1
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,820
Oh, yeah.

2
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,031
<i>WOMAN". Oh, you're so good.</i>

3
00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:35,367
Oh, yes. I am the best, baby.

4
00:00:35,451 --> 00:00:37,786
Oh, <i>yeah!</i>
Oh. Oh, that was a tit.

5
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:40,247
That is a tit! Yes!

6
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,291
<i>Oh, you're so big!</i>

7
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,668
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's right, baby.

8
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,671
Oh, doggie wants to
hide his bone.</i> WOMAN <i>ON TELEVISION: Yes!</i>

9
00:00:47,755 --> 00:00:49,673
<i>Oh, yeah!
I'm bone smuggling, baby.</i>

10
00:00:49,757 --> 00:00:51,842
Man, would you shut up?

11
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:54,345
Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted
to say sweet dreams.

12
00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:56,346
Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams.
Good night, Mom.

13
00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:58,306
Kiss good night.

14
00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:01,685
Something wrong
with the reception?

15
00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,061
Yeah. Yeah.

16
00:01:03,145 --> 00:01:04,312
There's this nature show...

17
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,731
Take <i>it</i> off.
...that I'm trying to watch.

18
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,483
And the birds
are all scrambled

19
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,652
- and I can't even...
- Do me! <i>Yes!</i>

20
00:01:09,777 --> 00:01:12,321
<i>Baby! Ride me like a
pony!</i>

21
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,948
The thing must be broken

22
00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:16,241
or I sat on the remote
or something.

23
00:01:16,325 --> 00:01:17,492
Getting ready for bed, Son?

24
00:01:17,618 --> 00:01:18,744
Yup, I'm all set, Dad.
I'm all set.

25
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:19,870
Yeah?
No! No, I think

26
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,914
he's tried to watch
some illegal channels here.

27
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,416
Illegal...
Illegal channels?

28
00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:24,958
This is just
bad reception, honey.

29
00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:27,044
<i>Oh, spank my hairy ass!
What's that?</i>

30
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:28,337
<i>WOMAN". on, baby!</i>

31
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,923
You know what? Here.
Just give me this, please...

32
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,801
Oh, my God!
And let's get this...

33
00:01:33,884 --> 00:01:37,846
Okay, okay. Let's... What the
hell's the matter with this thing?

34
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,181
<i>Yes!</i>

35
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:52,277
Illegal channels? Shit!

36
00:01:52,361 --> 00:01:55,614
If there's any channel that should be
illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel.

37
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:59,326
Yeah. Lifetime supply of
pantyhose or some shit.

38
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,121
<i>Hey, did you</i> see <i>The Little
Mermaid on</i> TV <i>the other night?</i>

39
00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:04,915
No.
Ariel, man. She's so hot!

40
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,583
She's a mermaid, dude.

41
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,960
Yeah, Oz.
But not when she's on land.

42
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:12,965
Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's
party. We got to go. It'll be great.

43
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:17,303
Why? All that happens at Stifler's
parties is people get drunk and do it.

44
00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:18,678
Yeah.

45
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,681
Now, come on, Kevin.
Open it.

46
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:24,059
It's a big, thick envelope,
Vicky. You got in.

47
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,145
If you think so,
just open it.

48
00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:27,270
Fine.

49
00:02:35,279 --> 00:02:38,991
"Dear Miss Latham, we're sorry but
after keeping you on the waiting list

50
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:43,079
"for the past couple of months, we've
decided that you are now rejected."

51
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,038
Shut up!

52
00:02:45,122 --> 00:02:46,331
You got in.

53
00:02:46,415 --> 00:02:49,042
Yes! I love you!

54
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:51,712
Okay.

55
00:02:59,428 --> 00:03:01,638
Hey, you think I should wear
this shirt to Stifler's party?

56
00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:03,849
You've worn that shirt for,
like, three days in a row, man!

57
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,893
Guys. She said it.

58
00:03:05,976 --> 00:03:07,185
Said what?

59
00:03:07,269 --> 00:03:08,520
She said she loves me.

60
00:03:08,604 --> 00:03:10,856
Holy shit, dude! The
"L" word? Oh, man!

61
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,359
Cornell's not that far
from U of M.

62
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:15,193
Yeah, it's only, like,
seven hours.

63
00:03:15,277 --> 00:03:17,028
Oh, and you get to
drive across Canada.

64
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:18,864
Beautiful country.

65
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,241
Whatever. It's doable.

66
00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:24,577
What we should do today,
in band.

67
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:28,499
Instead of playing our instruments
regularly, we should play them backwards.

68
00:03:28,582 --> 00:03:30,792
That'll be so funny!
Yeah.

69
00:03:35,464 --> 00:03:36,840
No offense,
but you're talking about

70
00:03:36,924 --> 00:03:39,927
a post-high school,
long-distance relationship.

71
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:42,012
And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.

72
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,722
That's not why
we're going out.

73
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:47,392
What do you expect him to drive
to Cornell for? Milk and cookies?

74
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:50,061
We're gonna have sex when
he's ready and I'm ready.

75
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,022
It's got to be
completely perfect.

76
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:54,733
I want the right time, the
right moment, the right place...

77
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,986
Vicky, it's not a space
shuttle launch. It's sex.

78
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,451
Finch. Here's the
man we are looking for.

79
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,495
Gentlemen.
What's going on, buddy?

80
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,997
Same old.

81
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,831
Finch.
You got the Latin homework?

82
00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:11,249
Oh.

83
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,423
It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.

84
00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:22,594
It's a Latin joke. Yeah,
Latin. Just drink your coffee.

85
00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:24,262
You know, Jim,
it's mochaccino.

86
00:04:24,346 --> 00:04:25,347
What?

87
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,766
What I'm drinking, it's
mochaccino. It's not coffee.

88
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,059
'Nova!

89
00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:31,853
What's up, dude?

90
00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:34,230
You coming to the party
tonight, Ozzie, you fuck face?

91
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,400
Depends if my date
wants to stop by.

92
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,735
I'm working
on something new.

93
00:04:37,818 --> 00:04:39,986
I got an idea
about something new.

94
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:42,238
How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,

95
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,117
remove the shrink-wrap
and fucking use them!

96
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:48,829
Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.

97
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,290
Oh, right.
I'll see you guys tonight.

98
00:04:51,373 --> 00:04:54,376
I'll look for you
in the no-fucking section.

99
00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:02,634
All right. I'm shooting for a
9:00 ETA, beer in hand by five after.

100
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:04,219
Breath check.

101
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,723
Thank you.

102
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,898
I wish
you wouldn't do that.

103
00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:18,984
So, you got something up
your sleeve for tonight?

104
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,403
This is a foolproof plan,
my friend.

105
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,989
I have a serious question
to ask you guys. Okay.

106
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,284
You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian
chick? She might be there tonight.

107
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,995
Now, do you think
she would prefer

108
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:34,499
laid-back Jim, or

109
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,504
cool, hip Jim?

110
00:05:39,588 --> 00:05:41,923
I don't think it really matters
with that shirt you're wearing.

111
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:45,135
What? Correct me if I'm wrong
but you're the one with the girlfriend

112
00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,970
and you're still
stranded on third base.

113
00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:49,848
Hey, at least I know what
third base feels like, okay?

114
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,350
You're still
just a bat boy.

115
00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:52,851
Batboy. Batboy.

116
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,227
What are you
talking about?

117
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,314
Guys,

118
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,692
what exactly does
third base feel like?

119
00:06:00,776 --> 00:06:02,778
You wanna take this one?

120
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,490
Like warm apple pie.

121
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,200
Yeah?
Yeah.

122
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:11,537
Apple pie, huh?
Uh-huh.

123
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,289
McDonald's or homemade?

124
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:17,125
Gentlemen, destiny awaits.

125
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,048
<i>It's been one week
since you looked at me</i>

126
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:25,050
<i>Cooked your head to the side
and said, I'm angry</i>

127
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:28,262
That's number five and six
for the Stif-meister!

128
00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:30,513
Oh, yeah.

129
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,433
Oops!

130
00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:35,101
Holy!
Hey!

131
00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:39,355
Nadia! <i>Buenos dias.</i>
Glad you could make it.

132
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,525
I'll be back
for you later.

133
00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:50,074
Now the party's startin'!
How you doing?

134
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,578
Welcome to Stifler's
Palace of Love, fellas.

135
00:06:52,661 --> 00:06:55,705
The keg's back there! Enjoy!
Yeah.

136
00:06:55,789 --> 00:06:59,042
Vicky, Jessica! Great to see
you. Glad you could make it.

137
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:01,628
Haha, bitches!

138
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,422
Sherman!

139
00:07:03,505 --> 00:07:05,965
What the fuck
are you doing here?

140
00:07:09,845 --> 00:07:12,389
Fellas! What's going on?

141
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,809
Sherman. Not much.
Just scoping the babes.

142
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:19,771
Indeed!
Some fine ladies here, boys.

143
00:07:19,855 --> 00:07:23,108
Confidence is high.
Repeat. Confidence is high.

144
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,611
Sherman is moving
to DEFCON 2.

145
00:07:25,694 --> 00:07:28,279
Full strategic arsenal
ready for deployment.

146
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,365
Hey!

147
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,116
You have something
going tonight, Sherman?

148
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,077
You see that Central chick,
Bernette?

149
00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:35,245
NO- No.

150
00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:38,415
She's around. Seems
she's taken a liking to me.

151
00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:43,461
Fellas, it's time she
experienced the Sherminator.

152
00:07:43,545 --> 00:07:45,797
Yeah, okay, Sherman.
Whatever.

153
00:07:45,881 --> 00:07:49,843
I'm a sophisticated sex robot
sent back through time

154
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,722
to change the future
for one lucky lady.

155
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,307
Go get them, tiger.

156
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,475
I'll be back!

157
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,188
Hopeless.
Completely.

158
00:08:01,271 --> 00:08:03,398
Hey, Vic.
Hi.

159
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,610
Oh, shit. Guys, guys.

160
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,905
There's Nadia and
she just looked at me.

161
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,156
She just looked at me.

162
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,992
Well, why don't you
go talk to her?

163
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,203
Yeah.

164
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:19,497
Yeah, you're
right, Kev. I should just go talk to her.

165
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,877
Yeah, I could do that. Sure.

166
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,087
Sure.

167
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:30,258
Kev? Kev?

168
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:40,811
Yeah. Yeah.

169
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:48,231
<i>At last</i>

170
00:08:51,488 --> 00:08:54,032
<i>My love</i>

171
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,369
<i>Has come along</i>

172
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:04,080
<i>My lonely days are over</i>

173
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,255
That's great!

174
00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:12,133
<i>And life is like a song</i>

175
00:09:16,096 --> 00:09:18,556
<i>Oh, yeah, yeah</i>

176
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,892
<i>At last</i>

177
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,104
See you later.

178
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,356
<i>The stars above</i>

179
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,656
We're here for the party.

180
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,492
What party?
There's no party.

181
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:46,793
Weird. Try the house
down the street.

182
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:53,591
So, what's your major?

183
00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:55,718
Post-modern
feminist thought.

184
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:59,765
Oh, cool.
Great night, isn't it?

185
00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:00,974
Sure.

186
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:07,018
Yeah, it's just something about the
springtime that's just cool, you know?

187
00:10:08,023 --> 00:10:11,234
Like the smell of fresh rain
or something.

188
00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:12,402
Mmm.

189
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,864
Suck me, beautiful.

190
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,616
What did you just say?

191
00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:18,908
Suck me, beautiful.

192
00:10:21,703 --> 00:10:26,203
My friends call me "'Nova,"
as in Casanova.

193
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,251
That's pathetic.

194
00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:31,921
Jeez, you don't have
to laugh at me.

195
00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:34,465
Well, there's just some things
you need to learn, that's all.

196
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,177
Like what? Well, you've
got to tone it down.

197
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,221
You don't need to come
to a place like Lookout Point

198
00:10:39,304 --> 00:10:42,140
and spout off cheese
ball lines to be romantic.

199
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,433
Okay.

200
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,602
You have to pay
attention to a girl.

201
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:49,940
Be sensitive to her feelings.
Relationships are reciprocal.

202
00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:53,526
Come on, Casanova. I'll
take you back to your friends.

203
00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:03,494
Vicky, think it's time to take
the next step in our relationship?

204
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:04,663
Tonight?

205
00:11:04,746 --> 00:11:07,081
Yeah, it's such
a perfect evening.

206
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,835
I mean, it's how you've
always pictured it, isn't it?

207
00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:12,128
Man, my farts
fucking stink!

208
00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:15,506
Dude, you gotta take
a shit! You smell like a yeti!

209
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,759
Or not.

210
00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:20,595
Just relax.

211
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,060
You actually said that?

212
00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:31,022
Shut up!

213
00:11:31,106 --> 00:11:32,941
You did a hell of a lot
better than I did with Nadia.

214
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:36,194
Oh, thanks, Jim, that's
great. That's really reassuring.

215
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,863
Hey, no problem, 'Nova.

216
00:11:38,947 --> 00:11:42,742
Hey, don't call me 'Nova
anymore. I'm a... I'm a fraud.

217
00:11:42,826 --> 00:11:45,328
You guys are pathetic.

218
00:11:45,412 --> 00:11:48,331
I'm gonna find myself
a little hottie.

219
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:51,793
"Suck me, beautiful!"

220
00:11:57,257 --> 00:11:58,216
Let me know.

221
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,384
Okay.

222
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,844
Keep going.

223
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:04,639
I should be able
to talk to girls.

224
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,891
I'm articulate.

225
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:09,352
You know, I got a 720
on my SAT verbal.

226
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:11,521
Bullshit.
There's no way.

227
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:14,316
I kid you not, man.
Look. Listen.

228
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:19,070
Copious. Verisimilitude.

229
00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:22,949
Oh, oh. Now.

230
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,171
Suck me, beautiful!

231
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,256
Damn it, Stifler.

232
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:38,590
Checkout time!

233
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,592
Please, vacate the room.

234
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,761
You are such a jerk.

235
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:51,060
God, I can't believe how many
cool people are at this party.

236
00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:52,228
Yup.

237
00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:56,941
And you got a keg too!

238
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,067
Wow!

239
00:12:58,151 --> 00:12:59,485
Indeed.

240
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,911
Oh, wait.
I left my beer downstairs.

241
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,746
No. No. Here, babe!

242
00:13:12,582 --> 00:13:13,958
Thanks.

243
00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:17,045
You're really beautiful. Oh.

244
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,005
Really?

245
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,215
Oh, yeah.

246
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,817
You know what? I don't
know if I want to be doing this.

247
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,026
Doing what?

248
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,029
You know, like,
if we hook up tonight,

249
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:47,613
tomorrow I'll just be some girl
you go telling all your friends about.

250
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,327
No way!

251
00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:53,498
Steve, you could at least
look at me when you say that!

252
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:56,418
Look. Sarah,

253
00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:01,256
I wouldn't go telling stories
or anything about you.

254
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:05,840
I promise. So, just relax,

255
00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:09,764
take it slow and
let the good times roll.

256
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,351
Okay.

257
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:14,686
All right.

258
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:23,945
What's wrong?

259
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,450
What's wrong?
What is it?

260
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,246
Xenophobic.

261
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,664
Oh!

262
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:41,963
Regurgitation.

263
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,298
I know that one.

264
00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:45,842
Kevin likes it.

265
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,886
He likes getting head.

266
00:14:47,969 --> 00:14:50,471
Gee, what a total shocker.
What about you, Vicky?

