1
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:06,960
Tell me.

2
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,400
It's difficult.

3
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,320
Cat's been calling?

4
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,880
Do you want her to come round?

5
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,600
No.

6
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,560
You have to mix
the worlds at some point.

7
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,600
Do you want to be here?

8
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,560
Yes.

9
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,560
Yes.

10
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,040
♪ I had a dream I was learning

11
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,790
♪ Then your love took it from me

12
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,670
♪ I had a dream I was learning

13
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,550
♪ Then your love took it from me

14
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,070
♪ I had a dream I was learning

15
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,230
♪ Then your love took it from me

16
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,840
♪ Ask me what I think I believe
I need to see you. ♪

17
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,360
Think I should start jogging.

18
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,440
You've been saying it for years.

19
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,320
We could do it together.

20
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,240
Yeah, could get matching Lycra.

21
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,200
We could.

22
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,470
As long as you wear the hot pink.

23
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,040
Tips.

24
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,430
Thank you.

25
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,960
What did you get?

26
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,950
They'll get to us.

27
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,760
They're busy.
Everyone wants their time.

28
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,230
You trying to get me fat?

29
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,110
Trying?
I'm succeeding, you big lump.

30
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,510
Speak for yourself.
You're spilling over those trousers.

31
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,200
Thanks.

32
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,990
I don't know, I'm scared
she won't be interested.

33
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,350
I don't know about that, man...

34
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,520
Er... Um...

35
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,670
Mum, are you... are you OK?

36
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,390
Yeah, you know, I'm good.
I just... I was passing by.

37
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,870
Pa... Passing by?

38
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,240
Yeah, I was nearby,
thought I'd pop in.

39
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,680
Are they... Are they your friends?

40
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,520
They look nice.

41
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,160
Um, do you want to, um...

42
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,950
Do you want to go to the cafe?

43
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,710
- Yeah. - OK.
- Yeah

44
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,280
Yeah, OK.

45
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,030
Do you think I could have come
to a place like this?

46
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,030
Mum, of course.

47
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,680
You would have been
president of all the unions.

48
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,080
What's going on, Mum?

49
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,160
I've given you guys
a bad childhood...

50
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,200
haven't I?

51
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,840
We had a great childhood.

52
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,840
Everything we needed.

53
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,630
But your dad and the work...

54
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,230
Kids shouldn't be exposed to that.

55
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,270
You shouldn't have been
exposed to that.

56
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,190
It was always Dad pushing
that world into our lives.

57
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,510
I went into it with my eyes open.

58
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,990
And he gave you no other choice.

59
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,400
That doesn't mean you can't want
something different now, Ma.

60
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,680
I've... no idea what I want.

61
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,070
That's OK.

62
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,600
Me neither.

63
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,950
Right, look.

64
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,470
That's Matthew.

65
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,430
He was shipped off to boarding
school as soon as he could breathe.

66
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,560
Works away in here till
1am or 2am every day.

67
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,670
Obviously hates himself.

68
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:07,310
Her - had to grow up watching her
dad verbally abusing her mum.

69
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,000
No idea how to navigate
a relationship with men now.

70
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:13,870
Not sure what's wrong with that guy

71
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,920
but something definitely is.

72
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,960
You did a great job.

73
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,710
Let's have some food.
They do a great pasta.

74
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,470
Hmm, it's a bit carb heavy...

75
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,310
Oh, carbs, carbs, carbs! Come on.

76
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,840
Let's have a carb day for once.

77
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,160
OK.

78
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,430
You were snoring again.

79
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,350
I don't snore.

80
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,000
The neighbours beg to differ.

81
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,110
Was it the nice kind of snoring
or the bad kind?

82
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,390
The nice kind.

83
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,840
Shut up!

84
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,470
Of Amber by Jacob Alon

85
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,910
Mm.

86
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,320
Lovely.

87
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,000
You OK?

88
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,440
Not really.

89
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,880
I'm sorry, Mum.

90
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,520
Are you OK?

91
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,520
I'm sorry.

92
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,630
I'm sorry I wasn't there
for you...

93
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,990
when dad said he was leaving.

94
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,840
I know. I know you are.

95
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,680
You had your own loss going on.

96
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,390
Dad came by.

97
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,710
To pack up his stuff.

98
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,870
I'm sorry,
I couldn't bear to tell you.

99
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,480
I fucking hate him.

100
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,920
Me too right now.

101
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,400
Come here.

102
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,550
Men!

103
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,400
Ho, coneheid!

104
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,480
It's cold.

105
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,760
Come back to bed.

106
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,560
Yeah, give me a minute.

107
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,240
You know what?

108
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,480
I like having you here.

109
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,110
- Luke?
- Um...

110
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,800
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Um...

111
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,240
- This is my boy Luke.
- Dad, can we talk?

112
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,030
Er... not really, no.
I've got an appointment.

113
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,790
I can get myself there.

114
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,270
You can't get yourself back.

115
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,110
Well, that gives you
a couple of hours to talk.

116
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,670
It's good to meet you.

117
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,080
You too.

118
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,790
We need to go, hurry up!

119
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,270
- Chloe. - I don't want to go!
- Come on, we need to go right now.

120
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,040
Mum wanted to come.

121
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,080
Said she's been calling.

122
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,600
She has.

123
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,230
Um...

124
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,350
Y-You liking it here?

125
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,470
Yeah?

126
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,510
- Um... Tea with milk.
- Mm-hm.

127
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,630
- Black coffee.
- OK. Any food?

128
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,630
- No, I'm good.
- Me too.

129
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,880
OK.

130
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,840
Black coffee?

131
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,830
What happened
to your hot chocolates?

132
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,440
Are you, then?

133
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,790
- Am I what?
- Um...

134
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,400
Liking it here?

135
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,670
It's different.

136
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,670
Not as much football.

137
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,150
- Thank God!
- Aye.

138
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,760
Aye.

139
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,350
And... um, Tom?

140
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,120
How is, um... that going?

141
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,360
Fine, yeah.

142
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,150
Um...

143
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,920
I-I think Mum's worried
about Sam and Shannon.

144
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,160
Listen.

145
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,080
It's going to take a little
bit of time to adapt.

146
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,880
She thinks Sam won't look
out for them.

147
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,230
What if something happens
to Mum or Shannon?

148
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,990
It's not...

149
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,670
- It won't.
- You don't know that.

150
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,360
It won't, Luke.

151
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,560
Look, Dad, I want you
to be happy. Truly.

152
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,030
Could you just answer
the phone to Mum

153
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,950
so I don't have to be
a go-between?

154
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,080
Call Nan back? Just something?

155
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,160
I can't right now.

156
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,320
- Thank you.
- Thanks.

157
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,920
Were you and Mum ever happy?

158
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,320
Like truly happy?

159
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,600
We were best friends.

160
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,000
That's a lot of life to
have sacrificed for you both.

161
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,280
What about you?

162
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,550
Are you happy? Do you like it here?

163
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,960
Do you think...

164
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,040
Do you think you'll end up staying?

165
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,480
- I like it here, yeah.
- Yeah?

166
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,320
What do you like about it?

167
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,160
I don't know.

168
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,520
- I like the people.
- Mm-hm.

169
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,600
I like being no-one.

170
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,790
I like my friends not being
scared off by my family,

171
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,320
the girls I like not being
scared off by Mum.

172
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,160
I guess I feel like I can breathe.

173
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,720
That sounds silly, right?

174
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,630
Feeling good.

175
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,950
You look good.

176
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,670
I'm concerned about your
cholesterol, though.

177
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,870
I did just have a packet of crisps.

178
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,710
I don't think it'll just be the
crisps. I'll send you home with

179
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,790
a list of things to keep an eye
out for in your diet.

180
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,920
How are you feeling about starting
the chemo?

181
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,200
OK. Yeah, ready.

182
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,110
When you come in next, it'll be
the induction stage of the therapy.

183
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,150
Sorry, doctor, but, I mean,
that's a big decision to make, no?

184
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:43,150
Seems crazy to decide that
after ONE medical opinion.

185
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,030
There must be some other avenues
we can explore, no?

186
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,190
I'm afraid the NHS
doesn't really work like that.

187
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,560
I'm the only specialist
in this hospital.

188
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,030
Look, we've got to go private.

189
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,910
No. I like it here.

190
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,950
It's shite.

191
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,870
I like my doctor.
He knows my history.

192
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,550
You will get more care. Better care.

193
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,430
- No.
- I'll pay.

194
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,310
Will you stop
throwing your weight around?

195
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,870
It's my life and my health.

196
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,360
I'll get the car.
You get the prescription.

197
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,350
Oh, come on.

198
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:45,630
Pal?

199
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,150
Hey, pal, come on.

200
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,190
What am I, like ten,
20 minutes late?

201
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,150
It's a busy area and late's late.

202
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,630
I was in the hospital.

203
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,270
There's a lot of that around here.
Somebody else might've needed

204
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,000
- your spot for an appointment.
- Come on, give me a break.

205
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,990
You're just a fucking prick,
aren't you?

206
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,630
Oi, watch your tone!

207
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,400
- Watch my tone?
- Aye.

208
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,400
Oh...

209
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,600
OK.

210
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,110
You two, you should come over.

211
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,150
You know, the... the pork toast,
it's incredible.

212
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,190
No, I can't, I've got to
watch my cholesterol now.

213
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,550
Oh, well, they've got salads.

214
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,950
- Oh, my God... Let's get a taxi now!
- Don't! - I need to eat that salad!

215
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,920
No, they're really good, honestly.

216
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,080
What about you?
Do you like your food?

217
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,990
If it's beige then I'll eat it.

218
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,310
I can't get him
to accept vegetables just yet.

219
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:07,310
I saw him inhale a multipack
of six croissants this morning.

220
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,750
- French kwah-sonts. Croissants.
- Croissants.

221
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,390
Sorry, darling. So cultured!

222
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,830
Yeah, always been
a cultured boy, our Rich.

223
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,110
Certainly have.

224
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,190
I can't go to France any more.
I start sneezing.

225
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,110
- I'm allergic.
- To France?

226
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:23,550
To the grass, I think. I think it's
like a hay fever problem.

227
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,510
Oh, right. Just in France?

228
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,710
I don't know that it's all the time
but the last I was there,

229
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,830
- it was, like, bad.
- That's weird.

230
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,310
That IS weird.

231
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,920
- Just going to get a refill.
- OK.

232
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,790
You got any holidays booked?

233
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,000
She wants to go away...

234
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,960
- It was nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

235
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,550
- That was really nice. - Yeah.
- Thank you. - Lovely. See you soon.

236
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,720
- Take care. Bye.
- Get home safe.

237
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,920
You OK?

238
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,000
I spoke to Cat.

239
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,280
Yeah?

240
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,160
That go OK?

241
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,350
Bit of shouting
and swearing to begin with, but...

242
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,630
to be expected.

243
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,880
Things aren't going well with Sam.

244
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,880
The family OK?

245
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,160
He's being impulsive.

246
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,990
Violent.

247
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,920
Acting without thinking.

248
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,560
He always had that in him, but...

249
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,960
I guess I was able
to keep it in check.

250
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,000
Now he's in charge...

251
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,880
Could you talk to him?

252
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,120
I think it's beyond that.

253
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,760
You're worried about them.

254
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,360
I can't go back.

255
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,510
I can't.

256
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,950
I know.

257
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,720
You don't have to right now.

258
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,880
I was so good at that job, but...

259
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,480
I can't imagine doing it again.

260
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:41,920
What made you good at it?

261
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:51,040
I was always willing to do
anything for the family.

262
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,310
The kids.

263
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,000
The people I loved.

264
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,200
Anything.

265
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,590
I couldn't always talk
to them but...

266
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,840
but I could make sure
they had everything, you know?

267
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,040
But then...

268
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,320
Well, after a while it
just becomes...

269
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,000
normal.

270
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:35,960
And the more you do it...

271
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,600
the harder it is to step away.

272
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,720
Did you want to? Step away?

273
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,240
Not at the time.

274
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,560
I was always doing it for somebody.

275
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,520
My dad.

276
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:06,880
Then them.

277
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,320
Then I started to love the feeling.

278
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,800
Walking into a room...

279
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,560
and everybody knows you're there.

280
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,040
The entire community treating you
like a hero.

281
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,560
That feeling...

282
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,720
I can't describe it. It's...

283
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:01,720
pure power.

284
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,720
I've done things, Tom...

285
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,320
I've done...

286
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,680
I've done some bad things.

287
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,240
Do you think I'm evil?

288
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,080
I think you survived.

289
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,440
I think you found your place
in a hard world.

290
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,560
I love you.

291
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,560
I love you for you.

292
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,600
Every part of you.

293
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,440
I love the Dylan inside my flat...

294
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,840
and I love the Dylan
outside of it.

295
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:23,150
But if this is the world
that you truly want to be in,

296
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,870
then you need to
let your family into it too.

297
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,790
Hi, Shan.

298
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,400
Love, I'm sorry,
I know you hate voice calls.

299
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,320
I want you to know that...

300
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,320
you and Luke mean the world to me.

301
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,240
Shannon, I'm so sorry
for what happened.

302
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,680
For what you've had to see.

303
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,600
And I know your heart must be
breaking right now.

304
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,160
I've been so selfish.

305
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,000
I realise Arran meant a lot to you.

306
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,470
There are things about our family,

307
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,960
about me that you don't know.

308
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,590
Let me explain

309
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,270
why I'm in this world.

310
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,160
Square Pegs In Round Holes
by Franc Moody