1
00:00:00,086 --> 00:00:03,326
Is Harrison your real name?
Every word is a lie.

2
00:00:03,328 --> 00:00:08,156
He wasn't nasty.
He'd stolen a square meal.

3
00:00:08,158 --> 00:00:11,128
ELLIE: A Banksy is worth millions.

4
00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:13,307
I get to interview Judith Tyzack.

5
00:00:13,309 --> 00:00:15,688
I didn't realise that you were gay.

6
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:18,008
<font color="
You thought that I'm...?

7
00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:19,208
No!

8
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:20,888
Ted! How are we all?

9
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,528
We love him! We could put them up

10
00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:24,808
for a couple of
nights, couldn't we?

11
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:26,328
I do think he is losing it a bit.

12
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,768
<font color="

13
00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:29,090
Ted!

14
00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:23,808
ALAN: Ooh, asparagus!
Pushing the boat out.

15
00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:25,688
Thank you.

16
00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:28,370
It's very nice with, um,
poached egg.

17
00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:33,568
And a bit of cod. Someone's in
for a treat at teatime.

18
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:37,048
Have you tried asparagus
<font color="

19
00:01:37,050 --> 00:01:39,968
and a bit of Parmesan? No.
We had it in Cornwall. Cornwall!

20
00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:41,528
And we had it with a glass of
champagne.

21
00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:43,328
HE CHORTLES

22
00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:45,928
You all right, Alan? Oh...!

23
00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:48,848
<font color="
You got t'job, then?

24
00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:50,768
You owe me an explanation.

25
00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:52,048
And an apology.

26
00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:54,208
Nice to see you again.
Settling in all right?

27
00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:57,088
Are you collecting your vouchers,
love? Oh, yeah, thanks.

28
00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:58,448
<font color="
bagging up there, missis?

29
00:01:58,450 --> 00:02:00,490
No! Get your mucky hands off.

30
00:02:01,650 --> 00:02:02,848
Do you know him?

31
00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:06,328
No, not... Look, if David cops you,
there'll be bother.

32
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,728
Yeah, but I ain't nicked owt.

33
00:02:07,730 --> 00:02:09,410
I don't do that sort of thing any
more.

34
00:02:10,450 --> 00:02:13,370
<font color="
Want to be careful.

35
00:02:14,610 --> 00:02:17,528
What time does your shift
finish, Alan? Who wants to know?

36
00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:18,808
I thought we could get
hot chocolate together.

37
00:02:18,810 --> 00:02:21,248
Upstairs in t'cafe. With whipped
cream and sprinkles.

38
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,488
<font color="

39
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:23,928
Why aren't you at school?

40
00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:25,568
Oh, that's a waste of time.

41
00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:26,928
I know it all already.

42
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:29,128
Oh, is that it?
I just upset all the other kids.

43
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:32,730
I make 'em feel, you know...

44
00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:35,488
..inadequate.

45
00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,288
There you go, love. Thank you.
<font color="

46
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,688
Take care.

47
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:39,730
Mind how you go.

48
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,810
Do you like little boys, Alan?

49
00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:58,530
You're targeting the wrong
person, Harrison.

50
00:02:59,650 --> 00:03:01,050
Can you lend me 50 pence?

51
00:03:02,570 --> 00:03:06,328
Well...I can give you 50 pence.

52
00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:10,490
Make it a fiver and I'll make
<font color="

53
00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:17,088
I can only repeat, you're targeting
the wrong fella, Harrison.

54
00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:19,048
I've been on this planet 82 years,

55
00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:21,168
and if there's one thing I've
learnt,

56
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,248
it's to not pander to bullies,

57
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:27,450
who, usually,
<font color="

58
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,048
CHECKOUT BEEPS
What you doing? I was only joking.

59
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,970
I'm short of pound coins.

60
00:03:35,050 --> 00:03:37,370
Thought you were getting me
chucked out.

61
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:43,088
David told me that, er,
you live at a foster home

62
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:46,248
<font color="
a temporary arrangement

63
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:50,328
while me dad gets back from Los
Angeles. I thought he was in Dubai.

64
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,770
He gets all over.

65
00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:56,488
He said you run away
and live in folks' sheds.

66
00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:57,490
Do you?

67
00:03:58,490 --> 00:03:59,568
<font color="

68
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,488
Why aren't you at school?

69
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,208
A bright lad like you.

70
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,888
I don't fit in.
I don't believe that.

71
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:08,968
I get picked on, and they never know
what to do with me.

72
00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:11,328
And they never know me name, cos
I'm not there often.

73
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:14,010
<font color="
I concentrated...

74
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,010
..apparently, but...

75
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,248
All right, Alan?

76
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:24,208
Oh, yeah, I'm short of pound coins.

77
00:04:24,210 --> 00:04:26,728
You can get off on your break,
actually, if you like.

78
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:29,968
Ooh, smashing. Can you remember how
<font color="

79
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,168
Er, yeah... Oh, I think so.

80
00:04:33,170 --> 00:04:35,848
That's it. Am I having that
50 pence or what?

81
00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:37,688
No, not right now you're not.

82
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:40,048
We're not allowed cash on us,
not on t'shop floor.

83
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,968
Why? Don't they trust you?
<font color="

84
00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:44,250
No! No, not really.

85
00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:47,728
What about that hot
chocolate, then?

86
00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:50,608
I've got a phone call to make.

87
00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:53,810
I'll go upstairs
and wait for you, Alan.

88
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,368
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

89
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:16,688
No, no, it will be there.
<font color="

90
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:19,090
No.
Here we go, lads.

91
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:21,488
Two with sugar, one without.

92
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,168
And some biscuits.

93
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:26,848
Oh, thanks, Mrs Buttershaw. I like
to keep the workers happy.

94
00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:29,528
I can guarantee it will be
tomorrow.

95
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,530
<font color="
collect a payment? Yeah.

96
00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:40,290
Just checking you've not
wandered off again.

97
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:45,368
I shall wander off again
if you don't stop mithering me.

98
00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:47,248
Well, if you do, can you leave
a note?

99
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:49,168
So we're not ringing the police.

100
00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:51,488
<font color="
can't go for a walk

101
00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:53,408
without folks calling the filth.

102
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,728
It was bucketing down!
Not when I set off.

103
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,808
When I set off, it was very fair.

104
00:05:57,810 --> 00:05:59,930
Mm, so you say.

105
00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:03,888
At five o'clock in the morning!
Best time of the day.

106
00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:06,328
<font color="
going back over this again?

107
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:06,328
PHONE RINGS

108
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:09,008
Oh.

109
00:06:09,010 --> 00:06:10,930
Oh! Now what?

110
00:06:11,970 --> 00:06:13,048
Hello!

111
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:16,288
How's it going? Well, they've made a
right mess.

112
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:19,408
And Martin doesn't do anything,
<font color="

113
00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:22,088
all day. The other two are
very polite.

114
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,728
Still, they've got to rip the old
kitchen out

115
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,608
before they put the new one in.

116
00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:29,768
I'm just sitting here
twiddling my thumbs.

117
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:31,088
Aren't we, Ted?

118
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,048
<font color="

119
00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:35,168
Can you do summat for me?

120
00:06:35,170 --> 00:06:38,488
Can you nip down here on a bus

121
00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:41,608
and take the Lexus back
home with you?

122
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,128
A bus? Yeah.

123
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,288
There'll be one at quarter to,
just opposite the gate.

124
00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:49,328
<font color="
Well, why?

125
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:52,648
Oh...this little kiddie.

126
00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,488
Asking me for money.

127
00:06:54,490 --> 00:06:56,368
I'm sure he wouldn't really...

128
00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:57,968
A little kiddie? Well, yeah.

129
00:06:57,970 --> 00:07:00,528
He wouldn't do anything.
I just don't want

130
00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:05,528
<font color="
upset if it got scratched.

131
00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:07,448
What, you mean protection money?

132
00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:10,688
Well, yeah, but...
The little sod.

133
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,810
Er, yeah... Well, ring the police.

134
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,368
Oh, well, they never turn up,
apparently.

135
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:22,810
<font color="
start working in supermarkets.

136
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,288
Is Ted all right?

137
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:27,648
Yeah, he's fine. He's here.

138
00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:29,928
Well, bring him down with
you on the bus.

139
00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,408
We don't want him
wandering off again.

140
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:34,808
<font color="
to Sowerby Bridge, Ted?

141
00:07:34,810 --> 00:07:36,490
Oh, I like a bus ride.

142
00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:44,810
PUPILS AND TEACHER CHATTER

143
00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,688
Caroline!

144
00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:56,528
Judith Tyzack's PA's just
texted to say they've set off,

145
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:59,368
so they should be here in
40 minutes.

146
00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:01,048
<font color="
So exciting!

147
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:03,048
Everyone's absolutely buzzing!

148
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,168
That's good. Good.

149
00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:06,530
I know I am.

150
00:08:08,970 --> 00:08:10,770
Helen? Yeah.

151
00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:15,488
Just out of interest... Yeah.

152
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:16,490
..did you, erm...

153
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:21,688
<font color="

154
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,528
I think I did.

155
00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:25,808
Yeah. It's not a conversation
we've ever had, but, er...

156
00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:28,008
Well, but, is…

157
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:31,048
Now you've said it. Mmm.

158
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:34,528
See, I thought everyone knew.
I've never hidden it, have I?

159
00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:38,088
I mean, I've never made a
<font color="
I'm... Cos I'm not...

160
00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:41,408
Well, just cos I'm not with
anyone at the moment. But
I've never hidden it.

161
00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:43,488
My cousin's gay.
Him and his boyfr...

