1
00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:08,510
Meet the gang, cause the boys are here,
the boys to entertain you.

2
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:14,150
With music and laughter to help you on
your way, to raising the rafters with a

3
00:00:14,150 --> 00:00:15,150
hey, hey, hey.

4
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:21,230
With songs and sketches and jokes on
anew, with us about, you must feel blue.

5
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:26,130
meet the gang, cause the boys are here,
the boys to entertain you.

6
00:00:26,870 --> 00:00:31,970
B -O -Y -S, boys to entertain you.

7
00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:42,710
The gang cause the boys are here.

8
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:46,730
Boys to entertain you.

9
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:55,010
With the music and laughter. You're
looking very glum today. What's the

10
00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:55,889
with you, Ranji?

11
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:59,030
Oh, everything has gone wrong this
morning.

12
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:02,710
It is what we British say, being one of
those days.

13
00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:06,150
Top of that.

14
00:01:06,759 --> 00:01:08,720
Dobiwala was late with clean clothes.

15
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,680
I said to him, Dobiwala, you're a damn
fool.

16
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,580
Because I am a very important man.

17
00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:17,580
I am Bharat, the royal artillery council
party.

18
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,020
How can I go to work on dirty dhoti?

19
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:25,340
What do you think I am, some damn native
or something?

20
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:30,500
Out of that, look how he sends my dhoti
back.

21
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,760
It is grey.

22
00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:37,580
Man in my position should go to work on
sparkling white dhoti. Yeah?

23
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:42,620
I say to him, Dhobiwala, why are you not
keeping up with times?

24
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,760
Why are you bashing washing against
rock?

25
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,980
Why are you not using soap powder?

26
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,620
And what did the Dhobiwala say? He say
you have not enough soap powder to fill

27
00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:54,620
up river.

28
00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:01,240
Oh, my God, look at the time. I have
important chitti to deliver to Colonel's

29
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,860
house. Oh, here we go.

30
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,400
I hope Sergeant Major Stubb is in good
mood.

31
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,320
Wait outside, shall we? Good night!

32
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,100
Is Sergeant Major Stubb in a good mood?

33
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,900
I had not time to find out.

34
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:20,020
Do you really think we should send the
concert party on a jungle survival

35
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:21,580
course, Sergeant Major? Oh, yes, sir.

36
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,940
I mean, it's not fair to them boys.
They're not fit.

37
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,780
I mean, if they were supposed to hit up
the jungle, I shudder to think what

38
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,760
would happen to them. Yes, you've got a
point there, Sergeant Major.

39
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,400
But what about the show, sir?

40
00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:31,980
They're putting in a new song.

41
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,940
Gunner Beaumont is doing South American
Joe, dressed up as Carmen Miranda.

42
00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,120
South American Jerry? What do you think
of that, Sergeant Major?

43
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,980
I don't trust them daigles, sir.

44
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,120
Won't hurt to cancel the show for a few
days, I suppose.

45
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,440
All right, Sergeant Major, later on,
will you?

46
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:50,540
Thank you very much, sir.

47
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,420
Oh, and take Gunner Parkins along with
you.

48
00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:59,310
He's looking very pale, being in the
office all day.

49
00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:03,570
He's got a lot of work to do, sir.
Excuse me, sir.

50
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:06,090
I'd like to go on a jungle survival
course.

51
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:07,650
I've never been in the jungle.

52
00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:10,730
Will you really, boy?

53
00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:14,050
Yes, Sergeant Major, ever so much.

54
00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,690
That's what I like to see, sir.
Keenness, sir. Yes, he's very keen.

55
00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:21,870
We'd come along as well, but we're
rather busy at the moment. See if you

56
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:22,870
out of that, will you?

57
00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:28,650
Well, I got some work to do, sir. Gunner
Parkins, get your hat on, come with me.

58
00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:30,030
Yes, sir.

59
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,870
Parkins? Sir?

60
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:39,749
Shoulders back, boy.

61
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:41,230
Fine pair of shoulders you got there,
sure.

62
00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:46,290
MC is like him and the backbone of the
British Army.

63
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:49,650
And he looks after that young Gunner
Parkins just like a father.

64
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:51,890
Come in.

