1
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:15,360
India, the brightest jewel in Great
Britain's crown of empire.

2
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:21,320
For 200 years, many famous heroes fought
to keep the Union Jack flying over this

3
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:22,320
vast continent.

4
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:26,000
1757, Clive of India.

5
00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:31,400
1826, Colonel William Sleeman, who
suppressed the Thugs.

6
00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:36,940
1857, General Havelock, hero of Lucknow.

7
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:38,820
1945.

8
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:44,480
This great tradition of empire is
defended by a new generation of heroes.

9
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:14,720
B -O -B -O -Y -S, boys to entertain you.

10
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:25,620
Oh, meet the gang, cause the boys are
here.

11
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,620
The boys to entertain you.

12
00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:37,560
With the music and laughter to help you
on your way to

13
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,140
raising the raft.

14
00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:46,220
All right, fellas, all right. Let's try
it again.

15
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,960
And this time, get it right.

16
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,640
Remember, this is supposed to be a
sophisticated number.

17
00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,640
You're all smart New York men about
town.

18
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,840
How can I be sophisticated in this heat?

19
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,660
I'm sweating like a pig.

20
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,340
Just do what I do.

21
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:08,009
Imagine you're sweating champagne and
diamonds.

22
00:02:09,509 --> 00:02:10,509
All right, Gloria.

23
00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:13,070
Look, kids, look, kids.

24
00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:15,890
When he gets to the line, I'm putting
him his shirt studs.

25
00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:19,310
Some of you are putting them in from the
top and some from the bottom, and you

26
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,670
look as if you're doing that with your
flies.

27
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,570
You must all do it from the same place,
here.

28
00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:26,910
Yes, from your navels.

29
00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:28,610
Thank you.

30
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:29,830
Solly is talking.

31
00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:32,650
Right, we'll try it from there.

32
00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:35,870
Ready? A one, a two, a one, two, three,
four.

33
00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:38,650
I'm putting in my shirt.

34
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:41,790
Do it, do it. Hold it, hold it, hold it,
kid.

35
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:45,630
We won't have to actually put the thuds
in, will we?

36
00:02:46,850 --> 00:02:48,150
No, of course not.

37
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:50,270
Oh, really, you great big sweaty bush
idiot?

38
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,930
Well, I warned you once before, next
time.

39
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:55,970
Knock it off. He nearly did.

40
00:02:58,050 --> 00:03:01,010
We're going to do a show tonight.

41
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:02,950
Right.

42
00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:05,190
Now, from the top. Are you ready?

43
00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:07,990
Now,

44
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:12,210
from the top. A one, a two, a one, two,
three, four.

45
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:34,710
atmosphere, that's certainly... And
Ginger Rogers!

46
00:03:35,150 --> 00:03:36,150
That's a statue!

47
00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:38,410
It's typical every time you get in my
line!

48
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:44,610
Randy, any news? Oh, Tom, Graham, Tom,
he's still on Janker and not free to

49
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:46,190
piano for your excellent rehearsal.

50
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:47,810
Oh, yes. Great.

51
00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:52,330
Am I supposed to rehearse a professional
show without Petter Ruskin at the

52
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,330
piano?

53
00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:54,790
Do you see the Sergeant Major?

54
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:58,710
Yes, but he is not listening to me. All
time saying, shut up!

55
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:03,000
And... He's making Graham's hub whiten
his stones.

56
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:07,000
Oh, isn't it marvellous? Am I trying to
do my Ginger Rogers and the pianist is

57
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000
whitening stones?

58
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,540
That Sergeant Major shallot goes too
far.

59
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,880
And the way he carries on, anyone think
we were soldiers or something?

60
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,700
Look, if we are going to open tonight,
we've got to get a jowdy on. And when in

61
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,100
doubt, fellas, go to the top men.

62
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,340
I'm going to send a note to the Colonel.
That's solid.

63
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,140
Oh, Sergeant Major should have lovely
old good forgotten.

64
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:29,180
Oh, no, he won't, sunshine, because
we're the Colonel's blue -eyed boys,

65
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,820
remember? Now, Randy, I'm giving you a
chitty to take to the Colonel's side.

66
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,260
Tea, Kai? Here, get that. Right.

67
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,520
Paper, someone.

