1 00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:06,433 [J.D.] Since my scooter was in the shop, I didn't know how I'd get to work, 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,270 but luckily, my neighbor, Ronald, lent me his ride. 3 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,801 Ronald's six. 4 00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:15,574 But I still got there in time to steal the guard's Arts and Leisure section. 5 00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:17,582 Hello! 6 00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:22,081 Around here, everyone has some sort of morning ritual. 7 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:26,592 Getting help on the word jumble from your dyslexic tracheotomy patient... 8 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,388 T-P-l-P-O-E. 9 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,986 [Gasps] Pot pie. 10 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:34,158 Save your voice, Marsha. Mmm. Save it. 11 00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,502 [Squeaks] 12 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:43,531 [J.D.] Cursing out an innocent orderly over a stolen physical therapy tub... 13 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:47,272 Damn it, you better find it! Physical therapy tubs don't disappear! 14 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:49,815 [Squeaking] 15 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,751 Or, for some, just a relaxing afternoon soak on the roof. 16 00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:59,688 Oh, come on. Let me in. This totally covers my boys. 17 00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:08,296 Try and get in here in that thing, I'll give you a four-story atomic wedgie. 18 00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:09,733 [Watch beeps] 19 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,140 [Screams] My eyes! 20 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,773 - [Crashing] - [J.D. Screams] 21 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,640 [J.D.] Yeah, it hurt. 22 00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,380 But when you accept the keys to the hog, 23 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:32,152 you become a lifetime member of the danger club. 24 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,659 Excuse me, fine ladies, 25 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,396 but I've got lives to save. 26 00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:43,267 - Oh! Ronald's gonna be mad. - He's six. 27 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:46,499 - What's he gonna do? Kick my ass? - Again? 28 00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:50,236 Check this chart. Guy says he's been in pain for three months. 29 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,311 For doctors, pain is complicated. 30 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,904 Every patient handles it differently, depending on their race... 31 00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,279 Does what hurt? 32 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,510 ... gender... 33 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,178 Ow! I just bit the inside of my lip. 34 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,781 Nothing has ever hurt so badly! 35 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,621 ... or even their sex life. 36 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,594 Oh, yeah! That feels good! 37 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,893 Since there's no way to truly gauge how much pain someone's in, 38 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,991 we have to rely on an archaic chart. 39 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,629 Mr. Peele, you're about a seven on the pain chart. 40 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:25,877 Yep, you're a seven. 41 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,469 What's a 10? 42 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:30,914 [Screaming] 43 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,550 That's a 10. 44 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:41,082 all on my own 45 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,528 I'm no Superman 46 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,635 47 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,835 [J.D.] After four years, 48 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:58,537 I'm comfortable helping myself to the nurses' muffin basket. 49 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:07,344 Blueberry-cran-carrot-zucchini poppy-seed-chocolate-chip. 50 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,978 All right, everybody. 51 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,582 Last one here has to do a double shift this weekend! 52 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,561 Keith, you just lost your weekend. 53 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,599 What? I totally beat Lisa! 54 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,600 Call that androgynous husband 55 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,001 and tell him or her you're mine this weekend. 56 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,039 But I feel like I edged out James. 57 00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:29,404 We're not clear on the ground rules. 58 00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:32,205 The last one to touch my face. I'm not gonna like that. 59 00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,838 The last one to touch my bot... No, that's illegal. 60 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,473 I'll just e-mail everyone. That's what I'll do. 61 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,916 In this day, that's what you do. OK, over here. 62 00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:43,648 Guys, Mr. Jenkins spent all night without being treated. 63 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,953 Now, I know he's homeless 64 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,186 and smells like an obese man's two-sie. 65 00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,752 - Hey! - Sorry, thought you were dozing. 66 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:56,291 The thing is, it doesn't matter if he's homeless or some senile racist... 67 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:59,634 - Which people do I hate again? - Immigrants, Mr. Bursick. 68 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,173 You hate all immigrants. 69 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,301 - And why do I hate...? - I don't have time, Mr. Bursick. 70 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,408 Guys, if I give you a patient, 71 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,744 I expect you to work your butts off for him. 72 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:13,479 And P.S., Mr. Jenkins is a Vietnam vet. 73 00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:18,047 So let's take care of him like he took care of our nation. 74 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,853 Get out of here! 75 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,693 That's how you light a fire under their butts. Some inspiration! 