65
00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:57,110
Well, I'm Captain Tubbs. I have one duty
for Colonel Tubbs.

66
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,470
Well, who's he from, Baron?

67
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,550
Major Waddy Love Evans, Colonel Tubbs.

68
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:03,150
Who on earth's Major Waddy Love Evans?

69
00:04:03,570 --> 00:04:07,330
Oh, nobody very much. Just the husband
of the lady who happened to be on leave

70
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,890
in the hills at the same time as I was.

71
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,350
Oh.

72
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:11,950
It's not a good show.

73
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:13,110
Yes, it was.

74
00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:17,110
He came to see you this morning, Tom.

75
00:04:17,510 --> 00:04:19,630
Very red in face and kicking ground.

76
00:04:20,350 --> 00:04:24,340
And when he found you were not here,
Sub, He left me in this city and he went

77
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:25,880
away still kicking ground.

78
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,220
And he was very dusty, sir.

79
00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,800
Sir, what have you done in the
mountains? He has done the same thing

80
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,360
called having it all.

81
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,020
Idiot! Get out of here!

82
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:45,640
I have punished

83
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,400
him for being cheeky, sir.

84
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:53,180
He says he'll be here to see me the day
after tomorrow.

85
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,120
Is anything the matter, sir?

86
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,980
No, no, no, no, no. He just wants me to
explain one or two things.

87
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:02,820
Where is this place that Sergeant
Major's taking the concert party?

88
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,060
It's, uh... It's here, sir.

89
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,820
About 60 miles away.

90
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:12,260
Yes, well, I think we ought to go along
as well, you know. I mean, we're getting

91
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,860
very soft. A few days in the jungle
would do us good.

92
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,500
I'll lay it on, will you, Ashwin?

93
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,530
I have a horrid feeling that we're being
watched.

94
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:41,150
Don't be stupid. Who's watching us?

95
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:43,870
Spot

96
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:53,050
more

97
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:54,410
angst, George? Yes, thank you.

98
00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:57,370
Sorry it wasn't in the eyes.

99
00:05:57,970 --> 00:06:00,230
Can't be helped. Won't hurt us to rough
it once in a while.

100
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:02,830
Perhaps you've got off all right?

101
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,630
Yes, yes. It couldn't be in better
hands.

102
00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:08,450
The Sergeant Major did two years in
Burma. He knows all there is to know

103
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,450
jungle survival.

104
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,810
I realise he's jolly brave, all that.

105
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:13,730
He's not awfully good at math reading.

106
00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:15,410
He'll be all right.

107
00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:18,110
Why did we bring all this kit, Tom?

108
00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:22,650
Well, no point dragging our feet around
the jungle, getting them wet. So I made

109
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:25,650
arrangements to spend a few days with
the District Commissioner, Hope

110
00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:29,290
He's got a bungalow a couple of miles
away.

111
00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:31,990
He's a bit of an old stickler, but I
think you'll like him.

112
00:06:37,710 --> 00:06:38,710
It's all right, sir.

113
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,590
Right then, lovely boys.

114
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:48,130
Now, during the next three days, I am
going to teach you how to survive in a

115
00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:52,470
jungle. Of course, sir, Bombardier
Solomons, Gunners Bowman and Evans have

116
00:06:52,470 --> 00:06:53,690
already served in a jungle.

117
00:06:53,950 --> 00:06:57,190
We've only got to have a sack of rations
and one bottle of water each. It's not

118
00:06:57,190 --> 00:06:58,450
going to last very long, is it? No.

119
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,310
We are going to live off the land.

120
00:07:02,410 --> 00:07:05,590
I'm going to show you how to get food
and water out of the jungle.

121
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,120
It won't be very nice, but you will
survive.

122
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,160
All right?

123
00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:13,980
You're on your own now, lovely boys.

124
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,880
There's no charwarrers with tea and
cakes around here.

125
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,280
Charlie?

126
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:26,180
Shut up.

127
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,260
Stop rattling that damn charwarrer. I
don't know if I will hear it.

128
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:40,310
All out for a smoke.

129
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:42,030
Can I park in?

130
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:43,530
Sir?

131
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:45,270
You come with me.

132
00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,410
I'm going to find out how deep that
river is.

