1
00:00:02,523 --> 00:00:07,228
Do you want to marry me? I'm
applying for a job. What for?!

2
00:00:07,230 --> 00:00:09,943
What if he gets someone difficult?!

3
00:00:09,945 --> 00:00:12,032
If you wanted to come
for dinner, I could cook.

4
00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:14,683
Are you seeing anyone?
Tell me about Lawrence.

5
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:16,723
They do a YouTube channel.

6
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,123
<font color="

7
00:00:18,125 --> 00:00:21,283
Needs doing sharpish.
Do you have that sort of money?

8
00:00:21,285 --> 00:00:23,403
We might have to put the
kitchen on hold.

9
00:00:23,405 --> 00:00:27,003
This is you all over, Gillian.
We'll find another way.

10
00:00:27,005 --> 00:00:28,803
PHONE RINGS
It's Ted.

11
00:00:28,805 --> 00:00:31,765
<font color="
The plot thickens.

12
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,765
Ta-ra. Night.

13
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,483
All right, look, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said...

14
00:01:36,485 --> 00:01:38,443
Let's...

15
00:01:38,445 --> 00:01:40,485
SHE SIGHS

16
00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:46,003
I shouldn't have said anything,
not on people's birthdays,

17
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:49,203
<font color="
home. No.

18
00:01:49,205 --> 00:01:52,643
I should've spoken to you
about it before we set off,

19
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:56,523
then we could have
discussed it properly.

20
00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:58,763
I do understand why you want
to help her.

21
00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:01,683
<font color="

22
00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:02,843
Just.

23
00:02:02,845 --> 00:02:06,283
She needs to stop thinking
she can tap money off me.

24
00:02:06,285 --> 00:02:09,043
I just worry, you know,
about workmen.

25
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:12,443
They can have you over a barrel
if you start mucking them about.

26
00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:15,923
<font color="
turning up late,

27
00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:19,205
turning up when it suits
them. I know, I know.

28
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,443
We can't fall out, can we?

29
00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:24,123
No!

30
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,165
And we're not going to.

31
00:02:30,485 --> 00:02:34,243
Have you applied for this job
<font color="

32
00:02:34,245 --> 00:02:35,803
because you're fed up with me?

33
00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:37,163
No!

34
00:02:37,165 --> 00:02:40,123
I know things haven't been
the same between us

35
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:43,685
since we couldn't agree about
Brexit.

36
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:50,003
It's just...to get out of the
house now and again.

37
00:02:50,005 --> 00:02:51,563
Just...

38
00:02:51,565 --> 00:02:54,203
<font color="

39
00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:56,885
Seeing new faces keeps you
young.

40
00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:01,685
Are you fed up with this old face?

41
00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,763
OWL HOOTS

42
00:03:05,765 --> 00:03:07,125
No.

43
00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:26,563
THE TV IS ON

44
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:28,683
DOG WHINES

45
00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:30,843
Listen, don't take this the
wrong way,

46
00:03:30,845 --> 00:03:32,963
<font color="

47
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,283
No.

48
00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:36,003
Caroline,

49
00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:37,923
she's right.

50
00:03:37,925 --> 00:03:41,083
Shouldn't have asked.
Well, it's there. The offer.

51
00:03:41,085 --> 00:03:42,203
If you need it.

52
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:44,683
You're kind, but no.

53
00:03:44,685 --> 00:03:47,285
I'll have to find another way.

54
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,485
You, are...

55
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,645
<font color="

56
00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:03,805
I got a birthday card off Robbie.

57
00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:12,643
Sounds like he's doing all right.
Do you think he'll stay in Canada?

58
00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:14,923
That's the first time he's been
in touch since he went.

59
00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:15,923
Well, in touch with me.

60
00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:18,003
He texts Raff every now and
<font color="

61
00:04:18,005 --> 00:04:19,363
That's what I thought.

62
00:04:19,365 --> 00:04:21,523
I mean...it's, er, reassuring.

63
00:04:21,525 --> 00:04:26,243
He hasn't changed his mind about not
saying anything to anybody...

64
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:27,685
..about owt.

65
00:04:28,725 --> 00:04:30,005
Hmm.

66
00:04:32,245 --> 00:04:35,843
I don't miss him. I thought
<font color="

67
00:04:35,845 --> 00:04:37,483
You don't get lonely?

68
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,805
I think this is the least lonely
I've ever been.

69
00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:44,523
Do you? Get lonely?

70
00:04:44,525 --> 00:04:48,483
Yeah. I think, you know,
when you've got a little one

71
00:04:48,485 --> 00:04:51,683
and you spend so much time
talking their language,

72
00:04:51,685 --> 00:04:55,323
<font color="
to talk yours, then...yeah.

73
00:04:55,325 --> 00:04:58,363
You want to put yourself out
there. I don't.

74
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,363
You need to get yourself over
to Hebden Women's Disco.

75
00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:04,283
I am not going to
Hebden Women's Disco.

76
00:05:04,285 --> 00:05:07,283
<font color="
I'll come with you.

77
00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:09,123
You'll be there by yourself,
mate, cos I'm not coming.

78
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,963
Where do posh lesbians go to
get...? The Guardian!

79
00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:15,163
Soulmates. Don't do this to me.
No, they do!

80
00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:16,763
<font color="
dinner tomorrow night.

81
00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:21,083
Don't get excited! It's not...
She's probably not, erm...

82
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:24,643
It's my head of English. Ruth.

83
00:05:24,645 --> 00:05:26,443
Wow.

84
00:05:26,445 --> 00:05:28,163
Yes, the same as... The dog.

85
00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,643
<font color="

86
00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:30,963
Well, she's not...

87
00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:32,443
WHISPERING: ..gay.

88
00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:34,363
Her husband's sleeping
in the spare bedroom,

89
00:05:34,365 --> 00:05:36,763
but she's not gay, so...

90
00:05:36,765 --> 00:05:38,923
But you like her.

91
00:05:38,925 --> 00:05:41,005
She's 15 years younger than
<font color="

92
00:05:42,365 --> 00:05:45,443
..as I say, but, yeah, yeah.
I do, yeah.

93
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,203
Do I? No, I don't know.

94
00:05:47,205 --> 00:05:50,083
So, she's coming round for...?

95
00:05:50,085 --> 00:05:51,763
Well, to go through the QandA.

96
00:05:51,765 --> 00:05:55,083
She's doing the QandA when Judith
comes, so, obviously,

97
00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,483
it's got to go smoothly

98
00:05:57,485 --> 00:06:00,883
<font color="
Yeah! God, yeah, Judith.

99
00:06:00,885 --> 00:06:02,563
No messing about.
No tripping up, pissed.

100
00:06:02,565 --> 00:06:06,203
So you've invited her over for
dinner? Ruth?

101
00:06:06,205 --> 00:06:09,363
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have.
No, you should have!

102
00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:13,125
Yeah, but I don't know what
<font color="

103
00:06:14,885 --> 00:06:16,763
..anything, and I kind of wish
I hadn't now,

104
00:06:16,765 --> 00:06:18,123
now that I've said it out loud.

105
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:20,923
Do you want me to come?
Say all the wrong things?

106
00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:23,443
Yeah, that'd help.
Show you up, embarrass you?

107
00:06:23,445 --> 00:06:24,923
Yeah, brilliant.

108
00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:26,363
<font color="

109
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:27,563
Shh.

110
00:06:27,565 --> 00:06:29,723
That'd focus everyone's thoughts.

111
00:06:29,725 --> 00:06:31,165
Don't make me wish I hadn't
told you.

112
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,603
You should go for it.

113
00:06:34,605 --> 00:06:36,163
You're very attractive,

114
00:06:36,165 --> 00:06:38,043
even if she is 15 years
younger.

115
00:06:38,045 --> 00:06:39,523
<font color="

116
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,765
Seriously.

117
00:06:41,765 --> 00:06:43,085
Life's short.

118
00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:47,043
You deserve something nice.

119
00:06:47,045 --> 00:06:48,965
You're a nice person.

120
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,323
Dad?

121
00:07:11,325 --> 00:07:13,043
Hmm?

122
00:07:13,045 --> 00:07:15,925
You all right? Mmm. Yeah.

123
00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:18,723
Sitting in the dark.

124
00:07:18,725 --> 00:07:19,963
Cool.

125
00:07:19,965 --> 00:07:21,565
<font color="

126
00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:26,483
What would you think about...

127
00:07:26,485 --> 00:07:28,003
..if I got married again?

128
00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:29,123
Who to?

129
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:30,603
Well, Judith, of course.

130
00:07:30,605 --> 00:07:31,965
HE GIGGLES

131
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:36,123
You don't like her.

132
00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:37,603
How do you mean?

133
00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:38,683
She doesn't like you.

134
00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:40,923
In what way?
<font color="

135
00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:42,323
Oh, I see.

136
00:07:42,325 --> 00:07:43,923
Well, yes.

137
00:07:43,925 --> 00:07:49,843
I realise that's...an impression we
may have cultivated.

138
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,685
I've always found it convincing.

139
00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:54,403
The thing is,

140
00:07:54,405 --> 00:07:55,965
I don't want to hurt her.

141
00:07:57,365 --> 00:07:58,565
No.

142
00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:01,125
Yeah. Yeah. Right.

143
00:08:05,165 --> 00:08:09,563
<font color="
upstairs, so...

144
00:08:09,565 --> 00:08:12,285
I'm just going to... Sure.

145
00:08:36,805 --> 00:08:38,723
So I thought I'd jump in
the Me

146
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:42,085
with you and Flora, and Ted can
travel in the Lexus with Alan.

147
00:08:43,325 --> 00:08:45,083
We'll need the Jag, anyway, for
<font color="

148
00:08:45,085 --> 00:08:47,563
by the sound of things. Right.

149
00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:51,325
Are you feeding the 5,000? No.

150
00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:55,163
Got someone coming? Possibly.

151
00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:57,483
Well, shall I set off, then,
if you're going together?

152
00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:59,243
Do you know,
<font color="

153
00:08:59,245 --> 00:09:00,645
Yeah, that's what I said.

154
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:11,883
I just wanted five minutes
with you. Why?

155
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,363
I think he's fed up with me.
Alan? Why?

156
00:09:15,365 --> 00:09:17,723
Well, why has he applied
for this job?

157
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:20,643
"To get out of the house,"
<font color="

158
00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:22,523
"To see a few new faces."

