1 00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:02,879 When did you think, "I'm in a cult"? 2 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:05,964 The moment the cat stuff started happening. 3 00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,282 I want the world to know... 4 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,595 Desperate people do desperate things. 5 00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:15,348 I believe those ashes are human. 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,350 But I believe they are not my human. 7 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,690 I definitely think it goes with my dress. 8 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:44,094 I didn't even call Sean to tell him I was doing this. 9 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,548 I don't want the public's perception to be swayed 10 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:51,551 as if this is a payoff or if this is a favor. 11 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,555 This is just brotherly love. 12 00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:01,894 So, there was one day me and Sean went up to my mom's house. 13 00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:04,897 My parents used to love to play blackjack. 14 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,820 And everybody's sitting at the table playing cards 15 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,776 and they see us come in. 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,820 And at that time we had the germ of fame. 17 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,655 I had a record or two on the radio. 18 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,458 They say "Y'all play a hand of cards with us. 19 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,285 "Y'all got all the money." 20 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,790 Sean didn't know how to play blackjack. 21 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,081 We played one hand of cards with him. 22 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,625 Cards is being dealt. 23 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,587 Sean doesn't know to turn his card over and only reveal one. 24 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,756 So he had both of his cards turned up, 25 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,508 and he wasn't hiding them. 26 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,509 And people laughed. 27 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,679 "Boy, you better hide your cards. 28 00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:34,677 Don't be showing your cards." 29 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,097 And he looked at me like "Yo, what I got?" 30 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,348 And I said, "You're good. 31 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,433 Don't even worry about it. You're gonna win." 32 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:41,771 And he said, "What do you mean?" 33 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:42,939 I said, "You're gonna win. Don't worry. 34 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,855 You got 20. It takes 21 to win." 35 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,608 He says, "For real?" 36 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:51,611 He says, "It's guaranteed that I win?" 37 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:55,615 I said, "It ain't guaranteed, but shit, it's damn near guaranteed." 38 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,785 He said, "I want it to be guaranteed I win. 39 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,703 Give me another card." 40 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,040 Everybody at the table looked at him like, "Boy, are you crazy?" 41 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,627 Dealer deals the card, and it's an ace. 42 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,382 Twenty one. 43 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,466 The whole table went ham. 44 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,427 My God. Who is this boy? 45 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,640 He took all the money off the table, 46 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:23,226 put it in his pocket, and we left. 47 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,353 Everybody's yelling for him to come back. 48 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,813 He said, "No, I won." 49 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,192 Who does that? 50 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,527 That's Sean. 51 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:33,820 All or nothing. 52 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,114 That's it. 53 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,656 That's who he is. 54 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,351 Sean Combs. You can never count him out. 55 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,687 It's like the life of a cat. 56 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,359 Nine? 57 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,443 Shit. 58 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,076 I think that what has happened in Puffy's life 59 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:26,372 is the byproduct of extreme good fortune, 60 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:32,462 and that extreme good fortune can also be a paradox of power. 61 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,547 It's a yin and a yang. 62 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,425 In order to get all the goodies, 63 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,261 you've got to have this confidence 64 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,846 that you can get all the goodies. 65 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,642 And so Puffy created a cult of personality. 66 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,986 After the nightclub shooting, 67 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,444 when he was acquitted, he went into PR overdrive, 68 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,571 Who said we had to have one name? 69 00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:02,158 He rebranded himself as P. Diddy. 70 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,160 He wanted to put a clear divider 71 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,247 between who he was and where he's going. 72 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,835 You know, I don't really just play by the rules. 73 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,583 I create my own rules. 74 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:14,337 Puff wanted to get rid of this image of him as a thug. 75 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,713 He's changing his name. 76 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,883 But is he a changed man? 77 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,102 Puffy knew how the media worked, 78 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,480 and he knew how important it was to maintain an image. 79 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,524 I have a big announcement to make today. 80 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,151 I will run the New York City Marathon 81 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,989 to raise money and awareness for three charities. 82 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,368 We start to see Sean Combs 83 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,450 engage in these kind of stunts. 84 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:51,124 In the 2004 election, he starts to talk about this Vote or Die campaign. 85 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,625 This election is life or death. 