1 00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,671 Who's a big leaguer, huh? 2 00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:05,005 Who is it? 3 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,740 Ooh! 4 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,843 Hey, what an arm! 5 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:13,181 Oh! You got me again. 6 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,549 (both laugh) 7 00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:19,053 Bam! You really nailed me. 8 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:23,724 He looked like he was enjoying it! 9 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:28,996 * Yes, no, maybe 10 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,165 * I don't know 11 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,435 * Can you repeat the question? 12 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,670 * You're not the boss of me now * 13 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,107 * You're not the boss of me now * 14 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,574 * You're not the boss of me now * 15 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,611 * And you're not so big 16 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,080 * You're not the boss of me now * 17 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,116 * You're not the boss of me now * 18 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,684 * You're not the boss of me now * 19 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,521 * And you're not so big 20 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:57,057 * Life is unfair. 21 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,429 Morning. 22 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,565 What are you hiding? 23 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:05,699 What are you talking about? 24 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:06,734 Stop wasting my time. 25 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,402 I can smell the guilt from here. 26 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,904 You know, if you fess up now, I might go easy on you. 27 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:12,806 You can't just pretend to know something, 28 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,442 hoping I'll blurt out a confession. 29 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,776 I'm not hiding anything. 30 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,481 Okay, I'm hiding something. 31 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:21,549 Cool, huh? 32 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,816 If I hide it from my parents 33 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,452 for a month until it heals, 34 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,820 then I can take it out and put it back anytime I want. 35 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,422 And do you know why I did this? 36 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,358 Me neither. 37 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,894 Hey, that's really neat. 38 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,996 Thanks. It's the USS Constitution. 39 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,831 In 1803, it sailed all the... 40 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,400 Typhoon! 41 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,768 I can't believe you did that! 42 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,837 How about now? 43 00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,005 You idiotic...! 44 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,607 I hate you! 45 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,075 I wish you weren't my brother! 46 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,879 I wish you never existed! 47 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,850 Wow. How did that happen? 48 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,286 What? 49 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,687 It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. 50 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,754 What is? 51 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,323 I wished as hard as I could 52 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,025 and Reese completely disappeared. 53 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,360 Yeah, yeah, very funny. 54 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:09,029 Huh. The smell is gone, too. 55 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,432 I wonder if it works on other things. 56 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,735 Nah. If this were gone, I'd miss it. 57 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,178 (screams) 58 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:26,013 You have your father's breasts. 59 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,381 For God's sake, Mother, 60 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,483 what are you doing here? 61 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,652 A simple "hello" is asking too much? 62 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,020 I'm sorry. 63 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,356 You scared the living daylights out of me. 64 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,457 I have news. 65 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,858 Look, if Susan kicked you out, 66 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,460 it doesn't mean you can stay here, 67 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,828 because we just don't have the room. 68 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,296 Not with the new baby and all. 69 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,365 Oh, yes, another precious baby. 70 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,867 You wouldn't want your welfare checks to dry up. 71 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,703 I'm not moving in. I'm getting married. 72 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,572 What?! 73 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,807 His name is Mr. Li. 74 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,043 I met him on my Alaska cruise. 75 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,245 We're getting married tomorrow. 76 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,648 You're getting married tomorrow?! 77 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,550 At my age, if he has his teeth 78 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,418 and is good in bed, why wait? 79 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,185 (groans) 80 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,654 Oh, I forgot. 81 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,589 This one doesn't like girls. 82 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,524 Grandma, I'm not gay. 83 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,493 That's right. I'm just a liar. 84 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,429 You'll be giving the rehearsal dinner here tonight. 85 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,431 Tonight? Is Susan coming? 86 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,868 No. Maybe next time your sister will think twice 87 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,936 before she yells the answer to Wheel of Fortune. 88 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,104 Give someone else a chance. 89 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,339 Wedding's at 2:00 tomorrow. 90 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,540 Don't be late. 91 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,175 We have a 6:00 flight to Hong Kong. 92 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,043 You're going to Hong Kong? 93 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,045 Yes. He has a house there. That's where we're going to live. 94 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,447 You're moving to China? 