159
00:09:22,525 --> 00:09:24,165
Well, that's...

160
00:09:25,325 --> 00:09:29,683
Doesn't mean he's fed up of you.
Well, if he was happy at home,

161
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:32,803
he wouldn't think of applying
for a job, would he?

162
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,043
You know, it isn't as if he
<font color="

163
00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:37,523
Yeah, but you don't want to be

164
00:09:37,525 --> 00:09:41,323
in each other's pockets all day,
do you? Do you?

165
00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:44,723
And then this business last
night with bloody Gillian.

166
00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:46,043
Shh! Just...

167
00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:47,563
Oh...

168
00:09:47,565 --> 00:09:48,885
<font color="

169
00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:08,723
There. Look.

170
00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:12,083
Great! Hello, love.

171
00:10:12,085 --> 00:10:13,403
Hello.

172
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,443
Hey, you beat me!

173
00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:17,003
Hmm. Looks like he's landed,
if he's on it.

174
00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:19,843
He'll have security to get
<font color="

175
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:22,283
and can't walk so fast, so he's
going to be, what,

176
00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:23,723
20 minutes? Ah.

177
00:10:23,725 --> 00:10:26,005
Can I go and look in that shop?
Stay where I can see you.

178
00:10:29,605 --> 00:10:31,965
Can I have some money?
No, you can window-shop.

179
00:10:33,085 --> 00:10:34,643
<font color="

180
00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:38,443
Have you seen Celia,
and Caroline? Not yet.

181
00:10:38,445 --> 00:10:42,803
Everything all right at home
last night when you got back?

182
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,163
Yeah!

183
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,565
Yeah. Yeah.

184
00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:49,883
HE SIGHS
I should've talked to her

185
00:10:49,885 --> 00:10:53,603
<font color="
over, and then...

186
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:56,443
Yeah. Well... I'm sorry.

187
00:10:56,445 --> 00:11:00,123
It's fine. Here, happen I could give
you a bit of something towards it,

188
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:04,123
at least, and not tell Celia.
No. No, I'm not having that.

189
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,283
<font color="
everyone, and you end up
pleasing nobody!

190
00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:09,923
Presumably Celia's happy now?
HE SIGHS

191
00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:12,605
Which is fine. It's fine. Hey!

192
00:11:17,525 --> 00:11:19,003
Ey-up, they're here.

193
00:11:19,005 --> 00:11:20,163
Yeah.

194
00:11:20,165 --> 00:11:23,363
Long time no see!
<font color="

195
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:25,003
They're great chums,
them two, aren't they, hey?

196
00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:28,003
They never stop chatting when we
pick 'em up from school.

197
00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:29,203
Yeah, they love each other.

198
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:31,203
She's a nice little kid, Flora.

199
00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:33,163
Yeah.

200
00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:35,445
<font color="

201
00:11:36,685 --> 00:11:37,885
Hopefully.

202
00:12:00,045 --> 00:12:03,965
I'm going feeding chickens!
Right!

203
00:12:37,765 --> 00:12:39,445
Ohh...

204
00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:52,085
Fuck...off!

205
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,765
PHONE RINGS

206
00:12:58,605 --> 00:13:00,283
Hiya.

207
00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:03,723
You need to come and look at this.
Why, what's up?

208
00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:05,405
<font color="

209
00:13:08,565 --> 00:13:11,045
Are you smoking? No.

210
00:13:12,485 --> 00:13:15,603
You were, you were smoking!

211
00:13:15,605 --> 00:13:18,683
You know, I'm not stupid,
I'm not blind.

212
00:13:18,685 --> 00:13:20,923
This is that Leah
you're always on about!

213
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,323
When we went out for that drink
<font color="

214
00:13:23,325 --> 00:13:26,363
she were never inside the pub!
Always standing outside

215
00:13:26,365 --> 00:13:28,403
in the rain cracking her baccy
open!

216
00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:31,645
This is just so typical of you,
this is. You're just so...

217
00:13:35,085 --> 00:13:37,925
Oh, my actual God.

218
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:45,403
Who did you say you'd got
<font color="

219
00:13:45,405 --> 00:13:47,083
I didn't,

220
00:13:47,085 --> 00:13:49,565
cos I don't want any
comments or opinions.

221
00:13:52,605 --> 00:13:54,045
Is that Ted?

222
00:13:55,245 --> 00:13:56,283
Ted!

223
00:13:56,285 --> 00:13:59,603
Ah! Here we are! Thanks,
love, that'll do.

224
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,603
Are you all right? Yes.

225
00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:03,683
<font color="
No, we borrowed it.

226
00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:05,443
We just saw it down there.

227
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,243
I think it belongs to the airline.

228
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,763
Either that, or there's someone
down there struggling.

229
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,003
BOTH CHUCKLE

230
00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:14,683
How are we all? Hello, hello,
hello! Look at you!

231
00:14:14,685 --> 00:14:16,843
<font color="

232
00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:20,203
Gillian!
Oh, Ted, hello. Mwah.

233
00:14:20,205 --> 00:14:22,403
And Caroline! Hello, Ted.

234
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,283
Hello, love. Aw.

235
00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:27,483
And, er, who're these young
ladies?

236
00:14:27,485 --> 00:14:30,923
This is Calamity - Emily -
and this is Flora.

237
00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:32,443
<font color="

238
00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:34,163
I'm... I'm lovely!

239
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,443
Oh, yeah, this is, er... Mia.

240
00:14:36,445 --> 00:14:38,123
Mia! Duck, is... Alyssa.

241
00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:39,443
And Alyssa.

242
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,803
Hi. We chummed up in Hong Kong.

243
00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:44,363
He's so lovely! We love him.

244
00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:47,643
<font color="
I said we'd give them a lift.

245
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:50,363
You have brought the Land Rover,
haven't you? Yeah! Yeah!

246
00:14:50,365 --> 00:14:53,443
Aw! Uncle Ted!

247
00:14:53,445 --> 00:14:55,483
Where are you going, exactly?

248
00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:57,003
Where do you want a lift to?

249
00:14:57,005 --> 00:14:58,483
Anywhere! Wherever you're going.

250
00:14:58,485 --> 00:15:01,083
<font color="
of nights, couldn't we?

251
00:15:01,085 --> 00:15:03,043
Yeah! Yeah!

252
00:15:03,045 --> 00:15:06,763
Till they've got their bearings.
Yeah, if...

253
00:15:06,765 --> 00:15:09,163
Er, yeah.
We're no trouble.

254
00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:11,963
We can sleep anywhere.
We could sleep in a ditch.

255
00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:14,645
<font color="
If we had to.

256
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:23,243
See you later.
See you later!

257
00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:25,323
So...I'm confused.

258
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:29,083
So I'm taking Ted's...everything
and the kitchen sink

259
00:15:29,085 --> 00:15:32,043
in my car with Mia and Alyssa,

260
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:33,883
but you're taking their backpacks

261
00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:35,723
<font color="
Right.

262
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:37,403
Then I'll collect Flora
from you later,

263
00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:38,603
when I've got five minutes.

264
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,925
And where are the Kiwis
going to?

265
00:15:42,285 --> 00:15:44,323
Well, I have no idea. I know they're
not staying with me,

266
00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:45,403
<font color="

267
00:15:45,405 --> 00:15:47,203
I would have them,
only we've no spare bedrooms.

268
00:15:47,205 --> 00:15:49,443
So, what am I doing with
their backpacks?

269
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:51,123
Well, I'd drop them round at
my mum and your dad's.

270
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:52,805
That's where I'm intending to
drop them.

271
00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:56,845
<font color="
there. I'll see you somewhere.

272
00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:11,603
GIRLS GIGGLE

273
00:16:11,605 --> 00:16:13,283
PHONE RINGS
Hello!

274
00:16:13,285 --> 00:16:16,243
You know when you set off
to the airport?

275
00:16:16,245 --> 00:16:17,803
Yeah.

276
00:16:17,805 --> 00:16:20,043
As you were driving away
<font color="

277
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,523
did you not look in
your rear-view mirror at all?

278
00:16:22,525 --> 00:16:25,323
Why? What for?
You didn't notice

279
00:16:25,325 --> 00:16:29,443
anything...unusual about
the barn?

280
00:16:29,445 --> 00:16:30,923
The barn?

281
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:33,123
No. OK.

282
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,843
Why?

283
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:38,243
<font color="

284
00:16:38,245 --> 00:16:41,723
see if you can spot anything.

285
00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,443
See if anything catches your eye.

286
00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:46,365
Am I getting any clues?
No. No, I'll, er...

287
00:16:47,605 --> 00:16:49,363
I'll leave it with you.

288
00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:50,965
What are you on about?

289
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:01,045
You do realise this could be worth
<font color="

290
00:17:03,765 --> 00:17:05,163
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

291
00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:07,963
I've no idea who they are,
them two lasses.

292
00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:11,083
They just latched on to me
in Hong Kong.

293
00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:12,885
But they're pleasant enough.

294
00:17:14,485 --> 00:17:16,963
Although one of them talks all
the time.

295
00:17:16,965 --> 00:17:19,483
<font color="
And the other one's a bit quiet.

296
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:21,283
But they...

297
00:17:21,285 --> 00:17:22,965
They were very helpful.

298
00:17:24,685 --> 00:17:26,043
Let's go for a pint!

299
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,403
A pint? Sure!

300
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:30,683
Shall we call the others
to come and join us?

301
00:17:30,685 --> 00:17:32,363
No. Just you and me.

302
00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:34,403
Somewhere nice.

303
00:17:34,405 --> 00:17:36,085
<font color="

304
00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:38,725
Sure.

305
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,123
Is this near Scotland?

306
00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:57,805
Well...relative to New Zealand
it is, yeah.

307
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:00,563
What?

308
00:18:00,565 --> 00:18:03,723
You can probably get to
Edinburgh from Leeds

309
00:18:03,725 --> 00:18:05,123
in a couple of hours on a train.

310
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,443
<font color="
if you want, at the station.

311
00:18:08,445 --> 00:18:09,963
They haven't got their bags.

312
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:13,203
Well, whose bloody idea was that?

313
00:18:13,205 --> 00:18:14,763
Logistics!

314
00:18:14,765 --> 00:18:16,603
You saw how full the boot was.

315
00:18:16,605 --> 00:18:18,203
Oh, we'll do here first!