86 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,130 Now we're going to make voting cool. 87 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,714 He's now mingling with future President Obama 88 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,174 at the time when Obama's career was on the rise. 89 00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:03,469 I just want to say how much I appreciate Puff Daddy 90 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,389 for doing the kinds of work that he's doing 91 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,308 because he doesn't have to do this. 92 00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:12,352 Sean Combs shows up in a Broadway production 93 00:05:12,477 --> 00:05:14,647 that's revisiting A Raisin in the Sun, 94 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:18,318 one of the first plays by a Black woman produced on Broadway. 95 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:22,071 Sean P. Diddy Combs is winning over audiences on Broadway. 96 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,991 Combs found a way to rise again. 97 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,993 Is there anything this man can't do? 98 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:35,043 He was seen, to many people in the media, as a safe person of color. 99 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,379 At the time, reality TV was exploding. 100 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,093 There were all these competition reality shows 101 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:44,177 with mega moguls and different aspects of culture. 102 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,554 And there were contestants vying to be able to have it on their resume. 103 00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:49,682 They worked for Trump, 104 00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:53,519 they worked for Paris Hilton, they worked for Diddy. 105 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,856 I was the director, director of photography and co-executive producer 106 00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:58,691 of I Want to Work for Diddy on VH1. 107 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,943 To live the dream, you have to work for it. 108 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,446 I Want to Work for Diddy. 109 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,532 I was quite blown away 110 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,368 that I was actually directing this guy 111 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,453 and telling this guy what to do. 112 00:06:10,535 --> 00:06:13,121 I think to work for a narcissist, you have to become one, 113 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,626 and I think that's what the show's success was. 114 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:19,044 Exposing the narcissist in Diddy. 115 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:26,760 The last episode of I Want to Work for Diddy starts at The London hotel. 116 00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:32,225 The brand spanking new never slept in presidential suite. 117 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,395 I was planning to go up and talk to Sean and block it out with him 118 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,605 before we started. My AD is with me, 119 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,400 and I knock on the door, I come in, 120 00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:44,111 and to the right is this pretty grandiose staircase. 121 00:06:44,236 --> 00:06:46,280 So I'm standing there a good five minutes. 122 00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:49,784 He comes down, he's got a robe on, it's open. 123 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,495 He's got nothing on. He's just naked. 124 00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:56,249 Like it was nothing. 125 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,251 He knew I was there. He knew we were waiting. 126 00:06:59,376 --> 00:07:01,421 There was a moment where it's like, "Wow." 127 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,924 I guess somebody at that level can really, truly do, 128 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,760 and say whatever they want to do and say, period. 129 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,101 From the outside, he was this mogul. 130 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:16,936 He was this guy who, you know, could make your dreams come true. 131 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,105 But then, there was the other side. 132 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,357 It might not be so safe. 133 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:29,657 I have not shared my story in a public way. 134 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:33,619 In a very truthful, uncensored way. 135 00:07:35,078 --> 00:07:41,043 I was one of five girls in Danity Kane 136 00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:44,505 on Making the Band 3. 137 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,217 The premise of the show was Diddy was gonna find the next superstar group. 138 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,179 Our first album was number one on the Billboard charts. 139 00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:57,226 First week out, we beat Christina Aguilera and OutKast. 140 00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,854 It was our first single showstopper. 141 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:07,820 Like I love the fact that fans still listen to Danity Kane. 142 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:14,202 It takes a lot for me to allow you to have your experience 143 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,495 and not taint it. 144 00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:17,830 And still 145 00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:24,003 understand what my experience was. 146 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,174 And, um, it was not a good experience. 147 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,134 You know, hearing some of those songs, 148 00:08:30,842 --> 00:08:32,010 bring up... 149 00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:36,724 awful memories. 150 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:42,104 I see myself standing in those dark, scary predatory spaces, 151 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:49,070 and hearing somebody say some of the most degrading things to me, 152 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,197 and at the age of 20 and 21, 153 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,449 having to figure out how to navigate 154 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,537 and not let that person break me down. 155 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,416 I remember one time where he had the cameras there 156 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,629 while we were, like, trying on clothes, so he could watch us. 157 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:10,424 He's going to point this little camera at us for Diddy, 158 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,635 so he can judge our appearance. 159 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,804 I called it like Jedi mind tricks. 160 00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:18,558 This happened so early on. 161 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,768 He was going one by one by one, 162 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,813 just like critiquing our style. 163 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,567 And when he got to me, It wasn't about the clothes. 164 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,988 What's your stomach looking like? 165 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,404 Are you still a little thick? 