1 00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:04,326 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:05,183 --> 00:00:07,303 Oh, man. Oh, man. 3 00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:11,203 People are just crazy nowadays, I tell you right now. 4 00:00:11,233 --> 00:00:15,233 I mean, why is it that brothers wear shades in the club? 5 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:18,316 You ever see that? Brothers wearing shades in the club. 6 00:00:18,350 --> 00:00:20,830 'Don't you just feel like slapping them' 7 00:00:20,116 --> 00:00:21,346 on the side of the head and going.. 8 00:00:21,383 --> 00:00:24,303 "...Why the hell are you wearing shades in the club?" 9 00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:27,163 That dude is not funny. He's horrible. 10 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:29,170 Why do you keep dragging me down here, man? 11 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,200 Look at them all gold teeth in his mouth. 12 00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:33,333 Those ain't gold. His teeth are just yellow. 13 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,196 - Ew. - Yo, I'm telling you, Marlon. 14 00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,203 You're funnier than all these guys up in here. 15 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,223 Uh.. 16 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:41,300 We need to come together, hold hands 17 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,253 and take our kids out for a walk. 18 00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:47,133 Fathers need to bond with their children.. 19 00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:48,246 ...and take 'em out for a walk. 20 00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:51,183 It's time, y'all, to teach the babies. 21 00:00:51,216 --> 00:00:53,246 Hey, forget about teaching the babies. 22 00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:56,663 Somebody need to teach you how to brush your teeth. 23 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,320 [all laughing] 24 00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:00,250 Your teeth so yellow like you got a mouthful of sugar palm. 25 00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:02,183 [laughing] 26 00:01:02,216 --> 00:01:03,266 Your teeth so spaced out 27 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:05,170 it look like your tongue is in jail. 28 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,180 [all laughing] 29 00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:09,246 This is my job, brother. 30 00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:12,103 I don't go down to your job and knock the crack pipe 31 00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,383 out of your hand. 32 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,150 Look like you brush your teeth with a grenade. 33 00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:22,496 [all laughing] 34 00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:23,370 [gibberish] 35 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,660 - Teeth today.. - I'm telling you, Marlon. 36 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,100 I'm telling you should go up there 37 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,133 and show him how it's done, man. 38 00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,196 - No, Shawn. - Marlon. 39 00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,303 Look, man, for the last time.. 40 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:37,153 ...I'm not a stand-up. I'm an actor. 41 00:01:37,183 --> 00:01:40,203 All the big-time actors start out as stand-up comics. 42 00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,303 Jerry Seinfeld. You know how much he makes an episode? 43 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:46,333 - What? - A million dollars a episode. 44 00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:48,326 A million dollars? 45 00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:50,166 It make you get ugly when you say it. 46 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,320 (both) A million dollars! 47 00:01:53,350 --> 00:01:55,000 Pale! 48 00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,000 [indistinct shouting] 49 00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,000 Is this thing on? 50 00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:00,350 [theme song] 51 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,230 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 52 00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:06,266 ♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪ 53 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,180 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 54 00:02:10,216 --> 00:02:12,156 (male 'Alright. Cut and print.' 55 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,300 'Beautiful guys. Dynamite.' 56 00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,233 [theme music] 57 00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:42,176 [instrumental music] 58 00:02:42,216 --> 00:02:44,176 - Yo, Marlon. Guess what, kid? - Wassup, man? 59 00:02:44,216 --> 00:02:46,216 I went down to the comedy club and talked to the owner 60 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,220 about getting you on the list for amateur night tomorrow. 61 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,330 Oh, Shawn. No, man. 62 00:02:49,366 --> 00:02:51,096 I-I-I mean, I was funny last night 63 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,233 and all that money and stuff is good 64 00:02:52,266 --> 00:02:54,656 but I've been thinking about it. No. 65 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,350 - I don't wanna do stand-up. - Come on, Marlon. 