316
00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:21,043
What are the top five things to
<font color="

317
00:18:21,045 --> 00:18:23,403
Like...in a cultural way.
Oh! Well...

318
00:18:23,405 --> 00:18:27,723
You know what we're world
famous for round by us?

319
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:30,205
What? The Bronte sisters.

320
00:18:32,205 --> 00:18:33,563
Are they...?

321
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:35,003
Is that...?

322
00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,923
<font color="

323
00:18:36,925 --> 00:18:39,523
Oh, the Bronte sisters!

324
00:18:39,525 --> 00:18:41,723
You know, they wrote novels...

325
00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:46,163
..walking round a table
at the parsonage in Haworth.

326
00:18:46,165 --> 00:18:49,643
The Bronte sisters.
Charlotte and Emily and...

327
00:18:49,645 --> 00:18:51,083
..the other one.

328
00:18:51,085 --> 00:18:53,403
<font color="
No, he was the brother.

329
00:18:53,405 --> 00:18:56,203
Yes, I know he was the brother.
You've heard of them?

330
00:18:56,205 --> 00:18:58,843
They wrote Jane Eyre
and Wuthering Heights

331
00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:00,683
before they died.

332
00:19:00,685 --> 00:19:02,883
What else did they write?

333
00:19:02,885 --> 00:19:05,243
The Turn Of The Shrew...Screw.

334
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,043
<font color="

335
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,683
The Taming Of The...
The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall.

336
00:19:09,685 --> 00:19:12,443
No, that's that other one.
The other fella.

337
00:19:12,445 --> 00:19:13,563
What other fella?

338
00:19:13,565 --> 00:19:15,563
The Woman In White.

339
00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:17,003
No, that's Wilkie Collins.

340
00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:18,763
What is?
<font color="

341
00:19:18,765 --> 00:19:21,643
Well, who am I thinking
about, then? Which one?

342
00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:24,843
Which fella wrote that other
one? That other one I said.

343
00:19:24,845 --> 00:19:26,323
The Taming Of The Shrew
is Shakespeare.

344
00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:28,603
The Turn Of The Screw is
<font color="

345
00:19:28,605 --> 00:19:30,443
Henry...

346
00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:32,683
What's his name?
He's really famous.

347
00:19:32,685 --> 00:19:34,963
The Bostonians,
Washington Square.

348
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,123
What's his...? Henry...
VIII?

349
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:39,563
James!

350
00:19:39,565 --> 00:19:41,045
It's Henry James!

351
00:19:42,325 --> 00:19:45,283
You can't not have
<font color="

352
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,445
even in New Zealand.

353
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:35,485
It's good, innit?

354
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,963
Oh, I dream about this.

355
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:51,525
There you go.

356
00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:55,443
It's what gets me to sleep at
night.

357
00:20:55,445 --> 00:20:56,963
A Yorkshire pint

358
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,323
in a Yorkshire pub

359
00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,603
<font color="

360
00:20:59,605 --> 00:21:00,885
BOTH: Cheers.

361
00:21:03,565 --> 00:21:05,643
You know we've been worried
about you, don't you?

362
00:21:05,645 --> 00:21:08,683
Nadine rang.
Oh, bugger Nadine!

363
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,923
She's a bloody nuisance.
Oh, is she?

364
00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:12,323
And she tells lies.

365
00:21:12,325 --> 00:21:13,763
<font color="

366
00:21:13,765 --> 00:21:15,443
She said you'd sold the house.

367
00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:18,243
What else did she tell you?
Well, just that.

368
00:21:18,245 --> 00:21:23,323
Well, that you'd, er,
fallen out with 'em all.

369
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,283
She didn't say why.

370
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,683
PHONE BEEPS

371
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,603
Ooh.

372
00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:32,883
Oh! Well, there you go.
<font color="

373
00:21:32,885 --> 00:21:35,203
Yeah...
My interview was successful.

374
00:21:35,205 --> 00:21:36,963
Doing what?

375
00:21:36,965 --> 00:21:40,243
I've got to go on an induction
course.

376
00:21:40,245 --> 00:21:42,443
Monday morning, 9am.

377
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,405
Four hours!

378
00:21:45,685 --> 00:21:49,123
Smart, comfortable clothes,
<font color="

379
00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:51,843
Um, checkout assistant

380
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,563
in, um, a supermarket.

381
00:21:53,565 --> 00:21:55,443
What are you doing that for?

382
00:21:55,445 --> 00:21:58,923
Then I go straight on to a shift
in the afternoon. Hmm?

383
00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:00,325
Fun.

384
00:22:01,725 --> 00:22:03,083
We must get some champagne!

385
00:22:03,085 --> 00:22:05,443
<font color="
stop off somewhere,

386
00:22:05,445 --> 00:22:07,203
buy some champagne to celebrate.

387
00:22:07,205 --> 00:22:08,563
My new job?

388
00:22:08,565 --> 00:22:10,883
No, not your bloody job!

389
00:22:10,885 --> 00:22:14,563
What do you need a bloody
job for at your age? No.

390
00:22:14,565 --> 00:22:16,245
Me being here!

391
00:22:17,765 --> 00:22:20,483
Duck, er, Bovril!

392
00:22:20,485 --> 00:22:23,043
<font color="
We must get some Bovril.

393
00:22:23,045 --> 00:22:25,283
You can't get Bovril
in New Zealand.

394
00:22:25,285 --> 00:22:26,565
Oh.

395
00:22:29,045 --> 00:22:32,883
So, what did you all fall out
about?

396
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,643
Oh, it's long and boring.

397
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:37,043
I'm not going anywhere.

398
00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:39,163
Well, you know what kids are
<font color="

399
00:22:39,165 --> 00:22:41,563
Always looking for hand-outs,

400
00:22:41,565 --> 00:22:43,325
even when they're in their 50s.

401
00:22:44,925 --> 00:22:47,723
So I've... I've told them all,
they can...

402
00:22:47,725 --> 00:22:49,603
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
..do one.

403
00:22:49,605 --> 00:22:50,803
Oh...

404
00:22:50,805 --> 00:22:53,483
They didn't even know
you were on a plane.

405
00:22:53,485 --> 00:22:54,563
<font color="

406
00:22:54,565 --> 00:22:55,843
Well...

407
00:22:55,845 --> 00:22:58,885
..happen it'll make them
think. Hmm.

408
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:04,443
You're not short of money,
are you? Me?

409
00:23:04,445 --> 00:23:08,645
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, no, no!

410
00:23:10,085 --> 00:23:11,725
I'm glad to hear it.

411
00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:23,523
<font color="

412
00:23:23,525 --> 00:23:24,723
What is that?

413
00:23:24,725 --> 00:23:26,403
It's a giraffe!

414
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,203
I'm screaming!

415
00:23:28,205 --> 00:23:30,803
BOTH SCREAM
She's screaming!

416
00:23:30,805 --> 00:23:32,963
We're screaming!

417
00:23:32,965 --> 00:23:35,563
GIRLS SCREAM
How did it get there?

418
00:23:35,565 --> 00:23:37,603
<font color="
What is it?

419
00:23:37,605 --> 00:23:39,125
GIRLS SCREAM

420
00:23:44,245 --> 00:23:46,883
How could you not see it
when you left?

421
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:49,683
I...I might not always be
looking in my mirrors.

422
00:23:49,685 --> 00:23:51,163
I might be looking
in the direction of travel,

423
00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:54,283
<font color="
manner. It's a Banksy.

424
00:23:54,285 --> 00:23:55,483
I can...

425
00:23:55,485 --> 00:23:56,965
I can see...

426
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:01,803
How did...?

427
00:24:01,805 --> 00:24:03,643
It wasn't there yesterday.

428
00:24:03,645 --> 00:24:05,803
It definitely wasn't there
yesterday,

429
00:24:05,805 --> 00:24:07,603
because I walked down here,

430
00:24:07,605 --> 00:24:10,283
<font color="
last night for supper!

431
00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:13,523
They'd all have seen it.
Somebody would have seen that!

432
00:24:13,525 --> 00:24:16,803
Well, he must've done it in the
night. I mean, that's what he does!

433
00:24:16,805 --> 00:24:17,965
Like, by stealth!

434
00:24:19,245 --> 00:24:21,645
It'll be worth millions.

435
00:24:30,645 --> 00:24:33,443
<font color="

436
00:24:33,445 --> 00:24:36,523
No. I haven't. I've got one guest
bedroom, the same as you.

437
00:24:36,525 --> 00:24:38,123
You've got two, in fact.

438
00:24:38,125 --> 00:24:40,283
But Ted's in one of them!

439
00:24:40,285 --> 00:24:43,803
They can share, they're kids.
I'm sorry.

440
00:24:43,805 --> 00:24:47,563
Gillian's dropped your bags
<font color="

441
00:24:47,565 --> 00:24:51,243
Where are Alan and Ted? I thought
they'd be back sooner than us.

442
00:24:51,245 --> 00:24:54,283
Right...I'm off.

443
00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:57,283
You're better with younger
people than me.

444
00:24:57,285 --> 00:24:59,803
You're used to them.
You know how to talk to them!

445
00:24:59,805 --> 00:25:01,843
<font color="

446
00:25:01,845 --> 00:25:03,923
Yes, but... No!

447
00:25:03,925 --> 00:25:06,563
So, are we staying here,
Celia, or...?

448
00:25:06,565 --> 00:25:09,643
Well, Caroline's got more
room than me, really.

449
00:25:09,645 --> 00:25:12,163
You know, I'd be delighted
any other time,

450
00:25:12,165 --> 00:25:14,243
<font color="
coming this evening

451
00:25:14,245 --> 00:25:15,483
and I still haven't started
cooking,

452
00:25:15,485 --> 00:25:17,683
then I've got to collect Flora
from...

453
00:25:17,685 --> 00:25:20,403
PHONE RINGS, SHE SIGHS

454
00:25:20,405 --> 00:25:22,123
Gillian, hello.

455
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:23,563
Where are you? Yeah, I'm coming.

456
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,883
<font color="

457
00:25:24,885 --> 00:25:26,165
I...

458
00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:28,483
..need you.

459
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:29,963
Oh.

460
00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:31,205
OK.

461
00:25:32,285 --> 00:25:33,525
I'll be ten minutes.

462
00:25:36,605 --> 00:25:39,203
Right! I'm off.

463
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,403
Good luck!

464
00:25:41,405 --> 00:25:43,243
Have fun. I'll, erm...