166 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,823 And I was like, "Well, you know, 167 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,576 next to these skinny girls, I'm always gonna look thick." 168 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,744 I'm working out. I'm running. 169 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,747 I always feel thick next to these skinny chicks. 170 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,420 Puff was just saying, "You look like, you know, you one cheeseburger away. 171 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,084 You know that. You know that, right? 172 00:09:46,209 --> 00:09:47,672 You know that you one cheeseburger away," 173 00:09:47,752 --> 00:09:49,589 like he wanted me to agree with him. 174 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,257 You're like a burger away. 175 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,137 And it was like, like I just, I had to just take it. 176 00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,348 Grit my teeth and let him say what he wanted to say. 177 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,938 I remember feeling like Diddy was this tough love boss. 178 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:09,775 But looking at Making the Band through today's lens 179 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,194 makes it clear that the body shaming, 180 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,406 verbal abuse, intimidation was rampant. 181 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:24,206 He was singling out different ones of us, especially Aubrey. 182 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:29,127 Aubrey always stuck out as one of the stars. 183 00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:30,504 One of the fan favorites. 184 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:34,050 He had an aggressive, intimidating way with her. 185 00:10:34,132 --> 00:10:37,637 I remember one scene where he was like, "What do you have to say?" 186 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,202 Aubrey, you ain't got nothing to say? 187 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,520 You've got such a big mouth when I'm going. 188 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,976 What you got to say? Say it now. 189 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:50,983 The way Puff and Aubrey went back and forth was very uncomfortable 190 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,319 to witness, to watch. 191 00:10:53,401 --> 00:10:55,408 He was the hardest person that you can work for, 192 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,823 and it was torture. 193 00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:00,910 And not the work part of it, but the other stuff. 194 00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,578 I remember her sharing with me... 195 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:12,672 that he has sent her a lot of very inappropriate pictures. 196 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:18,010 I saw a lot of things that he would email her. 197 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:21,764 Very sexual in nature. 198 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,684 Very... just like, 199 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:29,438 overtly like pornographic, 200 00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:31,940 like, things that he wanted to do to her. 201 00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:36,696 She was just kind of like, "What do I do?" 202 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:43,536 I remember telling her, "Girl, put that in a folder. 203 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,286 Send it to your mama. 204 00:11:45,829 --> 00:11:47,331 Save that." 205 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:57,550 Aubrey and I decided to go to New York for Fashion Week. 206 00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:05,808 Aubrey came into my hotel room and told me 207 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:09,395 that she ran into Puff in person, 208 00:12:10,478 --> 00:12:13,440 and he had pulled her in close, 209 00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:17,278 and he said, "Now you're hot enough that I can you. 210 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,405 I can you now." 211 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,824 It was like a moment of shock. 212 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:28,079 A moment of... your stomach turning. 213 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,249 A moment of just like... 214 00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:35,920 We're definitely in over our heads. 215 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:40,134 And then all of a sudden it was this mandatory meeting that needed to happen. 216 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,260 We thought we were "off". 217 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,095 We thought we had finished filming. 218 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,262 It was just like... 219 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,394 What in the entire? 220 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,858 So what do you think is gonna happen tomorrow? 221 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,906 Yeah, we just walked into the lion's den. 222 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,285 We get to the Bad Boy Offices. 223 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,954 We're in the conference room. 224 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:12,124 It was very Donald Trump Apprentice style. 225 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,044 The vision that I had for the group, 226 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,712 this ain't the vision that I'm on. 227 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,798 You know what I'm saying? 228 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,300 The whole group of Danity Kane sitting at the table 229 00:13:22,425 --> 00:13:25,679 when Puff was saying to Aubrey she was promiscuous, 230 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,641 saying that he didn't like her image and her body. 231 00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:30,396 I don't like what she does to the brand 232 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,188 when she's wilding out there being overly raunchy, promiscuous. 233 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,064 Puff fired Aubrey. 234 00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,628 I don't want you in the group no more. 235 00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:41,569 And then he turned to me and said, "Get out." 236 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,738 You can go too. 237 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,159 I believe that he fired Aubrey... 238 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:52,581 One, because she did not succumb to his advances. 239 00:13:54,124 --> 00:14:00,172 Two, because he wanted her to feel powerless 240 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,843 and question her worth. 241 00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:06,679 I feel like that's probably the same reason 242 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,264 why he probably got rid of me, too. 243 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,060 At the time, 244 00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:18,357 the press was really very much against the girls of Danity Kane, 245 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,694 making it seem like they were the problem. 246 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:29,617 There is a real sense of fear surrounding Diddy. 