133
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:49,910
Sir?

134
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,050
Here.

135
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:52,550
What are we going to do, Solly?

136
00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:56,790
I mean, I can't put up with three days
of this, you know. Don't you worry,

137
00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:57,869
sunshine.

138
00:07:57,870 --> 00:08:01,190
I've got a nice little surprise laid in
for our friend Sergeant Major. Shut up.

139
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:07,290
Everything is ready.

140
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:08,550
Good, good.

141
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,290
Wait till he gets in the middle of the
river.

142
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:11,630
He gets up!

143
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:16,390
Right, lovely boys.

144
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:20,670
Now you're going to get your first taste
of crossing a jungle river.

145
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,150
In a moment, you first.

146
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,830
What about the crocodiles?

147
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:30,990
Don't talk rubbish.

148
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:32,669
There's no crocodiles about here.

149
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:34,150
Follow me.

150
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,450
Here it is, here it is.

151
00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:40,590
Come on, quickly, unwrap it.

152
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:48,170
Oh, what clever fellow Solomon Sahib is.
It is done in lifelike, isn't it?

153
00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:49,850
This is a masterpiece.

154
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:51,250
Come on, get in.

155
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,180
If there were real crocodile in water,
would Solomon Saab would go to trouble

156
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:11,139
making dummy one?

157
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,560
Come on, get in, quickly.

158
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:13,880
Gildy, it comes out.

159
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:27,520
Well, Major, how do you know

160
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,480
there aren't any crocodiles in the
river?

161
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:33,340
How do you know there are... I know.

162
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,380
Just a lighty -dark gun of grain,
because I cross more jungle rivers than

163
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:38,380
had hot dinners.

164
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,880
Who's going first?

165
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,680
I don't mind volunteering to go across
first, Sergeant Major.

166
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,180
You hear that?

167
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:46,860
He's the only one with any guts amongst
you.

168
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,340
Stay where you are, lovely boy.

169
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,400
I'll go across first.

170
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:55,080
Show you weak -kneed Nazi boys what it's
like to be a real soldier.

171
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,320
Sergeant Major's having the river.

172
00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:00,340
Oh, what a poor piece.

173
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:02,500
Solomon's officer's juking for you.

174
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,210
Come on, give it one big push.

175
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:05,890
Come on.

176
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:52,560
in the water.

177
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:53,660
Go on!

178
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,200
I see how you like going away for
starters.

179
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,940
Sully? What?

180
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,980
How many dummy crocodiles did you make?

181
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,280
Only one. Why?

182
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,580
There's another one.

183
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,680
I've just saved your life.

184
00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:17,270
What do you want to say for yourself?

185
00:13:17,290 --> 00:13:18,290
Get stuffed.

186
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,690
He's very witty, isn't he?

187
00:13:21,370 --> 00:13:23,070
You wait. You wait.

188
00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:28,190
You wait till I speak to the Maharashtra
about this. You will be in a garam

189
00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:30,770
pani. Really damn hot water, you know.

190
00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:32,450
Boiling damn hot water.

191
00:13:33,470 --> 00:13:35,130
You are an imperialist picture.

192
00:14:23,370 --> 00:14:24,370
on top.

193
00:14:31,430 --> 00:14:33,310
We'll see you last out.

194
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:34,670
Got a moment?

195
00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:39,310
You return to be trailblazer.

196
00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:41,470
Start hacking.

197
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,820
Tee is up, sir. Oh, lovely, Randy.

198
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,060
One lump or two?

199
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,120
Two, please.

200
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:03,940
Hot!

201
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,640
Not Alice. Tee's up. Oh, thank goodness
for that. I could murder a cop.

202
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:10,679
No, sir.

203
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:11,379
Tee's up.

204
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:12,380
Oh, dear.

205
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:31,130
You've been going for three hours and
you're on your last legs.

206
00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,450
I'm not.

207
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,530
I'm fighting fit.

208
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:38,710
I haven't even touched my water bottle.

209
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:42,330
I expect you've all drained you as dry.

210
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,810
No, I haven't touched mine, Sergeant
Major.

211
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:46,450
Nor me. Nor me.

212
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:49,370
I don't believe it.