465
00:25:43,245 --> 00:25:44,805
..tomorrow!

466
00:25:49,285 --> 00:25:50,725
Right.

467
00:25:52,925 --> 00:25:56,083
<font color="
by the way?

468
00:25:56,085 --> 00:25:59,163
What? Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah,
that's it.

469
00:25:59,165 --> 00:26:01,363
That's what I wanted to talk to
you about.

470
00:26:01,365 --> 00:26:02,723
I'm not going back.

471
00:26:02,725 --> 00:26:05,483
I bought a one-way ticket.

472
00:26:05,485 --> 00:26:06,843
Have you told anyone?

473
00:26:06,845 --> 00:26:09,483
<font color="

474
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:11,403
I thought it was you!

475
00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:12,845
How did you get on with the lad?

476
00:26:13,885 --> 00:26:15,803
Oh, him. Yeah. Yeah.

477
00:26:15,805 --> 00:26:17,443
He ran off.

478
00:26:17,445 --> 00:26:19,403
I said he would.
I told you not to bother.

479
00:26:19,405 --> 00:26:20,923
I knocked on a door.

480
00:26:20,925 --> 00:26:22,483
He said it was where he lived.

481
00:26:22,485 --> 00:26:24,243
<font color="

482
00:26:24,245 --> 00:26:26,723
Oh, this little kiddy.

483
00:26:26,725 --> 00:26:28,403
Shoplifting.

484
00:26:28,405 --> 00:26:29,923
The day I came for my interview.

485
00:26:29,925 --> 00:26:33,043
He's feral. Oh... No, seriously.

486
00:26:33,045 --> 00:26:35,483
Lives in a foster home up
Norland - he's supposed to -

487
00:26:35,485 --> 00:26:37,763
<font color="
lives in folk's sheds.

488
00:26:37,765 --> 00:26:39,763
Oh... No, I'm serious.

489
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,563
They keep copping him, taking him
back and then he'll run off again.

490
00:26:41,565 --> 00:26:43,285
Good for him. It's what I'd do.

491
00:26:44,485 --> 00:26:48,363
My brother. Ted. He's just
flown in from New Zealand.

492
00:26:48,365 --> 00:26:50,683
<font color="

493
00:26:50,685 --> 00:26:52,323
He works here.

494
00:26:52,325 --> 00:26:53,683
How do?

495
00:26:53,685 --> 00:26:56,643
Well, did you get your tetanus?

496
00:26:56,645 --> 00:26:58,243
Nah. Didn't break the skin.

497
00:26:58,245 --> 00:27:01,163
Oh... I'm starting - Monday.

498
00:27:01,165 --> 00:27:02,323
Ah!

499
00:27:02,325 --> 00:27:05,403
I've got my induction day.
Well, very good.

500
00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:08,165
<font color="
then. Aye. Keep smiling.

501
00:27:09,645 --> 00:27:12,563
When you say you're stopping,
what do...what do you...

502
00:27:12,565 --> 00:27:14,203
Oh-ho! ..mean?

503
00:27:14,205 --> 00:27:15,723
85 quid!
HE CHUCKLES

504
00:27:15,725 --> 00:27:17,363
Must be good stuff.

505
00:27:17,365 --> 00:27:19,723
<font color="

506
00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:24,163
I mean, I was born here
and I shall die here.

507
00:27:24,165 --> 00:27:27,405
I'm going to get some flowers
for Celia.

508
00:27:29,645 --> 00:27:30,765
HE SIGHS

509
00:27:32,885 --> 00:27:35,203
Look, I've said I'm sorry,
and I am sorry!

510
00:27:35,205 --> 00:27:37,643
I just thought it would be a
<font color="

511
00:27:37,645 --> 00:27:39,283
to waste a good black eye,
that's all.

512
00:27:39,285 --> 00:27:41,923
So what? Oh, come on,
Angus baby, I need you

513
00:27:41,925 --> 00:27:44,403
to do this thing over at Gillian's.
You'll have to give me some

514
00:27:44,405 --> 00:27:46,523
petrol money if we're going all
<font color="

515
00:27:46,525 --> 00:27:48,605
Yeah, surely will.

516
00:27:53,285 --> 00:27:54,443
Crap.

517
00:27:54,445 --> 00:27:56,083
How much do you want?

518
00:27:56,085 --> 00:27:57,323
30.

519
00:27:57,325 --> 00:27:59,325
WATER BUBBLES

520
00:28:09,605 --> 00:28:11,205
RINGING TONE

521
00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:16,043
John! Caroline! Hi.

522
00:28:16,045 --> 00:28:17,283
Hi. How are you?

523
00:28:17,285 --> 00:28:19,443
I'm fine. How are you?
<font color="

524
00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:23,123
I just wanted to say thank you
for dinner again

525
00:28:23,125 --> 00:28:26,683
the other night. It was...
Well, it was delightful,

526
00:28:26,685 --> 00:28:29,563
not having seen you for so
long. What can I do for you?

527
00:28:29,565 --> 00:28:31,485
Oh, just...

528
00:28:33,085 --> 00:28:34,803
<font color="

529
00:28:34,805 --> 00:28:36,005
Oh, shit!

530
00:28:37,325 --> 00:28:41,483
Are you going to?
Can I come over? Why? To talk.

531
00:28:41,485 --> 00:28:44,363
Not today, no,
I'm just collecting Flora,

532
00:28:44,365 --> 00:28:46,403
and then I've got someone
<font color="

533
00:28:46,405 --> 00:28:48,603
No-one. It's just my head of
English.

534
00:28:48,605 --> 00:28:49,763
Is he...?

535
00:28:49,765 --> 00:28:51,283
Is he...

536
00:28:51,285 --> 00:28:52,803
..a woman?

537
00:28:52,805 --> 00:28:55,163
Yeah. Yeah, he is. A woman.

538
00:28:55,165 --> 00:28:56,485
Yup.

539
00:28:58,085 --> 00:29:00,403
I don't want to marry her.

540
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,843
<font color="

541
00:29:01,845 --> 00:29:03,803
No. Do you?

542
00:29:03,805 --> 00:29:05,683
No, but it's none of my
business, so there you go.

543
00:29:05,685 --> 00:29:07,523
Thing is...

544
00:29:07,525 --> 00:29:08,883
..I said yes.

545
00:29:08,885 --> 00:29:10,123
OK.

546
00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:11,243
It was...

547
00:29:11,245 --> 00:29:13,243
Well, it was awkward.
<font color="

548
00:29:13,245 --> 00:29:14,723
I should've done, but I didn't.

549
00:29:14,725 --> 00:29:17,403
And I couldn't say,
"Can I think about it?"

550
00:29:17,405 --> 00:29:19,083
because that sounds like no.

551
00:29:19,085 --> 00:29:20,365
And you see...

552
00:29:21,485 --> 00:29:22,843
..she's...

553
00:29:22,845 --> 00:29:27,403
It's her health, her mental health,
it's so delicate,

554
00:29:27,405 --> 00:29:30,403
<font color="
to fall off the wagon again.

555
00:29:30,405 --> 00:29:31,963
I just...

556
00:29:31,965 --> 00:29:33,523
..don't want to marry her.

557
00:29:33,525 --> 00:29:35,043
Well, no. No. No!

558
00:29:35,045 --> 00:29:37,323
So this person you're seeing,

559
00:29:37,325 --> 00:29:39,043
this head of English,

560
00:29:39,045 --> 00:29:42,603
is she...? Is that...?
Are you...?

561
00:29:42,605 --> 00:29:44,163
<font color="

562
00:29:44,165 --> 00:29:45,883
We're just, um...

563
00:29:45,885 --> 00:29:47,243
Yeah.

564
00:29:47,245 --> 00:29:49,443
I mean, she's...she's... Yeah.

565
00:29:49,445 --> 00:29:52,243
But no. It's not... She's not...

566
00:29:52,245 --> 00:29:55,243
I wish I was still married to
you. There! I've said it.

567
00:29:55,245 --> 00:29:56,603
It's out there.

568
00:29:56,605 --> 00:29:58,083
Hmm.

569
00:29:58,085 --> 00:29:59,923
<font color="

570
00:29:59,925 --> 00:30:01,923
Jesus Christ!

571
00:30:01,925 --> 00:30:05,523
I know! I know, I know, I get that
completely,

572
00:30:05,525 --> 00:30:08,763
but, look, I don't think you can
be completely gay

573
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:13,603
because we had such a good life
together. We get each other.

574
00:30:13,605 --> 00:30:15,643
We're on the same wavelength.
<font color="

575
00:30:15,645 --> 00:30:18,123
John... ..so shallow and
empty and dull...

576
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:20,763
John! ..compared to you!
John, I'm going to have to go.

577
00:30:20,765 --> 00:30:22,003
Why? No, don't.

578
00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:25,003
I-I-I talk too much, I know.
I'm sorry. I...

579
00:30:25,005 --> 00:30:26,723
<font color="

580
00:30:26,725 --> 00:30:28,003
When?

581
00:30:28,005 --> 00:30:30,683
Then, just then, all that.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.

582
00:30:30,685 --> 00:30:32,043
Well, I...

583
00:30:32,045 --> 00:30:33,403
Can I ring you back?

584
00:30:33,405 --> 00:30:35,563
Yes! Yes, sure. When?

585
00:30:35,565 --> 00:30:37,203
It might not be today.

586
00:30:37,205 --> 00:30:38,645
CALL ENDS

587
00:30:42,125 --> 00:30:43,685
Well, that went well.

588
00:30:47,925 --> 00:30:49,363
<font color="

589
00:30:49,365 --> 00:30:51,323
Why's your mum so weird
about the barn?

590
00:30:51,325 --> 00:30:54,483
She should be laughing her
socks off, and look at her.

591
00:30:54,485 --> 00:30:55,645
Oh...

592
00:30:56,845 --> 00:30:59,523
It's cos it's where me dad
killed himself.

593
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:01,245
Oh, God.

594
00:31:02,685 --> 00:31:05,485
I... I didn't know
<font color="

595
00:31:07,085 --> 00:31:08,805
Sorry.

596
00:31:17,005 --> 00:31:19,405
Oh...

597
00:31:20,805 --> 00:31:22,803
Is it real?

598
00:31:22,805 --> 00:31:24,283
People are going to come
gawping, aren't they?

599
00:31:24,285 --> 00:31:25,803
They're going
to come poking about.