76 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:28,996 Too much talking, too much talking, too much talking, too much talking. 77 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:34,028 Why did you order a BMP test on my patient, Mrs. Wilk, last night? 78 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,769 - Because she's my patient. - Interesting, 79 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,802 - seeing as I admitted her. - And I treated her last night. 80 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:46,147 - Dr. Dorian, why do I hate all...? - They're stealing all of our jobs. 81 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,710 Stealing all of our jobs. 82 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,552 Perry, we spent an equal amount of time with Mrs. Wilk. 83 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,218 Seeing as we're both attendings, i.e. "equals," 84 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:57,296 why don't we let her decide who her doctor is, huh? 85 00:04:57,397 --> 00:05:02,460 Or we could skip the day trip to Unnecessary-land, 86 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:07,268 and instead, simply concede that Mrs. Wilk is my patient 87 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,707 and that, while we are both attendings, we are in no way equals. 88 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:16,476 We are, in fact, not equals. We are... hmm, unequals. 89 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,081 - I choose Dr. Dorian. - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 90 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:25,113 I don't even believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! 91 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,056 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 92 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:29,822 Yes! I'm shaking! Look at this! It's crazy-talk! 93 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,421 He played hearts with me all night. 94 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,125 [Moans] 95 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,327 You're a very strange man, aren't you? 96 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,131 I was a preemie. 97 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,099 [Whimpering] 98 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,770 Mr. Peele, I have run every test, 99 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,505 and I cannot find any medical reason for your pain. 100 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:47,876 [Groans loudly] 101 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:52,043 [J.D.] Then Elliot did what every good doctor does when they're truly stumped. 102 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,882 - She pawned him off. - I've called a surgical consult. 103 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:58,651 - [Groans] - Help has arrived! Help has arrived. 104 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,215 Turkelton. 105 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:04,252 And then Turk said what every surgeon says when he's not sure what to do. 106 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,695 Hmm. Mind if I slice you open? 107 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,257 [Both scream] 108 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,768 Uncool! 109 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,506 OK, listen up, everyone! 110 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:19,910 I'm sure you all got the flier I made reminding everyone of the staff picture. 111 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,640 I need to know by a show of hands 112 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,239 how many of you aren't gonna be able to make it. 113 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,617 Oh, come on! 114 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:31,020 Aren't you guys embarrassed by our last three staff pictures? 115 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:43,468 Laverne, I'm gonna need a little of your church enthusiasm to help sell this. 116 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,163 Damn it, everyone! We are a family! 117 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,072 A family, people! 118 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,079 - And I know we love each other. - Love's all we've got! 119 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:58,914 So can't we just take 10 minutes from our day to take a real staff photo? 120 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,043 121 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:04,281 122 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,848 - Tambourine's a little much. - Carla, I don't photograph well. 123 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,828 On my driver's license, I look like Gary Busey. 124 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,732 They say the same thing about me. 125 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,632 See ya later, Elliot. 126 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:22,333 I am gonna let Big Bob here give the first excuse. 127 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:26,344 - Blah, blah, blah. I'm not doing it. - I'm caught on his collar! 128 00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:29,176 This picture is happening! 129 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,874 No, it's not. 130 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,850 Oh, what do you know, mop jock? 131 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,944 I've predicted a couple things: 132 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,286 The kitchen fire of '97, the kitchen fire of '98, 133 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:40,416 the arson conviction of Luis the cook, 134 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:44,520 and the termination of the hospital's "Convicts-to-Cooks" program. 135 00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,327 The bottom line, not gonna happen. 136 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:52,701 No, not gonna happen! 137 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,899 138 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:59,375 By the way, I, uh... I won't be at the picture either. 139 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:03,812 You'll be there. You'll all be there. 140 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,009 Hello! 141 00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:10,044 If you're wondering what a "Thank you for being my doctor" card looks like, 142 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,681 it looks a little something like this. 143 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:15,226 "Happy anniversary, gals"? 144 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:18,457 Oops. This one's for my Aunt Judy and her lady friend. 145 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,897 - Must've grabbed the wrong card. - Newbie... 146 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,697 Oh, right, your imaginary warning light. Don't be mad, Perry. 