247 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,454 If you go through a timeline of his history, 248 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:36,208 there is that kind of sprinkle or a trail of violence, 249 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,294 of aggression, of intimidation, 250 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,254 that has popped up throughout the years. 251 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,964 But it always kind of was explained away 252 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:47,343 because Diddy is so big and has so much power. 253 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:57,062 By 2007, Diddy's wealth just starts rapidly multiplying. 254 00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,774 Sean Combs is one of the most influential beacons 255 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,401 in luxury culture today. 256 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,447 He then lands a huge partnership with Diageo. 257 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,992 I am proud to announce a groundbreaking strategic alliance 258 00:15:10,074 --> 00:15:12,494 between myself and CIROC Vodka. 259 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,247 He becomes synonymous with this brand, 260 00:15:16,372 --> 00:15:20,252 and he transcends everything that he had been before. 261 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,964 This would prove to be so lucrative for Diddy. 262 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:27,300 He later expands to tequila with DeLeon. 263 00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:29,637 Over the course of their relationship, 264 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,014 Diageo paid Combs a billion dollars. 265 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,516 I am the American dream. This is Black history. 266 00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:40,439 He continued to expand his brand. 267 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:43,692 He got into media with REVOLT TV. 268 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,778 I am the former managing editor 269 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,155 and global news anchor for REVOLT TV. 270 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,115 Hey everyone, and welcome to the show. 271 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,492 I'm Mara S. Campo. 272 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,661 It was the only place I've ever worked 273 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:57,790 where I felt like I could show up 100% as my authentic self. 274 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,961 There was one experience that I actually found to be quite funny, 275 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,629 where I had a bottle of Casamigos 276 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,967 that I had to leave in my office. 277 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:08,634 When I got back to my office, the bottle was in the trash. 278 00:16:10,093 --> 00:16:13,137 They said if Puffy had come in and seen a bottle of Casamigos, 279 00:16:13,262 --> 00:16:16,475 meaning something that was not DeLeon, he would have gone ballistic. 280 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:22,814 To be successful in business, you have to take your brands very, very seriously. 281 00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,315 And clearly he did that. 282 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,193 What's going on? Just sending you some love. 283 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,903 We're on set. We're working hard. 284 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,321 We know y'all working hard. 285 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,948 Love. 286 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:34,410 My experience in the Diddyverse was actually quite positive, 287 00:16:34,492 --> 00:16:37,079 although I did not directly work for him. 288 00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:40,082 But what we've heard from those who have worked with him 289 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:46,338 is that he used the same fear and intimidation and coercion tactics 290 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,174 in the workplace as he did with his enemies. 291 00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,890 I was Puff's personal chef. 292 00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:01,103 Since the news broke about Puff, it brought everything back. 293 00:17:01,185 --> 00:17:04,523 I've been quiet for 17, 18 years, 294 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,192 and because of it being brought back, 295 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:10,029 I went into a trunk that I have in my house 296 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,031 that actually had my journal entries from around that time, 297 00:17:13,781 --> 00:17:15,034 and I read over them. 298 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,039 And there's a lot of things that I forgot or buried. 299 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,045 I started working for Puff in the summer of 2007. 300 00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:28,964 I am Sean Combs' personal chef. 301 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,051 I was in my early 20s, and I'm just like, you know, I'm excited. 302 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:36,305 His level of success, his level of power, and his reach. 303 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:39,808 Who wouldn't want to be associated with him? 304 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,769 Puff was the top. 305 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,898 - Hey, Chef. - Yeah. 306 00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:44,274 Mr. Combs would like to see. 307 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,714 What do we got for dessert? 308 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:46,732 Fruit. 309 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,735 I was definitely intimidated. 310 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,529 I have some of my journal entries here. 311 00:17:55,657 --> 00:18:01,080 Puff would notoriously berate you, embarrass you, belittle you. 312 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:06,752 I was having constant anxiety attacks and heart palpitations. 313 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:11,256 I was diagnosed with stress induced alopecia. 314 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,925 My hair started to fall out. 315 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,428 And then I saw a cardiologist 316 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,598 who said that my body couldn't handle the stress levels. 317 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:25,104 He said to me, "If you keep this job any longer than a year, 318 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,271 you'll be dead." 319 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,316 When I discussed what was going on 320 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,444 with a few other people that worked, it was kind of like a joke. 321 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:36,115 It was like, "yeah, well, you're official now. Welcome." 322 00:18:36,197 --> 00:18:37,286 You know, you're not really official 323 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,618 until you have some sort of breakdown around here. 324 00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,539 I think his expectation of others 325 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,125 was how he operated within his own life. 326 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,962 He really is a "can't stop, won't stop. No sleep." 327 00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:53,549 That is really how he operates. 328 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,843 But there's also a lot of drugs being used. 329 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,011 I saw lots of different pills. 