267
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,932
I mean, have you just
never had one with Kevin,

268
00:14:53,016 --> 00:14:55,059
or have you never had one,
perlod?

269
00:14:55,143 --> 00:14:57,645
I've had one.

270
00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:59,689
Okay.
I think.

271
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:03,568
That's a no. No wonder
you're not psyched about sex.

272
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,695
You tell me you never
even had one manually?

273
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,113
I've never tried it.

274
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,032
You've never
double-clicked your mouse?

275
00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:12,577
Ha-ha, nice!

276
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:15,580
Jesus! Stifler,
how much did you drink, man?

277
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,750
Hey, Stifler?
How's the pale ale?

278
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,418
FUCK you!

279
00:15:23,755 --> 00:15:25,256
That's Stifler's mom?

280
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,924
Yup.

281
00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:31,508
Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman
like this produced a guy like Stifler.

282
00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:34,598
Dude, that chick's a MILF.

283
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,059
What the hell is that?

284
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,062
M-I-L-F.
Mom I'd like to fuck.

285
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,647
Yeah, dude!

286
00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:42,481
Oh, ho, yeah!

287
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:43,942
Yeah! MILF! MILF!
Yeah! MILF! MILF!

288
00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,818
Hey, guys. Guys. Guys.

289
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,153
Come here.

290
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,280
Sherman, what's going on?

291
00:15:49,364 --> 00:15:53,785
Yeah, don't you think you
fellas could try a little tact?

292
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,621
I got company,
if you know what I mean?

293
00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:01,125
She's hot!

294
00:16:04,754 --> 00:16:09,175
If Sherman has sex before I
do, I'm gonna be really pissed.

295
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:13,888
Sherman?
The Sherminator?

296
00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,892
Come on, man.

297
00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:22,730
MILF! MILF!
MILF! MILF!

298
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:27,110
Dude,hey,dude. What
are you doing to her, dude?

299
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,571
Oh, my God, bro. Dude.

300
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,032
Enough of this
blow job bullshit.

301
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:34,492
I gotta get laid already.

302
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,537
That's nice.
Really, really nice.

303
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,664
Can I have a ride?
Sure.

304
00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:43,042
Vicky, wait.
Not for you.

305
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:47,881
Yeti! I am the Yeti!

306
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,184
Good morning, gentlemen.
Finch.

307
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:00,601
Where were you
last night, huh?

308
00:17:00,685 --> 00:17:02,436
What happened to that
foolproof plan of yours?

309
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:07,021
Well, I was going for a fashionably-late
entrance and I was too late.

310
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,110
So, no ladies left.

311
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,738
It was a very
special night, very special.

312
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,324
Guys. Guys.

313
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,703
I'll never forget this.

314
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,080
Oh, I'll never forget it,
either.

315
00:17:21,164 --> 00:17:22,665
Thank you.

316
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:27,921
Well, bye.

317
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,632
Bye.

318
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:37,555
Fellas, say goodbye
to Chuck Sherman, the boy.

319
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:40,350
I am now a man.

320
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:42,726
I highly recommend
you join the club.

321
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:47,311
We were doing the wild
thing all night. I'm exhausted.

322
00:17:48,149 --> 00:17:51,026
I don't get it. I mean, how
the hell did you do that?

323
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,823
It was just my time.
It was just my time.

324
00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:59,660
Best of luck
to you boys.

325
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,540
- I cannot believe this.
- Come on, guys.

326
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:07,335
You know, we should
be happy for Sherman.

327
00:18:10,338 --> 00:18:12,048
No, we shouldn't be.

328
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,592
You know, I put in months
of quality time with Vicky.

329
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,595
Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.

330
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,680
This is just wrong.

331
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,431
No shit.

332
00:18:20,515 --> 00:18:23,518
How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man?

333
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:27,439
You know, we're all gonna go to college
as virgins. You realize this, right?

334
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:30,107
I mean, they probably have
special dorms for people like us.

335
00:18:30,191 --> 00:18:34,691
All right. I got an idea. But
it's got to stay between us.

336
00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:37,489
It's really simple. We just
got to make an agreement.

337
00:18:37,574 --> 00:18:40,451
No. It's more than
an agreement.

338
00:18:40,535 --> 00:18:42,036
What? A bet?
A pact.

339
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,622
No money involved. More
important than any bet.

340
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:48,209
Here's the deal. We all
get laid before we graduate.

341
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,756
Dude, it's not like I haven't
been trying to get laid.

342
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,424
Think about when
you work out, Oz.

343
00:18:54,507 --> 00:18:55,925
You gotta have
someone there, right?

344
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,970
Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you motivated.

345
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,306
Well, that's exactly what
we can do for each other.

346
00:19:01,389 --> 00:19:03,808
I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.

347
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,019
Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but together,

348
00:19:06,102 --> 00:19:08,479
we are the masters
of our sexual destiny.

349
00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:10,815
Their tiger-style kung fu is strong.

350
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,400
But our dragon-style
will defeat it.

351
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,068
Guys!
The Shaolin masters

352
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:16,154
from East and West
must unite!

353
00:19:16,237 --> 00:19:18,614
Fight, and find out who
is number one. Guys!

354
00:19:18,698 --> 00:19:20,991
Come on. You're
ruining my moment here.

355
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,787
This is our
very manhood at stake.

356
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:26,414
We must make a stand,
here and now.

357
00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:31,085
No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused!

358
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:35,256
We will fight for every man out there
who isn't getting laid and should be.

359
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,885
This is our day.
This is our time.

360
00:19:38,968 --> 00:19:43,180
And, by God, we will not stand by and
watch history condemn us into celibacy.

361
00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:44,848
Amen. Yes.
I like that.

362
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:48,853
We will make a stand. We
will succeed. About time!

363
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,022
We will get laid!

364
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,232
Yeah!

365
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:57,403
Now, the sex. It's got to
be valid, consensual sex.

366
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,615
No prostitutes. That's
what you're thinking, Finch.

367
00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:02,992
Busted.

368
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:05,828
So, basically,
prom is our last chance.

369
00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:08,372
Oh, dude. Prom sucks.
I know,

370
00:20:08,456 --> 00:20:10,458
but you gotta
think about it this way.

371
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,085
I mean,
all the parties afterwards?

372
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,794
The chicks are going to
want to do it.

373
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:17,381
Yeah, yeah, he's right. It's,
like, tradition or something.

374
00:20:17,465 --> 00:20:18,799
The Rose Bowl.

375
00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:20,509
So, that gives us...

376
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:22,678
Exactly three weeks
to the day.

377
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,099
We're gonna do this.
All right, to the next step!

378
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:29,059
Next step!
Next step!

379
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:35,604
<i>I have visions I was in them
I was looking into the mirror</i>

380
00:20:35,942 --> 00:20:38,819
<i>To see a little
bit clearer</i>

381
00:20:38,903 --> 00:20:41,655
<i>The rottenness
and evil in me</i>

382
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:48,325
<i>Fingertips have memories Mine
can't forget the curves of your body</i>

383
00:20:48,496 --> 00:20:51,874
<i>And when
I feel a bit naughty</i>

384
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,711
<i>I run it up the flagpole
and see</i>

385
00:20:54,794 --> 00:20:57,880
<i>Who salutes
but no one ever does</i>

386
00:20:57,964 --> 00:21:02,464
<i>I'm not sick,
but I'm not well</i>

387
00:21:02,635 --> 00:21:05,929
<i>And I'm so hot</i>

388
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,975
<i>'Cause I'm in hell</i>

389
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:14,643
<i>Been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding</i>

390
00:21:15,356 --> 00:21:19,318
<i>The cretins cloning and
feeding and I don't even own a TV</i>

391
00:21:19,402 --> 00:21:21,028
Well, did you get
the flowers?

392
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:25,908
<i>Hear the voices in my head,
I swear to God</i>

393
00:21:25,992 --> 00:21:28,786
<i>It sounds like
they're snoring</i>

394
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,372
<i>But if you're bored,
then you're boring</i>

395
00:21:31,956 --> 00:21:34,541
<i>The agony and the irony</i>

396
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:37,670
<i>They're killing me, whoa!</i>

397
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:42,133
<i>I'm not sick,
but I'm not well</i>

398
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:45,595
<i>And I'm so hot</i>

399
00:21:45,678 --> 00:21:48,055
<i>'Cause I'm in hell</i>

400
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,768
Don't worry. You'll get
her back soon enough.

401
00:21:51,851 --> 00:21:53,936
You think so?
Sure, she likes you.

402
00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:55,604
Well, I like her too.

403
00:21:55,688 --> 00:21:57,439
Do you love her?

404
00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:00,318
You know what? You
can't really ask me that.

405
00:22:00,401 --> 00:22:03,570
Well, if you want to get her in the
sack, I mean, just tell her you love her.

406
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,114
That's how I was duped.

407
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:06,449
Look, Jessica,

408
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:08,576
I don't want to dupe her.

409
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:14,457
All right. What you need to do is
learn how to press a girl's buttons.

410
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:16,251
You have to give her
what she's never had.

411
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:17,752
What's that?

412
00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:19,587
Let me give you a hint.

413
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:23,799
Oh, Kev! Yeah.

414
00:22:24,592 --> 00:22:27,261
Comprende?
You mean an orgasm.

415
00:22:27,345 --> 00:22:29,597
You got it, stud!
Well, you know,

416
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,724
I'm... I'm pretty sure
that I've given her a...

417
00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:33,684
No, you haven't.

418
00:22:33,768 --> 00:22:36,520
Well, there was one time...
No.

419
00:22:37,897 --> 00:22:38,898
Oh, man.

420
00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:40,233
Look, kid, it's up to you.

421
00:22:40,316 --> 00:22:43,277
The big L or the big O.

422
00:22:43,778 --> 00:22:45,070
Dickhead!

423
00:22:45,488 --> 00:22:47,573
You gotta see this.

424
00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,450
<i>Do you believe in magic</i>

425
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:50,868
<i>In a young girl's heart</i>

426
00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:54,455
<i>How the music can free her
whenever it starts</i>

427
00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:58,334
<i>And it's magic
if the music is groovy</i>

428
00:22:58,418 --> 00:22:59,961
<i>It makes you feel happy</i>

429
00:23:00,044 --> 00:23:01,837
What did you cocks
do to him?

430
00:23:01,921 --> 00:23:04,673
<i>I'll tell you about the
magic It'll free your soul</i>

431
00:23:04,757 --> 00:23:09,257
<i>But it's like trying to tell a
stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll</i>

432
00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:11,430
Great. See you next time.

433
00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:17,937
Hey, guys.
Came to watch me in action?

434
00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:19,063
Yeah.

435
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,565
I think you sounded
pretty good.

436
00:23:20,648 --> 00:23:21,774
Yeah, man.

437
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,943
I think you need
your balls reattached.

438
00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,445
Hey, keep it down, dude.

439
00:23:25,528 --> 00:23:26,987
What the fuck
are you doing here?

440
00:23:27,071 --> 00:23:29,698
This place is an
untapped resource.

441
00:23:29,782 --> 00:23:31,116
I mean, check it out.

442
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,410
These vocal jazz girls
are hot.

443
00:23:33,494 --> 00:23:36,330
Why the hell is he
joining jazz choir so late?

444
00:23:36,414 --> 00:23:39,875
Maybe he's preparing for
another senior year at East?

445
00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:42,712
You guys,
we don't even know him.

446
00:23:46,382 --> 00:23:47,883
You dipshit!

447
00:23:47,967 --> 00:23:51,720
You're expecting to score with
some goody-goody choir girl pries?

448
00:23:51,804 --> 00:23:56,304
These chicks don't know me. I can
work the sensitive angle here, fellas!

449
00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:58,895
You know, it's just like
that college chick told me.

450
00:23:58,978 --> 00:24:01,939
All that you gotta do
is just ask them questions

451
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,316
and listen to what
they have to say and shit.

452
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,653
I don't know, man. That
sounds like a lot of work!

453
00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:13,576
Just a second!

454
00:24:18,539 --> 00:24:20,874
Come in. Come in.

455
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:22,710
Oh, Jim, you're here.

456
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:26,631
I was just walking by
your room and...

457
00:24:26,714 --> 00:24:28,799
And, you know,
I was thinking,

458
00:24:28,883 --> 00:24:33,220
"Boy, it's been a long time since
we've had a little father-son chat."

459
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:38,726
Oh! I almost forgot.
I... I bought some magazines.

460
00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:42,772
Do you want to just flip
to the center section?

461
00:24:44,273 --> 00:24:46,984
Well, this is the...
This is the female form.

462
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:50,071
And they have
focused on the breasts

463
00:24:50,154 --> 00:24:54,654
which are used primarily
to feed young infants

464
00:24:54,742 --> 00:24:58,078
and also in foreplay.

465
00:24:58,162 --> 00:24:59,288
Right.

466
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:02,833
This is...
This is Hustler.

467
00:25:02,917 --> 00:25:06,587
And this is a much more
exotic magazine.

468
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:11,171
Now, they have decided to
focus more on the pubic region...

469
00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:15,346
Right. Uh-huh.
...the whole groin area.

470
00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:17,515
Look at the expression
on her face.

471
00:25:17,598 --> 00:25:19,266
You see that?
See what she's doing?

472
00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:22,937
She's kind of looking
right into your eyes saying,

473
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:26,315
"Hey, big boy.
Hey, how you doing?"

474
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:28,442
You see?
Right.

475
00:25:30,945 --> 00:25:34,448
Shaved is a magazine
I'm not too familiar with,

476
00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:37,326
but, again,
if you flip to the center

477
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:41,330
sectlon...

478
00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:45,209
Well, you see the detail that,
that they go into in this picture here.

479
00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:46,377
Yeah.

480
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:49,422
It almost looks like
a tropical plant or some

481
00:25:49,505 --> 00:25:51,340
underwater thing.
Yeah. Yes.

482
00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:53,342
Do you know what a
clitoris is? Oh, my God.

483
00:25:53,468 --> 00:25:55,511
Well, don't say, "Oh..."
Yes, I know what a clitoris is.

484
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:56,887
Oh, you do. Oh, I see.
Yes, you do.

485
00:25:56,971 --> 00:25:59,098
I forgot, you've been there
and back. You know everything.

486
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:00,349
I've learned about it
in Sex Ed.

487
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:01,892
I really don't need you
to talk about clitoris.

488
00:26:01,976 --> 00:26:03,102
I'm trying to
make this painless...

489
00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:05,354
You know what? I'm sorry.
Okay? I'm sorry.

490
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,439
<i>No, no, no.</i>

491
00:26:06,522 --> 00:26:09,775
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

492
00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:11,235
I shouldn't have
got hot there.

493
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:13,237
Well, you know what
I'm going to do, Jim.

494
00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:15,740
I'm going to just
leave these books here

495
00:26:15,823 --> 00:26:19,451
for you to peruse at your...
At your leisure.

496
00:26:20,411 --> 00:26:21,537
Wait!

497
00:26:27,627 --> 00:26:29,337
Well, safer than a tube sock.

498
00:26:31,964 --> 00:26:34,466
Okay, that... That
was good. Yeah.

499
00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:39,013
See you at dinner.

500
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,807
Yeah. I'll see you at dinner.

501
00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:43,935
So, Finch,
this is your plan?

502
00:26:44,018 --> 00:26:47,146
You know, I don't think girls
are into the whole mini-golf thing.

503
00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,482
Kevin, I'm sure
that they're not.

504
00:26:49,565 --> 00:26:53,068
Actually, there is one small matter
that I need to ask for your cooperation in.