600
00:31:25,805 --> 00:31:27,483
It's going to be on
the f-f...news,

601
00:31:27,485 --> 00:31:30,523
<font color="
not. And what does it even mean?

602
00:31:30,525 --> 00:31:32,043
Giraffe?

603
00:31:32,045 --> 00:31:33,443
Giraffe!

604
00:31:33,445 --> 00:31:35,763
On a barn. On a farm?

605
00:31:35,765 --> 00:31:37,563
What? What?

606
00:31:37,565 --> 00:31:39,843
Oh, it'll be a metaphor.
For what?

607
00:31:39,845 --> 00:31:42,843
Well, it's something about the
<font color="

608
00:31:42,845 --> 00:31:44,843
or...or...in the modern world,

609
00:31:44,845 --> 00:31:47,883
or the exploitation of...
I'm organic! Nearly.

610
00:31:47,885 --> 00:31:50,443
I'm nice! My sheep are happy!
Ask them!

611
00:31:50,445 --> 00:31:52,123
I'm not exploiting anybody!

612
00:31:52,125 --> 00:31:54,803
I ought to be ringing 99 f-f...9!

613
00:31:54,805 --> 00:31:57,603
<font color="
It can't be, can it? It's just...

614
00:31:57,605 --> 00:31:59,365
Yeah, well, do some research!

615
00:32:00,645 --> 00:32:03,645
This is vandalism!
Fucking painters!

616
00:32:05,085 --> 00:32:08,243
Well, David Hockney will be
at it next. Gauguin, one o' them.

617
00:32:08,245 --> 00:32:10,123
Cannelloni!
He can come and have a go.

618
00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:11,443
<font color="

619
00:32:11,445 --> 00:32:13,203
Any of 'em. Twats.

620
00:32:13,205 --> 00:32:15,803
They need to leave people alone.

621
00:32:15,805 --> 00:32:17,283
Look, it's not... It's not, um...

622
00:32:17,285 --> 00:32:19,363
I hate that barn! I know.

623
00:32:19,365 --> 00:32:21,483
It's alive - that barn
has a mind of its own.

624
00:32:21,485 --> 00:32:24,283
I've told you before. No.
<font color="

625
00:32:24,285 --> 00:32:26,323
Eddie, not Banksy.

626
00:32:26,325 --> 00:32:29,283
He's in there.
Look, this could be a blessing.

627
00:32:29,285 --> 00:32:32,323
I know it's weird, but it could be
worth a lot of money.

628
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,483
This could pay for your woodworm
and your roof timbers.

629
00:32:34,485 --> 00:32:37,043
<font color="
out of that barn, Caroline.

630
00:32:37,045 --> 00:32:39,605
Oh, you don't know that.
This could be a turning point.

631
00:32:42,565 --> 00:32:44,323
Listen, I can't stay,
I've got to start cooking.

632
00:32:44,325 --> 00:32:47,163
Oh, God, you've got
your girlfriend coming.

633
00:32:47,165 --> 00:32:48,923
<font color="
I know it stirs things up,

634
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:51,323
I know it does your head in,
but...

635
00:32:51,325 --> 00:32:52,763
..she's not my girlfriend.

636
00:32:52,765 --> 00:32:55,603
Flora! Come on!

637
00:32:55,605 --> 00:32:57,403
Bye. See you tomorrow!

638
00:32:57,405 --> 00:33:00,083
I'm at the end of the phone.
<font color="

639
00:33:00,085 --> 00:33:01,205
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

640
00:33:03,845 --> 00:33:05,323
How did they get up there?

641
00:33:05,325 --> 00:33:08,965
Bye. See you, Auntie Gillian.
Yeah.

642
00:33:11,765 --> 00:33:13,725
Yo.

643
00:33:16,125 --> 00:33:18,803
Lawrence! Is your m...?
Hi, Angus.

644
00:33:18,805 --> 00:33:19,963
Is your mother see...?

645
00:33:19,965 --> 00:33:21,563
<font color="
Can you lend me 30 squids?

646
00:33:21,565 --> 00:33:23,323
No, sorry. It's for petrol, please.

647
00:33:23,325 --> 00:33:25,445
Not got any cash on me, sorry.

648
00:33:27,885 --> 00:33:30,043
Sorry, just out of interest,

649
00:33:30,045 --> 00:33:31,723
is your mother seeing someone?

650
00:33:31,725 --> 00:33:33,245
No. Not that I know of.

651
00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:36,005
And anyway, what if she was?

652
00:33:48,605 --> 00:33:50,365
<font color="

653
00:33:51,925 --> 00:33:53,843
HE SNORES

654
00:33:53,845 --> 00:33:56,883
I was beginning to wonder
where the hell you'd got to!

655
00:33:56,885 --> 00:33:59,563
Well, yeah, he wanted a pint,

656
00:33:59,565 --> 00:34:01,443
and some Bovril, so...
HE CHUCKLES

657
00:34:01,445 --> 00:34:03,603
You have got a mobile phone.

658
00:34:03,605 --> 00:34:06,003
Yes. I never think.

659
00:34:06,005 --> 00:34:08,725
<font color="
Hmm? Cos I have.

660
00:34:09,845 --> 00:34:11,923
They're nurses, them two.

661
00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:13,803
So, not as daft as they look.

662
00:34:13,805 --> 00:34:16,083
Nurses? On holiday.

663
00:34:16,085 --> 00:34:18,125
They've taken three months
off to travel.

664
00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:22,203
And they did just bump into
<font color="

665
00:34:22,205 --> 00:34:24,963
but then they were having
to look after him.

666
00:34:24,965 --> 00:34:27,123
They reckon he'd been in a pickle

667
00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:29,643
trying to fathom Hong Kong on his
own.

668
00:34:29,645 --> 00:34:32,963
Anyway, I've said
they can stop a few nights,

669
00:34:32,965 --> 00:34:35,723
because they've obviously
<font color="

670
00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:39,723
But that's it. Then we've got Martin
starting on the kitchen next week.

671
00:34:39,725 --> 00:34:42,163
And I can't be doing
with a houseful.

672
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:44,963
Well, he says
he's not going back. Eh?

673
00:34:44,965 --> 00:34:48,363
Yeah, he says he's stopping.
<font color="

674
00:34:48,365 --> 00:34:51,083
Well, I assume he's going to
buy himself a little house.

675
00:34:51,085 --> 00:34:54,403
If it's going to be
a permanent arrangement.

676
00:34:54,405 --> 00:34:55,683
I mean, he can't be short,

677
00:34:55,685 --> 00:34:59,043
spending £85 on a bottle of
champagne.

678
00:34:59,045 --> 00:35:01,003
<font color="
stopping

679
00:35:01,005 --> 00:35:04,363
until he buys this little
house? Here?

680
00:35:04,365 --> 00:35:08,483
He sounds as if he's fallen out
with Nadine and everybody,

681
00:35:08,485 --> 00:35:11,843
cos they were tapping money off
him - trying to -

682
00:35:11,845 --> 00:35:13,443
<font color="

683
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,443
Well, where was he living
after he sold his house?

684
00:35:15,445 --> 00:35:16,483
With her.

685
00:35:16,485 --> 00:35:18,803
For a bit. Then I think he went
to their Simon

686
00:35:18,805 --> 00:35:21,763
for a month or two,
and then to one of the others.

687
00:35:21,765 --> 00:35:23,843
And then he rented a little flat.

688
00:35:23,845 --> 00:35:27,405
<font color="
house there? I don't know.

689
00:35:28,645 --> 00:35:34,723
He'll not want to be stopping here
for any length of time, surely.

690
00:35:34,725 --> 00:35:36,885
He's been over there too long,
surely.

691
00:35:37,925 --> 00:35:40,523
I mean, his life's there,
not here.

692
00:35:40,525 --> 00:35:42,003
<font color="

693
00:35:42,005 --> 00:35:45,483
He'll be thinking
that the grass is greener.

694
00:35:45,485 --> 00:35:48,003
Well, I think he'll be
disillusioned.

695
00:35:48,005 --> 00:35:51,365
He's brought Alice's ashes
back with him.

696
00:35:52,725 --> 00:35:56,165
Cor, she's been dead ten years.

697
00:35:57,205 --> 00:35:59,563
Has he not scattered 'em
<font color="

698
00:35:59,565 --> 00:36:02,523
He says she always wanted to come
back here, so he's brought her.

699
00:36:02,525 --> 00:36:06,043
He says he was born here,
and he'll die here.

700
00:36:06,045 --> 00:36:08,883
And then he wants him and
her to be buried together -

701
00:36:08,885 --> 00:36:11,923
their remains - up Blackley

702
00:36:11,925 --> 00:36:14,403
with me mum and dad,
<font color="

703
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,365
and her sister.

704
00:36:18,325 --> 00:36:20,643
Oh, and, erm...

705
00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:22,123
What?

706
00:36:22,125 --> 00:36:24,965
I know it's a sensitive subject.

707
00:36:26,645 --> 00:36:28,005
But I've been offered that job.

708
00:36:29,045 --> 00:36:30,605
I start on Monday.

709
00:36:32,325 --> 00:36:34,565
I'm saying nothing.

710
00:36:35,885 --> 00:36:37,325
CUTLERY RATTLES

711
00:36:42,725 --> 00:36:46,005
<font color="

712
00:36:49,565 --> 00:36:52,483
Ooh! It's the Mothership. I didn't
know you were coming!

713
00:36:52,485 --> 00:36:54,843
Yeah, cos I didn't ring an' tell
you, that's why.

714
00:36:54,845 --> 00:36:56,483
Love, light and peace.

715
00:36:56,485 --> 00:36:59,205
What's the matter with your
eye? Erm...

716
00:37:00,485 --> 00:37:01,963
<font color="

717
00:37:01,965 --> 00:37:04,123
Mm. Right, well, I've got someone

718
00:37:04,125 --> 00:37:05,643
coming round for dinner.
Smells good.

719
00:37:05,645 --> 00:37:07,203
Yeah, but the thing is, they'll be
here any minute, so...

720
00:37:07,205 --> 00:37:08,803
Oh, don't worry.
We're off over to Gillian's.

721
00:37:08,805 --> 00:37:09,923
We've got all the camping stuff.

722
00:37:09,925 --> 00:37:11,243
<font color="
howdy.

723
00:37:11,245 --> 00:37:14,203
Oh, well, that's very nice.
And can you lend me 30 quid?