330 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:02,474 I know that there was like ecstasy, definitely alcohol. 331 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:05,351 So I kind of was like, "He's just tripping because he's coming down." 332 00:19:05,476 --> 00:19:08,689 Like I'm not paying him any attention. 333 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:13,360 But there was a specific time Puff comes downstairs and he's yelling, 334 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,655 "I'm so tired of hearing about you and your attitude, 335 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,778 "and all you've got to do is cook the food." 336 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,164 Me and him are like face to face like this, 337 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:29,168 and he's just like, he does like this to my forehead, 338 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,003 and he's just like, you know, like, 339 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,092 and I'm telling him like, "Don't touch me," 340 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,550 and now tears are coming down my eyes. 341 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,678 And he's like, "You're crying, you're crying 342 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:41,263 and there's kids starving in Africa, 343 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,056 and you over here crying? 344 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,902 And all you got to do is cook food?" 345 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,228 He was just getting madder and madder. 346 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,690 And so I walk away and I'm opening up the refrigerator. 347 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,860 And I remember him saying, "Yeah, you're crazy." 348 00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:58,197 And then I just remembered slamming the door 349 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,449 and being like, "Yeah, that's right. I'm crazy. 350 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,158 And you know what else? I quit." 351 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:08,248 Me saying that I quit like, enraged him more, 352 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,375 because he's like, "You can't quit on me. 353 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,043 You can't quit on me." 354 00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:15,589 And I just remember turning around and saying, " you." 355 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,716 And when I turned around and I said that to him, 356 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,218 he used all of his force, 357 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,053 and he just shoved me, like he pushed me. 358 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,310 And I went flying outside of the doorway 359 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:31,187 and I ended up on my elbows and my butt. 360 00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:37,735 I'm telling the office, I'm gonna sue this mother." 361 00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:39,238 They understood that I was upset, 362 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:42,991 but they're like, "If you sue him, your career is over. 363 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:45,869 You will be blackballed. 364 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,873 He does have the power to do that, and he will do that." 365 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,503 Puff scared me. 366 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,506 So I kept quiet about things that I knew 367 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:01,093 because I was afraid that something might happen to me. 368 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,646 I've seen Diddy in incidents 369 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:12,104 with multiple women with violence. 370 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,273 One time, I remember telling him, 371 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,566 "Yo, I think you got a problem." 372 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,821 He looked at me and he was like, 373 00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:19,945 "I ain't got no mother problem." 374 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,738 So he said, "Sometimes you just gotta 375 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,907 let these hoes know who the boss is." 376 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,453 From 2006 to 2012, 377 00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:31,581 nobody else spent more time with Puff than I did. 378 00:21:32,581 --> 00:21:34,626 I was his everyday bodyguard. 379 00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:37,838 It meant so much to me to get with Diddy 380 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:41,133 because of who I was and what I've been through. 381 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,510 I was incarcerated for a little while, 382 00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:45,928 so to me, that was a stepping up. 383 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,266 One of the reasons that I got with Puff 384 00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:52,101 was because he was a older guy, 385 00:21:52,226 --> 00:21:57,816 so I felt like it's just a matter of time before he simmers down. 386 00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:00,777 But he was still waking me up at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning 387 00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:03,280 talking about, "Yo, we getting ready to go to the club?" 388 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:05,991 And I remember lots of drugs. 389 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,326 When he was on drugs, 390 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:11,620 it enabled him to stay up for two or three days at a time. 391 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:15,792 At that time, you had different people that Diddy did respect, 392 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:18,211 telling him, You need help." 393 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:24,259 And when that didn't happen, I seen a spiral and the spiral was going down. 394 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:29,681 There was a time he had a fight in Miami, 395 00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,892 and when we was running out the door, 396 00:22:31,975 --> 00:22:33,518 he seemed to think it was funny. 397 00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:36,521 He looked at me and he told me, he said, "I got time, Bonds." 398 00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:37,776 I said, "What you got time for?" 399 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:41,026 He said, "I got enough money for one more big fight 400 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,903 that I could pay the people off." 401 00:22:42,985 --> 00:22:45,405 In my mind, I was like, "Yo, this dude is crazy." 402 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:49,076 Who wants to get into a fight to have to pay somebody? 403 00:22:49,158 --> 00:22:53,830 Diddy, he always wanted you to agree with what he said, 404 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,375 and if you don't agree with what he said, 405 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,251 he had his way of getting rid of you. 406 00:22:59,418 --> 00:23:01,171 Coming home from jail, 407 00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:04,341 I couldn't move on to nothing better. 408 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:09,221 And so I was even willing to turn a blind eye to some of the bad things 409 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:11,514 because Diddy would always say, 410 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:13,517 "You should be thankful for being here." 411 00:23:15,018 --> 00:23:17,896 He was just a master manipulator. 412 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:22,609 So when I look at him now, I say, the respect that I had for him, 413 00:23:22,692 --> 00:23:26,029 the way that I looked up to him when I first started, 414 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,949 it's all gone because I know it's a facade. 415 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:36,540 I like to value my success on not the monetary aspect. 416 00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:41,293 It's how many lives I could touch and change and help to give a chance to. 417 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:47,050 Diddy did such a good job of presenting himself. 418 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,261 And so I, like most of the world, 419 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:53,348 did not fully realize the extent of the darkness. 420 00:23:55,016 --> 00:23:58,728 Lil Rod is the first man that has come forward 421 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:03,399 with some of these allegations of sexual assault. 422 00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:07,904 There are a lot of things that stood out in Lil Rod's lawsuit. 423 00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:12,075 "Mr. Jones witnessed, experienced, and endured many things 424 00:24:12,158 --> 00:24:15,328 that went far beyond his role as a producer on The Love Album." 425 00:24:18,831 --> 00:24:20,792 When I started working with Puffy, 426 00:24:20,917 --> 00:24:24,087 I was very, very excited. For me, 427 00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:28,258 I had already won just to be sitting in a room with him. 428 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:31,094 It didn't get any better than that. 429 00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:37,767 But knowing everything that I know now, I would never work for Puffy. 430 00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:44,983 My name is Rodney Jones Junior, also known as Lil Rod. 431 00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:49,488 Off The Grid for Sean Combs. 432 00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:52,782 Working with Puff, you never know who you're dealing with. 433 00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:55,202 So some days he would walk in 434 00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:58,872 and be one of the coolest guys. 435 00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:01,625 And then some days he walked in and he's just being a thug. 436 00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:06,546 I remember one time he was asking me 437 00:25:06,629 --> 00:25:08,590 how much was I going to charge him 438 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,468 for working on his album. 439 00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,303 Before I knew it, he was up in my face. 440 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:17,264 He's like, "Yo, you don't charge me no money. 441 00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:20,393 I'm Puff Daddy. 442 00:25:21,811 --> 00:25:23,146 I'll eat your face off." 443 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:31,321 I never got paid as a producer for The Love Album still to this day. 444 00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:38,411 Puff making threats, that's who he is. 445 00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:41,164 A bully in a suit. 446 00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:46,127 Puffy crossed the line so many times. 447 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:58,514 We were at Puffy's Los Angeles house, working in the studio. 448 00:25:58,639 --> 00:26:00,684 He says, "I want to work in my bathroom. 449 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,226 Everybody bring everything." 450 00:26:02,351 --> 00:26:04,562 So we break down the studio, 451 00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:07,023 get the instruments and go to his bathroom as usual. 452 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,859 And he strips himself in front of us 453 00:26:09,943 --> 00:26:11,860 and jumps right into the shower. 454 00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:19,035 But he's looking directly at me. 455 00:26:20,036 --> 00:26:21,037 You know what I mean? 456 00:26:24,206 --> 00:26:29,212 I found myself getting a pat on my butt. 457 00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:37,721 It felt uncomfortable, and still feels uncomfortable. 458 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:45,061 I was very unsure what to think and how to feel. 459 00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:52,068 It's not something that I ever want to happen again. 460 00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:57,907 I did at some point raise this issue to one of the chief of staff 461 00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,283 and she would tell me, 462 00:26:59,408 --> 00:27:02,579 "that's just his way of showing he likes you or loves you. 463 00:27:02,662 --> 00:27:05,081 You should just downplay it like it's nothing." 464 00:27:05,206 --> 00:27:08,376 And it just happened over and over. 465 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:15,258 Working with him, there was a lot of abuse that came with it. 466 00:27:27,562 --> 00:27:28,605 No. 467 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:36,363 There's so much more that he did. 468 00:27:36,446 --> 00:27:41,117 Puffy would require us to go to the club 469 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:45,914 and bring back multiple choices of women 470 00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:53,379 for himself and whoever he deemed necessary to have fun with. 471 00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:58,468 So more than often, we did spend a lot of our time going to the strip clubs 472 00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:03,181 to get sex workers to bring back to the house. 473 00:28:03,306 --> 00:28:06,017 You'll see girls come at the Miami house. 474 00:28:06,142 --> 00:28:08,061 That happened quite often. 475 00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:11,231 Lots of women, lots of partying, 476 00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:14,734 lots of drugs, lots of alcohol. 477 00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:20,072 I even found myself a couple of times 478 00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:22,658 waking up next to some of the sex workers. 479 00:28:26,162 --> 00:28:31,876 And you know, it felt like it just went from zero to 10, like quickly. 480 00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:39,676 I feel like I was for sure drugged. 481 00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:41,845 I feel like the drinks were spiked. 482 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:48,560 It's not like I don't know how to handle my liquor, 483 00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:51,229 so for me to be having a drink 484 00:28:51,354 --> 00:28:53,690 and then I wake up trying to remember 485 00:28:53,773 --> 00:28:56,024 exactly how I got here, what's going on. 486 00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:58,862 I can only imagine that somebody tapped me. 487 00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:06,661 Everybody was sipping on the Puffy juice. 488 00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:12,459 That makes me feel very used, abused. 489 00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:19,340 It makes me feel like only a monster can do this. 490 00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:33,146 As disturbing as Lil Rod's lawsuit was, 491 00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:37,984 there have been more shocking things that have come out. 492 00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:58,629 I've tried to put it away for all these years, 493 00:29:59,506 --> 00:30:01,674 but even now it's a lot. 494 00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:04,928 The color red for me is a trigger. 495 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,348 It took a lot to wear this red shirt today. 496 00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:10,558 Um, you know, 'cause it's a process. 497 00:30:10,683 --> 00:30:12,351 I'm trying... I'm trying to get there. 498 00:30:14,937 --> 00:30:20,235 I can't listen to any Bad Boy music without it triggering me. 499 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,028 I cannot hear his voice 500 00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,697 without it making my stomach hurt. 501 00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:27,158 That effing monster. 502 00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:32,997 Back in 2000, I was living in Queens. 503 00:30:34,123 --> 00:30:36,584 I was a mom in the middle of a divorce, 504 00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:40,046 so kind of maintaining house and home first. 505 00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:45,677 And then I started dating a Bad Boy executive. 506 00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:47,428 Through my boyfriend, 507 00:30:47,553 --> 00:30:51,432 I met Sean Combs at Daddy's House Studio. 508 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,143 It was just a normal, "Hey, how you doing? 509 00:30:54,226 --> 00:30:56,312 "Welcome to the fam. Welcome to Bad Boy." 510 00:30:56,396 --> 00:30:57,647 That was the atmosphere. 511 00:30:57,730 --> 00:31:01,067 Very fun. Very upbeat. 512 00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,820 At that time, Diddy was the jokester, the prankster. 513 00:31:03,903 --> 00:31:07,282 But now, thinking back, Diddy would make remarks 514 00:31:07,407 --> 00:31:10,118 that if you have to really think back to it, 515 00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:12,412 it's like, a little weird. 516 00:31:12,495 --> 00:31:14,125 Like, "Hey, don't leave her alone over here. 517 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:16,916 You've got a pretty girl. She's a little thing." 518 00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:20,295 Now, in hindsight, 519 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:22,922 it's like we're prepping yourself for the kill. 520 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:29,928 And then what happened in 2001 changed my whole life. 521 00:31:34,767 --> 00:31:37,103 I was home in Queens. 522 00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:41,357 I got a call from one of the people at Bad Boy Studios. 523 00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:43,151 They said, "Puff wants to talk to you 524 00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:46,029 because your boyfriend is up at work again." 525 00:31:46,112 --> 00:31:49,824 There was nothing alarming about Puff wanting to talk to me 526 00:31:49,949 --> 00:31:53,745 because we've had a conversation about him screwing up at work 527 00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:57,790 prior to this, to get him back on track. 528 00:32:01,961 --> 00:32:04,172 A little while later, 529 00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:07,175 this burgundy Escalade pulls up, 530 00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:10,637 and Puff was sitting in the back, so I jumped in the back. 531 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,388 And he said, "Hey, what's up? 532 00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:13,973 Do you want something to drink?" 533 00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,308 I said, "Sure, what you got?" 534 00:32:15,391 --> 00:32:18,561 And he was drinking something in a red Solo cup. 535 00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:24,149 And he gave me a clear glass, like a little cup with some white zin. 536 00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:34,035 By the time we got to Daddy's House Studios, 537 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:38,915 I started feeling a little woozy, lightheaded. 538 00:32:38,998 --> 00:32:40,750 I kept doing this, trying to feel my face 539 00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:42,668 because it kept feeling a little numb. 540 00:32:42,793 --> 00:32:45,672 I remember getting out the Escalade. 541 00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:48,091 Still, I'm thinking we're going to go to the studio 542 00:32:48,174 --> 00:32:50,510 and my boyfriend's gonna be there. 543 00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:54,931 But at this time, we went down the hallway 544 00:32:55,014 --> 00:32:57,433 to a door and a lounge that I've never been to. 545 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,437 And I remember sitting on the dark couch. 546 00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:05,066 Puff was sitting there on the couch with me, 547 00:33:05,191 --> 00:33:08,444 and I'm not sure for how long I was sitting there. 548 00:33:11,864 --> 00:33:14,200 And I started feeling a lot more fuzzier, 549 00:33:15,451 --> 00:33:16,619 and I remember crying. 550 00:33:18,870 --> 00:33:23,418 And the next thing I remember 551 00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:26,504 was I was slammed on a pool table. 552 00:33:34,053 --> 00:33:35,053 I was naked 553 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,558 on the pool table, 554 00:33:38,641 --> 00:33:41,894 and my hands were tied behind my back. 555 00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:47,399 And I kept trying to do this to try to figure out what was tying me. 556 00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:51,237 It felt like plastic bags. 557 00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:58,745 Puffy was standing by the bar and he was naked. 558 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:03,499 There was a jar on the bar. 559 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:06,418 And he put on something on his privates that... 560 00:34:06,502 --> 00:34:09,255 Like, I smell it. It smelled like menthol. 561 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,466 And he was slathering it in. 562 00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:34,906 So... 563 00:34:38,618 --> 00:34:41,037 I was still trying to figure out what's going on. 564 00:34:44,457 --> 00:34:47,210 And Puffy came up behind me 565 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,256 and went straight in my anus 566 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:57,053 to where I ended up throwing up on the pool table. 567 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:02,558 And screaming. 568 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,645 And I'm not sure 569 00:35:07,313 --> 00:35:12,318 if there was anything coming out my voice while I was screaming, 570 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:16,322 but I could feel the burn anally, 571 00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:19,909 and I was trying to try to kick him. 572 00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:23,496 I'm short so my feet wouldn't even touch the ground, 573 00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:24,914 and I was trying to kick him 574 00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:27,834 and I was trying to hold on to the table at the same time. 575 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:43,224 At some point, Puffy stopped, went back to the bar, wiped himself off 576 00:35:43,349 --> 00:35:47,186 because I'm looking at him like this, still tied, 577 00:35:47,311 --> 00:35:51,607 and trying to... trying to see everything I possibly can, 578 00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:54,068 and trying to focus 'cause it was a big blur. 579 00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:56,696 And then he came back and went into me vaginally. 580 00:35:57,864 --> 00:35:58,864 And, um... 581 00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:04,537 He said something. 582 00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:07,206 I'm not sure what he said or if he was even talking to me. 583 00:36:07,790 --> 00:36:08,790 Um... 584 00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:12,044 And then when I came back to, 585 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,714 I was back on the couch. 586 00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:30,146 I had stuff all over me, um, from throwing up, drooling, 587 00:36:30,229 --> 00:36:32,315 whatever it was. 588 00:36:32,398 --> 00:36:36,903 But this time, I didn't have the ties anymore on my hands. 589 00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:42,909 I had red panties on. I couldn't find my panties. 590 00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:46,913 I remember putting on my bra, putting my dress on. 591 00:36:46,996 --> 00:36:49,749 I don't even remember if I put the dress on correctly. 592 00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:52,084 And I ran out the door. 593 00:36:53,085 --> 00:36:54,253 I was terrified. 594 00:36:55,254 --> 00:36:56,672 I just didn't want to die. 595 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:07,892 I remember running out, going downstairs, and running down the block. 596 00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:12,313 I didn't see anybody. I was just gone. 597 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:16,108 I ended up calling a cab driver that I knew. 598 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:19,403 When he came and picked me up, I jumped in the front seat. 599 00:37:19,528 --> 00:37:20,738 I was a mess. 600 00:37:23,157 --> 00:37:24,909 And he was in shock. 601 00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:27,870 His exact words were "What the F happened?" 602 00:37:28,871 --> 00:37:31,290 Did you get hit by a truck? A car? 603 00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:32,625 Did you have an accident?" 604 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,627 And he was checking out my wrist 605 00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:38,339 because I had bruises and welts on my wrist. 606 00:37:42,426 --> 00:37:44,720 And he took me straight to Elmhurst Hospital. 607 00:37:52,603 --> 00:37:55,273 I couldn't go in. I couldn't go in. 608 00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,857 I couldn't move. 609 00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:59,694 I was scared, not just for my life, 610 00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:02,446 I was scared for my parents finding out, 611 00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:05,283 just because, you know, I didn't want to embarrass them. 612 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:06,728 I didn't want to embarrass myself. 613 00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:11,289 And I didn't want to go to the police 614 00:38:11,372 --> 00:38:15,293 because I was in the middle of a child custody battle and a divorce, 615 00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:19,130 and I didn't want anything stopping this process. 616 00:38:19,213 --> 00:38:22,174 And he was trying to convince me to go into the hospital, 617 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:25,136 and I just wanted to go home. 618 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:38,399 And just sit in the shower for about an hour, and that's what I did. 619 00:38:38,482 --> 00:38:42,737 I'm trying to scrub, literally, like scrub your life away. 620 00:38:45,906 --> 00:38:47,825 I have stayed in bed, 621 00:38:47,908 --> 00:38:51,495 and hiding from my parents for three days in the same household, 622 00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:54,457 because I still couldn't fathom what happened. 623 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:58,544 It didn't seem... real. 624 00:38:58,669 --> 00:39:01,005 And then came the questions. "Why me?" 625 00:39:02,131 --> 00:39:03,594 You know, we were supposed to be cool. 626 00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:04,929 We were supposed to be like friends. 627 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:07,887 We were supposed to be, you know, you know me. 628 00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:11,849 Those were all the thoughts going through my head while I was hiding. 629 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:23,694 Soon after that, I got a call. 630 00:39:24,612 --> 00:39:25,821 And it was Puff. 631 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:27,615 I was terrified. 632 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:32,370 He said, "Ay. Keep your effing mouth shut." 633 00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:38,709 And then he hung up the phone. 634 00:39:42,505 --> 00:39:45,424 Puffy has ways of finding out stuff and making things happen. 635 00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:47,189 I need to get the hell away from New York. 636 00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:52,056 I ended up disappearing for a few years. 637 00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:57,353 I was a total wreck, hanging on to sanity by a thread. 638 00:39:58,687 --> 00:40:01,399 Trying to cope with being raped and assaulted, 639 00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,026 trying to raise a child, 640 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:06,278 depression, 641 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:10,074 trying to fight every day to keep yourself alive, 642 00:40:10,157 --> 00:40:12,576 because at that point there was nothing there. 643 00:40:12,701 --> 00:40:18,749 There was nothing to say, "Okay, you've got tomorrow to live for, right?" So... 644 00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:23,295 Every day. Every day was a battle. 645 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:25,798 Every day was a struggle to try to keep me 646 00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:31,429 from either killing myself or doing something stupid. 647 00:40:35,683 --> 00:40:41,439 Today, I'm still coping with and trying to get through it. 648 00:40:41,522 --> 00:40:46,444 Because in November of 2023, I was told by my ex-boyfriend 649 00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:51,115 that my assault was actually recorded on tape. 650 00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:58,038 For me, it was like, why would somebody record raping somebody, 651 00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:00,624 and then you show it to other people? 652 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:04,003 I was so angry. 653 00:41:04,128 --> 00:41:08,507 And then he said, "Do you see what's happening in the news with Cassie?" 654 00:41:08,632 --> 00:41:11,135 Sean Diddy Combs, the disgraced music mogul. 655 00:41:11,218 --> 00:41:12,636 Sean Diddy Combs. 656 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,348 Sean Diddy Combs, facing a slew of allegations, 657 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:18,184 including rape and sex trafficking. 658 00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:19,977 She opened up a can of worms with Puff. 659 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:23,147 forcing her into unwanted sexual encounters 660 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:26,525 through the use of illegal substances and threats of violence. 661 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:30,821 The acclaimed music producer vehemently denying the allegations. 662 00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:33,699 I always believed that I was the only victim. 663 00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:35,162 These are the first of what could be 664 00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:36,952 scores of lawsuits. 665 00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:40,664 I'm definitely looking at a piece of property that is owned by Sean Combs. 666 00:41:40,789 --> 00:41:43,417 It has been a staggering fall from grace.