68
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,040
Here, Snowy, I've got some tea. All
right, quick, quick, quick.

69
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,280
Pencil, pencil!

70
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:41,460
Right.

71
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:48,660
I am putting on my top hat, tying on my
white

72
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:51,860
tie, brushing on my tail.

73
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,399
Graham, sir.

74
00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:02,500
Graham, sir. Do not worry. All is well.
I have one cheaty for Colonel Tharp. It

75
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,960
will secure your release so that you
will be free to tickle your ivories.

76
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,080
No, Randy, it won't work.

77
00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:13,860
They'll never let me off jankers until I
finish painting all these stones.

78
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:15,340
Gosh,

79
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:18,120
it's hot, isn't it? Now, what you're
needing is one nice cup of tea.

80
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:24,500
I will whiten the stones for you. Oh,
no, no, no.

81
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,220
It is very infradig.

82
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:30,200
For a man like you to be doing work like
this, you must think of your beautiful

83
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,500
hands and let me do the intra -digging.

84
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,240
Where is that damn chawala? Chawala!

85
00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:41,180
I'm approaching as instantly as
possible.

86
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:44,640
Don't go shouting about as if I was some
damn native.

87
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:50,600
I will shout at you as much as I please.

88
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:58,970
Jolly good pub. Muhammad make most
excellent good tea pub. Yes, I'm sure.

89
00:05:58,970 --> 00:06:00,050
will be most entombed.

90
00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:03,230
Now, sir.

91
00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:08,650
Be seated so you may drink your tea more
comfortably because it is more fitting.

92
00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:10,410
Thank you very much. It's surely decent
of you.

93
00:06:14,470 --> 00:06:15,470
Yes,

94
00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:17,230
sir. Royal Artillery Depot.

95
00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,050
What's the fare?

96
00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:24,750
Two rupees, sir. What? Two rupees. Hey,
one moment, sir.

97
00:06:25,430 --> 00:06:26,430
One moment.

98
00:06:26,770 --> 00:06:28,450
How much is this fellow charging you?

99
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:31,310
He said two rupees or whatever that is.

100
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:32,550
Two rupees?

101
00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:34,970
But it is only one mile to railway
station.

102
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:38,450
Leave this to me, sir. I know how to
handle these damn natives.

103
00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:59,830
Enjoying you a tea, Gunner? Yes, thank
you. What the hell's going on?

104
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:04,790
Get that dirty charron off my veranda!

105
00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:06,410
How dare you?

106
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:08,770
With two pins, I take your pass away and
have you off the camp!

107
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:12,770
Oh, Sergeant Minister, please don't do
that. I'm a poor, humble man with a wife

108
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:14,530
and eight lovingly children to support.

109
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,170
Don't take away my livelihood.

110
00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:17,790
I'm urgently... Shut up!

111
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:19,530
Completely shut up.

112
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:27,830
What's your name, Gunner?

113
00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:29,670
Parkinther.

114
00:07:32,830 --> 00:07:33,850
Where have you been?

115
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:36,130
The rest of the draft arrived yesterday.

116
00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:38,550
You are 24 hours late.

117
00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:39,890
Well, you see... Get up!

118
00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:48,950
Depot orders state that BORs will not
travel in rickshaws.

119
00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:50,830
I'm sorry, Sergeant Major.

120
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:52,930
There's no excuse, lovely boy.

121
00:07:57,260 --> 00:08:02,340
They're dirty, they're filthy, and you
could cut some very nasty things sitting

122
00:08:02,340 --> 00:08:03,340
in one of those.

123
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,820
Say I'm saying what I'm talking to you!

124
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:12,680
You, get that dirty, lousy, flea -ridden
contraption out of here! Now move

125
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:13,840
yourself! Jolly, jolly!

126
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:18,660
Oh, jolly well done, Sergeant Major
Thorpe. That is putting him in his

127
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:19,780
Shut up!

128
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,920
Willingly, sir, you are too kind.

129
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,140
What did you think you was doing sitting
down by there drinking tea? Why wasn't

130
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,159
you whiting them stones?

131
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,159
I'm terribly sorry, Sergeant. Shut up!

132
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:37,940
Sergeant, Sergeant, it is totally my
fault.