724
00:37:14,205 --> 00:37:18,283
No, I can't. I've got no cash on
me. You people are useless.

725
00:37:18,285 --> 00:37:21,643
Hey! Hey, it's the little weirdo
<font color="

726
00:37:21,645 --> 00:37:25,363
Have you come to read to me? No.
Aw. I like it when you read to me.

727
00:37:25,365 --> 00:37:28,283
It's funnier than when
Mummy does it. Ah!

728
00:37:28,285 --> 00:37:29,643
Er, Ruth's here.

729
00:37:29,645 --> 00:37:33,483
What's he done to his face?
So, Ruth's here now.

730
00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:35,403
<font color="
with an orangutan.

731
00:37:35,405 --> 00:37:38,683
He didn't! Gillian's got a
giraffe! A what?

732
00:37:38,685 --> 00:37:40,485
A real one? Has she?

733
00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:47,003
Hi! Hi!

734
00:37:47,005 --> 00:37:48,363
Come in!

735
00:37:48,365 --> 00:37:49,923
Hi. Hi.

736
00:37:49,925 --> 00:37:51,203
Bye.

737
00:37:51,205 --> 00:37:53,285
<font color="

738
00:37:55,445 --> 00:37:57,763
So this is Lawrence,
my, erm, my...

739
00:37:57,765 --> 00:38:00,723
Well, he was my youngest
until Flora came along.

740
00:38:00,725 --> 00:38:02,763
And then I've got another one
in London. That's William.

741
00:38:02,765 --> 00:38:04,723
He works for a publisher,
he's 24.

742
00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,363
Nice.
<font color="

743
00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,723
And this is Ruth.

744
00:38:08,725 --> 00:38:11,565
And this is Angus. He's...

745
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:14,163
..got a black eye.

746
00:38:14,165 --> 00:38:16,125
And now they're off camping!

747
00:38:18,005 --> 00:38:20,523
See ya, boss.

748
00:38:20,525 --> 00:38:21,803
Bye.

749
00:38:21,805 --> 00:38:23,163
Bye, Mum. Bye.

750
00:38:23,165 --> 00:38:24,643
Bye. Bye, weirdo.

751
00:38:24,645 --> 00:38:25,843
<font color="

752
00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:27,763
No. A real giraffe?

753
00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:30,323
No, you'll see when you get
there. Have fun!

754
00:38:30,325 --> 00:38:31,883
And don't irritate Gillian!

755
00:38:31,885 --> 00:38:35,045
She's...not very happy about
the giraffe.

756
00:38:36,085 --> 00:38:38,403
Seriously, someone has a real...?
<font color="

757
00:38:38,405 --> 00:38:41,283
Actually, it's probably
not a Banksy.

758
00:38:41,285 --> 00:38:44,323
It's a painting, a mural that's
appeared on her barn wall.

759
00:38:44,325 --> 00:38:45,403
Wow.

760
00:38:45,405 --> 00:38:47,163
Won't be a real one. OK.

761
00:38:47,165 --> 00:38:49,605
Although it does look like one.

762
00:38:52,365 --> 00:38:53,683
These are for you.

763
00:38:53,685 --> 00:38:55,523
<font color="

764
00:38:55,525 --> 00:38:57,285
Thank you. Pleasure.

765
00:38:58,565 --> 00:39:00,325
So this is Flora?

766
00:39:01,445 --> 00:39:03,843
DOG WHIMPERS
But who's this?

767
00:39:03,845 --> 00:39:06,203
Ah, so that's...

768
00:39:06,205 --> 00:39:08,603
Ruth. Yes, that's...

769
00:39:08,605 --> 00:39:11,163
The dog's called Ruth, Ruth.

770
00:39:11,165 --> 00:39:12,403
Ruth?

771
00:39:12,405 --> 00:39:14,163
<font color="

772
00:39:14,165 --> 00:39:16,043
No.

773
00:39:16,045 --> 00:39:17,643
Erm...

774
00:39:17,645 --> 00:39:20,763
Listen, is it all right
if I leave my car here tonight

775
00:39:20,765 --> 00:39:24,845
and get a taxi home and then come
and pick it up tomorrow morning?

776
00:39:26,085 --> 00:39:28,083
It's just then I can have
a couple of glasses of wine

777
00:39:28,085 --> 00:39:30,083
<font color="

778
00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:33,003
Er, yeah, of course!

779
00:39:33,005 --> 00:39:35,965
You can stay over, if you like.
We've, erm...

780
00:39:37,645 --> 00:39:39,845
..plenty of room.

781
00:39:50,685 --> 00:39:55,963
Mm. Laura looked up
some wedding venues online.

782
00:39:55,965 --> 00:39:58,323
I mean, we could really go for
it if we wanted to.

783
00:39:58,325 --> 00:40:00,725
<font color="
the boat out.

784
00:40:01,925 --> 00:40:04,523
But I don't know that I wouldn't
like to just get married

785
00:40:04,525 --> 00:40:10,203
in some charmless, nondescript,
threadbare little registry office.

786
00:40:10,205 --> 00:40:11,245
Yes...

787
00:40:12,605 --> 00:40:14,363
Yes. Sure.

788
00:40:14,365 --> 00:40:15,883
Sure.

789
00:40:15,885 --> 00:40:20,443
<font color="
people to invite, is it?

790
00:40:20,445 --> 00:40:21,885
PHONE BEEPS

791
00:40:28,205 --> 00:40:29,563
What's that?

792
00:40:29,565 --> 00:40:30,605
Oh.

793
00:40:31,685 --> 00:40:32,845
Lawrence.

794
00:40:35,085 --> 00:40:39,243
I just think something small
and discreet

795
00:40:39,245 --> 00:40:41,285
and a bit shit is just...

796
00:40:42,325 --> 00:40:43,843
..more us.

797
00:40:43,845 --> 00:40:45,125
<font color="

798
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,085
Yeah.

799
00:40:51,445 --> 00:40:55,763
And this is LAADS riding through the
West Riding of Yorkshire,

800
00:40:55,765 --> 00:40:58,083
trying to find Granny's
little gaff.

801
00:40:58,085 --> 00:40:59,643
And what does Riding mean, Angus?

802
00:40:59,645 --> 00:41:01,803
Will you get that out of my
face when I'm concentrating?

803
00:41:01,805 --> 00:41:03,203
<font color="

804
00:41:03,205 --> 00:41:04,323
This is properly.

805
00:41:04,325 --> 00:41:06,443
Yeah, I need smooth. Whoa!

806
00:41:06,445 --> 00:41:09,323
You nearly went into the
signpost, you fuckin' idiot!

807
00:41:09,325 --> 00:41:10,883
Well, stop being a tit.

808
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:12,843
You're a tit. You're a tit.

809
00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:14,803
Which one is it?
<font color="

810
00:41:14,805 --> 00:41:16,723
House! Which house?
I don't know. It's the one

811
00:41:16,725 --> 00:41:17,883
with their car on the drive,

812
00:41:17,885 --> 00:41:20,123
I guess. Tell everyone
what Riding means, Angus.

813
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:22,483
A third. It means a third.

814
00:41:22,485 --> 00:41:24,323
North, East, West.

815
00:41:24,325 --> 00:41:26,045
No South.

816
00:41:27,165 --> 00:41:28,363
<font color="

817
00:41:28,365 --> 00:41:30,243
I don't care. It's not funny.

818
00:41:30,245 --> 00:41:31,363
Well, make it funny!

819
00:41:31,365 --> 00:41:33,283
It's not funny, it's not
interesting.

820
00:41:33,285 --> 00:41:35,083
West Riding.

821
00:41:35,085 --> 00:41:38,923
The West Riding of Yorkshire.
Oooh, it's this one!

822
00:41:38,925 --> 00:41:40,083
TYRES SQUEAL

823
00:41:40,085 --> 00:41:42,485
<font color="

824
00:41:45,605 --> 00:41:47,403
Did you get that,
did you film that?

825
00:41:47,405 --> 00:41:48,925
That was good.

826
00:41:50,285 --> 00:41:51,605
Piss.

827
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:56,923
CELIA: £30? Course you can,
chicken.

828
00:41:56,925 --> 00:41:58,525
Where have I put my purse?

829
00:42:03,805 --> 00:42:05,443
Well, where are you going
<font color="

830
00:42:05,445 --> 00:42:06,483
BOTH: Gillian's.

831
00:42:06,485 --> 00:42:07,525
Ah!

832
00:42:08,645 --> 00:42:10,483
There we are. Is that enough?

833
00:42:10,485 --> 00:42:12,203
Would you like a bit more?
No, Great.

834
00:42:12,205 --> 00:42:16,445
No, go on, then, just....
How big's your tint?

835
00:42:20,445 --> 00:42:24,203
Oh, our tent! Our tent is,
<font color="

836
00:42:24,205 --> 00:42:25,403
Big.

837
00:42:25,405 --> 00:42:27,365
It's big.

838
00:42:34,125 --> 00:42:37,603
My stars! Look at that!
What?

839
00:42:37,605 --> 00:42:38,763
Is that a what's-it?

840
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:40,883
A what?
A thingy! That bloke.

841
00:42:40,885 --> 00:42:43,203
Oh, my God! What? What are you
looking at?

842
00:42:43,205 --> 00:42:45,443
<font color="
Instagram.

843
00:42:45,445 --> 00:42:46,483
BRAKES ENGAGE

844
00:42:46,485 --> 00:42:49,243
MIA AND ALYSSA SCREAM
Eyes on the road!

845
00:42:49,245 --> 00:42:50,803
MIA AND ALYSSA LAUGH
CAMERA CLICKS

846
00:42:50,805 --> 00:42:52,963
And they were both 75?

847
00:42:52,965 --> 00:42:55,443
They hadn't seen each other
<font color="

848
00:42:55,445 --> 00:42:57,643
It was very romantic.

849
00:42:57,645 --> 00:42:59,563
Oh, there's hope for us all.

850
00:42:59,565 --> 00:43:01,243
Except the reality,

851
00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:02,963
when you haven't seen
anyone for that long,

852
00:43:02,965 --> 00:43:05,803
is that you don't really know
them. And what's become apparent

853
00:43:05,805 --> 00:43:07,203
<font color="

854
00:43:07,205 --> 00:43:09,683
views on things
sometimes and...

855
00:43:09,685 --> 00:43:11,363
Oh, I don't know.