147 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,136 This day was bound to come. I've studied you. 148 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,868 I've taken your best qualities and my best, 149 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,775 and I've combined them into something even better. 150 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,905 Much the way that iced tea and lemonade were joined 151 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,677 to become an Arnold Palmer. 152 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,913 Incidentally, has anyone ever done less to become famous? 153 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,751 I mean, "Yay for me! I mixed two drinks together." 154 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,120 Arnold Palmer is a golfer. 155 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:50,822 I'm sure he has lots of hobbies, Perry. The man's a drink mogul. "Dear..." 156 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,195 [J.D.] In a hospital, even the best of moods 157 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,360 can be ruined simply by somebody handing you a chart. 158 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,437 Do you have any family, Mrs. Wilk? 159 00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:06,604 No. I was married twice. Divorced one, the other died. 160 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,237 Wrong one died. 161 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:14,242 Look, Mrs. Wilk, you have something called systemic amyloidosis. 162 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:18,915 Now, it's in your liver now, but it'll eventually shut down all your organs. 163 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:23,928 There is a treatment, but it's very invasive and, at best, 164 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,965 it'll just give you a little more time. 165 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:33,536 - Well, I've had a great life, so... - Say no more. 166 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,905 I'm gonna take amazing care of you. 167 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,040 OK. 168 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,643 - How's it going today? - Crappy. 169 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,239 I had to tell an old lady she's dying. You? 170 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,185 OK. Elliot turfed this chronic pain patient to me. 171 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,712 I have no idea what's wrong, so I have to do exploratory surgery. 172 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,885 [J.D.] I always wondered what exploratory surgery was like. 173 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,689 I've made the first incision. 174 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,492 I'm going in. 175 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:03,027 - [Grunting] - [Squishy sounds] 176 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,272 Nurse, hat! 177 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:13,700 Colon. Why'd it have to be the colon? 178 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,714 Removing the golden tumor. 179 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:25,413 [Shouting] 180 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,858 Ladies... 181 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,896 They knew the risks. 182 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,134 Watch out for colon darts. 183 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,572 Where's the donut truck? 184 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,008 I got paged there was a donut truck out here. 185 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:47,307 I got paged there was a handbag sale. 186 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,610 Where's the booby-touching booth? 187 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:53,413 Weird. Like everyone was lured by the thing they want most. 188 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,250 Hey, you're not getting your ass kicked. 189 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,290 Hold the phone! Look! 190 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,316 Bleachers! 191 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,053 Ladder! 192 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,426 Bucket of combs! 193 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,261 She's trying to take the picture. Scatter! 194 00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:13,602 Nobody move! Laverne, door! 195 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,698 Nobody's getting past here, baby! 196 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,238 OK, everybody. One, two... 197 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,076 And three. 198 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,482 What are you doing here? 199 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,714 Mrs. Wilk was asking me questions 200 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:33,553 that I actually thought would be best answered by you. 201 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,993 Why did that sweaty attorney ask me if my affairs were in order? 202 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:41,090 Because I wanted to make sure that you're as comfortable as possible. 203 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:44,933 - As comfortable as possible? For what? - I'm going to sit for this. 204 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,636 For the place that you're going. 205 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:54,078 The big puffy clouds, bright lights, all your old friends... 206 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,081 - Seattle? - No, no, no. Not Seattle. 207 00:11:57,149 --> 00:12:01,108 The... You know, the "dying peacefully" place. 208 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:05,453 - What are you talking about? - Now, I'm going to stand. 209 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,054 This morning, you told me you'd had a great life. 210 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,756 Exactly. And I'd like to continue it. 211 00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:17,260 This is just a misunderstanding. Sorry. Tell her it's a misunderstanding. 212 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,201 He's tried to kill before. 213 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:23,435 In a hospital, the words "I'm sorry" can mean a lot of different things. 214 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,145 So, the surgery went fine. 215 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:30,546 Unfortunately, I didn't find any medical reason for your pain. 216 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,744 It can mean, "I'm giving up on you." 217 00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:35,619 I'm sorry. 218 00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:39,190 It can mean you're not sorry at all. 219 00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,793 Sorry your picture didn't come out. 220 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,227 Yeah. 221 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,596 And, sometimes, "I'm sorry" can mean your services are no longer needed. 