133
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:41,840
I did not think it right for a man like
Graham Saab to be doing a job like this.

134
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,980
After all, he's a highly educated man.

135
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:49,760
And at that benefit, a world -famous
Oxford University hallowed wall and ivy

136
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,380
-covered balls, isn't it?

137
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,600
park in one of the quartermaster's
stores and draw a mosquito net. Jody.

138
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,600
have one. Jody!

139
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:08,420
Get on with those stones, Graham.
Absolutely. Right away, Sergeant Major.

140
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,240
Why aren't you punkering?

141
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:20,840
What did he say? He say there is no
point in punkering if there is no one in

142
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:21,840
office to punker for.

143
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:29,000
You tell him his job is to punker and he
is to keep punkering or he'll get my

144
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000
foot up his punk.

145
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,920
Damn people too big for damn boots.

146
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,980
Royal Artillery Deputy Doolary, Battery
Sergeant Major William Shearer.

147
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Inspector Singh, sir.

148
00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:48,720
No, sir, the colonel's not here at the
moment.

149
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,280
Perhaps you care to ring back.

150
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:51,920
Very good, sir.

151
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:56,300
Who was that, Sergeant Major?

152
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,520
I didn't see you there, sir.

153
00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:01,840
It was Inspector Singh, sir.

154
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,440
He's ringing back later.

155
00:10:12,330 --> 00:10:13,330
You all right, sir?

156
00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:16,650
As a matter of fact, I'm terribly
worried, Sergeant Major.

157
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:20,110
Exposing it to this hot sun seems to
shrivel it up.

158
00:10:31,410 --> 00:10:34,730
Well, uh... But you ought to keep it
covered, sir.

159
00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:41,130
Yes. As a matter of fact, I was thinking
of putting a little tent over it.

160
00:10:45,439 --> 00:10:46,439
Tell me what you think.

161
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:49,600
After all, you should know.

162
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:51,380
You've been out here longer than I have.

163
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,160
Well, sir?

164
00:10:58,060 --> 00:10:59,060
That's it?

165
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,160
Well, you're quite right, sir.
Definitely shriveled.

166
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:04,700
Morning, Sergeant Eddard. Sir!

167
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:10,660
I'd give it up without you.

168
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:14,540
Never do any good in this damn heat, old
boy.

169
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,280
Sound me this up.

170
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,480
I have one key for Colonel South.

171
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:28,760
I thought I told you to get over the
quartermaster's door so we'd get a

172
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,600
Just going, sir. Oh, then, Johnny,
Johnny!

173
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:31,880
You are too kind.

174
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,099
Who's it from?

175
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,660
It's from Bombardier Solomon, sir.

176
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,080
Sending you notes?

177
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:41,980
Never heard such impertinence in all my
life.

178
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,320
What does it say?

179
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:47,600
It says, can Bombardier Solomon have the
services of Gunner Graham as he is

180
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,400
needed most urgently for a year or so?

181
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,160
Well, that's the peonage bloke, isn't
it?

182
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,160
Yes, sir. We'd better send him over
there straight away.

183
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,680
So he's on junkers. I can't help that,
Sergeant Major. It's their opening

184
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,600
We don't want the show to be shambles,
do we?

185
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,040
I'll see to it, will you?

186
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,060
Good, sir.

187
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,179
Gunner Graham.

188
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:08,779
Sergeant Major.

189
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,660
Report the concert party bargey straight
away.

190
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,640
Dismissed! Oh, that really is John is
faulting of him.

191
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:20,850
With respect, sir, I must point out that
those men in the concert party have no

192
00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:21,850
right to be here.

193
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,390
They should all be posted up the jungle.

194
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,750
It's only a holding unit.

195
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,010
Exactly.

196
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:29,810
Troops arriving here from the UK know
it's the last stop before they go on to

197
00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:32,130
Burma. Their morale must be kept up,
Sergeant Major.

198
00:12:32,390 --> 00:12:34,290
The concert party does a first -rate
job.

199
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:36,030
The men need to be entertained.

200
00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:39,630
Well, they do have the garrison kinema,
sir. Oh, that's not quite the feeling at

201
00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:41,290
all, is it, Ashford? Oh, dear, sir.

202
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:42,990
You can't beat a live show.