856
00:43:11,365 --> 00:43:14,483
It was kind of funny to start
with, him with his Guardian

857
00:43:14,485 --> 00:43:16,723
and her with her Daily Mail.

858
00:43:16,725 --> 00:43:18,483
Can I...?

859
00:43:18,485 --> 00:43:20,003
Oh, sure, I'll get another one.

860
00:43:20,005 --> 00:43:21,923
<font color="

861
00:43:21,925 --> 00:43:24,803
So my mother is worried
that he's fed up with her.

862
00:43:24,805 --> 00:43:28,643
And I'm all,
"Oh, Alan? Surely not!"

863
00:43:28,645 --> 00:43:32,363
Because we've all bought into
how marvellous it all is

864
00:43:32,365 --> 00:43:34,963
that two elderly people can fall in
<font color="

865
00:43:34,965 --> 00:43:38,005
and yet the reality, seven
years on, is that...

866
00:43:39,205 --> 00:43:40,923
Well, for instance,

867
00:43:40,925 --> 00:43:42,683
he can't understand why anyone

868
00:43:42,685 --> 00:43:45,243
would want to spend £20,000 on
a new kitchen.

869
00:43:45,245 --> 00:43:46,763
And she can't understand

870
00:43:46,765 --> 00:43:50,483
why anyone would want to
<font color="

871
00:43:50,485 --> 00:43:52,883
Would you like to sit somewhere
more comfortable?

872
00:43:52,885 --> 00:43:54,165
Sure.

873
00:43:55,205 --> 00:43:57,843
But he goes along with it,
kind of because he has to,

874
00:43:57,845 --> 00:44:00,123
because - let's not mince words -

875
00:44:00,125 --> 00:44:03,683
she is a force to be reckoned
with, my mother.

876
00:44:03,685 --> 00:44:05,643
<font color="

877
00:44:05,645 --> 00:44:07,523
and he just looks...

878
00:44:07,525 --> 00:44:09,323
..bewildered

879
00:44:09,325 --> 00:44:11,603
and, erm...

880
00:44:11,605 --> 00:44:13,363
Oh, I don't know.

881
00:44:13,365 --> 00:44:15,685
Maybe sometimes he is fed
up of her.

882
00:44:22,365 --> 00:44:24,323
It'll be jet lag.

883
00:44:24,325 --> 00:44:26,363
Don't you think we should
wake him up

884
00:44:26,365 --> 00:44:27,883
<font color="

885
00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:30,243
I don't know -
he looks very comfortable.

886
00:44:30,245 --> 00:44:31,883
Does he know where his
bedroom is?

887
00:44:31,885 --> 00:44:33,923
Well, I showed him. Earlier.

888
00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:36,883
I don't want him waking in the
night, wondering where he is.

889
00:44:36,885 --> 00:44:38,683
Especially if he needs the
<font color="

890
00:44:38,685 --> 00:44:41,563
Does he know where the bathroom is?
Yes. He went.

891
00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:44,003
When you both finally
decided to show up.

892
00:44:44,005 --> 00:44:47,325
I've explained why we were late.

893
00:44:49,765 --> 00:44:52,363
Give him a nudge.

894
00:44:52,365 --> 00:44:54,843
Ted? Mm?

895
00:44:54,845 --> 00:44:56,883
Ted?

896
00:44:56,885 --> 00:44:59,203
<font color="

897
00:44:59,205 --> 00:45:01,645
Let's leave the side light on.
He'll be all right.

898
00:45:03,085 --> 00:45:06,123
I wonder where Alice's ashes are.
Well, they'll be somewhere.

899
00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:07,603
No shit, Sherlock.

900
00:45:07,605 --> 00:45:10,883
Well, I imagine
they're in one of his suitcases.

901
00:45:10,885 --> 00:45:13,163
<font color="
do you think?

902
00:45:13,165 --> 00:45:15,363
Put her somewhere...
More dignified?

903
00:45:15,365 --> 00:45:16,723
Less cramped.

904
00:45:16,725 --> 00:45:20,683
I don't know, I don't want
to be going through his stuff.

905
00:45:20,685 --> 00:45:23,363
Here, shall I put this blanket
over him?

906
00:45:23,365 --> 00:45:24,485
You can do.

907
00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:28,083
<font color="

908
00:45:28,085 --> 00:45:30,365
What have you been up to
this time, old lad?

909
00:45:35,925 --> 00:45:37,325
Are you all right?

910
00:45:39,125 --> 00:45:40,483
Alan?

911
00:45:40,485 --> 00:45:41,725
Yeah.

912
00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:45,603
Just remembering things.

913
00:45:45,605 --> 00:45:47,365
What things?

914
00:45:49,885 --> 00:45:51,525
Shall we get into bed?

915
00:45:56,005 --> 00:45:57,245
Hmm.

916
00:45:59,125 --> 00:46:02,805
<font color="
to New Zealand in first place.

917
00:46:03,805 --> 00:46:06,643
It were my mother and dad...
made him go.

918
00:46:06,645 --> 00:46:08,243
Why?

919
00:46:08,245 --> 00:46:10,723
Well, she was pregnant. Alice.

920
00:46:10,725 --> 00:46:13,883
They'd only been together
five minutes.

921
00:46:13,885 --> 00:46:15,923
My mother and dad were livid.

922
00:46:15,925 --> 00:46:17,285
<font color="

923
00:46:18,365 --> 00:46:21,203
They wouldn't speak to her. They
wouldn't have her in the house.

924
00:46:21,205 --> 00:46:22,803
You're joking.

925
00:46:22,805 --> 00:46:26,723
Well, they thought
they were a bit of summat...

926
00:46:26,725 --> 00:46:28,043
..up at church.

927
00:46:28,045 --> 00:46:30,203
So...

928
00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,803
Oh, hell.

929
00:46:31,805 --> 00:46:37,483
<font color="
having a fight.

930
00:46:37,485 --> 00:46:41,565
A proper set-to -
shouting, me mother crying...

931
00:46:42,645 --> 00:46:46,683
It was when the government were
advertising for people to emigrate.

932
00:46:46,685 --> 00:46:49,363
They were desperate for people
to go over and build houses

933
00:46:49,365 --> 00:46:53,203
<font color="
and all sorts.

934
00:46:53,205 --> 00:46:57,803
There were a lot of incentives for
anybody that was short of work.

935
00:46:57,805 --> 00:46:58,843
I remember.

936
00:46:58,845 --> 00:47:00,323
Or...

937
00:47:00,325 --> 00:47:02,763
..needed to get away.

938
00:47:02,765 --> 00:47:04,605
So they got wed and off they went.

939
00:47:05,805 --> 00:47:07,123
They made the most of it,

940
00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:09,563
<font color="
through choice.

941
00:47:09,565 --> 00:47:13,363
And I think he felt
like they'd been banished.

942
00:47:13,365 --> 00:47:14,963
And it wasn't fair.

943
00:47:14,965 --> 00:47:17,923
They thought the world of
each other,

944
00:47:17,925 --> 00:47:20,643
and they shouldn't have been
made to feel like that.

945
00:47:20,645 --> 00:47:22,243
<font color="

946
00:47:22,245 --> 00:47:25,163
When we visited him,
he's never said anything.

947
00:47:25,165 --> 00:47:28,843
Well, like I say,
I kind of forgot about it myself.

948
00:47:28,845 --> 00:47:32,963
But you get on with life, don't
you? Put a different spin on it,

949
00:47:32,965 --> 00:47:35,043
for your own sake.

950
00:47:35,045 --> 00:47:39,043
<font color="

951
00:47:39,045 --> 00:47:45,243
But it was when he said that he'd
brought her ashes with him...

952
00:47:45,245 --> 00:47:47,723
..it all came back to me.

953
00:47:47,725 --> 00:47:49,043
And it saddened me,

954
00:47:49,045 --> 00:47:52,483
the idea that all this time

955
00:47:52,485 --> 00:47:56,325
they never stopped wanting to
come back. And now they have.

956
00:47:57,645 --> 00:47:59,043
<font color="

957
00:47:59,045 --> 00:48:00,525
She's dead, and he's...

958
00:48:03,925 --> 00:48:07,603
I do think he is losing it a bit.

959
00:48:07,605 --> 00:48:10,843
Oh Alan.
I'll have to help him.

960
00:48:10,845 --> 00:48:13,285
Shan't I? Whatever's gone on.

961
00:48:15,165 --> 00:48:17,725
He's the only brother
I'll ever have.

962
00:48:20,605 --> 00:48:21,805
HE SIGHS

963
00:48:25,645 --> 00:48:26,845
No way!

964
00:48:28,445 --> 00:48:30,123
<font color="

965
00:48:30,125 --> 00:48:31,323
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

966
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:34,723
So I could say, "Judith,

967
00:48:34,725 --> 00:48:38,923
"tell us about the time you trashed
Caroline's kitchen

968
00:48:38,925 --> 00:48:42,003
"and then puked up behind
the stairs"?

969
00:48:42,005 --> 00:48:43,923
Yes, you could!

970
00:48:43,925 --> 00:48:45,563
SHE SIGHS

971
00:48:45,565 --> 00:48:48,123
<font color="
anecdote

972
00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:50,723
for her adoring
adolescent acolytes,

973
00:48:50,725 --> 00:48:53,803
but, wahey, who cares?

974
00:48:53,805 --> 00:48:57,203
Oh, God, and then the first
time I met her.

975
00:48:57,205 --> 00:48:59,723
Well, she fell over -

976
00:48:59,725 --> 00:49:03,483
she was pissed - on some glass, and
<font color="

977
00:49:03,485 --> 00:49:06,603
and I ended up in casualty with her.
And it was my birthday!

978
00:49:06,605 --> 00:49:08,203
And it was her glass!

979
00:49:08,205 --> 00:49:11,643
It was her bottle of wine
that she'd dropped!

980
00:49:11,645 --> 00:49:13,763
Oh, dear.

981
00:49:13,765 --> 00:49:16,125
Oh, she's a pisshead.

982
00:49:22,765 --> 00:49:26,163
I am glad you're telling me this.

983
00:49:26,165 --> 00:49:28,885
<font color="
that she's just...

984
00:49:30,245 --> 00:49:32,203
..a bit rubbish.

985
00:49:32,205 --> 00:49:33,443
Like the rest of us.

986
00:49:33,445 --> 00:49:35,283
Yes, well...