66 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,333 You got mad talent, kid. Marlon, I'm telling you. 67 00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:59,176 If you just go on that stage, you gonna blow up. 68 00:02:59,216 --> 00:03:00,366 (Dee) 'You're gonna do stand-up?' 69 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,250 'Cause you know I'll be there to encourage you now. 70 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,273 Wait. Hold up, now. 71 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,330 If I was to do stand-up 72 00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:05,366 it would be my first time 73 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,330 so I wouldn't have any jokes. 74 00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:08,100 Oh, look, I'll give you a limerick 75 00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:10,303 about the man from Nantucket. 76 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,233 There once was a man from Nantucket-- 77 00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:14,126 Okay. O-o-okay. 78 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:18,130 - Okay, thank you, father. - Marlon, Marlon, baby. 79 00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:20,326 Do it. You're wonderful. 80 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,270 - They'll love you. Do it. - Do it! 81 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,350 And you're not working here. 82 00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:25,103 That ain't no job. 83 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:27,333 Yeah, I-I mean, I-I.. It's true. 84 00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:31,000 It ain't like the acting jobs is pouring in. 85 00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:32,250 You know, plus, it'll give me a chance to work 86 00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,003 on my little improv skills. 87 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:35,200 That's right, and your mack daddy skills. 88 00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:37,503 You know, 'cause the ladies love to laugh. 89 00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,500 You'd be telling joke on why'd the chicken 90 00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:40,350 cross the road? To pull the drawers down? 91 00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:43,123 [all laughing] 92 00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:45,333 In that case, I'mma do it. 93 00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:47,296 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you. 94 00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:49,103 I cannot wait, and you know 95 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,833 I'll invite some of my friends now. 96 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:53,166 Hey, Charlie. You wanna go? 97 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,150 Sure, I'll be there, Dee. 98 00:03:55,183 --> 00:03:56,373 Just remember.. 99 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,220 ...no more special deliveries after 6 o'clock. 100 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,830 [all cheering] 101 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:04,330 [laughing] 102 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,250 I don't know. This is too much pressure. 103 00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:08,153 - I hope I'm funny. - Oh, you'll be funny, son. 104 00:04:08,183 --> 00:04:10,333 If that doesn't work, I always get a laugh 105 00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:11,300 out of this. Hit it, Shawn. 106 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,133 ♪ Pop pop pop pop sugar pop ♪ 107 00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:15,316 ♪ Sugar pop sugar pop to the popping shop ♪ 108 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:19,100 ♪ Now slide slide slide slide ♪ 109 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,323 ♪ Now grind pop grind grind ♪ 110 00:04:21,350 --> 00:04:23,230 ♪ Do the low grind do the low grind ♪ 111 00:04:23,266 --> 00:04:25,326 ♪ Come up come up come up come up come up ♪ 112 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,366 ♪ Now crack the back ♪♪ 113 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,000 [instrumental music] 114 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,220 [laughing] 115 00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,370 Oh, I'm crazy. 116 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,300 Hey. Sit down. 117 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,333 I wanna try some of this material out on you. 118 00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:40,996 Alright. Go ahead. Yo, you better be funny, yo. 119 00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:42,230 'Of course.' 120 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,330 Hi, peoples! 121 00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:49,216 - How y'all doing? - We aight! 122 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:51,330 Your mama so fat, she stepped on the scale 123 00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:54,146 it said, "To be continued.." 124 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,346 Your mama so black 125 00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,103 any time she was in night school 126 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,173 the teachers marked her absent. 127 00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:07,153 No, because they couldn't see her 'cause she was black 128 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,233 and they thought she was the teacher's shadow. 129 00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:12,996 She failed the test anyway. 130 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,320 - What happened? - What are you doin'? 131 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,100 - Those are funny jokes. - Marlon. 132 00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:17,253 You ain't never gonna make it as a stand-up 133 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,203 talking about your mother's so black 134 00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,333 the teachers marked.. That's not. 135 00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:22,350 All great stand-ups talk about theirself. 