95 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:34,948 I know. 96 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,418 Chickens in the streets, children in the sweatshops, 97 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,952 everyone smokes. 98 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,721 It's a dream come true. 99 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,956 It's just so sudden. 100 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,092 I understand it is hard for you. 101 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:48,262 I know how much you loved your father. 102 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:51,265 Yes, that's probably it. 103 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,035 Can you believe this? 104 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,737 She'll be almost exactly 105 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,472 on the other side of the Earth. 106 00:03:58,506 --> 00:03:59,907 We'll be separated from her 107 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,042 by the entire molten core of a planet. 108 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,578 It's like Christmas! 109 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,217 Francis, I've done something wonderful for the hotel. 110 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,920 (quietly): I hired an acting group 111 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:16,824 to stage a murder- mystery weekend. 112 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,291 Oh, dear God. 113 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,928 The best part is, the actors will be checking in 114 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,430 as regular guests. 115 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,632 They could be among us right now 116 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,467 and we would never know it. 117 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,735 (man clears throat) 118 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,403 (British accent): Attention, please! 119 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:32,506 A room for Sir Reginald Drake and his vengeful, 120 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:36,377 alcoholic wife, Evelyn. 121 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,313 I don't have any clean socks, Dewey. 122 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,648 Why don't you ask Reese? 123 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:41,815 Who? 124 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,751 Here, Dewey, put this on the table. 125 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,985 What was that? 126 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,320 Reese, for God's sake, pick it up! 127 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:47,287 (doorbell rings) 128 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,589 Oh, great. 129 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,857 HAL: Honey, don't worry. 130 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,525 Everything's going to be fine. 131 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,961 Just relax and let's have a nice dinner. 132 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,464 Ida's quite a catch! 133 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,999 Hi, I'm Lois. This is Hal. 134 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,368 Welcome to our home. 135 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,169 MR. LI: Hello. Nice to meet you both. 136 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,203 Get your coat? 137 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,338 Stay away from me. 138 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:05,773 Ooh. Strong and independent. 139 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,841 Yet not so independent that she won't be 140 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,677 a fully participating partner in your marriage. 141 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,812 Shut up. You're blithering like an idiot. 142 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,047 And delightfully honest. 143 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:17,851 How can you be so callous, Cedric?! 144 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,621 CEDRIC: I told you never to speak of that! 145 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:25,726 Now quit these pointless hysterics and come to dinner! 146 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:28,496 You'd best watch 147 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,297 your step, Cedric. 148 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:36,370 An old English hunting lodge can be a very dangerous place. 149 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,472 Please, can't you get these morons out of here? 150 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,508 I know. I'm very sorry. 151 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,542 Just... try to ignore them. 152 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,876 (gunshot) 153 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,513 Alas, I am slain! 154 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,715 Utterly slain! 155 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,983 Who would have guessed 156 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,721 that I would have been murdered by none other than... 157 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:57,190 (grunting, groaning) 158 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,726 (screaming with pain) 159 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,195 That's it. We're checking out. 160 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,163 No! 161 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,332 Please, wait. 162 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,768 Otto, you have to stop this. 163 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,737 It's ruining everyone's time. 164 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,739 Francis, try to be more understanding. 165 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,707 They may be a little under-rehearsed, 166 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,409 but they're working with us. 167 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:18,178 They were completely open to cutting the musical numbers. 168 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,180 Our guests are leaving in droves. 169 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,550 We lost 12 in the last hour alone. 170 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,854 I am not a big game hunter, 171 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:31,224 I am actually a police inspector. 172 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,195 Specialty... murder. 173 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,565 I must insist that no one leave the room! 174 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,733 Angela, I know things didn't go so well 175 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:40,968 the last time, 176 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,970 but I'm ready to try this again. 177 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,538 Yes, Warren? Yes? 178 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:47,708 We'll start our questioning with you, sir. 179 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,078 If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear! 180 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,414 If you struggle, it'll only make it worse for you. 181 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,316 Maybe I shouldn't have given him 182 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,486 all the keys to the guest rooms. 183 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,795 Dinner's going okay so far. 184 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,329 Mr. Li seems nice. 185 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,499 But my tongue is killing me. 186 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,967 No one told me that putting a metal spike through it 187 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,769 would be so uncomfortable. 188 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,838 So, you two lovebirds met on a cruise. 189 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,139 What was that like? 190 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,408 What is this, the third degree? 191 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,944 People meet. Happens every day. 192 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,513 It's an interesting story. 193 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,981 The woman I dined with the first night 194 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:31,685 was confined to sickbay after she fell overboard. 195 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,288 We had rough seas. 196 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,157 LI: But as often happens, 197 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,960 misfortune brings opportunity, 198 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:44,264 for it was then I met the beautiful Ida. 199 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,833 (chokes) 200 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,035 Sorry. Swallowed a bug. 201 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,202 Come on, Dewey. 202 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,138 Have a dumpling. They're your favorite. 203 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,940 And the only way you can get one 204 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,542 is by taking it off this plate 205 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:57,945 that I'm holding, which proves that I exist. 206 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,881 If no one's eating this, I will. 207 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,051 Mom, Jamie's got your cigarettes. 208 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,619 Who the hell is Jamie? 209 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,387 Your grandson. 210 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,526 Huh. We never named them 211 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,228 till we were sure they would survive. 212 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,363 (chuckles) 213 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,031 I love this dark humor of hers. 214 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,332 I'm telling you, 215 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,635 you have nothing but fun ahead of you. 216 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:24,171 Reese, this firecracker shrimp is fantastic. 217 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,874 Yes. I didn't know you can get such hot peppers in America. 218 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,876 (groans) 219 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,043 Something wrong? 220 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,815 I just realized that Grandma's really leaving! 221 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,216 I need to be alone. 222 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,287 You should get him a woman before it's too late. 223 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,255 An ugly one. 224 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,625 They're cheaper, they work harder. 225 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,262 It's okay. 226 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,264 I'm sure I had yellow goo coming out of my tongue 227 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,700 before it got pierced. 228 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,434 Drink your tea. 229 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,236 You hate it when it gets cold. 230 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,206 Oh, darling, you have something in your hair. 231 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,207 What? 232 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,609 Under your wig. 233 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,243 What are you doing?! Get out of there! 234 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,245 What is this? 235 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,581 A list of my bank accounts... 236 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,249 and the amounts in them. 237 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,322 I had to know what I was getting into. 238 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,293 Wise as well as beautiful. 239 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,695 If we are going to get married, 240 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:25,565 it is only fair you know how much money I have. 241 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,601 If you're done tearing at me like a hyena, 242 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,569 I have to go fix myself. 243 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,606 Thank you so very much 244 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,574 for allowing me into your home. 245 00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,977 Put on your makeup somewhere else, Nancy! 246 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:42,382 So, I am just so incredibly curious. 247 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,252 You're in love with... my mom? 248 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,121 I know it seems strange to people. 249 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:51,258 I know that we are so very different. 250 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,393 But ever since I met your mother, 251 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,896 I've... 252 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,198 She just makes me happy. 253 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,267 I'm the happiest 254 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,336 I've ever been in my whole life. 255 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:09,176 And "happy" in your culture means the same as...? 256 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,611 (knocking) 257 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,281 MAN: It's open. 258 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,515 Ah, gentlemen. 259 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,751 I was expecting my fellow thespians. 260 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,653 We're going to add a few delicious wrinkles 261 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,288 to the plot tomorrow. 262 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,423 Actually, that is what we wanted to talk to you about. 263 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,792 Uh-uh-uh. 264 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,459 If you think I'm going to give away the ending, 265 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,494 you're sadly mistaken. 266 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,962 Although... 267 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:31,699 (old lady voice): I might pay particular attention 268 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,668 to the enigmatic Mrs. Pomfreet. 269 00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:37,337 Otto... I'm sorry. We have to cancel the show. 270 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,039 (Scottish accent): Or Lord McGregor, 271 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:39,973 the gruff, but... 272 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,474 What? 273 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,510 You've all done a wonderful job, 274 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:47,114 but we had a scheduling mix-up and you'll have to go. 275 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,683 Thank you for the wonderful work you've done. 276 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,018 Oh, God, please don't fire us! 277 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,853 If we lose this job, it's over. 278 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,155 There's no place lower in show business we can go. 279 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,556 If you think I'm bad at this, 280 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,859 you should have seen me at the Dairy Queen. 281 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,193 This is our last chance. 282 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,228 Please don't do this. 283 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,530 Please. 284 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:07,234 Please? Please?! 285 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,536 Please? 286 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,205 Please? 287 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,643 Please? 288 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,478 I can't believe you didn't fire them. 289 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,547 I remember him from Dairy Queen. 290 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,682 He was bad. 291 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,087 Oh, no, no, no. 292 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,688 LOIS: Malcolm, quit messing around in there 293 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:29,723 and get out here. 294 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,158 We're leaving for the wedding. 295 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,259 I'll be out in a minute. 296 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,560 (lisping): Hold your horses. 297 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:34,527 What? 298 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,495 Nothing. 299 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,097 (lisping): Horses... 300 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,200 Oh, my God, it's swollen so much, I can't say my S's. 301 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,802 Mom's going to kill me. 302 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,773 Wait. I can hide it. 303 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:50,043 I'll be careful... how I talk. 304 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:53,914 And avoid... that letter completely. 305 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,583 (lisping): Simple. 306 00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,720 Well, looks like all of Ida's friends showed up. 307 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,389 Let's hope this thing starts soon. 308 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,958 Hey, Malcolm, what time does the parking lot close? 309 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,426 6:00, 6:30, 7:00? 310 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,629 Military time, that would be 1900, Dad. 311 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:14,034 Ah, here's the blushing bride! 312 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,703 I'm sorry, the hotel doesn't allow smoking in here. 313 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,038 Back off, you cow. 314 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,907 This is my special day. 315 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,876 Hal, do you think...? 316 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,544 Lois, I know it's weird, but love is blind 317 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,947 and it's none of our business, so we might as well 318 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,149 just let it go, wish them well, and move on. 319 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,483 I know I have. 320 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,421 Okay, I admit I've been a crummy brother, 321 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,456 and I shouldn't have smashed your ship, 322 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,426 and I probably should have tried out that new choke hold 323 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,129 on an animal before using it on you. 324 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,798 So, anyway, I got you this. 325 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:47,167 Oh, wow! 326 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,802 That's so cool. 327 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,270 And you can play against the robots 328 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,939 or you join them and fight the mutants. 329 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,406 I've always wanted this game. 330 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,075 I can't believe it. 331 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,144 And there's a trick to skip levels. Here, let me show you... 332 00:12:57,177 --> 00:13:01,014 Mom, I just found the exact game I wanted for my birthday 333 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,016 just lying on this chair. 334 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,954 How can he be so insensitive? 335 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,358 Jamie? 336 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,198 LI: Ah, my love. 337 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,499 I almost forgot-- 338 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,102 my grandmother wore this very necklace 339 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,503 on her wedding day. 340 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,637 It's called 341 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,039 Shuang Hsi, 342 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:29,309 the Chinese symbol for double happiness. 343 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:33,280 White people aren't impressed with this junk. 344 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,382 You're not supposed to see me before the wedding. 345 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,816 Go back to your room 346 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,718 before someone mistakes you for a waiter! 347 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,989 Whatever my bride wants. 348 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:45,058 I'll see you in a little while. 349 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,336 Oh, my God. 350 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,704 Opiate, 351 00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,806 opiate, mood elevator, 352 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,509 large mammal tranquilizer... 353 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,411 He's not in love with her at all. 354 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,413 She's got him drugged! 355 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,653 Skies are clear at the airport. 356 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,422 No problem with their flight leaving. 357 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,723 I'm checking the freeways. 358 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,724 Dad, Mom, 359 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,692 I have to tell you... 360 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:20,994 a thing. 361 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:21,895 What? 362 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,530 Grandma... 363 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,265 be drugging... 364 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,667 the man from China. 365 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,902 What? 366 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,737 Grandma be drugging the man from China. 367 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,941 What the hell is this? 368 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,909 Powerful mood elevator. 369 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,210 A lot of them. 370 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,079 Bottle after bottle after bottle. 