987
00:49:35,285 --> 00:49:36,925
Yeah, she is.

988
00:49:38,405 --> 00:49:42,605
It'll mean I'm not mumbling
incoherently when I interview her.

989
00:49:43,965 --> 00:49:46,923
Right... How far have we got?

990
00:49:46,925 --> 00:49:52,723
<font color="
more. I'm too pissed.

991
00:49:52,725 --> 00:49:56,123
Well, we can... We'll pick it up
in the morning. It's fine.

992
00:49:56,125 --> 00:49:58,203
You'll be fine,
you've got loads.

993
00:49:58,205 --> 00:49:59,405
God.

994
00:50:00,925 --> 00:50:02,125
BOTH SIGH

995
00:50:04,685 --> 00:50:05,765
Are you all right?

996
00:50:07,245 --> 00:50:08,363
Yeah.

997
00:50:08,365 --> 00:50:09,803
<font color="

998
00:50:09,805 --> 00:50:13,645
Oh, God, it is just so nice...

999
00:50:14,685 --> 00:50:16,885
..not being in that house
with him.

1000
00:50:22,005 --> 00:50:23,523
Is it?

1001
00:50:23,525 --> 00:50:24,923
Yeah.

1002
00:50:24,925 --> 00:50:25,965
Mm.

1003
00:50:27,285 --> 00:50:28,965
Wow.

1004
00:50:36,125 --> 00:50:37,563
I'm going to be nosey.

1005
00:50:37,565 --> 00:50:38,963
Mm?

1006
00:50:38,965 --> 00:50:42,483
How does Flora fit into...?

1007
00:50:42,485 --> 00:50:45,405
<font color="

1008
00:50:50,085 --> 00:50:52,443
No. Oh, God, no.

1009
00:50:52,445 --> 00:50:55,083
So you had a fling with...?

1010
00:50:55,085 --> 00:50:57,883
Well, no. No, I didn't.

1011
00:50:57,885 --> 00:50:59,963
Erm... No. Flora's, erm...

1012
00:50:59,965 --> 00:51:01,643
Well, I kind of did.

1013
00:51:01,645 --> 00:51:04,765
So after John went off with
her, I, erm...

1014
00:51:06,365 --> 00:51:07,605
SHE SIGHS

1015
00:51:09,365 --> 00:51:10,923
<font color="

1016
00:51:10,925 --> 00:51:12,243
OK.

1017
00:51:12,245 --> 00:51:13,645
To who?

1018
00:51:15,525 --> 00:51:17,723
To Kate.

1019
00:51:17,725 --> 00:51:19,005
And, is…

1020
00:51:20,245 --> 00:51:21,885
That's Kate.

1021
00:51:23,485 --> 00:51:24,685
There.

1022
00:51:29,645 --> 00:51:30,923
And...

1023
00:51:30,925 --> 00:51:34,085
..Kate wanted a baby, so...

1024
00:51:36,645 --> 00:51:39,245
We got pregnant.
Well, she did.

1025
00:51:40,245 --> 00:51:42,325
<font color="
down...

1026
00:51:43,445 --> 00:51:44,845
..and killed.

1027
00:51:45,885 --> 00:51:47,523
She was pregnant -
eight and a half months.

1028
00:51:47,525 --> 00:51:50,323
They managed to save Flora,
but not her.

1029
00:51:50,325 --> 00:51:53,365
It happened the day after we
got married.

1030
00:51:54,485 --> 00:51:56,963
<font color="
That happened on the Sunday.

1031
00:51:56,965 --> 00:51:58,843
No...

1032
00:51:58,845 --> 00:52:00,325
Five years ago.

1033
00:52:03,165 --> 00:52:04,245
So you're...?

1034
00:52:06,885 --> 00:52:08,845
I didn't realise that you were...

1035
00:52:10,765 --> 00:52:12,403
Bereaved?

1036
00:52:12,405 --> 00:52:13,645
Gay.

1037
00:52:15,685 --> 00:52:16,765
Oh.

1038
00:52:19,285 --> 00:52:20,965
Oh, well, no!

1039
00:52:22,885 --> 00:52:25,285
<font color="
Well, I did.

1040
00:52:27,045 --> 00:52:29,845
I didn't advertise it,
particularly, but I've never...

1041
00:52:31,285 --> 00:52:34,363
..hidden it either. If I was with
someone, it would be more obvious,

1042
00:52:34,365 --> 00:52:36,523
but I'm not now, so...

1043
00:52:36,525 --> 00:52:37,645
Sorry, I thought you...

1044
00:52:38,725 --> 00:52:39,765
..did know.

1045
00:52:41,045 --> 00:52:42,845
<font color="

1046
00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:48,685
That is a tragic thing
to have happened.

1047
00:52:50,645 --> 00:52:52,045
Mm.

1048
00:52:56,445 --> 00:52:57,685
I'm sorry.

1049
00:52:59,285 --> 00:53:01,885
Listen, I'm not feeling too good.

1050
00:53:03,445 --> 00:53:04,645
OK.

1051
00:53:05,845 --> 00:53:08,243
I think I've drunk too much.

1052
00:53:08,245 --> 00:53:10,605
I...I have drunk too much.

1053
00:53:12,165 --> 00:53:13,765
I might go to bed.

1054
00:53:14,805 --> 00:53:16,283
<font color="

1055
00:53:16,285 --> 00:53:17,365
It's, erm...

1056
00:53:20,045 --> 00:53:22,485
It's just at the top of the
stairs, far end.

1057
00:53:24,125 --> 00:53:25,965
Would you like some water? No.

1058
00:53:28,285 --> 00:53:30,963
Actually, why don't I ring
for a taxi?

1059
00:53:30,965 --> 00:53:32,443
Oh, you don't have to.

1060
00:53:32,445 --> 00:53:33,725
No, but...

1061
00:53:35,005 --> 00:53:38,083
<font color="
get one if you...

1062
00:53:38,085 --> 00:53:41,723
Well, if it hasn't been
booked. I had no idea.

1063
00:53:41,725 --> 00:53:43,723
Is it a problem?

1064
00:53:43,725 --> 00:53:46,045
No! God, no.

1065
00:53:47,085 --> 00:53:48,443
Why would it be?

1066
00:53:48,445 --> 00:53:49,525
No, just...

1067
00:53:50,645 --> 00:53:52,283
I just thought you knew.

1068
00:53:52,285 --> 00:53:53,445
<font color="

1069
00:53:54,845 --> 00:53:57,003
It's not why I invited you
here. Is that why you thought

1070
00:53:57,005 --> 00:53:59,083
I wanted to come here?
You thought that I'm...?

1071
00:53:59,085 --> 00:54:00,565
No!

1072
00:54:02,325 --> 00:54:03,485
No!

1073
00:54:09,085 --> 00:54:11,283
Why don't I make us some coffee?

1074
00:54:11,285 --> 00:54:12,525
Yeah.

1075
00:54:26,725 --> 00:54:28,085
RAIN DRIPS

1076
00:54:30,605 --> 00:54:32,925
<font color="

1077
00:54:49,085 --> 00:54:50,245
Bastard.

1078
00:54:56,445 --> 00:54:58,965
GUNSHOT, ALL GASP

1079
00:55:01,005 --> 00:55:02,963
What was that?

1080
00:55:02,965 --> 00:55:04,885
Some dumb bastard shooting.

1081
00:55:10,965 --> 00:55:13,083
Morning. What you doing?

1082
00:55:13,085 --> 00:55:14,923
Foxes.

1083
00:55:14,925 --> 00:55:16,525
Pestering sheep.

1084
00:55:20,685 --> 00:55:23,725
Sleep OK?
<font color="

1085
00:55:24,925 --> 00:55:28,043
There's coffee and bacon on the go
in the kitchen if you're hungry.

1086
00:55:28,045 --> 00:55:29,085
Right.

1087
00:55:48,565 --> 00:55:50,483
BANGING

1088
00:55:50,485 --> 00:55:52,163
DOG WHIMPERS

1089
00:55:52,165 --> 00:55:53,765
DOG BARKS

1090
00:56:02,405 --> 00:56:03,765
SHE GROANS

1091
00:56:05,245 --> 00:56:06,485
DOOR CLOSES

1092
00:56:16,325 --> 00:56:17,685
Shit.

1093
00:56:44,965 --> 00:56:46,803
<font color="

1094
00:56:46,805 --> 00:56:48,603
Ted?

1095
00:56:48,605 --> 00:56:49,965
Would you like a cup of tea?

1096
00:57:08,805 --> 00:57:10,763
Where is he?

1097
00:57:10,765 --> 00:57:12,203
Who?

1098
00:57:12,205 --> 00:57:13,323
Is he outside?

1099
00:57:13,325 --> 00:57:15,523
Who? Ted!

1100
00:57:15,525 --> 00:57:17,163
I've no idea.

1101
00:57:17,165 --> 00:57:19,083
Did you open these doors?

1102
00:57:19,085 --> 00:57:21,163
No.

1103
00:57:21,165 --> 00:57:22,603
<font color="

1104
00:57:22,605 --> 00:57:25,085
Where the hell is he?

1105
00:57:26,605 --> 00:57:28,285
Ted!

1106
00:57:29,365 --> 00:57:30,963
Ted!

1107
00:57:30,965 --> 00:57:32,805
THUNDER CRASHES, CELIA GASPS

1108
00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:42,043
Make it a fiver, and I'll make
sure nobody touches your car.

1109
00:57:42,045 --> 00:57:44,883
And I know you'd be upset
if it got scratched.

1110
00:57:44,885 --> 00:57:46,083
<font color="

1111
00:57:46,085 --> 00:57:49,203
Obviously, that's exactly
what needs to happen next.

1112
00:57:49,205 --> 00:57:53,203
You're 50-odd. I'm 38.

1113
00:57:53,205 --> 00:57:54,443
Look at yourself.

1114
00:57:54,445 --> 00:57:55,803
JOHN: Don't humiliate Caroline.

1115
00:57:55,805 --> 00:57:57,403
JUDITH: Don't tell me
how to behave.

1116
00:57:57,405 --> 00:58:01,243
<font color="
that I almost miss him.

1117
00:58:01,245 --> 00:58:03,083
Hello.

1118
00:58:03,085 --> 00:58:05,843
Fuck off! Sheep farming...

1119
00:58:05,845 --> 00:58:08,285
Just...don't...