505
00:26:53,152 --> 00:26:54,695
In the spirit of this
whole pact, you know?

506
00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:55,905
Sure, what do you need?

507
00:26:55,988 --> 00:26:57,823
Whatever you hear about me,
you agree.

508
00:26:57,907 --> 00:26:59,783
And tell all the boys
the same thing.

509
00:26:59,867 --> 00:27:03,620
Look, I gotta go.
16 minutes round-trip.

510
00:27:03,704 --> 00:27:06,164
You know, Finch, it's,
it's senior year.

511
00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:09,293
I mean, don't you think it's time you
learned how to take a dump at school?

512
00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:12,088
When was the last time you
looked at the facilities in this school?

513
00:27:20,012 --> 00:27:21,805
Excuse me.

514
00:27:21,889 --> 00:27:23,473
That's Paul Finch, right?

515
00:27:23,558 --> 00:27:24,642
Yeah.

516
00:27:24,725 --> 00:27:27,644
Well, you've seen him
in the locker room, right?

517
00:27:27,728 --> 00:27:28,812
Yeah.

518
00:27:28,896 --> 00:27:32,232
So, my friends, they
want to know. Is it true?

519
00:27:32,316 --> 00:27:35,193
You know,
that he's equipped.

520
00:27:35,278 --> 00:27:38,489
I have no idea. Finch
showers with his bathing suit on.

521
00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:40,116
I mean...

522
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,786
As a matter of fact, it
is true. The guy's huge!

523
00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:46,330
Does he have a date
for the prom yet?

524
00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:48,165
No, definitely not.

525
00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:49,959
All right. Thanks.

526
00:27:51,127 --> 00:27:52,253
Oh, man!

527
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:58,672
So I was thinking maybe you could
give me some advice, brother to brother.

528
00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:02,471
<i>I thought you might know
a trick or something to make her...</i>

529
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:04,765
Orgasm?
Yeah.

530
00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:06,851
What's good here?

531
00:28:06,934 --> 00:28:08,560
Try the spicy tuna
hand roll. <i>What?</i>

532
00:28:09,103 --> 00:28:12,439
How do you do that? Hey, never
mind that. Listen, pay attention.

533
00:28:12,523 --> 00:28:15,484
Is that all that you're interested
in, trying to get your girl into bed?

534
00:28:15,568 --> 00:28:19,113
No, it'd be good to be able
to, you know, return the favor.

535
00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:21,699
<i>Be nice to know she enjoys
things as much as I do.</i>

536
00:28:21,782 --> 00:28:24,951
See that? That's good. That's what
I wanted to hear. Now, you qualify.

537
00:28:25,411 --> 00:28:26,620
Qualify for what?

538
00:28:26,704 --> 00:28:28,622
My man, you've just
inherited the Bible.

539
00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:34,670
<i>It originally started
as a sex manual,</i>

540
00:28:34,754 --> 00:28:37,423
<i>this book that some guys
brought back from Amsterdam.</i>

541
00:28:37,506 --> 00:28:40,884
<i>And each year it got passed on to
one East student who was worthy.</i>

542
00:28:40,968 --> 00:28:45,389
<i>Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff
that guys have added over the years.</i>

543
00:28:47,391 --> 00:28:51,603
<i>But you have to keep it a secret
and return it at the end of the year.</i>

544
00:28:51,687 --> 00:28:54,564
<i>All right.
So now you know. Good luck.</i>

545
00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:05,117
<i>If you
believe in magic Magic</i>

546
00:29:05,201 --> 00:29:09,701
<i>Don't you bother to choose if it's
jug band music or rhythm and blues</i>

547
00:29:10,289 --> 00:29:13,750
<i>Just go and listen
It will start with a smile</i>

548
00:29:13,834 --> 00:29:17,587
<i>That won't wipe off your face
no matter how hard you try</i>

549
00:29:17,672 --> 00:29:22,172
<i>Your feet start tapping and you
can't seem to find, how you got there</i>

550
00:29:23,177 --> 00:29:25,888
<i>Do you believe in magic?</i>

551
00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:30,472
<i>Scooby-dooby doo bah
Scoo-Scooby-dooby Dooby-dooby doo bah</i>

552
00:29:30,726 --> 00:29:32,853
<i>Yeah, magic</i>

553
00:29:33,521 --> 00:29:35,064
What was that?

554
00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:38,359
Sorry.
No, it was good.

555
00:29:41,028 --> 00:29:44,281
Well, it, uh...
It came from the heart.

556
00:29:44,365 --> 00:29:47,951
Well, keep it coming.
All right, people, good work!

557
00:29:48,035 --> 00:29:50,954
Now, don't forget. The state
competition's a couple of weeks away

558
00:29:51,038 --> 00:29:53,206
so keep on it, okay?

559
00:30:04,552 --> 00:30:06,095
Not bad, Chris.

560
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:08,514
Really?

561
00:30:10,224 --> 00:30:13,227
Yeah.
Thanks, Heather, right?

562
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:17,439
So, you've got this sort of
Frank Sinatra thing going on.

563
00:30:17,523 --> 00:30:21,693
Right. I feel like I've discovered
this whole new side of me.

564
00:30:21,777 --> 00:30:24,404
I mean,
music is so expressive.

565
00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:28,033
Okay. I mean, I agree, but,

566
00:30:28,117 --> 00:30:31,161
aren't you supposed to be out,
like, trying to decapitate someone

567
00:30:31,245 --> 00:30:32,829
with your lacrosse stick
or something?

568
00:30:32,913 --> 00:30:35,457
Oh, sure. Sure.

569
00:30:35,541 --> 00:30:37,668
You know, I know what
people think. It's like,

570
00:30:37,752 --> 00:30:40,504
"Oz, he's just this
kick-ass lacrosse player."

571
00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:43,382
You know, I also play football,
by the way, but that's, like,

572
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:45,134
that's not all that I am,
you know?

573
00:30:45,217 --> 00:30:46,343
Of course, I didn't...

574
00:30:46,427 --> 00:30:50,927
I mean, it really bothers me when
people try to pigeonhole me like that.

575
00:30:51,474 --> 00:30:52,600
<i>You'?</i>

576
00:30:53,768 --> 00:30:55,770
You think
I don't get that?

577
00:30:55,853 --> 00:30:59,815
God, it's like just because I don't
get drunk and barf every weekend

578
00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:04,399
that people say, "Oh, look. There's
this goody two-shoes choir girl pries."

579
00:31:04,570 --> 00:31:07,781
Yeah. So, like,
what else do you do?

580
00:31:08,783 --> 00:31:12,119
Well, the same things you do,

581
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:14,538
like hang out with friends
and stuff.

582
00:31:14,622 --> 00:31:15,706
Why? What do you think I do?

583
00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:16,999
Oh, I...

584
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:20,127
I just realized that I don't
know anything about you.

585
00:31:20,211 --> 00:31:21,545
I was interested.

586
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:25,174
Oh, well,
what do you want to know?

587
00:31:25,257 --> 00:31:28,134
You know, stuff, about you.

588
00:31:30,971 --> 00:31:32,347
All right.

589
00:31:34,934 --> 00:31:37,269
Mom, I'm home!

590
00:32:34,827 --> 00:32:37,120
Oh, yeah. Oh!

591
00:32:39,665 --> 00:32:43,293
Jim!
It's not what it looks like.

592
00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:54,805
Well, we'll just tell your
mother that, that we ate it all.

593
00:33:35,679 --> 00:33:38,431
<i>Goal by
number eight, Chris Ostreicher.</i>

594
00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:44,229
Nice game.
Nice game. Good game.

595
00:33:47,691 --> 00:33:50,443
Hey, what are you
doing here?

596
00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:54,073
Just enjoying my first
exhilarating lacrosse experience.

597
00:33:54,156 --> 00:33:56,741
You kicked butt.
Oh, thanks.

598
00:33:57,409 --> 00:34:00,078
Chris... Oh, you can
call me Oz, if you want.

599
00:34:00,162 --> 00:34:02,080
Do I have to?
You can call me Ostreicher.

600
00:34:02,164 --> 00:34:03,331
What's your middle name?

601
00:34:03,415 --> 00:34:04,582
No, forget it.

602
00:34:04,667 --> 00:34:06,085
Come on.
I won't tell anyone.

603
00:34:06,168 --> 00:34:08,086
Well, neither will I.

604
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:09,922
Okay.

605
00:34:11,632 --> 00:34:15,427
So, I had this thought, and

606
00:34:15,511 --> 00:34:17,763
it may seem like
it's way out of left field.

607
00:34:17,846 --> 00:34:19,222
I don't know if you can,

608
00:34:19,306 --> 00:34:22,600
but since I'm not going with
anybody, I thought that maybe...

609
00:34:22,685 --> 00:34:25,312
Those guys sucked ass!

610
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:28,232
Choir chick, what the
hell are you doing here?

611
00:34:28,315 --> 00:34:32,569
Well, I was
asking Chris to prom.

612
00:34:32,653 --> 00:34:34,363
So, do you want to go?

613
00:34:34,446 --> 00:34:37,824
Oh, yeah!
That would be great.

614
00:34:38,784 --> 00:34:41,286
Well, just don't expect Oz
to pay for the limo!

615
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:44,247
Stifler, fuck! I mean...

616
00:34:45,416 --> 00:34:48,669
Why do you got to be
so insensitive all the time?

617
00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:50,713
What?

618
00:34:52,464 --> 00:34:55,758
Whatever. Look, don't forget.
My cottage after prom.

619
00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:57,511
On Lake Michigan.

620
00:34:59,346 --> 00:35:01,681
Hey, wait up, you pussies.
Where you going?

621
00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:05,810
Well, I gotta...
I gotta hit the showers now

622
00:35:05,894 --> 00:35:09,647
but I think this is gonna
be really, really good.

623
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:12,276
Yeah. Me too.

624
00:35:12,359 --> 00:35:13,401
All right.

625
00:35:13,485 --> 00:35:15,653
Bye. Bye.
Bye.

626
00:35:21,702 --> 00:35:25,580
'Appening Oz!
Working with the choir chick?

627
00:35:25,664 --> 00:35:29,459
What do you say, fellas? I just dig
those cute little sweaters she wears.

628
00:35:29,543 --> 00:35:32,045
Nuts you do,
you little horn dog.

629
00:35:33,339 --> 00:35:36,342
Yeah! Yeah, baby!

630
00:35:36,425 --> 00:35:40,387
Spank me! Spank me!
Hit that high C.

631
00:35:46,435 --> 00:35:48,645
Come on!
What's going on here?

632
00:35:52,983 --> 00:35:55,652
I was being selfish
and majorly insensitive.

633
00:35:55,736 --> 00:35:58,488
I'm a... I'm a total idiot.
I mean, a fool, a buffoon.

634
00:35:58,572 --> 00:36:00,949
I think shithead
really says it.

635
00:36:01,033 --> 00:36:03,827
You know what? You're
right. I'm a shithead,

636
00:36:03,911 --> 00:36:05,787
and I want to
make it up to you.

637
00:36:05,871 --> 00:36:07,914
Oh, yeah? How?

638
00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:12,336
<i>Oh, make me over</i>

639
00:36:12,419 --> 00:36:14,879
Vicky.
Your parents are downstairs.

640
00:36:14,963 --> 00:36:16,381
Kevin, don't stop!

641
00:36:16,465 --> 00:36:17,757
Just a second.

642
00:36:17,841 --> 00:36:21,177
<i>A walking study</i>

643
00:36:21,261 --> 00:36:22,845
<i>In demonology</i>

644
00:36:23,180 --> 00:36:26,433
<i>Hey, so glad
you could make it</i>

645
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:29,603
<i>Yeah, now you really made it</i>

646
00:36:32,147 --> 00:36:35,358
Hon, can you tell Vic
to come on down for supper?

647
00:36:36,443 --> 00:36:38,027
Holy shit!

648
00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:41,031
You know there's
no lock on your door?

649
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:50,999
Oh! I'm coming! I'm coming!

650
00:36:55,087 --> 00:36:56,588
Oh, Jim!
Dad.

651
00:36:56,672 --> 00:37:00,133
Hi, I was just looking at the
old family portrait out here.

652
00:37:01,218 --> 00:37:03,303
Well, that was a fun day,
wasn't it?

653
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:06,139
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

654
00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:09,643
Jim, I want to
talk about masturbation.

655
00:37:09,727 --> 00:37:14,227
Now, I just want you to know
that it's, it's a perfectly normal thing.

656
00:37:14,565 --> 00:37:16,483
And I have to admit,
you know,

657
00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:21,067
I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger.

658
00:37:21,196 --> 00:37:24,991
I, I used to call it
"stroking the salami."

659
00:37:25,075 --> 00:37:28,495
Yeah, you know,
"pounding the ol' pud."

660
00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:31,456
I never did it
with baked goods.

661
00:37:31,540 --> 00:37:32,749
But you know
your Uncle Mort?

662
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:35,418
He "pinched the one-eyed
snake" five, six times a day.

663
00:37:35,502 --> 00:37:39,589
See, it's like,
practice for the big game.

664
00:37:39,673 --> 00:37:43,051
You see?
It's like... It's like,

665
00:37:43,135 --> 00:37:46,263
banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall.

666
00:37:46,346 --> 00:37:50,350
Which can be fun. It can
be fun, but it's not a game.

667
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,811
Right. No.
It's not a game.

668
00:37:52,895 --> 00:37:56,231
What you want is you want
a partner to return the ball.

669
00:37:56,315 --> 00:37:58,108
Do you want a partner?

670
00:37:58,192 --> 00:38:00,068
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, I want a partner.

671
00:38:00,152 --> 00:38:01,987
You do want a partner?
Oh, I want a partner.

672
00:38:02,112 --> 00:38:04,864
You want a partner.
Good. Good. Of course.

673
00:38:06,575 --> 00:38:07,701
Good.

674
00:38:08,952 --> 00:38:11,704
So, once Hal
becomes king, he has to take on

675
00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:14,708
the responsibilities of
leadership and turn his back

676
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:17,544
on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.

677
00:38:17,628 --> 00:38:21,923
You see, Hal is going through a
rite of passage, much like you all are.

678
00:38:22,007 --> 00:38:26,386
So make most of the time you've
got left together. You'll miss it later.

679
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:28,889
So, does your tongue
cramp up?

680
00:38:28,972 --> 00:38:31,516
No. You get kind of
dizzy, though.

681
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,684
Wow.

682
00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:36,313
That's amazing. She's probably
gonna want to do it soon.

683
00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:41,902
All right.
Class dismissed.

684
00:38:44,738 --> 00:38:48,241
Still questing after
the Holy Grail, huh, guys?

685
00:38:52,913 --> 00:38:54,706
Hey, where's Finch?

686
00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:57,375
Oh, he went home
to take a shit.

687
00:38:57,459 --> 00:38:58,793
I don't get it.
I just don't.

688
00:38:58,877 --> 00:39:01,629
How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation?

689
00:39:01,713 --> 00:39:03,131
What reputation?

690
00:39:03,215 --> 00:39:04,466
Observe.

691
00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:09,513
Excuse me. Do you
know who Paul Finch is?

692
00:39:09,596 --> 00:39:13,349
Yeah! He's the guy
with the tattoo, right?

693
00:39:13,433 --> 00:39:16,602
You know, the eagle and the
blazing fire and all that stuff.

694
00:39:18,063 --> 00:39:22,233
Well, if you guys see him later,
will you tell him Courtney says hi?