213
00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:51,830
Show me your water bottles.

214
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:00,920
Well done, boys.

215
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:07,220
Now, I'm going to show you your first
lesson on how to get water.

216
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:27,280
Now, you mix a nick in it like this.

217
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:37,170
It don't taste very nice, mind, but
it'll keep you going.

218
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:49,030
Oh, I spent with you a week, Somerset.

219
00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:50,530
It'll make you sick.

220
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:52,890
Not me.

221
00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:57,430
I wish I had a pound for every drop of
wine.

222
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:10,400
This is a ridiculous waste of time.

223
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:11,880
We shouldn't be here.

224
00:17:12,339 --> 00:17:14,160
We should be doing the second half of
the show by now.

225
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,460
Carry on like this, we're going to lose
our audience.

226
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,780
I feel sorry for the sergeant major.

227
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,420
After all, he's only trying to do his
job, make soldiers out of us all.

228
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,839
Well, I can't understand this. Why is he
always so nice to you?

229
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,700
I mean, what's so special about your
shoulders?

230
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,520
Well, I don't know. He just is, that's
all.

231
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,560
Yeah, well, if I hadn't seen him down at
the bazaar with that bent of his, I'd

232
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,560
have my doubt.

233
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:44,930
Oh, oh, it's a snake. It's a snake.

234
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:47,590
Calm down, calm down. It's only a
roundy. How's it going?

235
00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:50,610
Dinner will be served in five minutes,
sir. Lovely.

236
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:56,350
Well, he won't believe this, Randy, but
he is digging up roots for our supper.

237
00:17:57,590 --> 00:18:00,890
Fellas, fellas, when I give the signal,
we slip away two by two, all right?

238
00:18:01,570 --> 00:18:02,570
Look out, here he comes.

239
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,010
Tell him when it's ready, Randy.

240
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,170
Dig it up.

241
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,250
All right, lovely boys.

242
00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:12,650
I've got you a supper.

243
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:14,750
Tug in.

244
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,190
Do you want any root?

245
00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:21,530
Don't feel our roots tonight.

246
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,230
All right, tomorrow night, you'll eat
anything.

247
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,300
Sergeant Major, I just want to... What?

248
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,560
You know.

249
00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:58,140
All right.

250
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,940
Gunner Bowman, you go with him. Sergeant
Major.

251
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,820
It is not safe for anybody to be alone
in a jungle at night.

252
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:08,620
So that I know you're all right, keep
shouting, Oswell!

253
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:11,800
Every 30 seconds.

254
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,200
Oswell. And I will reply.

255
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:16,920
Oswell. Got it.

256
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,000
Put your mosquito nets on.

257
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:32,050
Having dinner, you must punk up, but not
too hard, because I want sobs kept cool

258
00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,190
and dinner warm.

259
00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:36,350
Come on, Randy, I'm starving.

260
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,970
Oh, rabies, eat it up. Oh, lovely.

261
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:48,090
Shut up, old well, Gloria. We don't want
old shouts to get worried.

262
00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:03,889
tomato sauce.

263
00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:08,590
Oh, very sorry, sir. I forgot to pack
it. Oh, come on, Randy. You know I can't

264
00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:09,790
eat egg and chips without tomato sauce.

265
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,410
You all right there, Solomon?

266
00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:14,350
Oh, whoa!

267
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,250
All's well!

268
00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:21,770
Hey, man, what's for pudding?

269
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:24,390
Tinned peaches and milk, sir.

270
00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:26,190
Haven't you got any cream?

271
00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:32,460
Oh, I'm very sorry, sir. But excuse me,
sir, if any of you gentlemen want... any

272
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:37,560
entertainment after dinner, path to main
road leads that way, and you can take

273
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,560
bus to cinema.

274
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,319
Very good.

275
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,340
It is jolly good film.

276
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,420
I don't think I want to get the pictures
tonight, do you, Gloria?

277
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,200
No, I don't think so. No, I think we'll
give it a miss tonight.

278
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:49,420
What's up, Pop?

279
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,760
Now you're really getting a taste of
hardship.

280
00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:01,520
Right in the middle of the jungle, miles
from anywhere, you're hungry and... You

281
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,420
thirsty? And you know what it's like to
be real soldiers.

