260
00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:34,320
Don't speak to me like that. You must
wish them good health.

261
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:38,500
Well, it doesn't do any good. They
wished Arthur and me good health on our

262
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,600
wedding day. And then he had to have his
operation.

263
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,880
I don't know why you have to keep
bringing that up.

264
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,040
It was months before you were right. The
hospital was full up. I was kept

265
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,040
waiting eight months.

266
00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:53,520
You weren't the only one.

267
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,280
I'm going to stay easy and these brides
are going to be waiting eight months at

268
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,400
all. Oh, Stan, look at the time.

269
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,140
We'll be late to the wedding. Here, get
him up. Come on.

270
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:33,670
I've been waiting outside there in the
front of the church with my niece like

271
00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:36,010
idiot. Because she thought she'd been
jilted.

272
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:37,230
Come on.

273
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,440
Where's the bridegroom?

274
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,180
You've left him behind, haven't you?

275
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:47,660
Oh, my, don't you forget something.

276
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:55,640
What have you done to him?

277
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:59,620
I knew I should never have allowed you
to be the best man.

278
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,060
What's the matter with me? It's all
right.

279
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,280
All right? Look at the style of him,
look.

280
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:06,600
I can't allow my niece to be led down
the aisle to him looking like that. What

281
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,600
does he look like?

282
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,520
Well, compared to this morning, he's a
great improvement.

283
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,500
I beg your pardon.

284
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,960
Oh, no.

285
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,900
Forgive me, Reverend. I didn't realise
you were standing behind me there.

286
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:19,840
Obviously. Well, has the bridegroom
arrived?

287
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,240
Yes, he's here, Bill.

288
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,500
He can pick us here.

289
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,140
I see.

290
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:30,680
Well, we can't wait any longer. I've got
another wedding in half an hour.

291
00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:32,160
Well, we're not all that late.

292
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,650
Late? Late.

293
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,110
The organist has played your music three
times.

294
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:38,630
Now, will you all come this way, please?
Right, thanks.

295
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,030
Are you the best man?

296
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:41,969
Yeah, why?

297
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:44,950
Well, please, have the ring ready. Oh,
yes. Now, come along, everyone.

298
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,310
The ring.

299
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:48,970
You've lost it, haven't you?

300
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:52,870
No, I haven't lost it. I put it on my
little finger last night so I wouldn't

301
00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:53,469
forget it.

302
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:56,330
Well, thank God that you managed to do
one thing properly then. Now, come on,

303
00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:59,070
let's get out and round the fight then.
Right, we can all go now. Yeah, come on.

304
00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:00,170
No, we can't. Sit down.

305
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:02,590
What's the matter?

306
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:03,940
Well, I can't get it off.

307
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:06,300
It's funny.

308
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,540
It went on easier than up last night,
Arthur.

309
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:13,120
It is a well -known fact that one's
joints swell up in the morning,

310
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,100
after excessive drinking.

311
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,540
Oh, shut up. It keeps digging into me.
Well, come on, hurry up. The vicar's

312
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:20,340
waiting out there. I know he is, but
he's stuck in it.

313
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:22,440
Oh, my God, that's all I need.

314
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,830
He needs his wedding called off just
because your little finger gets swollen

315
00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:29,710
Come here, let me have a go.

316
00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:30,989
Be careful.

317
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:31,990
Be careful.

318
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:33,010
Be careful.

319
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:37,250
Put the finger off. It's good, mate. At
least I'll get the ring off.

320
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:39,510
It needs lubricating.

321
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:40,830
Lick it.

322
00:20:40,870 --> 00:20:43,130
I'm not licking his finger. Not you, you
bastard.

323
00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:48,710
Oh, look what you've done. You've made
it swell up even more now. Are you

324
00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:50,810
or aren't you? Yes, we're coming,
Victor. Yes, we're coming.

325
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:53,050
Come on, do something, butler.

326
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:55,270
Please, don't get married without a
wedding ring.

327
00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:58,370
I'll never forgive you for this. I
won't, honestly. I won't.

328
00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,750
Yes, yes, yes.

329
00:20:59,870 --> 00:21:02,770
Yes, yes. I've got it. I've got it. I've
got it, Blakeney. Mum, Mum, let me show

330
00:21:02,770 --> 00:21:06,850
us. Oh, here. I can't. I haven't had my
wedding ring on for 25 years.

331
00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:10,790
Here, but Ollie can get hers off. Yeah,
that'll do. That'll do. Oh, I don't

332
00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:11,709
know. Come on.

333
00:21:11,710 --> 00:21:14,250
Give me half of it. Give me a big half
of it.

334
00:21:14,510 --> 00:21:15,590
Oh, come on.

335
00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:18,710
It's you going in. Come on. Come on,
Phil. I'm all right. He's feeling better

336
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,810
now. He's all right. He's feeling better
now. Oh, and it's sweet. Your ring.

337
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:26,150
Oh, I hope it does as much for his
wedding as it's done for you and Arthur.

338
00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:55,480
for the blessing and he couldn't get up.

339
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,120
Fresh air inside him.

340
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,200
That's it. Lovely, thank you. Right
then.

341
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:05,420
Everybody blacken the red line for the
reception.

342
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,640
Go on.

343
00:22:39,630 --> 00:22:41,570
Better get the bus stuff fresh at the
wedding.

344
00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:43,950
Yeah, yeah, it's good, isn't it? He laid
it on for his niece.

345
00:22:44,470 --> 00:22:45,470
Come on, get on, then.

346
00:22:46,010 --> 00:22:52,710
Come on, then, Bucks. Don't get the bus
away. It's Charles 1243. Look at that,

347
00:22:52,710 --> 00:22:55,090
look. Well, he got married after all,
didn't he, Blakey?

348
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:56,910
Yes, yes, he got married, yeah.

349
00:22:57,770 --> 00:23:00,930
Here, what about that ring? My Sally
will want that, you know.

350
00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:02,510
Oh, yeah.

351
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,990
Here, the swelling's going down, I do
believe.

352
00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:07,490
With a bit of spit, this shall come off,
Blakey.

353
00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:11,440
They are not. It's moving.

354
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:12,960
Oh!

355
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,180
Oh, you've got it all. You've got it
all.

356
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,400
Ah, well done, mate.

357
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:43,020
We'd drop you off at the hospital.

358
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:46,720
What will I do? What will I do?

359
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:49,260
Don't worry, boy. They'll get it out for
you.