371 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,347 She's drugging him? 372 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,781 How is she doing that? 373 00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,016 The tea. 374 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,585 My God, of course, the tea! 375 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,921 Remember, she kept refilling his cup all night. 376 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,856 That's how I'd do it. 377 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,926 You're sure that this is her purse? 378 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,261 Ye... 379 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,262 Affirmative. 380 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,363 Oh, stop screwing around. 381 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,330 Yes or no? 382 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,299 Yes or no?! 383 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,268 Not no. 384 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,936 Stealing 385 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,304 an old woman's purse. 386 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,139 I should have you all arrested. 387 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:09,076 Us? We know what you're doing to that poor Mr. Li. 388 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,711 My God, I thought you were an evil, conniving monster before, 389 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,281 but this, Mother, this is beyond the pale! 390 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,782 HAL: He's a human being, 391 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,584 and you're drugging him! 392 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,152 It's called seduction. 393 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,921 It's no different from wearing perfume 394 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,557 or padding your bra with potatoes. 395 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,294 What girl doesn't look for a little edge? 396 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,262 You are out of your mind! 397 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,597 Either you march up 398 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,499 to his room and tell him this wedding is off 399 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,001 or we're calling the police! 400 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:37,770 All right, I'm going. 401 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:38,972 Split the take? 402 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,307 Mom, go! 403 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,611 ...and how could our murderer 404 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,746 leave no footprints? 405 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,617 Because I submit to you 406 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,352 that he did not walk, 407 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,321 but rather swung... 408 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:58,025 into the room... on a rope! 409 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:02,962 And the only former circus acrobat here is... 410 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,297 That man! 411 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,666 And... that woman! 412 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:07,900 (gasps) 413 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,371 Oh, Edward, the game's up. 414 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:14,274 (Cockney accent): Yeah, we done it. 415 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,177 And we'd do it again, Guv'ner. 416 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,880 Mystery solved. 417 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,685 Oh, bravo! 418 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,456 Oh, my God. 419 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,657 Did you feel that? 420 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:31,991 It was wonderful! 421 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,693 That was the best reaction we've ever had. 422 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:34,994 Thank you so much. 423 00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,696 Thank you for giving us this chance. 424 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,131 No need. 425 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,899 The important thing is you believed in yourself 426 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,668 and you did a great job. 427 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,503 (stilted): What a delightful display 428 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,405 of intrigue and whimsy. 429 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,640 (reciting): I will remember this 430 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,908 for years to come. 431 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,111 I cannot wait to tell my friends. 432 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,347 (chuckling) 433 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,183 You hired the audience? 434 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,585 I hated to see him so depressed. 435 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,321 Within its framework of commitment and loyalty, 436 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,891 marriage enables the establishment of a home... 437 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,327 They look so nice together. 438 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,162 Yeah, they do. 439 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,231 I just love weddings. 440 00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,599 ...with trust and patience, your love will grow stronger. 441 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,535 Weren't we supposed to stop this? 442 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,569 Hmm. I think you're right. 443 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,905 I wonder why we didn't. 444 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,240 Who cares? 445 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,608 It's nice. 446 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,343 Oh, I'm not worried about it. 447 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,113 I... I'm just... happy. 448 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,348 MINISTER: Your love and respect for each other, 449 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,350 your trust and understanding of each other 450 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,552 will increase your contentment... 451 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,621 They're all empty. 452 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:35,788 Every bottle. 453 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,724 She drugged us all. 454 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,493 That filthy, hateful monster. 455 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,097 But how'd she do it? 456 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,032 The buffet. 457 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,900 Oh, that's right. 458 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,637 It showed up right after she went to talk to Mr. Li. 459 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,139 That evil genius. 460 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,407 You know, she knew we couldn't pass up free food. 461 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,609 This is simply the most diabolical, 462 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,778 hateful thing she's ever done. 463 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:02,215 But I sure do like her dress. Don't you? 464 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,616 I agree. 465 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,886 It's weird-- I used to just think thoughts. 466 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,756 Now my thoughts are thinking thoughts. 