203
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,290
Young fellas and girls on the stage.

204
00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:46,610
First rate.

205
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,040
They're not real girls, sir.

206
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:54,120
They're men dressed up as girls.

207
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,620
I'm well aware of that, Sergeant Major.

208
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,360
I'm not a complete fool, you know.

209
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:04,180
Well, with the footlights on them and
lipstick and powder and one thing and

210
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:05,180
another.

211
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,840
They're not too bad at all, really.

212
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,460
I mean, dammit, in this godforsaken
hole, they're the nearest thing we're

213
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:11,460
to get to women.

214
00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:14,020
I thought you put that very well,
Ashford. Thank you, sir.

215
00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:19,050
Such a slobby shower, sir. I mean, every
one of them's got a different hat on.

216
00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:22,690
I can't help that, Sergeant Major. This
is a holding unit.

217
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:26,470
I'm not authorized to issue extra
clothing unless the men are posted to

218
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:28,250
service. But I do see your point.

219
00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:29,750
We need a consul party.

220
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:34,950
What we want is a smart consul party. So
give them some parades or something.

221
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:36,409
Right, sir.

222
00:13:36,410 --> 00:13:37,410
I'll smarten them up.

223
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:43,890
Captain Ashford.

224
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,250
Good morning, Captain Ashford.

225
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:46,580
Inspector Singh here.

226
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:48,040
Oh, hello, boy.

227
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:49,540
What can I do for you?

228
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,960
I just thought I'd give you a tinkle.
Got a bit of a flap on here.

229
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,060
There's a demonstration tonight.

230
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,520
Oh, law.

231
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,680
A big one?

232
00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:58,900
No, only about 500.

233
00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:01,460
But the procession will be passing by
the camp.

234
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,720
Just keep the gate shut and stay inside.

235
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:05,520
All my men will be on duty.

236
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,920
Well, thanks for warning us. Cheerio.

237
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,160
Toodle -piple, boy.

238
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:13,740
That would expect to sing, sir, the
policeman chap here. There's going to be

239
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:14,740
demonstration tonight.

240
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:15,940
Oh, not another one.

241
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,840
Never heard such impertinence in all my
life, sir.

242
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:23,040
Here we are fighting to defend their
country from the Japanese, and how do

243
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,600
repay us? Marched by the camp every
night shouting, quit India.

244
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:28,580
Base in gratitude, that's what it is.

245
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,480
Quit India.

246
00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:32,580
Why, it's your bloody cogo.

247
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,440
the way.

248
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,860
Britain never, never, never shall be
played.

249
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:54,920
You wait here, sir.

250
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,320
I will report to Sergeant Major Thorpe.
Hey,

251
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,620
you! Sit up straight when you are
punkering. Where do you think you are,

252
00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:04,620
God's sake?

253
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,660
How dare you? To who do you think you
are talking to?

254
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:18,760
I am bearer to concert party, which is
top hold job.

255
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:23,260
So don't you go getting ideas above your
terminus.

256
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:27,940
Wait outside!

257
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,620
Sergeant Major Thaab kindly ask you to
wait.

258
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:44,440
He shouts a lot, don't he? Oh, he's not
hard, man. Only on top is he fierce.

259
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,380
At bottom, he's soft, like that mango.

260
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:52,440
You were very soft with that fellow
pulling that string. He kicked him. Oh,

261
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,980
he did not kick him very hard, sir.

262
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,960
And he's only low -caste fellow.

263
00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:59,400
We British have to be firm.

264
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,900
It is only way. We must maintain law and
order.

265
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,640
It's only thing these fellows
understand.

266
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,259
I'll give you one illustration.

267
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:15,560
Now take the bee.

268
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:19,560
One nice, furry little fellow in
football jersey, isn't it?

269
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:24,540
He go about doing his business in peace
and making beautiful sweetness.

270
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:29,380
But if anybody give him any trouble,
there is always sting in the bum.

271
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,200
That is sting in the bum, sir.

272
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,220
But where must he go for accommodation?

273
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:51,120
He'll only be here a couple of days. Put
him in the concert party, Barsha. Watch

274
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,120
it out. Wait a minute.

275
00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:54,060
I'll come with you.

276
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,280
A few words to say to that lot.

277
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,440
My turn.

278
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:15,140
Sir? Stand to attention when I talk to
you!

279
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,960
I've never seen anything like it in all
my life.

280
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,760
You've got more hats amongst you than a
lady's flaming haberdashery department.

281
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,960
Where have you been, Gunner?

282
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,540
Sorry, Sergeant Major.

283
00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:28,060
I'm not well.

284
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,440
I've got a Bombay trots.

285
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:36,520
Have you been eating bananas without
cutting...

286
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,080
A falling lovely boy.

287
00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:51,780
Yes, Sergeant Major.

288
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,380
I mean, no. I can't.

289
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,100
He's got no control.

290
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:05,540
That's his trouble.

291
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,900
He wants to get some service in.

292
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:11,680
Don't he?

293
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:17,220
I wish I had a pound for every dose of
the deli belly I've had.

294
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:36,460
Sergeant Major, it's MO's orders. It
protects my head from the sun.

295
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:38,580
I've got very thin skull bones.

296
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,220
Well, you know why that is, don't you?

297
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,340
No. You've got such a huge brain.

298
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:47,720
It's rubbing on the inside and wearing
your head out.

299
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:03,020
the difference if I climbed up your
nostrils and kicked your brains out.

300
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,380
There's one thing you've got to
remember, lovely boy.

301
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:15,840
When you were up there in Burma wading
through swamps with slant -eyed Japanese

302
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:21,380
waiting for you behind every tree, your
university education won't do you much

303
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,380
good up there, will it?

304
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,100
No, Sergeant Major. No, Sergeant Major.

305
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:35,510
Two years up in that jungle, playing
hide and seek with those sons of the

306
00:20:35,510 --> 00:20:36,510
sun.

307
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:43,030
And I am going to make sure that you,
and the rest of you, poofs,

308
00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:46,970
end up right there.

309
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:52,230
Oh, I know you're the colonel's
favourite, but he's only going to take

310
00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:56,590
outside this camp, and I'll have you on
that train and up the jungle so fast

311
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,050
your feet won't touch the ground!

312
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:01,910
That's all.

313
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,170
Dismissed! Now move yourselves up!

314
00:21:06,970 --> 00:21:10,610
Oh, really, those awful, boring jungle
reminiscences.

315
00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:14,830
Oh, really, I shall have gone too far
this time.

316
00:21:15,290 --> 00:21:17,450
Does that upset you with all that talk
about jungles?

317
00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:21,970
I mean, am I expected to do a show
tonight after all that chat?

318
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:24,550
You can do it, lovely girl.

319
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:29,750
What has everyone called a sergeant
major, old shut -up? Mikasa!

320
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:33,570
He is all the time telling everybody to
shut up. He never stops.

321
00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:36,930
All the time saying, shut up, shut up,
shut up, all the time, shut up, shut up.

322
00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:38,830
Oh, blimey, dearie me.

323
00:21:44,310 --> 00:21:44,750
Are

324
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:51,830
you

325
00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:52,830
not feeling well?

326
00:21:54,050 --> 00:21:55,210
I feel terrible.

327
00:21:56,350 --> 00:21:57,570
I'm frightened to cough.

328
00:22:01,290 --> 00:22:01,949
go sick.

329
00:22:01,950 --> 00:22:04,990
You can't do that. We'll be one short
for the top act number.

330
00:22:05,230 --> 00:22:06,270
How can he help that?

331
00:22:07,030 --> 00:22:08,390
How can he move?

332
00:22:08,770 --> 00:22:10,110
Oh, you're so amateurish.

333
00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:12,450
Listen, Petal, I've warned you for the
last time.

334
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,260
And then old shut -up will know we can
manage with one less.

335
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,000
And Atlas will get posted.

336
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,320
And that'll only be the thin end of the
wedge.

337
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,120
Before you can turn around, you'll all
be back in Burma.

338
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:39,760
Oh, no, fellas.

339
00:22:40,340 --> 00:22:42,200
We've got to find someone to take his
place.

340
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,640
Sorry, I've not been able to write home
before.

341
00:22:47,940 --> 00:22:50,600
I've now been out in India two days and
it's awful.

342
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,260
No, I'd better not put that.

343
00:22:56,630 --> 00:22:58,590
I've now been out in India two days.

344
00:22:59,890 --> 00:23:01,170
And it ain't half up, Mum.

345
00:23:07,050 --> 00:23:10,370
Oh, happy days are here again.

346
00:23:11,430 --> 00:23:12,770
Sorry, do I look all right?

347
00:23:13,030 --> 00:23:14,030
Fine, fine.

348
00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:17,170
I'm half nervous. What happens if I
forget any words? Just happen to shake

349
00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:18,170
arse. No one will know the difference.

350
00:23:18,470 --> 00:23:19,650
I don't believe it.

351
00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:22,030
Don't drop your flipping stink.

352
00:23:22,270 --> 00:23:23,129
No, right, OK.

353
00:23:23,130 --> 00:23:24,130
Do your flies up.

354
00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:03,190
He's poncing about on the stage.

355
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:07,550
Paint on their faces. It's not normal
and it's not natural.

356
00:24:12,090 --> 00:24:13,090
Captain Ashwood here.

357
00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:14,930
Hello, Ashwood, old boy. A thing here.

358
00:24:15,490 --> 00:24:16,790
I have some bad news for you.

359
00:24:17,030 --> 00:24:18,410
The demonstration has started.

360
00:24:19,290 --> 00:24:21,050
Don't worry, old man. We can handle it.

361
00:24:21,250 --> 00:24:22,490
We've put on extra guards.

362
00:24:22,790 --> 00:24:25,410
Who said there'd only be about 500 in
the procession?

363
00:24:25,710 --> 00:24:28,310
Lord, no. More like 5 ,000. Never think
it's a mob.

364
00:24:29,030 --> 00:24:31,710
They've broken every glass window in the
police station except my office.

365
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:33,790
Fortunately, that's too far for them to
throw.

366
00:24:39,150 --> 00:24:40,910
Must be some damn cricketers amongst
them.

367
00:24:43,330 --> 00:24:46,230
They've put every man you have in the
camp on duty. I'm coming over now.

368
00:24:48,390 --> 00:24:50,170
Bit of a flap on, Sergeant Major.

369
00:24:50,450 --> 00:24:52,830
There's a mob of 5 ,000 making for the
camp.

370
00:24:53,670 --> 00:24:55,070
What a damn nuisance.

371
00:24:55,630 --> 00:24:57,710
All the chaps are in the theatre
watching the show.

372
00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,840
Don't you worry about that, sir.

373
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,460
I'll soon have them out of there.

374
00:25:03,140 --> 00:25:04,660
Right, I'll warn the guardroom.

375
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:09,040
Seriously, fellas, seriously, on a
serious note, we must say goodbye to the

376
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,120
banks of the Shelley Marr and hello to
the glamour and sophistication of New

377
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:18,200
York's Broadway, Park Avenue and 42nd
Street. Take it away, Professor!

378
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:24,220
Here, glory! Where have you been?

379
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,140
I come from a red knickers anywhere!

380
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,440
Oh,

381
00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:47,600
shut up.

382
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:22,900
Is he?

383
00:26:24,380 --> 00:26:25,860
The show, my dear, stop the show.

384
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,140
I said stop the show.

385
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,240
You're so sharp, he's trying to say
something. Take a note, just ignore him.

386
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,120
Look at what, Sergeant Major?

387
00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:33,380
Those banners.

388
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,080
British goal.

389
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,080
British goal.

390
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,080
Bloody cheek.

391
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:44,740
Here we are fighting to defend their
country, and this is how they repay us.

392
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:47,800
You rot!

393
00:28:11,590 --> 00:28:15,670
You should take it as a compliment to
them the cow's a sacred animal.

394
00:28:17,510 --> 00:28:19,690
What to do, Sergeant Major, sir?

395
00:28:20,050 --> 00:28:21,730
What is world coming to?

396
00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:25,390
When will these damn natives learn to
keep their place?

397
00:28:55,430 --> 00:29:01,850
We are here to make you feel good. So
give us a cheer with the hey, hey, hey.

398
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:04,850
Let's gather around and put down your
gun.

399
00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:11,210
We're not about to play to your fun. So
meet the gang cause the boys are here.

400
00:29:11,530 --> 00:29:13,430
the bomb to entertain you.