222 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,833 I'm sorry, Dr. Dorian. 223 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,634 So you gave her the old death sentence, did ya? 224 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:59,610 In the business, we call that a rookie mistake, but thanks for playing. 225 00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,287 Who the hell's responsible for this? 226 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:13,291 Not even my giant mouthful of apple-pear-orange-banana-cherry-berry 227 00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,987 could lift my depression about losing my patient. 228 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,824 Hand over your stethoscope. 229 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:19,831 What? 230 00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,799 In victory, I get your stethoscope. It's a trophy. 231 00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,201 Back in olden times, I'd have made a necklace out of your teeth. 232 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:29,036 I find this highly unprofessional. 233 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,968 Now, I'm going to check on Mr. Jenkins, your war hero. 234 00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:35,707 I feel he, too, deserves a competent doctor. 235 00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:38,341 In fact, I'm gonna take all of your patients. 236 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,384 And consequently, 237 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,818 your only reason for getting out of that lacy, over-pillowed, 238 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:46,756 four-poster virgin cocoon you call a bed every morning. 239 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,823 Gotta get Mrs. Wilk back. 240 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,530 Who gave her a shade remote? 241 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,295 I didn't even know we had shade remotes. 242 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,842 Aww, either your picture didn't come out, or we're full of vampire doctors. 243 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:08,607 [J.D.] Vampire doctors? How did he hear about my screenplay? 244 00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,710 I don't know why you did it, but I know it was you. 245 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,911 - How? - Because it's always you. 246 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:17,422 - It's not always me! - [Man screaming] 247 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,650 [Crashing] 248 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:24,162 Who the hell put tiny wheels on my shoes? 249 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,596 That's his fault. He took a nap in the lounge. 250 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:30,829 Why would you ruin this for me? I didn't even ask you to be there! 251 00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,063 Imagine that. 252 00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:35,538 I've been here 13 years, and I don't rate as part of the family. 253 00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,506 Did you want to be in the picture? 254 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:41,068 No. It's just... I don't... Who... It's... 255 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:42,773 I gotta go. 256 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,519 I actually love these. 257 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:52,090 Miss Brooks, your blood work looks fine. 258 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:56,385 But I'd like to take one more sample, just for me. 259 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:03,327 - [Sucking sounds] - [Moaning] 260 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,167 You taste a little anemic. Get that down to the lab, buddy. 261 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:15,202 - Right away, Dr. Acula. - It's what they call me. 262 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,839 How you doing? 263 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,314 The end. 264 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:22,013 So Dr. Acula is a doctor and a vampire? 265 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,055 He's both. And at the very end, 266 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,092 I'm gonna put "Dr. Acula" across the screen, 267 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,422 take that period, get it out of there, 268 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:33,591 squish it together, it'll say "Dracula." 269 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,190 That is an awesome ending! 270 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,327 Um, thank you for telling me what I already know, Turk. 271 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:45,304 Frick! It's Mrs. Peele! One of us has to talk to her. 272 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:49,347 First one to chug their Slushee is off the hook. Come on! Here we go! 273 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,512 [Screams] 274 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,249 Brain freeze! 275 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,950 Why is my husband being discharged? 276 00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:02,187 - Mrs. Peele, we really could not... - [piercing scream] 277 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,818 Turk, come on! 278 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,463 It's so cold! 279 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:11,361 Mrs. Peele, even though Dr. Turk is incapacitated by his beverage, 280 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,201 - he is a fantastic surgeon. - Uh-huh. 281 00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:17,242 And he didn't find anything. And I am a great doctor... 282 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,574 - Nyahhh. ...and I didn't either. 283 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,743 Don't you think that maybe the pain could all be in his head? 284 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,978 Last week, we were all watching TV 285 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,078 and he was in too much pain to get up and use the bathroom, 286 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,318 so he soiled himself on the couch right in front of our son. 287 00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:34,756 How do you explain that? 288 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:38,329 Maybe there was a good game on television. 289 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,430 Probably not. 290 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:49,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 291 00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:55,845 [Screams] My screenplay! 292 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,243 Hey, sport! 