695
00:39:22,317 --> 00:39:23,401
Bye.

696
00:39:26,154 --> 00:39:28,573
Okay. Explain.

697
00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:29,783
I can't.

698
00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:31,827
I don't know how
he's doing it.

699
00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:35,247
I guess that
just leaves Jim trailing.

700
00:39:35,330 --> 00:39:37,790
Jimbo!
Better sack up, buddy!

701
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:40,127
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on it, all right?

702
00:39:40,210 --> 00:39:41,502
James?

703
00:39:41,587 --> 00:39:44,798
You are very good in the
world history class, yes?

704
00:39:44,882 --> 00:39:47,676
Me? Yes. No...

705
00:39:47,759 --> 00:39:48,968
Yes, I am.

706
00:39:49,052 --> 00:39:51,512
Perhaps you could
help me with my studies.

707
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:53,640
Yeah. Absolutely.

708
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:55,934
That would
be... That would be great sometime.

709
00:39:56,018 --> 00:39:57,561
How about tomorrow?

710
00:39:57,644 --> 00:40:00,647
Well, I have
ballet practice.

711
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:03,984
Perhaps, I could come
by your house afterwards?

712
00:40:04,067 --> 00:40:06,069
I could change clothes
at your place.

713
00:40:09,072 --> 00:40:11,741
Oh. Yeah.

714
00:40:11,825 --> 00:40:14,369
I suppose
that would be okay. Sure.

715
00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,046
Nice car!

716
00:40:26,131 --> 00:40:27,298
I'm glad you think so.

717
00:40:27,382 --> 00:40:28,674
You don't like it?

718
00:40:28,759 --> 00:40:32,053
No, I like the car. By the
way, though, about prom?

719
00:40:32,137 --> 00:40:35,348
That was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I invited you.

720
00:40:35,432 --> 00:40:36,808
What are you
talking about?

721
00:40:36,892 --> 00:40:38,351
Please.

722
00:40:38,435 --> 00:40:41,896
I asked you because I thought you
might actually be worth going with.

723
00:40:41,980 --> 00:40:45,191
But you are just a jock.
No, wait. You're a jerk.

724
00:40:46,401 --> 00:40:48,861
Wait! I don't understand.

725
00:40:48,946 --> 00:40:52,532
I saw you making fun of me
with your lacrosse buddies.

726
00:40:52,616 --> 00:40:53,950
Heather, I wasn't
making fun of you.

727
00:40:54,034 --> 00:40:56,619
Give me a break.
You're so full of it.

728
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:01,500
Fuck me!

729
00:41:01,583 --> 00:41:05,336
There's gonna be an Eastern
European chick naked in your house.

730
00:41:05,420 --> 00:41:07,797
And you're not gonna
do anything about that?

731
00:41:07,881 --> 00:41:11,009
What am I gonna do, huh?
Broadcast her over the Internet?

732
00:41:11,927 --> 00:41:14,512
Yeah.
You can do that?

733
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:22,104
No. I cannot
do that to her.

734
00:41:22,729 --> 00:41:25,648
Jim, get some
fucking balls.

735
00:41:26,149 --> 00:41:28,568
If you don't have the guts
to photograph a naked chick,

736
00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:30,487
how you gonna
sleep with one?

737
00:41:31,113 --> 00:41:33,281
I don't like the kid,
but he's got a point.

738
00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:37,077
See, even shit-brick
knows you should do it.

739
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,872
All you gotta do is set up some sort
of private link or whatever on the net

740
00:41:40,956 --> 00:41:42,332
and tell me the address.

741
00:41:42,749 --> 00:41:45,460
You can send me
the address too.

742
00:41:45,544 --> 00:41:47,379
I'll save you a seat.

743
00:41:48,797 --> 00:41:53,297
<i>How sweet
it is to be loved by you, by you</i>

744
00:41:53,969 --> 00:41:57,013
<i>I needed the shelter
of someone's arms</i>

745
00:41:57,097 --> 00:41:58,556
<i>Someone's arms</i>

746
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,433
There you were

747
00:42:00,517 --> 00:42:02,268
<i>You were, oh</i>

748
00:42:02,352 --> 00:42:06,852
<i>I needed someone to
understand my ups and downs</i>

749
00:42:07,149 --> 00:42:09,276
There you were

750
00:42:09,359 --> 00:42:12,820
Okay, that was good, but I
want to thicken up that solo.

751
00:42:12,904 --> 00:42:16,407
Michigan State is this Saturday,
and I want that part to smoke.

752
00:42:16,491 --> 00:42:17,742
Yeah, I know,
my timing's off.

753
00:42:17,826 --> 00:42:21,996
No, it's not that. I think it'll work
better as a duet with a tenor part.

754
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,498
I'll do it.

755
00:42:25,542 --> 00:42:26,668
Dick.

756
00:42:27,335 --> 00:42:30,046
I'll do it.
Great. See you tomorrow.

757
00:42:37,137 --> 00:42:38,888
Why are you doing this?

758
00:42:38,972 --> 00:42:40,056
'Cause I want to.

759
00:42:40,140 --> 00:42:44,477
Yeah? Well, you can't
fake this. You better practice.

760
00:42:58,450 --> 00:42:59,742
Come in.

761
00:43:00,952 --> 00:43:05,452
Jim? There's a, a young
lady here to see you.

762
00:43:05,832 --> 00:43:07,834
Hey, Nadia.
Hi, James. Ready to study?

763
00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:10,670
Oh, he's always ready to study.
He's a real bookworm, this kid.

764
00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:12,005
Dad.
I mean,

765
00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:14,132
he's not, not one of those
nerdy guys but...

766
00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:15,508
Dad!

767
00:43:15,592 --> 00:43:18,928
Well, I'll, I'll let you two
hit the books.

768
00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:24,976
You want a beer?

769
00:43:26,394 --> 00:43:27,520
Oh, there we go.

770
00:43:28,063 --> 00:43:29,564
Come on, move!

771
00:43:30,524 --> 00:43:34,819
Steve! It's my computer!
And I wanna use it!

772
00:43:34,903 --> 00:43:36,154
Shut up!

773
00:43:36,613 --> 00:43:39,824
Oh, you need
to... You need to change, right?

774
00:43:39,908 --> 00:43:42,118
Do you mind?
No. No, not at all.

775
00:43:42,202 --> 00:43:46,039
Please, you know. Just go
ahead and get un... Get changed.

776
00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:49,209
I'll, I'll go downstairs
and start studying up.

777
00:43:49,292 --> 00:43:50,793
Yeah.
Okay.

778
00:43:51,628 --> 00:43:54,047
All right, there he goes.
Oh.

779
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,049
Now we're in business.

780
00:43:58,593 --> 00:44:00,636
Back in a sec.
Jimmy, honey...

781
00:44:12,774 --> 00:44:17,069
<i>He pauses shaving and he
tells himself that he is the bomb</i>

782
00:44:17,154 --> 00:44:21,654
<i>She has her curlers set Her
credit cards are paying the funds</i>

783
00:44:21,741 --> 00:44:24,034
<i>He's not that old
I've been told</i>

784
00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:25,537
Here she is.

785
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,581
Did I miss anything?

786
00:44:28,665 --> 00:44:30,750
No. You are just in time.

787
00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:33,294
- Oh. Oh!
- This is incredible.

788
00:44:34,671 --> 00:44:36,923
Oh, my God!
This is too much.

789
00:44:37,007 --> 00:44:40,760
Oh, did you see?
Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez.

790
00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,929
God bless the Internet.

791
00:44:44,806 --> 00:44:46,933
- Do it. Take it off.
- Oh, my God.

792
00:44:47,017 --> 00:44:48,018
Oh!

793
00:44:48,101 --> 00:44:51,062
Oh, thank you, God, for
this wonderful, wonderful day.

794
00:44:51,146 --> 00:44:53,106
Man, she takes
her vitamins.

795
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:55,901
<i>And it is way
too unhealthy</i>

796
00:44:55,984 --> 00:44:57,986
<i>Often they've typically</i>

797
00:44:58,069 --> 00:44:59,987
Stop hyperventilating.

798
00:45:04,868 --> 00:45:09,289
This is, like, the coolest
thing I've ever seen.

799
00:45:09,372 --> 00:45:10,664
I know.

800
00:45:12,542 --> 00:45:17,042
Can you believe... This is definitely
one of Stifler's best ideas ever.

801
00:45:17,380 --> 00:45:18,881
What is she...
She's touching my stuff.

802
00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:21,342
- Why is she touching my stuff?
- Man, let her touch.

803
00:45:21,468 --> 00:45:24,721
She's going through my stuff!
Nadia can touch anything she wants.

804
00:45:32,145 --> 00:45:34,355
Oh.
Oh, no. Oh, no.

805
00:45:34,481 --> 00:45:36,941
No, no. Oh, nice
collection there, Jim.

806
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:39,902
She's gonna leave.
She's definitely gonna...

807
00:45:39,986 --> 00:45:42,613
She's getting comfortable.
She's not gonna leave.

808
00:45:42,697 --> 00:45:44,615
She reads the articles.

809
00:45:58,046 --> 00:45:59,255
Is she?

810
00:46:00,674 --> 00:46:02,592
She's going downstairs.

811
00:46:13,478 --> 00:46:16,063
Oh, my God!

812
00:46:16,147 --> 00:46:17,523
Jackpot, baby!

813
00:46:17,607 --> 00:46:18,774
Can you believe this?

814
00:46:18,858 --> 00:46:20,734
Nadia,
I would have never known.

815
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:22,445
I have an announcement
that I would like to make.

816
00:46:22,529 --> 00:46:27,029
There is a gorgeous woman
masturbating on my bed!

817
00:46:27,867 --> 00:46:29,368
Thank you, Nadia!

818
00:46:29,452 --> 00:46:33,205
If you ever had a chance
with Nadia, this is it.

819
00:46:34,499 --> 00:46:35,833
What am I supposed
to do, Kev?

820
00:46:36,334 --> 00:46:37,460
Seduce her.

821
00:46:39,796 --> 00:46:41,464
What the hell
would I say?

822
00:46:41,548 --> 00:46:44,759
Go over there and ask her
if she needs an extra hand.

823
00:46:44,843 --> 00:46:45,844
That's stupid, Kev.
I can't...

824
00:46:45,927 --> 00:46:48,554
That's not stupid! You're
stupid if you don't go!

825
00:46:48,638 --> 00:46:50,556
Come on!
Get over there!

826
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,974
Get going, man.
She's prime.

827
00:46:52,058 --> 00:46:53,142
Get out of here!

828
00:46:53,226 --> 00:46:56,604
She's waiting for you.
Okay, all right. I'm going.

829
00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:57,897
Go! Go!
I'm going!

830
00:46:57,981 --> 00:46:59,983
Go!Go!Go!Go!
Oh, shit.

831
00:47:09,242 --> 00:47:12,912
<i>She's open
waiting for more</i>

832
00:47:12,996 --> 00:47:17,496
<i>And I know he's only
looking to score</i>

833
00:47:17,625 --> 00:47:20,794
<i>And it's way too unhealthy
Often they've typically</i>

834
00:47:20,879 --> 00:47:22,171
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.

835
00:47:22,255 --> 00:47:25,591
<i>Been starved
for attention before</i>

836
00:47:28,678 --> 00:47:31,138
Oh, boy. Oh, God.
Oh, crap. Oh, no.

837
00:47:33,933 --> 00:47:35,017
Hello?

838
00:47:35,101 --> 00:47:37,770
Looks like Jim addressed
the e-mail wrong.

839
00:47:37,854 --> 00:47:38,938
What?

840
00:47:39,022 --> 00:47:42,358
It went out to every mailbox
in the East High directory.

841
00:47:42,442 --> 00:47:43,943
God, how juvenile.

842
00:47:44,652 --> 00:47:46,153
Hey, hey, hey, guys!

843
00:47:46,237 --> 00:47:47,279
<i>Baby!</i>

844
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:50,700
Check this out!
Oh, my God! Wow!

845
00:47:53,495 --> 00:47:54,537
Oh.

846
00:47:56,206 --> 00:48:00,293
Please, God,
let this be it.

847
00:48:00,377 --> 00:48:01,586
Please?

848
00:48:06,132 --> 00:48:07,466
Somebody's going in there.

849
00:48:12,555 --> 00:48:14,848
Here you go.
That's what you need to do.

850
00:48:14,933 --> 00:48:16,726
That guy's in my trig class.
Oh, no.

851
00:48:19,562 --> 00:48:21,564
Looks like you could
use an extra hand.

852
00:48:21,648 --> 00:48:22,815
Jim!

853
00:48:22,899 --> 00:48:25,443
Well... Oh, God.
Shame on you.

854
00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:28,154
Yeah, shame on me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

855
00:48:28,238 --> 00:48:30,865
You know, I'm just gonna go.
Well,

856
00:48:32,325 --> 00:48:33,993
you have seen me.

857
00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:37,288
Now, it's my turn to see you.

858
00:48:39,207 --> 00:48:40,416
Strip!

859
00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:43,836
Strip?
Slowly.

860
00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:49,008
You mean, like,
strip, strip?

861
00:48:49,092 --> 00:48:50,301
For me.

862
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,347
What is he talking
to her about?

863
00:48:54,431 --> 00:48:56,182
No idea.

864
00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:58,851
Come on, Jim. People
are viewing. Get to business.

865
00:49:02,439 --> 00:49:03,690
Perfect!

866
00:49:05,525 --> 00:49:08,152
Move, James! Move!
Yeah, yeah. Move.

867
00:49:16,536 --> 00:49:18,955
Go, trig boy!
It's your birthday!

868
00:49:30,008 --> 00:49:31,634
No! No. No.
Please, God.

869
00:49:33,136 --> 00:49:34,137
What's going on?

870
00:49:39,809 --> 00:49:42,102
Yes!
All right. Get in the mix!

871
00:49:42,187 --> 00:49:43,396
See there.
Oh, okay.

872
00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:47,692
This is disgusting.

873
00:49:48,651 --> 00:49:50,569
What the fuck is this?

874
00:49:53,114 --> 00:49:54,740
Cut it out, man!

875
00:50:00,246 --> 00:50:01,372
Yeah.

876
00:50:14,511 --> 00:50:15,678
Freak.

877
00:50:20,767 --> 00:50:22,685
He did not just
take out that chair.

878
00:50:22,769 --> 00:50:24,145
Yup, he took out the chair.

879
00:50:24,229 --> 00:50:26,439
More, more, you bad boy!

880
00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:30,318
Oh, yeah, I'm bad.
I'm naughty, baby. Yeah!

881
00:50:31,194 --> 00:50:33,070
Oh, God!

882
00:50:34,822 --> 00:50:37,407
<i>Calling your name</i>

883
00:50:37,492 --> 00:50:39,911
<i>Calling your name</i>

884
00:50:39,994 --> 00:50:42,496
Now, come to me.

885
00:50:42,580 --> 00:50:44,123
Oh, yeah.

886
00:50:53,049 --> 00:50:54,633
Here we go.
He's in, man.

887
00:50:55,051 --> 00:50:56,052
<i>Calling</i>

888
00:50:56,135 --> 00:50:57,344
This just got
a hell of a lot better.

889
00:50:57,428 --> 00:50:58,971
Be gentle.

890
00:50:59,055 --> 00:51:00,431
Okay.

891
00:51:02,392 --> 00:51:05,478
<i>Calling your name</i>

892
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:08,231
<i>Calling your name</i>

893
00:51:11,109 --> 00:51:14,570
Oh!
Jim?