282
00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:08,020
Hey, why have you two been so long?

283
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,360
We caught on the way back, Major.

284
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:14,440
See how right I was to make you keep
shouting out? Oh, yes.

285
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,040
Excuse me, Sergeant Major. Who's that?

286
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,680
It's me, Gunnar McIntosh. Can I be
excused, please?

287
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:22,380
Can I go with him?

288
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:23,620
Who's that?

289
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:24,840
Sergeant Sugden.

290
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,180
Hey, all right. Keep shouting out. Yes,
Sergeant Major. We'll keep shouting out.

291
00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,210
You two better have some roots.

292
00:21:32,450 --> 00:21:34,150
Oh, no, I couldn't eat another thing.

293
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:36,170
What?

294
00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:38,650
It means we couldn't eat anything.

295
00:21:38,870 --> 00:21:44,130
Anything. What's it like to be real
hungry, eh?

296
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:46,110
Oh, quite awful.

297
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,590
I'd better you give anything for a plate
of egg and chips, eh?

298
00:22:13,610 --> 00:22:15,170
You're thinking of food, Sergeant Major.

299
00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:18,790
Oh, I don't have to ask whose voice that
is.

300
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:24,070
Well, Mr. La -di -da Gunner Graham, if
you think... That's funny.

301
00:22:25,190 --> 00:22:27,250
I could have sworn I could smell egg
banjos, eh?

302
00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:32,110
That's nothing out of the ordinary,
Sergeant Major. It's quite common when

303
00:22:32,110 --> 00:22:37,210
you're hungry to start thinking about
food. It's a species of hallucination.

304
00:22:38,450 --> 00:22:41,270
A species of hallucination?

305
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:48,540
Let me tell you, Mr. La -di -da Gunner
Graham, I am hungry, right? But you know

306
00:22:48,540 --> 00:22:50,420
what? I am enjoying it. I am loving it.

307
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,800
I know it. He's a masochist.

308
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,960
Yes, I am enjoying it because I know
you're hungry.

309
00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:03,140
I am used to it because I am a soldier
and you are not because you are a bunch

310
00:23:03,140 --> 00:23:04,140
of poofs.

311
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:10,480
I tell you this, however arduous we're
going to face, however hungry we get,

312
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,720
even if we're starving, I will come out
on top.

313
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:15,140
You know why?

314
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,300
Because I am a man.

315
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:20,500
He's your friend.

316
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:59,950
like a million dollar trooper trying

317
00:23:59,950 --> 00:24:04,790
hard to look like gary cooper come

318
00:24:04,790 --> 00:24:08,750
let me

319
00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:14,530
Or umbrella in their midst.

320
00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:17,910
Put in under it.

321
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:24,170
Oh, blimey. Look at him.

322
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,410
I don't think I can stand much more of
this.

323
00:24:29,470 --> 00:24:30,470
Here, Sergeant Major.

324
00:24:30,750 --> 00:24:31,770
Have a drink of this.

325
00:24:37,410 --> 00:24:39,570
How come you've got some water left?

326
00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:43,920
If you can stand being thirsty, so can
I.

327
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:46,960
Excuse me, Sergeant Major.

328
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,260
You're not reading that map properly.

329
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:53,800
You've got it the wrong way up.

330
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,080
Are you telling me, a trained soldier,
how to read a map?

331
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,480
No, no, no. I was only trying to help.

332
00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:03,660
I mean, if we're lost... Lost?

333
00:25:04,940 --> 00:25:05,940
Who said we're lost?

334
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:08,400
I was reading maps before he was born.

335
00:25:11,850 --> 00:25:12,850
Never lost a patrol yet.

336
00:25:14,450 --> 00:25:15,450
Don't worry, boys.

337
00:25:16,490 --> 00:25:17,810
I'll get you out of this jungle.

338
00:25:18,870 --> 00:25:21,930
Trust me, I won't let you down.

339
00:25:22,670 --> 00:25:23,990
Are you sure you won't have a drink?

340
00:25:32,790 --> 00:25:37,690
Well, as I was saying, I'm most awfully
bucked you two chaps could join me here

341
00:25:37,690 --> 00:25:39,590
for a few days. It's very good of you to
have us.

342
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,320
I'm so glad you were able to bring your
black ties with you.

343
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,480
Must keep up the standard, you know.

344
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,960
Every night I dress for dinner.

345
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,560
All alone in the jungle, all by myself.
Dress for dinner, alone, night, every

346
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:52,760
night. Dress, dress, dress.

347
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,160
They like it, you know.

348
00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:58,040
It's the cold, you know, the cold.

349
00:25:58,340 --> 00:26:00,140
Well, what brings you all to this neck
of the woods?

350
00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:02,220
Our chaps are on a jungle survival.

351
00:26:02,420 --> 00:26:03,319
Oh, jolly good.

352
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:04,319
Jolly good.

353
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,260
Did you see any sign of them when you
went out today?

354
00:26:06,580 --> 00:26:07,580
No, sir, nothing.

355
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,240
I told you I was worried about the
sergeant major's map reading.

356
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,860
If you ask me, they've been going round
in circles.

357
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,120
Well, never mind.

358
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,320
If they don't turn up tomorrow, I'll
lend you one of my trackers.

359
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,120
The damn good boar hunter.

360
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,060
Keep a flag flying over this empire.

361
00:26:58,580 --> 00:27:01,680
No officers, and all the rest of them
lardy -dark poncers.

362
00:27:03,380 --> 00:27:04,640
I'll get you out of this, boys.

363
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,080
Come on.

364
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:07,760
We'll carry on till we drop.

365
00:27:07,980 --> 00:27:08,980
Yes, sir.

366
00:27:12,060 --> 00:27:16,860
My hair had this long puff, you see, and
I'd only just struck the border... Oh,

367
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,900
heavens! It's a scarecrow.

368
00:27:22,540 --> 00:27:24,080
Where have you been, Sergeant Major?

369
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:25,480
You look in a terrible state.

370
00:27:28,910 --> 00:27:29,930
I don't believe it.

371
00:27:30,370 --> 00:27:32,530
They're a damn funny -looking lot. Who
are they?

372
00:27:32,930 --> 00:27:34,470
My concert party, sir.

373
00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:36,430
Concert party? Concert party?

374
00:27:36,810 --> 00:27:38,990
What the devil have they been doing
rushing about the jungle?

375
00:27:39,310 --> 00:27:41,250
That's damn vital work. Vital work.

376
00:27:41,710 --> 00:27:45,090
When I look at you while you're here,
how about giving us a bit of a show?

377
00:27:47,570 --> 00:27:49,310
Carry on.

378
00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:50,730
First off finale, sir.

379
00:27:51,010 --> 00:27:52,270
Great. First off finale.

380
00:27:53,090 --> 00:27:54,770
On four.

381
00:27:55,270 --> 00:27:56,810
One, two, three, four.

382
00:27:57,290 --> 00:28:04,130
Happy days are here again. The skies
above are clear again. Let us sing a

383
00:28:04,130 --> 00:28:06,550
of joy. He wanted to make soldiers out
of money.

384
00:28:07,030 --> 00:28:08,630
Just to make them into soldiers.

385
00:28:09,970 --> 00:28:11,090
Sergeant Major Tharp.

386
00:28:12,850 --> 00:28:15,730
Vera, what are you doing here?

387
00:28:15,930 --> 00:28:19,090
Do not worry, Sergeant Major Tharp. You
are a great man.

388
00:28:19,710 --> 00:28:25,550
Men like you and me, this glorious
empire will last for thousands of years,

389
00:28:25,610 --> 00:28:29,930
Tharp. If we keep it sticking up, Union
Jack will never fall down.

390
00:28:31,550 --> 00:28:36,530
Do not give in, Sergeant Major Saab.
Here, partake of one nice cup of cha.

391
00:28:37,910 --> 00:28:43,910
Sergeant Major Saab, I have managed to
save you one egg banjo that Concert

392
00:28:43,910 --> 00:28:44,910
did not eat.

393
00:29:11,030 --> 00:29:14,310
The boys are here.

394
00:29:32,220 --> 00:29:39,060
Boy to entertain you B -O B -O -Y -S Boy
to entertain

395
00:29:39,060 --> 00:29:40,060
you