293 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,981 [Grunting] 294 00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:06,882 You just lit your pipe on my title page. 295 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,484 I heard Mrs. Wilk gave you the axe. 296 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,461 She said, "I've led a great life," 297 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,863 and every doctor knows that's code for "I'm ready to die." 298 00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,992 How old do you think I am, Dorian? 299 00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:20,698 There's no way to answer and not get in trouble. Change the subject. 300 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,675 Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me on Sunday 301 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,870 for some homemade jambalaya. 302 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:30,039 Well, it would be good for Enid to get out of the house. 303 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:33,141 My God! He's thinking about it. Change the subject back! 304 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,186 You're 78, sir. 305 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:38,051 - You think I'm that old? - Jambalaya. 306 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:40,489 - I'm 57, numbnuts. - Really? 307 00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:43,561 - I know they say 57 is the new 40... - Who? 308 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:47,621 ...but it seems all people see when they look in my direction is some old guy. 309 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,958 I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstone 310 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:53,129 and some kid asked me if I was lost. 311 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,833 Brookstone. Were you looking for gadgets, sir? 312 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,241 If that's what you call trolling for mall ass, then yeah. 313 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:04,010 The point is, you think Mrs. Wilk is old enough to die. 314 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,916 I'm betting she doesn't agree. 315 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,382 How am I supposed to know the Janitor has feelings? 316 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,220 We should've believed Mr. Peele. 317 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:17,194 It's not like somebody poos their pants for no reason. 318 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:21,028 - Turk did that in college on a bet. - Carla did not know that story. 319 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,067 Thank you. 320 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:25,796 Sometimes when you feel guilty, it's a storm cloud over your head. 321 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,637 - [Thunder rumbling] - [Wind howling] 322 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:41,386 I knew there was only one way to make the guilt storm go away. 323 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:44,047 Mrs. Wilk, I'm sorry. 324 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,954 Mrs. Wilk, I just wanted to say I was wrong 325 00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:55,591 to think you wouldn't want to try every possible treatment there is 326 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,931 to avoid, you know... 327 00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,301 ...the place with... 328 00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:05,108 You know, there's clouds and the Space Needle... 329 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,140 Seattle. 330 00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:08,736 Yes, you were. 331 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,415 But thank you. 332 00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,911 You're welcome. 333 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,452 You got a lot of pluck for an older gal. 334 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,491 How old do you think I am? 335 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:20,923 Jambalaya! 336 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,325 There are a lot of ways to make amends. 337 00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,964 It can be as simple as including someone... 338 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:30,895 Hey. 339 00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:34,704 I want you to be in the picture. 340 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,509 [Whimpers] 341 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:44,980 [Cracking] 342 00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:51,084 - I thought you were trying to kill me. - I fought the urge. 343 00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,553 - OK. - Thanks. 344 00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:57,789 ... or as complicated as committing to a difficult journey. 345 00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,696 Mr. Peele, we believe your pain's real. 346 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:03,701 And you're not going anywhere until we figure it out. 347 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,365 Thank you. 348 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,710 The important thing is to regain the respect of your peers. 349 00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:16,042 Say, Newbie, I, uh, I gotta hand it to you. 350 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:19,413 It took the heart of a lion to apologize to Mrs. Wilk like that. 351 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,451 Thank you. 352 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,180 It took the incompetence of a bewildered jackass 353 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,950 to make that error to begin with. 354 00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:27,992 You never make assumptions based on your own perceptions. 355 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,856 - Just never do it. - Really? 356 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,988 You've been spending time treating my guy, Mr. Jenkins? 357 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,192 He's a veteran. He deserves as much. 358 00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:36,996 He's just a homeless guy. 359 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,799 I made up the war veteran story to motivate my boys. 360 00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,930 But, what are you gonna do? 361 00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,532 Oh, come on. You've gotten me like 100 times. 362 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,511 I finally got you once. It was bound to happen, right? 363 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:51,106 I see your point. Kindly blow it out your ass. 364 00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:56,954 - How did you get them to come down? - Fear. 365 00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:58,954 OK, everybody. 366 00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:02,585 One, two, three! 367 00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:05,425 - [All] Yay! - [Camera clicks] 368 00:21:06,305 --> 00:21:12,452 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles