1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,753
Attention, everyone,

2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,338
let me introduce you

3
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:09,133
to the most perfect grandbaby ever...

4
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:12,428
- Zara Howard.
- Aw!

5
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,972
Oh! Oh, they decided
to give the baby your last name.

6
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,225
Well, not legally, sweetheart.

7
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:20,937
All right, let me see
the little meatball. Hello.

8
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,397
Yeah.

9
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,024
You know, something about my physique

10
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,651
- just makes babies love me.
- Oh.

11
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:31,781
- I don't know why.
- You are just the cutest.

12
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,325
Oh.

13
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,161
Can I hold the baby, Barbara?

14
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,205
- Sure. Sure.
- Okay.

15
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,415
- She is a little fussy though. Yeah.
- I know. I hear.

16
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,292
Hey, sweetie... Aw!

17
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,671
- Oh! Well, you're not fussy with us. Hey.
- Yeah.

18
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:50,132
That's because Zara and Janine
wear the same shirt size.

19
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,426
Now give me that baby.

20
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,804
No. Oop... Oh, okay.

21
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,390
- I've always wanted to hold one of these.
- Hmm.

22
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,394
All right, now I'm bored. Think fast.

23
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,187
Okay.

24
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,524
What in the world?

25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,900
Okay.

26
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,152
Well, try Jacob.
The baby is bound to cry with him.

27
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,654
Oh, no, thank you. I'm... I'd rather...

28
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,407
- Jacob, take the baby.
- Oh.

29
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,908
Hi.

30
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,494
Hi, wittle sweetie. Aw.

31
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:22,582
Well...
at least she's settled down now.

32
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,375
- Yeah.
- Yeah, give her back.

33
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,960
- Thank you.
- There you go.

34
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:30,673
And now you've done it, Jacob.
Ooh, you've done it!

35
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,898
Mmm.

36
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,317
My man. Okay.

37
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:52,862
- Whew! Look who's in a good mood.
- Yeah.

38
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,406
Every one of my kids aced
their spelling test.

39
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:58,159
{\an8}- Hmm.
- You know, they're really in a flow state.

40
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,870
{\an8}It... It took a while to get here,
but they're locked in.

41
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,872
{\an8}Yeah. Always takes, like, half a year,

42
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,541
{\an8}but then when you get 'em there,
oh, that feels good.

43
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,127
{\an8}Right? And you still get them
after the first grade.

44
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,589
{\an8}When I get them,
they're essentially starting from zero.

45
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,716
{\an8}I beg your pardon?

46
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,261
{\an8}Your students are not starting from zero.

47
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,764
{\an8}Oh. Yeah, well, n-no.
That's not what I meant.

48
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,641
{\an8}Obviously,
you're an amazing teacher, Barb.

49
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,559
{\an8}- This I know. Uh-huh.
- Damn straight.

50
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,187
{\an8}It's just that, you know,
as far as them being "students"...

51
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,271
{\an8}Oh, boy.

52
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,440
{\an8}I'm essentially
starting from scratch.

53
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,945
{\an8}Exactly what is it you think I do all day
with my kindergartners? Babysit?

54
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:36,489
{\an8}Uh...

55
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,908
{\an8}No, um...

56
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,701
{\an8}I'm not explaining myself well.

57
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,912
{\an8}You think?

58
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,497
{\an8}- You do a lot.
- Uh-huh.

59
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,541
{\an8}But the expectations of a first grader...

60
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,128
Well, I tried to help you, man.
It was nice knowing you.

61
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,964
- I'ma just shut up.
- Good idea.

62
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,842
But what I'm saying is...

63
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,427
- Really? Really?
- Gregory.

64
00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,888
Okay, okay, okay.

65
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,640
Running late, I see.

66
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:05,267
{\an8}Yeah, well, that is because
I'm being smeared by Ms. Schwartz

67
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:08,479
{\an8}in the campaign for 51st District's school
commissioner's liaison representative.

68
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,774
{\an8}Schmeared, huh? That makes me
want a bagel. Go get me one.

69
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,067
{\an8}She's on Facebook telling folks

70
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,653
{\an8}that I don't have any people
of color in my life.

71
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,572
{\an8}Her only proof was a black-and-white
photo of my white-and-white family.

72
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:21,951
{\an8}- Sounds like it's time to hit back.
- No, on principle, I cannot do that.

73
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,369
{\an8}As principal, you should do that.

74
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,288
{\an8}No, I want people to vote for me
because of where I stand on the issues.

75
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,957
{\an8}I won't run a campaign on vitriol.

76
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,917
{\an8}All right, bring it down a notch.

77
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,001
{\an8}Voters are dumb.

78
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,879
{\an8}Most of them are just there
for the sticker.

79
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:38,300
{\an8}Well, I am doing an interview later
to lay out my plan.

80
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,094
{\an8}I'm gonna post it to the teachers' forum,

81
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,763
{\an8}and I think once people know
where I stand on the issues,

82
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,515
{\an8}they will be clamoring to vote for me.

83
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,810
Well, Ms. Schwartz just posted that you
don't believe in ADA-compliant schools.

84
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,856
{\an8}What? That...
That's all I believe in.

85
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:53,942
What's this?

86
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,903
Mr. Johnson? Trying to get
the whole school done at once?

87
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,655
This is how I work off my nerves.

88
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,823
What are you nervous about?

89
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,200
Acting like you don't know
the Genesis Ball is coming up.

90
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,869
- That's this week?
- The what?

91
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,663
It's the biggest soiree
of the custodial season, Melissa,

92
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,498
and Ms. Carroll's gonna be there.

93
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,209
This is the first time I've seen her
since our "mallmance."

94
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,961
Okay, so what's the big deal?

95
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:18,048
Well, for her, it seemed like a "Wham,
bam, thank you, Mr. Johnson" type thing.

96
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,967
This is my one chance to change that.

97
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,428
Mmm, we'll help you.

98
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,347
Okay, you gotta stop saying "we"
before checking with the other party.

99
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,183
Look, we love love.

100
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,726
- We're in love.
- Yeah.

101
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:29,894
And we know a thing or two.

102
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,479
I don't know.

103
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,190
Come on. The fashion club
can spruce up your outfit.

104
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,567
Yeah, Ms. Carroll will love it.

105
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,860
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.

106
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,987
I feel like that girl in the fairy tale
going to the ball.

107
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,908
You two are my fairy
god-ugly stepsisters.

108
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,160
So, in the sequel,

109
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,663
they do a four-way body swap
with the granddaughter and the stepsister.

110
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,916
That does sound
like a much freakier Friday.

111
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,293
Yeah, yeah, it's a little complicated,
but it works.

112
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,836
Mmm, mm-hmm.

113
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,339
Doing anything fun this weekend?

114
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:02,009
Every day is a weekend for me, Gregory,
because, as you know, I don't do anything.

115
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,053
I didn't say that. I don't think that.

116
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,222
I'm merely a glorified babysitter.

117
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,389
You said that, not me.

118
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,099
That's not what I heard.

119
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,434
Cool way to weigh in, Melissa.

120
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,977
Barb, I know you do a lot.

121
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,897
I don't think you truly understand
what I do.

122
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,608
I know what you do,
but I also know what I do.

123
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,401
- I don't think you do.
- I do.

124
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,487
Okay, listen.

125
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,823
There's only one way to settle this.

126
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,658
- We <i>Freaky Friday</i> it.
- Oh.

127
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,994
Yeah, you switch classes for a little bit.

128
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,913
Oh!

129
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,581
Good idea, Melissa.

130
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,667
Yep.

131
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,878
Gregory? You in the mood
for a little vacation?

132
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,588
If I agree, would that help?

133
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,131
- It would.
- Okay.

134
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,717
- Well, then tomorrow, high noon.
- Oh.

135
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,303
Bring your class to the library,
and we will switch.

136
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,889
- Mmm... Psych!
- Ooh!

137
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,392
But we are making that switch. Ha!

138
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:52,936
High noon.

139
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,774
Cortez, Imani, I'm excited to get
into the issues with you today.

140
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,441
District bureaucracy is...

141
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,486
You've previously been critical
of MrBeast's exploitation

142
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,905
of what you called "human suffering."

143
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:08,577
So, explain your like
on this MrBeast post from 2018.

144
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,245
What?

145
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,455
- Where did you get that?
- Ms. Schwartz posted it.

146
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,083
It was a long time ago.

147
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,086
I was a different person.
He was a different beast.

148
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,629
But you know what stays the same?

149
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,841
District bureaucracy,
making it impossible to create change.

150
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:28,095
And that's what I want to focus on today,
not... not idle gossip.

151
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,889
Look, I won't be persuaded off message,

152
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,851
but word to the wise,
never like anyone's post, ever.

153
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,563
Which would benefit
both teachers and district.

154
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:41,191
And that is just one prong
of my multi-pronged communication system.

155
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:44,361
Okay, thankfully, Mr. C,
that's all the time we have.

156
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:45,780
Time we'll never get back.

157
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,117
Well, policy isn't meant to be exciting.
It's meant to change the world.

158
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:54,789
Um... I hope you found at least
some of it compelling. Okay.

159
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,836
Well, what do you think?
Should I move my keys to the other side?

160
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:05,507
I think that if this is someone we're
trying to impress that we can do better.

161
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,301
But this is what I wore on our first date.

162
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,262
If I wear something different,
she might not recognize me.

163
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,265
You are more
than just your uniform, Mr. J.

164
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,726
Yeah. Kids...

165
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,396
Let's get to it. Mm-hmm.

166
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,358
That's janitor purple.

167
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,693
You again?

168
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,071
Look at what Ms. Schwartz did
to my podcast interview.

169
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,532
<i>And that would be one prong
of my multi-pronged communication system.</i>

170
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,409
<i>What?</i>

171
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,827
Uh...

172
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,623
<i>Hey, no one loves process more than me</i>.

173
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,377
<i>Ha-ha!</i>

174
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,254
She is manipulating everything
in order to mischaracterize me.

175
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,508
She is politicking,
and the people are really responding.

176
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,093
You are getting cooked.

177
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,345
This is good.
It rivals some of my takedowns.

178
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,721
Oh, my God.

179
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:55,474
Am I really gonna lose
to somebody totally incompetent?

180
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,851
Hmm... What does that say about you?

181
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:01,231
No, not on my watch!
Be my campaign manager.

182
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,900
Look, the debate is tomorrow,
and the vote is immediately following.

183
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,819
I need your help to take her down.

184
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,488
So you're telling me I have almost
no time to turn this thing around?

185
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,408
What do you think I am, some kind
of miracle worker? 'Cause I am.

186
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,953
Please, I wouldn't ask you
if I wasn't desperate.

187
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,248
If I help you,
you have to do exactly what I say,

188
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,376
even if it goes
against everything you believe in.

189
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,752
- Do I really have to do that?
- Yes.

190
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,922
Now say, "Trickle-down economics
helps the lower class thrive."

191
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,800
Ava, we both know
that is a lie. I mean...

192
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,136
Forget the truth
or you're never gonna win. Now say it!

193
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,972
Fine. Trickle-down economics
helps the lower class thrive.

194
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,350
Good. Now say it again.

195
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,268
{\an8}Upon extensive research,

196
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:42,063
{\an8}I've determined that this is your problem.

197
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,857
Okay, I think this was a bad idea.

198
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,317
Do you wanna be the next Beto
or the next AOC?

199
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,820
Trick question. Beto never won.

200
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,738
Oh, I see.

201
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:53,157
Yeah, the goal isn't to get people
to vote for you.

202
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,450
That ship has already sailed.

203
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,702
The goal is to get people
to vote against Ms. Schwartz.

204
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,911
Okay, but how?

205
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,079
We get nasty.

206
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,583
We spin every question, every point,
and we make it an attack on her.

207
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,795
Example, what is your stance
on standardized test prep?

208
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,463
Well, my stance is...

209
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,798
Weak, woke, wack.
Your stance is, "Lock her up."

210
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,634
Come on, man, look alive.

211
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,930
All right, students, Mr. Eddie and I
are going to conduct a little experiment

212
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,808
since it seems that
some teachers aren't valued

213
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,144
as much in the eyes of others.

214
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,228
That's not true, but...

215
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,690
And so for the rest of the week,
we are going to switch classes.

216
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:30,152
I am going to teach Mr. Eddie's class.

217
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,238
Yay!

218
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,326
And I'm going
to teach Mrs. Howard's class.

219
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,120
I love Mrs. Howard.

220
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,914
She's the best teacher ever.

221
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,042
Yeah, well,
your sample size is, like, two, so...

222
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,378
Mrs. Howard's class, follow me.
You guys can stand.

223
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,005
Please don't make me leave Mrs. Howard.

224
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,761
It's okay. It's all right.
Come on. Let's go.

225
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,472
Okay, just be still.

226
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:03,685
Nice! Colman Domingo called.
He said save some red carpet for him.

227
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,147
Ms. Carroll's gonna freak.

228
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:10,400
We'll see. I usually woo ladies
with my mop work,

229
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,195
but she's seen me clean an entire mall
and walked away.

230
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,656
Okay, so, what's our plan to win her over?

231
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,783
I've been working
on this mentalist routine.

232
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,743
It's all about subtle suggestion.

233
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,746
Pick a number. Any number.

234
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:28,293
Yeah, or we lose that,
and you just tell her how you feel.

235
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,753
Okay, I got my number.

236
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,631
I've dated wild horses like her
in the past.

237
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,508
I'm afraid if I come out
and tell her how I feel,

238
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,385
she'll be out of my life
before she's ever in it.

239
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:40,139
I understand. It can be scary, Mr. J,
but you know what?

240
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,725
The important thing is you move forward,
whether it's with her or without her.

241
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,019
Mm-hmm.

242
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,147
Melissa.

243
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,982
Was your number five?

244
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,568
- No.
- Oh, my God.

245
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,611
My number was five. How did you do that?

246
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:58,782
Subliminal messaging. You never noticed
I had a thumbs-up next to the number five.

247
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,076
Whoa. Wow.

248
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:04,830
Okay. So, what is 30 minus 20?

249
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,124
What's 30?

250
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,041
Can we have blocks?

251
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,835
No, it's not playtime.

252
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,253
But I need them to count.

253
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,630
Okay. Well, then, yeah, use the blocks.

254
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,841
Now, when we're taking 30, and then we...

255
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,593
Hey, excuse me. Ladies, excuse...

256
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,428
Hey, there's enough for everybody
to have their own set.

257
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,054
Relax, relax, relax.

258
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,098
Can we sit down, please? Thank you.

259
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:27,312
Okay, let's pivot. What were you guys
working on this week in language arts?

260
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,647
We were talking about U.

261
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,607
Me?

262
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,941
No, the letter U.

263
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,110
You were spending
a whole week on the letter U. Why?

264
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,987
We haven't gotten to Y.

265
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,573
No. W-H-Y.

266
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,450
What's W?

267
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,787
Okay. It's... It's okay.

268
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:50,959
Apathy among teachers
is at an all-time high.

269
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,503
What will you do to combat that
in this role?

270
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,214
Great question.
Here's what I'd like to combat.

271
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,382
This magnificently unqualified candidate

272
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,552
who is unprepared for the rigors
of this position.

273
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,136
Whack her again.

274
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,096
It actually seems unfair
that we would share the stage

275
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,723
since this isn't a social media post,

276
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,184
and you can't edit yourself
to look competent!

277
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,644
Now insult that outfit.

278
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,605
All while wearing that lipstick
with that dress? Shameful.

279
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,399
Ugh! I'm imagining it, and it is shameful.

280
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,776
Now for the knockout blow.

281
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,362
Bring up the fact
that she kicked a student.

282
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,656
And in case you aren't all dissuaded
from voting for her,

283
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,407
Ms. Schwartz once punted a student.

284
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,285
And the extra point is good.

285
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:28,121
Politics looks good on you, Jacob.

286
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:32,834
Okay. Look, everybody, this is nap time,
so no talking, please. Shh.

287
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,336
I'm not tired!

288
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,172
Just close your eyes.

289
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,508
My eyes don't close.

290
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,927
- Yes, they do.
- Stop yelling at me!

291
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,513
Okay.

292
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,517
Well, this was fun.
And now I feel like a terrible teacher.

293
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,562
On the bright side,
I also feel like a terrible person, so...

294
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,313
Correct.

295
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:57,068
Aw, we are really cooking now. Mmm!

296
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,821
Hello, Mrs. Howard.
I'd like to switch back now, please.

297
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,282
Mr. Eddie.

298
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,910
It seems you finally found a garden
you can't handle. Kindergarten.

299
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,121
Hmm. Yeah.

300
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,248
Uh, Mr. Johnson? It's Janine and Melissa.

301
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,958
Yeah, we finished your corsage,

302
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,628
and the kids fashioned you
this unbelievable suit jacket.

303
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,048
- Hey.
- Ta-da!

304
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,343
Thank you both.

305
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,637
Unfortunately, I won't be needing
any of this.

306
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,722
What? What are you talking about?

307
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,849
There was an accident.

308
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,561
Semitruck full of glitter bombs crashed
into a Carpet and Tile Depot.

309
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,021
My God.

310
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:39,693
And they need all hands on mopping.
So Genesis Ball is canceled.

311
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:42,404
- I'm so sorry.
- Okay, surely that couldn't have happened.

312
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:46,409
Well, it did, Janine. It's over.
That's the universe telling me to drop it.

313
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,162
Love is not in the cards
for everybody, ladies.

314
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,208
And when she twists your words,
you bring up kickgate.

315
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:56,293
Don't pull any punches.

316
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,502
- Twist, kick, punch.
- Yeah.

317
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,881
- Oh, my God, Gregory, you came.
- Hey, hey, hey, focus.

318
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,424
You came to support Jacob?

319
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:06,303
Of course. Didn't hurt that
my nail salon is right across the street.

320
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:09,264
Well, well, well,
look who decided to show up.

321
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,308
May the best Schwartz win. Huh?

322
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,642
Or Hill.

323
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,228
Your last name is a mound of dirt.

324
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,068
Let's start with 60-second
opening statement, shall we?

325
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:25,113
Before I get into the nuts and screws,

326
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,201
I want to share with you
why I wanted to run.

327
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:32,329
And, uh, well, it starts with the story
of my deepest shame.

328
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:37,793
You see, I poured everything I had
into my first job as a teacher,

329
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:42,089
and I pushed too hard
because I cared too much, you know.

330
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:47,385
And, uh, well, at my lowest,
I, uh, I kicked a kid.

331
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,305
It was wrong, but more than that,

332
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:54,810
it was human and a testament
to the struggles

333
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,854
we teachers face every single day.

334
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,691
I mean, who here hasn't been pushed
to the brink?

335
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:06,155
You know, forgiving myself wasn't enough,
so I brought someone with me here today.

336
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,157
Rajon, come on out, friend.

337
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:13,663
No limp?

338
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,251
He is so much more
than a kid who got kicked,

339
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,379
and I'm so much more than the kicker.

340
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,179
Sorry for the brief recess.

341
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,558
Our cat got out,
and my husband is blaming me again.

342
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:38,687
Anyway, how would each of you improve
working conditions and school morale?

343
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:39,939
Mr. Hill, you first.

344
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,525
Well, I think we can all agree
that morale would improve in any school

345
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,527
if there were no kicking of children.

346
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:48,321
Why do you keep bringing it up, man?
It's triggering.

347
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,990
Because he wants to live in the past

348
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,742
while I'm worried
about our students' future.

349
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,246
So much so I wrote a poem.

350
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:01,042
- "I stay up late wondering..."
- Jacob isn't very good at this.

351
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,460
Yeah, this is rough.

352
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,379
Looks like he and I both
taking L's this week.

353
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,964
"Are we all
in trouble? Are we..."

354
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,133
Are you still upset
about what happened earlier?

355
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,718
"Then I awake, my heart..."

356
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,803
Honestly, after seeing everything
that you do,

357
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,930
I feel like I don't do enough
when I get them.

358
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,017
Gregory, every grades' needs
are different.

359
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,727
Besides, I've seen you teach.

360
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:23,399
Trust me, the students are learning
just as much from you as they did from me.

361
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,609
It's not a competition.

362
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,028
It's a collaboration.

363
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,614
- Firstly, I think we all agree...
- I like that.

364
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,449
That school days
are way too long.

365
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,492
Although I am at the beginning,

366
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:39,497
which makes me the foundation and
therefore the most important.

367
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,626
Mr. Johnson, you gotta come quick.
There's an emergency.

368
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,711
Oh, no, a second glitter truck
hit the depot?

369
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,088
No, someone threw up in the gym,

370
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,591
and then someone else saw it,
and then they threw up.

371
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,259
It's best to let it dry overnight.

372
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,304
No, we can't 'cause...
Man, just come to the gym.

373
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,809
I'm telling you, if you let it dry,
you can shovel it the next day.

374
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,232
Well, I'll be.

375
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,318
You aren't vomit at all.

376
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:08,944
But how?

377
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,070
Your friends called me.

378
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,324
- Well, I called.
- And you used my phone.

379
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,498
I know you clean up well.

380
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,084
But you also clean up well.

381
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,752
I was worried you wouldn't recognize me.

382
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,672
- I do.
- Hmm.

383
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,011
I mean, she's wearing that lipstick
with that dress?

384
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,680
Shameful.

385
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,474
One more outburst like that,
and I will be forced to ask you to stop.

386
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,518
It's fine.
He's worried about my dress,

387
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,230
and I'm worried about
fixing the budget crisis.

388
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,524
Okay. Yeah, I'm not sure how,
because that's not what the role is.

389
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,734
We can only convey
our budgetary needs.

390
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,571
We have no idea what the total amount
is gonna be from the district.

391
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,865
My God. "We can only
convey our budgetary needs"...

392
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,576
Do you even know what this position does?

393
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,791
Can we move on?
Geez, this guy is insufferable.

394
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:09,797
You know what?
Maybe you're right. I am insufferable.

395
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,842
I may not have the skills to edit TikToks
to manipulate interviews.

396
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:14,926
And photos.

397
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,096
But at the very least, I know who
to contact if your school needs supplies

398
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,224
or wants to fund a trip
or even needs a counselor.

399
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,642
I mean, tell me, Ms. Schwartz,

400
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:26,354
do you have a plan in place to gather
the needs of the 51st school district?

401
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,150
Do I?

402
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:33,820
Sure. Look, I may be agonizing, annoying...

403
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,071
Ooh! Grating.

404
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,531
And I may not know when to stop talking,

405
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,867
but isn't that who you want
fighting for you?

406
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,871
I am insufferable, but I will always
suffer so that you don't have to.

407
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:43,956
Yes.

408
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,209
I told him to say that.

409
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:52,256
No matter what happens,
I'm glad I did it on my own terms.

410
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,716
That's a Jacob Hill I'll die on.

411
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,510
Ah, why didn't I say that?

412
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,889
All right, let's see
a show of hands for Jacob Hill.

413
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,644
Nine votes for Jacob Hill.
All in favor of Tina Schwartz?

414
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,815
And eight votes for Tina Schwartz.

415
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,192
That officially makes Jacob Hill

416
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,528
the 51st District Board of School
Commissioners liaison representative.

417
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,821
Thank God we came.

418
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,114
Hey, man, come on, let's go.

419
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,783
- And, uh, let's go.
- Come on, Barbara, let's go.

420
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,160
Yeah, let's go.

421
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,120
I know I went off script there
a bit, but...

422
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:27,957
Jacob, you don't have to say it.
You're welcome.

423
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,584
What? No, I-I did the opposite.

424
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,920
It's what I do.

425
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:38,843
Just want to say good luck
doing whatever it is this job does.

426
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,512
Well, I really appreciate that,

427
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,514
and I'm sorry for the things
I said earlier.

428
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,393
I hope we can put
our differences aside now.

429
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,311
So glad to hear you say that.

430
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,940
So I can count on your endorsement
when I run for school board.

431
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,025
Run...

432
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,612
Oh, God, what have I done?

433
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:07,415
After the mall, I never thought
I'd see your beautiful face again.

434
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:11,209
But we agreed
we didn't want it to get messy.

435
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,963
One thing we know in our line of work,
that life is messy.

436
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:19,634
What's important is cleaning it up
for the ones you care about.

437
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,266
Aw! It's so sweet.

438
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:30,311
What's happening?
I can't see. Tell me everything.

439
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,355
We did good here today, kid.

440
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,983
Hey, would you mind switching?
'Cause I can't feel my arm.

441
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,152
No, keep twirling.
The feeling will come back.

442
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,236
Okay.

443
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,581
Jacob won by one vote.

444
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,081
Whoa.

445
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,958
Okay, please don't tell him
I wasn't there.

446
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,209
Please tell him I wasn't there.

447
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,294
Y'all ready to go?

448
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,378
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

449
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,630
I have
a big vocab test to prep for.

450
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:00,675
You know, it's funny.
My second graders have come so far.

451
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,302
{\an8}They basically come to me as nothing.

452
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,888
{\an8}Their little minds just completely
and totally empty,

453
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,056
{\an8}like a blank page in a blank book.

454
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,516
{\an8}Where do you think you're going?

455
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,268
{\an8}Uh, home?

456
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,105
{\an8}Are you crazy? I know you don't think
we're cleaning this place up.

457
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:17,985
{\an8}Also, the hallways could use a once over.
I had a rough day earlier.

458
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,403
{\an8}Come on, baby.

459
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,489
{\an8}Bye, y'all.