136 00:05:22,383 --> 00:05:26,153 They talk about personal experiences, like Bill Cosby. 137 00:05:26,183 --> 00:05:28,103 He used to talk about growing up in Philadelphia. 138 00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,233 Remember Cos? You know, the Cos was drunk. 139 00:05:30,266 --> 00:05:31,996 And he would just keep rambling. 140 00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:34,100 And you know, he had the cigar, just talking 141 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,833 he liked to smoke talking about growing up 142 00:05:36,116 --> 00:05:38,326 with his wife Camille. 143 00:05:38,366 --> 00:05:41,176 And the children, stirring the Jell-O pudding 144 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,346 and all the dough. 145 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,270 You want me to talk about puddin'? 146 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,100 No, I just want you to draw from your own life. 147 00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,183 Talk about your own experience. Like Redd Foxx. 148 00:05:54,216 --> 00:05:56,826 He used to do a bit about his own experience 149 00:05:56,116 --> 00:05:59,096 at the doctor's office. Uh, he used to go in.. 150 00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:01,333 Went to the doctor the other day. 151 00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:05,226 Doctor said, "You got a bad case of xactly." 152 00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,496 He said, "What's xactly?" 153 00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:08,350 He said, "Your breath smell 154 00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:11,163 xactly like your behind." 155 00:06:13,233 --> 00:06:14,303 - Alright. - You know what I mean? 156 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,273 Alright. I get it. Alright. 157 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,660 - Definitely. Good advice. - Alright. 158 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,180 - Thanks, man. Appreciate it. - Alright, man. 159 00:06:19,216 --> 00:06:21,116 Talk about something personal, you know. 160 00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:22,350 Like, like your love life. 161 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,153 Oh, yeah. 162 00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,203 Oh, you know, I'm a freak. 163 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,830 [instrumental music] 164 00:06:36,116 --> 00:06:38,326 (male 'This is the first time on stage for our next comedian.' 165 00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:40,146 So, please, be nice 166 00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:43,253 for Mr. Marlon Williams, ladies and gentlemen. 167 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,203 [cheering] 168 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,200 - Hey, how's everybody doing? - We aight! 169 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,270 Feel good, good to be here. 170 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,660 Um, tonight I want to talk about 171 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,130 something from my life, so I 172 00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,216 figure what's better than to talk about the people I love. 173 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,350 My family sitting right here in the front row. 174 00:07:08,383 --> 00:07:11,373 Put the spotlight on 'em and make ithot-uh! 175 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,220 [laughing] 176 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,170 [clapping] 177 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,100 That right there is my father. 178 00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,333 Stand up, pops. 179 00:07:18,366 --> 00:07:20,656 Say hi to pops. 180 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,330 [applause] 181 00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,276 'My father owns his own diner.' 182 00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:28,326 It serves a wonderful Thanksgiving special. 183 00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:29,330 'Everybody loves his Thanksgiving special.' 184 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,346 Everybody but the pigeon he serves. You know what I mean? 185 00:07:32,383 --> 00:07:34,003 [audience laughing] 186 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,180 'Can you feel me?' 187 00:07:36,216 --> 00:07:39,496 My father's so funny 'cause he's 60 years old 188 00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:41,320 talking about bang, bang, bang. 189 00:07:42,383 --> 00:07:44,153 I'm like, "Pop, you're 60. 190 00:07:44,183 --> 00:07:46,203 "It's more like pah, pah, pah. 191 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,220 That gun is shooting blanks, pop." 192 00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:54,233 Do you feel me? 193 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:57,166 Spotlight on my brother Shawn and make ithot-uh! 194 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,220 Shawnie. Shawnie. 195 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,160 (Marlon) I love that man. 196 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,330 That is my pride and my joy. That's my brother. 197 00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,826 I love him to death. I love him. 198 00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:07,166 Almost as much as he loves himself. 