162
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,888
Well, he would be, wouldn't he?
His boyfriend.

163
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:50,490
<font color="
to someone the other day.

164
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,008
And this someone was really
shocked,

165
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:56,768
in a bad way, and
it's shaken me, because...

166
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,088
Well, I thought people just weren't

167
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:01,568
funny about things like that
any more,

168
00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:04,450
<font color="
that people knew anyway.

169
00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,088
Anyway, thank you.

170
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,528
I'll catch you later.

171
00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:12,330
Do you want me to tell people?

172
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:17,208
Er, yeah. No. Yeah, whatever.

173
00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:19,208
If it arises, sure. Not that it...

174
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,688
Well, why, would it?
But, yeah. If... Yeah.

175
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:22,928
<font color="

176
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,410
Perfect. Thank you.

177
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:26,768
Oh, hi, Ruth!

178
00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:29,728
Gosh, you must be excited! Good
luck!

179
00:09:29,730 --> 00:09:31,210
Thanks.

180
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,408
I don't think I should do this.

181
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,328
Why? Why not? What do you mean?

182
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,608
I should've said it sooner,

183
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:47,410
<font color="
but... Yeah, it's...

184
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,448
These are the questions that I
compiled, if they're any help.

185
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:54,848
Probably best if you do it.

186
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,728
Why? "Why?"

187
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,848
Well, you know her work.
You love her work.

188
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:01,288
<font color="
Why is it better if I do it?

189
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,128
No, that's not why you asked
me. No, it is.

190
00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:05,328
No, you asked me
so that I'd be grateful to you.

191
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:06,808
Wow.

192
00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,208
Be honest.

193
00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:09,728
<font color="

194
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,330
a handy excuse to invite me round to
your house. Oh, for fuck's...

195
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:16,048
I asked you because you know her
work better,

196
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,048
a lot better, than I do.

197
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,448
I asked you because
<font color="

198
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:23,488
and because I thought you'd be
thrilled by the idea, and you were!

199
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,368
And I asked you because...
You asked me because

200
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:28,890
you had ulterior motives.

201
00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:33,448
God, you even called your
dog after me!

202
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:35,448
<font color="

203
00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:37,048
And that's why I'm not doing it.

204
00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:38,970
Because you made me feel cheap.

205
00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:42,168
So thanks, but...

206
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:43,730
..I'm better than that.

207
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:49,288
And you know that I am such a big
fan of hers,

208
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:53,010
of her work. This could
<font color="

209
00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:08,610
Don't make me run after you.

210
00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:13,528
I can't do this,
not at this late stage.

211
00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:15,168
I don't know enough!

212
00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:18,408
It's not fair on the students,
and it's not fair on Judith.

213
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:21,248
I was so happy,
I was so touched

214
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,648
<font color="
for dinner.

215
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,850
I thought you were being a
friend.

216
00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:29,608
And God knows
I could do with one right now.

217
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:33,288
I've had such a shit time lately
with that bastard,

218
00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:35,568
and I thought you were being kind

219
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:39,648
<font color="
boss. I-I-I was.

220
00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,848
I am. I am a good...
No! You weren't.

221
00:11:41,850 --> 00:11:44,328
You just wanted to...hit on me,

222
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,648
like all the other creeps

223
00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:49,648
when they can see that you're
not in a good place.

224
00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:53,090
<font color="
er... And even apart from that...

225
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:58,250
..you're 50-odd. I'm 38.

226
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:02,210
Look at yourself.

227
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,208
Is that water?

228
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,690
Or vodka?

229
00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:30,370
Don't be pathetic.

230
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:38,970
You're not going
to make a fool of y...

231
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,528
<font color="
make a fool of yourself,

232
00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:44,208
but don't humiliate Caroline.

233
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:44,208
SHE SCOFFS

234
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,850
Not in front of her students.

235
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:50,888
I'm doing Caroline a huge favour

236
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,248
just by turning up, so don't
tell me how to behave.

237
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,448
It's water, all right?

238
00:12:56,450 --> 00:13:00,208
<font color="
why don't we just accept that?

239
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:01,768
All right?

240
00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:03,530
It's water.

241
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:18,688
We ought to get a little
present while we're here,

242
00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:20,848
for that fella and his dog.

243
00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:22,168
What fella?

244
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:25,928
The fella that found you
<font color="

245
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,648
and rang the police.
I wasn't wandering about!

246
00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:31,168
I just wanted to see Ladstone
Rock. I told you.

247
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:33,248
It's a wonder you're not
riddled with pneumonia.

248
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,968
What a bloody lot of fuss
about nowt.

249
00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:38,248
<font color="
and got himself

250
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:42,290
that little job, if you go on at
him the way you go on at me.

251
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,648
We used to walk up to
Ladstone Rock.

252
00:13:51,650 --> 00:13:53,288
Me and Alice.

253
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,328
Did you? From Elland.

254
00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:57,008
<font color="

255
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,488
On a Sunday.

256
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:00,130
She liked it up there.

257
00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:02,728
We both did.

258
00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:05,328
Alan told me you'd brought
her ashes back with you.

259
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:05,328
Yeah.

260
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,728
HE MUMBLES

261
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:08,770
Yeah.

262
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,408
We're going to have to talk
<font color="

263
00:14:12,410 --> 00:14:14,368
about where you're going to live.

264
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:16,048
If you are stopping.

265
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:18,370
I thought I was stopping with you.

266
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,648
Did Alan not tell you?
CHERYL: Hello-hello-hello!

267
00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:24,048
We meet again. Hiya!

268
00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:26,448
I thought that were you,
<font color="

269
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,088
LOUDLY: Have you recovered?

270
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:28,088
HE SIGHS

271
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:30,968
Mrs Buttershaw.

272
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,408
What are you doing here? Well,
we came to collect the car.

273
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,648
We're waiting for Alan.
Apparently, some little kid

274
00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:39,288
<font color="
doesn't give him some money.

275
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,008
I said, "This is what happens

276
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,488
"when folk start working in
supermarkets."

277
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,888
Yeah, have you seen him?

278
00:14:44,890 --> 00:14:46,368
Well, someone said they'd
seen him up here.

279
00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:49,768
No, I don't think so.
<font color="

280
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:53,768
Oh, er, he's a bit of
character...is Harrison.

281
00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:56,128
I'll cop him. He won't damage
your car, he's all mouth.

282
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:59,168
Do you want a cup of tea, or...?
Not when I'm on duty.

283
00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:00,568
Go on, then.

284
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:03,728
I was, er, saying to Ellie,
<font color="

285
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:06,008
she wants to get off home
on maternity leave.

286
00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:07,968
Can you get us two teas,
Jamie? Yeah, sure.

287
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:09,088
Ah! Here he is.

288
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:11,168
Hey. Car keys!

289
00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:12,370
There you go.

290
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:17,688
Oh, hello.
<font color="

291
00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:20,168
Well, how was the bus?

292
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,768
Not unpleasant.

293
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:24,808
Except it went round about
the houses and kept stopping.

294
00:15:24,810 --> 00:15:26,530
Well, they do.

295
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,448
Ted's been telling me that you've
said he can stop with us.

296
00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:32,408
<font color="

297
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:36,008
I've said that is a conversation we
need to have.

298
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,728
Right.

299
00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:40,568
Eh, what's all this
about this Banksy

300
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,568
that's appeared on Slack
Alice's barn?

301
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:45,168
Sorry?
<font color="

302
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,728
I mean, it's very good, but I think
he'd have claimed it by now

303
00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:49,768
if it were a real one.

304
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:52,528
You don't know.
It's been five days.

305
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,368
It's very good. All this to draw
attention to herself,

306
00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:57,448
<font color="

307
00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,608
It could be worth a lot
of money.

308
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:02,010
You'd think she'd know better.

309
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:13,170
HELICOPTER OVERHEAD

310
00:16:22,610 --> 00:16:23,888
Fuck off!

311
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:25,888
ALL: What?

312
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:28,888
You! Sorry, love.

313
00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:30,810
Twats.

314
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:35,010
<font color="

315
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:37,528
Morons.

316
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,050
Morning.

317
00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:41,528
Afternoon.

318
00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,168
Have you seen Angus?

319
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,368
He's gone.

320
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,008
They've gone.

321
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:49,368
Gone? Both of them?
Yeah, yeah, they left. Drove off.

322
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:52,328
<font color="

323
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:54,968
Alyssa said she wanted to
see something in York.

324
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,488
And I think Angus was
just off home

325
00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:58,168
when he'd dropped her off
at the station.

326
00:16:58,170 --> 00:16:59,888
Bitch! I know!

327
00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:01,968
<font color="

328
00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:04,850
Not wanting to listen
to other folk shagging...

329
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:07,130
..all night.

330
00:17:08,450 --> 00:17:10,888
They were knocking on t'door
at three o'clock this morning.

331
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:12,650
They didn't need to,
cos I never lock up.

332
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,568
<font color="

333
00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:20,770
Sorry, love!

334
00:17:21,850 --> 00:17:23,130
Tossers.

335
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:42,170
KNOCKING

336
00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:45,888
Can I make some tea for me
and Mia?

337
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,808
What's mine is yours, I've told
you. You help yourself.

338
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:51,130
I wish that helicopter'd fuck off.

339
00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:56,048
<font color="
Yeah.

340
00:17:56,050 --> 00:17:58,168
Yeah, I e-mailed 'em a picture.

341
00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:00,128
And?

342
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:01,488
SHE SIGHS

343
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:04,048
They'll be in touch if it turns out
to be real.

344
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:08,168
"Don't hold your breath," I think,
was their parting sentiment.