894
00:51:14,946 --> 00:51:16,447
Oh, no.
Oh, no.

895
00:51:16,531 --> 00:51:19,825
Oh. Oh!
You've done that before, dude.

896
00:51:19,909 --> 00:51:21,035
Houston,
we have a problem.

897
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,373
What happened?
What did he do?

898
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,209
He blew it.

899
00:51:29,168 --> 00:51:30,586
I guess I'll be going now.

900
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:35,170
No,no,no, I'm not done,
Nadia. I've got reserves.

901
00:51:36,426 --> 00:51:39,137
Nadia, please, please.
I'm begging you.

902
00:51:39,220 --> 00:51:42,181
Well, I do like
your dirty magazines.

903
00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:46,765
You do? Okay.
Well. Did, did you see this one?

904
00:51:47,645 --> 00:51:52,145
This here is your, is your
more exotic, risque magazine.

905
00:51:52,650 --> 00:51:54,818
He's pulling out the porn.
He's desperate.

906
00:51:54,902 --> 00:51:56,320
Jim, just wait
till she leaves.

907
00:51:56,613 --> 00:51:59,198
Very arousing women.
They arouse me...

908
00:51:59,282 --> 00:52:01,325
They arouse me
very, very much.

909
00:52:01,409 --> 00:52:05,746
But... But not as
arousing as you.

910
00:52:05,830 --> 00:52:09,208
Oh, Jim!
Oh, God!

911
00:52:13,796 --> 00:52:15,130
Yes!
Yes!

912
00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:19,176
He's ruining daisy!

913
00:52:22,597 --> 00:52:25,975
So, "shaved"
is the expression?

914
00:52:30,188 --> 00:52:31,480
Holy shit.

915
00:52:31,564 --> 00:52:32,982
Holy shit!

916
00:52:33,191 --> 00:52:34,609
Holy shit!

917
00:52:35,068 --> 00:52:36,194
Holy shit!

918
00:52:36,277 --> 00:52:37,861
Touch me, Jim.

919
00:52:40,531 --> 00:52:41,657
Here.

920
00:52:42,241 --> 00:52:44,201
Oh. Oh.

921
00:52:45,578 --> 00:52:46,579
Again?

922
00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:48,039
Not again.

923
00:52:48,164 --> 00:52:49,665
Not again, man!

924
00:52:50,124 --> 00:52:51,208
Is that possible?

925
00:52:51,834 --> 00:52:53,335
What a loser.

926
00:52:57,423 --> 00:52:58,507
Hey!

927
00:53:21,072 --> 00:53:25,534
<i>I needed someone
to understand my ups and downs</i>

928
00:53:25,618 --> 00:53:28,370
There you were

929
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:32,875
<i>With sweet love
and devotion</i>

930
00:53:32,959 --> 00:53:35,628
<i>Deeply touching my emotion</i>

931
00:53:35,712 --> 00:53:40,212
<i>I just wanna stop
and thank you, baby</i>

932
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,971
Hey, minute man!
Shut up.

933
00:53:45,054 --> 00:53:47,306
You know... You know you're
supposed to be supportive.

934
00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:50,559
Hey, you think you still
got a chance with Nadia?

935
00:53:51,894 --> 00:53:54,521
No. Her sponsors here
saw the thing on the net.

936
00:53:54,605 --> 00:53:56,940
I really don't think
they liked it.

937
00:53:57,024 --> 00:53:58,900
How do you know that?

938
00:53:59,026 --> 00:54:01,153
She's already on a plane
back home.

939
00:54:01,237 --> 00:54:02,404
Yeah.

940
00:54:03,197 --> 00:54:07,159
You know, guys? Maybe I'm
just not good with girls, period.

941
00:54:07,243 --> 00:54:10,579
No, no, no, really, really. Like, like I
was born without that part of the brain.

942
00:54:10,663 --> 00:54:12,665
I mean,
I can't talk to girls.

943
00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:14,542
And when I do talk to them,
I screw it up.

944
00:54:14,625 --> 00:54:18,253
Yeah, well, come prom, those
excuses aren't going to do you any good.

945
00:54:21,674 --> 00:54:25,594
And one time at band camp,
we weren't supposed to have pillow fights

946
00:54:25,678 --> 00:54:28,931
but we had a pillow fight,
and it was so much fun.

947
00:54:29,015 --> 00:54:33,515
And this one time, we all lost our music
and we were supposed to play this song,

948
00:54:34,061 --> 00:54:38,561
but we didn't know it, so we just made
it up and we kept playing and playing

949
00:54:39,484 --> 00:54:43,696
and the conductor didn't know what
we were doing, and it was so funny.

950
00:54:43,780 --> 00:54:46,157
So, you're pissed
about something, huh.

951
00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:47,741
You know what I do
when I'm angry?

952
00:54:47,825 --> 00:54:51,203
I just play some Bach on
my flute. It's so relaxing.

953
00:54:51,287 --> 00:54:52,705
I learned to do that
at band camp.

954
00:54:52,789 --> 00:54:54,791
Hold on.

955
00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:57,877
You have no idea
why I'm angry?

956
00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,795
Is it because we have
a test tomorrow?

957
00:54:59,879 --> 00:55:04,379
Sometimes I get cranky when I
know I have a big test to study for.

958
00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:07,553
Yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.

959
00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:10,389
I thought so because this
one time at band camp...

960
00:55:10,473 --> 00:55:11,974
What's your name?

961
00:55:12,058 --> 00:55:14,060
Michelle.
Okay. Michelle.

962
00:55:16,813 --> 00:55:19,106
Do you want to be
my date for the prom?

963
00:55:19,190 --> 00:55:22,026
Really? You seriously
want to go with me?

964
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,240
Yes. Seriously.

965
00:55:28,324 --> 00:55:30,284
Are we going to Steve
Stifler's party afterwards?

966
00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:32,703
Because that
would be so cool.

967
00:55:32,787 --> 00:55:34,997
Sure, whatever you want.

968
00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:37,583
Cool! We're gonna have
such a good time.

969
00:55:37,667 --> 00:55:41,962
It'll be like this one time at band
camp when we all had a campfire...

970
00:55:57,436 --> 00:55:58,520
Hi.

971
00:56:00,398 --> 00:56:01,941
How'd you know I was here?

972
00:56:02,024 --> 00:56:03,358
Stifler told me.

973
00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:05,903
Talked to Stifler?

974
00:56:05,987 --> 00:56:08,114
Well, I needed to find you.

975
00:56:08,197 --> 00:56:11,283
We're gonna have to
work on that song.

976
00:56:11,367 --> 00:56:14,661
Okay. I'm glad you came by.

977
00:56:14,745 --> 00:56:16,496
So you work nights?

978
00:56:18,791 --> 00:56:20,000
My dad's the manager.

979
00:56:20,084 --> 00:56:21,710
Really?

980
00:56:21,794 --> 00:56:24,671
Cool. Tell him
the subs are great.

981
00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:28,801
So you're going
to Michigan next year?

982
00:56:28,885 --> 00:56:29,886
Yeah.

983
00:56:29,969 --> 00:56:32,721
My parents want me to go
to Northwestern, but...

984
00:56:32,805 --> 00:56:36,058
I don't wanna write all those
extra essays they make you do.

985
00:56:36,142 --> 00:56:37,309
I mean, how am I
supposed to know

986
00:56:37,393 --> 00:56:41,021
what my "most emotionally
significant moment" was?

987
00:56:41,105 --> 00:56:45,605
So when my U of M acceptance came
in December, I just said the hell with it.

988
00:56:46,277 --> 00:56:47,903
Onions?
What?

989
00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:50,865
You want onions?

990
00:56:50,948 --> 00:56:52,574
Oh, no, thank you.

991
00:56:55,328 --> 00:56:57,663
So what are you
gonna major in?

992
00:56:57,747 --> 00:56:59,999
State's got a good
business school,

993
00:57:00,082 --> 00:57:02,751
and I could probably walk
onto the lacrosse team.

994
00:57:02,835 --> 00:57:05,587
Well, you've probably got it
pretty figured out, then, huh?

995
00:57:05,671 --> 00:57:09,883
I mean, business is okay,
and lacrosse is awesome, but,

996
00:57:09,967 --> 00:57:13,011
what am I gonna be, a
professional lacrosse player?

997
00:57:13,095 --> 00:57:14,971
I really have no idea.

998
00:57:15,056 --> 00:57:17,933
Thank God. I thought
I was the only one.

999
00:57:18,935 --> 00:57:20,269
Well, you're not.

1000
00:57:21,938 --> 00:57:23,773
So we're gonna be
close next year.

1001
00:57:32,198 --> 00:57:34,074
You mean East Lansing
and Ann Arbor?

1002
00:57:34,158 --> 00:57:35,409
Yeah.

1003
00:57:37,453 --> 00:57:38,579
What are you
talking about?

1004
00:57:38,663 --> 00:57:41,207
I'm sorry, but I can't
go to the prom with you.

1005
00:57:41,290 --> 00:57:43,125
I'm holding out
for someone else.

1006
00:57:44,085 --> 00:57:46,295
You gotta be fucking
kidding me.

1007
00:57:46,379 --> 00:57:49,924
I know it's a long shot, but I
figure Paul Finch might ask me.

1008
00:57:50,675 --> 00:57:53,427
Finch. Shit-brick.

1009
00:57:54,470 --> 00:57:57,097
Oh, gosh. I forgot.

1010
00:57:57,181 --> 00:57:59,433
You look okay.

1011
00:57:59,517 --> 00:58:02,186
I mean, the scars
healed really well.

1012
00:58:03,104 --> 00:58:05,106
Hey, Stifler.
Eat shit.

1013
00:58:07,858 --> 00:58:09,693
What was that all about?

1014
00:58:09,777 --> 00:58:12,362
He's still embarrassed
because Finch kicked his ass.

1015
00:58:12,989 --> 00:58:14,115
Who told you that?

1016
00:58:14,824 --> 00:58:16,534
What do you mean,
"no comment"?

1017
00:58:16,617 --> 00:58:17,909
Did you two hook up
or something?

1018
00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:19,787
What, are you kidding? No.

1019
00:58:19,870 --> 00:58:23,164
Then how did all this
get started?

1020
00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:26,585
Well, I guess it's all right
for me to tell you now.

1021
00:58:26,669 --> 00:58:30,756
That reputation of his isn't
going anywhere. Cheese, please.

1022
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,842
Finch comes up to me
and says, "Jessica,

1023
00:58:32,925 --> 00:58:35,510
"I need your help with this,
blah, blah, etcetera."

1024
00:58:35,594 --> 00:58:38,221
So I said, "All right.
Pay me 200 bucks,

1025
00:58:38,305 --> 00:58:41,099
"and I'll tell a couple of girls
that you're dynamite in bed."

1026
00:58:41,183 --> 00:58:43,310
So he did, and I did.

1027
00:58:43,394 --> 00:58:44,603
That actually works?

1028
00:58:44,687 --> 00:58:45,938
Well, duh! Of course.

1029
00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:48,607
Naturally, I embellished
a little bit.

1030
00:58:48,691 --> 00:58:50,984
Did you hear that Finch had
an affair with an older woman?

1031
00:58:51,068 --> 00:58:53,195
No, I didn't hear that one.

1032
00:58:53,279 --> 00:58:55,364
That one was my favorite.

1033
00:58:56,949 --> 00:58:58,116
Dude, that cheerleader.

1034
00:58:58,200 --> 00:58:59,367
<i>Thank</i> you, <i>baby</i>

1035
00:58:59,452 --> 00:59:01,287
She wants me.
She calls me up...

1036
00:59:01,370 --> 00:59:05,870
<i>How sweet it is
to be loved by you</i>

1037
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,961
Oh, my God, you're gay!

1038
00:59:09,045 --> 00:59:11,297
Sing it with me.
You know the words.

1039
00:59:11,380 --> 00:59:14,466
No thanks, man. You've
been singing that shit all week.

1040
00:59:14,550 --> 00:59:18,303
If you try that at MSU this
Saturday, I'll kick your ass.

1041
00:59:18,387 --> 00:59:20,180
Our last game
is this Saturday.

1042
00:59:21,307 --> 00:59:22,391
Yeah, well, shit.

1043
00:59:25,978 --> 00:59:29,606
I've got this lacrosse game. It's
really important. It's our last game.

1044
00:59:29,690 --> 00:59:33,235
Central almost beat us last time, so
this time I really wanna kick their ass.

1045
00:59:33,319 --> 00:59:36,113
But it's gonna be cool,
because the game's at State

1046
00:59:36,197 --> 00:59:38,490
which means afterwards
I'll be able to stop by.

1047
00:59:38,574 --> 00:59:40,659
So you can't sing
at the competition.

1048
00:59:41,911 --> 00:59:43,704
Heather, I'm sorry.
I totally blew it.

1049
00:59:43,788 --> 00:59:45,080
It's okay.

1050
00:59:45,164 --> 00:59:47,708
You should do
what makes you happy.

1051
00:59:50,044 --> 00:59:53,672
All right. Listen, thanks
for understanding.

1052
00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:54,882
Yeah.

1053
00:59:57,093 --> 00:59:59,428
So,I guess
I'll see you later?

1054
01:00:15,653 --> 01:00:17,446
Hey, Kevin.

1055
01:00:17,530 --> 01:00:19,031
You seen shit-brick lately?

1056
01:00:19,615 --> 01:00:22,534
Why? What did you do to him?

1057
01:00:22,618 --> 01:00:24,286
Me? Nothing.

1058
01:00:25,538 --> 01:00:27,706
See, I'm the one
whose ass he kicked.

1059
01:00:27,790 --> 01:00:30,542
But, I'll tell you
one thing, though.

1060
01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:33,921
I don't think he's gonna have a
problem shitting in school anymore.

1061
01:00:34,004 --> 01:00:37,132
Slipped a little something
into his mochaccino.

1062
01:00:39,552 --> 01:00:40,803
Oh, God!

1063
01:00:41,971 --> 01:00:44,139
Oh! Oh!

1064
01:00:50,187 --> 01:00:51,396
Jesus.

1065
01:00:52,898 --> 01:00:54,691
Right this way, sir.

1066
01:01:01,323 --> 01:01:02,574
Oh, God.

1067
01:01:33,355 --> 01:01:34,564
Oh, no.

1068
01:01:36,025 --> 01:01:37,359
It's gonna be fun.

1069
01:01:37,443 --> 01:01:40,737
You know it's just gonna be some
crappy band and stupid decorations.

1070
01:01:40,821 --> 01:01:41,988
You're just
saying that

1071
01:01:42,072 --> 01:01:44,491
because prom's a week away
and you don't have a date.

1072
01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,910
No, no, no.
I don't want a date.

1073
01:01:47,870 --> 01:01:51,790
Finch is going stag
and so am I.

1074
01:01:51,874 --> 01:01:54,793
God, he's like so refined.

1075
01:01:56,045 --> 01:01:58,130
You think that older woman
thing is true?

1076
01:01:58,214 --> 01:02:01,592
Yeah, it's true.
It was Stifler's mom.

1077
01:02:04,762 --> 01:02:06,930
Joanie, was that you?

1078
01:02:07,014 --> 01:02:09,224
- Oh!
- Can't hold it.

1079
01:02:09,308 --> 01:02:10,350
Oh!

1080
01:02:17,274 --> 01:02:18,525
Ew!

1081
01:02:41,173 --> 01:02:42,299
Yeah!

1082
01:02:45,594 --> 01:02:48,346
Kev?
I think we've come

1083
01:02:48,430 --> 01:02:50,515
a really long way
since homecoming.

1084
01:02:50,599 --> 01:02:52,058
Yeah, we have.

1085
01:02:52,142 --> 01:02:56,642
Maybe it's time we start to
express ourselves in new ways.

1086
01:02:58,315 --> 01:03:00,358
Yeah.
You wanna do it?

1087
01:03:00,442 --> 01:03:03,319
Yeah.
I love you.

1088
01:03:05,072 --> 01:03:06,615
It's your turn.

1089
01:03:08,659 --> 01:03:10,952
That's not what
I was thinking.

1090
01:03:11,662 --> 01:03:15,207
Sex. It's always about sex.

1091
01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:17,459
It's not always about sex.

1092
01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:21,337
I just thought it was
about sex this time.

1093
01:03:24,925 --> 01:03:29,304
Look, Vicky, love is a term
that gets thrown around

1094
01:03:29,388 --> 01:03:31,556
and, and people
don't mean it.

1095
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,768
When I say it, I want it
to be more than words.

1096
01:03:34,852 --> 01:03:37,521
You know? I want
it to be... Perfect.

1097
01:03:39,815 --> 01:03:41,316
Exactly.

1098
01:03:41,817 --> 01:03:44,361
Okay, Albert. You ready?
No problemo.

1099
01:03:45,654 --> 01:03:49,532
<i>I close my eyes at night</i>

1100
01:03:49,616 --> 01:03:51,326
Come on, Heather.
Work with me here.

1101
01:03:57,499 --> 01:04:00,293
Goal, Ostreicher!

1102
01:04:00,794 --> 01:04:04,214
All right, Oz!
Atta boy, Ozzie!

1103
01:04:04,298 --> 01:04:05,465
Yeah, baby!

1104
01:04:05,549 --> 01:04:08,134
- We're crushing you losers!
- Let's go, fellas!

1105
01:04:08,218 --> 01:04:09,427
Come on!

1106
01:04:12,514 --> 01:04:16,893
<i>Bumblebee, bumblebee,
bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee</i>

1107
01:04:16,977 --> 01:04:19,312
Focus on the music.
Think melody.

1108
01:04:19,396 --> 01:04:20,772
Let the music be my guide.

1109
01:04:20,856 --> 01:04:22,232
That would be a start.

1110
01:04:33,118 --> 01:04:35,370
Who's the man? Stifler!

1111
01:04:37,873 --> 01:04:39,958
Huddle up, guys! Huddle up!

1112
01:04:47,716 --> 01:04:51,970
Huddle up! Come on! Okay.

1113
01:04:52,054 --> 01:04:54,139
All right, all right!

1114
01:04:54,223 --> 01:04:56,225
Good hustle, guys.
Good hustle.

1115
01:04:56,308 --> 01:05:00,808
But you can still lose. You all
saw what happened to Oz out there.

1116
01:05:01,563 --> 01:05:06,063
I don't want to ever see any of
you thinking you're gonna score.

1117
01:05:06,902 --> 01:05:09,905
You don't score
until you score.

1118
01:05:09,988 --> 01:05:12,615
Until you score.
That's right, baby!

1119
01:05:12,699 --> 01:05:15,243
It all boils down to today.

1120
01:05:15,327 --> 01:05:18,705
For you seniors,
this marks the culmination

1121
01:05:18,789 --> 01:05:21,750
of the past four years.
Culmination.

1122
01:05:22,751 --> 01:05:26,504
I want you to think
about what this means to you.

1123
01:05:26,588 --> 01:05:30,049
Do you guys wanna look back
on your days at East

1124
01:05:30,134 --> 01:05:32,845
and know that you used
the time you had?

1125
01:05:32,928 --> 01:05:36,097
- Hell, yeah!
- You do!

1126
01:05:38,350 --> 01:05:40,268
Good attitude, Ostreicher.

1127
01:05:40,352 --> 01:05:41,728
Good luck, fellas.

1128
01:05:42,646 --> 01:05:45,899
Christ, I didn't tell you
to leave the game.

1129
01:05:45,983 --> 01:05:47,192
I'm sorry, Coach.

1130
01:05:47,276 --> 01:05:50,112
You got someplace more
important to be, Ostreicher?

1131
01:05:50,195 --> 01:05:51,321
Yeah.

1132
01:05:53,157 --> 01:05:54,575
Ostreicher!

1133
01:05:55,617 --> 01:05:59,454
Oz? Fuckface?

1134
01:05:59,538 --> 01:06:00,956
Ostreicher!

1135
01:06:27,191 --> 01:06:29,484
Hey, Oz!
Ozmeister!

1136
01:06:30,444 --> 01:06:31,987
Oh, great.
What about the game?

1137
01:06:32,070 --> 01:06:33,279
I'm not playing.

1138
01:06:33,363 --> 01:06:35,365
You're missing
the game for us?

1139
01:06:35,449 --> 01:06:38,118
No, I'm missing
the game for you.

1140
01:06:41,205 --> 01:06:43,874
Does this mean I'm not
gonna get to do the duet?

1141
01:06:43,957 --> 01:06:45,291
Albert, you suck.

1142
01:06:50,589 --> 01:06:52,465
I don't think
he's coming back.

1143
01:06:52,549 --> 01:06:54,968
<i>Close my eyes at night</i>

1144
01:06:55,052 --> 01:06:56,261
<i>Close my eyes</i>

1145
01:06:56,345 --> 01:06:59,723
<i>Wondering where would I be
without you in my life</i>

1146
01:06:59,806 --> 01:07:01,098
<i>Oh</i>

1147
01:07:01,183 --> 01:07:03,435
<i>Everything I did
was just a bore</i>

1148
01:07:03,519 --> 01:07:04,770
<i>Just a bore</i>

1149
01:07:04,853 --> 01:07:08,565
<i>Everywhere I went
seems I been there before</i>

1150
01:07:08,649 --> 01:07:10,901
<i>But you brighten up for me
But you brighten up for me</i>

1151
01:07:11,026 --> 01:07:12,944
<i>All of my days
All of my days</i>

1152
01:07:13,028 --> 01:07:14,821
<i>With a love so sweet</i>

1153
01:07:14,905 --> 01:07:16,281
<i>In so many ways</i>

1154
01:07:16,365 --> 01:07:18,784
<i>I just wanna stop</i>

1155
01:07:18,867 --> 01:07:20,618
<i>And thank you, baby
And thank you, baby</i>

1156
01:07:20,702 --> 01:07:23,287
<i>I just wanna stop</i>

1157
01:07:23,372 --> 01:07:24,956
<i>And thank you, baby
And thank you, baby</i>

1158
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:26,499
<i>Thank you, baby</i>

1159
01:07:26,583 --> 01:07:28,585
<i>How sweet it is
How sweet it is</i>

1160
01:07:28,669 --> 01:07:31,213
<i>To be loved by you
To be loved by you</i>

1161
01:07:34,258 --> 01:07:36,760
Yeah, Oz!
You fucking rule!

1162
01:07:36,843 --> 01:07:39,470
Fucking rule!
Yeah!

1163
01:07:42,224 --> 01:07:44,226
Maybe the words
aren't that important.

1164
01:07:44,309 --> 01:07:46,519
It's like, I know he really
cares about me, you know?

1165
01:07:46,603 --> 01:07:48,813
Even if he can't say it,
he does.

1166
01:07:48,897 --> 01:07:52,692
And yeah, he always talks about sex,
but that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right?

1167
01:07:52,776 --> 01:07:54,402
He's got a dick.
He's a guy.

1168
01:07:54,486 --> 01:07:55,904
Right.

1169
01:07:55,988 --> 01:07:57,406
Wait. Is this
translation right?

1170
01:07:57,489 --> 01:08:00,408
"Go home, bird teacher.
I've had enough."

1171
01:08:00,492 --> 01:08:02,911
I don't know.
I got it from Kevin.

1172
01:08:04,079 --> 01:08:07,082
So, does it hurt?
What?

1173
01:08:07,165 --> 01:08:10,501
You know, sex.
Does it hurt?

1174
01:08:10,586 --> 01:08:14,464
Yeah. I mean, the first time
you do it, you know, it hurts.

1175
01:08:14,548 --> 01:08:18,843
But then you, you do it
again and again and again...

1176
01:08:18,927 --> 01:08:21,971
It just starts to feel good.
Really good.

1177
01:08:22,055 --> 01:08:24,766
Okay, so say
I don't do it.

1178
01:08:26,268 --> 01:08:27,602
And then
I go off to college.

1179
01:08:27,686 --> 01:08:30,021
I might end up doing it
with some random guy

1180
01:08:30,105 --> 01:08:32,023
who totally turns out
to be a jerk.

1181
01:08:32,107 --> 01:08:33,691
This is true.

1182
01:08:33,775 --> 01:08:36,652
And I'll wish I would've
done it with Kevin.

1183
01:08:36,737 --> 01:08:38,655
So go do it with Kevin.

1184
01:08:39,615 --> 01:08:42,034
You think? Yeah.
You're... You're ready.

1185
01:08:42,117 --> 01:08:45,453
You're woman. Look at you.
You're ready for sex.

1186
01:08:45,537 --> 01:08:46,955
You're right.
I know.

1187
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,290
I'm gonna do it. I'm
gonna have sex. Now.

1188
01:08:49,374 --> 01:08:51,501
And it's gonna be right,
and it's gonna be just perfect.

1189
01:08:51,585 --> 01:08:53,795
Perfect sex.
Thanks, Jessica.

1190
01:08:53,879 --> 01:08:55,130
Please.

1191
01:08:56,923 --> 01:08:58,090
Kevin.

1192
01:08:59,384 --> 01:09:00,593
Kevin.

1193
01:09:02,888 --> 01:09:06,141
I wanna
have sex. Now?

1194
01:09:11,313 --> 01:09:12,480
Prom.

1195
01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:20,568
<i>As you walk up those steps
and garner your award</i>

1196
01:09:21,281 --> 01:09:25,368
<i>Try not to forget about me</i>

1197
01:09:25,452 --> 01:09:28,705
<i>'Cause I was there when
you had no one else to hold</i>

1198
01:09:30,999 --> 01:09:34,252
<i>You used to look
just like a saint</i>

1199
01:09:34,336 --> 01:09:36,129
<i>Stumbling towards</i>

1200
01:09:36,213 --> 01:09:40,342
<i>Yours and God's
very own quarantine</i>

1201
01:09:40,425 --> 01:09:44,846
<i>You used to never think
you'd ever grow old</i>

1202
01:09:55,107 --> 01:09:57,692
You must be excited
about the big night tonight.

1203
01:09:57,776 --> 01:09:59,068
Thrilled.

1204
01:10:00,153 --> 01:10:01,404
Who's the lucky girl?

1205
01:10:03,073 --> 01:10:04,949
Michelle.

1206
01:10:05,033 --> 01:10:07,326
Yeah.
Michelle.

1207
01:10:08,203 --> 01:10:10,205
She must be very special.

1208
01:10:10,288 --> 01:10:12,081
Oh, she's special,
all right.

1209
01:10:12,165 --> 01:10:15,376
I'm sure she is special if you
picked her out of the whole bunch.

1210
01:10:19,423 --> 01:10:22,843
Jim, I'm just gonna say one
thing before you leave tonight.

1211
01:10:24,636 --> 01:10:27,680
I want you to be
very, very careful

1212
01:10:29,474 --> 01:10:31,851
when you're putting on

1213
01:10:31,935 --> 01:10:33,394
the corsage.

1214
01:10:38,233 --> 01:10:39,317
Okay, Dad.

1215
01:10:39,401 --> 01:10:41,361
Promise me.
I promise.

1216
01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:02,381
<i>Midnight at the oasis</i>

1217
01:11:02,382 --> 01:11:06,094
<i>Midnight at the oasis</i>

1218
01:11:07,637 --> 01:11:11,641
<i>Send your camel to bed</i>

1219
01:11:12,934 --> 01:11:16,437
<i>Shadows painting our faces</i>

1220
01:11:16,521 --> 01:11:21,021
<i>Traces of romance
in our heads</i>

1221
01:11:23,111 --> 01:11:26,447
<i>Heaven's holding
a half-moon</i>

1222
01:11:28,283 --> 01:11:32,036
<i>Shining just for us</i>

1223
01:11:33,205 --> 01:11:37,167
<i>Let's slip off
to a sand dune</i>

1224
01:11:37,250 --> 01:11:39,377
<i>Real soon</i>

1225
01:11:39,461 --> 01:11:42,547
<i>And kick up a little dust</i>

1226
01:11:42,631 --> 01:11:47,131
<i>Come on
Cactus is our friend</i>

1227
01:11:47,719 --> 01:11:51,848
<i>He'll point out the way</i>

1228
01:11:51,932 --> 01:11:54,684
You know, at band camp,
we have dances like this,

1229
01:11:54,768 --> 01:11:56,728
only they're way funner.

1230
01:11:57,979 --> 01:12:01,399
<i>Till the evening ends</i>

1231
01:12:01,483 --> 01:12:03,651
<i>Hey, hey, hey</i>

1232
01:12:11,743 --> 01:12:14,829
All right, status check.
Where do you guys stand?

1233
01:12:14,913 --> 01:12:18,708
Finch, we know where you are,
but can't really use that as an excuse.

1234
01:12:18,792 --> 01:12:20,585
Jim?

1235
01:12:20,669 --> 01:12:25,090
My date's a flute-toting band dork.
Does that answer your question?

1236
01:12:25,173 --> 01:12:28,593
Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit
gonna pay off or what?

1237
01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:31,346
Kevin, what's with
the attitude?

1238
01:12:31,429 --> 01:12:34,306
Attitude? Me?

1239
01:12:34,391 --> 01:12:37,018
I think you guys should be
a little more enthusiastic.

1240
01:12:37,811 --> 01:12:39,687
This is the night
we've been waiting for.

1241
01:12:39,771 --> 01:12:41,814
We're in this together.
You guys can't back out.

1242
01:12:41,898 --> 01:12:45,484
Kev, you don't need us to get
laid. Are you afraid or something?

1243
01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:48,863
No. Come on.
We made a pact.

1244
01:12:49,447 --> 01:12:52,241
You can't break that.
You guys are gonna have to...

1245
01:12:52,325 --> 01:12:56,078
Have to what, Kev, huh?
I don't have to do shit.

1246
01:12:56,162 --> 01:13:00,416
Forget it already. I am so sick
and tired of all this bullshit pressure.

1247
01:13:00,500 --> 01:13:04,712
I've never even had sex, and
already, I can't stand it. I hate sex!

1248
01:13:04,796 --> 01:13:07,882
And I'm not gonna stand around here
busting my balls over something that,

1249
01:13:07,966 --> 01:13:10,635
quite frankly,
isn't that damn important.

1250
01:13:10,719 --> 01:13:12,512
I'm gonna go hang out
with that geek over there

1251
01:13:12,596 --> 01:13:16,600
'cause at least she has something
else to talk about besides sex.

1252
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:17,892
Goddamn.

1253
01:13:19,978 --> 01:13:21,104
Yeah.

1254
01:13:22,439 --> 01:13:25,817
You know, at least I learned
how to shit in school, buddy.

1255
01:13:25,901 --> 01:13:27,777
Hey, Finch.

1256
01:13:27,861 --> 01:13:30,613
Wanna dance?
Yeah.

1257
01:13:31,907 --> 01:13:34,534
<i>Oooh</i>

1258
01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:37,412
How come you have no date?

1259
01:13:37,495 --> 01:13:39,705
I like to keep
my options open.

1260
01:13:39,789 --> 01:13:41,749
I got something for you.

1261
01:13:44,085 --> 01:13:45,753
Consider it
a consolation prize.

1262
01:13:48,924 --> 01:13:51,468
Jessica, this is great! Wow!

1263
01:13:51,551 --> 01:13:54,136
Felt sort of guilty
about taking your money.

1264
01:13:54,220 --> 01:13:55,846
You spent $200 on this?

1265
01:13:55,931 --> 01:14:00,018
No, I spent 50 on the flask,
150 on the earrings.

1266
01:14:01,645 --> 01:14:03,813
These are...
Let me just clarify

1267
01:14:03,897 --> 01:14:06,441
that you have no chance
of scoring with me, Finch.

1268
01:14:06,524 --> 01:14:08,192
Of course not!

1269
01:14:08,276 --> 01:14:10,778
So I take it you and
Sherman are pretty close, huh?

1270
01:14:10,862 --> 01:14:12,905
You met at that party
a while back, right?

1271
01:14:12,989 --> 01:14:14,949
Yeah, we were up
all night together.

1272
01:14:15,033 --> 01:14:18,119
We had one of those
amazingly deep conversations

1273
01:14:18,203 --> 01:14:21,497
where you feel like you
really get to know someone.

1274
01:14:22,457 --> 01:14:24,542
Deep conversation, huh?

1275
01:14:24,626 --> 01:14:26,794
Is that what you call it?

1276
01:14:26,878 --> 01:14:28,796
What else would I call it?

1277
01:14:35,762 --> 01:14:37,472
<i>Thank you, Great Falls.</i>

1278
01:14:37,555 --> 01:14:40,849
<i>We're gonna take a little
break. You are beautiful.</i>

1279
01:14:44,896 --> 01:14:46,188
You suck!

1280
01:14:49,985 --> 01:14:51,820
<i>Excuse me, everyone.</i>

1281
01:14:52,988 --> 01:14:55,198
<i>Sorry to interrupt.</i>

1282
01:14:55,281 --> 01:14:57,825
<i>I just thought
you all should know this.</i>

1283
01:14:57,909 --> 01:15:00,411
<i>Chuck Sherman is a liar.</i>

1284
01:15:00,495 --> 01:15:02,371
<i>I never had sex with him.</i>

1285
01:15:02,455 --> 01:15:04,582
<i>He's never had sex
with anyone.</i>

1286
01:15:04,666 --> 01:15:06,668
<i>I know this because
he told me.</i>

1287
01:15:06,751 --> 01:15:09,879
<i>Once he tried to screw
a grapefruit, but that's all.</i>

1288
01:15:09,963 --> 01:15:12,548
<i>Oh. He also told me
that when he gets nervous,</i>

1289
01:15:12,632 --> 01:15:14,383
<i>he sometimes
wets his pants.</i>

1290
01:15:14,467 --> 01:15:16,427
<i>Thank you for your time.</i>

1291
01:15:30,984 --> 01:15:34,153
Guess what?
Not interested.

1292
01:15:34,237 --> 01:15:38,737
Kevin. Come on, man. The bus
to Stifler's is gonna be here soon.

1293
01:15:38,950 --> 01:15:41,285
I'm not going.
What?

1294
01:15:41,369 --> 01:15:42,620
Why not?

1295
01:15:44,164 --> 01:15:47,750
Look, things didn't really
turn out how I wanted them to.

1296
01:15:49,210 --> 01:15:51,462
I mean, I don't even know
what I'm doing.

1297
01:15:51,546 --> 01:15:55,091
I'm acting like I've got
everything together tonight.

1298
01:15:55,175 --> 01:15:58,970
I know that Vicky's gonna
ask me if I love her, and

1299
01:15:59,054 --> 01:16:01,139
I don't know
what I'm gonna say.

1300
01:16:01,222 --> 01:16:02,806
I mean,
I'm on the brink.

1301
01:16:02,891 --> 01:16:06,561
I'm just about to do it.
I should be psyched.

1302
01:16:06,644 --> 01:16:10,564
I don't know. Maybe you're
right. Maybe I am just scared.

1303
01:16:11,441 --> 01:16:14,652
Come on, Kev.
Tonight is the night.

1304
01:16:14,736 --> 01:16:17,780
We, we are finally going to a
post-prom party on the lake.

1305
01:16:17,864 --> 01:16:20,825
We have been waiting
for this for four years.

1306
01:16:20,909 --> 01:16:24,329
Why else have we been friends
with Stifler all this time, right?

1307
01:16:24,412 --> 01:16:25,955
We were friends
with Stifler?

1308
01:16:27,082 --> 01:16:28,458
Hey, look.

1309
01:16:30,210 --> 01:16:32,921
Sherman didn't
even get laid.

1310
01:16:33,004 --> 01:16:35,423
He didn't?
No, he pissed himself.

1311
01:16:36,883 --> 01:16:38,009
What?

1312
01:16:39,511 --> 01:16:41,513
We'll tell you on the bus.

1313
01:16:41,596 --> 01:16:44,849
I'm gonna go inside
and grab my bag.

1314
01:16:44,933 --> 01:16:46,768
My date, too, perhaps?

1315
01:16:49,145 --> 01:16:51,272
Stifler's mom got it
in the divorce.

1316
01:16:51,356 --> 01:16:53,316
That reminds me
of this one time...

1317
01:16:53,399 --> 01:16:56,193
Hey, can I ask you
a question?

1318
01:16:56,277 --> 01:16:59,029
How come you don't have
any stories? I've got lots of them

1319
01:16:59,114 --> 01:17:01,366
and you don't have any.

1320
01:17:01,449 --> 01:17:04,618
Oh, I've got stories.
Believe me. They're just...

1321
01:17:04,702 --> 01:17:07,454
They're just a little more
risque than tales of band camp.

1322
01:17:07,580 --> 01:17:12,042
Are they gross or something?
Like guy stuff? Tell me!

1323
01:17:12,127 --> 01:17:13,795
Okay. You want a story?

1324
01:17:13,878 --> 01:17:16,589
Here's a story.
Stifler finds this beer...

1325
01:17:20,218 --> 01:17:22,386
This is the nicest room
in the house.

1326
01:17:22,470 --> 01:17:23,929
Kev, it's perfect.

1327
01:17:36,484 --> 01:17:38,861
You guys are gonna
fuck, aren't you?

1328
01:17:38,945 --> 01:17:41,405
Fuckers!
Fuckers, fuckers!

1329
01:17:41,489 --> 01:17:44,200
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers!

1330
01:17:45,451 --> 01:17:47,744
Out.
Come on!

1331
01:17:47,829 --> 01:17:50,248
Get out.
Man!

1332
01:18:08,141 --> 01:18:10,268
There's something I've been
meaning to tell you, Heather.

1333
01:18:10,351 --> 01:18:12,770
What's that?

1334
01:18:12,854 --> 01:18:16,232
It's gonna sound really
bad, but, I want you to know...

1335
01:18:17,901 --> 01:18:19,277
You see...

1336
01:18:20,653 --> 01:18:23,197
I'm a virgin, and...

1337
01:18:24,991 --> 01:18:27,618
Well, me, Kevin,
Jim and Finch were...

1338
01:18:27,702 --> 01:18:30,204
We all made this pact

1339
01:18:30,288 --> 01:18:33,291
that we would
lose our virginity

1340
01:18:33,374 --> 01:18:35,918
before high school
was over,

1341
01:18:36,002 --> 01:18:39,714
and tonight is supposed to
be the night that we all do it.

1342
01:18:40,632 --> 01:18:42,800
This isn't the best way
to proposition me.

1343
01:18:42,884 --> 01:18:45,469
No, that's...
That's not what I mean.

1344
01:18:45,553 --> 01:18:47,221
What I mean is...

1345
01:18:49,057 --> 01:18:52,143
Look, do you know what
made me leave that game?

1346
01:18:52,227 --> 01:18:55,647
See, Coach, he was
giving us this speech about

1347
01:18:55,730 --> 01:18:58,983
not slacking off when you see
the opportunity to score...

1348
01:18:59,067 --> 01:19:00,526
This isn't
any better, Chris.

1349
01:19:00,610 --> 01:19:03,404
<i>No, see...
You see, Heather,</i>

1350
01:19:03,488 --> 01:19:06,365
what I realized
is that with you,

1351
01:19:06,449 --> 01:19:10,327
it's not like
I'm running towards a goal

1352
01:19:10,411 --> 01:19:12,913
looking for the best way
to score.

1353
01:19:13,957 --> 01:19:16,626
This may sound
a little corny, but,

1354
01:19:17,502 --> 01:19:19,670
I feel like
I've already won.

1355
01:19:22,131 --> 01:19:25,134
And I care about you a lot.

1356
01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:29,096
Oz, I know.

1357
01:19:31,432 --> 01:19:32,516
You called me Oz.

1358
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,935
Well, yeah.

1359
01:19:35,019 --> 01:19:37,021
It's what your friends
call you.

1360
01:19:37,105 --> 01:19:40,233
I mean, I feel like
I'm one of your friends now.

1361
01:19:40,316 --> 01:19:42,943
And your girlfriend?

1362
01:19:45,822 --> 01:19:50,201
<i>I never thought
that I could love like this</i>

1363
01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:53,538
<i>This feeling inside me
is growing</i>

1364
01:19:53,621 --> 01:19:58,121
<i>I never thought
that you would come</i>

1365
01:20:18,104 --> 01:20:19,647
Are you lost?

1366
01:20:23,735 --> 01:20:26,571
You're Stifler's mom.

1367
01:20:26,654 --> 01:20:28,739
No, no, not lost. Just...

1368
01:20:30,074 --> 01:20:32,076
You know, taking the tour.

1369
01:20:34,037 --> 01:20:37,665
Hey, thank you for letting us
have this wonderful party.

1370
01:20:37,749 --> 01:20:40,710
As if there was an
alternative in the matter.

1371
01:20:46,174 --> 01:20:48,176
50, YOU enjoying yourself?

1372
01:20:48,259 --> 01:20:51,387
I'm three sheets
to the wind, ma'am.

1373
01:20:51,971 --> 01:20:54,139
I'm so happy for YOU-

1374
01:20:54,223 --> 01:20:55,933
But it takes the edge off,
doesn't it?

1375
01:20:57,852 --> 01:20:59,436
Where's your
little date tonight?

1376
01:20:59,520 --> 01:21:01,355
No date. It was...

1377
01:21:01,439 --> 01:21:03,566
It was a bathroom incident.

1378
01:21:04,692 --> 01:21:05,984
Pardon me?

1379
01:21:06,069 --> 01:21:07,320
Never mind.

1380
01:21:12,033 --> 01:21:14,744
You have anything to drink?

1381
01:21:14,827 --> 01:21:17,913
I believe the kegs
are upstairs.

1382
01:21:17,997 --> 01:21:20,457
That is what
the cretins drink.

1383
01:21:20,541 --> 01:21:22,543
I'm talking about alcohol,
liquor.

1384
01:21:22,627 --> 01:21:25,588
The good stuff.
All right.

1385
01:21:27,590 --> 01:21:29,383
I got some scotch.

1386
01:21:29,467 --> 01:21:30,634
Single malt?

1387
01:21:30,718 --> 01:21:32,136
Aged 18 years.

1388
01:21:33,971 --> 01:21:35,681
The way I like it.

1389
01:21:39,894 --> 01:21:42,730
Why don't you go grab
a glass from the bar?

1390
01:21:44,357 --> 01:21:46,025
I think I should.

1391
01:21:47,068 --> 01:21:48,402
Allow me.

1392
01:21:50,530 --> 01:21:52,323
You know it's
a bitching party.

1393
01:21:52,407 --> 01:21:55,576
The Stif-man always
comes through in the clutch.

1394
01:21:59,414 --> 01:22:02,083
And then he just
puked his brains out.

1395
01:22:02,166 --> 01:22:05,210
That is a nasty story.
Yep, I told you.

1396
01:22:05,294 --> 01:22:09,256
Do you want to hear a nasty
story of mine? It's sort of sexual.

1397
01:22:11,342 --> 01:22:13,969
Yeah! Yeah, let's hear it.

1398
01:22:14,053 --> 01:22:18,553
Okay, well, this one time at band
camp, we were playing this game.

1399
01:22:19,058 --> 01:22:22,561
I don't know if you know it,
but it's called "Spin the Bottle."

1400
01:22:22,645 --> 01:22:26,732
And I had to kiss this guy
named Mark Wander on the lips.

1401
01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:28,442
And...
And he plays trombone...

1402
01:22:29,110 --> 01:22:31,237
So how do you want to be?

1403
01:22:31,320 --> 01:22:33,989
Like, how do you
want to do it?

1404
01:22:35,324 --> 01:22:38,201
I don't know.
How do you?

1405
01:22:38,286 --> 01:22:42,786
Like normal style.
The missionary position.

1406
01:22:45,668 --> 01:22:46,835
Okay.

1407
01:22:53,009 --> 01:22:54,093
Kev?

1408
01:22:54,969 --> 01:22:58,013
Yeah?
I wanna hear you say it.

1409
01:22:58,097 --> 01:22:59,181
Okay.

1410
01:23:02,643 --> 01:23:03,977
Victoria...

1411
01:23:05,646 --> 01:23:07,022
I love you.

1412
01:23:08,649 --> 01:23:09,983
I love you.

1413
01:23:22,955 --> 01:23:24,748
<i>Don't stray</i>

1414
01:23:24,832 --> 01:23:27,334
<i>Don't ever go away</i>

1415
01:23:27,418 --> 01:23:30,170
<i>I should be much
too smart for this</i>

1416
01:23:30,254 --> 01:23:32,798
<i>You know it gets
the better of me</i>

1417
01:23:32,882 --> 01:23:37,094
<i>Sometimes,
when you and I collide</i>

1418
01:23:37,178 --> 01:23:38,304
Oh. My hair.

1419
01:23:38,387 --> 01:23:40,222
<i>I fall into
an ocean of you</i>

1420
01:23:40,306 --> 01:23:42,349
<i>Pull me out in time</i>

1421
01:23:42,433 --> 01:23:44,268
<i>Don't let me drown</i>

1422
01:23:44,352 --> 01:23:46,645
<i>Let me down</i>

1423
01:23:46,729 --> 01:23:48,021
You Okay?

1424
01:23:49,232 --> 01:23:52,276
Yeah. Go slow.

1425
01:23:53,277 --> 01:23:55,988
<i>Say you'll stay</i>

1426
01:23:56,072 --> 01:23:59,533
<i>Don't come and go</i>

1427
01:23:59,617 --> 01:24:01,660
<i>Like you do</i>

1428
01:24:03,454 --> 01:24:06,123
<i>Sway my Way</i>

1429
01:24:06,207 --> 01:24:09,293
<i>Yeah, I need to know</i>

1430
01:24:09,377 --> 01:24:12,046
<i>All about you</i>

1431
01:24:13,548 --> 01:24:15,883
<i>Say you'll stay</i>

1432
01:24:15,967 --> 01:24:18,469
So the end of
the story is you

1433
01:24:18,553 --> 01:24:21,097
had to kiss the guy
for 20 seconds.

1434
01:24:21,180 --> 01:24:25,267
Yes! And he was such a dork.
Everyone laughed at me

1435
01:24:25,351 --> 01:24:27,770
but I didn't care
because it was so funny.

1436
01:24:27,853 --> 01:24:29,145
I get it.

1437
01:24:29,230 --> 01:24:33,067
And this one time at band
camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.

1438
01:24:36,904 --> 01:24:38,030
Excuse me?

1439
01:24:38,114 --> 01:24:40,825
What? You don't think
I know how to get myself off?

1440
01:24:40,908 --> 01:24:44,286
Hell, that's what half of
band camp is. Sex Ed.

1441
01:24:44,370 --> 01:24:48,082
So are we gonna screw soon?
'Cause I'm getting kinda antsy.

1442
01:24:56,299 --> 01:24:57,675
This'll do.

1443
01:25:00,428 --> 01:25:01,470
Ow!

1444
01:25:04,432 --> 01:25:08,932
Now, I have two rubbers. Wear
them both. It'll desensitize you.

1445
01:25:09,020 --> 01:25:12,189
I don't want you coming
so damn early this time.

1446
01:25:13,733 --> 01:25:15,860
What makes you think
that I would come early?

1447
01:25:15,943 --> 01:25:18,195
Come on.
I saw you on the net.

1448
01:25:18,279 --> 01:25:20,281
Why do you think
I accepted this date?

1449
01:25:20,364 --> 01:25:22,157
You're a sure thing.

1450
01:25:25,077 --> 01:25:26,453
Yes, I am.

1451
01:25:28,205 --> 01:25:32,250
So I said, "This is very obviously
a Piero della Francesca."

1452
01:25:40,009 --> 01:25:44,509
So, would you object if I said
that you were quite striking?

1453
01:25:46,849 --> 01:25:50,727
Mr. Finch, are you
trying to seduce me?

1454
01:25:50,811 --> 01:25:52,062
Yes, ma'am, I am.

1455
01:25:52,146 --> 01:25:55,274
<i>And here's to you,
Mrs. Robinson</i>

1456
01:25:55,358 --> 01:25:59,779
<i>Jesus loves you
more than you will know</i>

1457
01:25:59,862 --> 01:26:02,406
<i>Whoa, whoa, whoa</i>

1458
01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,743
<i>Stand up tall,
Mrs. Robinson</i>

1459
01:26:05,826 --> 01:26:07,702
<i>God in heaven smiles
on those who pray</i>

1460
01:26:07,787 --> 01:26:09,789
You're dead.

1461
01:26:09,872 --> 01:26:12,249
<i>Hey, hey, hey</i>

1462
01:26:12,333 --> 01:26:13,751
<i>Hey, hey, hey</i>

1463
01:26:16,754 --> 01:26:19,339
<i>Sway my Way</i>

1464
01:26:19,423 --> 01:26:22,426
<i>Yeah, I need to know</i>

1465
01:26:22,510 --> 01:26:25,930
<i>All about you</i>

1466
01:26:26,013 --> 01:26:28,557
<i>And there's no cure</i>

1467
01:26:28,641 --> 01:26:31,185
<i>And no way to be sure</i>

1468
01:26:31,268 --> 01:26:33,728
<i>Why everything's
turned inside out</i>

1469
01:26:33,813 --> 01:26:35,731
<i>instilling so much doubt</i>

1470
01:26:35,815 --> 01:26:38,192
<i>It makes me so tired</i>

1471
01:26:38,275 --> 01:26:41,069
<i>I feel so uninspired</i>

1472
01:26:41,153 --> 01:26:43,738
<i>My head is battling
with my heart</i>

1473
01:26:43,823 --> 01:26:47,576
<i>My logic has been torn apart
And now</i>

1474
01:26:47,702 --> 01:26:50,121
- I had no idea
you'd be this good. - Neither did I.

1475
01:26:50,204 --> 01:26:52,080
Oh, Finchy. Finch.

1476
01:26:52,164 --> 01:26:55,083
Oh, Stifler's mom, whoa!
Finchy!

1477
01:27:03,467 --> 01:27:04,593
Okay, let's go.

1478
01:27:04,677 --> 01:27:06,970
What's my name?
Say my name, bitch!

1479
01:27:07,054 --> 01:27:08,930
Michelle, Michelle.

1480
01:27:10,599 --> 01:27:11,891
JIM; Oh, God.

1481
01:27:40,504 --> 01:27:42,255
That was a great night, huh?

1482
01:27:45,843 --> 01:27:47,010
Yeah.

1483
01:27:48,596 --> 01:27:51,849
I mean, I just can't believe
we had our senior prom.

1484
01:27:51,932 --> 01:27:54,017
I know.

1485
01:27:54,101 --> 01:27:56,103
It went by so fast.

1486
01:27:56,187 --> 01:27:57,646
Yeah, it did.

1487
01:27:58,773 --> 01:27:59,940
Kevin?

1488
01:28:05,112 --> 01:28:08,865
Next year with you going to
Ann Arbor and me going to Ithaca,

1489
01:28:10,868 --> 01:28:12,995
it's not gonna work, is it?

1490
01:28:14,079 --> 01:28:16,206
No. Don't say that.

1491
01:28:16,290 --> 01:28:18,875
I mean,
we could make it work.

1492
01:28:20,085 --> 01:28:22,462
It'll be perfect.
No, Kevin.

1493
01:28:24,423 --> 01:28:26,758
But... See, that's
what I've been realizing

1494
01:28:26,842 --> 01:28:29,928
is that nothing's perfect.

1495
01:28:30,012 --> 01:28:32,264
And you can't
plan everything.

1496
01:28:34,308 --> 01:28:37,644
Well, I guess
you will be pretty far away.

1497
01:28:39,355 --> 01:28:42,274
And we'll be on our own,
meeting new people.

1498
01:28:46,779 --> 01:28:48,530
Last night, though.

1499
01:28:52,368 --> 01:28:53,994
I wasn't lying.

1500
01:28:56,580 --> 01:28:57,831
I know.

1501
01:29:14,348 --> 01:29:15,766
She's gone.

1502
01:29:18,018 --> 01:29:19,894
Oh, my God.
She used me.

1503
01:29:19,979 --> 01:29:21,355
I was used.

1504
01:29:24,024 --> 01:29:25,400
I was used.

1505
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:27,444
Cool!

1506
01:29:29,905 --> 01:29:31,615
What's this door locked...

1507
01:29:31,699 --> 01:29:33,409
Mom, where's...

1508
01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:37,912
Mom? Shit-brick?

1509
01:29:37,997 --> 01:29:39,248
Hey, Stifler.

1510
01:29:41,834 --> 01:29:44,294
<i>Do do do
Do do do do</i>

1511
01:29:44,920 --> 01:29:47,213
I just gotta say
that women,

1512
01:29:48,591 --> 01:29:52,303
like a fine wine,
only get better with age.

1513
01:29:52,386 --> 01:29:56,515
Of course, I have no basis
for comparison, but

1514
01:29:56,599 --> 01:29:57,891
it was good.

1515
01:29:57,975 --> 01:30:00,310
So you almost made it,
huh, Oz?

1516
01:30:00,394 --> 01:30:02,771
I'll just say that we had
a great night together.

1517
01:30:02,855 --> 01:30:04,815
Hang in there, buddy.

1518
01:30:04,899 --> 01:30:06,233
You'll get there.

1519
01:30:06,317 --> 01:30:09,361
You know, guys, I
think we're falling in love.

1520
01:30:11,739 --> 01:30:13,031
Wow.

1521
01:30:13,115 --> 01:30:15,575
That's great, man.
That's awesome.

1522
01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:19,747
You know what
the coolest thing is, guys?

1523
01:30:19,830 --> 01:30:22,374
It's this.
You know, right now.

1524
01:30:22,458 --> 01:30:25,794
It's true. I mean, after this,
everything's gonna be different.

1525
01:30:25,878 --> 01:30:27,629
After getting laid?

1526
01:30:29,089 --> 01:30:30,507
After high school.

1527
01:30:30,591 --> 01:30:32,301
Here's to the next step.

1528
01:30:32,384 --> 01:30:33,385
To the next step.

1529
01:30:33,469 --> 01:30:34,761
To the next step.

1530
01:30:34,845 --> 01:30:36,513
To the next step.

1531
01:30:39,308 --> 01:30:40,600
<i>Do do do
Do do do do</i>

1532
01:30:40,684 --> 01:30:43,103
<i>Do do do
Do do do do</i>

1533
01:30:43,187 --> 01:30:45,522
<i>Do do do
Do do do do</i>

1534
01:30:45,606 --> 01:30:48,025
<i>Do do do
Do do do do</i>

1535
01:30:54,114 --> 01:30:55,949
<i>Chickety China
the Chinese chicken</i>

1536
01:30:56,033 --> 01:30:58,368
<i>You have a drumstick
and your brain stops ticking</i>

1537
01:30:58,452 --> 01:30:59,953
<i>Watching X Files
with no lights on</i>

1538
01:31:00,037 --> 01:31:02,247
<i>We're dans la maison I hope
the Smoking Man's in this one</i>

1539
01:31:02,331 --> 01:31:04,374
<i>Like Harrison Ford
I'm getting frantic</i>

1540
01:31:04,458 --> 01:31:06,793
<i>Like Sting I'm tantric Like
Snickers guaranteed to satisfy</i>

1541
01:31:06,877 --> 01:31:08,712
<i>Like Kurosawa
I make mad films</i>

1542
01:31:08,796 --> 01:31:11,006
<i>Okay, I don't make films but
if I did they'd have a samurai</i>

1543
01:31:11,090 --> 01:31:13,592
<i>Gonna get a set of better clubs
gonna find the kind with tiny nubs</i>

1544
01:31:13,676 --> 01:31:15,386
<i>So my irons aren't always
flying off the backswing</i>

1545
01:31:15,469 --> 01:31:17,304
<i>Gonna get in tune with
Sailor Moon 'cause that cartoon</i>

1546
01:31:17,388 --> 01:31:19,765
<i>Has got the boom anime babes
that make me think the wrong thing</i>

1547
01:31:19,848 --> 01:31:21,808
<i>How can I help it if I think
you're funny when you're mad</i>

1548
01:31:21,892 --> 01:31:24,060
<i>Trying hard not to smile
though I feel bad</i>

1549
01:31:24,144 --> 01:31:25,687
<i>I'm the kind of guy
who laughs at a funeral</i>

1550
01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:26,897
Sweetheart?

1551
01:31:26,981 --> 01:31:27,356
<i>Can't understand what I mean
You soon will</i>

1552
01:31:27,356 --> 01:31:27,439
<i>Can't understand what I mean
You soon will</i>

1553
01:31:27,439 --> 01:31:28,273
<i>Can't understand what I mean
You soon will</i>

1554
01:31:28,357 --> 01:31:30,233
<i>It's been one week
since you looked at me</i>

1555
01:31:30,317 --> 01:31:32,068
<i>Dropped your arms to
the side and said, I'm sorry</i>

1556
01:31:32,152 --> 01:31:36,406
<i>Hello to your mother your
brother significant other</i>

1557
01:31:36,490 --> 01:31:40,990
<i>I am the summertime</i>

1558
01:31:41,078 --> 01:31:45,332
<i>And I'm here
to free your mind</i>

1559
01:31:46,667 --> 01:31:50,587
<i>Kick off your shoes the blues
and use anything but your mind</i>

1560
01:31:50,671 --> 01:31:55,171
<i>'Cause this is
the summertime</i>

1561
01:31:55,509 --> 01:32:00,009
<i>And it's here
to free your mind</i>

1562
01:32:01,265 --> 01:32:05,765
<i>How many other people
can you save today?</i>

1563
01:32:06,061 --> 01:32:10,561
<i>Don't you think it's high
time that you sail away?</i>

1564
01:32:10,983 --> 01:32:15,483
<i>Leave today
Don't fall behind</i>

1565
01:32:15,863 --> 01:32:19,950
<i>Try something new Turn
into you if only for a short time</i>

1566
01:32:20,034 --> 01:32:24,534
<i>I am the summertime</i>

1567
01:32:24,705 --> 01:32:29,205
<i>And I'm here
to free your mind</i>

1568
01:32:39,386 --> 01:32:41,846
<i>Love is tragic
Love is bold</i>

1569
01:32:41,930 --> 01:32:45,642
<i>You will always do
what you are told</i>

1570
01:32:49,772 --> 01:32:52,316
<i>Love is hard
Love is strong</i>

1571
01:32:52,399 --> 01:32:55,568
<i>You will never say
that you were wrong</i>

1572
01:33:00,199 --> 01:33:02,826
<i>I don't know
when I got bitter</i>

1573
01:33:02,910 --> 01:33:07,410
<i>Love is surely better
when it's gone</i>

1574
01:33:09,291 --> 01:33:11,918
<i>'Cause you wanted more</i>

1575
01:33:12,002 --> 01:33:14,504
<i>More than I could give</i>

1576
01:33:14,588 --> 01:33:17,173
<i>More than I could handle</i>

1577
01:33:17,257 --> 01:33:19,968
<i>And a life
that I can't live</i>

1578
01:33:20,052 --> 01:33:22,512
<i>You wanted more</i>

1579
01:33:22,596 --> 01:33:25,140
<i>More than I could bear</i>

1580
01:33:25,224 --> 01:33:27,643
<i>More than I could offer</i>

1581
01:33:27,726 --> 01:33:31,271
<i>And a love
that isn't there</i>

1582
01:33:42,366 --> 01:33:45,035
<i>Love is color
Love is love</i>

1583
01:33:45,119 --> 01:33:48,205
<i>Love is never saying
you're too proud</i>

1584
01:33:52,835 --> 01:33:55,462
<i>Love is trusting
Love is honest</i>

1585
01:33:55,546 --> 01:33:58,840
<i>Love is not a hand
that holds you down</i>

1586
01:34:03,303 --> 01:34:05,888
<i>I don't know
when I got bitter</i>

1587
01:34:05,973 --> 01:34:10,473
<i>Love is surely
better when it's gone</i>

1588
01:34:12,437 --> 01:34:14,939
<i>'Cause you wanted more</i>

1589
01:34:15,023 --> 01:34:17,567
<i>More than I could give</i>

1590
01:34:17,651 --> 01:34:20,320
<i>More than I could handle</i>

1591
01:34:20,404 --> 01:34:22,989
<i>And a life
that I can't live</i>

1592
01:34:23,073 --> 01:34:25,533
<i>You wanted more</i>

1593
01:34:25,617 --> 01:34:28,244
<i>More than I could bear</i>

1594
01:34:28,328 --> 01:34:30,830
<i>More than I could offer</i>

1595
01:34:30,914 --> 01:34:35,126
<i>And a love
that isn't there</i>

1596
01:34:37,754 --> 01:34:41,549
<i>I gotta pick me up
when I am down</i>

1597
01:34:43,135 --> 01:34:46,680
<i>I gotta get my feet back
on the ground</i>

1598
01:34:48,599 --> 01:34:53,099
<i>I gotta pick me up
when I am down</i>

1599
01:35:04,281 --> 01:35:06,700
<i>I don't know
when I got bitter</i>

1600
01:35:06,783 --> 01:35:11,283
<i>But love is surely better
when it's gone</i>

1601
01:35:13,248 --> 01:35:15,792
<i>'Cause you wanted more</i>

1602
01:35:15,876 --> 01:35:18,378
<i>More than I could give</i>

1603
01:35:18,462 --> 01:35:20,589
<i>More than I could handle</i>

1604
01:35:20,672 --> 01:35:23,925
<i>And a life
that I can't live</i>

1605
01:35:24,009 --> 01:35:26,219
<i>You wanted more</i>