199 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,150 Oh! Ha ha ha! 200 00:08:09,183 --> 00:08:12,003 I swear to God, he just broke up with his girlfriend last week 201 00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:14,230 to get back with himself. Ha ha ha. 202 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,370 He's cute now, but y'all should have seen him back in the day. 203 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000 Oh, boy. 204 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,660 Before that acne medicine 205 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,000 and them braces kicked in 206 00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:24,280 my brother used to look like this. 207 00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:28,826 [laughing] 208 00:08:29,316 --> 00:08:31,296 And this right here is a good friend of the family, Dee. 209 00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:34,153 Come on, give it up for Dee. Yes. Yes. 210 00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:36,253 [all clapping] 211 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:39,223 Good friend and a.. She's a very, very sweet woman. 212 00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:43,280 'Very sweet, just not sweet enough to get a man.' 213 00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:45,166 Last time, a man touched her booty 214 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,000 it was in the delivery room. You know what I mean? 215 00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:49,330 Can you feel me? 216 00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:51,346 Make ithot-uh! 217 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,830 [cheering] 218 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,146 Put the spotlight on grandma 219 00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:59,003 and I want you to make it what? 220 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,330 (audience) Hot! 221 00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:01,230 Hot-uh! 222 00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:04,296 I want it to be blowtorch hot! 223 00:09:06,183 --> 00:09:07,253 That's my grandma right there. 224 00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:09,663 'Doesn't she have a beautiful smile?' 225 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,270 Look at that smile. 226 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,320 Too bad they aren't her teeth. 227 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,280 For real. For real, I mean.. 228 00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:18,126 The woman is beautiful 229 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:21,346 but she's crustier than a Dominos pizza. 230 00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:24,253 'When I was little she used to change my diapers.' 231 00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:26,273 Now, I change hers. 232 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,150 Can you feel me? 233 00:09:29,183 --> 00:09:31,183 Make ithot! 234 00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:34,156 Whoo! Whoo! Oh, man. 235 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,000 Now, if you learned one thing from my family, it's.. 236 00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:39,320 ...don't date your cousins. Ha! 237 00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:42,350 'Can you feel me? Make ithot!' 238 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:46,200 [cheering] 239 00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:47,323 [whistling] 240 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,380 Mr. Williams. Mr. Marlon Williams. 241 00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:54,346 Marlon Williams, ladies and gentlemen. 242 00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:57,223 Let's hear it for him. Okay. First time doing stand-up. 243 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,350 'First time.' 244 00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:00,253 Okay, now put your hands together 245 00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:05,663 for the comedy stylings of..."Doo Doo Beige." 246 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,100 [audience clapping] 247 00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:12,376 Marlon, that was the best debut I have ever seen. 248 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,330 That was a really nice touch having your family 249 00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,500 right out front there. 250 00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:17,660 Hey, you know, you keep this up 251 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,370 you might get your own sitcom. 252 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,370 Really? Hey, maybe I can get on the WB, huh? 253 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,830 [chuckles] 254 00:10:24,183 --> 00:10:25,373 Ooh! 255 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,200 Yes! 256 00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:29,103 Oh, man. 257 00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,830 Wassup? 258 00:10:32,116 --> 00:10:35,156 So? How did you like me? 259 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,350 You humiliated us. 260 00:10:37,383 --> 00:10:40,103 You are the one who put them tic-tac shoes on. 261 00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,273 Come on, pop, you know I'm only joking. 262 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,130 Pop. 263 00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:47,316 Pop! 264 00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:51,130 Grandma...grandma, now, you know I was only joking. 265 00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:55,226 - Right? - No, I don't, Marlon. 266 00:10:55,266 --> 00:10:57,296 [crying] You broke my heart. 267 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,370 [instrumental music] 268 00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:07,166 [instrumental music] 269 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,120 I can't believe Marlon putting our business 270 00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:10,270 in the street like that. 271 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:13,170 Making up all that stuff how I can't get a man. 272 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,250 Or-or pop serving pigeon. 273 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,663 He-he made it up. Yeah, that's what he did. 274 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,330 He made it up. Don't serve no pigeon. 275 00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,830 Anyway, if I was you guys, I wouldn't worry about it. 276 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:25,166 It was only one night 277 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,000 and nobody's gonna remember anything, okay? 278 00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:29,270 - Good morning, everybody. - 'Morning.' 279 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,170 - Oh, you got some mail, Dee. - Oh. 280 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,280 - It's a love letter. - Oh. 281 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,166 Psych! 282 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,180 While I was waiting 283 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,266 here's a coupon for you. 284 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,370 Fifty cents off a box of Depends. 285 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,230 (Pops) 'Hey, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.' 286 00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,176 Where you goin'? Don't you want your usual? 287 00:11:42,216 --> 00:11:44,326 Sorry, Pops, after last night 288 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,330 I'm eating across the street. 289 00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:48,316 Now Marlon got my customers walking out on me. 290 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,120 Forget your customers. 291 00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,150 He embarrassedme 292 00:11:51,183 --> 00:11:53,333 in front of my best friends. 293 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,300 All I know is he'd better not be at that 294 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,273 card game tonight 'cause I don't know what I'll do there. 295 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,330 Alright, relax. Don't worry about it. 296 00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,370 It's just gonna be the four of us, okay? 297 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,370 Hey, what's poppin', people? 298 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,180 Oh, I see. 299 00:12:04,216 --> 00:12:06,376 Y'all going to try and give me the silent treatment. 300 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,120 Well, just remember, my girlfriend's inflatable. 301 00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,120 [laughs sarcastically] 302 00:12:11,150 --> 00:12:12,200 She talk dirty like this. 303 00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:13,383 [hissing] 304 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,320 Okay? 305 00:12:16,350 --> 00:12:18,660 Make ithot-uh! 306 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,830 [laughing] 307 00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:23,826 What's up, techie? How you doing? 308 00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:25,116 Come on, pop, you know I'm only joking, man. 309 00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:28,320 Besides, look, the dude said I could do stand-up anytime. 310 00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:30,170 - Okay? - Oh, Marlon. 311 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,370 It's just not right making fun of us on stage. 312 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,320 Come on, grandma, everybody know you wear diapers. 313 00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,120 You can hear it when you walk. 314 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,000 [imitating diaper rustling] 315 00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:43,233 - And I encouraged you. - Hold on, Dee. 316 00:12:43,266 --> 00:12:45,126 Shawn was the one that told me to talk about my family. 317 00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:46,996 No, no, no, I told you to talk 318 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:48,280 about your own personal experiences 319 00:12:48,316 --> 00:12:50,366 not insult us. 320 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,500 Forget it, you ain't cute. 321 00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,270 And you ain't funny, you B-E-T comic. 322 00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,350 The nerve of these people. 323 00:12:58,383 --> 00:13:02,103 Pop, come on, man, you know, a brother's only joke.. 324 00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,333 Look, if you're gonna get all sensitive, then forget you then. 325 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,216 I don't need you. 326 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,300 Okay? I don't need none of y'all. 327 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,333 What do you mean I need them? 328 00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:14,096 I got you booked on a showcase for "Showtime At The Apollo." 329 00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,333 I told the talent booker all about you 330 00:13:15,366 --> 00:13:18,216 but without your family, you don't have an act. 331 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,330 Sure, I do. 332 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,166 See, I made a whole new act 333 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,330 with brand-new material. 334 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:27,500 Yeah, see, this-this is my impression of Marlon Brando.. 335 00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:28,270 ...in "Booty Call." 336 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,320 [imitating Marlon Brando] Come here, my sexual chocolate. 337 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,146 Let big daddy tap that booty. 338 00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:43,270 Come here, let me pull you by your weave and spank that booty 339 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,160 and knock boots with you. 340 00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,173 Like I said, without your family 341 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,830 you don't have an act. 342 00:13:53,116 --> 00:13:56,656 I mean, watching them squirm was the best part. 343 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:59,380 Now either you get them here or you don't go on. 344 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,270 You know that works for me 345 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:04,250 but here's where I have issues or problems. 346 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,130 I don't know if they'll come. 347 00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:11,226 Well, you gotta ask yourself a question, kid. 348 00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:13,266 How bad do you wanna make it? 349 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:19,660 They'll be here. 350 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,270 I hope. 351 00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,500 [hip-hop music] 352 00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:24,170 - New deal, you in, Shawn? - I'm in. 353 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,270 Here we go. Read them and weep. 354 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,280 Hey, everybody! 355 00:14:28,316 --> 00:14:31,276 'How's my favorite people doing?' 356 00:14:31,316 --> 00:14:32,366 Huh? 357 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,100 Oh, how are y'all gonna play cards without me? 358 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,103 Why didn't somebody call me? 359 00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:39,233 Well, since I am the cheapest man in New York 360 00:14:39,266 --> 00:14:41,326 I fold. What about you, Dee? 361 00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:44,116 I fold too. 362 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,150 Since I've been so busy worrying about how to get a man 363 00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:50,003 I guess I wasn't paying attention. 364 00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,150 Well, I fold too. 365 00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:54,173 I guess I'm too cute to play by myself. 366 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,180 Well, well, well. 367 00:14:57,216 --> 00:15:02,656 I guess the old crusty diaper-lady wins the pot. 368 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,300 Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Alright, guys? 369 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:08,223 Beat me, hang me, spank me. I'm sorry. 370 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,330 I mean, hey, you know what? 371 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,170 I rewrote my whole act and this time 372 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,160 I only talk about myself. 373 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,250 How can we trust you? 374 00:15:15,283 --> 00:15:18,253 Come on, grandma. Look at this face. 375 00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:26,276 Come on, grandma, I mean, after all, I.. 376 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,826 I just.. 377 00:15:28,116 --> 00:15:29,316 I, um.. 378 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,660 Poor baby. 379 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,150 I just miss my family. 380 00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:39,366 I just miss my father. 381 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:48,250 Well.. 382 00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:50,103 ...I still say you shouldn't 383 00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,133 air out dirty laundry in public. 384 00:15:53,366 --> 00:15:55,116 Who do you think we are, the Kennedys? 385 00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,150 Get your hands off me! 386 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,220 You know, you're right, pop. 387 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:03,660 Alright, Marlon, I'm gonna give you one more shot. 388 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,150 Yeah! 389 00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:05,353 Back it up. 390 00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:08,183 Come on, everybody, let's play cards. 391 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,830 My sweet baby. 392 00:16:12,116 --> 00:16:14,276 I knew you wouldn't let the family down. 393 00:16:14,316 --> 00:16:17,146 [chuckles] 394 00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:18,203 'My deal.' 395 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:21,353 It's a conspiracy out there, trust me. 396 00:16:21,383 --> 00:16:24,233 Why do they call it black Monday 397 00:16:24,266 --> 00:16:26,276 when the stock market crashes? 398 00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:30,826 You ain't never heard of no white Monday! 399 00:16:30,116 --> 00:16:31,216 Ain't that somethin'? 400 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,100 It's tricky, homie. It is tricky! 401 00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,303 'The white lady in the front lookin' at me..' 402 00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:38,153 Sittin' there lookin' at me like this. 403 00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:42,153 [imitating white woman] Who taught thisNegro how to read? 404 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,120 The nerve of him! 405 00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:48,300 I'm appalled! 406 00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:52,323 That is very, very phony, homie. 407 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,220 [laughing] 408 00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:58,120 [applause] 409 00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,250 Tell 'em like it is, bro! 410 00:17:00,283 --> 00:17:03,233 All set, Marlon. Your family is right up front. 411 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,160 Mr. Masada, I'm a little nervous. 412 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,370 Listen, kid, you score tonight, forget the sitcom 413 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,250 you could get a movie deal. 414 00:17:12,283 --> 00:17:14,353 Now, just relax, take a deep breath 415 00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:17,333 and rip into your loved ones. 416 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:18,270 You'll be fine. 417 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,346 [instrumental music] 418 00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:26,663 [applause] 419 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,380 Okay, ladies and gentlemen.. 420 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,250 ...an up-and-coming new comic 421 00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:30,323 knocked us dead the other night. 422 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,220 You're gonna love this guy 423 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,280 Mr. Marlon Williams. 424 00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:36,146 Knock 'em dead, Marlon. 425 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,333 Hi, peoples! 426 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,376 (audience) Hi. 427 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,160 (Marlon) 'Alright. Let me get the spotlight on my family.' 428 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,150 'And make ithot-uh!' 429 00:17:52,216 --> 00:17:53,376 'Yeah!' 430 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,180 Yeah, yeah. 431 00:17:56,216 --> 00:17:58,266 That right there is my pops. 432 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,500 Pops own his own diner. 433 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,160 Um.. 434 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,250 '...he, uh..' 435 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:07,833 [stuttering] '...he owns th-this, this diner..' 436 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,180 You guys should eat there sometime. 437 00:18:10,216 --> 00:18:12,496 It's a, it's a wonderful restaurant. 438 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,170 He serves great food. It's down at the new Neidermeyer Building. 439 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,250 So anytime you wanna check it out, go to Pop's, please. 440 00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:19,333 Y'all give it up for my family sittin' in the front row. 441 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,326 [applause] 442 00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:25,176 A real man doesn't talk about his family. 443 00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:27,226 No, I-I wouldn't do that. 444 00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:29,656 But I will talk about this brother 445 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,200 with the big old eggplant head sittin' right there. 446 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:35,333 'Get the spotlight on him and make ithot-uh!' 447 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,296 Yeah! 448 00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,316 Yeah! 449 00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:41,100 That brother look like someone kicked the hell 450 00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,223 out of Louis Gossett, Jr. 451 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:45,000 [all laughing] 452 00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:47,220 Your head look like half a buttock. 453 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,180 Why don't you and this brother over here get together 454 00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:51,216 'and y'all can make an ass out of yourself.' 455 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,300 [laughing] 456 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,303 Look at you, what you staring at with that old yellow eyes, man? 457 00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:58,153 'You all black with them yellow eyes' 458 00:18:58,183 --> 00:19:00,503 'looking like a coke with lemon.' 459 00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:01,130 He go outside 460 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,996 and he, he stand by the intersection 461 00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,150 traffic just slow down. 462 00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:07,183 Hello, stop at yellow! 463 00:19:07,216 --> 00:19:09,326 [laughing] 464 00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:11,276 But y'all, y'all have been wonderful. 465 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:15,826 Peace, love and, uh, make ithot-uh! 466 00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:18,830 [applause] 467 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:21,156 [crowd cheering] 468 00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:26,376 Marlon Williams, ladies and gentlemen. 469 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,220 Marlon Williams. 470 00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:32,003 Okay, and now.. 471 00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:36,230 ...the comedy of..."Cabbage-head." 472 00:19:36,266 --> 00:19:39,156 [applause] 473 00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,146 [indistinct chattering] 474 00:19:41,183 --> 00:19:42,253 Now, did you see that? 475 00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:43,373 I killed out there. 476 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,180 And I didn't have to make fun of my family. 477 00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:47,366 Are you crazy? What were you doing up there? 478 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,380 Come on, Bud, I couldn't hurt my family's feelings again. 479 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,380 I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the talent-booker. 480 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,330 Yeah, he was here, right? 481 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,370 - Did he like me? - Like you? 482 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,200 Hehated 483 00:19:57,233 --> 00:20:00,663 The talent-booker was the bald guy! 484 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,170 [gasps] 485 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,100 My bad. 486 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,203 Nice going, genius. 487 00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:07,283 This could really hurt the club. 488 00:20:07,316 --> 00:20:10,116 Mr. Masada, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt the club. 489 00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:11,330 I-I'm-I'm really sorry. 490 00:20:11,366 --> 00:20:13,326 I'm sorry too. 491 00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:16,266 Maybe it'd best if you didn't come around here anymore. 492 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,660 Unless of course, you become famous 493 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,130 and I can make money off you. 494 00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:26,130 [indistinct chattering] 495 00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:31,180 Great show. Hey, you were funny. 496 00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:33,176 - Thank you. - Hercules! Hercules.. 497 00:20:33,216 --> 00:20:34,316 Yeah, man, you was damn funny. 498 00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,180 - Thank you, man. - I'm proud of you. 499 00:20:36,216 --> 00:20:38,656 Yo, for a minute there, I got a little nervous though. 500 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,230 I thought you were gonna start talking about us again. 501 00:20:40,266 --> 00:20:41,296 Oh, no, no, no. 502 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:44,233 You know I wouldn't do that. 503 00:20:44,266 --> 00:20:46,496 Alright, I thought about it. 504 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,830 Y'all did look like victims though. 505 00:20:49,116 --> 00:20:51,316 Only thing is, I kinda messed up. 506 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,250 You know the, the bald-head guy I was snappin' at? 507 00:20:53,283 --> 00:20:55,253 - 'Uh-huh.' - He's the Apollo booker. 508 00:20:55,283 --> 00:20:57,273 - Ooh. - 'Yeah.' 509 00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:00,660 Owner said I can't do stand-up here anymore. 510 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,500 - Oh, man. - Well.. 511 00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,130 At least you kept your promise. 512 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,376 - That's right. - The family. 513 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,270 That's right, crusty. 514 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,100 [laughing] 515 00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:11,223 Don't worry, this is not the only comedy club 516 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:12,230 that you can play in. 517 00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:13,246 Yeah, Marlon, you could go 518 00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:14,333 to any comedy club around town. 519 00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:16,126 Anyone would be glad to have you. 520 00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,146 Yeah, but next time don't talk about that crazy stuff 521 00:21:18,183 --> 00:21:20,383 about me being cheap. 522 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,830 Now, come on, let's crawl out of here 523 00:21:22,116 --> 00:21:23,176 before we have to pay for our drink. 524 00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:24,246 Get down. 525 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,123 Slow down. My bunions are acting up. 526 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,370 Listen, I think I'm gonna hang out 527 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,660 'cause Cabbage-head keeps winkin' at me 528 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,150 I don't know why. 529 00:21:34,183 --> 00:21:36,503 Oh, go on, groupie. 530 00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:39,380 [imitates Dee] Cabbage-head, he might have a lot of money or something. 531 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,370 Hey, kid, you know I wrote a whole new act, right? 532 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,500 - Get out of here. - Yeah, man. Brand-new material. 533 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,180 This is my impression of Little Richard 534 00:21:46,216 --> 00:21:48,226 in "Boyz N The Hood." Okay? 535 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:53,166 Remember...Little Richard in "Boyz N The Hood." 536 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,660 [imitating Little Richard] Oh, you see, I-I-I, I started gang banging. Yes. 537 00:22:00,383 --> 00:22:02,283 The police cars, homie, very scary, homie. 538 00:22:02,316 --> 00:22:04,096 They call it black and white. 539 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:07,153 But it's really the outside of the car is all white. 540 00:22:07,183 --> 00:22:08,253 The only thing black about it 541 00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,173 is the brother gettin' out the car! 542 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,220 Oh, trust me, the white lady over here looking at me 543 00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:14,280 "I'm too real for you. I'm too real for you, homie." 544 00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,116 I am too real for you, homie. 545 00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:17,180 White lady looking at me like 546 00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:21,826 "ThisNegro 547 00:22:21,116 --> 00:22:22,096 Martin Luther King 548 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:24,333 didn't fight this hard for this! 549 00:22:24,366 --> 00:22:26,326 (Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.