345
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,170
<font color="

346
00:18:14,530 --> 00:18:16,530
SHE SIGHS

347
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:20,648
Everything all right?
Hmm. Bank kindly offering

348
00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:23,368
to extend my loan,
so I can get the roof fixed,

349
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,888
and in return they'll cripple me

350
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:29,328
slowly with increased monthly
repayments.

351
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,128
<font color="
may, just may, be worth

352
00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:35,410
a million quid, except it probably
isn't. Isn't life full of....

353
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,690
..shit little ironies?

354
00:18:40,610 --> 00:18:42,728
Here's a career tip for you.

355
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,088
What?
Sheep farming.

356
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,530
Just...

357
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,408
<font color="

358
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:50,408
SHEEP BLEED

359
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,808
Don't.

360
00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:53,210
OK.

361
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,368
SHEEP BLEED

362
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,648
You couldn't drive me...?
I was doing all right, you know.

363
00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,728
For once in my life.

364
00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:03,170
Then this.

365
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:09,010
Can I do anything? Like what?
<font color="

366
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:19,930
You couldn't give us a lift over
to my mum's house, could you?

367
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:26,048
Just stick to those five main
characters, all right?

368
00:19:26,050 --> 00:19:28,488
Ruth Ben Reuben,
Robin - of Loxley, obviously -

369
00:19:28,490 --> 00:19:31,368
er, then there's Malbisse - he's
<font color="

370
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,248
Ket the Trow -
he's one of the Little People.

371
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,448
And Will Scarlett.
Stick to those five,

372
00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:36,848
you can't go wrong.

373
00:19:36,850 --> 00:19:39,608
Ask her about language.
She loves language.

374
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:43,288
Metaphors, similes,
<font color="

375
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:44,728
The odd bit of assonance.

376
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:45,888
She thinks she's a grown-up,

377
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:47,688
so she likes to talk about
the use of language.

378
00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:51,888
Yeah. Er, kick off by commenting
on how poetic her prose is,

379
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,208
on how particular her
<font color="

380
00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:56,208
and you'll have her
eating out of your hand.

381
00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:57,488
Seriously, she's such a tart.

382
00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:58,968
Yeah.

383
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:02,008
QUIETLY: There you go.
Thank you.

384
00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,128
I mean, she is good, she can use
language.

385
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:07,088
<font color="
Mantel as she thinks it is.

386
00:20:07,090 --> 00:20:09,328
Oh, er, and count here
she writes like Rose Tremain!

387
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,970
She'll love you for ever if you
say that.

388
00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:15,248
Hi.

389
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,768
Oh, hi. Is...

390
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:19,168
Yeah, your dad's here - she must be
<font color="

391
00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:21,488
OK.
Thank you. Good luck!

392
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,610
Thank you. I love you.
Love you. Bye.

393
00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:28,968
She's a bit pissed.
Oh, good.

394
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:31,488
Are you all right?
Is...yeah.

395
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:34,928
<font color="
I asked to do the interview

396
00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:37,848
has, er, thrown in the towel,

397
00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:39,808
so... Oh, no!

398
00:20:39,810 --> 00:20:43,168
Yeah, so now I'm doing it, and I
have read one of her books, once,

399
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:45,528
and I have seen one of the
films, once,

400
00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:48,250
<font color="
everyone is, so, er...

401
00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:51,408
How's the wedding plans going?

402
00:20:51,410 --> 00:20:53,090
Is...urgh.

403
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,568
How's your...?

404
00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:57,728
My...?

405
00:20:57,730 --> 00:21:00,408
Lawrence said you had a new... No.
..woman? No.

406
00:21:00,410 --> 00:21:01,928
<font color="

407
00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:03,608
So you're not...? No.

408
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,170
Oh.

409
00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:11,970
Are you all right? Yes! Look, it's
only Judith you're interviewing.

410
00:21:18,090 --> 00:21:21,170
This isn't attractive.

411
00:21:22,330 --> 00:21:26,448
Judith, these are
<font color="

412
00:21:26,450 --> 00:21:28,408
You are a role model.

413
00:21:28,410 --> 00:21:29,730
They adore you.

414
00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:32,768
They're not from privileged
homes.

415
00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:37,290
You have a lot of power here.
You can do a lot of good.

416
00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:42,648
What you cannot do,
however, Judith, is to...

417
00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:46,328
<font color="
Dickinson...

418
00:21:46,330 --> 00:21:48,688
Go into that auditorium

419
00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:52,888
and fill that water in that jug
on that stage

420
00:21:52,890 --> 00:21:55,728
with this water from
this bottle here,

421
00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:58,528
and your career at MetaFable

422
00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:00,728
will be bright, shiny,

423
00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:02,408
<font color="

424
00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:04,968
You keep going on at me like this,

425
00:22:04,970 --> 00:22:07,088
and you'll be lucky to find a
job shovelling shit

426
00:22:07,090 --> 00:22:09,608
from Siberia to Outer Mongolia.

427
00:22:09,610 --> 00:22:10,930
All right?

428
00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,970
Judith!

429
00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:34,368
Caroline! How are you?

430
00:22:34,370 --> 00:22:37,810
Oh. Yeah, I'm, er...

431
00:22:39,930 --> 00:22:42,928
<font color="
the assembly hall?

432
00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:44,368
I'll take it from here.

433
00:22:44,370 --> 00:22:46,248
Are you sure?

434
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,290
Yeah. Helen!

435
00:22:49,930 --> 00:22:53,168
Could you show John through to the
hall, please? The VIP seats.

436
00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:54,528
Absolutely!

437
00:22:54,530 --> 00:22:56,010
So excited.

438
00:22:57,370 --> 00:22:58,810
<font color="
Yeah.

439
00:23:01,170 --> 00:23:02,690
So, how's it hanging?

440
00:23:03,930 --> 00:23:05,490
Yeah, it's good.

441
00:23:08,170 --> 00:23:09,210
Caroline?

442
00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:14,130
Well, I... I'm, am...

443
00:23:18,410 --> 00:23:20,048
It's just, er...

444
00:23:20,050 --> 00:23:21,450
Darling, what's happened?

445
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:25,130
Nothing. Is...

446
00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:30,048
<font color="
I've really turned it round,

447
00:23:30,050 --> 00:23:32,088
and it was hard. I was bereaved.

448
00:23:32,090 --> 00:23:35,368
And things like this are so
important for the students.

449
00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:39,008
Getting someone like you here,
it means they matter.

450
00:23:39,010 --> 00:23:43,448
And now I'm just going to let them
<font color="

451
00:23:43,450 --> 00:23:46,368
The problem...
The immediate problem

452
00:23:46,370 --> 00:23:50,248
is that the person who was supposed
to be interviewing you...isn't.

453
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:51,648
Why?

454
00:23:51,650 --> 00:23:53,168
Because, oh...

455
00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:56,010
Because she's accused me of
something...

456
00:23:57,410 --> 00:23:58,848
<font color="

457
00:23:58,850 --> 00:24:02,688
Which, you know me, I just wouldn't.

458
00:24:02,690 --> 00:24:03,968
No! Would I?

459
00:24:03,970 --> 00:24:05,928
Yeah, no. Course you wouldn't.

460
00:24:05,930 --> 00:24:07,568
I would. You wouldn't.

461
00:24:07,570 --> 00:24:11,048
And she really got the wrong
end of the stick. Well, not...

462
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:13,648
Not... But I didn't do anything,
<font color="

463
00:24:13,650 --> 00:24:15,648
And then she said she's not
doing it, this, the interview,

464
00:24:15,650 --> 00:24:17,768
so I'm doing it,
and I'm not prepared.

465
00:24:17,770 --> 00:24:22,608
Not that I don't love your work
and your books, Judith, I...

466
00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:25,448
I... I do. Er... No, I do.

467
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:28,608
<font color="
a way that's...

468
00:24:28,610 --> 00:24:31,328
that's breathtaking.
I'd have reread them all

469
00:24:31,330 --> 00:24:34,848
if I'd known that I was going
to, but... So it's shoddy.

470
00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:37,808
And it's not fair on you,
it's not fair on the students,

471
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:40,128
it's not fair on me,
<font color="

472
00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:42,368
and I've been made to feel
like some...some...

473
00:24:42,370 --> 00:24:44,450
Well, I don't know what.
Some kind of a...

474
00:24:45,970 --> 00:24:47,688
And I'm not, am I?

475
00:24:47,690 --> 00:24:49,688
Or maybe I am?
Jesus!

476
00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:51,368
No, Caroline.

477
00:24:51,370 --> 00:24:54,608
<font color="
needs their arse kicked.

478
00:24:54,610 --> 00:25:00,490
You are the most decent
person I know.

479
00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:07,088
Is that vodka?

480
00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:08,530
No!

481
00:25:11,090 --> 00:25:12,610
Could I have a swig?

482
00:25:23,290 --> 00:25:25,808
Listen, babe, we can do this.

483
00:25:25,810 --> 00:25:28,848
We can knock this little fella
<font color="

484
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:32,008
Yeah, don't swear when you get out
there. Yeah. Don't swear.

485
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:33,770
Yeah. I won't swear.

486
00:26:05,570 --> 00:26:07,568
Oh!

487
00:26:07,570 --> 00:26:10,168
I thought they'd be here all day.

488
00:26:10,170 --> 00:26:11,248
Who?

489
00:26:11,250 --> 00:26:12,810
What d'you mean, who? Oh.

490
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,888
<font color="
Now what?

491
00:26:16,890 --> 00:26:19,808
I've got to pick our Flora and
Calamity up from school.

492
00:26:19,810 --> 00:26:22,208
So don't get settled. Oh, I'll be
all right, I'll stop here.

493
00:26:22,210 --> 00:26:24,288
You will not!

494
00:26:24,290 --> 00:26:26,330
I can't have you wandering
off again.

495
00:26:35,690 --> 00:26:38,448
<font color="
Bristol Live.

496
00:26:38,450 --> 00:26:39,928
"On his Instagram account,

497
00:26:39,930 --> 00:26:41,008
"the artist known as Banksy

498
00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:42,168
"has finally denied..."
What? What?

499
00:26:42,170 --> 00:26:43,928
What's he saying? Eh?
"Denied.

500
00:26:43,930 --> 00:26:46,688
"Denied being behind
<font color="

501
00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:49,528
"that appeared on a barn at Far
Slack Farm in Soyland, West
Yorkshire,

502
00:26:49,530 --> 00:26:52,808
"over the weekend."
Oh! Well, that sucks!

503
00:26:52,810 --> 00:26:56,528
What an A-hole! Is that definitely,
definitely, like,

504
00:26:56,530 --> 00:26:58,008
<font color="

505
00:26:58,010 --> 00:26:59,888
Is that... Is that, like, for
definite?

506
00:26:59,890 --> 00:27:01,448
Dunno, dunno. I dunno.

507
00:27:01,450 --> 00:27:03,608
Yeah, looks like there's a
whole, like, gallery of stuff

508
00:27:03,610 --> 00:27:05,610
he's denied being
responsible for.

509
00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:10,928
That's a big load of
<font color="

510
00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,608
Yeah, he could've
pretended, hey? At least.

511
00:27:13,610 --> 00:27:15,850
It's no skin off his nose.

512
00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:22,208
SHEEP BLEED

513
00:27:22,210 --> 00:27:25,770
What's happened?
What's happening?

514
00:27:30,930 --> 00:27:34,450
What's she doing, angel?
Dunno, babe.

515
00:27:38,530 --> 00:27:40,328
GILLIAN GROANS

516
00:27:40,330 --> 00:27:41,688
<font color="

517
00:27:41,690 --> 00:27:43,050
What's happening?

518
00:27:45,370 --> 00:27:51,928
There were 30 ewes and
nearly 60 lambs in this field.

519
00:27:51,930 --> 00:27:55,530
And now some
rubber-necking, trespassing...

520
00:27:56,770 --> 00:27:58,970
..has gone and left the gate...

521
00:27:59,930 --> 00:28:01,608
..wide open!

522
00:28:01,610 --> 00:28:02,690
Gillian.

523
00:28:10,970 --> 00:28:12,728
Yeah, right.

524
00:28:12,730 --> 00:28:16,130
<font color="
what needs to happen next.

525
00:28:30,930 --> 00:28:32,168
The world

526
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:34,048
What do you want?
Come on, I'm busy,

527
00:28:34,050 --> 00:28:34,048
I've got stuff to...

528
00:28:34,050 --> 00:28:35,690
PHONE RINGS

529
00:28:39,490 --> 00:28:41,330
In your own time.

530
00:28:42,610 --> 00:28:44,248
Afternoon?

531
00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,648
BOTH: Hello.
<font color="

532
00:28:45,650 --> 00:28:47,210
Have a load of your sheep got out?

533
00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:50,728
Yeah. Yeah, they have.

534
00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,008
I've just found t'gate open,
just now.

535
00:28:53,010 --> 00:28:55,128
Who is it?
Old lad lives down t'road.

536
00:28:55,130 --> 00:28:57,728
Right, because they've been
at all them cannabis plants

537
00:28:57,730 --> 00:28:59,848
<font color="
Lane,

538
00:28:59,850 --> 00:29:01,608
and they've been on t'main
road.

539
00:29:01,610 --> 00:29:05,528
Oh, God. OK. Er, thanks, Fred.
Thanks for letting me know.

540
00:29:05,530 --> 00:29:07,448
You want to get down there
and round 'em up, love,

541
00:29:07,450 --> 00:29:09,328
before they cause an
<font color="

542
00:29:09,330 --> 00:29:10,530
Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

543
00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:13,408
Yeah, so...

544
00:29:13,410 --> 00:29:15,488
..we've got half a tonne of
mutton off their tits on cannabis

545
00:29:15,490 --> 00:29:17,368
down in Millbank.

546
00:29:17,370 --> 00:29:19,328
Have you ever seen a sheep
off its tits on cannabis?

547
00:29:19,330 --> 00:29:22,008
<font color="

548
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:24,128
Lose all their inhibitions.

549
00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:28,368
You see, normally, your average
Swaledale is fairly docile.

550
00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:31,848
Meek. Self-effacing. Shy.

551
00:29:31,850 --> 00:29:34,768
Not disposed to create anything
much in the way of drama.

552
00:29:34,770 --> 00:29:36,368
They've terrorised the pre-school.

553
00:29:36,370 --> 00:29:39,368
<font color="
held the driver up at gunpoint,

554
00:29:39,370 --> 00:29:41,528
made him drive 'em into Halifax.

555
00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:43,688
Six more went into the Old
Bridge Inn,

556
00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:45,288
trashed the place with
baseball bats.

557
00:29:45,290 --> 00:29:46,648
No, they didn't.

558
00:29:46,650 --> 00:29:49,048
They've been mugging
<font color="

559
00:29:49,050 --> 00:29:52,168
Well, one of 'em got on a bus
and shat everywhere.

560
00:29:52,170 --> 00:29:55,928
Several people's gardens have been
trashed, aggressively,

561
00:29:55,930 --> 00:29:58,888
including the beer garden
down at the Old Bridge Inn.

562
00:29:58,890 --> 00:30:02,248
One very unhappy 6'3",
<font color="

563
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,808
who was formerly very proud
of his geraniums.

564
00:30:04,810 --> 00:30:07,928
And, yeah, a couple of 'em
got into the pre-school

565
00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:10,848
and upset the little 'uns. Really
upset them. We're talking tears.

566
00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:14,568
Vomit and shit everywhere.
And...

567
00:30:14,570 --> 00:30:17,368
<font color="
ground outside the post office.

568
00:30:17,370 --> 00:30:19,130
That's when I got called in.

569
00:30:20,330 --> 00:30:25,248
So I suggest you get down
there with your trailer ASAP.

570
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:28,128
Then I suggest a few snivelling
apologies might not go amiss.

571
00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:29,330
INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER

572
00:30:31,650 --> 00:30:33,608
<font color="
out.

573
00:30:33,610 --> 00:30:36,208
Yeah. No, it's fine.
We'll, er, we'll help.

574
00:30:36,210 --> 00:30:37,930
I'll bring my camera.

575
00:30:41,170 --> 00:30:42,290
This gate...

576
00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:45,728
..was left open...

577
00:30:45,730 --> 00:30:47,570
..by some...

578
00:30:51,570 --> 00:30:56,528
..coming to goggle at the vandalism
<font color="

579
00:30:56,530 --> 00:30:58,288
which I haven't even bothered
reporting to you lot

580
00:30:58,290 --> 00:30:59,608
cos I know how not interested
you'll be.

581
00:30:59,610 --> 00:30:59,608
SHE SCOFFS

582
00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:02,408
And, also,

583
00:31:02,410 --> 00:31:04,168
why aren't you lot doing anything

584
00:31:04,170 --> 00:31:06,768
about the outlaws
<font color="

585
00:31:06,770 --> 00:31:09,248
of their nasty little cannabis farms
everywhere?

586
00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:10,648
Happens all the time round here!

587
00:31:10,650 --> 00:31:12,648
It's a... It's a weekly occurrence!

588
00:31:12,650 --> 00:31:16,168
And you never catch 'em, because
they always seem to know

589
00:31:16,170 --> 00:31:19,168
when you're going to bust 'em,
<font color="

590
00:31:19,170 --> 00:31:23,168
probably by one o' your dippy
lot, and then this happens!

591
00:31:23,170 --> 00:31:25,328
SHE SIGHS
It's a good job it's me on duty

592
00:31:25,330 --> 00:31:26,928
and not Sergeant Cawood,

593
00:31:26,930 --> 00:31:29,288
cos she'd rip your spleen out
through your nose for you,

594
00:31:29,290 --> 00:31:30,930
<font color="
like that.

595
00:31:32,930 --> 00:31:34,608
Ooh, scary.

596
00:31:34,610 --> 00:31:36,650
Shaking. Look.

597
00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:41,490
Go and get your trailer, and I'll
meet you down in Millbank.

598
00:31:49,570 --> 00:31:51,530
You murdering bitch.

599
00:31:53,890 --> 00:31:55,130
SHE SNIFFS

600
00:31:59,850 --> 00:32:01,530
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

601
00:32:22,250 --> 00:32:24,128
<font color="

602
00:32:24,130 --> 00:32:24,128
That was terrific!

603
00:32:24,130 --> 00:32:25,328
CAROLINE SIGHS

604
00:32:25,330 --> 00:32:27,648
Both of you, absolutely splendid.

605
00:32:27,650 --> 00:32:29,568
Oh, shut up. Was it?

606
00:32:29,570 --> 00:32:33,368
I've heard it all before, obviously,
but somehow, I don't know,

607
00:32:33,370 --> 00:32:37,808
it all came up fresh.
<font color="

608
00:32:37,810 --> 00:32:40,088
You didn't mind me dropping that
into the conversation, did you?

609
00:32:40,090 --> 00:32:41,170
Sorry.

610
00:32:42,130 --> 00:32:43,288
About you being gay.

611
00:32:43,290 --> 00:32:46,208
Oh!
It just came out.

612
00:32:46,210 --> 00:32:48,088
I assume they all know anyway.

613
00:32:48,090 --> 00:32:52,048
Oh, yeah. Yeah, they all... Yeah.
<font color="

614
00:32:52,050 --> 00:32:53,448
and applauded when I said it.

615
00:32:53,450 --> 00:32:56,488
Oh. God, they love you,
don't they, those kids?

616
00:32:56,490 --> 00:32:59,608
God, they do! They really do,
Caroline.

617
00:32:59,610 --> 00:33:01,488
Yes. Yes.

618
00:33:01,490 --> 00:33:02,570
And I love them.

619
00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:05,368
What super kids.

620
00:33:05,370 --> 00:33:07,010
<font color="
They are.

621
00:33:08,650 --> 00:33:12,048
Did you say that you wanted
me to do some photographs?

622
00:33:12,050 --> 00:33:13,968
Oh, if you wouldn't mind.
Oh, I'd love to.

623
00:33:13,970 --> 00:33:16,130
Oh, that would be so
generous of your time.

624
00:33:22,490 --> 00:33:23,570
BELL DINGS

625
00:33:55,850 --> 00:33:57,690
<font color="

626
00:34:00,370 --> 00:34:01,610
DOOR OPENS

627
00:34:03,490 --> 00:34:06,930
Granny, wake up.
Grandad's here.

628
00:34:10,330 --> 00:34:12,568
HE CHUCKLES

629
00:34:12,570 --> 00:34:13,928
SHE GROANS

630
00:34:13,930 --> 00:34:16,090
TED SNORES

631
00:34:19,090 --> 00:34:22,408
We're going to have to get
some fish and chips for tea.

632
00:34:22,410 --> 00:34:25,008
Can you pick some up on your way
<font color="

633
00:34:25,010 --> 00:34:27,448
when you take Calamity home?

634
00:34:27,450 --> 00:34:29,488
I shall sleep well tonight!

635
00:34:29,490 --> 00:34:31,128
Well, I hope I will.

636
00:34:31,130 --> 00:34:34,648
It's been nonstop since you walked
out of that door this morning.

637
00:34:34,650 --> 00:34:37,008
And I've had him
to trail round with me again.

638
00:34:37,010 --> 00:34:38,368
All day.

639
00:34:38,370 --> 00:34:40,488
<font color="

640
00:34:40,490 --> 00:34:43,048
And then I've been trying
to get hold of Martin,

641
00:34:43,050 --> 00:34:44,928
but there's no reply.

642
00:34:44,930 --> 00:34:47,530
We got back here at ten to
three, and they'd gone.

643
00:34:49,050 --> 00:34:51,008
I assumed they were coming
back, but they haven't.

644
00:34:51,010 --> 00:34:53,408
<font color="
and a cup of tea

645
00:34:53,410 --> 00:34:56,568
before I start taxiing people
about.

646
00:34:56,570 --> 00:34:58,248
You used to be able
to rely on workmen.

647
00:34:58,250 --> 00:34:59,888
He said ten days - max -

648
00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:03,128
and we'd have a fully
functioning kitchen.

649
00:35:03,130 --> 00:35:07,168
<font color="
he's for the high-jump.

650
00:35:07,170 --> 00:35:11,208
Where's t'kettle?
It's outside the bathroom.

651
00:35:11,210 --> 00:35:14,688
Is it on?
Oh, you want me to put it on?

652
00:35:14,690 --> 00:35:16,128
No, I'll do it.

653
00:35:16,130 --> 00:35:17,608
Where are the mugs?

654
00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:19,128
In the bedroom.

655
00:35:19,130 --> 00:35:22,368
<font color="
windowsill in the living room.

656
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,968
And the milk's in the bathroom.

657
00:35:24,970 --> 00:35:27,408
There's some teaspoons
chucking about somewhere.

658
00:35:27,410 --> 00:35:29,408
Oh, I'll do it.
No, I'll do it.

659
00:35:29,410 --> 00:35:31,010
No, you sit down.

660
00:35:32,890 --> 00:35:36,128
You see,
<font color="

661
00:35:36,130 --> 00:35:39,208
for me having to start picking
them two up on my own.

662
00:35:39,210 --> 00:35:43,328
They're no trouble,
but they just never stop,

663
00:35:43,330 --> 00:35:46,568
and it's easier to manage
them when there's two of you.

664
00:35:46,570 --> 00:35:50,008
And Ted - bless him -
he's clueless with 'em.

665
00:35:50,010 --> 00:35:53,208
<font color="

666
00:35:53,210 --> 00:35:56,248
Him saying that you said he could
stay here indefinitely.

667
00:35:56,250 --> 00:35:59,808
That, I'm telling you, is not a
conversation we've had.

668
00:35:59,810 --> 00:36:01,488
He's come up with that himself.

669
00:36:01,490 --> 00:36:02,808
He's in a world of his own.

670
00:36:02,810 --> 00:36:04,848
You need to talk to him.

671
00:36:04,850 --> 00:36:07,168
<font color="
happening.

672
00:36:07,170 --> 00:36:10,330
If I start digging for
information, he just grunts.

673
00:36:11,810 --> 00:36:13,328
Who are you ringing? Gillian.

674
00:36:13,330 --> 00:36:16,330
See if she can come over
and fetch Calamity.

675
00:36:17,450 --> 00:36:20,728
Well, we'll still need to fetch
<font color="

676
00:36:20,730 --> 00:36:20,728
Caroline's here now, see?

677
00:36:20,730 --> 00:36:22,848
CAR APPROACHES

678
00:36:22,850 --> 00:36:24,848
Flora! Your mother's here.

679
00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:26,608
GILLIAN: No, no. Right, listen...
PHONE BUZZES

680
00:36:26,610 --> 00:36:29,368
No, no, no, the buck does
stop wi' you,

681
00:36:29,370 --> 00:36:31,288
<font color="
way through your field,

682
00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:34,168
you know you're more than likely to
get idiots leaving the gates open.

683
00:36:34,170 --> 00:36:36,008
Oh, my God,
they're so fast, angel!

684
00:36:36,010 --> 00:36:38,168
This is for your benefit,
not mine.

685
00:36:38,170 --> 00:36:41,568
<font color="
to be anticipating that.

686
00:36:41,570 --> 00:36:43,328
You should be providing a stile,
which will allow them easy access,

687
00:36:43,330 --> 00:36:45,688
and not let these evil little
bastards escape.

688
00:36:45,690 --> 00:36:48,488
And look at Mrs Peacock.
She's traumatised!

689
00:36:48,490 --> 00:36:49,810
<font color="

690
00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:53,568
Oh, blimey.

691
00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:55,450
HE CHUCKLES

692
00:36:57,130 --> 00:37:00,008
Another few days,
and you won't recognise it!

693
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:01,528
It's gone to voicemail.

694
00:37:01,530 --> 00:37:03,128
Are you all right, Alan?

695
00:37:03,130 --> 00:37:05,368
Mm. He's exhausted.

696
00:37:05,370 --> 00:37:06,808
..Flora!

697
00:37:06,810 --> 00:37:08,928
<font color="

698
00:37:08,930 --> 00:37:10,330
Are you all right? Yeah.

699
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:13,368
Yes.

700
00:37:13,370 --> 00:37:14,648
Yes, I hope I'm fit to drive.

701
00:37:14,650 --> 00:37:16,088
I was knocking back the
vodka this afternoon.

702
00:37:16,090 --> 00:37:18,008
You were? At school?

703
00:37:18,010 --> 00:37:20,128
It was only a nip.
Well, it was two nips.

704
00:37:20,130 --> 00:37:22,288
<font color="
but it's Judith.

705
00:37:22,290 --> 00:37:24,288
You know what Judith's like.

706
00:37:24,290 --> 00:37:29,008
Judith? Oh, she, erm...
Yes, she came to do this talk.

707
00:37:29,010 --> 00:37:30,808
Well, it was a QandA.

708
00:37:30,810 --> 00:37:32,448
And somehow, God knows,

709
00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:35,168
she managed to replace the
<font color="

710
00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:36,808
on the stage with vodka.

711
00:37:36,810 --> 00:37:38,088
How?

712
00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:41,408
So that took me by surprise about
halfway through the proceedings,

713
00:37:41,410 --> 00:37:43,288
when my throat got a bit dry...

714
00:37:43,290 --> 00:37:45,768
Anyway, it went very well,
vodka or no vodka.

715
00:37:45,770 --> 00:37:47,290
Maybe because of the vodka.

716
00:37:48,370 --> 00:37:50,208
<font color="

717
00:37:50,210 --> 00:37:50,208
FLORA: Uncle Ted's snoring.

718
00:37:50,210 --> 00:37:52,448
SHE CHUCKLES

719
00:37:52,450 --> 00:37:55,608
You couldn't take Calamity back to
Gillian's for us, could you?

720
00:37:55,610 --> 00:37:58,968
Yeah! It's the opposite
direction. ..Shh.

721
00:37:58,970 --> 00:38:00,648
Well, not if you went over
<font color="

722
00:38:00,650 --> 00:38:02,248
Yes, but I never go
over the tops,

723
00:38:02,250 --> 00:38:03,648
because it's another 20 minutes.

724
00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:06,168
It's all right. I'll take her.
I think, realistically,

725
00:38:06,170 --> 00:38:09,728
we're going to have to rethink
this arrangement.

726
00:38:09,730 --> 00:38:12,648
<font color="
after school.

727
00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:14,288
BOTH: Why?

728
00:38:14,290 --> 00:38:18,408
Because it's not us any more,
is it? It's me, on my own,

729
00:38:18,410 --> 00:38:22,848
lugging him, Ted - bless him.
You know, since his escapade...

730
00:38:22,850 --> 00:38:26,848
And then no kitchen to come home to
<font color="

731
00:38:26,850 --> 00:38:28,728
Right. OK.

732
00:38:28,730 --> 00:38:30,888
Well, that's going to be...

733
00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:33,448
What?
Difficult. But, yes. Yes. OK.

734
00:38:33,450 --> 00:38:35,208
I'll sort something else out,
then.

735
00:38:35,210 --> 00:38:37,930
Come on, Calamity. Get your
stuff. I'll drive you home.

736
00:38:40,770 --> 00:38:42,568
<font color="

737
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:45,490
I've said everything I'm going
to say to him on the subject.

738
00:38:47,690 --> 00:38:49,050
Come along, Flora.

739
00:38:57,450 --> 00:38:59,648
Judith.

740
00:38:59,650 --> 00:39:01,768
Judith. Judith!

741
00:39:01,770 --> 00:39:03,288
We're back.

742
00:39:03,290 --> 00:39:04,450
Oh.

743
00:39:14,010 --> 00:39:15,568
I was thinking...

744
00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:18,048
<font color="

745
00:39:18,050 --> 00:39:21,568
Do we NEED to get married?

746
00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:24,488
I mean, I just think, you know,

747
00:39:24,490 --> 00:39:25,808
aren't we all right as we are?

748
00:39:25,810 --> 00:39:28,248
You mean, carry on? Yeah.

749
00:39:28,250 --> 00:39:31,088
Like this? Yeah.

750
00:39:31,090 --> 00:39:33,288
It works, doesn't it?

751
00:39:33,290 --> 00:39:35,328
<font color="

752
00:39:35,330 --> 00:39:38,208
I realised something today.

753
00:39:38,210 --> 00:39:40,808
Did you? Mm.

754
00:39:40,810 --> 00:39:45,168
Something really quite...profound.

755
00:39:45,170 --> 00:39:47,010
What?

756
00:39:50,970 --> 00:39:52,530
I don't love you.

757
00:39:53,970 --> 00:39:55,170
Never loved you.

758
00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:59,248
We just...drifted into this
mess together

759
00:39:59,250 --> 00:40:01,050
<font color="

760
00:40:02,810 --> 00:40:05,608
So yes, you're right -

761
00:40:05,610 --> 00:40:07,770
we shouldn't get married.

762
00:40:13,090 --> 00:40:14,648
In fact...

763
00:40:14,650 --> 00:40:16,408
..you should leave.

764
00:40:16,410 --> 00:40:19,048
Should I? What?

765
00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:20,688
Well, I can't leave.

766
00:40:20,690 --> 00:40:22,850
It's my house.

767
00:40:31,170 --> 00:40:32,448
Was anyone hurt?

768
00:40:32,450 --> 00:40:35,488
No. No, it was PC Nitwit
<font color="

769
00:40:35,490 --> 00:40:37,048
ALAN CHUCKLES

770
00:40:37,050 --> 00:40:39,808
I just had to spend
the afternoon apologising.

771
00:40:39,810 --> 00:40:43,408
And people were kind, on the
whole, considering the damage.

772
00:40:43,410 --> 00:40:45,488
Even the bloke at the pub...

773
00:40:45,490 --> 00:40:46,608
..eventually.

774
00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:50,248
I offered to do a couple of
<font color="

775
00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:53,408
And then I said I'd pop in on
Beryl, the pensioner,

776
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:56,448
and do a bit of shopping for
her, summat.

777
00:40:56,450 --> 00:40:58,968
She wasn't hurt,
she was just shaken.

778
00:40:58,970 --> 00:41:00,688
And the school, er, they...

779
00:41:00,690 --> 00:41:03,248
..they want to bring a bunch
<font color="

780
00:41:03,250 --> 00:41:05,368
next season. So that's all
right, I can do that.

781
00:41:05,370 --> 00:41:07,608
If I'm still here.

782
00:41:07,610 --> 00:41:10,728
What do you mean?
Seven of 'em are still missing.

783
00:41:10,730 --> 00:41:12,728
That's not including the two that
were knocked down and killed

784
00:41:12,730 --> 00:41:15,168
<font color="

785
00:41:15,170 --> 00:41:16,650
..600 quid. It's gone.

786
00:41:18,090 --> 00:41:20,008
And it isn't like I ever make
any money on the sheep.

787
00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:22,450
Even at the best of times,
they only ever break even.

788
00:41:23,570 --> 00:41:23,568
But that's...

789
00:41:23,570 --> 00:41:26,848
SHE SIGHS

790
00:41:26,850 --> 00:41:30,048
Oh, I thought it was such a good
<font color="

791
00:41:30,050 --> 00:41:34,168
but, of course, obviously not.

792
00:41:34,170 --> 00:41:36,250
600 quid down and...

793
00:41:38,010 --> 00:41:39,810
..I just can't face...

794
00:41:42,970 --> 00:41:46,048
..the debt, the stress every day.

795
00:41:46,050 --> 00:41:48,448
I could sell up, pay it all off.

796
00:41:48,450 --> 00:41:51,048
Get a little place
down in Ripponden, little flat.

797
00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:52,768
<font color="
I'd be all right.

798
00:41:52,770 --> 00:41:54,808
What about Raff and Ellie?

799
00:41:54,810 --> 00:41:57,208
Hmm. They earn more than I do.

800
00:41:57,210 --> 00:41:58,888
Not just between 'em.

801
00:41:58,890 --> 00:42:00,048
Each.

802
00:42:00,050 --> 00:42:01,848
You'd be miserable.

803
00:42:01,850 --> 00:42:05,768
Not waking up to that view
every morning?

804
00:42:05,770 --> 00:42:08,370
<font color="
before because you were here.

805
00:42:09,650 --> 00:42:10,810
Before you married Celia.

806
00:42:12,050 --> 00:42:14,490
Then Robbie came. And now...

807
00:42:15,610 --> 00:42:18,168
..I feel like it's all
slipping through my fingers.

808
00:42:18,170 --> 00:42:21,528
It's like every day
I'm fighting a losing battle.

809
00:42:21,530 --> 00:42:21,528
And that...

810
00:42:21,530 --> 00:42:23,290
<font color="

811
00:42:24,450 --> 00:42:26,368
..barn...

812
00:42:26,370 --> 00:42:28,008
VEHICLE STOPS

813
00:42:28,010 --> 00:42:30,248
Oh, I wouldn't be sad
to get away from that.

814
00:42:30,250 --> 00:42:31,368
ALAN STAMMERS

815
00:42:31,370 --> 00:42:33,048
DOOR OPENS

816
00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:35,688
Have you seen Instagram?
Yeah, yeah.

817
00:42:35,690 --> 00:42:39,128
Right. Come on, you two. We can get
<font color="

818
00:42:39,130 --> 00:42:40,688
There's no tea cooked -

819
00:42:40,690 --> 00:42:43,088
I've been rounding up
escaped sheep all afternoon.

820
00:42:43,090 --> 00:42:46,208
And I've said I'd drive these
two over to Caroline's.

821
00:42:46,210 --> 00:42:47,728
How... How did they escape?

822
00:42:47,730 --> 00:42:51,168
Folk coming to gawp at that
<font color="

823
00:42:51,170 --> 00:42:53,968
Two of 'em are dead,
knocked down.

824
00:42:53,970 --> 00:42:57,688
I've reported it now anyway,
officially, to the police,

825
00:42:57,690 --> 00:42:59,248
as an act of vandalism.

826
00:42:59,250 --> 00:43:00,848
RAFF: See ya. Bye.

827
00:43:00,850 --> 00:43:02,328
<font color="
ELLIE: Pleasure.

828
00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:04,328
Bye, Grandad. Thanks for
driving me home.

829
00:43:04,330 --> 00:43:06,568
Bye-bye, love. Ta-ta.

830
00:43:06,570 --> 00:43:07,930
See you.

831
00:43:09,250 --> 00:43:10,608
DOOR CLOSES

832
00:43:10,610 --> 00:43:14,250
I wish I could do something
<font color="

833
00:43:15,370 --> 00:43:18,168
How's your kitchen? Oh!

834
00:43:18,170 --> 00:43:20,808
Are they an item?

835
00:43:20,810 --> 00:43:24,208
Come on! I haven't got all week.

836
00:43:24,210 --> 00:43:26,368
See you. Bye-bye, love. Don't work
too hard.

837
00:43:26,370 --> 00:43:29,650
I enjoy it! They're nice folk.
<font color="

838
00:43:31,290 --> 00:43:33,370
Gets me out of the house.

839
00:43:38,410 --> 00:43:39,690
CAR DOOR SHUTS

840
00:43:42,610 --> 00:43:43,690
Right!

841
00:43:48,450 --> 00:43:50,250
Let's try again, shall we?

842
00:44:18,650 --> 00:44:20,570
PHONE RINGS

843
00:44:26,850 --> 00:44:29,888
Hello? Celia? It's Nadine.

844
00:44:29,890 --> 00:44:31,368
Oh, Nadine!

845
00:44:31,370 --> 00:44:34,608
Hello, love! How are you?

846
00:44:34,610 --> 00:44:36,850
<font color="
He's in the garden.

847
00:44:37,930 --> 00:44:40,128
No, no, look. Listen, Celia.

848
00:44:40,130 --> 00:44:44,168
No, I'm just, er, just phoning
to see if he's OK, that's all.

849
00:44:44,170 --> 00:44:45,488
Yeah, he's fine.

850
00:44:45,490 --> 00:44:47,288
Well, he's all right.

851
00:44:47,290 --> 00:44:49,408
Well, he's a bit vague.

852
00:44:49,410 --> 00:44:52,608
He wandered off the other
<font color="

853
00:44:52,610 --> 00:44:55,288
Well, a fella and his dog did.

854
00:44:55,290 --> 00:44:57,368
Shall I fetch him?
No, no, no.

855
00:44:57,370 --> 00:45:00,890
Celia, he won't want to talk to
me. Just, erm...

856
00:45:02,570 --> 00:45:06,488
I just want to know, you know,
what the arrangement is.

857
00:45:06,490 --> 00:45:09,248
Just so that I know he's all
<font color="

858
00:45:09,250 --> 00:45:11,368
What arrangement?

859
00:45:11,370 --> 00:45:12,728
There.

860
00:45:12,730 --> 00:45:14,608
With him.

861
00:45:14,610 --> 00:45:16,168
And you and Uncle Alan.

862
00:45:16,170 --> 00:45:19,768
Well, there isn't one, as such.

863
00:45:19,770 --> 00:45:22,368
I mean, he's said he wants to
stop.

864
00:45:22,370 --> 00:45:24,808
And he can, but, er,

865
00:45:24,810 --> 00:45:26,688
if it's going to be more
<font color="

866
00:45:26,690 --> 00:45:29,568
well, you know, I mean,

867
00:45:29,570 --> 00:45:31,850
I'm assuming he's not short of
money...

868
00:45:34,770 --> 00:45:36,010
Nadine?

869
00:45:37,890 --> 00:45:41,370
And he'll be able to buy
himself a little house.

870
00:45:42,730 --> 00:45:45,088
You need to ask him about
Angelina.

871
00:45:45,090 --> 00:45:46,928
Who?

872
00:45:46,930 --> 00:45:48,250
<font color="

873
00:45:49,650 --> 00:45:52,008
SHE SIGHS
You should hear his side of it.

874
00:45:52,010 --> 00:45:55,730
Just ask him to tell you about
Angelina.

875
00:46:03,570 --> 00:46:06,728
So, she's saying she's not
going to pick them up any more.

876
00:46:06,730 --> 00:46:09,008
Either of them.
How's that going to work?

877
00:46:09,010 --> 00:46:10,248
<font color="

878
00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,928
Me dad never said owt,
and I've just seen him!

879
00:46:11,930 --> 00:46:13,288
Well, because he'll be in
denial, won't he?

880
00:46:13,290 --> 00:46:16,448
Because he knows she'll be
saying it to guilt-trip him.

881
00:46:16,450 --> 00:46:19,568
So, so... Sorry, is it OK
if Mia stays...

882
00:46:19,570 --> 00:46:21,608
<font color="

883
00:46:21,610 --> 00:46:23,288
Mm? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

884
00:46:23,290 --> 00:46:25,570
Yay! I'll show you upstairs.

885
00:46:27,050 --> 00:46:28,408
What happened to Alyssa?

886
00:46:28,410 --> 00:46:32,248
Oh, erm, went to York with Angus.

887
00:46:32,250 --> 00:46:34,528
FLORA: This way.
Yeah, we know where we're going!

888
00:46:34,530 --> 00:46:36,648
I'm showing Mia! Mind the step.

889
00:46:36,650 --> 00:46:38,928
<font color="
stairs.

890
00:46:38,930 --> 00:46:40,928
Why's your dad got this job?

891
00:46:40,930 --> 00:46:42,650
Oh, I think...

892
00:46:44,970 --> 00:46:46,728
..to get out of the house.

893
00:46:46,730 --> 00:46:48,330
To get away from my mother?

894
00:46:52,290 --> 00:46:53,848
Are they an item?

895
00:46:53,850 --> 00:46:56,128
She's about ten years older
than him.

896
00:46:56,130 --> 00:46:58,530
<font color="

897
00:47:07,570 --> 00:47:10,008
It's since Brexit, isn't it -
me dad and your mum?

898
00:47:10,010 --> 00:47:12,488
They were never going to see
eye to eye about that,

899
00:47:12,490 --> 00:47:14,768
and then it's just gone from
bad to worse,

900
00:47:14,770 --> 00:47:16,728
as the months
have dragged on and on

901
00:47:16,730 --> 00:47:18,368
<font color="

902
00:47:18,370 --> 00:47:19,888
The whole world's unravelling.

903
00:47:19,890 --> 00:47:21,248
Mine is.

904
00:47:21,250 --> 00:47:22,768
Is it? Is it? Mine is!

905
00:47:22,770 --> 00:47:24,928
John and Judith are getting
married.

906
00:47:24,930 --> 00:47:24,928
SHE CHUCKLES

907
00:47:24,930 --> 00:47:27,128
Wow.

908
00:47:27,130 --> 00:47:29,488
That's a special kind of crazy.

909
00:47:29,490 --> 00:47:32,288
<font color="

910
00:47:32,290 --> 00:47:34,928
I think she's deluded.

911
00:47:34,930 --> 00:47:36,728
I think she thinks
they're like that couple

912
00:47:36,730 --> 00:47:38,408
out of Who's Afraid Of
Virginia Woolf.

913
00:47:38,410 --> 00:47:42,248
You know, the ones who hate
each other and drink a lot.

914
00:47:42,250 --> 00:47:45,608
<font color="
thinks it's romantic, or desirable,

915
00:47:45,610 --> 00:47:47,288
or inevitable, or...

916
00:47:47,290 --> 00:47:49,768
SHE SIGHS DEEPLY

917
00:47:49,770 --> 00:47:50,770
OK.

918
00:47:51,930 --> 00:47:53,208
I need a wife.

919
00:47:53,210 --> 00:47:55,208
I need a husband.

920
00:47:55,210 --> 00:47:56,768
It's odd.

921
00:47:56,770 --> 00:47:57,928
When I saw John today,

922
00:47:57,930 --> 00:48:00,808
<font color="
divorced that I realised

923
00:48:00,810 --> 00:48:01,890
that...

924
00:48:03,610 --> 00:48:07,488
..that just now and again
I almost miss him. Do you? Hmm.

925
00:48:07,490 --> 00:48:09,208
Well, he was very sensible,
occasionally.

926
00:48:09,210 --> 00:48:11,648
Occasionally, he'd put a
<font color="

927
00:48:11,650 --> 00:48:14,648
that made you realise
it was nowhere near as...

928
00:48:14,650 --> 00:48:16,288
..worth committing suicide over

929
00:48:16,290 --> 00:48:19,408
as you'd worked yourself up
into thinking it was.

930
00:48:19,410 --> 00:48:21,930
So why's your world unravelling?

931
00:48:24,170 --> 00:48:25,290
SHE SIGHS

932
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:27,970
Isn't it stupid how...

933
00:48:29,650 --> 00:48:32,490
<font color="
your whole sense of...

934
00:48:33,890 --> 00:48:37,408
..who you are, however smart you
think you are,

935
00:48:37,410 --> 00:48:40,128
however resilient you
try and be?

936
00:48:40,130 --> 00:48:41,368
Yeah.

937
00:48:41,370 --> 00:48:42,890
Yeah! Yeah, that's me.

938
00:48:47,370 --> 00:48:50,648
I don't know how much longer
<font color="

939
00:48:50,650 --> 00:48:52,448
being a single parent.

940
00:48:52,450 --> 00:48:55,848
Even with them picking her
up every day, it still feels like

941
00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:58,968
it's just... It's juggling...

942
00:48:58,970 --> 00:49:01,488
..too many things all the time.

943
00:49:01,490 --> 00:49:04,970
And you cope, and you cope,
and then one thing...

944
00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:10,888
<font color="

945
00:49:10,890 --> 00:49:12,810
It wasn't a date.

946
00:49:14,090 --> 00:49:16,368
Ah. I see.

947
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,610
Is that...?

948
00:49:18,930 --> 00:49:21,130
Move on. Rise above it.

949
00:49:22,210 --> 00:49:24,130
You liked her. No, I didn't.

950
00:49:25,730 --> 00:49:27,650
What happened?

951
00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:32,088
You need a night out.

952
00:49:32,090 --> 00:49:35,488
No. That's the last thing
<font color="

953
00:49:35,490 --> 00:49:37,848
No, I'm not going to Hebden
Women's Disco,

954
00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:39,168
I've told you. Don't.

955
00:49:39,170 --> 00:49:41,168
Why don't we just get pissed
together one night?

956
00:49:41,170 --> 00:49:44,848
Because we'd wake up
the next day feeling worse.

957
00:49:44,850 --> 00:49:47,170
<font color="
What am I talking about?

958
00:49:48,250 --> 00:49:49,808
Oh, it's not a Banksy, then?

959
00:49:49,810 --> 00:49:51,210
Mm.

960
00:49:53,010 --> 00:49:54,848
I'm the same as you.

961
00:49:54,850 --> 00:49:58,328
I was doing all right - coping,
managing,

962
00:49:58,330 --> 00:50:00,488
even convincing myself
I was halfway to being happy.

963
00:50:00,490 --> 00:50:02,448
<font color="

964
00:50:02,450 --> 00:50:04,530
..one thing, one...

965
00:50:05,970 --> 00:50:09,168
..dumb, random, idiotic thing.

966
00:50:09,170 --> 00:50:10,370
And it's not even a Banksy!

967
00:50:16,050 --> 00:50:17,290
I'm thinking I might sell up.

968
00:50:19,530 --> 00:50:20,928
And do what?

969
00:50:20,930 --> 00:50:22,410
Nothing. Just...

970
00:50:23,730 --> 00:50:26,690
..call it a day,
find something else to do.

971
00:50:29,330 --> 00:50:30,730
<font color="

972
00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:33,130
No, I can.

973
00:50:40,570 --> 00:50:43,570
CAR APPROACHES

974
00:50:55,170 --> 00:50:56,728
CAR DOOR OPENS

975
00:50:56,730 --> 00:50:58,290
He's here.

976
00:50:59,970 --> 00:51:02,208
Do you want me to tell him?

977
00:51:02,210 --> 00:51:03,370
Yeah.

978
00:51:13,690 --> 00:51:15,128
We've had a phone call.

979
00:51:15,130 --> 00:51:18,688
Oh? Nadine. Ringing to see what
<font color="

980
00:51:18,690 --> 00:51:20,088
I said, "What arrangement?"

981
00:51:20,090 --> 00:51:25,968
And she said, "Tell him to tell you
about Angelina." He has no money.

982
00:51:25,970 --> 00:51:29,288
He did sell the house for 1.5
million, but it's gone.

983
00:51:29,290 --> 00:51:31,128
All of it. On a woman.

984
00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:35,728
Eh? He met her on a dating site
<font color="

985
00:51:35,730 --> 00:51:38,248
Except that she was 54.

986
00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,208
30 years younger than him!

987
00:51:40,210 --> 00:51:42,968
It sounds like he went silly
over her.

988
00:51:42,970 --> 00:51:45,648
She persuaded him to sell the
house

989
00:51:45,650 --> 00:51:48,928
and buy somewhere smaller
to free up some money.

990
00:51:48,930 --> 00:51:50,408
<font color="

991
00:51:50,410 --> 00:51:52,568
holidays, cruises...

992
00:51:52,570 --> 00:51:57,928
And then she asked him to invest in
her brother's business - boats.

993
00:51:57,930 --> 00:52:01,208
And that was when the rot set
in, apparently.

994
00:52:01,210 --> 00:52:02,928
Anyway, it's all gone.

995
00:52:02,930 --> 00:52:05,288
Got about 20 grand left. 20?!

996
00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:08,528
<font color="

997
00:52:08,530 --> 00:52:12,008
Before they tell you any
different, the little bastards.

998
00:52:12,010 --> 00:52:13,968
And then there's none of 'em
will have me!

999
00:52:13,970 --> 00:52:17,928
So you've got nothing left -
at all -

1000
00:52:17,930 --> 00:52:20,650
except this 20 grand?

1001
00:52:21,770 --> 00:52:23,408
And where is she,

1002
00:52:23,410 --> 00:52:26,328
<font color="

1003
00:52:26,330 --> 00:52:29,730
Well, it all ended rather
acrimoniously.

1004
00:52:30,810 --> 00:52:32,050
She moved on.

1005
00:52:33,970 --> 00:52:35,650
So...

1006
00:52:37,410 --> 00:52:38,410
..can I stop?

1007
00:52:40,490 --> 00:52:42,248
ROCK MUSIC BLARES UPSTAIRS

1008
00:52:42,250 --> 00:52:44,930
BED THUMPS

1009
00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:52,968
CAR APPROACHES

1010
00:52:52,970 --> 00:52:55,930
DOG BARKS

1011
00:52:57,930 --> 00:52:59,370
DOG WHIMPERS

1012
00:53:06,090 --> 00:53:07,728
<font color="
She's thrown me...

1013
00:53:07,730 --> 00:53:10,168
Well, she asked me to leave, so I
wasn't going to hang around.

1014
00:53:10,170 --> 00:53:12,688
I thought you were getting
married.

1015
00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:13,888
HE SCOFFS

1016
00:53:13,890 --> 00:53:16,328
And so why are you here?
Well, because she's thrown me...

1017
00:53:16,330 --> 00:53:18,568
<font color="

1018
00:53:18,570 --> 00:53:21,168
Well, so can I come in, then?
It's freezing!

1019
00:53:21,170 --> 00:53:21,168
But why are you here?

1020
00:53:21,170 --> 00:53:23,088
PHONE RINGS

1021
00:53:23,090 --> 00:53:24,248
Sorry?

1022
00:53:24,250 --> 00:53:27,448
They have hotels. Who do?

1023
00:53:27,450 --> 00:53:30,728
People.
People have hotels. For people.

1024
00:53:30,730 --> 00:53:32,128
<font color="

1025
00:53:32,130 --> 00:53:33,208
I'm coming in. Caroline?

1026
00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:34,448
Hello?

1027
00:53:34,450 --> 00:53:36,168
It's Judith.

1028
00:53:36,170 --> 00:53:37,288
Oh, hi.

1029
00:53:37,290 --> 00:53:38,568
..I am not your mother.

1030
00:53:38,570 --> 00:53:40,648
Sorry?
Yeah, listen.

1031
00:53:40,650 --> 00:53:42,768
I'm just ringing to say thanks
for today.

1032
00:53:42,770 --> 00:53:44,968
<font color="

1033
00:53:44,970 --> 00:53:47,728
And I don't always,
doing things like that.

1034
00:53:47,730 --> 00:53:50,608
And I just wanted to say thank
you.

1035
00:53:50,610 --> 00:53:51,808
Oh, well, it was a pleasure.

1036
00:53:51,810 --> 00:53:53,008
..You can't just turn up here

1037
00:53:53,010 --> 00:53:55,128
thinking you've got a
God-given right to move in.

1038
00:53:55,130 --> 00:53:56,288
<font color="

1039
00:53:56,290 --> 00:53:57,408
No, I know that.

1040
00:53:57,410 --> 00:54:00,370
Yeah, and I just wanted to,
erm... Oh, why did I ever...?

1041
00:54:01,730 --> 00:54:03,328
Listen.

1042
00:54:03,330 --> 00:54:05,448
I realised something...

1043
00:54:05,450 --> 00:54:06,770
..really big today...

1044
00:54:08,050 --> 00:54:09,328
..when I saw you.

1045
00:54:09,330 --> 00:54:10,968
What?

1046
00:54:10,970 --> 00:54:13,928
<font color="
else when I had you?

1047
00:54:13,930 --> 00:54:15,728
You wouldn't like to go...

1048
00:54:15,730 --> 00:54:17,610
..out for dinner with me,
would you?

1049
00:54:22,570 --> 00:54:24,810
She was a lovely person.

1050
00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:30,328
She fair cheered me up.

1051
00:54:30,330 --> 00:54:35,848
I'd got that used to being lonely,
<font color="

1052
00:54:35,850 --> 00:54:38,850
how it changes you,
lifts you up.

1053
00:54:41,090 --> 00:54:44,810
She liked doing stuff,
living life...

1054
00:54:46,090 --> 00:54:48,410
..having adventures.

1055
00:54:49,570 --> 00:54:53,048
It was my idea to put the house on
the market.

1056
00:54:53,050 --> 00:54:54,368
It made sense -

1057
00:54:54,370 --> 00:54:57,568
<font color="

1058
00:54:57,570 --> 00:54:59,448
And the only cash I had
was my pension,

1059
00:54:59,450 --> 00:55:02,250
so it seemed daft sitting on it.

1060
00:55:04,330 --> 00:55:06,728
So...

1061
00:55:06,730 --> 00:55:08,210
..we were happy...

1062
00:55:09,330 --> 00:55:10,570
..for, what...

1063
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,050
..about 18 months or so?

1064
00:55:15,890 --> 00:55:19,288
Until that business with her
<font color="

1065
00:55:19,290 --> 00:55:20,728
KNOCK ON DOOR

1066
00:55:20,730 --> 00:55:21,930
I'll go.

1067
00:55:23,930 --> 00:55:26,048
Well, did you go to the police?

1068
00:55:26,050 --> 00:55:27,210
Yes.

1069
00:55:30,970 --> 00:55:33,928
Turns out, they think
it's not the first time

1070
00:55:33,930 --> 00:55:36,888
that they've taken someone
for a ride... Oh...

1071
00:55:36,890 --> 00:55:41,530
<font color="
the beginning, it was a scam?!

1072
00:55:45,090 --> 00:55:49,008
Hello, Rick. Mrs Buttershaw, erm,
I'm sorry about this,

1073
00:55:49,010 --> 00:55:51,568
but we think he's gone bust -
Martin.

1074
00:55:51,570 --> 00:55:56,568
He owes us six weeks' wages, me and
<font color="

1075
00:55:56,570 --> 00:55:57,970
We think he's gone bust.

1076
00:56:02,290 --> 00:56:04,448
Morning! Is this a bad time to
be calling?

1077
00:56:04,450 --> 00:56:06,208
Starting a relationship with an
alcoholic

1078
00:56:06,210 --> 00:56:08,968
is not at the top of my list
of things to do.

1079
00:56:08,970 --> 00:56:11,448
<font color="
All 35 acres, the house...

1080
00:56:11,450 --> 00:56:14,648
Is that what it's worth? I am
worried you're going to regret it.

1081
00:56:14,650 --> 00:56:17,488
I'd like to go to Bridlington.
I could drive you. I have a car.

1082
00:56:17,490 --> 00:56:19,528
We'd have to get the bus down to
Sowerby Bridge,

1083
00:56:19,530 --> 00:56:21,408
<font color="

1084
00:56:21,410 --> 00:56:23,448
HARRY: Ted's gone AWOL again.

1085
00:56:23,450 --> 00:56:26,208
He is not all there, is he?
Hey...

1086
00:56:26,210 --> 00:56:27,848
I don't remember any of this.

1087
00:56:27,850 --> 00:56:29,768
As well as that,
they think he's vulnerable.

1088
00:56:29,770 --> 00:56:32,250
<font color="
that's why we're all here.