467 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:13,326 It's like, if I don't exist, who's saying if I don't exist? 468 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,594 You know what I mean? 469 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,730 I'll tell you who's saying it. 470 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,299 Me. 471 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,402 It's like I think, therefore... 472 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,671 Oh, wait. 473 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,239 I had it. 474 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,475 Don't worry, Reese, it'll come back around. 475 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,476 Yeah. 476 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,312 Hey, you spoke to me. 477 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,446 I exist. 478 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,681 For now. 479 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,782 MINISTER: ...buds are yet to blossom 480 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:36,983 and with care... 481 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,618 You know, I have to admit, 482 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,488 part of me wishes we could just stay this happy forever. 483 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:44,957 Can we, Malcolm? Can we? 484 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,293 Not really. 485 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,195 (lisping): I mean, most of these drugs 486 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,929 wear off after four or five hours. 487 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,464 Malcolm, why are you lisping? 488 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,333 I pierced my tongue. 489 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,035 I've been hiding it because I knew you'd go psycho. 490 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,271 I'll show you psycho. 491 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,840 When we get home, I'm going to pull that thing out 492 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,175 with a pair of pliers. 493 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,976 Sounds fair. 494 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,613 Be constant and consistent in your love. 495 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,281 From this comes the knowledge 496 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,218 that you can weather any storm... 497 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,019 Did you drink your tea? 498 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:13,886 What tea? 499 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:14,887 The tea I gave you 500 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,189 right before the ceremony. 501 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,457 Oh, I'm sorry. 502 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,859 I thought that was for me. 503 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,994 Did anyone ever tell you, 504 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:25,031 you have a beautiful smile? 505 00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,699 I haven't been to the dentist in years. 506 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,301 I should really give him a call... 507 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,069 Get on with it, God boy! 508 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,740 Well, someone's eager for the sacrament of married love, huh? 509 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:34,974 (chuckling) 510 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,809 I think Mr. Li's coming out of it. 511 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,211 Ah, what a shame. 512 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,547 The old bat used up all her happy pills on us. 513 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,848 Oh, also, 514 00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:45,218 this is so very, very, very important. 515 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,719 Never go to bed angry. 516 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:49,489 I should say, never go to sleep angry. 517 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,391 (laughs) 518 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,360 And you know what? 519 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,561 Never eat salad angry. 520 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,928 Never eat soup sad. 521 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,730 Give me these. 522 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:58,898 Here. 523 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,066 Go. 524 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,401 Shall we pray...? No! 525 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,002 All righty then. Do you take...? 526 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:03,936 Yes! 527 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,004 And do you...? 528 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,038 Yes! 529 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,574 Then I now pronounce you... 530 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,242 Who the hell are you? 531 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,412 Oh, darling, don't be silly. 532 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,680 Get the rings! 533 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,115 Wait, I know you. 534 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,351 You're that horrible woman at my table 535 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,186 who kept spitting at the busboys. 536 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,221 Oh, no, no. That was someone else. 537 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,290 No, it was you! 538 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,424 My little honey lamb. 539 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,192 Let me go! Hoochie-coochie. 540 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,760 (Li speaking Cantonese) 541 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,262 Ow! Ooh! 542 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,263 Ooh! 543 00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:31,364 You take your... 544 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,266 take your hands off of me! 545 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,569 You can't leave me now! 546 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,871 I'm pregnant! Oh! 547 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,240 (sobbing) 548 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,242 Why, why?! 549 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,479 Why can't I ever be happy?! 550 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:47,747 (crying) 551 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:51,351 I promised I wasn't going to do this. 552 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,820 There's still dirt under the rim. 553 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,322 I've been scrubbing for an hour. 554 00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,789 It's not coming off. 555 00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:58,791 Well, since you don't care about your tongue, 556 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,960 maybe you could use that to clean the toilet. 557 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,495 I found Grandma's thermos. 558 00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:05,998 Looks like there's still a half cup left 559 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,266 of this terrible potion. 560 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,835 You know, the lawnmower needs some work. 561 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,870 I think I'll go out to the garage... 562 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,275 Good. Yeah, good idea.